SOME EXPERIMENT COULD BE DANGEROUS

A Must Read...THE PASTOR WHO ADVISED HUSBANDS TO STOP WASTING THEIR TIME PRAYING.

2017-09-16T10:11:00.001+01:00

photo credit: parkcitybc

It has been said, the family that prays together stays together. I think it takes more than just praying together for a family to stay together. I think it takes learning to love, and forgive, and choose each other amongst a host of other things, but that is for another post. I want to think about family prayer. I believe there is awesome power in prayer, because prayer is making requests of Jesus, who has all power. Let me ask you something, does your family pray together?

Do you thank God for your food before you eat? Do you “say your prayers” when you put your children to bed? Has anyone in your family “caught” you praying, maybe opened a door not knowing
you were there and discovered you on your knees in prayer? Parents, if you want your children to know you believe in prayer, what better way than for them to see and hear you praying.

Take a little moment to read and reflect on your past relationship with your spouse. How has loving and interesting has it been? Can you beat your chest and boost of having a peaceful and loving home?
However, read what a pastor advised his male church members about praying, and the out come.

THE PASTOR WHO ADVISED HUSBANDS TO STOP WASTING THEIR TIME PRAYING!!!

Benson and his wife don't sit next to each other during Church services.

Even when going t...o Church services, they go in different vehicles; and when they travel in the same car, it is usually a very quiet and uncomfortable ride.

Benson sat at his usual spot in the Church service; the fourth line on the far left row. His wife sat on the center row.

The Pastor took to the podium.

*"Husbands, stop wasting your time praying"* the Pastor began.

The congregants got alarmed. No one expects to hear a pastor saying prayer is a waste of time.

I am not here to discourage you to pray, but to encourage you to pray right.

Husbands, stop wasting your time praying if you are not treating your wives well.

You come to church driving your expensive cars, giving your offerings and tithes, active in Church, some of you are Church leaders; but how are you treating your wife?

You may look good to us Church members, but it is your wife and children that know who you truly are" said the Pastor.

Benson turned to face his wife. She looked at him. Benson could see her eyes.

Her left eye swollen from the blow he gave her last week when she confronted him about his alcoholism, pornography use and mischievous behavior.

People couldn't tell she had a black eye because of the make up she had on, so well done.

The Pastor continued, "People have perfected the art of cover up. Here in Church, so many are hurting but you wouldn't know.

People come here wearing their nice clothes, shiny smiles, they are active in ministry but hurting a lot in their marriage.

"We have become numb and plastic, brushing things under the carpet. But today we shall heal; and shall address those wounds we hide."

The Pastor cleared his throat and continued, "Many of those who are hurting their spouses are using the church to hide.

They think that because they give offering s and tithes, because they make public prayers, because they read the Word or because they hold a Church leadership position that they are right with God. God is also interested in what you do in your marriage and in your family.

The Word says that when you treat your wife badly, it hinders your prayers. Men, you claim to be prayerful?

Hear this, "Your first ministry is your home. Stop trying to blackmail God with your service in Church yet you are mean and hurtful towards your spouse."

Many of the members of the congregation got restless and unsettled.

The Pastor continued, "Many of those who are being hurt by their spouse hide their pain and want to project an image that all is well to validate that they are blessed and in control.

Some of you are active in Church to run away from the pain in your marriages".

The congregation was silent. Some straightening their ties, others fidgeting with their Bibles, adjusting their sitting position.

This pastor was preaching truth and it was uncomfortable.

The Pastor continued, "The husbands are not the only ones guilty here... Wives, don't you know the Word says when your husband found you he found good virtuous woman and you brought favour?

Then why are you the source of your husband's headache and stress? Have you been so toxic that you have turned your prayerful husband into a prayer-less one?

Do you make him regret marrying you because you bring more complications than he had before marrying you?

How you treat your husband can be a stumbling block in his walk with God or an environment that encourages growth.

Many of you wives married your individual husbands primarily because of their relationship with God, so why are you now destroying their relationship with God instead of celebrating and nurturing it?

Why are you being a burden to your husband emotionally, spiritually, socially, sexually and financially instead of being one who brings favour?"

Benson's wife looked at her husband. Benson looked at her, and she looked away.

The Pastor paused to drink his glass of water.

And he continued, "When I am thirsty, I drink a glass of water.

When your spouse gets thirsty, will you allow God to use you to bless your spouse?

You've been told many sermons that focus on you as an individual, that God will make you prosper as an individual.

I am here to tell you your blessings are tied to people, you are blessed to be a blessing to others. Our God is not an individualistic God.

Your blessing is tied to your marriage, your family. It's not about you; it is about Jesus and Jesus is about love.

What good is it to prosper and be successful when you have no love? It is all vanity.

God cares about your family, how you treat your spouse and children"

Silence. Silence. Silence...

"Yes, we pray. But what kind of prayers does your spouse pray because of you?

When your spouse prays, is it largely to cry to God because of the hurt you bring?

Is it to plead with God to change you from the monster you've become?

Is it to plead for grace to deal with how difficult you are? Or is to give thanks for you?"

Silence. Silence as grave yard

"Are you really prayerful? Do you really value prayer? What is prayer?

Then why is it that many of you find it easy to come to us pastors for us to pray with you as an individual, you find it is easy to pray in public, in a Church service or Bible study, but find it so hard to pray with your spouse?

Isn't that telling of what is going on in your marriage? Don't you know that the more you pray with your spouse the stronger your marriage will be?

But how can you find it easy to pray with a spouse you hurt or who hurts you?"

The Pastor paused and looked at the congregation. Eyes staring at him.

"I challenge you. I challenge you to pray with your spouse and to treat your spouse well. You must save your home, your marriage, your love!

Husbands, you are the head of the home. I challenge you to stand up and go to where your wife is and pray with her as a start of a more prayerful chapter in your marriage.

Don't do it because I asked you to but because you want to. Your choice"

One by one, the husbands present stood up.

Benson stood up too.

Benson walked to where his wife was.

The face of Benson's wife overwhelmed with love, she looked on as her husband walked to her.

She almost stood up but he gave hand gestures at her to stay seated.

Benson reached where she sat. Their eyes met.

Benson knelt down. He stared at her then kissed her swollen left eye.

"I am sorry" he said.

"Can I pray with you?" He asked.

She got up from her seat and knelt down too.

There, on the floor as the Church service was still ongoing, husbands prayed with their wives.

Benson prayed kneeling with his wife.

They prayed for forgiveness, for thanksgiving, for love, for renewal, for peace, for direction; for their marriage.

Marriages were healed.

If You have been blessed by this message please share. You might just be saving a marriage at the verge of being broken.

Culled from: thekingstreasure

20 Questions That Could Strengthen Your Relationship

2017-08-17T10:59:00.000+01:00

20 Questions That Could Strengthen Your Relationship ... and why every relationship needs a balance of security and unpredictability.

Most intimate couples work hard to keep their relationship functioning and secure. They try to avoid conflicts that threaten their partnership and do everything they can to make their partner a high priority. And they honor an ongoing
commitment to keep their relationship harmonious and compatible.

The downside to this focus on safety and security is that it can backfire. Couples who rely too much on heightening their successes and ignoring their inherent dissatisfactions may end up facing a different problem. A relationship without risks or significant challenges can dampen out the intrigue and excitement that accompany unpredictability. Relationship thoughts and behaviors that are too predictable can threaten a couple’s capacity for the passion and novelty that comes with uncertainty.

