:) :) :) :) Just Like That !!!!

with love from africa

2011-04-22T09:20:00.000-07:00

This poem was nominated by UN as the best poem of 2008, Written by an African Kid

When I born, I black

When I grow up, I black

When I go in Sun, I black

When I scared, I black

When I sick, I black

And when I die, I still black

And you white fellow

When you born, you pink

When you grow up, you white

When you go in sun, you red

When you cold, you blue

When you scared, you yellow

When you sick, you green

And when you die, you gray

And you calling me COLORED?

Confused Nation..

2011-04-14T00:18:00.000-07:00

where a policeman kills a leopard that is actually attacking a villager, and instead of being felicitated he is booked for the crime of saving a human being at the insistence of some Wildlife Organisations.

A nation where Rice is Rs.40/- per kg and SIM Card is free

Where a pizza you have ordered reaches home faster than an ambulance or police, even if you were being murdered or having a heart attack
Where a car loan is charged at 5% but an education loan, so necessary for our youth is charged an interest of 12%

A nation where students with 45% get into elite institutions through the quota system and those with 90% are sent away because of merit.

Where a millionaire buys a cricket team, spending crores instead of donating the money to any charity. Where two IPL teams were auctioned at 3300 crores, yet still a poor country where people starve for two square meals per day.

A country where footwear is sold in AC showrooms, but the vegetables we eat, are sold on the footpath and very often next to garbage dumps.

Where everybody wants to be famous, not by doing good for others, but by looting others and finally getting their names in the newspapers through some scam or other!

It’s a strange nation we live in, where assembly complex buildings get ready within a year while public bridges, flyovers and sea links take several years even to get off the drawing board and another decade to be completed

We are a nation where two brothers fight with each other for the nation’s spoils, but the nation doesn’t know that the two of them are cleverly looting the nation while we watch their mock battles.

We have malls, and sky-rises, with slums forming their boundary wall.

A country where men and women squat on railway tracks, with no where else to go while watching them from windows, are couples with three bathrooms and one for the guests

A country where politicians who are supposed to serve the people accept money from the same people they are supposed to serve, then take a salary from the government for their services to the people

We are a nation where we talk in hushed whispers about the corruption in the country and then dig into our pockets to bribe a cop when we are caught cutting a red light

Think about it; we are a confused nation, aren’t we?

TAX...... TAX......... TAX............ What a Great job from Govt. of India !!!!!!

2011-04-13T10:56:00.000-07:00

1) Qus.: What are you doing?

Ans.: Business.

Tax : PAY PROFESSIONAL TAX

2) Qus.: What are you doing in Business?

Ans.: Selling the Goods.

Tax : PAY SALES TAX

3) Qus.: From where are you getting Goods?

Ans.: From other State/Abroad

Tax : PAY CENTRAL SALES TAX, CUSTOM DUTY & OCTROI

4) Qus.: What are you getting in Selling Goods?

Ans.: Profit.

Tax : PAY INCOME TAX

5) Qus.: How do you distribute profit ?

Ans : By way of dividend

Tax : PAY DIVIDEND DISTRIBUTION TAX

6) Qus.: Where you Manufacturing the Goods?

Ans.: Factory.

Tax : PAY EXCISE DUTY

8) Qus.: Do you have Staff?

Ans.: Yes

Tax: PAY STAFF PROFESSIONAL TAX

9) Qus.: Doing business in Millions?

Ans.: Yes

Tax : PAY TURNOVER TAX ?

Ans : No

Tax : Then pay Minimum Alternate Tax

10) Qus.: Are you taking out over 25,000 Cash from Bank?

Ans.: Yes, for Salary.

Tax : PAY CASH HANDLING TAX

11) Qus.: Where are you taking your client for Lunch & Dinner?

Ans.: Hotel

Tax : PAY FOOD & ENTERTAINMENT TAX

12) Qus.: Are you going Out of Station for Business?

Ans.: Yes

Tax : PAY FRINGE BENEFIT TAX

13) Qus.: Have you taken or given any Service/s?

Ans.: Yes

Tax : PAY SERVICE TAX

14) Qus.: How come you got such a Big Amount?

Ans.: Gift on birthday.

Tax : PAY GIFT TAX

15) Qus.: Do you have any Wealth?

