Life and Music

A post at last! Pandemic-induced

2020-03-26T13:45:00.003-06:00

So anyone who knows me or has followed me on Facebook for a while knows that I am kind of big into natural/alternative medicine, home remedies for ailments, etc. I am definitely a believer in modern medicine and am so grateful for it, as well, and all the miracles it produces -- but I do believe many times simple answers and available remedies are not utilized by Western Medicine or the pharmaceutical companies simply because there is not enough money to be made on them. I also know that sometimes these alternative remedies can work just as well -- or better -- than what official Western Medicine has to offer.

Right now, in response to this global pandemic, Western medicine unfortunately has very little to offer us. Oxygen and a ventilator are our best bets (if any are available once we get that far), after the disease progresses to a certain point.

However, I do not believe that the only thing we have power to do against this virus is sit here and wait for it to pass, hoping it will not find us in our houses, or to just sit and wait for the government or CDC or FDA to create, proclaim and approve a cure, or to wait and not do anything for ourselves until our situation is so bad we need emergency medical care. I think there are treatments we could help ourselves and our loved ones with at home that could, in many cases, prevent the disease from getting that bad. While we are all bunkered up in our homes, I think it would be of great advantage to all of us to read and study about some of the wonderful natural antivirals and treatments out there, many of which have been studied and documented-- and to obtain them, as we can, for our medicine cabinets. I am not talking about Theraflu, painkillers, Nyquil, cough syrup, or any of the typical medicines you find at the drug store. Those treat the symptoms of a virus. Even administering oxygen and attaching a person to a respirator in the emergency room is still only treating only the symptoms of a virus. I am talking about substances that actually have the potential to kill the virus, or greatly inhibit it, so that it cannot so easily overpower us -- and I would like to share a couple of things that have helped me and that I think could possibly help others.

Recently I actually acquired something that I believe might have been Coronavirus (being in the Bay area and with my professions this is unfortunately not terribly unlikely). I had a sore throat for about a week, which turned into tightness in my lungs, and a very mild cough. This went on for about three days, and then all of the sudden one night around 2am I felt like I couldn’t get enough oxygen. My hands and knees were shaking, I was cold and shivering, and had a low fever of 99.3. It was genuinely frightening, and I am not supposed to be in a particularly at-risk age group. This was around Sunday or Monday of last week.

My mom had sent me some colloidal copper, (10ppm) some time ago, and had suggested that I use it in a nebulizer for any kind of lung infection. I hadn’t known about this until my mom told me, but copper kills viruses and bacteria on contact, including the coronavirus: https://www.sciencedaily.com/releas…/2015/…/151110102147.htm .
I also have successfully used a saline solution many times before to help treat cold and coughs with the nebulizer.

For those who don't know, a nebulizer is a medical device which turns liquid solutions into a vapor that you can inhale into your lungs. There are two basic types- a compressor (or jet) nebulizer, and a ultrasonic (or mesh) nebulizer. The compressor works by pushing air through the liquid to make vapor, and the ultrasonic nebulizer makes vapor by vibrating the liquid at a very high frequency. I have used both kinds and they both work well. I have been using nebulizers since I was 4 or 5 years old, originally for asthma treatments. More recently I have discovered the amazing benefits of nebulizing other substances for treating colds, flus, viral infections, and anything that affects the airways/lungs. The virtue of this kind of treatment is that you can apply the medical solution full-strength DIRECTLY to the lungs at the site of the infection, thus hitting the virus directly with the solution/medication - versus ingesting a medication and it taking quite a while for it to reach your lungs, while perhaps also getting diluted before it reaches your lungs or transformed/digested into a form which would no longer be viable as an anti-viral. Using the nebulizer along with gargles and a neti-pot in recent years has reduced my need for over-the-counter drugs when I have a cold or flu to literally almost zero.

So - when I was all of the sudden feeling like I couldn’t breathe last week, I made a saline solution of:
1 cup distilled or boiled and cooled water
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/4 teaspoon baking soda
I put 1 1/2 to 2 teaspoons of this mixture in the nebulizer and nebulized (inhaled the vapors) for about 20 minutes.
Salt and baking soda both have anti-viral/virus-inhibiting properties. Salt helps your body create hypochlorous acid to kill viruses, and baking soda has an alkalizing effect that is unfriendly to viruses as well (links to some research below). They both also have a soothing/drawing effect on the liquids in your lungs and help loosen phlegm.

If you make this solution, be sure to only add the baking soda to the water once it has been cooled, and do not heat the water once the baking soda has been added. Heating the baking soda causes a chemical reaction in the baking soda which will transform it into something else that is irritating (I know from experience).