Relying on predictable patterns and rituals may make intimate partners more comfortable in moments of calm but they will not prepare them well for the unexpected challenges that are part of every intimate relationship. When crises come, as they do, security-oriented couples move as quickly as they can to restore equanimity. In doing so, they miss the opportunity to uncover and upend their buried dissatisfactions. If, instead, they use disruptions to transcend the limits of their prior relationship, they can reclaim the passion and intrigue they had when their love was new. The goal of any relationship should be to continually balance certainty with the excitement of new ways of looking at their connection.

A major reason couples don't take risks is that they are fearful of encountering any negative, repeated, locked-in attitudes, feelings, and behaviors that they may have swept under the rug. Challenging inbred or innate attitudes might threaten the stability of a relationship—an action that poses a great risk to many couples.

The comfort that comes from pretending that everything is OK can eclipse the underlying adversity that emerges when it is exposed. For instance, a family member heavily disliked by one partner may not be a problem until that family member moves to the same neighborhood. Without having practiced the skills to actively address such a risk to their compatibility, a couple may not be able to handle this kind of unexpected challenge.

The first step in rebalancing security with risk is for both partners to realize what locked-in opinions or behaviors they have ignored in favor of comfort. The second step is to explore where those thoughts and behaviors originated and how deeply entrenched they are. Both partners need to ask of themselves, and each other, what ideas, opinions, and behaviors they've never challenged. What, for instance, are the social, political, religious, sexual, familial, financial, and emotional issues that each partner holds dear? Which have been suppressed for fear they would not be accepted or embraced by the other partner?

An unwillingness to challenge the limits of a relationship is one of the most common drivers of boredom between intimate partners. When they maximize their compatibility by minimizing their differences, their relationship becomes stale. They stop having exciting and passionate dialogue, stop desiring to learn more about the other, and cease searching for different ways to look at life and at each other.

If that is happening in your relationship, it may be time for a new type of dialogue to bring back the innovation and novelty you experienced when your love was new. Encourage each other to challenge some of the opinions and behaviors you've been afraid to address. These explorations may uncover or even create discontent, but they will open up new dialogue that can offer you renewed interest, intrigue, and excitement.

Not Just for Long-Term Partners

You should strive to create and preserve a balance of security and risk in any relationship you begin. This is especially true on today's dating scene, where many individuals know very little about each other before they meet. Unfortunately, if you are like most relationship seekers, you might be reluctant to take risks at the beginning of a relationship by trying to secure probabilities and comfort too soon.

Even though it may be counterintuitive, your relationships will be more successful if you're authentic and open about your attitudes and opinions from the beginning. Once you become too invested or involved with someone, you may become too risk-averse to reveal these. Many people become more careful about behaving in any way that might alienate the other person once they become more attached to outcome. Stay courageous and open; if the relationship works, it will for all the right reasons. If it doesn’t, it’s better to know that sooner rather than later.

Many couples, new and long-term, ask me how they can get to know each other more deeply and achieve more depth in their relationships. They are often eager to ignite a new relationship or reinvigorate one that feels stale.

There are many ways to challenge the limitations of a relationship. Here is one interesting way to explore this idea—a sentence-completion questionnaire that can be fun for new and old partners to complete and share. When both partners answer authentically, they can challenge each other’s thoughts and feelings to better understand and enhance their relationship. They can add new sentences as their relationship progresses, or return to the same ones again as their relationship matures.

Ask your partner to join you in filling in the following blanks and then honestly tell each other why you answered the way you did. Be sure to share how those feelings and thoughts originated in your lives before you met each other, and give examples of how they have affected your past relationships. Share how each of your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors are open to discussion or negotiation, even those that you find hard to change.

When you finish, you will know what you can expect of your partner as your relationship matures. Remember: You're seeking to maintain a balance of security and risk for the rest of your relationship, so be as honest as you can.
Men think of women as ______________________________________.
Women think of men as ______________________________________.
Relationships work out because the partners ___________________.
Relationships fail because _____________________________.
Love is __________________________________________________.
In order to have a great relationship, women must ________________.
In order to have a great relationship, men must ________________.
The hardest thing about an intimate relationship is _______________.
People fall in love because _________________________________.
The most important qualities of great male partners are _____________.
The most important qualities of great female partners are____________.
The most hurtful thing a man can do in a relationship is _____________.
The most hurtful thing a woman can do in a relationship is __________.
What men most like is _______________________________________.
What women most like is ____________________________________.
The most important lessons I’ve ever learned about relationships are____.
The adjectives I’d use to describe the perfect relationship are _______.
In a relationship, I cannot do without _____________________.
The best attributes I bring to a relationship are ___________________.
I would absolutely end a relationship if _________________.

Great relationship partners know how to choose security when they need safety and predictability, and how to explore new dimensions when they need innovation and excitement. They know that the future of their relationship depends on that balance to stay intact.

Post published under written permission of the author Randi Gunther h.D. on

psychologytoday.com/blog/rediscovering-love .

Gospel Artist, Fernandez Bishop, crushed to death by truck in Port Harcourt

2017-08-17T10:14:00.000+01:00

A tragic moment for Nigeria's gospel music lovers, as one of her popular gospel artiste, Fernandez Bishop, aka Jesus Freak, is dead.

New reaching flexzyfriends, says he was crushed to death by a truck on Tuesday in Port Harcourt, Rivers State.

Fernandez was reportedly on his way to see a pastor when the accident occurred at Akpajo, Eleme in Port Harcourt.

He was a devout Christian known for his upbeat gospel praise songs, and also a chorister at House on the Rock Church.
He will be missed by the his church members, friends and fans of his gospel songs.

God permits single ladies to date married men – Popular singer, Mzbel

2017-08-17T09:53:00.000+01:00

Did God permit single ladies to date married men? This issues has generated a lot of controversies on the social media, after Belinda Nana Ekua Amoah, a popular Ghanian singer was quoted of saying there is nothing wrong with dating a married man because her religion allows it.

One of the most popular singers in Ghana, Belinda Nana Ekua Amoah better known as Mzbel, has declared that God is not against ladies dating married men.

According to dailypost report, Belinda Nana Ekua Amoah, who has earlier said she does not believe in Jesus Christ and that Christianity is idol worship, made the declaration in an interview with Radio Univers.’

The singer said there is nothing wrong with dating a married man because her religion allows it.

The musician also denied claims that she was in an amorous relationship with the former president, John Dramani Mahama.

Nana Akua mentioned that she refers to the ex-president as ‘daddy’ and that tells they are not dating.

She added that a lady is also allowed to be with a married man on a condition that the woman is not a virgin.

She said, “My religion allows a man to marry as many as he wants so the ladies in Judaism accept the act. So far as he takes good care of you and does not give you problem, then you are good to be with him. Dating or marrying married man is not a big deal.

“The lady can also marry a married man but it has to be just one person in your life unlike a man who is allowed to marry even more than twenty women and be descent with them. If I am dating a married man I won’t be ashamed of it.

“I am not dating a married man but if I am, I won’t be shamed of it because God permits it. In the old testament, Solomon and others had plenty concubines. The only thing a married man cannot do is to take a another man’s wife.”

see dailypost

Why men must serve women – Actress Monalisa

2017-08-17T09:33:00.002+01:00

Nollywood actress, Monalisa Chinda Coker has taken a swipe at Africa men.

The actress on her Instagram page @monalisacode accused black men of not having understanding of love and respect for their women.

According to her, men must learn to be servers as its brings out the best in women.

She wrote “I grew up watching my parents serve one another. Relationship is not just a union but a partnership designed by God.

