The Canary Files

2nd Blogoversary: Finding Meaning in the Here & Now

2013-05-11T15:37:00.000-05:00

2 years.

Wow. That truly snuck up on me, so much that I didn't even realize it had happened until after the fact. I remember last year around this time, scrambling to publish posts detailing my favorite moments of the first year and the obligatory celebration cake. I was in a very time consuming show that required me to arrive at the theater hours in advance for makeup and wardrobe, so in order to make my everyday life, my actor life, and my life as a blogger all fit into one I had to extend the hours in the day, sacrificing even more hours of sleep beyond my usual night-owl nature. In short, I was not the happiest, nor the healthiest, camper.

But this year, that didn't happen. Certain factors remain the same: the juggling act of my full-time job, another time-intensive theatre piece, teaching and training at the gym, and my compulsive habit of burning midnight oil. But what sets this blogoversary apart was my refusal to make it a big deal, coupled with my refusal to compromise my health and my mental and emotional wellbeing in order to do what I imagine is expected of me.

And that last part is key.

As far as I know, there is no manual regarding the prerequisites of being a successful blogger. But I created this entire world of judgment surrounding the horrible consequences of not posting on the exact day of my blogoversary, of not being able to share a cake recipe on that same day because there hadn't been time to take photos, and the transparency of just how amateur I was. What would people think?

As it turns out, they appeared to think of me just as they had before. No subscriptions lost or gained, no huge spike or dip in my site traffic, and no fireworks, parade, or press conference. They were simply two more posts of the 139 I have published to date. And just as the ones previous and the ones to follow, I learned from them. I learned what it means for me to be successful in my writing, my photography, and my recipe development.

And I was yet again reminded that self-compassion and honoring the spirit can never fall behind pleasing others or "measuring up."

So this year, to celebrate the anniversary of my blog, I hope to share favorites with you in the coming weeks. In the mix will be peanut butter cookies, bitter melon salad, lychee ice cream, and Indian-spiced brownie bites, a combination of personal favorites as well as favorites of others who are near and dear to me. I also hope to publish a short shopping guide for those who have ever wondered, "What would Jonathan buy?," just in time for National Celiac Awareness Month.

What these all have in common is inspiration - going back to the roots of what fuels my passion and feeds my soul. Given that it's been 3 weeks since my last post, you may think that I'm lacking in inspiration, which would make sense. But in actuality, I've been overflowing with it - so much that it's difficult to sort through, decipher, or make little bite sized portions to chew on. I was becoming agitated, with approaches to my keyboard in that precious hour or two when I could actually sit and write continually met with perpetual pressing of the delete button, nothing coming out quite right.

Which is when I started spending more time in nature.

Bees and cactus blossoms on Mt. Bonnell.

In a field I always drove by, but never stopped in. Until now.

Swans overhead as the sun sets on Lake Travis.

We've been having unpredictable, fairly crazy weather as of late here in Texas, and all over the country and the world, really. Here, rather than diving headfirst into triple digits in April after a temperately bland Winter, we're actually having Spring. Cool breezes, foggy mornings, sun-filled days and balmy evenings perfect for a bike ride. Rain, even. [gasp] And the blessings have spanned not only a more gradual transition to Summer, but also meadows of wildflowers, blooming trees and heady-scented vines at every turn, and perennials awakening from their sleep. And it occurred to me: Just as there are seasons in nature, there are seasons within us. Physically, emotionally, spiritually, creatively. And walking through those meadows, sitting on top of mountains overlooking the rivers and lakes, talking to the flowers as pollen-laden bees whispered secrets in my ear and butterflies perched on my shoulder, I found permission to just "let it be." No one tends to these meadows, and yet these flowers, these plants, and these insects continually come back, prolific and exuberant in their beauty.

And if I allowed myself to sleep at night, if I allowed myself the space after arriving home to eat without planning posts or conjuring recipes in my head or posting something fabulous on Instagram or Facebook, and if I allowed myself to take care of myself before taking care of what I "needed to do," then everything would work out. Like the air stewards say, "Secure your own mask before securing the masks of others." Time to write would happen. Time to cook would happen. Time to be the best me in that moment would happen. Time to live life would happen. But if I tried to make it happen and control on my time, I would just be left waiting, pressing that delete button.

So this is how I mark The Canary Files' 2nd Anniversary. With an affirmation of why I share my journey on a road less traveled, and why I'm a canary who sings because of his circumstances, not in spite of them. I am so grateful for the past two years and all that I've learned, both about writing and sharing and about myself. Now I look forward to the discoveries, the renewals, the challenges, and the growth in the years to come.

Wishing you Love, Light, and the gift of finding meaning, here and now.

Gluten-Free, Vegan Chai-Spiced Pancakes

2013-04-20T14:01:00.000-05:00

I remember the first time I had homemade pancakes. Growing up, I'd had plenty of pancakes made at home, but they always came from a box. Just add water and eggs and voila - fluffy pancakes to stack high and then drown in maple syrup. But the time I'm referring to is when I first had pancakes from scratch.

