making it fun

Happy Birthday

noreply@blogger.com (Just Me) — Fri, 24 May 2013 21:35:00 +0000

Today Princess is 9. 9. Can you believe it?? How'd that happen??

She is super. She is compassionate, kind, confident, smart and pretty awesome.

I cannot believe that G-d let me have the privilege of being her mother, it is greater gift than I could ever imagine.

Princess, you are so special, you are loved and cherished by so many.

A blessing in sadness and hope

noreply@blogger.com (Just Me) — Wed, 22 May 2013 22:17:00 +0000

I am sure like all of social media you have seen the story of Zach Sobiech. A teen who when down fighting- 'and didn't really lose'.

His story made me ugly cry at my computer

But it was wow. It was so uplifting, it blessed me in a way I did not know I did not know I needed to be blessed.

"You don't need to find out you're dying to start living"

Watching the video resonated with me in a deep soul crushing way, heart breaking, but most of all spirit lifting.

I wanted to share how amazing this kid was (and is- in heaven).

.But I thought about what I could do to help. You know when you need. to do something, a craving to do something to help in some small way. This, for now, may be all I can do, but for now here we are.

Maybe this song and video will bless you in a way that you don't know you need

Some celebrities lent their star power as a tribute to this remarkable young man.

LittleDude's Day

noreply@blogger.com (Just Me) — Mon, 20 May 2013 16:40:00 +0000

A day from the perspective of LittleDude

2:30 am wake up, briefly, just to ensure that I am still in the proper place, Mama and Dada's bed, closer to mama. Fuss a bit so Mama will snuggle me more.

5:43 am Suns UP! Time to get to get going! Dada takes me away from Mama. For some reason he thinks she does not want me to pull her hair- its so effective! Besides- we did not discuss the leaving Mama thing. Not cool man. Then he doesn't even feed me. He tries to cuddle. I have my standards. I cuddle with Mama and Mama only.

6:00 am Mama comes downstairs. Yay! It has been forever. I thought I'd never see her again. She gives me milky good sweet nectar of all that is good. She also gave me some breakfast of some sort. But the milky- that's the good stuff.

6:45 am I toddle around looking for something interesting, the cat does not think pulling her whiskers is fun. She runs away as soon as she sees me coming. One day I'll get her. At least the dogs like to play. I drive my cars.

7:00 am Brothers and Sisters are up. They can be fun, but mostly they bother me- they get in my way from knocking things down. While they eat, I eat my second breakfast- don't judge. I am a growing boy.

7:30 am Diaper time. I prefer to fill my pants in the morning. It makes Mama run around a little it is super funny. Great way to get her to blow on my belly.

8:00 am Look over what I need to do today. Its going to be busy! How am I going to manage to empty the plastic plate drawer and the sock basket AND the tupperware?

8:15 start on the socks. Take a handful toss and squeal! you cannot forget the squeal.

8:20 my arm is tired. Socks may look light but repetition is a killer. Go over to sister yank her hair. It is so funny.

8:30 Mama picks me up and takes me away. She gets out one of the carriers. OH I GET TO RIDE WITH MAMA! TIME TO GO ON HER BACK!

11:45 Not sure what happened- perfectly happy on Mama's back and the next thing I know I am waking up. Someone put something in my cup.

Lunch. Big kids have sandwiches. I have milky (YUMMERS!), some fruit, and yogurt.

Someone said "Park" I heard it. I know I did. I was not born yesterday. Hooray! We are going to the PARK! Now that I am a big boy and can walk I get to walk there by myself. I hope there is an open swing.

Swinging is awesome. Have you ever had an underdog? Its like swing peek-a-boo but better.

On to the sand. Must get sand in my hair I need a good exfoliation. The park by my house does not have the tasty sand, the tasty sand is at the sand box at the big park- there is no point in even eating this stuff.
I'm learning how to use a shovel- I am so big!!!

Slides are also fun. I can get to the top of them and go myself now. My big sister still likes to help though- and Mama catches me.

Who said we could go home? Why? There is still so much to do! The teeter totter! I need to drive the train. I express my displeasure. Loudly. Mama picks me up. She is so mean! We get home. I am still yelling. Oh milky- that sounds good, it makes everything better.

5:00 pm Seriously someone is messing with my drinks. Dada is home! I am so excited I can hardly contain myself with clapping and yelling.

5:45 Dinner. I love when we all are together. My sisters and brothers are so funny yelling and laughing at each other all the time.