“A man must derive pleasure from serving his girlfriend/wife. This can only be achieved in a relationship based on true love and mutual respect.

“A woman becomes even more beautiful and adorable for the man that pampers her.

“African men misses to understand that ACTS of LOVE and RESPECT brings out the best in a woman. #WeLoveToBeLoved

source: dailypost

40-year-old beats wife to death over upkeep money in Ogun

2017-07-23T11:37:00.001+01:00

photo credit dailypost

The Police in Ogun State have arrested a 40-year-old man, Femi Adebowale, for beating his 37-year-old wife Kuburat to death.

The incident happened in their residence in Agbado area of the state on Monday, Dailypost reports.

The state’s Police Public Relations Officer, Abimbola Oyeyemi, in a statement yesterday said that on the day of the incident, the deceased had asked her husband for the money she would spend on her younger brother’s naming ceremony.

The PPRO said Femi gave his wife N10,000 but that the deceased insisted that the money was not enough, which led to a fight that resulted in her death.

According to Oyeyemi, the suspect was arrested following a complaint from the deceased ’s younger brother, Shakiru Alao, who reported at Agbado Division that his elder sister had been beaten to death by the husband over allegation of adultery.

Oyeyemi added, “In the suspect’s statement, he alleged that the deceased had been involving in act of infidelity for quite some time to the extent that she was dating their next door neighbour.”

The state Commissioner of Police, Ahmed Iliyasu has, however, ordered the transfer of the matter to the homicide section of the State Criminal Investigation and Intelligence Department for further investigation and possible prosecution of the suspect.

This article was first published by Dailypost.ng

I have killed over 100 men, rendered 70 impotent – Ghanaian prostitute, Katrine confesses

2017-07-23T11:25:00.000+01:00

Photo credit: dailypost.

A 36-year-old Ghanaian prostitute, Katrine Obenewaa has confess to killing over 100 men and rendering no fewer than 70 impotent.

Obenewaa was reportedly introduced into prostitution by a Nigerian lady, Elizabeth Opeyemi at a very tender age.

Accordint to Dailypost report, the lady made the shocking revelation on Samuel Mprah’s show on Bryt FM.

She claimed going into the prostitute work due to lack of support from her poor parents.

She said, “I was initially working as a local prostitute but later went international after coming into contact with one Miss Elizabeth Opeyemi, an international sex worker from Nigeria.”

She said the Nigerian woman enticed her to take her prostitution business outside Ghana.

According to her, she spread her bounds to neighbouring countries like Benin, Togo and Burkina Faso.

“My eight years of friendship with Miss Opeyemi was a great moment that saw me with billions of cedis.

“I was able to buy two separates six-bed room apartments from the monies I made through my sex business and now own a lot of other landed properties from this same sex business.”

Katrine further said that she got greedy and wanted more money, thus had to go in for spiritual backup. However, her visit to a spiritualist, turned out to be her worst decision

She said aftermath of her visit to the spiritualist was that any man she slept with, lost his life afterwards, and she confronted the Spiritualist who told her it was the price she had to pay for her wealth while adding that it was irreversible.

She confessed that over 100 men had already died, and 70 more were rendered impotent after sleeping with her before she eventually found out what the cause was.

Katrine also said she’s having a big regret over the whole situation, saying “though I have acquired the needed wealth one could desire for in life, am still not a happy person because of this predicament in my life.”

Source: Dailypost

Some causes of Domestic Violence

2017-07-23T11:05:00.001+01:00

Photo credit: diamondwoman.

Domestic violence (also known as intimate partner violence and abuse, spousal abuse, and family violence) violence is often defined as the physical and/or psychological abuse of an intimate partner. In our understanding, however, domestic violence includes physical and sexual abuse of children within a home, as well as economic exploitation, intimidation, emotional
abuse, coercion, threats and isolation of intimate partners, and children.

Domestic violence in Nigeria, as in most other parts of the world, is not restricted to any specific culture or religion.

Although in Nigeria, it is more widely seen as merely physical violence, domestic violence and abusive behaviour range from:
Emotional/psychological abuse (such as constantly belittling the other person; constant blaming, or bringing up past sins and secrets in order to shame; treating the person as a child and constant belittling of their actions and decision-making, emotional neglect);

Verbal abuse (such as name-calling, shouting and yelling, and insults) and physical violence;
Controlling behaviour aimed at compelling another to comply with an abuser’s wishes. The abuser may try to control both big and small decisions taken within the home – from what meals are made and when, to whether or not the spouse can see friends or family. Such control can be exercised over conceiving a child or removal of a pregnancy. Such control can be exercised through insults, name-calling, withholding of affection, and withholding of financial support;

Neglect – emotional and physical neglect, including refusal to provide for basic needs;
Extreme Jealousy:
Physical violence includes all kinds of hitting – slapping, pushing, shoving, and other more extreme forms of violence. Physical violence also includes sexual assault and rape, and being forced to do sexual acts that the abused would rather not (including within marital relationships); and
Sexual abuse of children in domestic situations.
The signs of abuse and violence in affected victims may vary from one person to the other, and may be displayed in various ways. These according to Newhopeforwomen include but are by no means limited to:

Jealousy
At the start of the relationship, an abuser will equate jealously with love. The abuser will question the victim about who the victim talks to, accuse the victim of flirting, or become jealous of time spent with others. The abuser may call the victim frequently during the day, drop by unexpectedly, refuse to let the victim work, check the car mileage, or ask friends to watch the victim.

Controlling behavior
In the beginning an abuser will attribute controlling behavior to concern for the victim (for example, the victim's safety or decision-making skills). As this behavior progresses the situation will worsen, and the abuser may assume all control of finances or prevent the victim from coming and going freely.

Quick involvement
A victim often has known or dated the abuser for a brief period of time before getting engaged or living together. The abuser will pressure the victim to commit to the relationship. A victim may be made to feel guilty for wanting to slow the pace or end the relationship.

Unrealistic expectations
An abuser expects the victim to meet all of the abuser's needs, to take care of everything emotionally and domestically.

Isolation
An abuser will attempt to isolate the victim by severing the victim's ties to outside support and resources. The batterer will accuse the victim's friends and family of being "trouble makers." The abuser may block the victim's access to use of a vehicle, work, or telephone service in the home.

Blames others for problems
An abuser will blame others for all problems or for the abuser's own shortcomings. Someone is always out to get the abuser or is an obstacle to the abuser's achievements. The victim or potential victim will be blamed for almost anything.

Blames others for feelings
An abuser will use feelings to manipulate the victim. Common phrases to look for: "You're hurting me by not doing what I want." "You control how I feel."

Hypersensitivity
An abusive person is easily insulted, perceiving the slightest setbacks as personal attacks.

Cruelty to animals or children
This is a person who punishes animals brutally or is insensitive to their pain. The abuser may expect children to perform beyond their capability (for example whipping a two-year-old for wetting a diaper or teasing children or siblings until they cry)."

Playful" use of force in sex
This behavior includes restraining partners against their will during sex, acting out fantasies in which the partner is helpless, initiating sex when the partner is asleep, or demanding sex when the partner is ill or tired. The abuser may show little concern for his partner's wishes and will use sulking and anger to manipulate compliance.

Verbal abuse
This behavior involves saying things that are intended to be cruel and hurtful, cursing or degrading the victim, or putting down the victim's accomplishments.

Rigid sex roles
The victim, almost always a woman, will be expected to serve. For instance, a male abuser will see women as inferior to men, responsible for menial tasks, stupid, and unable to be a whole person without a relationship.

