True North

work hard. pray through.

noreply@blogger.com (Joshua Stockstill) — Thu, 16 Feb 2012 01:38:00 +0000

Even though Kelly and I are in St Louis, we both followed National Community Church in their 21 days of prayer. It was good to read some encouraging stories and about the power of prayer on Capitol Hill and around the world. You have to love the stuff from Mark Batterson and his team at NCC.

The stories shaped the way I communicated with our launch team at MiddleTree Church. How could you not be inspired by a women who spent three years in prayer and fasting for her city or by the march a man made around the Capitol Building before shouting for the walls to fall like Jericho.

The week after the launch of MiddleTree Church, I sent a reminder to our launch team and staff. It wasn't anything special. I encouraged everyone to continue their work to make this church a success. I also encouraged everyone to continue praying because our journey as a church had only begun. We had successfully made it through one service, but now God had placed a congregation in our care.

In that email, I bolded the words. "Work Hard. Pray Through."

After I sent the email, I later went back and added a handy Google label so I could reference it in the future. It was the first email I had ever labled with "Future Core Value."

It was a neat moment. And even though I'm not exactly there yet (at least that is why I think the word "future" ended up before "core value"), I want to keep exploring those four words. Kelly and I are even leading a group this semester called, "Work Hard. Pray Through."

We've chosen a book by the Pastor who led us this direction. Circle Maker.

sleep. seminary. sabboth.

noreply@blogger.com (Joshua Stockstill) — Fri, 04 Nov 2011 21:34:00 +0000

When I got into seminary, I was pretty excited. I was thrilled because our plans in St. Louis were taking shape. We'd be learning more and moving forward. I love moving forward.

I was also thrilled because I knew seminary might not happen. Maybe I won't be accepted because of my grades in undergrad. Maybe I won't be accepted into any seminary in Saint Louis because they could each independently label me a heretic. There were a lot of maybes like that. But I got in. It was a great moment, and then about two month later, Kelly got in. Awesome.

Then, Kelly and I heard back from Financial Aid from Covenant Theological Seminary. Along with the basic financial aid package, the seminary was offering me a scholarship to cover 35% of tuition. That moment should have been filled with excitement and energy, but I didn't even attempt to join in Kelly's elation. I don't know that I even cracked a smile. I moved straight to well now we know how much this will cost. Do we have time to pull it off? Should I be going fulltime or partime? I sucked the joy out of something that should have been a great memory. At that moment, I didn't even hold any sense of appreciation.

For the last two weeks, I've been progressively getting more tired. And somewhere in that tiredness, I couldn't even hold my sense of self together. I didn't really even notice that it had become a problem, I just thought I was tired. But this is a problem. I don't want there to ever be another time in my life like this that I am not wholly grateful for the things that God is doing in my life.

I need to learn my limits. I need to take a sabbath. Sometimes, I need to stop and celebrate.

And for the record, I could not be more excited about seminary, this opportunity, and the gift of a scholarship. All these feelings were just a week delayed.

waiting for car-repairman.

noreply@blogger.com (Joshua Stockstill) — Mon, 31 Oct 2011 22:16:00 +0000

I've learned to really enjoy some things that I naturally shouldn't. Vegetables. Hummus. Olives. Beer. Waiting.

Today, Kelly and I took our car to the dealer for some repairs. This visit was well overdue. For about two weeks, it has sounded like we ran over a tree and a few of the branches were beating the inside of our engine. Even with this painful sound, I avoided the car repairman like I avoided the dentist. It would naturally follow that the 4.5 hours that we spent waiting to hear our penalty (I mean diagnostic) would have been painful and drawn out.

It wasn't. I'm at work and I have this very content feeling of "It was a great morning." My entire day was spent waiting to hear back on how expensive car repairs were, but it was an awesome morning. Unlike olives, beer, and vegetables, this isn't a "you are getting older" or "your taste buds have changed" moment. This is just a realization. Everytime I have been stuck somewhere waiting with my wife, I look back on that memory fondly and smile.

Today we had coffee, made fun of terrible soap operas, shared a bag of sunchips (original flavor), and heard that our car just needed another oil change. Our car repairman gave us time to talk and a common enemy. I would not trade today for a day at home. We made some memories, and I'll smile.

i'm the tired your mom warned you about.

noreply@blogger.com (Joshua Stockstill) — Fri, 28 Oct 2011 19:34:00 +0000

I placed a nap on my google calendar today. I thought it was brilliant. As I dragged my one hour appointment with myself to a more reasonable napping period of three hours, I had this overwhelming sense of accomplishment. I have a napped planned!

It is scheduled for Saturday afternoon after my six hour shift at Santé Fitness. This nap is nestled between work and making smores with some very good friends.

Normally, I put some legitimate prep time into events placed on my calendar. If it's a meeting, I go over the agenda and make sure my stuff is at least adequate. If its a date with my wife, I shower and put on her favorite cologne (It's Axe Phoenix, btw). I think it's only fair to put the same type of preparation into this nap and treat it like any other scheduled event.

"Nope, I can't go to dinner and have six pounds of ice cream with you. I have a nap scheduled." That will be my basic response to anyone who tries to invade or pirate my naptime. Maybe I'll make the bed, crack a window so it is just a little bit chilly in my wife's high school bedroom, and maybe I'll get a glass of water for next to the bed (with a coaster and two napkins to avoid any possible condensation). I haven't quite decided on lighting or music, but I'll get to that eventually. Oh, and Kelly will be there too, so some comprimes will have to be made, but the nap is not one of them.

Friends, I implore you. Schedule your first nap today.

nailing transitions.

noreply@blogger.com (Joshua Stockstill) — Sat, 22 Oct 2011 01:46:00 +0000

There are three ways that a person can get through a transition. You can nail the transition, muddle through it, or you can let it kill your next crucial step.

Growing up and even into college, English teachers told me, “There are no transitions here. This isn’t cohesive. You are killing your story.” “No.” I would retort to my seventh grade teacher, “You are killing my story. I’m just trying to get the knight with the magical sword to the princess-in-disguise in time." Screw transitions. I had a story to tell. I was young, foolish, and arrogant.