I was in grad school, and over at friend's house watching a movie. Afterwards, we were both hungry, so he disappeared into the kitchen. As I heard the open and closing of cabinet doors and the sound of metal utensils being placed on granite counter tops, curiosity got the better of me. Entering the kitchen, I saw a skillet, a whisk, a large mixing bowl, and he was lining up eggs, milk, and flour next to the stove. Still clueless, I asked what he was making, and when he said pancakes, I remember my face scrunching up in equal parts amazement and surprise, with perhaps a dash or two of doubt. He wasn't even using a recipe - so strange.

But when it came time to eat them, I was simply amazed at how good they were. While previously I had always been that guy who enjoyed his syrup with some pancakes, I found that I hardly needed any with these - there were so flavorful. Slightly nutty, spiced with cinnamon, and made with applesauce and honey. At the time, I seriously couldn't believe that pancakes made from scratch could taste better than pancakes from a box - that was my frame of mind then. But there I was, taking the leftover pancakes with me back to my apartment, being proved wrong.

Fast forward 11 years and here I am making my own pancakes from scratch for the first time, gluten-free and vegan. And when tasting them brought me back to that same feeling of amazement, surprise, and comfort, I found inspiration to share them with you.

FYI, you may never go back to pancakes from a box after this.

Chai-Spiced Pancakes

Gluten-Free & Vegan

Active Prep Time: 5 minutes

Inactive Prep Time: at least 30 minutes and up to 8 hours

Cooking Time: 2-4 minutes per pancake

Yield: Four to six 5" pancakes

generous 3/4 c (4 oz) gluten free all-purpose flour

1 tablespoon coconut sugar

1 teaspoon GF baking powder

1/3 teaspoon salt

1 teaspoon cinnamon

1/8 teaspoon nutmeg

1/8 teaspoon cardamom

scant 1/2 c (4 fl. oz) unsweetened non-dairy milk

1/2 (2-3 oz) ripe banana, mashed

2 tablespoons (1 fl. oz) oil

1 teaspoon GF vanilla extract

1 teaspoon whole psyllium husks or ground chia powder

extra 1/4-1/2 c (2-4 fl. oz) unsweetened non-dairy milk

oil for greasing pan

What you need: medium mixing bowl, small mixing bowl, whisk/sifter, spatula, nonstick skillet/pan, cooking spatula

1. Whisk or sift dry ingredients together in medium mixing bowl. Combine wet ingredients and psyllium husks in small mixing bowl until well incorporated.

2. Add wet mixture to dry mixture to form a generally smooth, thick batter. If bananas are not your thing or you don't have any on hand, you can substitute applesauce or another pureed fruit.

3. I suggest letting the batter chill for at least 30 minutes, during which you will notice the batter thicken as the flours and psyllium husks/chia powder hydrate. Then add the extra 1/4 to 1/2 cup of liquid to loosen the batter to your preference. Thicker, cake-like pancakes whet your appetite? Add less. Thinner pancakes with crisper edges more your speed? Add more.

*Note: You can definitely chill this batter overnight if you'd prefer to make the batter in advance. I often make the batter before bed, and then add the extra liquid and cook the pancakes in the morning. Big time-saver for busybodies like me.

4. Warm pan over medium to medium-low heat and very lightly grease with oil. Add batter and swirl pan to form a roughly 5" circle. Bubbles will rise through the batter as it cooks, producing tiny holes in the batter as they pop and release vapor. Wait until this stops and the edges of the pancake appear dry/matte. Flip and cook until finished, usually only a fraction of the time it takes to cook the first side.

5. Continue until all the batter is gone, regreasing as needed.

Flip me, I dare you...

They say the first pancake won't be that pretty. Pretty tasty, perhaps.

A happy and handsome family of pancakes.

I used Michael Ruhlman's ratio for pancakes, 2 parts flour / 2 parts liquid / 1 egg, as a jumping off point. As most gluten-free flours have a greater capacity for absorbing liquid and I wanted a vegan pancake, the only major adjustments I had to make were adding more liquid and substituting mashed banana for the egg, resulting in a ratio that looks more like this:

2 parts flour / 3-4 parts liquid / 1 part egg substitute

And using this ratio, the sky really is the limit. I've made these grain-free using ground almonds, buckwheat flour, and tapioca starch, I've added goji berries, fresh blueberries, puffed millet, and dried coconut to the batter, I will sometimes curdle the non-dairy milk with vinegar or lemon juice for buttermilk pancakes, and I've even made them savory with sun-dried tomatoes and rosemary. So many ways to make them your own - to make them special. And when you know how to use a ratio like this and gain a better understanding of how ingredients work/play with one another, you really don't need a recipe.