Dual personality "Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde"
Explosive behavior and moodiness, which can shift quickly to congeniality, are typical of people who beat their partners.

Past battering
An abuser will beat any partner if the individual is involved with the abuser long enough for the cycle of abuse to begin. Circumstances do not make a person an abusive personality.

Threats of violence
This consists of any threat of physical force meant to control the partner. Most people do not threaten their mates but an abuser will excuse this behavior by claiming "everyone talks like that."

Breaking or striking objects
This behavior is used as punishment (breaking sentimental possessions) or to terrorize the victim into submission.

Any force during an argument
This may involve an abuser holding down his the victim, physically restraining the victim from leaving, or pushing or shoving. Holding someone back in order to make demands, such as "You will listen to me!" is also a show of force.

Change starts with Me - Ikedi Ohakim

2017-07-23T10:00:00.001+01:00

"We have fasting and prayer sessions all year long, night vigils and deliverance when the actual problem is us. We simply cannot learn to love others"

*Professor Isa Hussaini of Faculty of Pharmacy University of Maiduguri wrote:*

The blame for what Nigeria has become falls on you and me. Not Buhari, not Jonathan, not Obasanjo and definitely not Abacha.

Our wickedness stinks to the heavens as we go about our daily lives, pulling down everyone and everything to become rich. We import substandard products, fake drugs and expired baby food unfit for human consumption and we have the nerve to complain about leadership?...

We even steal from widows, orphans, and refugees. We take their food and sell it for profit. No conscience. Nothing is sacred. No one is spared. We build substandard roads, schools, houses, hospitals, all for profit at the expense of human life;an invaluable item which all our profit and contract sum cannot buy.

One would think this behavior is reserved for urchins but it would surprise you that this is the character of many decent looking people who appear to be normal but are not any better than Boko Haram members. They are church members, Muslims, husbands, wives and sadly youths.

We pervert justice and pretend we do not know right from wrong just to serve our selfish interests. Slave traders pale in comparison to what we do to ourselves. We are wickedness personified. So much hatred flows in our blood and we transfer it to our children. It's evident in what we say and do.

We have fasting and prayer sessions all year long, night vigils and deliverance when the actual problem is us. We simply cannot learn to love others . It is me, me, me. That is all that ever matters. It is sickening. Anyone who cannot love has no business in politics, Government and in Nigeria. Until we understand this, we will continue on this path of destruction.

I can Change, You can Change, They can Change and We can Change by Sharing and Spreading this message....

*Change starts with Me....*

Written by Ikedi Ohakim

Former Governor,
Imo State, Nigeria.

Air force official kills self and girlfriend who ‘meant everything to him’

2017-03-12T23:00:00.000+01:00

A Nigerian air force official identified as Kalu BA, has killed himself and Oladipupo Solape, his lover and colleague.

According to Thecable.ng report, the incident occurred at the Nigerian air force base in Makurdi, Benue state capital, in the wee hours of Sunday.

Less than two months before ending the love sojourn, the young officer, declared: “She’s everything to me.”

But on Saturday night, he took to his Facebook page to write: “My last night as an airman…. ask about me later and hear my story… you would b surprised.”

Earlier he had written: “RIP young blood… I wish myself that.”

And early on Sunday, he wrote: “4:36,” probably in reference to the time he took her life before his.

The motive behind his action is unclear, but there are reports that he decided to do so because he found out that she was dating a senior military officer.

While their relationship lasted, Kalu posted information about their private lives on social media, and tagged her on virtually all his posts on Facebook.

On January 20, he wrote: “Taking nice pix with my bae is my hobby,” and to prove this, he posted many of such photographs on Facebook.

hat same day, he went down memory lane recalling how he met his estranged lover.

“It all started with a ‘Hello’. I remember vividly that Monday morning on the parade ground. Seeing such a beauty, pondering on what’s right to say to her. Everyone’s eyes were on her but my eyes were bigger,” he wrote.

“I was over blown by the wind of bravado, standing next to her. It was all about me looking like the beast while she was the beauty but today beauty fell in love with d beast and they both live happily ever after.

“My love story!!!”

Unfortunately, it ended on Sunday. Kalu forgot the love he professed for his country, and how he was ready to sacrifice his life for his fatherland.

“I would die for my country. I pledge loyalty to her. This is my job,” he had written.

Friends and colleagues of Solape have been expressing grief over the incident.

One of them wrote on Facebook, “R.I.P Shomzy shomzy your death is some thing I can’t forget so easily because your military plans is still in your mind. Well I can’t continue crying my dear, all I have to do is to let go of what I can’t change.”

Another friend shared a screengrab of his last Whatsapp chat with her along with the message, indicating she would be missed.

“R.I.P my dear FRD it really hurt me I am sad I remember Tuesday or Wednesday that we chat last around 12:30. When we start chatting, you promised to come on my junior birthday in July and you said you are in Makurdi right now and I prayed for you. And you told me God is ur strength.

“Almighty God my friend have faith in u and u can’t protect her crying crying. We love u but almighty God love u most my Facebook daughter I won’t forget ur memory.love u. Oladipupo solape and now Shomzy Shomzy I miss u.”

“I wished you happy birthday last two weeks; I can’t believe that you will go and leave me my course mate my regular. I love you but God loves you more. R I P and your blood never be in vain.”

Source: Thecable.ng

Unbelievable Large cockroach extracted alive from woman’s skull

2017-02-13T23:54:00.000+01:00

A large cockroach was discovered inside a woman’s skull in India and pulled out alive after extensive efforts by doctors to extract the bug, the Times of India reported.

The 42-year-old woman went to the hospital last week with an “itchy sensation” in her nose.

Doctors were at first unable to determine the cause of her discomfort, but when she was admitted to a third hospital, a medical staff member finally determined that something in her head was “mobile.”

Click link to watch video how doctors extract the cockroach alive https://youtu.be/XPXSiAI1bMc

The victim was transferred to a fourth hospital where doctors “used an endoscope and found the blob had a pair of antennae.”

“It was a full-grown cockroach,” Dr. M.N. Shankar told the Times.

It was located in the nasal cavity between the eyes and close to the brain, he said.
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“It was alive. And it didn’t seem to want to come out,” Shankar added.
A medical team used a combination of forceps and suction and, after 45 minutes, were able to extract the bug, still alive and kicking.

Source: whio.com/

Don't fight your cheating husband, give him condoms - Ghanaian actress

2017-02-12T12:15:00.000+01:00

This is incredible as Actress Ellen Korkor, controversially advices women to pay their cheating husbands back by sleeping with 20-year-olds.
Lead actress in the Afia Schwarzenegger series, Ellen Korkor Asante has advised women married to chronic cheaters to support them by giving them condoms on their way out of the house.

Ms. Asante who is noted for her vibrant role in the Deloris Frimpong-Manso was captured in a video advising what seems to be a group of friends.

She also gave the controversial advice to women to pay their cheating husbands back by sleeping with 20-year-olds.

“When he is going out, don’t stop him. Infact, give him a cond*m to protect himself.

Then when he is in his 70s and bed ridden with stroke, wear that sexy underwear before him, apply some powder, shake your bum and go out and sleep with young men…those in their 20s,” she said.

Source: .ghanaweb.

Woman flogged until she passed out for having sex out of wedlock

2017-02-12T11:39:00.000+01:00

Shocking footage has re-emerged of a woman being beaten so badly she has to be taken away by paramedics.

