W O R D S

Visit Seedr

2022-03-06T22:31:00.001+05:30

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Fisherman and the Businessman

2010-09-13T23:47:00.000+05:30

There was once a businessman who was sitting by the beach in a small Brazilian village.
As he sat, he saw a Brazilian fisherman rowing a small boat towards the shore having caught quite few big fish.
The businessman was impressed and asked the fisherman, “How long does it take you to catch so many fish?”
The fisherman replied, “Oh, just a short while.”
“Then why don’t you stay longer at sea and catch even more?” The businessman was astonished.
“This is enough to feed my whole family,” the fisherman said.
The businessman then asked, “So, what do you do for the rest of the day?”
The fisherman replied, “Well, I usually wake up early in the morning, go out to sea and catch a few fish, then go back and play with my kids. In the afternoon, I take a nap with my wife, and evening comes, I join my buddies in the village for a drink — we play guitar, sing and dance throughout the night.”

The businessman offered a suggestion to the fisherman.
“I am a PhD in business management. I could help you to become a more successful person. From now on, you should spend more time at sea and try to catch as many fish as possible. When you have saved enough money, you could buy a bigger boat and catch even more fish. Soon you will be able to afford to buy more boats, set up your own company, your own production plant for canned food and distribution network. By then, you will have moved out of this village and to Sao Paulo, where you can set up HQ to manage your other branches.”

The fisherman continues, “And after that?”
The businessman laughs heartily, “After that, you can live like a king in your own house, and when the time is right, you can go public and float your shares in the Stock Exchange, and you will be rich.”
The fisherman asks, “And after that?”
The businessman says, “After that, you can finally retire, you can move to a house by the fishing village, wake up early in the morning, catch a few fish, then return home to play with kids, have a nice afternoon nap with your wife, and when evening comes, you can join your buddies for a drink, play the guitar, sing and dance throughout the night!”
The fisherman was puzzled, “Isn’t that what I am doing now?”

Mother Teresa, the saviour of the destitute

2010-08-28T05:00:00.000+05:30

Study Suggests Adolf Hitler Had Jewish and African Ancestors

2010-08-27T17:58:00.001+05:30

In the decades since Adolf Hitler’s death, the Nazi leader’s ancestry has been a subject of rampant speculation and intense controversy. Some have suggested that his father, Alois, born to an unwed woman named Maria Schickelgruber, was the illegitimate child of Leopold Frankenberger, a young Jewish man whose family employed her as a maid. (She subsequently married Johann Georg Hiedler–later spelled “Hitler”–whose surname her son adopted.) Others have claimed that Alois’ biological father was also the grandfather of Hitler’s mother, Klara Pözl, making Adolf the product of an incestuous marriage.

To unravel the mystery of the Fuhrer’s roots, the Belgian journalist Jean-Paul Mulders teamed up with Marc Vermeeren, a historian who has written extensively about Hitler and his ancestors. The duo collected saliva samples from 39 of the infamous dictator’s living relatives, including a great-nephew, Alexander Stuart-Houston, who lives in New York, and an Austrian cousin identified only as “Norbert H.” Tests were then conducted to reveal the samples’ principal haplogroups, which are sets of chromosomes that geneticists use to define specific populations.

Writing in the Flemish-language magazine Knack, Mulders reported that the relatives’ most dominant haplogroup, known as E1b1b, is rare in Western Europeans but common among North Africans, and particularly the Berber tribes of Morocco, Algeria, Libya and Tunisia. It is also one of the major founding lineages of the Jewish population, present in 18 to 20 percent of Ashkenazi Jews and 8.6 to 30 percent of Sephardic Jews. In other words, Hitler’s family tree may have included Jewish and African ancestors.

The tragic irony of the discovery, of course, is that Hitler’s Nazi regime systematically wiped out an estimated two-thirds of Europe’s Jewish population between 1933 and 1945. People of African descent were also considered enemies of the Aryans, whose supposed racial purity and superiority were central to the “Mein Kampf” author’s lethal rhetoric. As Mulders put it in the Knack article, "One can from this postulate that Hitler was related to people whom he despised.”