6:45 Bathtime. Best part of the day. Splish splash, rubadubdub. LOVE IT.

7:15 Night-nights (its what we call pjs in our house) Mama gives me a massage with lotion and puts my night nights on me.

NOT READY FOR SLEEP YET

I get to go back downstairs and play some more. When it is time to go to sleep, I go with my Mama. She reads me a story (I love the Piggy Book) and then I have some milky and get comfy for sleep. Mama knows to pat my tummy when I lay across her.

It was a good day. I did not get everything done I wanted too the socks, the cabinet, the drawer, but I got to go to the park. One day I'll catch the person messing with my cup.

LittleDude

I am kinda surprised it took this long

noreply@blogger.com (Just Me) — Thu, 16 May 2013 00:29:00 +0000

I am open about my pole dancing. It empowers me as well as makes is a fabulous workout.

A friend of my daughter is trying to stir up trouble with other kids and adults by telling them I pole and how inappropriate it is.

My daughter knows that it is not in appropriate and is fabulous - but I am sorry she is dealing with a kid who wants to stir the pot.

I am not surprised it is happening- I am surprised that its happening in this way- with a kid.

Which complicates things. If it were an adult- I could address it with her, discussing the full details of what I do versus the 'inappropriate' things.

Why do babies hate sleep

noreply@blogger.com (Just Me) — Mon, 13 May 2013 02:16:00 +0000

Why do babies hate sleep?

Seriously? Why do they fight that crap so much-- who ever said sleep like a baby clearly never had one.

I take back every single time I fought sleep. Rocking, walking, nursing, singing.

Please note I am not a believer in cry it out- but damn if someone told me to go to sleep I'd be all over that. Instead- it is a hard won fight to bed with at least one child in bed at the start of the night and by the morning several more have joined which makes bed tetris with kids, pets, and parents. The kids of course wake up thrilled and excited and full of energy- where as my husband and I stagger out of bed looking at the sun wondering how Earth it could be morning already- yet my kids are charged and ready to go.

So why do babies (and kids) abhor sleep? And What in the heck can you do about it?

I end up just waiting them out- knowing at some point their little eyes will flutter shut after they become heavy.

Princess would go to sleep she just would go to sleep no questions know fuss. Stinky would sing to keep himself awake. Peas. What to say about Peas..... she thought (and thinks) that sleep is the end of the world. We tell her to listen to her body when it is tired (etc) and she says she 'can't hear her body' oh well. Pixie just needs to stop moving for 30 seconds to fall asleep. She moves and moves and moves.....but a few minutes of cuddles now she now goes to sleep. She used to need to nurse herself to sleep while sticking her her feet under my back. LittleDude snuggles and nurses to sleep while he places with his hair. Overnight he will scoot next too me to keep close.

But the question remains why the hatred of sleep?

Mama got very sick

noreply@blogger.com (Just Me) — Thu, 09 May 2013 17:37:00 +0000

You see last weekend, I had a blood clot in my brain- thankfully it was just a TIA and not a full stroke- but it it was blessing that it was not a stroke.

I don't really remember what happened. It is all kind of fuzzy. I remember not knowing where my two middle girls were (at my in laws). I couldn't figure out things basic things. Nothing made sense. There was a tub of flour on the table and I couldn't figure out why and it was very upsetting.

Somehow I called my husband. He realized there was an issue based on my slurring my speech and talking about things that made no sense what so ever. He wanted to me to give the phone to Princess so she could help. I- being stupid and not with it- refused. Arguing with me when like that was like arguing with 4 year old over ice cream. There was no reason.

At some point I had a glimpse of reason and decided to call 911.

My husband called my in laws to help, they arrived around the same time as the ambulance.

Everyone realized there was something seriously wrong.

I could not communicate with anyone. (thought I remember telling people things)
Apparently I had a facial droop, difference in strength and other signs of a brain issue.

At the hospital I had a a bunch of tests that I don't remember. I stayed overnight.

********************************************************************************

that being the story I wanted to have my kids tell about how they felt so other kids who have a family member experience a medical emergency can know they are not alone.

Princess -age 9-

I didn't know what was happening, I thought my mom might die. I tried to remember what to do. I was scared. When the police and the fire department came it was confusing there were too many people.

Stinky -age 6-

I was confused. I wished she would get all better. There were a lot of people here to help.