And hindsight 20/20, that's not so strange at all. [wistful sigh]

Ratio Rally! Gluten-Free, Vegan Teff & Black Sesame Shortbread Cookies

2013-04-03T09:31:00.001-05:00

Welcome to another Gluten Free Ratio Rally challenge! After sitting the last four months out, it's good to be back, especially with this particular challenge: shortbread. Shortbread cookies were one of my first baking successes after transitioning to a gluten-free way of living, and in fact, my most popular and most requested recipe to date is for rosemary lemon shortbread cookies. And while I could easily have rehashed or regurgitated that recipe, what fun would that be?

Give me baking trials, give me learning opportunities, give me inspiration to re-envision and reinvent.

For those unfamiliar with the Rally, it's a monthly blogging event based upon the basic baking ratios proposed by Michael Ruhlman in his book, Ratio. In it, he explains how ratios, and the relationships between ingredients, are the foundation of cooking and baking. Ruhlman encourages the reader to understand how basic ingredients like eggs, flour, milk, and butter work together, and how given different proportions the same ingredients can result in a variety of things, from pasta to pancakes to muffins. Now, since all of this was written in the context of gluten, in February of 2011, Shauna James Ahern (aka gluten-free girl) decided to start a monthly blogging event where the ratios set forth in Ruhlman's book would be put to the test using gluten-free ingredients. Each month features a different food item with its proposed ratio and each month's challenge is hosted by a different blogger. So for March, we had the task of shortbread hosted by Meaghan from The Wicked Good Vegan.

While in previous months, I often had to negotiate egg substitutes to veganize baked goods like brownies, cookies, and crepes, it was so nice to not have to worry about that here. The proposed ratio for shortbread is simple and egg-free and sticks to Ruhlman's general ratio for cookies:

3 parts flour : 2 parts fat : 1 part sugar

Another nice thing about this month's challenge? This ratio worked with no modifications. And looking back at the recipe for my rosemary lemon shortbread cookies, it was almost the exact same proportions. However, with shortbread, there's actually a ratio within the ratio which helps get at the specificity of what sets shortbread apart from cookies of the chocolate chip, molasses, or sugar variety.

Shortbread is crumbly by nature due to the large amount of fat, which coats the proteins in the flour, thus inhibiting them from binding to one another and forming stretchy networks. This also makes shortbread an excellent candidate for gluten-free ingredients, as its tender texture is a result of gluten being constrained rather than developed. And when one thinks of shortbread, some adjectives like "sandy" or "gritty" may come to mind. And this is where additional breakdown of the flour part of the ratio can be helpful.

Palette to please the palate.

Of those 3 parts flour, I have found that using a light flour or starch (e.g., tapioca starch, white rice flour, arrowroot) for up to 2/3 of it and balancing it with a whole grain, heavier flour (e.g., buckwheat, brown rice, quinoa) for as little as 1/3 of it allows you to play with that texture, making it as sandy, sturdy, smooth melt-in-your-mouth, or delicate as you like. Of course, you can opt to use an all-purpose gluten-free flour for all 3 parts, but as I said earlier, what fun would that be?

So my idea of fun for today's contribution to the Rally was to use ground black sesame seeds and teff for my heavier flours. Only two ingredients, yes, but the combination of the two lends a beautiful, earthy, complexity that calls forth several different flavor notes on the palate: nutty, bitter, sweet, fruity, smoky. And when you combine that with each cookie's crisp crumble and interesting bluish-brown color, it makes for quite an experience for the senses. And when each bite can bring you to all those places and more, that my friends, is good eating.

Black Sesame & Teff Shortbread Cookies

Gluten-Free, Grain-Free, & Vegan

Active Prep Time: 5-10 minutes

Inactive Prep Time: at least 2 hours

Baking Time: 15-20 minutes

Yield: 16-18 cookies

1/2 c (80g) slightly softened Earth Balance vegan butter

1/4 c (40g) blonde coconut palm sugar

1/2 c (60g) tapioca starch

1/4 c (40g) teff flour

2 tablespoons (20g) ground black sesame

1/2 teaspoon cinnamon

1/3 teaspoon salt

sesame seeds, to garnish

What you need: medium mixing bowl, food processor, whisk or hand mixer, spatula, parchment paper, baking sheet, fork, cooling rack

1. To begin, add coconut palm sugar to food processor and run until you reach a finer consistency. You want it to be somewhere between the consistency of caster sugar and powdered sugar. This will promote a crisper, more tender texture.

2. Cream ground sugar and softened vegan butter with a whisk or hand mixer until fluffy and lighter in color. I used the organic coconut Earth Balance.

3. Add all dry ingredients to the food processor and run until well incorporated. This acts in place of a sifter, aerating, sieving, and blending simultaneously.

Note: The temperature of your components is quite important. For shortbread, you definitely want them to be cool to discourage melting of the fat. So if it's hot in the kitchen or you're at all in doubt, allow your butter and dry ingredients to chill in the refrigerator for a few minutes and then resume working on your dough.

4. Gradually fold dry ingredients into creamed butter with a spatula until just combined. A shaggy, slightly crumbly dough is what you're after. Form into a ball with your hands.

