Sheree Rensel - ART AND LIFE

Art Blog: Chicken or the IDEA?

2012-01-27T18:05:00.004-05:00

I never have been a fan of artist’s statements. It just seems like so much blah, blah, blah. Back in my university days, the statement was imperative. You had to be able to speak about your work or you would fail. Through the years, I have been asked for artist statements for exhibition purposes and even job applications. I always come up with something to say. It is good to verbalize what you are doing art wise.

So which comes first: the chicken or the egg? Many times I have been asked how I come up with ideas for my art. People have asked me if I have a vision or just start painting or what. I always tell them it differs in every situation. Sometimes, it all comes together at the same time. I have the ideas, images, and explanation all at once. This is rare. Other times, I begin work and each brush stroke or mark starts to reveal the reasoning behind the purpose.

Most often, when I make art, I always have a rationale playing over and over in my head while I am working on a series or when I start a new work. Usually, I write the words after the fact. However, today I was hit in the head by reality. I have had this idea for a series on my mind for years. Every so often it would pop up again and again. I would brush it off and tell myself I would get to it. It is about the idea of ABUNDANCE and food. The germ of the idea came long ago as I pushed my grocery cart through the produce aisle at the store. I looked at the plethora of food we Americans have access to every day. The image colors, variety, and the sheer abundance have haunted me for years. I supposed it weighed on me too. How could there be hungry people when we have all this food available to us?

I finally started working on this idea earlier this week. Each day, I would play with ideas, mixing/matching images and techniques. I want to continue to work with a digital/drawing process I started to develop recently while working on my “Encyclopedia of Suicide” series. I put that series on hold for a while because I was getting so much resistance. That is kind of a good thing. In fact, it indicates the power of the idea. However, I want to work on something else right now because I don’t have the strength to defend that series at the moment. I need something less controversial. So, I want to work on this idea of abundance using photography, digital prints, and colored pencil.

Today, I worked on this stuff for about eight hours. I finally had to stop. I felt like I was running in place and getting nowhere. I would work, tear things up, print again, draw again, tear things up………AGAIN. It is not time wasted. It was time trying to figure out WHAT AM I DOING HERE? I want to know the why, when, where, what, and how of my artistic direction. This has made me realize one of the reasons artists need statements. As I plod along on this new series, I have to start to formulate some kind of verbal rationale in order to help figure out the reasons behind this new series. As I work and write and work and write, it will start to come together.

So what comes first the chicken or the idea?

Do you write out a statement before or after you make the art?

Today's work.
I have no idea where this is going, but that is OK!

Art Blog: Schemes and Dreams

2012-01-22T11:50:00.004-05:00

I finally cried real, sad tears last night. I have been crying at work out of frustration. So I quit. Now, I am unemployed. I don’t regret it all. However my first knee jerk reaction yesterday was the desire to talk to my dad. I can’t because he is dead. I just want to call him. I just want to vent, talk, and tell him what is going on right now. This isn’t possible except for in my mind.

My dad was my dad. He wasn’t very well educated, but he had worldly common sense. Some of the most favorite times in my life was to go to his house, just sit, drink a beer, and talk. He was one of the few people who understood where I was coming from and he laughed at all my jokes, as I did to his silliness. We would make an afternoon of it. Sitting at the vintage chrome and linoleum print table in his dining room, we would go on for hours about stuff. We would laugh and laugh. I got him and he got me.

My dad was a dreamer. It is so funny because as I age, I see myself becoming more and more like him. He was a book binder. He worked at print shops most of his life. He would have me laughing when I came to his house. He would always give me stacks of scrap paper he foraged from work. He supported me as an artist. I know he had issues, but he was a cool guy to me. He was always there for me.

One thing that is coming back to haunt me is his knack to dream and scheme. He always had a new idea to make money. He was always thinking of new schemes. He would invent things and make little paper mock-ups. He would show me them during visits. I was an artist already; yet, I was amazed by his ability to make these little, mini installations of his factory machines. We were of the same ilk. I got all his creativity. It is from him.

Since I can’t talk to him now, I have to work out all this life stuff for myself. I suppose he is listening in spirit. Maybe? All I know is I have schemes and dreams too. I just don’t want it to end like his imaginations. For him, nothing came of it. He died before any of his ideas took hold. I want something to work. I want something to take hold. I want one of my own schemes and dreams to get me through the next twenty or whatever years I have left.
I want my dad to be proud because I DID it!

Dad in front of the Golden Gate Bridge
He was a dreamer and I got his genes.
I just want a dream to come true for both of us.

Art Blog: Learning to RELAX

2012-01-21T17:26:00.003-05:00

I have never been an “OHM” type person. I wish I was. That is on my bucket list. I am trying and aspire to become one with the UNIVERSE and just be calm, relaxed, and have faith everything happens for a reason. I want so much to believe this. Also, I want to be in some kind of nebulous, spiritual place that I can just learn to calm down and take each moment with gratitude and soothing anticipation. I am not there yet.

This is the first day I am officially without a day job. I wish I could say I am handling it like a yoga master; I am not. I have made plans of action. I have plans A-Z. The first pre-A plan was to just chill out this weekend. Starting Monday, I have to organize my studio and house due to all the moves I have made in the past few weeks. It is clutter city. I can’t stand it. I am freaking out because there is just too much STUFF. Next on the agenda is to keep looking for a new job. This is a given. I will just keep applying until someone wants me and realizes I am such a great catch.

We will see……………

This morning I woke up and was frantic with energy. I started art marketing at 7:30am like there was no tomorrow. I have been at it all day and I am exhausted. I realized I was kind of out of control. This is why I thought of “OHMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM”. Here I am all alone and trying too hard to make things happen. This is my nature. The irony is due to past experience I know things will happen the way they are supposed to happen. I know for sure I am making connections and strange, but wonderful things are lining up before my eyes. I just have to trust.

So I guess this is a time for more life learning. I need to learn how to trust; I need to learn how to relax; I need to learn how to know everything will be fine because I won’t have it any other way.

You have a proven track record Sheree.
You just need to believe in yourself.
Ohmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm!

“Calm”
Acrylic / Mixed Media on Canvas
24” x 24”
Sheree Rensel
$450.
Contact: wizzlewolf@aol.com
Click pic for detail view

Art Blog: Artist’s Intuition

2012-01-19T17:50:00.004-05:00

I have always respected my intuition. It has been right 99.9% of the time. I haven’t always acknowledged this stellar record. Shame on me! There have been times when I knew the truth, but I ignored it. This happened because of fear. Now, I am starting to listen and realize if my gut tells me something, LISTEN.