As part of its continuing quest to pin down the Fuhrer’s heritage, Knack hopes to conduct DNA tests on a jawbone fragment and piece of bloodstained cloth retrieved from the Berlin bunker where Hitler allegedly committed suicide. The Russian government has held these artifacts in its archives since 1948 and continues to vouch for their authenticity despite a contradictory 2009 study by American scientists.

Since the publication of the Knack article on August 18, 2010, academics have been quick to point out that this does not necessarily mean the man who inspired the Holocaust was either Jewish, African or a combination of the two. The E1b1b haplogroup runs in other ethnic groups, for instance, and DNA analysis remains an inexact science. But one thing about this study’s results is certain, as Ronny Decorte, a geneticist interviewed by Knack, remarked: "Hitler would not have been pleased.”

Did You KNow

2010-08-26T02:22:00.001+05:30

2010-08-23T06:46:00.001+05:30

'Jawaharlal, do you want Kashmir,
or do you want to give it away?'

Sam Manekshaw, the first field marshal in the Indian army, was at the ringside of events when Independent India was being formed. Then a colonel, he was chosen to accompany V P Menon on his historic mission to Kashmir. This is his version of that journey and its aftermath, as recorded in an interview with Prem Shankar Jha.
At about 2.30 in the afternoon, General Sir Roy Bucher walked into my room and said, 'Eh, you, go and pick up your toothbrush. You are going to Srinagar with V P Menon. The flight will take off at about 4 o'clock'. I said, 'why me, sir?'
'Because we are worried about the military situation. V P Menon is going there to get the accession from the Maharaja and Mahajan.' I flew in with V P Menon in a Dakota. Wing Commander Dewan, who was then squadron leader Dewan, was also there. But his job did not have anything to with assessing the military situation. He was sent by the Air Force because it was the Air Force which was flying us in.'
Since I was in the Directorate of Military Operations, and was responsible for current operations all over India, West Frontier, the Punjab, and elsewhere, I knew what the situation in Kashmir was. I knew that the tribesmen had come in - initially only the tribesmen - supported by the Pakistanis.
Fortunately for us, and for Kashmir, they were busy raiding, raping all along. In Baramulla they killed Colonel D O T Dykes. Dykes and I were of the same seniority. We did our first year's attachment with the Royal Scots in Lahore, way back in 1934-5. Tom went to the Sikh regiment. I went to the Frontier Force regiment. We'd lost contact with each other. He'd become a lieutenant colonel. I'd become a full colonel.
Tom and his wife were holidaying in Baramulla when the tribesmen killed them.
The Maharaja's forces were 50 per cent Muslim and 50 per cent Dogra.
The Muslim elements had revolted and joined the Pakistani forces. This was the broad military situation. The tribesmen were believed to be about 7 to 9 kilometers from Srinagar. I was sent into get the precise military situation. The army knew that if we had to send soldiers, we would have to fly them in. Therefore, a few days before, we had made arrangements for aircraft and for soldiers to be ready.
But we couldn't fly them in until the state of Kashmir had acceded to India. From the political side, Sardar Patel and V P Menon had been dealing with Mahajan and the Maharaja, and the idea was that V.P Menon would get the Accession, I would bring back the military appreciation and report to the government. The troops were already at the airport, ready to be flown in. Air Chief Marshall Elmhurst was the air chief and he had made arrangements for the aircraft from civil and military sources.
Anyway, we were flown in. We went to Srinagar. We went to the palace. I have never seen such disorganisation in my life. The Maharaja was running about from one room to the other. I have never seen so much jewellery in my life --- pearl necklaces, ruby things, lying in one room; packing here, there, everywhere. There was a convoy of vehicles.
The Maharaja was coming out of one room, and going into another saying, 'Alright, if India doesn't help, I will go and join my troops and fight (it) out'.
I couldn't restrain myself, and said, 'That will raise their morale sir'. Eventually, I also got the military situation from everybody around us, asking what the hell was happening, and discovered that the tribesmen were about seven or nine kilometres from what was then that horrible little airfield.
V P Menon was in the meantime discussing with Mahajan and the Maharaja. Eventually the Maharaja signed the accession papers and we flew back in the Dakota late at night. There were no night facilities, and the people who were helping us to fly back, to light the airfield, were Sheikh Abdullah, Kasimsahib, Sadiqsahib, Bakshi Ghulam Mohammed, D P Dhar with pine torches, and we flew back to Delhi. I can't remember the exact time. It must have been 3 o'clock or 4 o'clock in the morning.
(On arriving at Delhi) the first thing I did was to go and report to Sir Roy Bucher. He said, 'Eh, you, go and shave and clean up. There is a cabinet meeting at 9 o'clock. I will pick you up and take you there.' So I went home, shaved, dressed, etc. and Roy Bucher picked me up, and we went to the cabinet meeting.
The cabinet meeting was presided by Mountbatten. There was Jawaharlal Nehru, there was Sardar Patel, there was Sardar Baldev Singh. There were other ministers whom I did not know and did not want to know, because I had nothing to do with them. Sardar Baldev Singh I knew because he was the minister for defence, and I knew Sardar Patel, because Patel would insist that V P Menon take me with him to the various states.
Almost every morning the Sardar would sent for V P, H M Patel and myself. While Maniben (Patel's daughter and de facto secretary) would sit cross-legged with a Parker fountain pen taking notes, Patel would say, 'V P, I want Baroda. Take him with you.' I was the bogeyman. So I got to know the Sardar very well.
At the morning meeting he handed over the (Accession) thing. Mountbatten turned around and said, ' come on Manekji (He called me Manekji instead of Manekshaw), what is the military situation?' I gave him the military situation, and told him that unless we flew in troops immediately, we would have lost Srinagar, because going by road would take days, and once the tribesmen got to the airport and Srinagar, we couldn't fly troops in. Everything was ready at the airport.
As usual Nehru talked about the United Nations, Russia, Africa, God almighty, everybody, until Sardar Patel lost his temper. He said, 'Jawaharlal, do you want Kashmir, or do you want to give it away'. He (Nehru) said,' Of course, I want Kashmir (emphasis in original). Then he (Patel) said 'Please give your orders'. And before he could say anything Sardar Patel turned to me and said, 'You have got your orders'.
I walked out, and we started flying in troops at about 11 o'clock or 12 o'clock. I think it was the Sikh regiment under Ranjit Rai that was the first lot to be flown in. And then we continued flying troops in. That is all I know about what happened. Then all the fighting took place. I became a brigadier, and became director of military operations and also if you will see the first signal to be signed ordering the cease-fire on 1 January (1949) had been signed by Colonel Manekshaw on behalf of C-in-C India, General Sir Roy Bucher. That must be lying in the Military Operations Directorate.