5. Cover and chill dough for at least 2 hours.

6. When ready to bake, remove dough from refrigerator to temper and preheat oven to 325 degrees.

7. When the dough is still cold, but workable, form into roughly tablespoon-sized balls and flatten to about 1/2", spaced about 2" apart, on a parchment lined baking sheet.

8. Perforate the top of each cookie with the tines of the fork and sprinkle with sesame seeds.

9. Bake for 15-20 minutes, or until just solid to the touch and matte in appearance. The brown color will also deepen from caramel to milk chocolate. If you err on anything, bake less, and if needed, return to the oven to bake longer.

10. After removing from oven, allow to cool for 5-10 minutes on baking sheet and then transfer to a cooling rack to continue cooling completely.

Creamy to crumbly.

Chilled dough ready to make mouths happy.

In the process of garnishing.

Ready for their closeup.

So taking into account the differentiation between light and heavier flours, my shortbread ratio is:

1.5 parts whole grain/heavy flour : 1.5 parts starch/light flour : 2 parts fat : 1 part sugar

Again, the ratio within the ratio can definitely wiggle depending on how you like your shortbread. If you want it lighter and crisper, adjust your flour ratio in favor of starch, and if you're after something sturdier, vice versa.

I love ground black sesame. Beyond great texture and a sizable list of nutritional benefits, it also offers amazing flavor. And the combination of it with the teff and cinnamon creates a dynamic depth on the palate, giving you all their flavors individually, but also their flavors in synergy. I remember a coworker trying one and being unable to pin point all the flavor notes she was experiencing, there were just so many. Proud papa moment. And while ground black sesame, or black sesame powder, is a staple in my kitchen, I know that that is not the case for most. You can find it in many Asian supermarkets or groceries, often in the breakfast or hot tea sections.

Flavor you can't help but savor.

And there you have my return to the Gluten Free Ratio Rally. Thank you again to our magnificent hostess, Meaghan, of The Wicked Good Vegan, and please check out the links of all my fellow Ralliers below.

Mary Fran / FrannyCakes / Jammie Dodgers

Meaghan / The Wicked Good Vegan / Lime Shortbread with Juniper Berry Glaze

Meg / Gluten-Free Boulangerie / Lemon Bars with Lemon Shortbread Crust
Morri / Meals with Morri / Earl Grey Shortbread Cookies
Rebecca / Salts Kitchen / Shortbread Two Ways

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You can never have too much shortbread. You can quote me on that.

Operation "Feed Me" : Gaining Muscle on a Gluten-Free, Vegan Diet - Part 3

2013-03-29T01:32:00.002-05:00

This is the final part of a 3 part series on how a super-busy, skinny guy like me was able to gain weight and lean muscle mass on a gluten-free, vegan diet. I'm sharing it in response to several requests. The title is an homage to one of my favorite musicals, "Little Shop of Horrors," and the mantra of the alien plant in its quest to grow bigger.

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Well, here we are, finally at Part 3 where I will share with you my diet, not only the things that I ate, but also why I ate them, throwing in a little nerdy biology/chemistry, a dash of wisdom, and a few more photos charting my progress. So back to it.

According to my diet tracker app, I needed to consume at least 2740 calories a day to gain at least 1 pound of muscle mass a week, which was my goal. But always the overachiever, after the first two weeks, I was averaging 3250 calories per day, with more structure and only minor adjustments to my diet. At the outset, my body certainly seemed confused. "Are you sure you want to eat this much?" But after the first full week of working out and eating more, it began to feel right - like it had been something I was missing all along. And when I thought about it, it was something I was missing. I am super active, working full time, teaching three classes a week, and rehearsing during the evening five to six days a week. So was it any wonder that I was prone to moodiness in the direction of resentment and frustration with a desire to do simply nothing but stand or sit still and not use my brain? I wasn't feeding my body enough fuel to sustain the demands I was placing on it, and in many cases, it was continuing forward in spite of itself.

So, speaking of fuel, what does a gluten-free vegan eat to get that many calories in a day? Here is an assortment of photos via my Instagram feed to give you an idea of my typical meals.

Breakfast

Lunch

Dinner

Beans, vegetables, coconut, sprouted nuts, seeds, and tofu, fruit, and fat: That's what I already eat on a daily basis. I just ate more, with an emphasis on variety and diversity of nutrition. I ate copious amounts of organic salad and raw or sauteed dark, leafy greens, often with hummus, nuts, and stacked high with local vegetables. Coconut oil, dried coconut, and coconut milk were thematic in my cooking and eating. I adopted the practice of soaking beans nearly every night to be prepped the next day, making them easier to cook, making their nutrition more bioavailable, and justifying me cackling like a mad scientist in his laboratory. I had at least one protein shake a day of either sprouted brown rice protein, hemp, and/or pea protein, if not two on a workout day. And I began to consider changing my address to the local smoothie shop, as I was often there post-gym or post-work, pre-rehearsal for a pick-me-up on the go. To keep up with my metabolism and to avoid dips in blood sugar and the inevitable 'hangriness' that would ensue, I carried raw, sprouted energy bars with me wherever I went. And in terms of grain-derived carbohydrates, I ate rice and corn on occasion, but I mostly ate seeds and grass-fruit like quinoa, millet, and buckwheat - good sources of fiber, protein, and other nutrients.

