tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22486064164780457642026-04-08T05:04:52.599-05:00The Daily Bernhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07153898406230064387noreply@blogger.comBlogger418125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2248606416478045764.post-58880289225906432342025-05-19T13:43:00.003-05:002025-05-19T13:43:49.015-05:00

     "I'm not fat, I'm just big boned"...      We've all heard this at some point, but have any of us ever believed it? Do any of us actually believe that some people actually have sturdy husky skeletons? I don't believe that we believe that and I don't believe that you believe we do either.     So, since we have established that no one is

The Daily Bernhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07153898406230064387noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2248606416478045764.post-77394820881498781542025-05-16T11:37:00.003-05:002025-05-16T11:37:25.365-05:00

     Do you ever wonder why men do stupid things? Is it just because they are fun and/or exciting?    Maybe not...      Maybe, just maybe now, it's because we just need that little rush that it gives us.  Maybe that's what being truly alive really even is. The danger of exposure to danger itself. The threat of being caught

The Daily Bernhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07153898406230064387noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2248606416478045764.post-41553905875028757812025-05-15T07:30:00.002-05:002025-05-15T14:17:29.383-05:00

Me, doing nothing.     I'm not going to do anything today. Just to clarify my stance on  this I have compiled the following list of 7 things that I'm not going to do. Enjoy at your own leisure or don't I simply do not care. 1. I'm not going to mow the lawn      Not mine, not anyone else's. I'm not going to mow the lawn because it doesn't need to be cut anyway

The Daily Bernhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07153898406230064387noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2248606416478045764.post-23917905736263949282017-03-23T19:17:00.000-05:002017-03-23T19:18:34.005-05:00

I do a lot of failing.  So much so in fact you'd think I'd be a little better at it by now.  Unfortunately that's not the case.  I'm terrible at it actually. The worst.  I'm a big baby about it too and I annoy my wife all of the time with my constant whining and anxiety attacks.  You might think I would have developed a thicker skin and higher tolerance for what it is

The Daily Bernhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07153898406230064387noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2248606416478045764.post-49823285302621560162017-03-19T17:05:00.002-05:002017-03-19T20:47:22.243-05:00

I haven't been here for a little while. I was trying out a different approach because, quite frankly, I wasn't getting the results that I was looking for here. I was getting decent traffic but no interaction. So, I started over with a new site. I got really serious and set out to make the new blog what I had always hoped this one would be. The more serious that I got about making it

The Daily Bernhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07153898406230064387noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2248606416478045764.post-28058582180103799992016-07-15T07:30:00.000-05:002016-07-15T07:30:02.604-05:00

Three contractors are bidding to fix a broken fence at the White House. One is from Chicago, another is from Tennessee, and the third is from Minnesota. All three go with a White House official to examine the fence. The Minnesota contractor takes out a tape measure and does some measuring, then works some figures with a pencil. "Well," he says, "I figure the job will run about $900. $400 for

The Daily Bernhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07153898406230064387noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2248606416478045764.post-37421243230333941072016-07-08T08:00:00.000-05:002016-07-08T08:00:15.361-05:00

After being married for twenty years to his lover, a gay man dies. When the funeral arrangements have been set, the widower approaches the undertaker with a peculiar request, "I know we had plans to cremate his body, but will you please chop him up and put him in a extra spicy curry instead?" The undertaker asks, "Why would you want that?" The gay widower replies, "So he will blow my ass out one

The Daily Bernhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07153898406230064387noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2248606416478045764.post-40110646354024804882016-07-01T08:00:00.000-05:002016-07-01T08:00:14.710-05:00

So there's a black guy, a white guy, and a Mexican. They find a genie's lamp, they rub it, and poof appears the genie! The genie goes to the black guy and asks, "What's your one wish?" The black guy goes, "I wish for me and all my people to be back in Africa, happy and everything." So poof! His wish is granted. Then, the genie goes to the Mexican and asks, "What's your one wish?" The Mexican goes

The Daily Bernhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07153898406230064387noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2248606416478045764.post-38016968460121960142016-06-24T07:30:00.000-05:002016-06-24T07:30:01.108-05:00