The Poor Rich Indian MP

2010-08-22T23:37:00.000+05:30

MPs IN GENERAL are rich, endowed by flourishing business interests or hereditary handovers. The Association for Democratic Reforms, an NGO that works towards strengthening democracy and governance, says there are 315 crorepatis — persons whose net worth exceeds 1 crore — in the 543-member Lok Sabha. Further, the average asset holding of the members of the Lower House is 5.33 crore. Mind you, this is just the calculation based on disclosed assets, which are often not exhaustive —or even, the colour of the majority of assets — that MPs own. Whatever the party or state, barring some exceptions, the prevalence of wealth among MPs is universal.

Crorepati MPs: By party Wealth is not the preserve of candidates from a certain party. Seven of 10 MPs from the Congress are crorepatis. As is every second BJP MP. The two parties whose candidates show a lower disposition towards declared wealth are both based in Bengal: the CPI (M) and the Trinamool

Crorepati MPs: State-wise There seems to be some correlation between the prosperity of a state and the prosperity of its representatives. At one end, all the MPs from Punjab are crorepatis. At the other, the Communist states – Kerala and West Bengal – show the lowest presence of crorepati MPs

Average assets per MP of various parties Regional parties occupy both ends of the wealth continuum. Some of them have extremely wealthy MPs, some of them not so much. Among national parties, the average assets of a BJP MP are nearly half that of a Congress MP

Average assets per MP from various states It’s a big divide: the average declared assets across states varies from 12 lakh (Andaman & Nicobar) to Rs 18 crore (Haryana). MPs from north-eastern states have the lowest declared wealth

Manmohan's indecisiveness costing India dear

2010-08-22T00:46:00.000+05:30

A few years ago, when Greg Chappell was Big Boss, I asked Saurav Ganguly on how he felt losing the Indian captaincy. Ganguly, candid as ever, replied, "I miss being in the team, but frankly, am relieved at not being captain. An Indian cricket captain is under constant pressure, and after four to five years at the top the pressure gets to you!" If being captain of the Indian cricket side is tough, then being prime minister of the country is a shade tougher. This Independence Day, as Dr Manmohan Singh created a slice of history by delivering his seventh speech from the Red Fort ramparts - the most since Indira Gandhi - there was a suggestion that maybe what is true of an Indian cricket captain also applies to the leader of the country's political ship: has Manmohan Singh's prime ministership run out of steam is the big question being asked.