The video, filmed in the strict Indonesian province of Aceh, reportedly shows 20-year-old
Nur Elita being flogged for having had sex with a man out of wedlock, metro.co.uk reports

Aceh is the only province in Indonesia to impose sharia law. People face being flogged for a range of offences – from gambling to drinking and having gay sex.

http://metro.co.uk/video/woman-publicly-beaten-stick-1410217/?ito=vjs-link

Although the clip was originally filmed in 2015, it has reappeared on social media after being shared by Zee News journalist Tarek Fatah.

A cheering crowd holds out smartphones to film the disturbing event, whilst Elita screams and collapses in front of Baiturrahman Mosque, Banda Aceh. Her 23-year-old lover was also flogged five times with the cane.

At the time the deputy mayor Zainab Arifin called the beating a warning saying: ‘Make the implementation of caning as a lesson.

‘Whatever was done by the detainees, the whip should not have to be used as an example. I hope this is for the last time.’

He then sent letters to the couple reminding them not to repeat their offences.

As the woman, wearing a salmon-pink hijab, is taken away by paramedics she appears completely unresponsive.

The crowd begins to cheer as the woman is rushed away by the medics, while professional photographs are taken of the victim.

As is customary for these types of video the person administering the punishment is completely covered, with only slits for eyes.

Source: metro.co.uk

Former model Danielle, is expecting her fourth child.

2017-02-12T11:13:00.000+01:00

The former model is expecting her fourth child, and first with fiancé Michael O’Neill, ok.co.uk reports.

"She has three sons, Archie, Harry and George, with ex husband Jamie O’Hara – who recently returned from a stint in the Celebrity Big Brother house."

According to reports, the 33 year old is hoping for a girl to complete her family.

“This is really lovely news for Danielle and Michael,” an insider told the Sun.

“They kept it a secret when they first found out but Danielle has had her three-month scan and they feel comfortable enough to start letting people know.

“The baby is due around June, which is very exciting.

“And after all the anguish Danielle has been through in recent months — ever since Jamie went on CBB — it’s nice for her to be able to focus on the future.”

Danielle’s news comes after she revealed she was targeted by ‘nasty girls’ during Jamie’s time in the house.
Read more here... ok.co.uk

The Difference Between Networking and Making Friends

2017-02-12T09:46:00.000+01:00

photo credit: gettyimages.com

On the surface, networking and making friends look pretty similar. You’r
e meeting new people, finding common interests, and hoping that the relationship will continue.

But the truth is, they’re different—and it’s important to distinguish between the two.
As former Secretary of State Madeleine Albright recently put it, “women are really good at making friends and not good at networking.”

Networking is about building rapport, having substantive conversations, and finding commonalities with other professionals in a limited amount of time. Yes, it’s an opportunity to connect with others—but it’s more about advancing your professional goals than it is about getting people to like you or boosting your social scene.

If you’re trying to make friends at every networking event you attend, you may be doing yourself a disservice. Here’s a look at some common networking scenarios that can veer toward friend territory, and how to make sure you’re approaching them the right way.

The Situation: As you’re grabbing a glass of wine at the bar, you strike up a conversation with the woman next to you. With drink in hand, you’re ready to move on and work the room, but your new Pinot pal seems determined not to leave your side.

Making Friends: Feeling bad, you grab a table and chat with her throughout the event. Hey, she’s really nice, and it’s tough not knowing anyone in these types of situations.

Networking Effectively: After a few minutes of chatting, you invite her to be your “networking buddy.” You'll divide and conquer—each of you talking to new people throughout the evening, and agreeing to introduce each other when there's someone the other should meet.

The Situation: Five minutes after introducing yourself and asking, “So, what do you do?” you find yourself still listening to someone tell you about the projects she’s working on.

Making Friends: You don’t want to hurt her feelings by interrupting, and her job is pretty interesting, so you smile, nod, and listen while she chatters on—never stopping to ask what you do.

Networking Effectively: Realizing she’s not going to reciprocate and turn the attention onto you, you listen for the next sentence where you can relate what she’s saying to a project you're working on, a client you have, or any topic you can speak to and jump in. By doing so, you’ve created a seamless transition, and you can start sharing some things of your own.

The Situation: You see someone standing alone, carrying the handbag you’ve been eyeing for months. It’s the perfect icebreaker, so you head over to chat.

Making Friends: You compliment her on her bag, then launch into a conversation, bonding over your love of Burberry and sample sales.

Networking Effectively: You break the ice by mentioning her bag—after all, making small talk is one of the quickest and most effective ways to build rapport. But after a few minutes, you tactfully find a way to transition to business talk, changing the conversation into an exchange of why you’re at the event or what you do.

The Situation: You’re having a great conversation with someone about the conference you both attended last month. Just as you’re about to ask if she’d like to have lunch next week, someone else pushes her way into the conversation.

Making Friends: You don’t want to seem annoyed or interrupt, so you stand there awkwardly, not sure how to react and never adding to the conversation.

Networking Effectively: You realize you’re not going to be introduced, so you interject yourself into the conversation. You smile, introduce yourself, and maybe even stay a bit—after all, this new person could be a new contact, too. Then, you slip your colleague your card, saying, “I’ll let you two chat, but I’d love to have lunch sometime. Email me next week?”

So, does not all this mean that all the fun has to be sucked out of networking? Of course not! Networking isn’t about brusquely exchanging business cards, it’s about making true connections with people. But the key is: Before you move those connections straight into friend territory, do have meaningful conversations that help advance your professional goals.

Then, if you make a new friend? It’s an added bonus.

Source: forbes.com

Northern Politicians Tables Conditions To Allow Osibanjo Succeed Buhari As Nigeria President

2017-02-12T08:52:00.002+01:00

A clique of powerful politicians from the Northern part of Nigeria has tabled some stringent conditions under which they can allow for an imminent and smooth transition of power from President Buhari to his Yoruba Deputy, Yemi Osibanjo, Family Writers Intelligence Unit have gathered.

This development is fueled by the growing uncertainty and fear surrounding the health status of Nigeria President, Muhammadu Buhari who
has been on a medical vacation in London for the past three weeks.

President Buhari who had earlier been on a 10day medical vacation in June 2016, was reportedly diagnosed with ‘Brain cancer’ and an ear infection known as ‘Mèniére’s Disease’, during the vacation. The Nigeria president however, rejected medical advice from his London doctors to undertake a surgery which could have subjected him to a six month leave from office as president.

Family Writers gathered that due to tensions that have been generated by rumours alleging that the president may have died in London, and reports by some sections of the Nigeria media that the president’s worsening health status has incapacitated him from continuing as Nigeria president, the Northern Hausa/Fulani politicians who have been highly favoured by the administration of their kinsman are deeply worried and disappointed that once again, their region will be loosing the office of the president to a Southerner and worst still, a Christian, who is being regarded as an infidel in the Muslim North.

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As a result, the political big-wigs who have been left helpless with the reality on ground and have failed woefully in lobbying and forcing Osibanjo to resign, have now listed some conditions which the Vice President must consent to before any peaceful transition of power to him can be allowed. The conditions read as follows:

1. That the North will take over power come 2019, hence Osibanjo must not contest for Nigeria president at the expiration of Buhari’s tenure in 2019.

2. Osibanjo’s Deputy must be a Northerner and a Muslim.

3. Osibanjo must ensure that Nigeria remains one at all cost; therefore he is expected to ensure that the leader of Indigenous People of Biafra, Nnamdi Kanu is not released, and to uphold Buhari’s method of suppression and clamp down on Biafra activists in the country.