To say it was scary is and understatment

noreply@blogger.com (Just Me) — Mon, 06 May 2013 23:22:00 +0000

I was a little confused the other night. Not too unusual- I mean there are 40 people running in different directions in my house on any given day- slight confusion is par for the course.

After dinner though, the husband said something kind of weird. H said he was considering not going to work tomorrow because I was acting strange... I thought he had a screw loose. I was fine. Tired but fine.

The kids went to bed I dozed off the morning came. I had to help get 2 middle kids off to grandma and grandpa's because I was still recovering from surgery and taking it a little easier was a better bet.

This is where things get really fuzzy for me- or like non existent.

I remember asking Princess where the middle girls were. I had no recollection of them going to grandma and grandpas.

Nothing made sense. There was a container of flour on the table and I had no idea how it go there. That was really upsetting to me.

I could not type the passwords on my computer. The passwords I type everyday. I could not get my hands to work.

Some how I called H.I don't know how. I was slurring words and I had no idea. I had no idea about a lot of things. It is terrifying to not know things that you should know.

Where did my husband work? Whats his name? What month is it. Whats this callled. Squeeze my hands. Smile.

I had a facial droop and a difference in strength. Not good.

I was so tired. So agonizingly tired.

When we got to the ER I learned my my mother in law had gone with me. I had never been so happy to see a face I recognized.

Then again. I don't remember much I had some tests with ear plugs and something with a plastic thing over my head I have no idea.

Little by little I got things put together again. The doctors talked to me and explained a TIA- transient ischemic attack and told me I would stay the night and see an neurologist as well as my hemotologist to best manage this. There was nothing I was doing that caused this. There are some things that we can (and will do) do prevent this again.

For something I do not remember it is terrifying. To know it could have ended worse; it is horrifying.

For the fact that it ended positively I am exceedingly thankful. I have so much to express thankfulness for I will never be able to list them all.. Seeing, knowing, hugging my family is at the top of the list. It could be gone in the blink of an eye.

Thank G-d.

Pinterest is AWESOME

noreply@blogger.com (Just Me) — Mon, 29 Apr 2013 01:12:00 +0000

I love Pinterest. I have mad crazy love for it. I can spend hours on it. Pinning and hoping and getting excited about birthday parties I'll never have or a home that the closest I will come to is Pinterest boards.

The pallet gardens are wonderful the home improvement are amazing. There are life hacks that I cannot believe I did not think of ever but make like easier by massive amounts. The fashion ideas are awesome (especially for this walking fashion disaster)

Despite this I rarely try these ideas. I am terrified of failure. I don't often try new things in my life aside from Pinterest because I am scared I'll suck and get made fun of (either in my head or in real life) so my boards get full and many things remain untried.

Like painting my living room. I would love to paint the trim and the walls but I am to scared to do it, I have never painted anything aside from a picture- and I don't want to get yelled at or feel stupid. So the walls remain unchanged.

But how do I a) move on from that, and b) not pass this to my kids?

Any advice is greatly appreciated.

when you walk into my house

noreply@blogger.com (Just Me) — Thu, 25 Apr 2013 16:24:00 +0000

It will not be clean.
It will not be dust free-- in fact there may be dust monsters rolling about
It will not be organized
The counters will be cluttered
There will be toys everywhere
There will be people everywhere
There will be noise

But there will be joy.
There will be laughter (and occasional screaming)
There will be art projects proudly displayed.

There will be kids who believe the world is their oyster. There will be parents who love. There will be grandparents who love. There will be great grand parents who love.

Our home is full.. Bursting at the seams.
Full of life. Full of learning. Full of love.

Feminism or a hate group

noreply@blogger.com (Just Me) — Sun, 21 Apr 2013 16:45:00 +0000

Full disclosure I am edit and revise this post as my thoughts evolve.

I have been a self proclaimed feminist and always kind of wondered why there were 'man hating' segments of that group.

Laurie A Couture pointed out that feminism has a propensity to disregard, intentionally the needs of other groups. And after many hours thinking about it- I came to the conclusion that that is true. This is by no means to say that I think that all is hunky dory and whatever, just that by forwarding the agenda of one social group we are by default neglecting and in a way subjecting them to violence-- not always physical violence but mental and emotional- which can be just as damaging.

Here is were I am struggling: women, African Americans, Jews, Native Americans etc have all been oppressed as individual groups throughout history. Each of these groups have amazing and powerful histories to tell and have amazing cultures to share- I am eager to learn as much about every culture I can get myself and my children exposed to.