Soaking lentils & mung beans for soup, millet & pepitas for breakfast.

Understanding how to pack nutrients and calories on given what may seem like small changes was extremely interesting. For example, boosting any meal with healthy fats by adding nuts, a drizzle of extra virgin olive oil, hemp oil, or coconut oil, avocado, or a sprinkle of seeds. And speaking of healthy fats, learning how crucial they can be for anabolic muscle development as well as overall wellbeing, particularly essential fatty acids (EFAs) and medium chain triglycerides (MCTs).

[dons 'nerd' glasses]

EFAs have a wide range of health benefits, including the promotion of tissue and joint recovery after strenuous activity, hormone production, vitamin absorption, bolstering the immune system, and cardiovascular health. EFAs, as the name implies, are essential for the body to function optimally, but they cannot be produced by the body, so they must be sourced from our diet. My favorite sources include flax, chia, and hemp seeds, olive oil, and tree nuts. MCTs can be beneficial both pre and post-workout, as they are easily metabolized and become a readily available source of energy for exercise but can also serve to inhibit muscle protein breakdown as a result of exercise. MCTs have also been shown to help boost metabolism, cardiovascular, and immune function. Coconut is an amazing source for MCTs. And while coconut oil is technically a saturated fat, saturated fats can increase testosterone levels, which then can promote muscle gain. So despite what you may have heard, fat is most definitely not a bad thing. Moderation and mindfulness are key, and understanding when the body needs it and when it may not.

Paying attention to these variables made a huge difference in my results. It also made it fun for me, figuring out my diet, and ultimately the transformation of my body, like a choose-your-own-adventure puzzle. And seeing how it wasn't necessarily the source of the calories that mattered, but the quality of them and their intended purpose - that was awesome for me to affirm in myself and also awesome for me to show my trainer and those around me who had trouble conceiving that a gluten-free vegan diet could be so nutritionally comprehensive. I used to think that I needed animal protein in order to be an athlete and get results from the gym - now I know differently.

Where I started January 1st, 2013.

Weeks 2-3

Weeks 3-4

Weeks 4-5

Side-by-side comparison of Weeks 2 & 5 with a net gain of nearly 8 pounds.
The case to my phone isn't the only thing that changed.

In closing, I'd like to leave you with a few general tips that can help set you up for success when it comes to healthy weight gain and increasing lean muscle mass, regardless if you're gluten-free and/or vegan:

Get your Zzzz. Your body does most of its repair and recovery when you're sleeping. So if you're increasing the exertion of the body in the gym, not only should you be upping your calories, but you should be upping your sleep hours as well.
Digestive assistance, please. Whenever you're increasing your caloric intake, especially if it's by more than 600 calories, help your body help itself by also increasing your fiber intake or introducing probiotic and/or digestive enzyme supplements. I used psyllium, chia seeds, coconut kefir, and a supplement of both papain and bromelain. This helps everything to stay in 'working order' and can also maximize the benefit of all that you're consuming.
Slowly and surely. Skipping ahead in your fitness goals won't get you there faster. If you want lasting results, do your best to make decisions, in terms of both diet and exercise, that you can maintain. Of course you want to challenge the body, but you also want each step up to be gradual enough that your body can adjust and adapt accordingly. Overtraining and bingeing are no bueno.

And there you have it. I remember asking my trainer if he wanted to see pictures of me at my target weight, so he would know what my goal 'looked' like. But he declined, saying that it was far more important to gauge it by how I 'feel' more than anything. And he was so right. At the end of last year I was considering buying new wardrobe basics to accommodate the slimmer me. But now everything fits again, I no longer feel self-conscious being hugged or how my face looks when I smile, and I'm filling out the arms and chest of my shirts and backside of my pants better than I ever did. [cue cat call] I also have more consistent energy, less feelings of being spread too thin (even when that's exactly what's happening), and an awesome feeling of being stronger, more present, more confident, and dare I say, more alive.

I feel more like myself - more than I ever knew I could feel. And having the opportunity to share that much more of me now is a true gift. Priceless and cherished.

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As a disclaimer, this is what worked for me. I have a unique perspective, coming from both a background of nutrition as well as fitness, which undoubtedly played into my quick success. And while I may have that background, I am not speaking as a professional nor as an authority recommending any type of diet in particular for managing weight. I learned that a high-fat and high-protein diet worked best for me in this situation - it may be different for someone else. Additionally, I was never at any time asked to promote MyFitnessPal.com for weight management purposes. All opinions expressed in this post are my own and volunteered by me. This was simply my experience.