Ok . . . I am young, foolish, and arrogant. But there is a difference now, I think transitions are important. At the Catalyst Atlanta, every transition is chosen very intentionally. At National Community Church, their Campus Pastors pray through each transition before the service even starts. Now at MiddleTree, I want to bring that type of intentionality and that type of prayer to the transitions at our services and at our meetings.

Today, I am still in the muddling stage. There is nothing clean or prestine with how I handle change from one thing to the next. I am a mess. But I am a persistant, committed and well-intentioned mess, and God will honor that. When I don't nail the transition, God will get my knight to the princess.

it's time for an update of epic epic-ness.

noreply@blogger.com (Joshua Stockstill) — Wed, 14 Sep 2011 12:30:00 +0000

I was in St. Louis for only two weeks before I got a job . . . with health benefits.

Now. That may not seem like a huge deal if you are currently employed and haven't moved halfway across the country. Let me explain - this is a massive deal. This is a "God continues to bless us in amazing ways" type of deal.
I even had to rent a car to make it to and from work from my mother-in-law's house in Manchester, MO. I was living their without Kelly. On Friday, September 16th, I flew back to Washington, DC to recapture the heart of my beautiful wife and bring her with me on this wicked ride. Do you feel like you are missing a lot of this story? St. Louis? Mother-in-law? Back to Washington, DC?

You are right to be lost. I haven't updated this blog with a lot of back story. As they say, God is in the details so I am going to fill you in on as many random details as I can. We'll start on August 26th and work our way forward. That day was the end of something big, and the start of something exponential.

Saying goodbye to people you love sucks. There was a lot of that on my last Friday as a protégé at National Community Church. Pastors Mark Batterson, Heather Zempel, and Joel Schmidgall took the protégés to our celebration lunch at Fogo de Choa. It was the last time that all of us were together - Davey Sheppard, Travis Mason, Diana Fang, Heather Corsi, Reagan Chaney, and Kelly Stockstill. We shared a lot of great experiences together. Including an earthquake at our last protégé huddle with Heather Zempel.

After that lunch, Kelly and I walked through the offices of National Community Church and said goodbye to our friends. Later that night, Lori Krieg and her boyfriend Mark picked us up at our apartment for diner at Cheesecake Factory in Clarendon. I don't even remember everyone who was there, but I was thankful to see so many friends who came to wish us well.

Kelly and I had been packing boxes and preparing for the move for months. On Saturday Morning, I went to Penske to go pick up the 16' Truck on Columbia Pike. We started packing the truck with an awesome crew of people at 9am (Travis Mason, Will & Rachel Johnston, John & Becky Purcell, Joshua Leach, Chris & Jennifer Arthur - I'm probably forgetting someone important, sorry!). We were done packing by 10:30am. Which was great because at 10:29am a hurricaine hit Arlington, VA. No joke.

That day, with nothing in our apartment except a lap, Kelly and I went to purchase some snacks at Harris Teeter and rent three redbox movies. We came home and waited for the carpet cleaner guy to come. It wasn't until after he was finished that we realized we wouldn't be allowed on the carpet for 24 hours while it dried. Since we were trapped in the house by a hurricaine, we went to the only room that had space. We through sleeping backs down on the kitchen floor, and settled in for a night of movie watching (terrible movie watching). Imagine a man and wife spending their last night for a month together crammed between two counter tops laying on the kitchen floor. Insert laptop for dvds and popcorn. That was my last night in DC.

The next morning we woke up to find that the hurricaine had passed before 8am and I could go pick up Goeff Yeowell and begin the drive to St. Louis. Geoff was crazy enough to go on this trip with me so that I wasn't driving a large truck across the country by myself. Love this guy. He roughed it as we stayed in Kyle and Jenny Stephens' basement near Shelbyville, KY. Then he crashed with me at Mrs. Curtis' house in Manchester, MO. Did I mention he also helped unload all of my possessions with James Mitchell at a storage unit in St. Louis (where my stuff still lives to this day).

For the first two weeks, I desperately sought a job. Funnily enough, I'd already had two interviews for positions before I got here. Both interviewers were extremely excited about the idea of having me on their team . . . and then, nothing. By God's grace, I took a job at the Chase Park Plaza. Because of my experience at Fitness First in Alexandria, VA, I got a job at the Front Desk of the fitness center in the hotel.

I worked there for a week before I was able to fly out and get Kelly in DC. I drove her home in our Toyota Corrolla.

Since that day, we have both been accepted to seminary. We have taken on official positions at MiddleTree Church. We took our church staff to the Catalyst Conference and sat with our friends at National Community Church. Our church has had three launch meetings and two big planning days. We've looked for a house and apartment, and failed (Still trying to knock that one out).

It has been an insane two months. The adventure has been epic. If I can, I'll try to include you on the ride. And the rest of the details that I left out, you'll have to hear them later.

god at the movies.

noreply@blogger.com (Joshua Stockstill) — Mon, 05 Sep 2011 21:54:00 +0000

I’ve seen this sermon series twice in my life.

In November 2007, Matthew Skinner took me to my first church service in Washington, DC. Honestly, it was the first time I had attended church without being pushed/required/forced. National Community Church came with a simple series of promises: donuts, coffee, and people won’t care that we smell. I reclined in my theater seat and prepared for God at the Movies: Transformers.

I did not expect to feel comfortable.

I expected to feel out of place, to feel a cold chill settle on my spine, and to dart out of the theater the moment I was able. Run. Never look back. These are not the initial reactions you want people to have when they are at church. These are not the feelings you want people to have when they hear or experience the gospel. As I watched Bumblebee save Sam Witwicky, the comfortable feeling that I was totally unfamiliar with became normal. Normal became home.

I’ve only been in St. Louis, MO for six days. To be perfectly honest, most of that time it has felt completely unnatural. There are some good reasons for this though:

my wife is still in dc
national community church is not my home church anymore
i sleep alone in my brother-in-law’s high school bedroom
i’m unemployed
my wife is still in dc

This is either a recipe for adventure or disaster. Regardless, I think everyone could understand how that would make a guy feel uncomfortable. When you are put in this position, the moments that are normal become profound and clear.