But as long as we as a society define success as doing well in school, business, having the best house etc how can we expect those groups that have been started so far behind the starting line of white privilege? Change the definition of success? I am all for that.

But what about the drug and gang culture? How can we end that? I firmly feel that secure- trusted attachment and engaging unschooling is the best deterrent to that- rather than great schools.

Back to my point. Feminism can be considered a hate group when taken at is source. When feminism neglects that ALL people are worthy that ALL people are deserving then it becomes a hate group. When we realize that be being people. By being human makes us equal. I am not equal to a man because I am a woman- I am equal to another human because I am human.

We teach our daughters to be modest and not get raped we teach our sons to be gentlemen. But we neglect to teach our daughters to not rape. Girls can be sexually aggressive too. But boys often feel like they can't report it- it wouldn't be manly. What a tragedy for their sensitive souls and hearts. Boys in fact are probably the recipients of most sexual violence and domestic violence- and then they are punished for it. It makes no sense.

Laurie Couture, one of my parenting mentors and smartest women I know is a wonderful advocate for young boys, I can only hope to follow in her footsteps to help save and protect young boys and men. Her son is a shining example of a compassionate, smart, empathic young man.

Dayna Martin, another mentor and amazing woman is a mother to an amazing unschooled family and she is a daily inspiration of compassion, advocacy, and light.

There is a lot more to say on this but my pain meds are kicking in so I will be done now.

for the love of G-d do not use antibacterial products

noreply@blogger.com (Just Me) — Mon, 15 Apr 2013 04:53:00 +0000

Antibacterial stuff has been all the rage. And it sucks. I get it though no one wants to get sick. Everyone wants to protect their kids but it does more harm than good- good old soap and water is good enough- also for please for heaven's sake use antibiotics properly.

I have just had an epic battle with a bacterial infection that was resistant to all but 2 antibiotics- if it became resistant to those 2 I would really be up shit creek.

See what happens is this you have a large group of bacteria which are roughly susceptible to the same antibiotics. You use them and one or two may develop a resistance. Those one or two multiply and then require a stronger antibiotic. Cycle repeats.

Then we have all of these resistant bacteria with limited options to treat them. This use to happen only occasionally because antibiotics were more judiciousness used now they are given for everything, and at home people are using antibacterial soaps and wipes and cleaners which are doing more harm than good leading to more and more resistant strains of bacteria that are harder and harder to treat.

I had to have a PICC line placed- a peripherally inserted central catheter- and IV that went from a deep vein in my arm and threaded through to my heart to receive IV antibiotics at home via IV for a few weeks to treat a bacteria that should have been easily dealt with- but it had developed resistance to all but to antibiotics.

So please stop contributing to the increase in resistant strains of bacteria. If you do get prescribed antibiotics finish the course. Take them as directed.

Let me wallow for a moment

noreply@blogger.com (Just Me) — Sun, 14 Apr 2013 01:29:00 +0000

I am still in the hospital. Still. It has been forever.

I am having a hard time explaining how I am feeling- but it is not good. I miss my kids. I miss my kids so much it hurts.

What if LittleDude does not love me as much? What if he has forgotten me? Ugh What if our attachment has been disrupted?

I miss laying down and cuddling with him an snuggling with my kids. Watching them sleep: the funny muscle twitches. The sweet snoring. Their dreams.

Not knowing my kids is terrifying. I love knowing their passions. Knowing their hearts. What if I don't any more? How do I get that back?

Annoyances is the hospital

noreply@blogger.com (Just Me) — Thu, 11 Apr 2013 22:26:00 +0000

I am no stranger to hospital, and guess what I am in the hospital again. And I am crabby.

After a drastic increase in pain I had to go to the ER and was met with the least compassionate nurse I believe I have ever had the misfortune of meeting.

Sure, a lot of people are not well versed in their medical and health needs, but unfortunately (or fortunately) I am.

She was condescending and just rude to B and I. We came to the ER because I couldn't bear the pain and I could not pee. She was very unkind regarding my pain and generally quite cold.

I was admitted as I was bleeding quite badly I had to be admitted. The first nurse on the floor was no kinder.

Believe it or not- as someone who has had a decent medical history- I know my body. I know my limits. If I say something is not is not right- please believe me.