Immediately after nebulizing the saline solution for 20 minutes, I then put 1 1/2 to 2 teaspoons of 10ppm colloidal copper in the nebulizer and nebulized that another 20 minutes.
Within 20-30 minutes of this treatment I started to be able to breathe again, felt like I was getting enough oxygen again and I went to sleep. I have been doing this treatment twice a day (morning and night) since, and my lungs and energy are gradually improving, and I have not had any more shortness of breath episodes..

I would advise everyone to get a nebulizer and colloidal copper (10ppm colloidal silver might work too – though this recent study showed significant growth inhibition for bacteria but not viruses in colloidal silver https://www.liebertpub.com/doi/10.1089/acm.2011.0681) , and make a salt/baking soda solution to keep in the cabinet in advance of catching this thing, because when it hits (if this is what I had), it hits hard and all of the sudden, and suddenly you feel like there is no time.

If you cannot obtain a medical nebulizer in time, you could also use a diffuser, vaporizer, mister, or cool mist humidifier, or anything that creates a fine vapor without heating the solution (heating the liquid to create vapor removes most of the minerals). Just put your face/mouth directly in the stream of vapor of whatever device you have. You might have to put a larger amount of solution in a device that is not a medical nebulizer (because most of them won’t work with just a teaspoon or two of liquid in them), and just turn it off after you are done nebulizing for 15-20 minutes and turn it on again for your next treatment.

If someone is very sick, nebulizing more often would be appropriate/necessary. 20 minutes of nebulizing every hour (ten minutes each solution), or 10 minutes of nebulizing every 15-20 minutes (5 minutes each) are possibilities, but can be varied as needed. When my daughter had a very bad croup last year the only thing that helped to keep that terrible cough down was nebulizing saline /baking soda solution every hour for 20 minutes.

Also, I have a friend in L.A. that I sent a nebulizer to a while ago. He told me he had been feeling something in his lungs for a few days. He only had H2O2 (3% hydrogen peroxide) on hand so I told him he could try nebulizing some of that (The CDC itself states that 3% Hydrogen Peroxide kills the Covid-19 virus: https://www.epa.gov/…/list-n-disinfectants-use-against-sars… ). He did that for 10 minutes 3 times over the next 2 days and it went away (make sure you do not get anything stronger than 3% or you could injure yourself). I have used hydrogen peroxide before numerous times as well and it does really help clear up my lungs, however I personally don’t like it because it makes me lose my voice, BUT I would definitely do it vs. not getting enough air and having a virus take over my lungs! I might also try it in alternating with other solutions in the nebulizer. Hydrogen peroxide also fizzes and converts partly to oxygen in your lungs so I believe it could help deliver oxygen directly into your lung tissues. It is harsher than copper though, as it’s a fairly strong acid, and I don’t think you would want to use it for extended periods of time because it might start to burn your lungs over time. So I recommend getting copper. Actually I’d recommend having both - in case you find one is working better for you than the other!

Also, if you were to use copper on a baby, child, or someone else very sensitive or weak, I would probably try mixing the copper and saline mixture together in equal parts, as the copper has a tendency to be a little irritating at the beginning of nebulizing and makes me cough a bit until my lungs adjust. For a baby or sensitive person this might be too much, and the saline solution helps to buffer it.

Also, do not use an enclosed mask (especially on a baby or someone who cannot communicate) with the saline solution. Hold it an inch or so away from the face or the salt condensates/crystallizes on the skin around the mouth and is also very irritating.

My mom helped care for my brother Andy when he was in the hospital with a collapsed lung and a very bad MRSA (antibiotic-resistant staph) infection. She had him nebulizing all sorts of antimicrobial natural remedies including copper- and I doubt if he would be alive today without all those alternative treatments, in addition to the emergency care and surgery he received at the hospital.

So, let's take advantage of ALL we have available to us -- every herb and mineral and good thing God has given us on this earth - and throw EVERYTHING we’ve got at this virus, because that’s what it’s going to take. The hospitals will not be enough.

Below are links to some research showing these substances kill or inhibit viruses and/or reduce virus load in a sick person:

SALT:
https://www.dailymail.co.uk/…/Gargling-salt-water-cure-comm…

COPPER:
https://www.fastcompany.com/…/copper-kills-coronavirus-why-…

https://www.sciencedaily.com/releas…/2015/…/151110102147.htm

BAKING SODA
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/12017929

https://www.researchgate.net/…/7238863_Virucidal_efficacy_o…

HYDROGEN PEROXIDE (CDC itself says 3% H2O2 kills coronavirus):
https://www.consumerreports.org/…/common-household-product…/

https://www.epa.gov/…/list-n-disinfectants-use-against-sars…

Also here is a link to a wonderful website called Earth Clinic, which I consult often, and I just posted my nebulizing info there as well: earthclinic.com
It has many other suggested anti-virals as well which I haven’t tried but many people vouch for and which have been studied - including things like olive leaf, L-lysine, etc. and lots more info about inhaling hydrogen peroxide for various ailments, etc.