On Sunday (September 2011), I went with the Schmidgalls and Jean to Thrive Church. It was my first church service in St. Louis. This was only their third week since launching at Des Peres 14 Cinema just off Manchester Road and 270. It seemed fitting, since they were meeting in a movie theater, for them to start with God at the Movies. Pastor Jason Bowman spoke about seeking God and how God seeks us via Indiana Jones: Raiders of the Lost Ark.

I think God takes moments like this to remind us that even in chaos that he has a plan. Beautiful. Perfect. Real. If we pay attention and follow well, we can be a part of that plan. I appreciate that God does not mind being repetitive with his message. Repetition is just what I need.

you are more.

noreply@blogger.com (Joshua Stockstill) — Mon, 02 May 2011 20:28:00 +0000

I've like this song for a few months now, but it is really hitting me hard today. Love Tenth Avenue North.

'Cause this is not about what you've done, But what's been done for you. This is not about where you've been, But where your brokenness brings you to
This is not about what you feel, But what He felt to forgive you, And what He felt to make you loved.

when all means fail.

noreply@blogger.com (Joshua Stockstill) — Thu, 28 Apr 2011 15:51:00 +0000

I work in a very strange office.

Amongst all of the talk both for and against the upcoming Royal Wedding, I learned that David Wilkerson passed away yesterday. I have to admit. I had never heard his name before, but I had heard of his organization, Teen Challenge and World Challenge.

Pastor Joel Schmidgall posted David Wilkerson's last blog post, and I wanted to share a brief passage from it.

To those going through the valley and shadow of death, hear this word: Weeping will last through some dark, awful nights—and in that darkness you will soon hear the Father whisper, “I am with you. I cannot tell you why right now, but one day it will all make sense. You will see it was all part of my plan. It was no accident. It was no failure on your part. Hold fast. Let me embrace you in your hour of pain.” - http://www.worldchallenge.org/en/node/13112

Be sure to check out his blog for yourself. Hold Fast.

nothing is impossible.

noreply@blogger.com (Joshua Stockstill) — Wed, 23 Mar 2011 13:54:00 +0000

Over the last three weeks, I have written a lot about defining moments. Moments that cause us to pause. Moments that break us. Moments that bring our knees back to the floor and our faces back to God. Based on the sheer intensity of these posts, you know that there had to be some pretty big circumstances fueling that fire.

There are only a few distinct times that I have sat down to watch Facing the Giants. There were pretty big circumstances, they were defining moments, and I desperately needed the reminder that "Nothing is impossible for God." That short statement is core to who I am. Nothing is impossible for God. God is powerful, merciful, faithful, wise, all-knowing, and so many other things that I will never be able to accurately put into words.

God can do whatever He wants to do, however He wants to do it. And He chooses to work in our lives because He loves us. He's good. Hope today's a milestone for what He can do for the rest of your life if you trust Him. - Coach Grant Taylor in Facing the Giants

Now that you have had the chance to envision me routing for a football movie, I also wanted to give you the chance to imagine me jamming to some Whitney Houston and Mariah Carey. It's only fair turn around, right? And this isn't my feminine side trying to break into my invulnerable masculine shield (It's ok to chuckle at this one). The song "When you believe" probably makes my heart swell to twice its actual size.

"There can be miracles when you believe . . . when you believe." With the belief that nothing is impossible for God, we have to learn to accept miracles. If God is going to reveal His glory to the world, we have to expect that as a part of our obedience we will be put in a place that requires a miracle.

In 2007, I was laying in a cabin in Knob Lick, MO praying that God would move me to Washington, DC to work for the Congressional Award. How does a boy living in Carbondale, IL just decide to leave everything behind and take a job on Capitol Hill? It took God. And I watched Facing the Giants.

In 2010, Kelly and I made the decision to apply for the protégé program at National Community Church. I'd dropped off the application, and out of pure excitement I could not sleep. How can a man leave a paid career to pursue an unpaid internship at his church? It took God. And I watched Facing the Giants.

In 2011, Kelly and I hit a financial wall. We'd selfishly and foolishly taken complete control of our finances while in the protégé program. How do a man and wife lay down their pride and finally place their lives in Christ's hands? It took God. And I watched Facing the Giants.

Kelly and I are still fighting the emotional battle of our financial wall. God had brought us to a rock and a hard place, and we finally broke. God broke us so that He could make us stronger, and I am incredibly thankful for that. He placed us in a tough spot so that He could reveal His glory in a pretty big circumstance. For six months of the protégé program, Kelly and I had not allowed people to invest in our calling and God's vision for our lives. We were trying to protect that vision (As if God needs protecting!!!).

Eleven days ago, God put it on our hearts to share our story with the people at National Community Church who had made an impact on our lives. We had a debt that we could not pay - $2,400. And in ten days, God worked a miracle through our friends. We found support, prayer, and encouragement in volumes that we could have never imagined. In ten days, that debt has been paid.

Nothing is impossible for God. He brought prayer and encouragement into our lives when we needed it most. He stood between us and a giant. He carried us. If people can remember one thing from this impossible moment, I hope it is this - Nothing is impossible for God.

broken.

noreply@blogger.com (Joshua Stockstill) — Mon, 07 Mar 2011 16:25:00 +0000

Everyone has those parts of their character, personality, or beliefs that are fragile. As with all things that are made of delicate glass, we place them on a pedestal and try to hide them from the general public. If they are hidden, they are safe, right? You can't actually break or shatter what can not be found.

Oh, the dangers of this type of logic. In the past nine months, I have found that none of my weakness are even remotely safe. God intentionally seeks out those things in our own hearts that have hardened. He breaks down the weaknesses that have made us fragile. He shatters the glass that we thought we so safely hidden from the world.

Kelly and I accepted a lot of things going into the Protégé Program at National Community Church. We knew the financial sacrifice - over half our of income would be replaced with a full time position in ministry. We knew the sacrifice of energy and time - much of our free time would be devoted to educating ourselves spiritually or building community intentionally. But most importantly, we knew that God would push us.