Next month, the prime minister will turn 78. In itself, age should not be a constraint. Last year, after his second major heart surgery, Dr Singh appeared recharged during a general election campaign where his persona was made a key factor. When he was repeatedly attacked for being a 'weak' prime minister, there was even an uncharacteristic flash of anger, as he questioned the credentials of those targeting him. Indeed, having successfully piloted the Indo-US nuclear deal, and then presiding over the best Congress performance in over two decades, there was reason to believe that the genial sardar had come into his own, revealing himself to be more than just an 'accidental politician'.

A year later, the doubts have resurfaced, even the goodwill which the prime minister's personal integrity so readily attracts appears to be slowly evaporating. The charge of being indecisive is now finding a silent echo even among his many admirers. The examples offered are many. The Kashmir crisis has festered since June, yet it took over two months before the prime minister publicly intervened. Even then, his response was tepid: a promise of jobs and the appointment of another committee indicative of a bankruptcy of ideas. On the Naxal challenge, the government's stand ranges from uncertain to chaotic. When a Mamta Banerjee speaks out of turn in virtual support of the Maoists, the prime minister seems reluctant to rein her in. When a Jairam Ramesh collides with a Praful Patel over the much-needed second airport in Mumbai, the prime minister appears unwilling to exercise veto power.

When an A Raja finds himself discredited over serious allegations of corruption, the prime minister doesn't appear in any hurry to seek an explanation or effect a ministerial reshuffle. When rotting foodgrains symbolize the inefficiency of Krishi Bhavan, there seems little urgency in enforcing accountability. And even the attempt to get the crumbling Commonwealth Games house in order appears to lack credibility: an 'empowered' committee of secretaries is a classic 'Yes Minister' recipe for more confusion . The solution to every policy issue - be it a Bhopal judgment or a caste census - is to appoint a group of ministers, usually headed by the ultimate political all-rounder Pranab Mukherjee (there are 47 GOMs, of which the finance minister heads 27). The result is a perceptible sense of drift in just the first year of a new government.

Ironically, Dr Singh in his second term should have been much more in command than in his first innings when he was still coming to terms with his dramatic ascent. In 2004, Dr Singh was saddled with a government that was critically dependent on the left and a motley group of small parties. In 2009, the mandate was clearly for a more stable coalition, with the UPA no longer in need of weekly life support from any of its coalition partners. In term one, the prime minister could be held hostage by the left over critical economic policy choices, this time he should have no such fear. And yet, timidity in governance has become the hallmark of UPA II, almost as if the prime minister's bureaucratic past has returned to haunt his political present.

The bureaucrat tends to be risk averse, the politician tends to take chances. Two years ago, when confronted with a belligerent left, Dr Singh put his government on line over the passage of the nuclear deal. In those difficult months, it appeared that the prime minister had discovered a political spine and the power of the PMO. Unfortunately, deal done and election won, Dr Singh seems to have retreated into a shell.

The reluctance to take the initiative may also stem from conflicting signals emerging from the other power center, 10 Janpath. In his first term, Dr Singh's prime ministership was boosted by Sonia Gandhi's reassuring presence by his side. This time, the Congress president has been less protective of the prime minister, be it after the Sharm-el-sheikh tangle, the Naxal conflict or fuel pricing. For marginalized Congressmen, be it Mani Shankar Aiyar or Digvijay Singh, this is then open season to keep sniping at the government in the belief that dissent is tolerable.The re-emergence of the National Advisory Council as an alternate policy group has only further undermined cabinet authority.

Which is why it is time not just for the prime minister to assert himself, but for Mrs Gandhi too. Her silence on critical issues is only giving extra ammunition to those who feel that the UPA leadership is either tired or complacent, or perhaps both. Six years ago, it was Mrs Gandhi who handpicked Dr Singh as the chosen one. Now, she needs to help revive his flagging prime ministership before its too late.