Today was the very last day I had with my current students. I have been in that same room with the blue floor for more than eighteen years. As the day ended, I felt no sadness. One student told me she wanted to cry. I said “No, don’t cry. It is all good for both of us.” During the final moments of the day, I was packing up some of my last things and there was a knock on the door. When I answered, I was told this is the “new” teacher. She wanted to see the room. I welcomed her with open arms. I gave her a tour and explained as much as I could explain in an hour. I wished her well. I really do.

I felt NOTHING.

I am so sentimental. I cry during Hallmark commercials. I didn’t cry today because I know my decision to find a new life is right and true. I signed on to do this job in 1993. It was a wonderful job and an artist’s dream opportunity. Times have changed. Systems have changed. I found myself being required to do things that were just not in the spirit of my art educator mentality the past few months.

Sooooooooooooooooo……………………………………

I have always been one to live my life with a simple motto:

If it doesn’t feel good, DON’T do it!

I haven't felt good about my art job life for a while now. I decided I just don’t want to do it anymore. Ironically, I have a series of paintings which express the images and statements of my students. One painting is titled
“YOU CAN’T MAKE ME”
This is how I feel right now. My intuition is in full force. NOBODY can make you do what you don’t want to do. That is a fact. So, I won’t. I am taking my toys and tools to a new playground now.
It feels good. Nuf said.

BTW LISTEN to your INTUITION!!

Click pic for detail view

Art Blog: Artist-In-Residence

2012-01-17T16:49:00.003-05:00

It just hit me. What am I going to do next week? I will be officially unemployed!!! Not to worry. If you know me or have read this blog before, you know I am a totally Type A, workaholic, control freak, doer of good deeds, and "don’t stop till you drop" type of person. I am going to be busy for sure. Of course, I will be looking for a new job, but I started thinking about this self imposed transition. I started making lists and plans, per usual. One thing that came to mind is a few weeks of PURE art.

There would be nothing better to help me to mend and rejuvenate from the last 18 years of dedicated duty I gave to my past job. I need to think of something special to help me get motivated about life again. I remembered when I went to Vermont Studio Center years ago. That was probably one of the best months of my life. I wish I could go there again. I was a true artist that month. I wandered around Vermont, ate three meals a day (that was weird) and had a schedule to go to my studio and make art EVERYDAY! What a concept! Artist residencies and fellowships are so wonderful. If you can apply and get accepted, DO IT. It is beyond fantastic!

I can’t apply for any residency now. I have too many bills and I have to plan for survival. Besides, you have to apply early. There is no time for that now. Yet there was a part of me that kept thinking. I want to just take a few weeks to make art and work on myself. I want to mend and energize. I can do this. Despite no job, I can last monetarily for a few months, so why not do it? I want to take time to get healthy in every way before I begin my new life journey.

Then, it hit me. WHY NOT? Why not have my own art residency here at my own studio. I can create a schedule, plan, and make an agenda. I am really good at that kind of organizing. As long as I have a schedule printed out and planned, I will stick to it. I am a Virgo, you know. LOL First things first though. I have moved out of my downtown studio and my art classroom so for the first week sans job, I have to get my art house organized. It currently looks like a hoarder lives here. that has to stop. Then, I can plan for a month of pure ART and being an artist. Sheree needs that.

So I will be here during the month of February. I am doing the “Sheree Rensel, Artist-In-Residence” gig of my own design. I know come March 1st, I will be healthier, happier, have new art started, and be ready to take on my new art life. It may mean working at the hardware store, making art, and trying to figure out how to pay all my bills. Yet, I am not really worried.

I have had a hard life, but it is so weird; I have always landed on my feet.
MEOW! :-)
Click pics for detail views

Art Blog: Missed (MONEY) Opportunities

2012-01-15T11:28:00.004-05:00

“Your attitude, not your aptitude, will determine your altitude” Zig Ziglar

I started writing this post in my head a few years ago. I was sitting in a very expensive front row seat at a Dave Matthews Band concert. Despite being frugal by nature, I would always splurge on a DMB ticket. There was a woman sitting next to me. She was about my age, but that (and DMB) seemed to be the only thing we had in common. She was wearing very extravagant, designer clothes. She had diamonds and jewels on every finger. It was very obvious; she was doing well in the wealth department. Her upper class ($$$) stature alone made me feel like I was sitting next to an unknown creature. I have never been familiar with having lots of money.

While we sat waiting for the show to start, I struck up a conversation. She told me that this would be her fourth or fifth DMB concert that year. She went on to introduce me to her son sitting next to her. She said they “follow” DMB all around the world. I said something stupid like “WOW”. After that, I just smiled and shut down the conversation. I mean, I couldn’t top that! We continued to wait and smile. She got up to go get a drink. Her son started talking to me and he told me his mom has three homes in three different countries. They hop around the world most of the year enjoying their favorite music. I think I said “WOW” again.

After the concert was over, I was driving back to the hotel. I thought about the rich lady and her son. Three houses, huh? Hopping around the world, huh? It was about that moment I wanted to stop the car and kick myself. Designer clothes, jewels, houses, traveling…………. She probably owns ART too. Yet, I sat there and said nothing to her about my life as an artist. I didn’t try to promote myself or my art at all. I was intimidated or just shy or dumb. LOL I missed a golden opportunity.

Sheree dropped the ball.

Honestly, this kind of missed money opportunity has happened to me a lot. It doesn’t even occur to me to try to SELL my own art. I have sold a lot of art in my life, but 90% (at least) has been sold in gallery situations. I have never honed the skills of salesmanship. I never had to or wanted to worry about the money side of art. This past year, I had people in my studio numerous times and my attempts to move my work out of my studio was totally lack luster and without fanfare. My salesmanship genes seemed to be dormant.

Well, I am going to change this. Lesson has been learned. I need to wake up my gregarious nature and go for the gold. Last night, I was enduring an art opening (my hell) and I was hiding in the corner. After an hour of torture, I finally realized I had to STOP this now. I make all this art and it is starting to look like I am an art hoarder. Not knowing how to start developing my new attitude, I went to the familiar. I grabbed my iPad and looked up the famous salesman, Zig Ziglar. After reading some of his words for about fifteen minutes, I jumped up and started talking to people. One woman was admiring one of my paintings and I engaged her in conversation. After laughing and listening to her say “I should put this in my office”. The words just popped out of my mouth and I responded “YES!! You should! Buy it for your office!”
Then, she did. OMG!!! I was so shocked.

I still have a whole lot to learn and many people skills to hone, but at least this is a start. I am going to be ultra aware of these opportunities to engage with potential collectors. It isn’t just for the money either. It feels good to know my art is being appreciated.

Have you ever missed opportunities?

Click pic for detail view

Art Blog: Artistic ROOTS

2012-01-13T16:39:00.005-05:00

I hurt myself today. I have no idea how, but I have a bum leg at the moment. So I am hobbling around, dragging my foot here and there. Been there, done this. I will be fine if I stop trying to hobble. Ignore the pain is my motto. So I will. I was working on one of my “art signs”. It is stuff I make that is cool and affordable. This is still a work in progress. Then, I turned to wash a brush and I saw the spider plant babies I put in a jar just a week ago. I saw they are already growing roots! Nature is so amazing.