Ans.: Yes

Tax : PAY WEALTH TAX

16) Qus.: To reduce Tension, for entertainment, where are you going?

Ans.: Cinema or Resort.

Tax : PAY ENTERTAINMENT TAX

17) Qus.: Have you purchased House?

Ans.: Yes

Tax : PAY STAMP DUTY & REGISTRATION FEE

18) Qus.: How you Travel?

Ans.: Bus

Tax : PAY SURCHARGE

19) Qus.: Any Additional Tax?

Ans.: Yes

Tax : PAY EDUCATIONAL, ADDITIONAL EDUCATIONAL &

SURCHARGE ON ALL THE CENTRAL GOVT.'s TAX !!!

20) Qus.: Delayed any time Paying Any Tax?

Ans.: Yes

Tax : PAY INTEREST & PENALTY

21) INDIAN : Can I die now??

Ans : No, wait we are about to launch the FUNERAL TAX

The New ABC's of LIFE .... :)

2011-04-10T00:49:00.000-07:00

A is for apple, and B is for boat,
That used to be right, but now it won't float!
Age before beauty is what we once said,
But let's be a bit more realistic instead.

Now
The Alphabet:

A's for arthritis;
B's the bad back,
C's the chest pains, perhaps car-d-iac ?

D is for dental decay and decline,
E is for eyesight, can't read that top line !
F is for fissures and fluid retention,
G is for gas which I'd rather not mention.

H is high blood pressure--I'd rather it low,
I is for incisions with scars you can show.
J is for joints, out of socket, won't mend,
K is for knees that crack when they bend.
L 's for libido, what happened to sex?
M is for memory, I forget what comes next.
N is neuralgia, in nerves way down low;
O is for osteo, bones that don't grow !

P for prescriptions, I have quite a few, just give me a pill and I'll be good as new !

Q is for queasy, is it fatal or flu?
R is for reflux, one meal turns to two.

S is for sleepless nights, counting my fears,
T is for Tinnitus; bells in my ears !
U is for urinary; troubles with flow;
V for vertigo, that's 'dizzy,' you know.

W for worry, NOW what's going 'round?
X is for X ray, and what might be found.
Y for another year I'm left here behind,
Z is for zest I still have-- in my mind.

I've survived all the symptoms, my body's deployed,
and I'm keeping twenty-six doctors fully employed!!!

EYE FLIRTATION :)

2011-04-09T06:52:00.000-07:00

Funny Pictures, Funny Pics, Funny Images

2011-04-09T06:41:00.000-07:00

FUNOMETER!!!!

CLICK ON THE LINK BELOW AND ENJOY..

Funny Pictures, Funny Pics, Funny Images

India’s Winning Moment Photo Highlights – India v Sri Lanak 2011 CWC Final Presentaion Ceremony Photos

2011-04-03T00:43:00.000-07:00

India’s Winning Moment Photo Highlights – India v Sri Lanak 2011 CWC Final Presentaion Ceremony Photos

The banality of the Indian cricket fan

2011-04-03T00:13:00.000-07:00

The banality of the Indian cricket fan

Indian spectators express themselves physically, through dancing, screaming and jumping about

One of the disappointing things about the World Cup was that it was played on the subcontinent. It is thought that India loves cricket. This is incorrect. India loves India. Cricket gives us the opportunity to express this affection. The local cricket match in India is unattended. Even World Cup matches featuring two other sides will be played without spectators, no matter what the calibre of the players. This is unlike World Cup football, or American football and basketball. What attracts Indian spectators isn’t cricket the sport in that sense.
Let us observe the pattern of crowd behaviour.

Tedious: (above and left) Banners in India are often unimaginative; and Sachin Tendulkar. Photographers: Kirsty Wigglesworth/AP and Gurinder Osan/AP

Indian spectators express themselves physically, through dancing, screaming and jumping about. This is done communally, in groups often including middle-aged men. It is done emotionally, with strong facial expression. Sunil Gavaskar says he was amazed to first play at Lord’s 40 years ago because of the way the audience applauded. It was, he said, always three claps. Clap-clap-clap-silence. But that is why cricket is an English sport. We behave like a WWF audience. Strange things excite us. Like Kolkatans setting their stands alight at the end of a match, a neanderthal fascination with fire.
In European nations (I mean race, not geography and so: England, Australia, South Africa, New Zealand), spectator behaviour is more individual. Where communication is visual, it is not through facial expression, but fancy dress.