Post-script: The capital's gossip bazaar is working overtime, claiming that Dr Singh has already been sounded out for a possible move to Rashtrapati Bhavan in 2012 and a smooth transition of power to Rahul Gandhi. If only politics was as simple as cocktail party chatter!

(the writer is editor in chief, IBN 18 network. Email rajdeep.sardesai@network18online.com)

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Irony: Manmohan was ranked 7 amongst the most respected Global leaders yestderday

Rubaiyat of Omar Khayyam

2010-08-19T00:11:00.002+05:30

Fitzgerald translation, version 1

Morning when dawn's left hand was in the sky
I heard a voice within the tavern cry
Awake my little ones and fill the cup
Before life's liquor in its cup be dry

Rubaiyat of Omar Khayyam is a collection of poems (of which there are about a thousand) attributed to the Persian mathematician and astronomer Omar Khayyám (1048-1123). "Rubaiyat" means "quatrains": verses of four lines.

The Week That wasn't

2010-08-18T00:58:00.002+05:30

Sholay, the Beginning

2010-08-18T00:44:00.000+05:30

Hindi cinema’s biggest blockbuster officially completes 35 years this 15 August, but it was actually born in 1973 in a small room. Screenplay writer Salim Khan remembers how Sholay was conceived

CREATIVE INDIAN

It took us a month to write Sholay in a small room laid with white mattresses that served as the Sippy story-writing room at their Khar office.

When Javed [Akhtar] and I wrote Ramesh Sippy’s Andaaz and Seeta Aur Geeta, we weren’t partners. We worked on it as part of the Sippy story department’s team and received a salary of Rs 750. We had to fight for credit, and when we didn’t get it for Seeta Aur Geeta, we left the Sippys. Writers had no izzat (respect) those days. I still remember how posters of Zanjeer didn’t have our names. So we hired a man with a jeep and got him to paint Salim-Javed in stencil font on all theZanjeer posters from Juhu to Opera House. The man probably was a few drinks down, so he painted Salim-Javed on Pran’s face or Amitabh’s [Bachchan] hands!

After six months, we again got in touch with GP Sippy and [son] Ramesh, but now as the writing team of Salim-Javed. We had two narrations for them. One was the four-line idea of Sholay and the other the complete script of Majboor. GP Sippysaab wanted to make a film with a large canvas. When he heard Majboor, he said, “Filmchalegi (it will work), but there’s no sense in making this in 70 mm and with stereophonic sound.”

We said, “If that’s what you have in mind, listen to Sholay.” Most of Sholay was inspired by Magnificent Seven and also Dirty Dozen, The Five Man Army, Once Upon A Time In The West—a lot of Westerns. Ramesh was more attracted by the fact that Majboor was a complete script with dialogues. But Sippysaab said no. AfterAndaaz and Seeta Aur Geeta, the company was doing well; he wanted to take that risk. We demanded credit and Ramesh agreed. We then sold Majboor’s script to Premji; it was our first script that sold for Rs 2 lakh and Ravi Tandon went on to direct that movie. For Sholay, we were paid Rs 1.5 lakh.

It took us a month to write Sholay in a small room laid with white mattresses that served as the Sippy story-writing room at their Khar office. The dialogues then took us about one-and-a-half months. Javed and I worked at it, while Ramesh Sippy, Satish Bhatnagar and Narendra Bedi pitched in. Once we were done, we all felt we had a blockbuster. In Hollywood, a script is called a ‘property’. In Sholay’s case, we felt we had a huge ‘property’. We now had to have a great cast.

A good screenplay writer always visualises the movie, so we always had people in mind for the characters. For Thakur Baldev Singh’s role, I approached Dilip Kumar. I had also narrated Zanjeer to Dilipsaab in Bandra Gymkhana, but he had turned that down too. Dilipsaab felt the Sholay role had limitations. He wanted to perform comedy and emotion, and he felt this was a straitjacketed role. I met Dilipsaab about eight days ago. When we were chatting, I asked him, “Which films do you wish you had not let go of?” He replied, “Baiju Bawra, Pyaasa, Zanjeer and Sholay.”