My wandering mind made me think about how we are all a part of nature. We have all grown roots too. Things are crazy for me now and I am extra introspective. I realized how I am at a crossroads. I have no idea what will happen next, but I do know what happened before this. I started thinking about my artistic roots. I knew I was going to be an artist when I was a very little girl. I would watch my dad make stuff. He was a maker and I wanted to be a maker too. He worked with vinyl and these shiny rivets. I remember him making these weird, wood plagues when I was of preschool age. His brother was a painter. I knew this too. Even at four years old, I knew art was my destiny. I got their genes.

Shortly after this, my dad left with a “pretty woman”. I didn’t really get to spend time with him again until I was 13 years old. That year, he bought me an oil painting set. Despite our distance and alienation, he knew I was one of them. He knew. During that year I spent with him, I painted on the front porch of his house. Then, I was told I had to leave. The “pretty woman” wanted me gone. So I vanished back to the mother-land.

Despite the transplantation, I kept painting. I wish I was in documentation mode back then. I would love to see some of my first awful paintings again. I have no photos though. So sad. There was a drippy, cat eyes painting which someone bought for about $20. I also remember a pastel drawing of our dog “Yum Yum”. That was cool. I really thought that was GREAT ART! LOL There were all kinds of paintings and drawings that were made during my high school days. One cliché “swans on a lake” was sold for $50. I thought I won the lottery!

I can remember the very first “real” painting I did. I mean real in the sense I REALLY felt like an artist. I was fifteen. I did a copy of “Jesus on the Mount”. I don’t have a photo of it. I wish I did. However, I know it was so horrible. I had turned it into a near circus scene. The colors were very bright and garish. Despite this, I thought I was a REAL artist after the completion of this work. Some religious person bought it from me and I was so, so proud. I think that was the moment my art career started. I had accomplished my goal. I wanted to be an artist and this one painting made me feel like I was on my way.

Now decades and decades later, I want that feeling again. I want to feel like an artist and be on my way once again.

I am not religious, but maybe there is some kind of symbolism here(?) Say an art prayer for me.
Also, THINK ABOUT YOUR OWN Art roots.
How did you become an artist?

Art Blog: THAT RISK

2012-01-11T17:09:00.003-05:00

This post is dedicated to all the people who want to redesign their lives. It is so scary and precarious. However, I truly believe in the end it will be worth it.

I walked into a room today at work and people looked at me in a strange way. I stopped in my tracks and said “I know why you are staring; I am SMILING and you don’t recognize me!!” LOL LOL LOL I don’t know why I am smiling in some ways. I shouldn’t be. Some might think I just threw my life down the toilet. I don’t believe this to be true at all. Oh yes, I am at risk big time. There is the possibility I could lose everything I have worked so hard to accrue for all my years on earth. That is possible, but not probable.

I have lived on this earth for a long time. I have worked most of my life. I am a “bread winner”. I have worked very, very hard too. Yet, there is a little part of me that is amazed I have made it this far. I got through college and university without rich parents. I raised a kid all by myself. I have held the home fort all alone for decades. I have gotten awards for doing what I do best: art and educating. Who would have thought??

Yet, I decided to throw in the towel on my middle class salary and look for other opportunities. How dare I? How could I do this? It is such a gamble and so risky. Money has never been my motivator. Happiness and contentment trump wealth for me. It always has. I figure (I hope), I have a few more decades in me and I want to go out with a BANG! I want to be the true SHEREE once again. You see, I had the stuff. I had an OK job and a credit rating. However, I am so unhappy it was obvious it is time for a redo. I want to give myself the opportunity for the real Sheree to show her stuff once again. I will too given the opportunity!

I am facing total uncertainty. I have never been to Vegas. I have never played a gambler’s hand, so to speak. I am now. Deal those cards! I am ready to win or fold. I just have to take this risk. I have to because I want to smile again.

One of the best things that happened today is a colleague came up to me and said she admired my courage. She said there are others who wish they could do the same thing. They will not move on because they are afraid. I am not afraid. Well, I am a little afraid. However, I am not going to let FEAR rule my life.
I AM GOING TO RULE MY LIFE.

“Gambler / That Risk”
Mixed Media
Variable size
Sheree Rensel
Click pic for detail view

Art Blog: Envisioning The Future

2012-01-04T16:16:00.006-05:00

OK. I think I have a whole lot of years still left in me. So now what? We all wonder about what the future will hold. I know I do. However I realized the other day, maybe that wonder should turn into a solid vision of what I want and need to happen in my future. I came to this realization due to a simple Facebook comment.

Bob Ragland who has been a great online friend and mentor left a comment that included these words: “SEE BEYOND THE PRESENT MOMENT PLEASE.” That statement took me aback. I thought I was thinking of my future and leaving the present behind. Am I? Maybe not. After thinking for a few days, I saw things from a new perspective. I asked myself “If I could design my future, what would it look like?”

We should all do this. I mean we can’t predict the future, but we sure can try to arrange and be prepared to do what we want to do. It is like a Bucket List, but more specific. My bucket list includes working and working hard. That is my best asset. Of course, I will always be and continue to be an artist. However, I want a job too. I thrive on having duties, assignments, and work to do. That is my nature. I am an art and job juggler. I thrive on that kind of achievement and stress. I want that to continue.

So what do I envision for myself? I know my strengths and weaknesses. I know what I do very well. I am a Type-A worker bee. I love to organize, innovate, and manage. You say any word and I can think of a myriad of ideas for an art program, lesson, or art exhibition. I love to use technology to make miracles happen. I am a show stopper. I can get up in front of a group of people and put on a show. You give me a subject area and I will talk, make people laugh, and think. I am a natural teacher. No matter where I am or what I am doing, I am always in teaching mode. I love to share knowledge. Most importantly, I love to share my life of art with others. The passion I exude is obvious.

So, I want all that in my future. I want to be able to share all my skills and dreams with others. I want to program, manage, use technology, teach (on my terms), write, be a public speaker, and be a terrific asset to a public service organization. I have done this all before with accolades. I want to do it again and again. Meanwhile, I will continue to be a proud artist while I work away for others too.

So WHAT is your vision of your future?
What do you do best?