There was this homeless drunk dude laying in an alley talking out loud saying, "I wish had another drink." He then passed out. As he was saying that, a gay dude was walking by and heard him. When the gay guy came back, he f*cked the homeless guy and put three dollars in his pocket. The homeless dude woke up later and found the money, ran to the liquor store, and said, "Give me the cheapest half

The Daily Bernhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07153898406230064387noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2248606416478045764.post-39426813266269557582016-06-17T07:30:00.000-05:002016-06-17T07:30:00.908-05:00

A teacher is teaching a class and she sees that Johnny isn't paying attention, so she asks him, "If there are three ducks sitting on a fence, and you shoot one, how many are left?" Johnny says, "None." The teacher asks, "Why?" Johnny says, "Because the shot scared them all off." The teacher says, "No, two, but I like how you're thinking." Johnny asks the teacher, "If you see three women

The Daily Bernhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07153898406230064387noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2248606416478045764.post-64063923124237525542016-06-10T07:30:00.000-05:002016-06-10T07:30:06.548-05:00

Three guys go to a ski lodge, and there aren't enough rooms, so they have to share a bed. In the middle of the night, the guy on the right wakes up and says, "I had this wild, vivid dream of getting a hand job!" The guy on the left wakes up, and unbelievably, he's had the same dream, too. Then the guy in the middle wakes up and says, "That's funny, I dreamed I was skiing!"

The Daily Bernhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07153898406230064387noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2248606416478045764.post-53198654686897793572016-06-06T07:30:00.000-05:002016-06-06T07:30:09.916-05:00

     We wanted to find out if women liked playful light nibbling during sex.  I like it, do you like it?  If you don't, do you hate it?  Or is it just OK or maybe you just think that it's wrong to nibble on your partner?      Well we just didn't know what was right and we wanted to find out so today at Laughing at Life 2 we're going to dive right

The Daily Bernhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07153898406230064387noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2248606416478045764.post-77590177206481348612016-06-03T07:30:00.000-05:002016-06-03T07:30:01.508-05:00

Jill goes home one night with a guy she met at a club. He's tall, super hot, and seems different than most guys she meets. They arrive at his place and head straight to his room. Jill can't help but notice a shelf full of teddy bears. On the bottom are small teddy bears, on the middle are medium-sized teddy bears, and finally, on the top are large teddy bears, all lined up beside each other.

The Daily Bernhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07153898406230064387noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2248606416478045764.post-77533895144398725072016-05-27T07:30:00.000-05:002016-05-27T07:30:02.444-05:00

I was at my bank today waiting in a short line. There was just one lady in front of me, an Asian lady, who was trying to exchange yen for dollars. It was obvious she was a little irritated. She asked the teller, "Why it change? Yesterday, I get two hunat dolla of yen. Today I only get hunat eighty? Why it change?" The teller shrugged his shoulders and said, "Fluctuations." The Asian lady says,

The Daily Bernhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07153898406230064387noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2248606416478045764.post-74278579537026658142016-05-20T07:30:00.000-05:002016-05-20T07:30:02.781-05:00

There is an overweight guy who is watching TV. A commercial comes on for a guaranteed weight loss of 10 pounds in a week. So the guy, thinking what the hell, signs up for it. Next morning an incredibly beautiful woman is standing at his door in nothing but a pair of running shoes and a sign about her neck that reads, "If you can catch me, you can have me." As soon as he sees her, she takes off

The Daily Bernhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07153898406230064387noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2248606416478045764.post-9727815175008594662016-05-16T07:30:00.000-05:002016-05-21T11:06:35.252-05:00

     I hate people. Ideally I would never deal with them at all but we do not live in an ideal world. In my day I have worked quite a few customer service jobs, which are the worst jobs in the USA if you didn't know that. I have always thought it was very odd that a job that requires such immense self control would be higher paying but nope. Customer service jobs are

The Daily Bernhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07153898406230064387noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2248606416478045764.post-5944858277841139222016-05-13T19:22:00.000-05:002016-05-13T19:22:05.516-05:00

A married couple are out one night at a dance club. There’s a guy on the dance floor giving it large: break dancing, moon walking, back flips, the works. The wife turns to her husband and says, "See that guy? Twenty years ago he proposed to me and I turned him down." The husband says, "Looks like he’s still celebrating!"