Please understand that minutes seem like hours when in pain.
Please try and respect my dignity
Please try and respect my modesty
Please try and give me the benefit of the doubt
Please at least discuss my options with me- if there is something that is unpleasant and I am hesitant.

I have also had some of the best caretakers ever. Some of the most amazing RNs and wonderful people who deserve a huge amount of respect and appreciation.

Life wifh a PICC in the arm

noreply@blogger.com (Just Me) — Wed, 03 Apr 2013 14:55:00 +0000

I guess I am sick. I guess I am really sick. Not the kind of sick where tea and a hot bath will help.

I have a massive kidney infection (which I do not feel sick from oddly enough). But the bacteria causing it is resistant to everything with the exception of 2 antibiotics- I had never heard of them until now. Both of these antibiotics are IV only.

So yesterday I had a PICC line placed. A PICC line is a peripherally inserted central catheter. It is inserted in the upper arm in a deep vein and threaded through to my superior vena cava.

The PICC is inserted using ultrasound guidance, and despite numbing medicine is not a pleasant experience.

After I had the PICC placed an xray was taken to verify the positioning of the line.

Having this procedure was kinda scary, there are risks that are exacerbated for me- particularly the danger of a clot- so I was put on anticoagulants- but I am having surgery Friday. It is all a delicate balance.

The home health nurse came last night and taught my husband and I how to work the pump and how to care for my PICC line.

Today, it is ok. The pulling and tugging feeling has stopped. The challenges as I foresee them will be not forgetting my very fashionable fanny pack, not having a kid yank on it, not having LittleDude chew a hole in the tubing.

Having a nurse who's name tag says "Hospice" care in the house helping me learn the pump was very disconcerting and not all helping my case of nerves for my surgery.

I will have a good attitude though. If I have crappy one, everyone will suffer. There are worse things.

Leave my kids alone, thanks!

noreply@blogger.com (Just Me) — Wed, 27 Mar 2013 23:12:00 +0000

I took my kids to the zoo today with some friends- while there we stopped at a playground and some lady was hanging around Pixie watching to make sure she did not fall.

I tend towards the more attachment parenting, natural consequences, free range parenting.

Pixie- is a very competent kid. She can climb almost anything. I call her my mountain goat. She is confident in her abilities and is surprisingly skilled! But she would not have gotten that way had I hovered over her.

Pixie was, quite capably, climbing up a climbing wall to a play structure. Sure, they have fallen, skinned knees, bruises and a little banged up. She has however learned her limits. She has learned she is capable.

I was watching- from the side though, if she needed me, I would be there.

Pixie can do all of these things because no one has told her she 'can't' You'd be amazed what kids can do when you let them.

Natural consequences allows her to learn a cause and effect relationship of her choices and it gives her a sense of efficacy in her world.

This woman though was just shadowing her. I understand it was coming from a place of concern. Is there a polite way to say something?

Lost: One Little Girl

noreply@blogger.com (Just Me) — Wed, 27 Mar 2013 17:17:00 +0000

The other day, I looked at Princess. She is not the little girl that she was. Smart. Compassionate. Brave. Strong. She is pretty. Tall. Graceful (sometimes).

Sometime in the past 8.5 years (almost 9) she has gone from being a 3 lb peanut to an amazing girl.

How I am teaching my children (boys and girls) to not rape

noreply@blogger.com (Just Me) — Mon, 25 Mar 2013 15:12:00 +0000

Did I say boys and girls?? Yes. Girls can be sexually aggressive and abusive too- and often are- boys just are expected to take it willingly and even like it.

So yes. I am teaching my children to not rape--- and not be raped.

I protect them from being assaulted- well duh. Take this a step further. I respect their boundaries and advocate for them when others aren't.

I respect them- and treat them with respect and kindness.

This means: I will not make my child hug, go by, be held by, kiss, or have their boundaries invaded. One time I had to reschedule an appointment because my child did not want to be examined by the doctor- as there was no urgent need- he was not terribly sick- we just rescheduled. Why? Because if I do not respect his boundaries how can he learn to expect anyone else to?

I show them real affection. If they know what real affection is like they are less likely to mistake it.

I respect their autonomy. It is their body. Not mine. With few exceptions, their body their choices. My girls choose their clothes, hair color, length etc- same with my boys.

I am open with them. If they are old enough to ask a question, they are old enough to get an answer.

I will always be their safe place to fall.