“Imagine Magic”
Acrylic / Mixed Media on Canvas
8” x 8”
Sheree Rensel
Click pic for detail view

Art Blog: 2011 Summary In Words

2012-01-02T10:52:00.002-05:00

Art Blog: RESOLVED

2011-12-31T20:05:00.006-05:00

Resolve:
- break up, separate
-to change by disintegration
-to reduce by analysis
-to separate, to cause resolution
- to deal with successfully : clear up
-to find an answer
- make clear or understandable

As the fireworks boom and the new year starts, I should be mimicking Chicken Little. “The sky is falling; The sky is falling!!!!!” I am not going to do that though. I am sitting here all relaxed and waiting for the ball to drop. The ball will drop in Times Square for the New Year, but not drop on my life. I just know this to be true.
Rather than make grandiose statements about what I want to happen or not to happen in 2012, I am looking at what I have accomplished to this point. That is a lot. Back on January 1, 2011, I put up a blog post (removed now for whatever reason) that gave a list of wants for this past year.

I had an agenda. I am not really sure if I accomplished my resolutions or not. I am not sure 2011 was mine. I know I rented a second studio. I know I tried hard to be more social. I know I wanted to concentrate more on me, Sheree the artist. I closed down my ”Git Outta My Face Gallery” for that very reason. I want so much to support other artists, but it is time for me to support myself. I did this by making a bunch more art this year. I have entered new and promising realms with my new art. This is good. Yet, there is a little part of me that asks “Was 2011 yours, really?”
Yes. I think it was. As I frantically move stuff around and reorganize my space and life, one thing that is a terrific triumph is I quit my job. I have had that job for eighteen years. I never really wanted to be an art teacher. I don’t have a degree in art education. However in 1993, it sounded like a good idea. I had an opportunity. I had a ten year old daughter who needed health insurance. I had bills to pay. So I signed on the dotted line.

For the first few years, I was in heaven on earth. Seriously. I was in an “artist who teaches” situation that couldn’t be better. Then about eight years into this gig things started to sour. I kept the job because it was a good job. However around five years ago, I wanted out so bad. I wanted to do other things. I wanted to be an artist who worked a day job that allowed for me to still be an artist. I didn’t want to keep worrying about everything so much that I took the job home with me every night. I would dream (nightmares) about my job. It had to stop, but I was afraid.

I am not afraid anymore. I did it. I quit. I have no regrets either. I have no idea what will happen next. I do know things will be better. I want some kind of simplicity and peace in my art life. Striving for a new adventure will bring that calm to me. Yes, this is a scary proposition, but I am not afraid anymore. I have RESOLVED this one, very important issue in my life. Now, I just have to find a way to be healthy and happy. I will do that too.

BOOM, BOOM, BOOM
Happy New Year!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

“Healthy”
Acrylic / Mixed Media on Canvas
8” x 6”
Sheree Rensel
THIS IS MY ONLY WISH FOR 2012.

Art Blog: DATE of Artwork?

2011-12-30T17:55:00.005-05:00

As I packed up my car to the brim today moving out all the stuff from my second studio and moving it back to studio one, I just had to laugh. I filled up the back of my SUV with tons of furniture, paintings, and general art stuff. I used the front, passenger seat to hold a box of small, finished paintings. Right there next to me was the face of “Healthy, Wealthy, Wise?” I started this painting years ago. I have had it hanging in my downtown studio. As I sat driving with it looking at me, it felt like a reunion. At each stop light, I would primp and prod the surface of the painting. I wanted to rework one area. How can I do this? It is supposed to be a finished painting! Some paintings are never finished. I repaint paintings all the time. Get over it.

A work is done when we say it is done. However, times change and perceptions change. After looking at a work for a few years, it is OK to rework this area or that. It is part of the creative process. When I stopped to look at “Healthy”, there was something inside me urging me to do more work on this canvas. I wanted to update it a bit. This reminded me of another one of my pet peeves.

When you fill out art exhibition entry forms, there is usually a place which asks “DATE OF WORK”. I always put the year we are in right now. I figure if I put one, new brushstroke on the surface, it means I finished it today. I always wonder why they ask that question. I mean, how would that information be verified? Is the juror going to run a time check on your work? HUH? In other words, that question is stupid and makes no sense.

I have been an exhibition coordinator. I have worked in galleries. I have created exhibition prospectuses. I have this odd daydream. It takes place a long, long time ago. Some person organizing an art exhibition created a prospectus. That same prospectus has been copied over and over and over and over again for decades. The same questions are asked. The same information is gleaned. The only problem with it is nobody has bothered to ask:
WHY ARE YOU ASKING ME THIS QUESTION?
In other words, I finished this painting this very moment.
YEP, it is done for now!

“Healthy, Wealthy, Wise?”
Acrylic / Mixed Media on Canvas
20” x 16”
Sheree Rensel
Click pic for detail view

Art Blog: You NEVER Know

2011-12-28T13:41:00.005-05:00

I have been involved in a number of vibrant and energetic art discussions online in recent days. I love this. Thank goodness for the internet! One of the topics under discussion is my project I am doing for Art House Coop. It is a sketchbook titled “Encyclopedia of Suicide”. This is my own concept. I have wanted to explore this issue for a long time. It is definitely a work in progress. Things are coming along very well. I am creating digital/mixed media pages and taking notes. However, I have realized this is a very touchy subject. I think I am hitting a nerve. People want to talk. People want to speculate. People are hurt. This is why I am interested in using this as a springboard for art research and an expressionistic idea.

First I have to say my book is not going to be morbid or gruesome in anyway. Per usual, I want to explore the emotional side of suicide. What? When? Where? How? WHY?????????? I have been interested in the issue of suicide since I was a child. I won’t go into details, but this phenomenon has touched me in many ways. So much so, when I see any video or news headline that mentions the taking of a life by one’s own hand, I have to look, read, and wonder. It isn’t hard for me to imagine this situation. I know and I think I understand. I have worked with emotionally impaired individuals most of my life. I have witnessed how they think.

After listening to others speak and comment, I have gathered the emotional detritus and remnants of emotional scars that remain after a death of a loved one. I cannot imagine their pain. One thing that is a continuing thread is the senseless nature of the act. So many people who decide to end their own lives have had very creative and productive lives. We see that. It is obvious to us. However inside the mind of an extremely depressed person, things aren't so easily recognized. There is an extreme emptiness and a feeling nobody REALLY cares.

This part is understandable. To those of us lucky enough to have some grasp of reality, it is still very difficult to understand and accept how others perceive us. We don’t even connect with the truth of what is going on at any given time. Most of us have our own thoughts about our own world and how we perceive it. We also have conjured up ideas about what others think about us. True or false, that is our own reality.

Someone sent me an email yesterday in response to a thank you note I had sent another artist. In my email, I mentioned I felt so lost and nearly artistically insane due to the lack of artist community support. In his response he said “You are not insane by any means and you probably have more people that admire your passions than you think.” This comment stopped me in my tracks. All of a sudden there was a fight between my rational and emotional brain. You never really know what others are thinking about you. There are people that see good in you. There are people who look up to you. There are people who want the same things you have in your art life.

You never really know.