The Daily Bernhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07153898406230064387noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2248606416478045764.post-62805630552773481952016-05-13T11:41:00.000-05:002016-05-13T11:41:01.204-05:00

There was a preacher who fell in the ocean and he couldn't swim. When a boat came by, the captain yelled, "Do you need help, sir?" The preacher calmly said "No, God will save me." A little later, another boat came by and a fisherman asked, "Hey, do you need help?" The preacher replied again, "No God will save me." Eventually the preacher drowned & went to heaven. The preacher asked God, "

The Daily Bernhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07153898406230064387noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2248606416478045764.post-67586159382606105582016-05-06T07:30:00.000-05:002016-05-06T07:30:07.725-05:00

A boy is selling fish on a corner. To get his customers' attention, he is yelling, "Dam fish for sale! Get your dam fish here!" A pastor hears this and asks, "Why are you calling them 'dam fish.'" The boy responds, "Because I caught these fish at the local dam." The pastor buys a couple fish, takes them home to his wife, and asks her to cook the dam fish. The wife responds surprised, "I didn't

The Daily Bernhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07153898406230064387noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2248606416478045764.post-14845584322244722312016-05-02T07:30:00.000-05:002016-05-02T07:30:04.664-05:00

     We all want to succeed nowadays but succeeding is really super hard to do and the truth is we can't all do it. We all want to win but to win someone needs to lose. It's just math. So, we want to be the winners and not the losers. As Donald Trump will tell you losers suck and we hate them. So we want to win. Luckily for you guys I win all day and I have decided to

The Daily Bernhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07153898406230064387noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2248606416478045764.post-15041389276411497722016-04-30T08:00:00.000-05:002016-04-30T08:00:10.143-05:00

Z Is A Good Day To Buy Her Jewelry      Z is a good day to discuss the obvious, girls like jewelry so go out and buy her some jewelry. Ladies really love jewelry, I think it goes back to being treated like a Queen. Queen's love jewelry too so it could be they really are queens. Either that or they just love shiny expensive things. I do not know but I

The Daily Bernhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07153898406230064387noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2248606416478045764.post-91356926952046138392016-04-29T09:24:00.000-05:002016-04-29T09:24:03.630-05:00

A man was having premature ejaculation problems so he went to the doctor. The doctor said, "When you feel like you are getting ready to ejaculate, try startling yourself." That same day the man went to the store and bought himself a starter pistol and ran home to his wife. That night the two were having sex and found themselves in the 69 position. The man felt the urge to ejaculate and fired

The Daily Bernhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07153898406230064387noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2248606416478045764.post-80040608554234134802016-04-29T08:00:00.000-05:002016-04-29T08:00:04.079-05:00

Yell Out Loud That You Love Her      You don't have to literally yell it from the rooftops but a big gesture is in order to make an impression. Do something huge to show her that you love her. Show everybody. Do something for her to let her know that you love her and are proud of her too. She will love it.

The Daily Bernhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07153898406230064387noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2248606416478045764.post-65226094498124658432016-04-28T08:00:00.001-05:002016-04-28T08:00:07.510-05:00

X Is For The Day You Mail Her A Love Letter      X is the hardest letter and I just didn't have time for any X today. I thought of one thing to do for your girl that I haven't said yet. Mail her a love letter 50's style through the regular old fashioned mail box. She will love that shit for absolutely sure. That shit will get kept in a fancy box forever too. Making memories

The Daily Bernhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07153898406230064387noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2248606416478045764.post-6379428042528995792016-04-27T08:00:00.001-05:002016-04-27T08:00:00.989-05:00

Whisper In Her Ear      When someone whispers in your ear it tingles sexy. That is why you should whisper things in her ear often. It's sexy. It's fun too. Just make sure your breath smells good before you do it or it can backfire on you. Bad breath will kill it and dry things right up for you.

The Daily Bernhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07153898406230064387noreply@blogger.com0