If you have any questions or would like further information on the specifics of my workout routines or my diet, please feel free to email me. I would love to hear from you!

Operation "Feed Me" : Gaining Muscle on a Gluten-Free, Vegan Diet - Part 2

2013-03-27T00:35:00.001-05:00

This is Part 2 of a 3 part series on how a super-busy, skinny guy like me was able to gain weight and lean muscle mass on a gluten-free, vegan diet. I'm sharing it in response to several requests. The title is an homage to one of my favorite musicals, "Little Shop of Horrors," and the mantra of the alien plant in its quest to grow bigger.

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Hey! Sincere thanks for coming back to read more. So as promised, today I'm going to discuss 'how' I was able to gain 10 pounds of additional muscle mass in 7 weeks. Breaking it down to its bare bones, the formula was quite simple. Increase my workload in the gym with an emphasis on weight training and boost my calories to match and exceed my caloric expenditure. But of course, when it came to the execution of that formula, particularly upping my food intake and creating time for the gym beyond the times I was there to teach, it was much easier said than done. But when motivation combines with having the tools to carry out a vision, anything is possible.

So allow me to explain my 'tools.'

I met with my trainer once a week, on Monday morning at 9am, for approximately one hour. And then 4 more days out of the week, depending on which ones my schedule would allow, I would work out 60-90 minutes, with each session including 5-10 minutes of moderate cardio to warm up, and then a rotating focus on upper body push or pull (e.g., pushing weights or my body away, or pulling weights or body towards), squats, leg curls, and one-legged hip dominant exercises (e.g., rising from a seated position using only one leg), and both abdominal and core stabilizing exercises. I made time to stretch and roll-out every workout and took at least two days each week to rest and recover.

Arms gaining inches and definition after 2 weeks.

Now, while many would consider this to be the hard part, I relished this part of the challenge. While I am quite peaceful and compassionate by nature, I am also quite competitive. I love to succeed. I enjoy the opportunity to erase doubt. And seeing how the added time in the gym was paying off in my body, not only in terms of appearance but also in terms of feeling, just added more fuel to my fire. I wanted to not only meet and exceed the standards set for me by myself and my trainer, I wanted to forge new ones.

So you may think it ironic when I say that the hard part was the eating. Me, Mr. Foodie. But my dietary habits until this point were sporadic, opportunistic eating, squeezing it in when time would allow. But both my increased time in the gym as well as my goal to compensate for those calories spent would not accommodate that lack of structure. I needed to hold myself accountable for altering my way of living to create new possibilities for myself.

So, perhaps the greatest 'tool' I discovered was an app recommended to my by my trainer, MyFitnessPal.com. It not only helped me to keep track of the calories I consumed, but it also helped me to estimate how many calories I would need to reach my goal of 1 pound per week, taking into account my already very active lifestyle. And it also established parameters for me regarding how my diet should "look," in terms of carbohydrates, fat, and protein. And finally, to top it off, it also gave me access to a shared database of food products' nutrition facts - the piece de resistance, for me. If anyone, anywhere, had ever input the nutrition facts for a specific item, I would be able to search for it and then add those nutrition facts per serving to my daily tally. And if it had never been input, I could add it myself, for my benefit as well as anyone else using the app.

While I was never one to pay attention to numbers
when it came to food, seeing how my calories
broke down was really helpful.

Balanced diet takes on a whole new meaning.

The total caloric goal set for me was 2740, with a goal of 91g of fat, up to 30g of saturated fat, 377g of carbohydrates, and at least 103g of protein. At first, I was intimidated, thinking that was sky-high, especially thinking about it in terms of the 2000 calorie/day 'average' diet. But when I began to track what an everyday caloric consumption was for me, I found that it hovered around 2500 calories. Interesting. I also learned that when given the opportunity to eat at least 3 full meals a day, each one would average about 600 calories. So reaching my goal simply became a matter of eating the equivalent of one more full meal with around 400 additional calories in snacks and beverages over the course of the day.

Ready, set, Go!

And that's Part 2. Please stay tuned for Part 3 on Friday where I will finally discuss the adjustments I made to my diet in order to satisfy my caloric needs as well as the tips and tricks that helped me reach my goal. Also included will be photos/foodporn of what I ate and further photos of my body's transformation.

See you Friday!

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If you have any questions or would like further information on the specifics of my workout routines or my diet, please feel free to email me. I would love to hear from you!

Operation "Feed Me" : Gaining Muscle on a Gluten-Free, Vegan Diet - Part 1

2013-03-25T02:01:00.001-05:00

This is Part 1 of a 3 part series on how a super-busy, skinny guy like me was able to gain weight and lean muscle mass on a gluten-free, vegan diet. I'm sharing it in response to several requests. The title is an homage to one of my favorite musicals, "Little Shop of Horrors," and the mantra of the alien plant in its quest to grow bigger.