The rational side knows this to be true. I have been lucky. I know I am a force to be reckoned with and have lived a good art life. My tenacity alone deserves praise. Yet in my (emotional) heart of hearts during these tough times, I start to wonder about my work and worth. This is why I can understand why someone would feels like there is no point anymore. The rational side of our minds and being loses out to our emotions which at times skew our perceptions.

“Relief”
Work in Progress
“Encyclopedia of Suicide”
Sheree Rensel

Art Blog: Change is GOOD!

2011-12-27T15:05:00.007-05:00

I knew a woman once who changed the arrangement of her house constantly. When I visited her, I would notice every room had changes. These differences were daily events. Every room would be unrecognizable from one week to the next. It was almost as if every day of the week was a day to move furniture from one room to another. Even her knick knacks would flit from the living room to the family room and/or bathroom. Stuff on the walls would be in a new place. Some things would disappear all together. It was so bizarre to me. I always wondered why she wasn’t satisfied with her choices. Was there some kind of neurotic impulse that made her want to redesign her world every day?

I suppose this trait was hard for me to understand because I am completely the opposite. I am the other end of that neurotic spectrum. Every time I have a new space to live or work, I put everything in its place and it stays there for YEARS. I mean, I never, ever move anything. On rare occasion, I might rearrange something old to fit in something new. However, I have to really want to live with that new thing.

I am not sure why I am like this. It might have to do with the insecurity of my childhood. It seemed like we were always on the run. We moved from house to house. Nothing was ever in its place for long, including me. I am no shrink. All I know is I don’t like change at all. I have lived in only two places since moving to Florida and the only reason I moved that one time was to go from renter to owner. When I got to this house, I put everything where I wanted it and it has been exactly the same for ten years.

This is why I am about to have a panic attack right now. I have to be out of my downtown studio by next Sunday. I started hauling stuff back to my home studio and immediately started to freak out. It is like trying to fit a round peg into a square hole. I have too much stuff. I hauled a few nonessential pieces of junk furniture to the curb. That made a bit of room. Now, I have to rearrange my floor plan. I don’t like this feeling of change at all. However, it is helping me by chanting “Change is GOOD, change is good, change is good”…as I push stuff from one place to another. One thing for sure is wherever I find spaces for all this stuff, I am not moving a thing for another ten years!!!!!!

Breath, Sheree, Breath!

Change is GOOD! At least, I have found a spot to put my flats cabinet!

Another GREAT thing is I have a way to get my biggest wall back.
I needed that to work on my new, large “Treasure Maps”
…………Keep breathing.

Opps, while moving furniture around I found this spot that was under my easel. Paint on the floor is fine in an artist’s studio, but this is gross. I will tackle that project after I have more things in order.

Just take it one step at a time and it will be all good! I can’t WAIT to post the “after” photos.
That will mean this nightmare is OVER!
"Change is good, change is good, change is good...............

Art Blog: FEARLESS

2011-12-26T13:14:00.001-05:00

I was reminded today of a very important phenomenon. At one time I was FEARLESS. Yes, I was younger then. I had this fierce hunger of WANTING. If I wanted something, nothing would stop me. I would do everything I could to get it. I am still like that, but there is a difference. I think too much now.

I am not sure if it is age, experience, or life wisdom that is making me more cautious. I am analyzing this now. This post started writing itself a few days ago. I was looking at my “jobs” file and noticed I still hadn’t applied to a somewhat local college for a adjunct studio art position. I put it off because it was across the bay and it would take me an hour to drive to my job. That isn’t an optimal situation, but then I remembered the old days. OMG!! I was so hungry and eager back then, I would have driven 100 miles to work if I could teach college level. In fact, I did exactly that. I was teaching at two colleges and an art center all at the same time. As schedules fall, I was in a predicament. On Wednesdays, I had to work all three jobs on the same day and had to drive 100+ miles round trip to hit them all on any given Wednesday. I did it too. I was that driven (pun intended).

I think too much now. I have gotten into the habit of too much time to weigh out everything. I analyze, poke, and prod all the good and bad of every situation. Having the same job for over a decade has nurtured a lame kind of agoraphobia. I feel safe in my little art cave going to my little art job which I hate. It is time for change, big time. Back then, I WANTED it. I wanted it bad. I would do whatever it took for change to happen. It worked too.

I was reminded of this today. I sent out an art exhibition entry form. I entered works from my “Treasure Map” series. Ironically, these paintings are about the exact thing for which I speak now. They are about the times in our lives. They are about the ways we change and see things in new ways. They are about the times and places in which we find ourselves. After sending the entry off, I started thinking about being so cautious and careful. I don’t like being afraid. When I was younger I was fearless and nothing stopped me. I want some of that moxie back. BTW I applied for the adjunct job.
I will just have to get new tires for my car.

“Ice Road”
Acrylic on Canvas
24” x 36”
Sheree Rensel
Click pic for detail view

Art Blog: We Are What We Think

2011-12-24T11:28:00.003-05:00

We all do it. You know you do. We all have our “mind tape” mantras. Those are the thoughts and feelings that run ramped in our minds. Some of it is good. The praises we sing to ourselves keep us moving and thriving. However, there are times when that continual negative song plays over and over in your head. You want to scream “STOP IT!”

Now that I am rearranging my life, I am more introverted and introspective than normal. I am thinking and rethinking things. I am planning and prodding schemes. I am trying to figure out how I got here and where I go now. One thing that has reared its ugly head is negative self talk. You wouldn’t believe all the nasty things I start thinking, but quickly squash. One great thing about life experience is that I realize when negative thought patterns are happening and how to redirect attempts at self sabotage.

We are what we think. If you keep telling yourself you aren’t worthy, it is likely not much worthwhile will happen. If you think poor, abundance will find others to bless. Nowadays, it is very difficult to keep your chin up and spit in the wind of gloom and doom. I said it is difficult, but not impossible. You (and I) have to just keep moving and know everything will work out in some way, shape, or form. The most powerful way to keep those positive embers burning is to really care for yourself. Take pride in what you do even if you think nobody else does. One of my great mantras right now is “It only takes ONE!” I am rolling this tape everyday in my head in regards to my job search. However, it can be applied to all things that bolster our spirit. It only takes one to make us smile. It only takes one to make us happy. It only takes one to keep our lives active and productive.
That ONE is YOU.

"LOVE YOURSELF"
Sheree Rensel
Acrylic / Mixed media
Click pic for detail (available for sale)

Art Blog: GAMES Artists Play

2011-12-22T11:57:00.005-05:00

I hate game shows. I can’t click the remote fast enough when any kind of “win megabucks” idiocy comes on the screen. I will admit. The other day I did watch a few minutes of the new “Who’s Still Standing” quiz show. I just wanted to see someone drop through the floor after losing. That is sophomoric, but funny. It was. I have been known to watch Jeopardy, but that is a different kind of animal. At least it keeps my brain cells moving.