4. That most key positions held by Northerners under president Buhari must remain untouchable.

5. That Osibanjo must not probe notable Northern politicians who have been indicted of corrupt practices and embezzlement under Buhari’s administration.

According to the source which made these classified information available to Family Writers, the desperate Northern politicians threatened that should the Vice president fail to uphold the listed conditions, his administration shall be rendered ‘ungovernable,’ as was the case of former president, Goodluck Jonathan.

Meanwhile, a top Nigerian politician who pleaded anonymity disclosed to Family Writers that some powerful politicians who are closely related to Buhari are responsible for the secrecy surrounding the president’s state of health.

“The fact that Vice president Yemi Osibanjo is presently the only Nigerian citizen who has the constitutional mandate to replace the ailing President Buhari as Nigeria president is a very big concern to the Northerners,
“This is why the president health condition of the president has been kept a top secret as ordered by Buhari’s kinsmen who have hijacked political power in Aso Rock. Even Osibanjo and Buhari’s spokesperson, Adesina doesn’t know if Buhari is alive or dead or the hospital where he is presently admitted in London, but we hope that the truth will soon begin to unfold because Nigerians are running out of patience,” he said

Source: scannewsnigeria.

2017-02-11T22:52:00.003+01:00

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IPOB: Court Refuses Masquerading of Witnesses in Kanu’s Trial

2016-12-13T18:38:00.000+01:00

A Federal High Court, Abuja, Tuesday, refused the application by the Federal Government to masquerade witnesses in the trail of the leader of the Indigenous People of Biafra (IPOB), Nnamdi Kanu, thestreetjournal reports.

Kanu and others are standing trial on 11 count chsrge bordering on treasonable felony, conspiracy among others.
The trial Judge, Justice Binta Nyako however ruled that there would be a special screening of witnesses who will only be seen by members of the bench and the defendants outside the general public.
“The members of the court will be allowed to sit but they will not be allowed to see the witnesses” Nyako added.
Justice Nyako further stated that the court would be partitioned with a screen to obstruct the public from seeing the witnesses.
Reacting to the ruling, the defendants who perceived an indirect secret trial tried to object the position of the court.

Amidst the court proceeding, many Biafrans were seen on special white attires that are common among Israeli priesthoof which bothers on Judaism.
They caused commotion outside the courtroom, by chanting we don’t want secret trial.
One of them attempted to grab the prison warden but was prevented by operatives of the Department of State Security.
The Federal Government on November 8, re-arraigned Kanu and three others. They appeared before a third judge, Justice Binta Nyako of the Federal High Court on an 11-count charge bordering on treasonable felony, illegal possession of firearms as well as terrorism.
Nyako is the third judge to hear Kanu’s case as he had earlier accused two others: Justices Adeniyi Ademola and John Tsoho, of bias.
In the amended charges dated November 7 and filed by a Director of Public Prosecutions, Mohammed Umar, the Federal Government added five fresh ones to the previous six.
Also included among those charged for the first time was one David Nwawusi. The two others – Onwudiwe Chidiebere and Benjamin Madubugwu – had been on trial alongside Kanu in the earlier six-count charge.
Kanu’s counsel, Chuks Muoma, has asked the court for bail.
Although Kanu had during the previous arraignment applied for bail on the fact that he was appearing before a new judge, a fresh application was filed.
It would be recalled that Kanu, alongside Onwudiwe Chidiebere and Benjamin Madubugwu, were first arraigned before Justice Shuaibu Usman of a Magistrate’s Court in Wuse Zone 2, who dismissed the case following a motion by the prosecutor, the Department of State Services (DSS), that the court lacked the jurisdiction to entertain the matter.
At the Federal High Court, Abuja, Justice Ademola, who was assigned the case had to step aside following accusation by the defendants that they may not get fair-hearing.
Tsoho, who was to take over hearing, also had to hands off and the case file was returned to the Chief Judge of the Federal High Court, Justice Ibrahim Auta, for re-assignment after he was also petitioned for bias.
The case was further adjourned till January 10,11,and 12 for u continuation of trial

Source: thestreetjournal.org

True story about boy buried alive in old wall in Ondo state

2016-12-13T18:19:00.001+01:00

photo credit: nigeriatoday

Last week, the report of a boy said to have been sealed in the wall of a house in Ondo town in western Nigeria spread.

According to channels Television report, investigation by its crew to the town and the very house where the incident happened in Ondo State. after tet story was told on online news platforms but without details, rumours have been circulating about the reality of the occurrence."

A bungalow located on 3B Akinfemisoye Street, Oduduwa Area in New Town, Ondo city in Ondo West Local Government Area of Ondo State was where the boy was found.

According to the information gathered, the owner of the house had travelled out of the country several years ago. But the building at the back is being inhabited by tenants who are students of the Adeyemi College of Education in the town.

CONFLICTING OPINIONS

photo credit: nigeriatoday

Charity Adebayo, a students living in the compound, told Channels Television that the boy, who is suspected to be mentally deranged, fell into a little space between the walls of the house and a food canteen next to it.

“We started hearing the boy saying meaningless things from inside the wall,” she said.

Charity explained that at daybreak, people came and broke the fence and brought him out.

According to her, the grandmother of the boy came to pick him.

Felicia Olaniyi, who operates the food canteen at the other side, gave her own account of the story in Yoruba language.

“The boy was said to have escaped from his grandmother one evening while she was taking him to a church for healing.

“The boy must have fallen in-between the walls of the two buildings,” she said.

According to her, after they heard the voice of the boy in the wall, it attracted people’s attention and a ladder was brought. “He was discovered in the space and the wall was broken,” she explained.

She said the residents also alerted the police before the boy was brought out and also corroborated Charity’s claims that he was taken away by his grandmother.

Michael Gbala, a medical practitioner, who also lives in the neighbourhood told Channels Television that he learnt that the boy was mentally deranged.

Determined to get to the root of the matter and more revelations, Channels Television crew proceeded to the church where the boy was taken to by his grandmother for healing, overseen by an old woman, Prophetess Dorcas Adebayo.

photo credit: nigeriatoday

Nigeriatoday.ng , also gave a different report on the boy who is said to be 12 years old

Here’s the true story of the Boy that was buried alive in an old wall in Ondo state

The owner of a brick house where a young boy was rescued alive in Ondo state recently has been declared wanted by the officials of Ondo State Police Command.

The innocent boy who is said to be 12 years old was declared missing by his parents

several years back. He was rescued at a house located on Oduduwa street in Ijapo area of Akure few days ago.

When his parents were contacted, they claimed some spiritualists told them he has been used as sacrifice and that they should stop looking for him but as fate will have it, those who heard the sound of the boy as he was singing broke the wall and rescued him alive.

People are still wondering as to how the boy made it to the foundation of the building that is over 20 years old and how he managed to survive.

An Eyewitnesse at the scene who identified himself as a priest said the boy was called into the place from a spiritual altar and that he has been there for more than 5 years and that they fed him with human flesh and blood from the spiritual realm.

He urged the parents of the boy to take him to a powerful native doctor for redemption ritual because he is now a demon in human form.

culled from channels television

Happiness depends on health and friends, not money, says new study

2016-12-12T18:46:00.002+01:00

photo credit: theguardian

Landmark research says tackling mental health issues more effective than reducing poverty for increasing happiness rates

While most people feels that source(s) happiness depends on how rich one are, but research recently conducted has proved it wrong, as its mostly good health and friendship, are mostly the main sources of being happy.
A report by Lord Richard Layard ,supports the arguments over decades that social and psychological factors are more important to the wellbeing of individuals than income levels.