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At the beginning of each new year, there are almost always changes that we'd like to make. Whether we name them "resolutions" or "goals," they share in common the desire to make a difference. To see something differently, feel it differently, to begin a transformation or to maintain the effects of one - we often find renewed energy and motivation in the first months of the year to make it happen and hold ourselves accountable.

And for me, my goal was to gain 10 pounds by the middle of March.

You may be wondering, "Why?" or "What for?" Well, to give you some backstory, at the end of 2012, I was just coming off a lovely one-two punch of food poisoning and the flu. Needless to say, my body was not holding on to much. And if I'm to be totally honest, I was also amidst a breakup at the time. So even when my appetite returned, stress and emotional turmoil continued to take their toll on me, diminishing my desire to eat. All that combined led to my weight dropping about 6 pounds from 137 to 131 - the lowest it had been in nearly 5 years.

Now I think everyone has at least one part of their body where they believe weight gain or loss can be seen more evidently. Hips, chin, upper arms, ankles, etc. For me, it's my face. If I notice my cheeks starting to sink in, my dimples turning into creases when I smile, or the the bones by my temple becoming Klingon-esque, I know that I need to eat more. I was at that point. And when I, the champion of heart-to-heart prolonged hugs, began to shy away from them because I felt like my sharp shoulders made me "unhuggable," I really knew something had to give. So I saw the new year as an opportunity to not only reclaim the pounds I had lost in both body and heart sickness, but to find a new me, stronger, more present, and less fearful. And, yes, more huggable.

This photo was one of the first that made me aware of my dipping weight.

Fun with fellow blogger and good friend, Krysta Gonzalez, at the laundromat
just days after recovering from the flu. Thank goodness for soft light.

Taken January 1, to help fuel my resolution.

The first thing I did was hire a personal trainer. Fortunately, I work at an exercise facility as a Pilates instructor, so I was already familiar with the trainers and knew exactly with whom I wanted to train. During the initial consultation, I remember him asking me about diet, and I replied matter-of-factly that I was both gluten-free and vegan. Then he gave me that look. Not judgmental, but more of that 'not sure what to make that combo' look. And after discussing it in relation to the goal we had set for me to gain 1 pound of muscle mass per week, I remember having some doubts. Gaining weight had never come easily to me. Would I be able to satisfy my body's elevated need for protein and calories and put on pounds now that I was on a strictly plant-based diet?

Writing this now and looking back, I can laugh. I reached my goal of 10 pounds of additional muscle mass in under 7 weeks, averaging 1.4 pounds per week while keeping my 14% body fat percentage constant. During the third week I gained 2.5 pounds, and as my trainer looked at the scale and looked at the changes happening to my body, I saw him beaming proudly from ear to ear. I remember resetting the scale and weighing myself again just to make sure it wasn't a mistake, I was so surprised. I don't think either of us expected me to progress into this 'new body' as quickly as I did.

Taken February 6 - nearly 8 lbs of muscle gained in 5 weeks.

So how did I do it?

Please stay tuned for Part 2 coming Wednesday, where I will discuss not only how I did it, but the tools that were instrumental in my success. I hate cliffhangers, too, but if I'd published this entire post as one, you probably wouldn't like it much either. [clever smirk with eyebrows raised]

Thank you and see you Wednesday!

Baked Sweet Potato Fries & Curried Coconut Milk Dip

2013-03-18T09:36:00.000-05:00

This recipe was inspired by one of my favorite childhood food memories. I know I have a lot of them, but if you recall, I was definitely not thin in my younger years. And a big reason for this was my love affair with food of the fast and junk varieties, particularly french fries. You wanted me to do my homework or mow the lawn? Promise me french fries and you wouldn't have to ask twice.

Alas, as much as it made my Mother happy to be able to successfully coerce me into obedience and respect for authority, I'm sure she also was concerned with my desire for eating out at McDonald's on a daily basis as well as my growing waistline. So, clever as she was, she would make fries of her own from time to time to satisfy my cravings, but she made them from sweet potato, baked them in the oven, and served them up with an extra special curried mayo dipping sauce. Being a Mama's boy, I would tell her that they were better than regular french fries. But I wasn't just kissing up: I really meant it.

We only got to have them every once and a while, so it truly was special. She would always involve my siblings and I when making them, from tossing the sweet potato fries in oil, sprinkling the seasonings on them before baking, or mixing up the dipping sauce. And that sauce - man, it was so good. If my Mother made the mistake of finishing the sauce before the fries were done, my brother and I would sneakily take turns dipping the uncooked fries in it and scarfing it down.

So in tipping my hat to that memory, it's not a surprise that the sauce in today's recipe is also pretty stellar. It actually happened by mistake - I had originally intended to use tahini, but having some leftover coconut milk, I decided on a whim to use that instead to whip up a quick dipping sauce for a test batch of baked sweet potato fries. And when all the fries were gone, but I was literally drinking the rest of the sauce like a shot, I knew I had a winner. A simple, satisfying, and amazingly flavorful unexpected result.