Please let me know if you have any positive results with any of these!

Also, you can buy nebulizers online pretty inexpensively right now, on Amazon, Ebay, and other retailers (especially medical retailers).

Ultrasonic nebulizer:

https://www.ebay.com/itm/Portable-Ultrasonic-Mini-Nebulizer-Inhaler-Machine-Children-Adult-Kids-Handheld/164038922892?_trkparms=aid%3D111001%26algo%3DREC.SEED%26ao%3D1%26asc%3D20180105095853%26meid%3D6b713874891d49e3a7a6bf52c2dfc1ca%26pid%3D100903%26rk%3D1%26rkt%3D20%26mehot%3Dpp%26sd%3D164038922892%26itm%3D164038922892%26pmt%3D1%26noa%3D1%26pg%3D2510209&_trksid=p2510209.c100903.m5276

Here are some compressor models:

https://www.thecpapshop.com/respironics-innospire-essence-nebulizer-system?utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&adpos=&scid=scplp1099966&sc_intid=1099966&gclid=Cj0KCQjwpfHzBRCiARIsAHHzyZp2g_cjDxEWLeDiIRerJNxG8C8a3GuAXAsPPbJZ_4Lw0PABT7A7q_kaAkoIEALw_wcB

https://www.ebay.com/itm/Portable-Compact-Compressor-Atomizer-with-Filter-Mask

https://www.ebay.com/itm/DeVilbiss-Traveler-Portable-Nebulizer

Here is a non-electric (hand-pump) model:

https://www.ebay.com/itm/NEW-DeVilbiss-Model-45-Hand-Held-Aerosol-Nebulizer

May our world and all of us be blessed with health and healing - in our bodies, our lands, and our hearts!

Back Online

2018-05-08T02:35:00.000-06:00

SO...

It has been a looooong time since I posted on my blog. A very long time.

Life got... intense.

And I had a baby.

Now I'm a single mom (something I would not have imagined for myself before!).

And life is beautiful. And difficult, and sweet.

I'm waking up to a new me, a new view, a new sense of myself and the world around me.

I'm remembering myself, coming back to myself, and finding myself anew, by both gathering my past together, and reaching out toward my future at the same time.

This is me. I am Jackie.

And now I have a little Rose. She is so precious.

This is her:

And this is us:

(Thank you to Tibor Szabo for the pictures.)

We are struggling to make our way in San Francisco, the city I love! I hope we can stay here for a while, if not forever, provided I can start devoting my time to my music again. Ever since I got out of school I've kind of just been scrambling to find a way to live, a place to live, then looking for a better place to live, finding work, recruiting students, teaching more, teaching more, and more...

But I think it's time for something new! And I definitely have something (a little someone!) new, and I want more...

We will get there, we will. This is just the beginning.

So, I'm back. And it's time to start playing again. And singing again. Writing again, posting again.

Here we are, Friends! Here we come, World !

Dvorak Quintet

2014-12-21T21:56:00.001-07:00

Here's a recording of the first movement of Dvorak's Piano Quintet in A Major, which I recording with my chamber music group for a class I took during my first semester at SFCM. I may post the other movements as well. I did a little audio engineering on this recording to bring the sound forward a bit, because it sounded kind of muffled before.

The Grind

2014-11-24T04:18:00.000-07:00

Life is tough, you know? You work and work and work and somehow the work is never finished, which I guess is a good thing, because if we didn't have anything to work for, how interesting would life be? But sometimes it does get a little tiring.

It has been a long time since I have posted. My life lately has been a bit monotonous. Not boring, but not necessarily a lot to post about. Teaching, biking around San Francisco, teaching, eating, taking the bus, teaching some more.

I did have a recording session, however, a couple of weeks ago. Now I need to make the editing list for the audio files so that the recording engineer and I can splice them together to create a finished product. It's a religious song that one of my local church leaders has been encouraging me to produce, and I finally scheduled the recording session and did it. So I will be posting that within a few weeks. It still is very much in the raw stage right now though.

I'm applying for a teaching position at a university near here. We will see how that turns out.

In the meantime...just sitting tight, waiting until the time is right...to try something new. . . . . . .

San Francisco

2014-11-24T04:15:00.001-07:00

From my last trip to Montana..... Just a little view from my airplane window.