This weekend, Pastor Mark Batterson spoke about Noah's commitment to God's directive. Noah was commissioned with the job of building a boat, but the challenge does not stop there. He was rejected by many people in his community for being a fool. He had to gather supplies to build an ark. He had to gather food to feed not only his family, but over 45,000 animals. Noah had to have the patience to work night and day while on the great ark to keep all of creation alive. Building the boat was just the first step, things did not become easier just because one task was completed!

Once you have committed to the path God has put before you, things do NOT get easier. Things get HARDER. As Pastor Mark said, "God stretches you and cultivates your potential."

God continues to stretch and cultivate our potential today. I have done a poor job of sharing the miracles that God has worked in my life. Deciding to enter the Protégé Program was just the first step. It seemed like an impossible step, but it was just the first step. During the last nine months, God has taken the opportunity to draw and shatter the weakness in our hearts. Kelly and I have seen and felt God take things that were once glass and transform those same weaknesses into strengths that are now flexible and endurant. God does not leave things shattered and foggy. He heals them. He cultivates your potential.

Over the last week, God has challenged possibly our greatest weakness to date. He broke Kelly and I of our pride and our stubborn self-reliance. We had placed our future in God's hands by entering the Protégé Program, but we never relinquished control. God has placed us in the situation where we must not only rely on Him, but we must destroy our own pride and rely on others to partner with us.

We are broken, shattered, and thankful. We are thankful that God has taken this time to strengthen and cultivate our hearts for the roads ahead. We are thankful that God's glory will no longer be robbed because of our selfishness and pride. We are thankful that God loves us this much. He loves us enough to break us, heal us, and set us free.

crash.

noreply@blogger.com (Joshua Stockstill) — Thu, 03 Mar 2011 04:43:00 +0000

Life has its extreme moments.

Everyone has these moments. We are going through our day-to-day and/or week-to-week routine and then out of nowhere - life changes. Sometimes the changes are huge and irrevocable. Sometimes the changes are small or more of a personal revelation. But for the purpose of this post, we are going to call them "car crash moments."

No one plans a car crash. People don't wake up at 7am, prepare for work, and then set their eyes and fender towards the nearest Volvo. Well, I should say most people don't plan a car crash. You'll see scenes in nearly every action movie where a guy like Nicholas Cage intentionally takes a beautiful vintage car raging through the streets in a successful heist. But for at least the next couple paragraphs, let assume that car crashes are not planned (Predestined? Maybe. But not planned).

The Crash
I remember very distinctly the moments before my Ford Explorer was totaled. The van on the opposing side of traffic hit a patch of black ice and then slide immediately into my lane. The impact was at the driver's side door, and I sat back and thought, "Well, I guess this is going to happen." I was relaxed. It was not natural. It was surreal.

Legitimate (one's that aren't on purpose) car crashes ALWAYS happen at the most unexpected times, and then they totally own the moment. What was I doing the morning my Explorer was totaled? I could not tell you. What about later that evening once thing had settled down? No idea. But, I can tell you about all of the surrounding events. I could describe the nice couple that pulled up behind me to make sure everyone was ok.
I could even tell you that my dad answered the phone call I made to home, and I was thankful. When I finally arrived at Cheddars, my best friend, James, was finishing a cookie monster.

Life has these moments too. It was a car crash moment when my father just decided it was time to leave in the middle of my senior year. It was a car crash moment when I flew home to talk my little brother back to the ground. And, it was a car crash moment when Pastor Mark Batterson said, "If Jesus said, ‘Come’ you better not stay in the boat."

The Acknowledgement
These things tend to happen and we have no real idea what the total impact will look like. Is everyone really ok? How will I tell my wife/parents/kids/mother-in-law? You have to accept a new circumstance. You have to find a new normal. Depending on the circumstance, these are the hours of excruciating torment. We go from "it not a big deal" to "the world on its head." It takes a good 24 hours before honest effects of the car crash set it and we find middle ground. It takes this time to understand and acknowledge our event.

Going Forward
I'd love to take this moment to tell you there is a perfect formula or solution schematic for when you run into a "car crash moment." I really would, but I haven't figured it out yet. Each time I think I've found a safe cruising speed, God impacts me emotionally, spiritually and occasionally physically.

He uses wounds as an opportunity to make us stronger. He brings our hearts back towards His light. He pulls us out of wreckage and places our feet back on the ground.

Yesterday, Kelly and I ended up in a "car crash moment." I know that God will see us safely to the ground. I know that each change and action we commit will only strengthen our resolve in Him. It is a revelation of spirit. Since 24 hours have passed, we'll acknowledge the collateral damage and keep going forward.

retreat me.

noreply@blogger.com (Joshua Stockstill) — Sat, 26 Feb 2011 14:27:00 +0000

View from the Boathouse at Camp Letts

There is something about leaving this city and escaping for a few moments, hours, or even days. I like to find a place that doesn't even look remotely urban. If their idea of traffic is having to pause at a four way stop, then I figure I am close to hitting the mark.

Sometimes this means a three hour drive to Shenandoah National Park to get some backpacking in, and sometimes this means grabbing a water bottle and hitting up the Billy Goat Trail. Kelly and I also like to retreat to the island of wild ponies just south of Ocean City, MD. The beaches of Assateague Island are quiet, clean, and very simple. In all three of these places it is difficult to find internet or cell reception - b e a utiful.

Personally, I will always choose an extreme outdoor location every time I leave the city. When I am planning a retreat for a group, I have to worry about participants as a whole. How would they feel without flushing toilets? Can they cope without any running water? Have they touched raw meat before? Is asking someone to sleep on the ground asking too much?

Even though it isn't the extreme environment that my mind, body, and soul long for, I still love retreats. People become more honest and open when they have been displaced. Their reality and their current circumstance isn't within reach, and because of that distance we become very real people. Each semester, National Community Church hold just such a retreat for our Alpha Course.