When we approached Sanjeev Kumar, he wanted to do Gabbar’s role. He tried to convince us by messing up his hair, staining his teeth and doing some mannerisms. But we felt he had the audience’s sympathy through roles he’d done before; Gabbar had to be completely hateful. We were in search of a newcomer for Gabbar. We had Prem Nathji in mind, but he had a reputation for being difficult. One day, when I was walking along Bandra Bandstand, I bumped into Amjad Khan. I had acted with his father Jayant in a film, so I knew Amjad, who had done the part of a black slave in K Asif’s Love and God. I told him I’d suggest his name; if he got chosen, his career would be set. Amjad did his screen test and was selected because Danny Denzongpa (the other choice) didn’t get back to the Sippys in time.

Sholay was a title I suggested right at the start, but we also toyed with Angaarey. The names of Sholay’s characters came from real life. I had two college friends in Indore, Veeru and Jai. Veerandar Singh Bias was the son of a jagirdar at Khajrana Kothi—he died just six months ago. Jai Singh Rao Kalevar died four years ago. He had worked in a company in Mumbai, then grew vegetables at a farm in Thane. They were my drinking buddies. Jai used to grumble that I never gave him royalty, but inside, he was pleased. Thakur Baldev Singh’s name came from my father-in-law [Salma’s father], who was probably Mumbai’s oldest practising dentist at 80 years. He was very happy I’d made him famous the world over with Sholay.

The strangest dialogues in Sholay became popular—it was so unfair (laughs). ‘Arre O Sambha! Kitne aadmi thhe?’ ‘Poore pachaas hazaar’… these were not really dialogues. I particularly liked the speech that Thakur gives when he finds out his family is dead. It’s also well-known today that the scene where Jai speaks about Veeru to Basanti’s mother was taken from the real-life incident where I recommended Javed to Honey Irani’s mother.

Once the shoot started, Javed and I visited the sets to make changes; there weren’t many, though. I suppose the most challenging parts were the action sequences, wonderfully created by foreign technicians Jim (Allen) and Gerry (Crampton). Dwarka Divecha captured it all brilliantly. After he died, there was a vacuum in that department. Ramesh Sippy put together such a team. Sholay became a cult film because all of us were so excited and at the peak of our careers.

When Sholay released, for four weeks, the trade papers went on about how it was a flop. Yet, we were confident. As Salim-Javed, we took out a personal, full-page advertisement in trade papers saying Sholay would do business of Rs 1 crore per territory. Of course, we were mistaken. It did business of much more. It didn’t work at first because the first show was at 9:30 am and the last at 2 am—the timings were odd. Once that changed, it ran for five years in Minerva.

After Sholay, we were in great demand as writers. Everyone came to us and we increased our price until we were paid more than even actresses. Salim-Javed was the first choice and they thought our success was fool-proof. Yet, Sholay can never be attempted again. I’ve seen so many spoofs, caricatures and even suffered through Ram Gopal Varma Ki Aag (laughs). Yet, I have nothing against interpretations; we ourselves took inspiration from Hollywood films.

I had a personal relationship with most of those who worked on Sholay, like Sanjeev Kumar and Amjad Khan. I still occasionally talk with Dharmendra. But I have no relationship with Amitabh Bachchan. He goes about crediting Dharmendra for having recommended him to the Sippys when even Dharmendra has denied that. The truth is that I kept a trial of Zanjeer for the Sippy family so they could see what Amitabh was made of. I introduced him to Prakash Mehra and Manmohan Desai. The ‘Angry Young Man’ was my discovery—my father was a policeman for 32 years and the character was created from material I got from that. You should give credit where it is due. I’m willing to sit down and sort it out with Amitabh, but he doesn’t even see the problem, so I have no desire to keep in touch.

I don’t live in the past glory of Sholay or Deewar. I may have played marbles or sat on a tree as a child, but if you still see me sitting on a tree, you’d say, “Salim Khan paagal ho gaye (has gone mad).” I wouldn’t change a thing of Sholay, just like you wouldn’t tamper with a winning side in cricket.

+++

As told to Shradha Sukumaran

2010-08-17T22:59:00.000+05:30

Raymond ad :)

2010-08-17T22:57:00.001+05:30

Shikar Kalmadi

2010-08-17T22:55:00.000+05:30

2010-08-17T19:34:00.002+05:30

10 reasons why Mera Bharat is not quite Mahaan

By churumuri

Yet another Independence Day (August 15) has come and gone with a culturally bankrupt English movie channel actually having the absence of mind to show a film titled Independence Day (July 4).