Because when they speak up to me and others they are listened to and respected they can learn to expect to be listened to. I can and do teach them to advocate for themselves and get out of situations that are unhealthy.

Because they have the self confidence to do this, and have been treated with kindness, love and respect, they treat others that way.

hurt feelings

noreply@blogger.com (Just Me) — Sun, 24 Mar 2013 23:35:00 +0000

Lately, I have been noticing that I have had my feelings hurt a lot more. Could I be getting more sensitive?

Not feelings crushed hurt- but feelings of exclusion and "ouch- that stung".

Do you get your feelings bruised? Do you take it up with the person? Brush it off? Have a less than mature passive aggressive attitude? I am unsure in these waters, and need advice.

I mean, as much as it would be awesome, I can't just stomp my foot and storm off in a huff. a) it is hard to do on facebook- the foot stomping loses something in the text b) with my luck I'd step on a lego c) stomping off is not the most mature way of dealing.

For Goodness sake. I am 31 years old- I thought the stupid hurt feelings things would be long gone by now. My 8 year old can fight with her friend over cursive writing and its normal- me getting ruffled feathers over an insignificant thing is not so ok.

Parenting can throw you for a loop!

noreply@blogger.com (Just Me) — Fri, 22 Mar 2013 20:42:00 +0000

Being the mom of five littles- most things are no big deal. I have learned that every owie is not the end of the world. I don't have to hover over my kids to keep them safe.

Then sometimes something happens over which I have no control- an they have no control either, which makes it exceptionally overwhelming.

That happen the other day. It threw me for quite the loop. Worse- it was in an area in which i am not well versed.

In the end- there is help available for stinky and all will be fine. We are just taking a slightly different path to 'fine' than I had planned.

That's what it is all about right? Being able to adapt, adjust, regroup and deal? We all want our kids to learn those skills- teach your kids by showing them these skills in action.

Pixie Perspective

noreply@blogger.com (Just Me) — Thu, 21 Mar 2013 19:59:00 +0000

Pixie may be petite but there is nothing petite about her personality.

She lets no one push her around. She does what she wants when she wants and she has a killer sense of humor.

Pixie- is also extremely compassionate. When LittleDude is upset she will sing to him, give him kisses, or tackle him in a full body hug.

She loves to paint. She loves to jump. She can bring brightness to any day. Pixie- is quite the dare devil.

A few weeks ago she had her head stitched up because she was playing "Brave" and she was Merida and ran straight into a table. Despite the copious blood, she was brave- just like Merida.

And no, she has not stopped running in the house.

Day before yesterday she was climbing up the stairs on the 3 in- on the OTHER side of the railing. Balencing perilously above a several ft fall onto more stairs. She said "thats okay mama, my muscles are strong"

What a character. I have to wonder what the work looks like from her perspective. One big game to play? Lots of friends to make? A giant jungle gym? Three year old kids are kind of magical that way.

compassionate peas

noreply@blogger.com (Just Me) — Mon, 18 Mar 2013 18:07:00 +0000

Peas is pretty sensitive and compassionate. For a 5 year old she displays shocking empathy.

She also worries a lot. When I was pregnant with LittleDude she was terrified. She believed that we would be getting rid of Pixie and getting a new baby. It took her a while to realize that we would not get rid of anyone- we were just adding a new baby to our family. Once she got that she was exc suited and happy again.

I had wrist surgery to try and fix my wrist and she was so scared that the doctor would cut off my arm. Peas was so relieved to see I had both arms when I got home.

It must have been so scary for her to worry about those things. I am glad that she could tell me though and trust me to help reassure her.

are you a feminist?

noreply@blogger.com (Just Me) — Sun, 03 Mar 2013 22:51:00 +0000

I had an interesting conversation with a man in my life today. I asked him if he considered himself a feminist. (I totally expected the answer to be yes). He shocked me. He said no, he was not a feminist as he was not a woman. (I had to restrain myself from killing him).

It dawned on me, maybe we had different ideas of what it means to be a feminist. I clarified, "do you think that women deserve all of the same rights and protections under the law as men" he said "yah" - like I was an idiot.

Ladies and gentlemen, there are wingnuts in every school of thought but the basic premise of feminist thinking is that women are people and equal. Shocking huh? Of course this can be expanded upon but that is where a lot of grey area occurs and disagreements happening. This made me happy and sad at the same time. Happy- because a person believed that the notion of women as people idea was fundamental. Sad because a man would not want to label himself a feminist because he is not a woman- that there is still the belief that feminists are vagina monsters laying in wait to emasculate men (I am sure there are these people, but they are not the majority of feminists).