Accordint to theguardian.com "Most human misery can be blamed on failed relationships and physical and mental illness rather than money problems and poverty, according to a landmark study by a team of researchers at the London School of Economics (LSE)".

"Eliminating depression and anxiety would reduce misery by 20% compared to just 5% if policymakers focused on eliminating poverty, the report found.

Lord Richard Layard, who led the report, said on average people have become no happier in the last 50 years, despite average incomes more than doubling.

The economist and former adviser to Tony Blair and Gordon Brown said the study, called Origins of Happiness, showed that measuring people’s satisfaction with their lives should be a priority for every government. The researchers analysed data from four countries including the US and Germany.

Extra spending on reducing mental illness would be self-financing, the researchers added, because it would be recovered by the government through higher employment and increased tax receipts together with a reduction in NHS costs from fewer GP visits and hospital A&E admissions.

“Tackling depression and anxiety would be four times as effective as tackling poverty. It would also pay for itself,” he said.

The report supports the arguments put forward by Layard over several decades that social and psychological factors are more important to the wellbeing of individuals than income levels.

“Having a partner is as good for you as being made unemployed is bad for you,” he said.

The report claims that state-run organisations, including schools, must become more focused on tackling anxiety and mental health issues.

“This evidence demands a new role for the state – not ‘wealth creation’ but ‘wellbeing creation’,” Layard said. “In the past, the state has successively taken on poverty, unemployment, education and physical health. But equally important now are domestic violence, alcoholism, depression and anxiety conditions, alienated youth, exam mania and much else. These should become centre stage.”
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The economist said it was a curse on children that they were judged by society solely on their educational attainment. The report adds: “The strongest factor predicting a happy adult life is not children’s qualifications but their emotional health. There is also powerful evidence that schools have a big impact on children’s emotional health, and which school a child goes to will affect their emotional wellbeing as much as it affects their exam performance.”

Layard rejected accusations that he was arguing against closing income inequalities but said improvements in mental health services would have a greater impact.

The health secretary, Jeremy Hunt, has pledged to increase funding for mental health services. In September he said the care offered to children and young people was the service’s biggest weakness.

But the Department of Health admitted last month that the number of mental health nurses working in the NHS in England has dropped by almost a sixth since the Conservatives came to power in 2010, from 45,384 in England to 38,774 in July this year.

theguardian

The report will be presented to a conference in London on Monday that has been organised by the LSE and the Organisation for Economic Co-operation and Development".

Divorce is now celebrated social status symbol – Actor Benson Okonkwo

2016-12-12T18:24:00.005+01:00

Popular Nollywood actor, Benson Okonkwo, has lamented the rate at which marriages break up.

The actor, popularly known as ”Mr Packaging’ said the rate at which marriages collapse now is assuming a social status symbol in the society and in no-time, people will be throwing divorce parties and inviting friends and well-wishers to celebrate their divorce anniversaries.

The Enugu-based actor said this on his Instagram page @teambensonokonkwo.

According to dailypost report, he wrote: “They will choose aso-ebi, hire a hall and popular musicians & what have you. Even a question like “So when are you getting divorced?” will become common.

“If u know u can’t handle the weight & pressures of marriage, pls remain single. If u don’t know what marriage is all about, pls remain single until u do. If u are getting married because of the things u desire or hope to gain from the other person pls remain single.

“If u know u can’t be faithful, remain single. If u can’t endure insults from one another, pls remain single. If u can’t forgive one another’s wrongs, pls remain single.

“If u can’t place ur spouse above every other human being, pls remain single! Don’t get married out of desperation. “All my friends are getting married” is d most foolish reason to get married!

“If u desire a successful home, but ur choice of friends are forces not to reckon with, think again. Be very mindful of where you go for advice, Many would give, but not many mean well!

“Guys, if u know u can’t put ur wife ahead of ur ego, pls remain single till u’re mature. Ur wife is your priority and EVERYTHING else including u, comes last.

“You are d teacher, d guide, d bodyguard, d role model – u are not a deity or God. So do not expect to b worshiped.

“U need respect, earn it by being responsible!

“Ladies, if u know u can’t be submissive pls don’t go into marriage so u’re not turned into a punch bag! If u know u can’t stand being corrected, pls remain single.

“Mr/Mrs I know it all!!! Ladies check ur domestic scorecard – if ur score is 0, pls stay in ur parents’ house! People, pls make ur marriages work. Read carefully and share it with others. It doesn’t matter if u are Married or Not, Marry for love.”

dailypost

NASS orders crackdown on promoters of ‘MMM’ scheme

2016-11-09T16:51:00.001+01:00

http://www.premiumtimesng.com/news/headlines/214916-nigerian-parliament-orders-crackdown-promoters-mmm-scheme.html

FOREIGN OBSERVERS FAULT CONDUCT OF EDO ELECTION

2016-10-01T13:02:00.001+01:00

International observers, who monitored Wednesday Edo State governorship election have expressed reservations about the conduct of the election, pointing out that they were not denied entry into the centre vote collation centre and that security operatives at the polling units looked the other way while politicians and their agents induced voters with money.

Prof Ahmed Ansari, head of the African Union Observer Team, asked the Independent National Electoral Commission (INEC) to improve on the functionality of the card readers as he noted that the machine did not work in some polling units.

He said along with other international observer groups such as the American Observer team, the British Council and others from the Netherlands and Scotland, the full reports of their impression of the election would be submitted to the INEC and other important election stakeholders.

He said, “The turnout was quite impressive, but there were problems here and there. Another challenge was understaffing. We saw situation whereby only one staff was in a polling unit. That was not good enough.

There were reports of inducement. Every party complained about inducement which to me mean that all of them were guilty. The electorate are not supposed to sell their consciences. To the politicians, it shouldn’t be about money.

He further stated that “as the head of an international observer team, we were not allowed to go to the collation centres at a particular time. That is something we need to complain about. I asked who gave the instruction; who gave the order? It couldn’t be INEC.

“It could be, as they call it, order from above? But the security men told me that ‘sir, this is the order given to us.’ In every situation, one person is allowed to be there. Even when we delegated Victor (his assistant) to go in, he was not allowed to go into the hall.

He said, “He (Victor) was allowed to come within the compound, but was not inside the nucleus, where the whole the exercise took place, adding that “we should be there; we should get the result sheet. We should have a copy but we don’t have copies for now.”

On the rescheduling of collation of results, Prof Ansari said, “it could be for security reasons based on advice, but I didn’t know why they had to stop and leave it for a particular time. Of course, there was no call for it.”

When asked what security operatives could have done upon noticing that money was exchanging hands at the polling units, he said “that depends on the order they gave them.”

Also speaking, Christian Victor from the African Union for Economic, Social and Cultural Council, said many of the things observed in the field on Wednesday were not the kind of things that should happen in an election.

He said, “One of them is that everywhere we visited was filled with money flying around. Some people were fighting some voters for not voting the political parties they were paid for. It was very disappointing that this kind of thing still happens in the Nigeria’s political system.

“I watched the security agencies and it was clear they understood that monies were flying but for reasons best known to them they did not stop it. There were cases of young men, who looked like thugs, driving around during the election.

“They were never stopped by security agencies. That is wrong where there is a restriction of movement. I also saw wealthy people moving around in SUVs during the election.

“I have been part of many elections and I have never seen a situation whereby observers and journalists are not allowed into collation centres.”

A local observer, Sadoh Danladi Sunday, stated that it was shocking that the results announced by the INEC did not tally with those his group got from the field.