A new life

2014-07-16T02:36:00.001-06:00

So my new life has begun....and new music! I have moved in with a family I know from church who is renting me a spare room in their apartment. The room is very small, but the rent is very cheap for San Francisco, and I am so happy to have a window that lets sunlight in (much better than the dark little dorm rooms where I have spent three whole years of my life!). I got myself a loft bed to help save some space:

I have started teaching quite a bit (I have about 20 students now), and practicing piano again! I have a couple of projects I am planning...and hopefully in a few months I will have some new music to post.

I also started taking some classes in audio engineering and music production at San Francisco State University. Tonight I had a test and a big recording session for our group project in my Intro to Recording Class. I am excited about learning more about all of that.

Tomorrow I teach a lesson at 8:45am, so I am going to go and get a little sleep.

Sorry such quick update after such a long break... I will post again soon. Bye for now....

Almost over...

2014-05-12T23:31:00.000-06:00

Friday I finished my last day of classes at the conservatory. I almost can't believe it. I feel like all of the sudden space has opened up before me... and I am about to walk into a meadow full of blooming flowers. I am so happy to be done! Aaaaaaaaaaaa!

Wednesday I have my very last performance as a student at the conservatory... my "Exit Evaluation", which I have to do for the voice faculty. I only have to sing one song for them, of my choosing.

And then what?! I have been collecting a few students, and I will continue to gather some more so that maybe I can manage to eek out a living here in this big city. I think that I may have found a place to live...so soon I will move out of this dormitory (it's hard to believe that I will have spent almost three years of my life here!!!).

And now...sleep....

Recital Done!!!

2014-05-02T04:12:00.002-06:00

Wheeewwww! Tonight I gave my final Graduate Vocal Recital at the San Francisco Conservatory of Music. It went pretty well, overall. That is the last major hurdle I have to overcome before I graduate. I have a few more things to do, an exit voice evaluation, a musical theater masterclass, an acting final...and then I will be done. It has been quite the haul! And I have learned so much.

I had a major technical break-through in my singing yesterday. It was at my dress rehearsal. My teacher, Jane, started out the rehearsal upset with me because she said I wasn't doing anything we had worked on and I had reverted to my old way of singing. She said she thought maybe she should just leave and not listen to my dress rehearsal, unless I want to try to change and make it better. "Of course I do," I said. She sat there listening for a while more and said, "I think I may have just had some inspiration... I think maybe that you think of singing like playing the piano, that you feel like you need to do something physical to make a pitch, that you need to 'strike' a note to make it sound. But the voice isn't like that. It's a not a physical action, really, you can't 'play' your voice like you would a piano. It's just there. You can't do anything do it." I nodded and thought about it for a minute. I thought to myself, Okay. So I maybe I am thinking of my voice too much like an instrument. But really, I can't touch it, I can't strike a note in it. I can't do anything to it. I don't have an instrument when I sing. I don't have an instrument... I have no instrument. I have no voice.

All of the sudden, then, everything started working much better. My high notes all of the sudden floated out like they had never done before. Things were easier, clearer. I was trying to not manipulate anything, and just trust. I sang a few phrases and Jane said, "That's it! That's it. That's beautiful. What were you thinking?" I said, "I was thinking over and over, I don't have a voice." She laughed a little and said, "Alright. Keep thinking that."

Sooo. I asked the recording department to make a video and audio recording of the recital, so when I get the recording I will probably have a couple of things to post for you. :-)

I also had a musical theater performance last weekend, of a musical called "Bernarda Alba". It's pretty dark (especially for a musical!), but I had fun and I had some pretty solos in it. I should see if there's a recording in the school library of it yet, because they are supposed to have made a recording of that, as well.

After my recital tonight, a group of my friends went out with me for an after recital party. It was really nice. Our Stake President (the area authority of my church), paid for our food. It was a very nice celebration.

Here is a picture of my friend Laura and me (as well as some pie a la mode, bruschetta and hot apple cider):

Yaaay!

Behind...

2014-03-25T21:10:00.001-06:00

I have not been writing on my blog like I would like to.

Life and music have been keeping me very occupied....

Last week I was feeling a little down, a little afraid. And then I thought about all the millions of things I have to be grateful for, how good my life really is. I realized that something could happen to me tomorrow that would leave me longing for this day I have today, where I have my health, my family, my friends, my music... Everything is okay. So many people are dealing with problems that are so much more dire than what I have before me right now.

Can you believe I will be graduating in two months?