I am not a LGBT person, but i fully support the idea that they, being, people, are entitled to equal rights and protection under the law. Just because you are not a member of a group, does not preclude you from supporting them. So to that man--- hate to break it to you- you are feminist.

Pixie Gets Air

noreply@blogger.com (Just Me) — Wed, 27 Feb 2013 15:00:00 +0000

We love the outside in our house, summer, winter, fall, or spring- someone is outside.

Peas and I were cleaning and we looked out the window, it was snowing such big flakes it was as if snowballs were falling from the sky. Peas said we HAD to go out and play. So we did. LittleDude thankfully is quite the trooper and fits in well with our love of the outdoors.

I had a doctors appointment in the city so after driving downtown and back for that, we ate dinner and then went sledding.

Some kids had built a snow 'jump' on the hill-- basically a pile of snow to sled up and fly off of. Princess and Stinky of course did it and loved it. Peas preferred to go down the hill super fast- spinning. Pixie decided she want to try the jump.

Pixie is no shrinking violet, but I did not think she would like it, it looked very jarring- but what the heck. She did it, and she loved it. She got quite a bit of air. I was really surprised!

Somehow she managed to hold on to the sled and go down the rest of the hill- something that took the big kids a few tries to do. When she slid to a stop she popped off the sled jumped up and down and screamed so everyone could hear her- she did it herself- then jumped some more and ran in a circle and up the hill to do it again. and again. and again. When we needed to go home she said no and ran the other way. It really is quite a pity she has no fun (sarcasm).

How to parent when dealing with pain

noreply@blogger.com (Just Me) — Wed, 27 Feb 2013 03:38:00 +0000

I don't know if you have missed me. But I have missed writing.

Pain has been back in a big way. My kidney has been causing me severe pain.

Last Thursday it was at its peak for me and I went to the ER. I ended up having emergency surgery to relieve the pressure in my kidney. A stent was put in and antibiotics started. I hoped the antibiotics and the stent would set me right again.

It didn't work. My pain level skyrocketed. My normal routine of pain meds were not touching my pain, with all of the pain my kids were getting the really short end of the stick in a crabby tired mommy who had no energy for anything. Things that I would normally laugh at sent me into a rage. It was unfair for them and depressing for me.

My stent was removed yesterday, as it had become occluded and prevented my kidney from draining. But the pain continued, worsened even. Enough pain that I again considered the ER- in the end I sat in a tub of hot water and practiced breathing techniques.

This morning the pain is much better, not gone but good enough I felt like I could move without screaming. We even went outside!

Which brings me to managing to parent when you are in serious pain. It stinks but it is a fact of life for so many of us.

Parenting is hard enough. Adding pain or illness too it just ups the difficulty level by a factor of 100.
It is not all bad though. Kids can learn that we need to work as a team, that empathy is important, and that parents make mistakes too.

I run out of patience so much faster when in pain. I know I have said things I do not mean to my children when I hurt. It doesn't take back what I said but I apologize to them- they at least can understand that I am admitting I was wrong and I am sorry I hurt their feelings.

Children can be very caring individuals. They want to make their friends and family feel better. My kids make up some wonderful songs to cheer me up and draw amazing pictures. Let them be a part of helping you feel better- even if it is matching socks- it is one less thing for you to do.

Teamwork is an important life lesson to learn in general. In our family we all work together. If we are working against each other nothing would ever get done. By working together and helping each other we can do more that we could imagine.

first crushes

noreply@blogger.com (Just Me) — Wed, 13 Feb 2013 04:55:00 +0000

Princess has a crush. I am fortunate enough that she has let me in on this little secret. I will respect her privacy and not tell who it is on.

I cannot believe that this is where she is at already. That she has gone from diapers to first crushes. It makes my stomach get all fluttery.

My first thought was, "Oh Sh*t!!!! Already??" then a while later (like hours) after I had been stewing over my sweet innocent child- I realized that I was 8 when I had my first crush too.

I would have died rather than tell my parents- so I hope her telling me-- willingly is a sign of an open, trusting, and honest relationship with her.

This is unnerving territory for me. I am not sure how to navigate these waters. What I do know, is that I love her, I respect her, I will not shame or humiliate her. She is a smart, brave, courageous, authentic, amazing girl.