This semester Kelly and I have decided to take the retreat for a ride. It will be a new location, different food, a pleasant ride from Ebenezers Coffeehouse, and their will be fire. Camp Letts is on a peninsula which means there is water almost as far as the eye can see. I can't wait to get people out to the camp and share some smores. We are also praying that each of our Alpha guests will be able to join us - It's a life changing 24 hour experience.

idiot's guide.

noreply@blogger.com (Joshua Stockstill) — Fri, 25 Feb 2011 15:51:00 +0000

There are two things that I am doing in my life to become a better person (and hopefully one day a better pastor). Ok. Hopefully, I am doing more than just these two things to become a better person. These two things are specifically making me more Bible literate. Which in turn, I am praying will make me a better person.

And yes, I said Bible literate. I know what you are thinking, "Doesn't this guy work at our church?" "What do you mean you don't know how to read the Bible?" or better yet, "I'm concerned for the future of discipleship at our church." Quick answers: Yes. Exactly. And if I were in charge, I would be concerned about the future of discipleship at NCC too. Props to Heather Zempel, Will Johnston, and Maegan Stout - aka Team D. These people do great things for the kingdom of God everyday and make discipleship the focus of everything we do.

This semester, Kelly and I decided to take Theology 101. Pastor Heather leads this small group at least once a year that examines different doctrines. It's a chance to debate our beliefs and create a solid foundation to build on. After our first meeting of Theology 101, we headed straight to Barnes & Noble.

At Barnes & Noble, I found The Complete Idiot's Guide to The Bible. I haven't shared that with anyone outside of Kelly, but that night we bought it. I can already imagine carrying this book around as I attempt to wade through some of the harder classes at seminary. "I'm sorry professor, but right here in my idiot's guide . . ." At night as Kelly is preparing dinner, I pull the book out and share "Manna from Heaven", a "Snapshot", or different "What Sayest Though?"

This all comes down to one simple thing- spending time in God's word. Even if you are using an idiot's guide to wade you through the difficult chapters of the Bible, I don't think this is something that you have to be ashamed of. God is just excited that you are digging in.

once in a lifetime

noreply@blogger.com (Joshua Stockstill) — Thu, 24 Feb 2011 17:30:00 +0000

There are naturally moments that impact us and stay with us forever. Last week, I was taking a shower when a thought struck me while belting out lyrics from "We are the World." Some things were only meant to happen once. No repeats. No do-overs. No sequels.

While I was in high school, I attended this thing called - The Missouri Scholars Academy. It was three weeks on the campus of Mizzou. Even though I was only 16, I got to act like a college freshman and learn some cool stuff. Our RA (We'll call him Brad, I can't remember his name really.) said that this was a once in a lifetime experience. He said many people leave the Missouri Scholars Academy and spend the next five years of their life trying to repeat the experience somewhere else. They waste time. They wonder. And they sign up for anything that might provide a similar experience. You think Brad was suggesting that this three week experience was an addictive drug, but his real point was simple. This will only happen once. You can't repeat it. Take it for what its worth.

I've found this is solid sound advice. Advice I wish that the creators of the Matrix would have taken. Regardless, I continued signing, "We are the one's who make a brighter day, so let's start giving." Many producers have tried to repeat this amazing collaboration of artists and many have failed.

Sadly, I only have six months left in the protégé program at National Community Church. I know that come August, there will be no going back. There won't be any awesome sequels. Frankly, there isn't time for any awesome sequels. God is asking Kelly and I to move forward, and we will find away and carry these amazing memories and experiences with us. But if asked to do a major collaboration like "We are the World," I would still take the opportunity. Just because if is a painful repeat for the audience doesn't mean it couldn't be a once in a lifetime experience for me.

pine scent.

noreply@blogger.com (Joshua Stockstill) — Wed, 23 Feb 2011 17:30:00 +0000

After I had scrapped the idea of speaking on "more weight," I had to reflect on some of the things and experiences that were incredibly important to me. I naturally remembered my time with Boy Scouts of America. Outside of the Protégé program, my time as a scout, leader, executive, and camp director was the most concentrated time of personal growth and development in my life.

I learned to be a leader of character. I learned what it meant to create a legacy and develop leaders. I learned that intentional actions and words can spark great change. I also learned that restating your vision and mission is key to your organization's success. Many scouts will remember the Scout Oath & Scout Law well into adulthood. For many scouts their first time praying over a meal will be at an overnight camping trip.

Since I was in charge of the staff devotional on Tuesday (and my other idea had tanked), I decided to share some of these things who have shaped who I am. The first of which is the Greater St. Louis Area Council, S-F Ranch Grace.

The S bar F Ranch Grace

For the gifts of food and freedom
and hills to roam,
for crimson sunsets,
for the earth, our home.

For the stars at night
and gentle wind in trees,
we thank you, Great Spirit,
for all of these.

S-F Ranch is the lush backcountry of Knob Lick, Missouri. It is beautiful, and I am incredibly thankful for my time there. Within this setting, you can appreciate, feel, and breath in God's creation. At the onset of the devotional, I let everyone pull a pine needle from a limb I pulled from a neighborhood tree. I asked them to hold it for one moment and soak in the details. Then, as I tried to verbalize an image of God's great creation, I asked everyone to crush the pine need and then smell it.

Everyday I go to God the Father as a God of mercy, forgiveness, and love. I simply wanted to take a moment and worship God the Creator.

the story of a man.

noreply@blogger.com (Joshua Stockstill) — Wed, 23 Feb 2011 14:52:00 +0000

On Tuesday, I led my first staff devotional at National Community Church. The staff devotional is no small feat, and I specifically requested the end of February because Leadership Retreat, Date Night, Alpha Training, Alpha Kickoff, Small Groups Kick Off, and Act Like Men would all be behind me (It was a very busy January/February). I didn't even mention our Love Series Kits or the painful week we just had with Patch.com . . . crazy busy.

This devotional is only supposed to be about five minutes long and it is an opportunity to share something that God is doing in your life or placed in your life. At a minimum, it should be personal and reflective. How long should it take the average person to prepare for five minutes of talking? I think that is a good questions. How long did I spend? Five hours.