Instead of screaming, expression is through the written word: banners.
In India, signs are held up which are either obvious or embarrassingly banal. A decade ago, they were also poorly spelled. These days they’re not because advertisers hand out printed ones. This defeats the purpose of spectator banners, and that is spontaneity. There is never real humour, which can only come when we are able to laugh at ourselves.
In February 1993, South Africa were chasing 208 against Pakistan at Durban. From 158 for 1 they were all out for 198, five of them clean-bowled by the great Waqar Younis.

Sachin Tendulkar

As his yorkers were bringing doom to the last few, a South African held up a large sheet on which she had scrawled “WAQAR THE SPRINGBOK FAQAR”. So clever, I remember it 18 years later. Indians write rubbish.
Foreign commentators often say that the crowd in Chennai is “knowledgeable”. In saying this, they mean that they don’t go off on bump balls, like the crowd does elsewhere in India.
One unique thing is how Indian spectators are silent when the other team scores. On television it’s as if the screen has gone mute. It’s not about enjoying a sport and appreciating the ability of professionals to play it. It’s about nationalism, which in India is narrow and zero-sum. If they score even a little victory, a boundary, our tumescence droops. The Bengali thinks he’s different, but this is untrue. Imminent defeat against the Lankans in 1996’s World Cup resulted in Kolkatans rioting in Eden Gardens, and, as Indians tend to do, damaging the property that they could barely afford.
The Indian team is overrated because our fierce nationalism inflates its capacity. This has been amplified recently because of our economic power. Ten years ago, opponents thought little of us, and rightly. Against the quality team, India’s record is to fold. We regularly get a thrashing from Australia (won 36, lost 61), old enemy Pakistan (47:69), and newcomers South Africa (24:40). Even West Indies, 25 years in decline, have a superior record (39:54).
Usually, Indians are happy if their team wins the skirmish and loses the battle. This is because national honour is often safeguarded by the hero. The astute Ian Chappell noticed that Indians were content if Sachin Tendulkar scored his hundred even if India then lost. In Australia, this would never happen, he said, and it would be seen as defeat, which it is. Since his audience telegraphs this, the Indian cricketer plays for himself much more than players of other sides. An analysis of Tendulkar’s scoring pattern between 90 and 100 will be interesting.
The other thing that separates the Indian audience from the European is the level of security.
David Gower remarked on why Indians flung things at fielders on the boundary. The intent wasn’t to hurt, he said generously, just to distract, “though there were one or two good arms out there”.
Why do we throw things? It’s difficult for others to follow our manner of forcibly inserting ourselves into the action through such simian behaviour.
The Indian is deeply prejudiced against Africans and black players have always been targeted (some will be offended by this sweeping allegation. I am open to the suggestion that the Indian is an equal-opportunity vandal). A bottle hit Vasbert Drakes at Rajkot in 2002. This sort of thing has now stopped. Why? Because Indian spectators are watched over, like inmates.
On all Indian grounds, a wire mesh now separates players from the unpredictable Indian audience. This is shameful, but passes unnoticed in our culture. In Australia, New Zealand, South Africa, West Indies and England, this isn’t needed.
The policing here is excessive, but necessary. Geoffrey Boycott was upset after his sandwiches were confiscated by security in Delhi in February. I sympathize with him for being forced to eat the crew’s Mughlai lunch. Sir Geoffrey is working class and sees no appeal in the exotic. I think a bit of racial profiling is fine, and we should be firm only with Indians.
The greatest commentators in sport are Phil Liggett and Paul Sherwen who for years have guided Tour de France viewers through the countryside. Their quality has elevated the event. Second best is Channel 9’s team of Richie Benaud and Ian Chappell (I don’t like Bill Lawry: too excitable). Of the others, West Indians Michael Holding and Ian Bishop are first rate: polished, elegant speakers.
Sunil Gavaskar and Ravi Shastri are second rate: no lucidity, little insight and speaking only in stock phrase and cliche. In Shastri’s case, this is often incorrect cliche: “You can be rest assured...” Sanjay Manjrekar is better and so, though more evidence is needed, is Sourav Ganguly.
Navjot Singh Sidhu is original, and perfect for Indians. He’s Wodehousian, spouting rubbish with an air of magnificence. A sort of developing world’s Psmith. It is why he’s so popular with us, because the equation is: content < spectacle. Harsha Bhogle works on his language, and is committed enough to wear a hairpiece, but he’s fluffy and boring—a unique double whammy. If we must have fluff, I prefer Mandira Bedi. Lovely body and she puts it on display well.
The one way Indian commentators could immediately improve would be to talk less. Gavaskar says his best lesson in commentary was in Australia when he was with Benaud. When an Indian batsman hit his hundred, the crowd applauded. Gavaskar brought the microphone to his mouth, but stopped when he felt Benaud’s hand on his wrist. Gavaskar said later he realized Benaud wanted the TV audience to take in the moment of the batsman in his solitude, a gladiator in an arena.
Lesson not learnt and no chance of enjoying this in India, with Bhogle and Shastri twittering over everything, and the crowd screaming all the time (silent only during enemy advance).
Between its spectators and commentators, Indians have ruined cricket for everybody. With the growth of our economy, this has got worse. Indian money has been poured into cricket, sloshing in its crevices, spilling out of its guts.
For Indian players this has meant more cash—vast sums from advertising. For Indian spectators it has meant more advertising. Advertisements between overs, advertisements between balls. Intrusive, invasive, relentless, shameless flogging. Strokes renamed by sponsors, sixes renamed after sponsors. Such vulgarity is not off-putting to Indians, which is why it continues and has increased in time.
This could never happen in Australia or England. These places are the refuge for fundamentalists who like cricket played, shown and seen in the orthodox fashion.
Those who wake early to watch the beautiful Test match telecast from Australia are inevitably rewarded. The crunch of the ball hitting the pitch is always clear. The ads for cricket memorabilia are always tasteful. There is the restrained commentary, the women in bikinis (unthinkable in Delhi), the glasses of cold beer (unthinkable in Ahmedabad). Relaxed bodies on sloping green knolls.
No danger of such small rewards of civilization ever reaching our shores, but at least we have Sachin.
Courtesy Aakar Patel (www.livemint.com)
Aakar Patel is a director with Hill Road Media.