Culled from:Foreign observers fault conduct Edo election

Backstabbing in a work place

2016-09-14T16:49:00.001+01:00

The backstabbing co workers are the kind of people who will overtly do things to undermine, embarrass or place you in potentially career-damaging situations
As you move along your career path you will discover that the majority of your peers are good up-standing individuals. Like you, they work hard and care about the work they do. Unfortunately, you will also probably run across co-workers who are less than stellar for a variety of reasons. But the worst you will encounter are the backstabbing co workers.

The backstabbing co workers are the kind of people who will overtly do things to undermine, embarrass or place you in potentially career-damaging situations. Clearly, you can’t trust this person to have your best interest in mind, because they are working too hard to promote their own interests.

however, the following tips are some useful ways to Handle Backstabbing Colleagues:

1. Do not share your heart: At the workplace, beware what you are talking about or what information you are sharing. When a co-worker shows too much interest in your personal matter or your opinion about another colleague at work, refrain from being honest. In fact, avoid such questions with a smile.

2. Keep ideas and plans to yourself: Take care not to divulge any ideas that you have about a project you are handling with a colleague who is a backstabber. Disclose your ideas only in the presence of a superior. You can even request your boss to divide project responsibilities so that you get the credit for what you have put in.

3. Be alert during changes:When there is a sudden change in the office or there are rumours about firing some, be extra alert because it is during such situations that people try to pull down others just to protect their position. At such times, just avoid talking too many personal or professional matters with anyone.

4. Do not let them pull you into the gossip pool: The first stage utilised by backstabbers is essentially the sweet one. They may try to befriend you and say nasty stories about a colleague that you dislike. Do not encourage such sessions and just do not add fuel to the fire. Whatever you may say can be used to get back at you.

5. Avoid backstabbers:Whatever happens or whatever way, the backstabbers might try to incite you, remain calm. Avoid them as far as possible. They may whisper into each other’s ears looking at you or they will smile sarcastically while you are passing. Remember by doing all these, they want you to react and attack them. Don’t fall into their trap.

6. Don’t give in: Giving away physically or emotionally won’t solve your problems. Talk to your family or close friends about the situation. Their words of support will act as armour against bullies. Remind yourself that you are talented and a valued employee and that is the reason why these backstabbers are behaving the way they do. So smile and keep your distance.

7. Hang out with supportive co-workers: Have caring co-workers at your side. Talk to them on all topics but never broach any topic concerning the backstabbers. Talk about fun things, laugh and have fun. Backstabbers will automatically retreat when they see that you are not intimidated but are having fun.

8. Select your battles with caution: React only when a problem escalates and that too in a way that is calm and restrained. When you become aggressive, lose temper and shout at the backstabbers, you are also becoming a part of the problem and you will not be able to sort out the situation. Hence when you confront, do so with dignity and self-restraint.

9. Be a better employee: No matter how much some backstabbing co-workers are trying to belittle you or are spreading rumours about you, you should focus on your work and try to become better at your job. Go beyond the call of duty and put in your best. Just concentrating on your work will be able to put the stress and such people away.

10. Make it a habit to document:Whenever you have to communicate to such co-workers, instead of verbal communication, send e-mails. If they are rude to you in any work matters, tell them to send the details and reasons by mail rather than informing you verbally. Keep note of all your work, your project details and meetings. Be extra careful and cautious so that whenever any allegation is made against you, you have evidence to prove that they are wrong.

11. Do not appear to be ‘holier than thou’: Though you should not be a part of office politics, you should know what is going around. The key here is to listen to gossips but do not spread them. Maintaining a ‘holier than thou’ attitude only makes you more distant even from others, which will give the backstabbers an upper hand.

12. Be a good friend to everyone: If you get a chance to help someone or guide a newbie, do that. Even if one of the backstabbing colleagues come asking for a help, try to help them out. These helping gestures will put you in a favourable situation and secure from any harm that these people might try to impose.

13. Learn to read people: This is a trait that will come only with practice. Learn to read non-verbal communication and study people. When you are good at reading people, you will automatically save yourself from backstabbers.

14. Stick to one-liners with the backstabbers: Be it professional matters or personal matters, when you communicate with backstabbing co-workers, then stick to either single words or one-liners. In this way, neither are you snapping at them nor are you encouraging them.

15. Learn to be shrewd:Whenever you are dealing with such colleagues professionally, be shrewd and extra cautious. Check and do follow-ups. For example, if you have to hand over important files to them, then take a receipt note from them, or hand it at the presence of a witness. If you have to email an important note, send a cc to another colleague in the department.

16. Do not be weak or rather expose your softer side: Be strong in front of the backstabbers. Even if you feel bad about what’s happening or you feel anxious about how the next day would be, do not express it. Display a stronger exterior and go about your work quietly and more effectively whenever possible.

17. Hope for the best and prepare for the worst: Try to find information on the activities of the backstabbers discreetly and gather all the evidences you need one by one, so that when things go out of control, and you need to stand up to these bullies, you are prepared and you have the proof ready.

18. Create a group around you:Gather whoever you can around you. Let these people be those who you trust well. Give them an idea about what’s happening. Hence when lies or rumours are spread about you, these people will know the truth and they will be of help.

19. Beware of the backstabber:The backstabbers are not easy people, they know all the tricks of the trade. Most of them have deep issues. Never underestimate them. Do not take their actions lightly and be aware of them at every step. Know what they are up to and devise ways to be on the safer side.

20. Try to put the record straight: If the backstabber is spreading rumours about you or has told some colleague that you do not like him or her, then go to the person directly and try to talk it out. Also confront the rumours and if anything can be amended, do it. Which you can’t help, ignore.

21. Do not pay back in their own coin: Sometimes you may get tempted to badmouth about backstabbers to others or try to do nasty things to them. If you will resort to these things, what will be the difference between you and them? Hold your dignity and go about your work, with a smile and a cheerful attitude.

22. Backstabbers are not aliens:Anybody can be a backstabber. Nobody is born with such an attitude. A person ready to stab you in the back can be the sweet intern or the person who diligently wishes you every morning or even the one sitting next to you with whom you share lunch and jokes. The moral is not to trust anyone completely and consider only those as friends who you have tried and tested.

23. Confront the right way:Confrontation is not all about fighting it out physically. You can confront a wrong doer in a non-violent way too. If you have all the evidence with you, then you can take your boss or a HR representative with you. Put the proof before him and ask him politely the reason of his behaviour.

24. Talk to your boss – the last remedy: Take the matter to your boss only when all other solutions do not work. But before you present the matter to your boss, try out all the above points. Keep proof ready and also see if any colleagues who know the truth, will speak in support. Tell your boss that while you regard this as a small matter, you still want an amicable situation. You should create an impression that you are not complaining but since you need a cordial working atmosphere, this issue should be resolved in a friendly manner.

25. At the end of the day, do what you think is right: If the boss do not stand by you, and the backstabbers succeed, don’t sit back blaming yourself. You know you were right so why bother? Start looking for a new job and say good bye cordially with dignity. Good things definitely happen to right people, believe that.

You will find unethical people in all walks of life and especially at work, backstabbing co-workers are a reality. It is of no use, running away because the problem is going to persist. Hence it is important to learn to handle these backstabbers in an intelligent and smart manner. These steps will help you handle backstabbers in a dignified manner, a method that does not hurt but is impactful.

Culled from: content.wisestep.

Other side of Obama

2016-09-09T19:23:00.001+01:00

https://youtu.be/CDn5AkonDVs