I wish this was an exaggeration. I also wish I could say it was the best devotional ever, but it wasn't. I spent the first three and a half hours preparing a devotional on the idea of "more weight." It is the story of a man who was pressed during the Salem Witch Trails. Given our theme of "All In" and my resent educational experience at the Crime & Punishment Museum, this seemed like a brilliant idea. A man who was so set in his convictions that he stood against the courts and ultimately died under the crushing weight of judiciously placed stones. Most people under excruciating pain would gladly tell whatever lie a man wanted to hear to ensure relief, but not Giles Corey. Mr. Corey simply said "more weight." These were his dying words.

Out of sheer interest, I did a little more research on our friend Mr. Corey. While he was not specifically guilty of the crime for which he was being accused, he was guilty of plenty of other crimes. I'd say the big one is that he actually testified against his wife when she was accused of being a witch. Oh . . . he also murdered someone and paid a fine for it.

Now, I have this devotional prepared. And at 10pm on Monday Night, I scrapped it.

the break-up.

noreply@blogger.com (Joshua Stockstill) — Wed, 23 Feb 2011 04:35:00 +0000

Facebook and I have decided to separate. It was a difficult decision by both parties. We (I say we loosely) feel like it is for the best. When I first tried to leave Facebook, the site kept saying, "Kelly will miss you", "Pat will miss you" and "Davey will miss you." This last ditch effort to keep me with Facebook only left the emotional scars that it meant to deal.

In the end (even though it will be hard for our mutual friends), I know this will be for the best. This is also simply a trial separation. On April 15, 2011, I have a date to revisit Facebook and re-evaluate our relationship. There is still hope that things will work out, but in the meantime I am going to focus on my own personal development.

In the separation, I am hoping to blog more, read more, and learn more. It will be hard. Let's all try to be strong through this hard time. I know we would both appreciate your support. In the meantime you can find me on twitter.

two weeks notice.

noreply@blogger.com (Joshua Stockstill) — Tue, 14 Dec 2010 22:04:00 +0000

A few weeks ago (two weeks to be exact), I realized that one of the largest problems I was facing was simple. I had lost the time I needed to be creative. I hadn't scheduled time to think or to visualize. After six months of working of going to work at 4:30 am and running around till the late evening hours, I had suffocated the two spiritual gifts I valued most:

The ability to succinctly visualize and understand the possibilities of the future.
The natural curiosity that leads me to think of every idea possible for a given situation.

This is the main reason I was willing to put in my two weeks notice at Fitness First was to reclaim these said gifts. There was HUGE risk involved, but I will be far more valuable as a husband, Alpha Leader, Team D protege, and overall human being. My relationship with God came with this sight and understanding that I can't explain. After Kelly point blank said, "You are too tired to pray." The decision was final.

Moral of the Story: Your own hard work and ambition will not make up for God's grace and gifts. They are far to valuable.

opportunities for community.

noreply@blogger.com (Joshua Stockstill) — Wed, 27 Oct 2010 21:33:00 +0000

In the past, I avoided awkward conversations about religion and faith. Frankly, I never thought I could do God justice. I put a lot of unnecessary pressure on myself to be perfect, flawless, and personally victorious. Eventually, someone let me know a fact that changed my life: People don’t save people. God saves people. My only job was to present the opportunity.

I see the same thing happen in small groups on a different level. Small groups are responsible for fostering a community that can help people grow in their relationship with Christ. As small group leaders, it is very easy to make it our responsibility to create community. We need to get the facts straight: God creates community and changes hearts. Our job isn’t to create community within our small group, but to prepare for it. If we are intentional with our preparations, we can provide an opportunity for community. We can even become a utility of God to create community.

What can we do to make community possible? What opportunities would give God a chance to make great things happen? This will entirely dependent on the type of small group your leading. Everything will not work for everybody. Be creative. Below you’ll find a list of some things that I’ve found work pretty consistently.

Conversation Starters
It doesn’t matter if the group has been meeting for two weeks or two years. No one wants to start with the group, “My greatest sin is . . . “ or “I’ve fallen to temptation this week . . . “ We need to ease people into those types of situations. Start with a traditional ice breaker or a “How has everyone’s week been?” Consider having a reprising question that coincides with the mission of your group. ei: If you are leading a service small group, “What did you do this week to make a difference?”

Beyond the Weekly Meeting
Social events and service projects will help the group develop friendship that will enable a Biblical community to form. A baseball game could break down barriers in a men’s group. Couples groups might consider a joint date night. Commit the entire group to a service project that someone or everyone is passionate about. One hour outside your regular meeting could totally transform where you are into where God wants you to be.

Prayer
Bible studies include prayer. Just because it’s a given, doesn’t mean we are as committed as we should be. If we want God to be apart of our community, we need to bring God into our conversation. You can’t just talk about Him, you have to talk with Him.

Goal Sharing
People need to invest in one another. Share goals, dreams, or visions. It is much easier to break down walls and share if it is with someone who believes in you. Consider setting a goal as a group. Consider having each person share one goal, and then pair them with one person to keep them accountable.

Confession
It takes an environment of trust, comfort, and understanding before people are willing to share their deepest darkest secrets. If you build this type of faith in one another, it is impossible not to have community.

Play. Test. Have fun. Have Faith. Let God do the rest.

it's who you do ministry with.

noreply@blogger.com (Joshua Stockstill) — Sat, 11 Sep 2010 21:54:00 +0000

The protégé program started on Thursday morning at 9am. All six of the protégés huddles together in the office above Ebenezers Coffee House. I heard someone describe it as the pilot episode of MTV's Real World.

This is a true story of six strangers that were picked to aid the church, work together, and have their lives forever changed. Find out what happens when people stop being polite, and start getting real. The Real Protégé Program.

We gathered together upstairs one by one before a real introduction to National Community Church (NCC). The staff at NCC is amazing and took us right under their wing. However, my favorite moment of the day was morning coffee.