I was freaking out when I found out my student loan payments are going to be like, $1446 per month when I finally get out of school. But then I saw that they have a different payment plan you can request if you have a low income... I don't plan to have a low income when I graduate, it's just that making a lucrative living as a musician is not generally what one can expect...

I love performing though. When I was onstage for the opera earlier this month, it made me feel like everything is right in my life. Like I am on the right path, like everything is as it should be. I am a performer, and I am performing, and this makes me happy.

Here's another little video, this one from my dress rehearsal before the performance. My mom was videoing on her i-phone.

You know what I would love to have? An apartment of my own. I am so tired of sharing the bathrooms, sharing the kitchen, sharing the living space at the dorms. I've spent almost three years in these little dark rooms now... If I can find a way to make an income here in San Francisco, I will try to get my own place. We will see.

I sang a duet with my friend Stephanie Dietz at church a couple of weeks ago, and the Stake President (a San Francisco area leader for my church) heard it, and offered to pay to have a recording produced of it. I am excited about that. I talked to my friend Nahuel and we are going to start setting up the project. It's just one song, but it could be the start of more, who knows! I actually should call Nahuel tonight to talk to him about our plans.

Other than that... My recital preview (like a jury for the faculty to see if I will be ready to give my recital) is in less than a week, and I don't have all of my music learned yet (aaa!). I'm been focusing on so many other things... I am planning to do Bach's Cantata No. 51 on my recital but I haven't learned the last two songs yet and the last one is very difficult both to memorize and to sing... so I have a lot of work to do. I should have been working on that all day today but I got distracted by making videos and doing laundry and catching up on a few Z's. I feel like I am behind on everything, but I think (hopefully) I will make it through these next couple of months.

Maybe I will go get my laundry out of the dryer and then head over to the school and work for a while.

Until later....

Serse Video

2014-03-24T22:22:00.002-06:00

Here is an aria from my performance in Handel's Serse with the SFCM Baroque Ensemble on March 9th. I wish the video was a little closer up... but at least the sound is good. I'll try to post some more later!

Serse!

2014-03-12T11:48:00.000-06:00

Hello there,

Sorry it seems like it has been forever since I've posted on my blog. I've been so busy getting ready for the opera I performed in this past weekend (Handel's Serse) that I haven't had much time to think about anything else.

But now it is finished...And I feel so weird (and relieved)! I have been rehearsing/getting ready for this opera since last summer, so it has been a long time in the making. Soon I will post some recordings from it...but for now all you get are a couple of pictures:

Me, Cara Gabrielson (Atalanta), Mariya Kaganskaya (Serse), Spencer Dodd (Ariodate) in the dressing room during intermission.

And here is a picture of me with Corey Jamason (my director/conductor) after the concert:

Some of my family came out for the performance, and on Saturday we toured around the city together a little bit.

Me, my Mom, and My Grandma in front of the Golden Gate Bridge at Vista Point.

My sister Rachel, my cousin Bradley, and me.

All of us at dinner (my dad is in the top left).

After the concert, we went to Visalia, California, and visiting my Great-Grandpa Curly, who is 98 years old, and doing amazingly well.

He likes to hear me play piano so I performed some things on his keyboard which he recorded with his digital camera. :-)

Me and the fam.

That's all for now! :-D

Results...

2014-02-01T22:15:00.000-07:00

I didn't win the competition. :-( I was really sad about this one because it would have been so amazing to have had the experience of both singing AND playing piano with the San Francisco Conservatory Orchestra. But, you win some, you lose more. That's the way it always is. Hopefully I'll have the chance to sing my "Quatre Chansons de Ronsard" by Darius Milhaud with another orchestra someday.

I am grateful for the experience, though. I really learned a lot, and I felt more expressive and like a better performer onstage as a singer than I have ever felt before in my life. I am starting to learn how to use my body, my arms, my face, to really express while I sing. I am starting to be able to be an actress while I stand alone onstage, imagining an entire scene before me and pretending that I actually see it. I am starting to feel much more at home as a singer.

And you know what? I really love it. I love singing for people. People here are always asking me why I "switched" from piano to voice. But I didn't switch. I do both. I love both. I sing. I play the piano. I don't play the piano as much as I would like to these days, but I still am a pianist and I want to perform more!! I want to sing more, I want to play more. I want to write more. I want to go more places, and make more music.

Off to practice...

Good news!

2014-01-29T15:34:00.000-07:00

Hey everyone- Just a quick post to let you know that I competed Monday in the Conservatory's Voice Concerto Competition....And I made it to the finals!!!

The final round is tonight at 7:30 in the concert hall. There will be three of us singing our selected pieces all the way through with piano accompaniment.

Keep your fingers crossed, send good thoughts, and say a prayer for me that I can do my best!!!!