A couple of years ago when Bravo announced the new show “Work of Art”, I was really interested. I thought it would be so exciting and informative to see artists work. I thought it would be a great chance for the public to really see artists in action. I thought it would be a true inside view of what it means to be an artist and how the art world works. I was wrong. That first season kept my attention for less than half the season. I ended up watching it in the same way I watch Biggest Loser. I watch the first episode or two and then watch the last ten minute of the finale show. I just wanted to see who wins. I didn’t care about all the stuff in between.

This is exactly how I approached Work of Art season 2. I would start to watch and accidentlly fall asleep (literally) or I would get so frustrated with the “blah, blah, blah of the artists or the yadda, yadda, yadda of the judges, I would just turn the channel. There would be times I couldn’t stand the stupidity of it. I mean ALL of it.

This isn’t good. I mean, I have been an artist all my life. I keep up with the art world machine. I worship other artists. Yet, I found Work of Art not only boring, but it pulled my understanding of art and artists off the pedestal. In fact, when I watched the season finale last night I realized this is a game show. If you think about it everything is the same with minor adjustments. Instead of giving a “final answer” to win the bucks, you have to make some pile of junk and then explain why it isn’t a pile of junk. I guess that is their final answer. LOL

Think about how similar Work of Art is to other reality, quiz, or competition shows. Instead of running to the train station ala Amazing Race contestants, the artists run around Manhattan looking for just the right art supplies or suckers to buy their instantaneously created crap. Work of Art always has their golden girls or boys. Each would have a lucky night to be the star of the show for that given episode. There were moments while watching WoA, I expected Drew Carey to pop out from behind one of the gallery walls and announce YOU ARE THE NEXT CONTESTANT ON PRICE IS RIGHT! I can’t compare WoA to “Are You Smarter Than a Fifth Grader?”. I think we all know the answer to that question. However, there is a kinship with the Wheel of Fortune. I mean isn’t that what being the next GREAT ARTIST is really about in the art world. The WoA artists stand in line for days, sit through interviews, and have their art scrutinized, poked, and prodded. Then some of them get picked to spin that wheel. They laugh, they cry, there are good sports and bad. Then in the end there is the million dollar winner (or in this case, $100K).
Oh boy, oh boy. Hip hip hooray and a pocket full of bologna.

During the final “crit”, I watched the three artists left on the show. I had a flashback to when I checked out the “Who’s Still Standing” show. I was kind of hoping the floor would give out from under them and they would all disappear. I don’t mean just the artists either. LOL

Art Blog: BE an ARTIST

2011-12-20T17:35:00.004-05:00

I remember a few years ago, I really wanted to finish my Ph.D. in Ed. Technology. I had started doctoral work in 2001, but then after a year I realized I was getting into so much debt, I needed to stop. I loved every minute of this experience. I love learning and taking classes. I excel and that makes me happy. Debt does not make me happy, so I stopped.

A few years later, I decided to try to find a way to make it happen. I would give it a second try. I just needed money. So I called around and made inquiries. I contacted one graduate school financial advisor via email to ask about grants and scholarships. I sent off an email that in condensed form said "HELP ME!" A day or so later, my telephone rang. It was the financial advisor working for the university.

Now before I go on, let me tell those of you who don't know. Financial advisors for universities are almost in the same category as bill collectors or used car salesmen. They are all balls and moxie. They are trained and toned at selling the product and getting you to sign on any dotted line that really isn't in your favor. I answered the phone and started talking to her. She started off by saying "Sheree, I realize you want to find a way to help pay to finish your grad degree, but I saw your artist link on your email. I went there. You are an artist. Why don't you BE AN ARTIST?" There was a very pregnant pause. I could hardly speak or respond. Her statement stunned me. Isn't she supposed to con me into some kind of impossible educational opportunity that will cost me more money than I can make before I die? Instead, words of golden truth came from her mouth. I ended the conversation with a quiet "OK" and left it that.

Flash forward five years: This morning in the shower, I kept coming up with one ART idea after another. I almost jumped out of the shower to grab a pen and paper. I need to write this stuff down! I thought "Wow, I am on fire today! I am experiencing a creative explosion!" The ideas were coming so fast and furious. I realized the cloud of LIFE was lifting. Even though it has only been a few days since I made my U TURN and quit my day job which was sucking the life out of me, the fuzz has already started to turn into crystal. I can see. I am an artist once again.

Now Sheree stands to the plate to drive the point home. For those of you who are artists or have some kind of passion that plays second fiddle to your day job, you have to make it work. I had a dream situation for about 15 years. However, that job changed so dramatically, I lost my artist identity. I brought the day job home. I dreamt about it. I worried about it. It was all consuming. This is not good. In fact, this is not acceptable. So now I have to find another way to support me and my art. I will. Everything will be OK. It will all work out because I have a mind of an artist.

This is my signature painting "Mind of an Artist"
It wasn't planned, it just happened.
I love it so much, I will never sell it.
It represents ME and everything I am.
What is on your MIND?
Click pic for detail

Art Blog: Our Most Valuable ASSET

2011-12-18T19:04:00.006-05:00

Here we go again..........I have a truckload of teaching stuff stashed in one room and then today, I started cleaning out my second studio. Since my first studio is small, I sit and look at the boxes and realize I have too much STUFF. It is time to get rid of some of it or I won't be able to make art. There won't be room.

It feels good to start to gather everything and put it in one place. It is like I am callin in the chips. I want to see it all together and decide what is really important to me. The rest has to go. One thing that I am learning fast is what is really important in my life. We all accumulate objects, stuff, and things constantly. Over time the pile gets bigger and bigger and bigger. We think we NEED this stuff. We really don't. One thing I notice as I sort though the piles are what I consider a priority. I will never get rid of any art supplies or anything I can use to be creative. I notice I get rid of utilitarian items first. I don't need that 4th fan or the 5th bookshelf from the Salvation Army. I don't need tons of jars and zillions of containers in which to CONTAIN things. (I will admit, I have some kind of weird box and container fetish. Shoeboxes, cigar boxes, plastic tubs, pencil cases, wood boxes of any kind, etc.) It is like a sickness. I have EMPTY boxes and butter tubs that I seem to want to hold on to just because I might have something to
put in them one day................DUH!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Seeing all this junk in one place makes me realize, see, and be able to touch my assets. Meager, but at least I have accumulated things that represent a life. LOL Yet, as I look at the boxes and piles of stuff, I realize so much of this is meaningless in the true sense of my world. Yes, I have lots of stuff to make art. I have a place to put the stuff. I have a history with all this stuff.

However, none of it means as much to me as ME. I am my truest asset. As long as I can walk, talk, think, and smile, that is the most important thing to me. I can get more or less stuff. ME is a one time deal. WE are our most important asset. I hope you remember this. In the meantime, I have to start to clean and organize once again. Here we go. I have to attack the piles of STUFF....................