Travis, Heather, Davey, Diana, Reagan and I sat down with Heather Zempel and Joel Schmidgal for story time. Where is everyone from? How did they get here today? I get the privilege to work with some incredible people. The other five protégés blew me away with their stories of hope and calling. Everyone was there because of a miracle.

God brought us together. I can't wait to see what He does in each of us. And I can't wait until things get real.

miracle is in the house.

noreply@blogger.com (Joshua Stockstill) — Fri, 03 Sep 2010 08:55:00 +0000

I figured it was probably time to give an actual update of where I am today.

The Short Story: Today, I am sitting at Fitness First in Alexandria at my morning job. It's a modest job that helps make ends meet. God is the one who actually makes ends meet, and I am incredibly thankful for that.

The Abridged Version: In May, I gave notice of leave to the Congressional Award. Applied for the protégé program at NCC. Sold my car. Took a part time job at Fitness First. Worked with Geoff Yeowell to host a Men's Canoeing Retreat. Received an offer and accepted a position at NCC. Spent my last day working at the Congressional Award. Attended Alpha USA's National Conference. Got a second job at the Patch. Worked with my wife to recruit leaders for Alpha Northern Virginia. Said goodbye to some very dear friends at NCC Kingstowne. Joined the NCC Potomac Yard launch team. Waited with baited breath for September 9th to arrive.

The Whole Story:
Unless you are an NCCer, I doubt you understand most of the abridged version. In fact, since I have been pretty quiet, most friends and family have not even heard the abridged version. People tend to look at you funny when you and your wife decide to quit your career with nothing solid ahead of you. But that is what Kelly and I decided to do. We wanted to make space for God to do something awesome.

The goal for the last year has been to leave the Congressional Award to find a more DC-like career. Basically, something that paid ALL of the bills so that we could eventually go into ministry debt free. I was waiting for God to do something great even though I had not committed by action what I had committed to in faith. Over the year, I applied to over 50 jobs that I would have seriously considered taking.

Kelly and I had talked several times about the possibility of applying for the protégé program at National Community Church (NCC). It wasn't financially possible so I removed it as far from my mind as possible. My beautiful wife on the other hand sent me a 'please apply' email every time that Pastor Mark Batterson or Pastor Heather Zemple updated their blog or Facebook status with information about the program. Kelly and I also looked into the possibility of seminary, but again, it didn't seem possible.

In April, I convinced Kelly it was time to go back to Alpha. As administrators, we'd have the opportunity to see what it would be like to do ministry side by side. That and I felt like that might placate God for the time being. Yes, I said "placate God." Sometimes desperation leads to delusion. Leading Alpha: Good idea. Thinking it was the end of an idea and not the beginning: delusional.

In December 2009, we had made plans to her father and brothers in Chicago in June (plane tickets and everything). Aside from quality time with family, it also gave us a chance to root against the Cubs on their home turf. In March, the Speaker of the House set the dates for the biggest event on the Congressional Award calendar. Because the Congressional Award Gold Medal Ceremony fell on the same dates as our trip to Chicago, I was going to stay in DC. After we committed to leading Alpha, Juliet Main invited us to the Alpha USA National Conference in Chicago. The conference started the same day we were due to return from visiting her brothers in June. We knew that God had made plans for us. It might be a crazy plan, but for God nothing is impossible and nothing is crazy. Still yet, the plan was to leave me behind in DC so that I could keep my job.

On Sunday, May 16, 2010, Pastor Mark Batterson spoke about the miracle of olive oil. His words from that weeks message changed everything. "An impala will not jump if it cannot see where it will land. I wonder how many of us are like that? I’ve got faith but I just need to see the outcome. That’s not faith. What did Abraham do? He went even though he did not know where he was going. That’s faith. Faith is borrowing a container and putting yourself out there, a little awkward, borrowing from neighbors, without knowing why God even wants you to do it. But you have the faith to do it and I promise, the first step is the hardest step. If you take that little step, I think here’s some good news, the miracle may only be a phone call away. It may only be one meeting away, or one application away. If we have the faith to take that step even when we don’t know the outcome, trust me, I know there is a process of prayer and discernment that goes into this. If you are going to get out of the boat in the middle of the Sea of Galilee, you want to make sure that Jesus said, ‘Come’ or you are going to look foolish. But if Jesus said, ‘Come’ you better not stay in the boat. You better take that little step of faith and you might just walk on water. That’s how it works." ( Check out the whole service from May 16, 2010 - Click Here!)

Kelly and I drove home in silence as we thought about everything Pastor Mark had said. As we approached the elevator in our apartment, Kelly asked "What are you thinking about?" Normally I say, "Nothing." But this time I quickly answered, "Quitting my job and applying for the protégé program." My wife's response, "So was I." As soon as we got upstairs, Kelly wanted me to call Pastor Chris and just talk to him about the program, see if it was too late, talk about seminary too while I was at it. (Pastor Chris is the pastor that married Kelly and me, for those who are trying to keep up). I left a message, and came back to a smiling wife, "You left a message? Well, there is no backing out now."

I started preparing my application that evening for the protégé program. I contacted some incredibly supportive friends to submit references. After laboring over my words for 10 hours, my application was as good as it was going to get in a day and a half. Tuesday morning it was pouring down rain so I wrapped my application in two 'Wal-Mart' bags to protect it. You remember odd things when you take a life-changing step. In that single moment, I had committed to leaving my job and starting in ministry. There was a good chance I was not a good fit for the protégé program. There was even a chance that I was being called to seminary first. Regardless of the outcome of the application inside that 'Wal-Mart' bag, Kelly and I were stepping out in faith.

On Thursday, May 20, 2010, I sat down with the National Director of the Congressional Award and gave my month's notice. I was going with Kelly to Chicago even though it meant total uncertainty. It wasn't possible and wasn't safe to leave one foot in the boat, we were committing 100% to the direction that God was calling us.

On June 8, I started a new part time job with Fitness First. Kelly had been working out the week before at the gym and praying on the treadmill for a miracle. Praying that I would be able to find a job that ended before 9am so I could work multiple jobs if needed. As she left the gym, the manager put up a sign for a floor attendant on the 4:45 am to 9am shift. It was a shift that would work well if I became a protégé. Two minutes later I was on the phone with the manager, and four hours later I had the job.