AAAAAAAA!

Time keeps Rolling

2014-01-15T16:25:00.000-07:00

I can't believe how fast time is going. My last semester at the San Francisco Conservatory begins next week.

Today I had my first coaching with Corey (the Baroque Ensemble/Opera director) since before Christmas break. It went pretty well, I thought. I was happy because he said that one of my cadenzas that I wrote for one of my arias "made his day". He said it's a little bit out of character for the piece...but he thinks he is going to let me do it, anyway.

Last night I was goofing around in the lobby at the dorm with my friend Prawesh, who is from Nepal. I was singing some songs and then he asked me if I could sing a song he really likes and he could record it. We made a silly little video...which I then posted to my vlog on Youtube. Here it is:

I'm sure my pronunciation is awful! But what would you expect for a first-time 15-minute lesson in another language?

I have been getting really stressed and worried lately about what on earth I am going to do after I graduate in May to make a living... I would like to stay in San Francisco, if possible...but everything is insanely expensive here so I have been concerned about what I will do. Of course I want to devote myself full-time to my music, but at the moment, nobody is paying me for the hours I spend practicing (hopefully one day, hehe), so I'll have to find a way to make ends meet in the mean-time.

I've been worrying about it, but then all of the sudden yesterday I felt really happy...realizing that once I am out of school, I actually will be able to devote myself full-time to finding work, and to developing a career that can support me. So there is no point in being worried right now.

Even if I had to work for minimum-wage for a while somewhere (which I don't think I will because I already have a teaching job that pays more than that where I could get more hours), I think I could find a way to survive here, getting a roommate and sharing a house or an apartment together. So everything will be alright.

I really want to stay and keep studying voice with Jane, because I feel like she is helping my singing immensely. There are also just lots of wonderful opportunities to make music with other wonderful musicians, opportunities which would be difficult, if not impossible to find if I were to move back to Montana or a similar place.

So here I am. And we will see what happens. For now I just need to PRACTICE. AAaaaaaaa!!!

Ciao for now...

Semester Finished!

2013-12-19T13:03:00.001-07:00

I am very happy to announce that my semester has ended! I gave my final singing evaluation on Tuesday this week, and it seems to have gone pretty well.

I was so happy because I got back my comments from the vocal faculty yesterday and they were more positive about my singing than they have ever been before. I know I have improved a lot this year, and it is so gratifying to know that the improvement is showing. I am so grateful to Jane and my other teachers that have helped me over the years, who continue to help me and guide me.

I sang a song by Copland, called "Why Do They Shut Me Out of Heaven?" The lyrics are from a poem by Emily Dickinson.

Do you want to read my comments? I can type them up for you. Hopefully that's not being too egotistical...I am just so happy about them.

But first I should give you the lyrics to the song because a couple of the faculty members made funny references to them in their comments:

Why do they shut me out of heaven?
Did I sing to loud?
But I can sing a little minor,
Timid as a bird.
Wouldn't the angels
Try me just once more?
Just see if I troubled them -
But don't shut the door, don't shut the door.
Oh, if I were the gentlemen in the white robes
And they were the little hand that knocked,
Could I forbid, could I forbid, could I forbid?
Why do they shut me out of heaven?
Did I sing too loud?

Okay. Here are the comments:

Daniel Mobbs: Great English diction. nice long phrases - Well done! Enjoy your break!

Sylvia Anderson: Excellent presentation of this wonderful song! Your talent shows forth!

Cesar Ulloa: You have a very sweet voice. Very expressive and musical -- Great job! Keep up the good work you are doing with your teacher!

Leroy Kromm: Very nice! Very good sense of pitch. Great musicality. Good improvement. Keep up the good work to maintain good breath management! Merry Christmas -

Jane Randolph (my teacher): Well, you were incredibly musical, but you were not aware of your low support and you definitely had to make space as a result -

Cathy Cook: Great job - wonderful improvement and progress this semester - it's really coming along! keep up the great work!!

Patricia Craig: Nicely sung! Pretty, silvery sound! Have a good break -

Ruby Pleasure: Why do they shut me out of heaven? I would let you in. We know that you have the highs and flexibility but I'm enjoying the warmth I'm hearing.

Pamela Fry: Your voice has grown so much! It's not too loud, just beautiful! Way to go! Don't check yourself out -- just let it go - you're such a good musician, just trust it and let it go - have fun!

I found it amusing how Jane was definitely my worst critic, which is of course her job. I am so grateful for her perfectionism. It is obviously doing good things for me.