I haven't had time to make a new studio mess video. Here is an old one. It is all the same. LOL Click pic to see how I clean up messes!!!!!!!!!! LOL

Art Blog: Don't Worry, Be Happy

2011-12-17T11:28:00.007-05:00

I quit my job yesterday. I quit my job yesterday. I quit my job yesterday. Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, be quiet Sheree. Stop it. I am sitting here trying to enjoy the external silence, but my mind is screaming loudly. I can't believe I did this. FINALLY! This has been a long time coming. I just didn't make it happen sooner. I blame myself. I have worked in the same room for over 18 years. One time I did a time study and realized I had spent more time in that one room than anywhere else in my entire life. My last day there will be January 20, 2012. Wow.

Even though this is such a huge risk, I don't care. I had to do this for my own well being. I am not going to go into specifics, but this past year has been a beat down. Seriously, I have felt like I am being tasered on the hour. My nerves are shot. I haven't been able to sleep. I have been getting terrible headaches. I can't really do a great job because of the circumstances. I know myself very well. I am a Type-A, worker bee. I thrive on achievement. If I can't do wonderful work in at least a minimally, appreciative environment then Sheree isn't happy.

So now it is time to get Sheree happy again.

One of the very positive things I noticed this morning is there is an actual ending. I have a specific date when it will be over. I wonder what will happen next? It is almost like I have gotten my future back. Some might say I wrecked my future by quitting. I don't see it that way at all. I see a blank canvas (of life) waiting for me to fill it up with new marks and colors.

I am not in panic mode yet. I might not ever allow myself to get anxious about this life decision. I have been taking care of myself for a very long time. I doubt I would let anything bad happen to me at this point. I saw this "short life" quote on Facebook today. It says exactly what I feel right now. When I am done with my QUIET time, I am going to shout this quote as loud as I can and then smile because it is the truth!

PERFECT!

Art Blog: There is a Season

2011-12-14T17:32:00.004-05:00

I remember when I was younger and just starting to make my way into the art world. I was just as puffed up as any beginning artist. I was going to change the world! It is interesting to see how things have panned out in my art life. I am not complaining. I have had a great art life so far.

No, I am not in major museums or showing at Art Basel right now. I am just an artist making art and knowing I should continue to do so. Nobody is celebrating me. There are no high fives or accolades. I am just an artist doing what I am supposed to do. That is: MAKE ART. In other words, I am in the artist’s 99%. I am just like most other artists.

When I was working towards my first art degree, one artist among others Georgia O’Keefe was all the rage. In 1970, the Whitney Museum of American Art exhibited the Georgia O'Keeffe Retrospective Exhibition. This was big news back then and we all heard about it. It was her first major show since 1946. In other words, it took 24 years for her work to be shown in a grand and respectable way. 24 years! Let’s not mention the Stieglitz connection. No. Let’s pretend. Her works were shown at the Whitney just because she was Georgia and her works were brilliant. YES. Let’s think that.

Within just a couple of years, things started to sour for Georgia. She started to lose her eyesight. Enter, Juan Hamilton, the young artist assistant. There was all kinds of drama and speculation with this scenario. I don’t care about any of it. What I always wondered about was the isolation of Ghost Ranch and how she shut the world out during her later years.

Now, I relate. When I first started to learn about Georgia, I just couldn’t get it. I could not understand being all alone in the desert of New Mexico. However, I was young, naïve, and in my twenties. The social aspects of any artist’s life were in full force. I needed the drama and action of every art opening I could attend. I needed those human connections. I needed the praise. I needed the commotion of being an artist in full color. Georgia didn’t need that. I didn’t understand how she could stand to be so isolated back then. I do now.

All that social stuff is meaningless to me now. I sure don’t live on anything near akin to Ghost Ranch. In fact, I live in a neighborhood of a midsize city. However, there have been days when I actually posted signs on my front door saying: “GO AWAY!” I just don’t need any of the attention anymore. I want to be alone art wise. I am over that social hump I guess. Just like everything else in life, there is a season. I am in the season of introspection, self appreciation, creativity, and WHO CARES WHAT OTHERS think. I am not that unusual. I think there are others who might understand. I know for sure Georgia would be giving me a high five right now.

What do you really want out of your art life?
Tell me.

Art Blog: What INSPIRES You?

2011-12-09T17:05:00.008-05:00

One of the things that has bothered me in recent years is the lack of true art inspiration. It might just be my own problem. It might be my age (been there, done that). It might be that I have seen so much art, my brain if full now. I don’t know.

In recent months, I have tried in a diligent way to peruse and search for art that makes the hair on my arms stand up. This experience is rare to nil right now. What is going on here? I don’t know. Maybe I am just a stick-in-the-mud curmudgeon. Maybe I am becoming an artistic Andy Rooney or something. I really don’t know.

I remember a time when I would go to New York for the weekend and visit museums. OMG!! Standing in front of Picasso’s
Guernica made me weak in the knees. Seriously, I really felt like I was witnessing a miracle. I might as well been standing in the Lourdes grotto seeing a vision of the Virgin Mary. That is the magnitude of my awe. Could it be that this was an experience felt because I was so young and inexperienced? I long for that feeling again.

I had visceral feelings when I viewed any Antoni Tàpies painting too. I am not even sure why. I know I love the texture and complicated, simplicity of his work. Yet, my own work is so different. Still, I love it and get such a gut reaction when I see it.

I guess what I am talking about is the longing for inspiration in a very deep way. I am not talking about wanting to be inspired to do my own work. I do that regardless. I am really speaking about a yearning to feel the heroic nature of art. I long for the feeling for art on high. It is not just a product you sell on Etsy. It is not something you make to sell under a tent. It isn't even something that is sold at a pretentious art fair to collectors who have more money than true interest in art. It is something so much more than that. It is a spiritual, emotional, and physical phenomenon that takes you to a new and better place.

Yes. I know you can’t take that to the bank. I know times and mind sets have changed. Still, I want that feeling again. Maybe I am an old lady with old ideas. I guess I am uselessly old school. I don’t care. I love seeing art that makes me want to make more art of my own because I want someone, even one person to feel that feeling when they see something I have created.

I will shut up and leave you all with one more inspirational piece. This one might be of great value to my psyche because I have taken the time to learn about the artist and her life. When I see her work, I shake with admiration. I can only wish I could measure up. She lived for her art life, good and bad. There were many other lovers, but the winner was named ART. Alice Neel is one of my art heros.

What art inspires you? What art makes you quiver? Think about it.

Art Blog: Climate of FEAR

2011-12-08T17:42:00.004-05:00

Brace yourselves because it is going to be a bumpy ride!!!!!!!!!! I have said this before. One of the great things about getting older is you have lived through bunches of stuff. Over the years, you pocket those memories and experiences. Then, all of a sudden a day comes when you feel almost like you’re feeling a déjà vu. OH. I have been here before!