Pastor Heather wanted to meet with me to discuss the program (and I prepared for the interview of a lifetime . . . dress cloths and all. Yes, I was terribly overdressed.) I wrote to my friend Albert after the meeting, "She gave me a general run down of the life of a protégé - make sure I was really interested. So it was a very casual conversation, and nothing definite just a lot of ideas in the air. They are currently considering me for Team D. She said they plan to make final decisions early next week, so I am going to take that as Wednesday/Thursday. I feel like a kid waiting for his birthday to come, it is a very strange feeling." I was able to accept the position that afternoon on June 11th, and it was a very strange and wonderful feeling.

Since Kelly and I were flying to Chicago the next morning, my last day with the Congressional Award was June 15, 2010. We got to see Nicky Gumbel and envision the Alpha Course for Pentagon City. It was also a great chance to spend time with her brothers.

****

And I think I have finally come to a stopping point . . . it's a long story. Much of this is for my own memory as it is for anyone else's knowledge. Amongst all the chaos of the last three months, I do not want to loose my appreciation for how this all came to be. Writing it down made it real, made it tangible. My heart beats just a little bit faster as I realize how much God has done for me and how evident His presence remains. It's a miracle.

cornish game hen.

noreply@blogger.com (Joshua Stockstill) — Thu, 02 Sep 2010 19:27:00 +0000

I've just placed my first Cornish Game Hen in the crock pot after broiling it for 30 minutes in the oven. When Kelly leaves for six days, this sort of thing happens. I get creative and set goals for myself. Creativity in the kitchen can be dangerous for someone who is better at scrubbing food out of pans than cooking food in them. This week's goal: Eat everything in the kitchen that is more than 3 months old.

Some things are going to be easier than others to get through. Dinty Moore Beef Stew left over from a hike in January: Tasty. Two boxes of left over graham crackers from camping: stale and bland. The graham crackers wouldn't be so bad had we not fasted sweets and deserts for the month . . . a graham cracker, regardless of its age, can always make a good s'more. I've basically been eating the things that Kelly and I have avoided the last couple of months

Because of "From Garden to City," I've been diving into the Old Testament. Not that I have avoided it like old food, but the Old Testament is a harsher read than the Gospels. After reading Kings, I felt a little guilty that I have not destroyed any pagan shrines. But the Old Testament is also full of promise . . . and I love God's promise. Those promises prepare my soul for the ground shaking news of the New Testament. How could we know just how awesome God is without knowing His love for us from the very beginning?

Moral of the Story: Sometimes you have to eat the old stuff to really make room for the new stuff.

Check out National Community Church's one year Bible reading plan at http://fromgardentocity.com/.

big fat doubter.

noreply@blogger.com (Joshua Stockstill) — Sat, 28 Aug 2010 20:52:00 +0000

About an hour ago, I was pretty angry. Now, I am just a little angry, but at least I am starting to see humor in the anger.

The other day Kelly and I were watching The Prince of Egypt by Dreamworks. John Accuff says I can use 'the other day' for any date up to three years in the past, but this was really just last month. I love the movie because the music is awesome and who doesn't enjoy the story from Exodus.

Let's forget for a moment that God saved Moses as a baby and placed him in the Egyptian Palace. We are going to focus on Moses the Shepherd. Moses has what we will call a devine appointment with a burning bush. At that moment, he receives the ultimate gifts: God's presence and God's promise. I love that God's answer to insecurity and doubt is simple "I will be with you." (Exodus 3:12)

And, God's presence with Moses is unquestionable. The plagues were serious business. No man could block out the sun, but God does the unfathomable again and again. God was with Moses.

While Kelly and I watched the montage of plagues in The Prince of Egypt, I quietly thought, "Yeah, God is pretty awesome." Then we get to the scene where Pharaoh is chasing the Israelites toward the Red Sea. Fire is blazzing down from the sky to block the Egyptians, and still an expression of doubt crosses Moses' face. God is with you, without question, and you hesitate to lift your staff as instructed?

At least in the Bible, Moses is like "Yo peeps. Don't be afraid, God's got our back. Calm down." (It sounds a little more formal in the King James Version.) But in the movie, you see fear, hesitation, and doubt. To which I cried out, "Really! Really! God is with you! Fire is blazing down from the sky, and you doubt? Really?!?"

Now why is this prevelent to my anger issues today . . . Well, the thing is, I am a big fat doubter. God called me out of a career to be in His service. Yet, I doubted His provision. I don't like running into my own shortcoming. Who does though, right? I've got to start being honest. I do not have what it takes to make my protégé year successful, but God DOES!

I fully believe that our God can part the waters of the Red Sea. I believe that He can deliver miracle after miracle and wonder after wonder. So please, if you see me doubt'n feel free to yell out, "Really! Really! After every miracle in your life, you doubt? Really?!?"

north star.

noreply@blogger.com (Joshua Stockstill) — Sat, 14 Aug 2010 20:47:00 +0000

Hope everyone enjoys references to orienteering because they will be plentiful here. We spend most of our lives trying to find the right path or the right direction. We constantly search for signs that say 'almost there' or 'you are onto something.' So it makes sense that a blog about following God would include a lot of direction (in a very loose sense . . . I mean, we did lose our compass already).

Today, I realized just how solid the future feels. In September 2010, I begin the protégé program at National Community Church (NCC). It is the first step Kelly and I are taking toward a life in ministry. It is an INCREDIBLE opportunity, and we do not want to take this gift for granted. The next year is filled with uncertainty, but the ground has never felt more solid. It is crazy and beautiful.

By the suggestion of NCC's current Discipleship Protégé, it is important to have goals and dreams in mind when starting at NCC. I've found the task impossible, and I literally had a career in goal setting at the Congressional Award. I think part of the delay is my fear that I will miss something, overlook a huge opportunity, or mess up God's plan. So as I sit down to hash these goals out (again), I'll remember that God just won't let that happen. He has lit a path. I just have to follow.