Coming Changes Ready or Not??

2011-02-01T09:54:00.000-08:00

Whether these changes are good or bad depends in part on how we adapt to them. But, ready or not, here they come!

1. The Post Office.

Get ready to imagine a world without the post office. They are so deeply in financial trouble that there is probably no way to sustain it long term. Email, Fed Ex, and UPS have just about wiped out the minimum revenue needed to keep the post office alive. Most of your mail every day is junk mail and bills.

2. The Cheque. Britain is already laying the groundwork to do away with Cheque by 2018. It costs the financial system billions of dollars a year to process checks. Plastic cards and online transactions will lead to the eventual demise of the Cheque. This plays right into the death of the post office if you never paid your bills by mail and never received them by mail, the post office would absolutely go out of business.

3. The Newspaper.The younger generation simply doesn't read the newspaper. They certainly don't subscribe to a daily delivered print edition. That may go the way of the milkman and the laundry man. As for reading the paper online, get ready to pay for it. The rise in mobile Internet devices and e-readers has caused all the newspaper and magazine publishers to form an alliance. They have met with Apple, Amazon, and the major cell phone companies to develop a model for paid subscription services

4. The Book.

You say you will never give up the physical book that you hold in your hand and turn the literal pages. I said the same thing about downloading music from iTunes. I wanted my hard copy CD. But I quickly changed my mind when I discovered that I could get albums for half the price without ever leaving home to get the latest music. The same thing will happen with books. You can browse a bookstore online and even read a preview chapter before you buy. And the price is less than half that of a real book. And think of the convenience! Once you start flicking your fingers on the screen instead of the book, you find that you are lost in the story, can't wait to see what happens next, and you forget that you're holding a gadget instead of a book.

5. The Land Line Telephone.

Unless you have a large family and make a lot of local calls, you don't need it anymore. Most people keep it simply because they're always had it. But you are paying double charges for that extra service. All the cell phone companies will let you call customers using the same cell provider for no charge against your minutes.