And, yet another independence day has come and gone with a linguistically challenged and militaristically inclined Kannada news channel, a) airing Hindi desha bhakti geethe as if patriotism doesn’t lend itself to the local language, and b) saluting soldiers as if the Indian army had a secret role to play in securing freedom.

And, yet another independence day has come and gone with A.R. Rehman‘s Vande Mataram putting up an increasingly weak show against A.R. Rehman‘s Jai Ho.

Nevertheless, as word after vacuous word flowed from corrupt leaders and crooked bureaucrats, as they have for 63 years before, SUJATA RAJPAL lists ten reasons why all this patriotic bullshit leaves her stone cold.

And why, despite independence, she admires, well, the West:

1) If you misuse public money, you can’t get away scot free, regardless of who you are or who you are related to or who you know in the echelons of power.
2) If you have a grudge against a public servant, you know how to seek redress. And you know you will get it, regardless of who she is or who she is related to.
3) You are held accountable for what you do irresepctive of who you are or what strings you pull or what ever you can do to hush it all up.
4) The CEO’s kid and the cleaning lady’s children go to the same school, learn the same lessons and have an equal opportunity when they step out in the real world.
5) There is no caste column in the school application forms or in the company service records. And it is not the yardstick with which someone gauges you and treats you.
6) No one looks down upon you if you don’t speak their language. Or no one looks up at you if you speak a language “superior” than theirs.
7) Religion is a personal question like one’s age and salary. It is certainly not the USP of political parties to ride to power or pull someone down.
8) You don’t have to answer ‘where is your native?’ from even a bank clerk just because you look different. And get treated differently as a result.
9) Your single status does not worry your colleagues, neighbours or their visiting relatives. And your sexual prowess is not a mater of public debate.
10) You will not die from the bite of a street dog. Or from a passing mosquito. Or from a little insect in yoursoppu.

A Wednesday…( Rephrased) for all software engineers…

2010-08-15T04:35:00.000+05:30

By RAJESH SINGH |

Got it as forward…funny and interesting at the same time

All of you who have seen the movie ‘Wednesday’… will love these rephrased Naseerudin Shah Dialogue’s…

Project Manager Rathore : kaun ho tum..??? kya pehcan hai tumhari ?

Unknown Caller : Kaun hoon mein…mein vo hu jo aaj committment karne se darta hai, Mein vo hoon jo aaj ghar jaane se darta ha, ye soch ke kahin ghar wale pehchanne se inkar na kar de…

mein vo hoon jo, aaj job change karta hai to sochta hai ki kahin recession mein mujhe company se na nikal de..

mein vo hoon jiski biwi usse friday ko dus bar phone karti hai, “kya kar rahe ho..?? kaam jyada hai..?? thak gaye ho..?? ”
mera haal poochne ke liye ya kaam poochne ke liye nahi, rathore saab… balki vo ye jaanaa chahti hai ki… kahin hamesha ki tarah end moment pe
boss ke bulane pe mein saturdary ko bhi office to nahi ja raha…

mein vo hoon jo breakfast ke time pe dinner karta hai, lunch time pe breakfast karta hai, dinner ke time pe lunch karta hai.. vo bhi time mil jae to…

mein vo hoon jo aksar phasta hain
kabhi Interviews ke sawaal mey phasta hai , kabhi Badi companiyon ke jaal mey phasta hai, kabhi boss aur client ke bawaal mey fasta hai.

Walk-In ki bheed to dekhi hogi aapne rathore saab… us bheed mein se koi bhi chehra chun lijie.. mein vo hoon..

I’m the…..STUPID COMMON SOFTWARE ENGINEER….

Happy Independence Day

2010-08-15T04:28:00.000+05:30

2010-08-09T11:53:00.002+05:30

Nine words a woman uses

2010-08-09T11:51:00.000+05:30

(1) Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

(2) Five Minutes:< /SPAN> If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

(3) Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.

(4) Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don’t Do It!

(5)Loud Sigh: This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to # 3 for the meaning of nothing.)