Let me tell you. Things are not good right now. OK. Let me be more positive. Things are very different and you better prepare. The youngsters out there will not feel the differences. They know what they have lived. So their future will be…………well, the status quo. However, those of us who are not young, see huge changes in our lives, lifestyle, and overall well being. I don’t want to predict or even acknowledge impending doom. I just want to suggest getting prepared for an attitude readjustment.

As anybody who reads this blog already knows, I have been searching for a new life for a while now. I am on it too. EVERY single day, I come home and start my job search. I am reading advertisements. I am looking at Mapquest maps. I am using the calculator to figure out how much money I will not get. I am reading online reviews of job venues. I am applying for any job that reasonably fits my skill set. This is the scary part. Many of the jobs I am qualified for have stepped down their pay scale dramatically. I have noticed this once, twice, three times, etc. In fact, some of the jobs that were there five years ago are VOLUNTEER jobs now. In other words, things, they are a changin…………

Here is a perfect example. There is one job I considered that requires a Masters Degree. In the job description, you are required to plan a couple national education conferences, supervise a number of staff educators and interns. You have to be tech savvy. You have to be able to coordinate and create educational programs, yadda, yadda, yadda…………………..top pay: $35K. Are you kidding me? I live in Podunk, Florida and live in a podunk, bungalow house. My mortgage is 12K per year. After taxes a 35K job might bring in about 25/28K per year if the tax collector is in a good mood. Holy Macaroni! This is crazy time!

Over and over again, I see this happening. Meanwhile back at the ranch, those that have jobs are hearing stuff like “You have to do this, this, this, and oh did I forget, that too!” Nevermind contract obligations. You are supposed to do all this stuff because you don’t want to lose the precious job you have (and if you don’t do what we say, you are going to be thrust into the hell of unemployment because you are a BAD employee!) It is all about creating a climate of fear now. In other words, employment wars are in full force right now. Many of these low paying jobs would be perfect for a rich person wanting to slum or someone with an affluent spouse. Those types of people have much more leeway. Too bad I don’t. ………………
BTW Is there any rich, old guy who is in need of a dilettante wife?? LOL

CONTACT wizzlewolf

You got that right!

Click pic for detail view

Art Blog: Having it ALL?

2011-12-04T12:34:00.011-05:00

It is hard for me to write right now. So many things are buzzing around my head. I signed the check for my LAST month of studio 2 rent. I am being pulled in every direction. I LOVE my downtown studio, but in many ways I can’t see the point. For economic reasons alone (Suze Orman would kill me!), it isn't a feasible decision to keep it. I can’t get into all the other details, but just like the rest of my art life, it is time for a change.

This is easy in one way. I have two studios. One is my downtown St. Pete Studio 2. The other is my Studio 1. This one is attached to my house. I actually work at my home studio more. It is far more convenient and practical. Yet, there is this little voice inside me that continues to whine. I am ignoring it. I have signed the check and put the note in the envelope saying “I am not renewing my lease.”

It is so weird and ironic. I had this exact studio in 2001. After a year, I left because I bought a house with an attached studio space. I couldn’t afford both. Last December I realized I had the studio at my house, but I have become a hermit of an artist. I did participate in art exhibitions and lived out my art life, but I was not part of any art scene at all. This is why I rented my downtown studio. I wanted to be a part of some kind of art community. I wanted to be a bit more social and be more visual in my St. Pete home. I am not sure my year long experiment was a success. Yes, I have made a few art friends and contacts. Yet, I confirmed that I am not a social creature and that will never change. I love the quiet and loneliness of my home studio. I don’t regret my ArtLofts experience at all. I learned about myself. I am just fine, do quite well, and in some ways do better living my eremite lifestyle.

In fact, this is one of the reasons I decided to ditch studio 2. I am what I am. I like being alone and that is OK. I keep saying I am looking for a new life. Downsizing, looking for a new job, prepping for changes and most importantly, taking care of me is paramount. This little change will help to open the door to new things to come into my art life. This is what makes Sheree healthy and happy.

“Red Cross”
Acrylic on Canvas
10” x 8”
Sheree Rensel
(Click pic for detail)

Art Blog: Embers at the Emerald

2011-11-26T11:19:00.006-05:00

As my art life journey proceeds, I stop and catch glimpses of the sights and sounds of my current St. Pete world. This past year, I have spent a lot of time downtown at my studio trying to stop the relentless feeling of being an odd duck in this tropical pond. I have had an open mind and embraced the things that I favor. I love driving down Central Ave. It has a history and atmosphere that I love. I was heartbroken when I read reviews of the recent art fair held here last week. A few exhibitors wrote things like:

“The neighborhood is a business district that looks like its seen better days, like maybe 50 years ago. The storefronts on the block I was set up on were a mix of vintage clothing, tattoos, a used record store and a quick mart advertising "cigarettes and beer!"

After reading that I screamed “SHUT UP!!” Well, actually there were a few curse words too, but I will leave those out here. This is one of the reasons I have never felt comfortable down here in touristville. It is too nicey, nicey, prim, proper, and kind of boring for lack of better words. (Remember, I am still a gritty, industrial Dee-troit old girl. I am of the era of “Kick Out the Jams Mother F……..”…you know the rest. I like “rough around the edges”.) LOL In fact, those same old buildings, alternative shops run by tattooed, purple haired proprietors is a cool thing about downtown St. Pete. At least I think so.

Shortly after reading the negative reviews, synchronicity struck again. Somebody on Facebook put out a photo album of an artist meetup downtown. I looked at the photos and flashes of my own past rushed at me. I remember my days in Detroit art bars surrounded by all my young, brash, artist friends. That was long ago. We were so puffed up and ready to take on the world. The pics of the St. Pete artists reminded me of loving art for art sake. Back then we all felt so edgy and bold. There was a kind of boastful spirit when we would identify ourselves as ARTISTS. I still exude that same pretense to this day.

Ironically, this morning I got a FB invite to an art opening. The show is called “ArtWars at the Emerald”. It is the same artists I saw in the photo album. As I watched the promotional video, I smirked as each young artist explained what art is to them. I love their boldness and even their naïveté is refreshing. It dawned on me as I watched. This is one thing St. Petersburg needs. It needs more verve and spark. I see these young artists as the warm, glowing embers that could ignite a whole new heatwave of art thinking here in the ‘burg. I am not expecting a bonfire, but a few fresh flames would be good to see. I wish them all great good luck with their show and their art lives. If you live in the area, check out their upcoming exhibition. Details below:

(Click to watch video)

“ArtWars at the Emerald”
Friday, January 27, 2012 at 8:00pm
The Emerald Bar
550 Central Avenue
Saint Petersburg, FL 33701