6. Music.

This is one of the saddest parts of the change story. The music industry is dying a slow death. Not just because of illegal downloading. It's the lack of innovative new music being given a chance to get to the people who would like to hear it. Greed and corruption is the problem. The record labels and the radio conglomerates simply self-destruction. Over 40% of the music purchased today is "catalogue items," meaning traditional music that the public is familiar with. Older established artists. This is also true on the live concert circuit. To explore this fascinating and disturbing topic further, check out the book, "Appetite for Self-Destruction" by Steve Knopper, and the video documentary, "Before the Music Dies."

7. Television.

Revenues to the networks are down dramatically. Not just because of the economy. People are watching TV and movies streamed from their computers. And they're playing games and doing all lots of other things that take up the time that used to be spent watching TV. Prime time shows have degenerated down to lower than the lowest common denominator. Cable rates are skyrocketing and commercials run about every 4 minutes and 30 seconds. I say good riddance to most of it It's time for the cable companies to be put out of our misery. Let the people choose what they want to watch online and through Netflix.

8. The "Things" That You Own.

Many of the very possessions that we used to own are still in our lives, but we may not actually own them in the future. They may simply reside in "the cloud" Today your computer has a hard drive and you store your pictures, music, movies, and documents. Your software is on a CD or DVD, and you can always re-install it if need be. But all of that is changing. Apple, Microsoft, and Google are all finishing up their latest "cloud services." That means that when you turn on a computer, the Internet will be built into the operating system. So, Windows, Google, and the Mac OS will be tied straight into the Internet. If you click an icon, it will open something in the Internet cloud. If you save something, it will be saved to the cloud. And you may pay a monthly subscription fee to the cloud provider.

In this virtual world, you can access your music or your books, or your whatever from any laptop or handheld device. That's the good news. But, will you actually own any of this "stuff" or will it all be able to disappear at any moment in a big "Poof?" Will most of the things in our lives be disposable and whimsical? It makes you want to run to the closet and pull out that photo album, grab a book from the shelf, or open up a CD case and pull out the insert.

9. Privacy.

If there ever was a concept that we can look back on nostalgically, it would be privacy. That's gone. It's been gone for a long time anyway. There are cameras on the street, in most of the buildings, and even built into your computer and cell phone. But you can be sure that 24/7 "They" know who you are and where you are, right down to the GPS coordinates, and the Google Street View. If you buy something, your habit is put into a zillion profiles, and your ads will change to reflect those habits. And "They" will try to get you to buy something else. Again and again. All we will have that possibly can't be changed are Memories.

Job Blogs

2011-01-02T10:02:00.000-08:00

Everywhere you look online these days there are blogs about almost every topic you can think of and the with the job market so hotly contested now there are many job blogs are well. Because it is so easy to be a blogger and there are many free sites that allow anyone to blog about anything that means the number of job blogs online is simply astounding.
With so many to choose from there are obviously going to be some that are better than others, but overall are job blogs useful? The answer all depends on which job blogs you are looking at and also what type of information you are trying to find.
The main differences that you will find with most job blogs are that they are either maintained by an individual person or by a corporation. Some individual maintained blogs can be very useful as many are maintained by people who used to be in the business of job recruiting or some other form of employment finding. These kind of job blogs can be handy is you are looking for advice on what to say in an interview and how to dress and so on.
While the blogs that are maintained by the individuals are somewhat useful from time to time, it is more often than not the corporate employment blogs that really offer you a great source of free information. The nice thing about job blogs that are maintained by corporations is that they often give valuable insights to their companies and if you are attempting to get a job at one of these places then the corporate run job search blogs are a must see. Many times they will offer you an insight to the company itself and flat out tell you what to expect if you want to work for them.
However, the best run and most valuable job blogs that you will find in relation to the job market as a whole will be attached to job websites. Websites such as Monster.com and HotJobs.com have their own dedicated blogs and these blogs will be filled with all sorts of tips, tricks, and general information in regards to finding a job. Additionally you can get advice on post interview tips, follow up tips, and the like all for free. Their job blogs are generally free to view and if you are a member of their site you can even make a comment on a posting if you so desire.
So the answer to the question is yes, job blogs can be very useful only at different degrees. However, when you are in the hunt for the perfect job then every bit of free information that you can gather up will only be to your benefit. While you may have to spend some time searching through the different job search blogs that are online today, it may be well worth it if you land your dream job as a result of the free information that you uncover.