Now I have just one more semester to go. I feel really ready to be out of school next year. I decided not to apply for the Post-Graduate Diploma right now at the conservatory because I just can't see myself going into more debt at this point. I think I might try to work next year as a vocal coach and piano/voice teacher in San Francisco....But it will be hard to pay for an apartment because rent has gone WAY up in San Francisco in the last couple of years. So we'll see how long I can survive.

I am excited though!

New Song! "Come and Walk With Me"

2013-12-13T05:47:00.000-07:00

I was up ALL night the night before last, trying to get my final project done for my recording class which was at 9 a.m. Wednesday morning. And here it is... a song I wrote a year and a half ago that I just recorded for the first time. There is still a lot of work I want to do on the mix... But right now I still have finals and juries coming up and I am just too excited to not show you guys what I have been working on. So here you go:

Learn how to make a free Electronic Press Kit

First Orchestra Rehearsal!

2013-12-05T00:59:00.002-07:00

Oh my goodness!!! I sang for the first time in my life today with an orchestra behind me... and it made me soooo happy. I was pretty nervous, but then I got up there and all of the sudden I felt really good and like, this is where I belong. So happy. All of the sudden all my performer/pianist instincts kicked in and I thought, I know what I'm doing here. It was a lot of fun.

Watch this and you will hear the first note to ever come out of my mouth accompanied by an orchestra:

http://youtu.be/wk_XpG_ToNs

http://youtu.be/9NL4UnD8tak

http://youtu.be/3mGkosHj9d0

Random-ness!!! And Kermit.

2013-11-22T01:26:00.001-07:00

Oh my goodness! I can't believe that the semester is almost over already. I actually only have about two more weeks of class, plus a week for finals and a little break for Thanksgiving. I WILL SURVIVE!! :-)

I still need to learn most of my music for juries though (for those of you who don't know what a jury is in music school: it's where you have to sing a few songs at the end of the semester for all the teachers on the voice faculty, in order to receive part of my semester grade).

Did I ever show you what I bought from a lady on the street in San Francisco? I was coming out of the conservatory one day and she had a bunch of puppets that she had made by hand... Including one of my favorite characters from my childhood:

That's right. It's Kermit.

He was only $15.

Kermit I had some fun Skyping together with my little niece.

I once had a hand-writing analysis done when I was at some sort of fair somewhere...(my brothers and sisters and I all did it... We had to write a few sentences and they put our writing samples through some sort of machine where it listed our personality traits supposedly from analyzing characteristics of our handwriting). One of the things it said about me is that "You cheer yourself up by indulging in whims." I had never thought about that before, but it is VERY true. I don't remember anything else the handwriting analysis said. But that one was right on.

Here's another whim.... Big, dangly earrings for which there are not many occasions to wear in public... Next singing performance maybe :-)

Oh life. I manage to keep myself entertained in the midst of it.

Stream of Consciousness

2013-11-17T04:37:00.000-07:00

Oh, Little Life of Music... Aren't you full of trouble? But everyone has it, everyone goes through it.

We are not alone in our solitude.

I am a dream, you are the waking,

I am a scheme, you are the making,

I am a heart, you are the breaking,

I am a hope, you are the taking.

Do you care if I ramble? What if I scramble through a bramble? What if I fall into a shamble?

Do you mind?

This is my mind you are reading...

You are reading my mind.

I'm sorry if I'm winding, down a twisted road

Sometimes we do that, in finding our

True home.

Are we ever home?

It feels like I'm a wandering

Minstrel

Singing in a different town,

Every day,

Looking for a softer bed to rest my weary head.

But everywhere I carry

My little mandolin,

And I play, and I play,

And I play.

This is my life, I say.

This is my music.

This is my life: my music.

Walls

2013-10-28T21:24:00.000-06:00

Sometimes in life it seems like you just keep hitting walls...or maybe the walls keep hitting you? Somehow you keep running into the exact same trouble, trying and trying for years to overcome the same problems, the same weaknesses.

It's hard to be an artist. It's hard to be a human being...a human being who needs things like, food, and sleep, and love, and exercise, and music, and accomplishment, and relationships, and fun, and relaxation, and meditation, and change, and constancy. It is hard to be human...because we are all human, and we are constantly moving and searching for our needs and trying to provide for the needs of others and somehow always being not quite competent at either.

Life is hard for humans.

But of course I would rather be a human than any other creature. Especially since I have known the joy of making music...and now I would be absolutely miserable without it. It's such a constant nagging in me...and I HAVE to do it, one way or another. Whether or not I'm ever really "famous" or "successful" at it, I still have to do it, no matter what. I have to keep improving my craft, keep expressing myself through this beautiful and amazing art form. I HAVE to, you know? I just cannot imagine myself ever devoting myself to something else instead. Not in this life, anyway...