(6) That’s Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That’s okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

(7) Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or faint. Just say you’re welcome. (I want to add in a clause here – This is true, unless she says ‘Thanks a lot’ – that is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say ‘you’re welcome’, that will bring on a ‘whatever’).

(8) Whatever: Is a woman’s way of saying F– YOU!

(9) Don’t worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking ‘What’s wrong?’ For the woman’s response refer to # 3.

internet news

2010-08-09T11:45:00.002+05:30

2010-08-09T11:40:00.002+05:30

19 Things You Didn't Know About Star Wars

2010-08-09T11:29:00.000+05:30

It has to work!

2010-08-09T11:21:00.001+05:30

Perform a pig Prank

2010-08-09T11:20:00.000+05:30

How Do I Win Rock Paper Scissors Every Time?

2010-08-09T11:12:00.000+05:30

How Do I Win Rock Paper Scissors Every Time?

How Do I Win Rock, Paper, Scissors Every Time?

How can I win at Rock, Paper Scissors?
Have you ever gotten tired of being crushed by Rock, cut to shreds by Scissors, or smothered by Paper? Do you ever feel like you are fighting in a game of chance which fate developed to mock you? Well, here is some great news. The graphic above has information compiled about Rock, Paper, Scissors (RPS) from the World RPS Society, the masters of Rock, Paper, Scissors, to help you overcome your opponents and understand the strategies needed to win Rock, Paper, Scissors every time.

What are some RPS game winning strategies?
As its name implies, Rock, Paper, Scissors, like a really limited periodic table, involves three elements. Each one of these elements has a winning, losing, and tying combination against an opponent. On paper, this sounds like there is only ever a 1/3 chance of winning with each throw. But introduce a little human psychology into your game, and you have an edge and a game plan for winning. Eating a good breakfast before a big match or taking some healthy trim might even be a way to beat your opponent!

Where and when did RPS begin?
Forms of RPS can be found all over the world today, but the earliest known version of the game dates all the way back to the 1700s in Japan. The Japanese played a game called Jan-Ken-Pon, their version of RPS. This means the Japanese have been playing RPS longer than anyone else in the world. Maybe this is why Paper resembles a karate chop.

Today the game of Rock, Paper, Scissors is an officially sanctioned sport with its own international body of competitors. The World RPS Society hosts annually the RPS World Championship. Yes, there is prize money for winning RPS. You never bought into that whole ‘bragging rights’ thing that much, right?

How do I play RPS against a dude?
Males tend to come out aggressive with Rock on their first throw. Turn the odds in your favor with Paper.

What if my opponent is a pro at RPS?
Expect experienced players to throw Paper when they play against a newcomer. Showing Scissors should put him in his place.

Is there a trick to beating a newbie at RPS?
Because of their lack of mental stamina, when inexperienced players lose they tend to copycat the last winning throw. Crush them with its opposite.

In RPS, what should I do if my opponent throws two rocks in a row?
More than likely your opponent has noticed this trend too and will change his pattern. But this only leaves him the options of Paper or Scissors. Countering with Rock should do the job.

How can I predict my opponent’s next move in RPS?
Just like in the game of Poker, people will give away their next move subconsciously. Watch your opponent’s hands before you throw. Are all his fingers tense? That means he is thinking of throwing Rock. Throw Paper to win. Is your opponent’s hand relaxed with all the fingers loose? That is an indication that he is readying Paper. Give him Scissors. If just two fingers are loose or tight, Scissors is the diagnosis and Rock is the remedy.

Are there any stats that can help me win at RPS?
For the math-stats geek, or those who like to play the odds, paper is thrown the least often at 29.6% of the time. Rock and Scissors are thrown the most often, at 35.4% and 35%, respectively. When there is need for a changeup, use Paper as an unexpected option to surprise your opponent.

What can I learn by watching my opponent play others?
If you get the opportunity, do not shy away from watching your future opponents play others. Pay attention to the details. Do they give away any throwing tendencies? Does their play style or attitude suggest a pattern to their play? Observe, analyze, and counter accordingly!

I am getting smashed in RPS; are there any tricks I can pull?
As a last resort when all else is lost, you can always attempt to pull a fast-one on your opponent. Giving him the ‘Spock gesture’ is unexpected, highly illegal, but also impossible to counter.