So even when the walls are there, I cannot stop. I'll keep beating my head against them until either they break, or I am dead. :-)

I will do this thing.

New Goals

2013-10-21T14:28:00.003-06:00

I am happy because I got this email from the Bachauer International Piano Competition a few days ago:

Dear Jacquelyn Weitz:

The GINA BACHAUER INTERNATIONAL PIANO FOUNDATION is pleased to acknowledge that we have received your official application for the 2014 GINA BACHAUER INTERNATIONAL ARTISTS PIANO COMPETITION to take place in Salt Lake City, Utah from June 11-25, 2014.

We are pleased to report that we have received 200 applications from candidates throughout the world.

It is our pleasure to invite you to audition in Salt Lake City on February 4, 2014 at 2:00 PM. The auditions will take place at:

The Rose Wagner Performing Arts Center

Jeanne Wagner Theater

138 West Broadway

Salt Lake City, UT 84128

801-297-4250

We recommend that you arrive at the audition site 30 minutes prior to your audition time in order to have a warm-up period and to become accustomed to the setting.

During the audition, candidates will begin with a selection of their own choice, followed by one or more requests from the jury (as time allows).

If you have any questions or concerns, please do not hesitate to e-mail or telephone the offices of the Gina Bachauer International Piano Foundation

Telephone: +1 801.297.4250

e-mail: info@bachauer.com

We look forward to the pleasure of making your personal acquaintance and the opportunity to hear your audition performance, and we extend our very best wishes for much success.

Sincerely,

Kary Billings

Chairman of the Board

Douglas Humphreys

Artistic Director

I sent an application in to them the DAY of the deadline....nothing was working the week before with their website and I kept losing all of my saved work and having to start over again and again. But once I finally got it submitted I heard back from them pretty quickly. I am excited to have a new performance goal to be working toward in my piano!

The audition on February 4th is just to audition to GET IN to the competition in the first place, so we'll see if I actually end up a competitor. That would make me happy, though!

I am also really happy because people have been telling me recently that my singing is improving a lot. My friend, Crystal, heard me sing one of my arias from Serse in the practice room the other day, and she said she couldn't believe how much I have improved since last year. She said my sound is thicker and more focused. And when I auditioned for the operas this fall, one of the directors told me that my voice has gotten much bigger since last year.

Jane was also really happy with me at my lesson that day, and even suggested that I might continue with a Postgraduate Diploma in Vocal Performance from the Conservatory, after my Master's Degree. That was really encouraging to hear. The reality is that it's only sort of an option, depending on my financial situation in another year or two..... In my current situation it's a bit of an impossibility, but we'll see what happens! As Jane said, "Well, you never know...".

New Reflections

2013-10-19T21:31:00.002-06:00

From the Reflections blog, once again:
http://jacquelynsreflections.blogspot.com/2013/10/down-in-river-to-pray.html
http://jacquelynsreflections.blogspot.com/2013/09/forgiveness.html

New Song

2013-10-16T15:31:00.002-06:00

Hey there...

I am taking a class this semester called "Intro to Recording Techniques," and this morning we had our first real recording project due. It had to be something that included speaking, music, and some special effects/sounds. So I decided to record one of my songs that I had started writing a while back. I finished the lyrics in a night and then made the recording over two nights. It's pretty rough (as all my home-done recordings are), but I think it gives a good idea of the song's potential:

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Good News

2013-08-26T03:47:00.002-06:00

Today (well I guess technically now it's yesterday) I got some good news!   Last week I auditioned for all of the vocal ensembles at the conservatory... and today I found out that I got a major role in the Baroque Opera! It will be performed this coming spring. I am so excited.   I will sing the role of "Romilda" in the opera Serse by Handel. I have been dreaming of singing with the Baroque Ensemble since I first moved to San Francisco to study piano about three years ago... and now at last I get to participate fully.

Do you know what else that means? This will be my first time ever singing with an orchestra!   Of course, I have already played piano with orchestras many times before, but now I will sing. That makes me so happy.

We will start rehearsals and coachings almost immediately.... our first meeting will be Friday of next week.

I am so excited!!!!

Another Ravel 2nd Movement

2013-08-01T02:33:00.004-06:00

I just uploaded a video from my Saturday night performance of Ravel's Concerto in G Major. The performance I had already uploaded to Youtube was from the Sunday matinee. I think I actually like the Saturday night version of the 2nd movement better... so I decided to upload it.

The school's video recording system malfunctioned on the first night, so I only had one camera angle to use (thanks to my friend James!) sitting in the 3rd row.