I love when that happens.

Baked Sweet Potato Fries with a Spicy Curried Coconut Milk Dip
Gluten-Free & Vegan

Active Prep Time: 5 minutes
Inactive Prep Time: 5-10 minutes
Baking Time: 25-30 minutes
Yield: about 4 servings

1 lb. sweet potatoes (about 4 small ones)
scant 1/8 c oil
salt & pepper

1/4 c full-fat coconut milk
1 teaspoon fresh lemon juice
1 teaspoon agave nectar or maple syrup
1/4 teaspoon curry powder
1/4-1/2 teaspoon sriracha
salt, to taste

What you need: large mixing bowl, baking pan, foil, cooling rack, tongs, whisk

1. Preheat oven to 450 degrees.
2. Peel and chop sweet potatoes into fries. I started by slicing them in half lengthwise and then slicing each half into long strips and then slicing those in half. Your aim is for them all to be approximately the same size and thickness so they cook evenly. For the photo, I used three different varieties: Japanese Kotobuki (pale yellow), Garnet (orange), and Okinawan (purple).
3. In a large mixing bowl, toss the uncooked fries with oil until well coated and season with salt and pepper. Choose an oil with a high smoke point that can withstand high heat, like refined coconut, canola, or sunflower.
4. Line the baking pan with foil and place the cooling rack in the center. Arrange the fries on the rack, spacing them about 1" apart, taking care not to crowd them. If all fries will not fit on one baking pan, I would suggest baking each batch in succession rather than simultaneously. Your fries will be crispier for it.
5. Bake for 15 minutes and then remove from oven to flip each fry using tongs. Replace in oven and continue baking for another 10-15 minutes. You may notice some blackening of the tips and edges in addition to 'puffing' of the exterior of each fry as they bake, especially in the final minutes - totally normal and totally tasty.
6. Fresh from the oven, they may not feel very crispy, but as they cool, the exterior of each fry will firm up. Allow to cool for about 10 minutes.
7. Meanwhile, in a bowl combine all dip ingredients except salt. Whisk until well combined, and then salt to taste if you'd like. And if spicier is better for you, feel free to take the amount of sriracha as a suggestion - you may want to also up your sweetener to maintain the balance. And if on the flip side, spicy is not your thing, feel free to omit the sriracha altogether. Closer to room temperature it will have a creamy dressing consistency, but if you refrigerate it, it will be like a whipped mayo.

Beautiful, vibrant ingredients.

Baking my colors...

...so I can then eat them. Note the caramelization - yum.

Sauce whips up in seconds.

I used a variety of sweet potatoes here, because I'm a fan of diversity and options. And while the rich orange garnet and jewel sweet potatoes are usual suspects when it comes to fries, whether fried or baked, I actually found that starchier, less creamy varieties, like the Hannah, Kotobuki, or Okinawan actually turn out better when baked. They tended to crisp and firm up nicely on the outside while remaining tender and moist on the inside, whereas the garnet and jewel sweet potato fries came out more flimsy and tended to overcook more quickly. And while we're on the topic of texture, it's always good to remember that baked fries are not fried fries. So while both are delicious, they will not be equivalent. So do your best to not place that expectation on them. Who knows, you may end up like me and discover that you like baked fries better. [wink]

And there you have my third contribution to 5-Ingredient Mondays hosted by the ever lovely Iris Higgins over at The Daily Dietribe - a weekly event devoted to simple, easy to make, delicious gluten-free foods. If you haven't had an opportunity to visit her beautiful little gluten-free, allergen-friendly, wisdom-keeping spot on the internet, today would be perfect since this post is also featured there as a guest post. [happy dance] It's deeply humbling and truly an honor and a privilege for her to feature me on her blog - I am such a fan of hers. So please do me a favor, and do yourself a favor in the process, and check it out.

You'll become a fan, too.

So good you may find it ridiculous.

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To see my previous 5-Ingredient Mondays, here are the links:

Simple Coconut Chia Pudding

Tinola-Style Cabbage Stew

And in case you missed the links in the text or the links in the sidebar [=>] here's one more link to one of the most cleverly named blogs on the interwebs:

The Daily Dietribe

Wishing you a bountiful and blessed week!

Spirulina Pineapple Juice with Herbs: Happy St. Patrick's Day!

2013-03-17T01:10:00.000-05:00

I've never been much of a drinker. I will partake once in a blue moon for special occasions, like toasting to a couple at a wedding or ceremony. But on the whole, if there's a non-alcoholic option, trust that I will take it. So today, on a day where people are expected to start drinking as part of their morning meal, I decided to come up with a quick and easy drink you can chug with abandon with no regrets. It provides a spring in your step as well as boost for your health with loads of vitamin C, anti-inflammatory enzymes, and antioxidants galore. Other added bonuses? It may decrease your chances of having to call a cab, laying blame on beer goggles, and/or retracing your steps the next morning to find your wallet, your keys, or your car.

And if you do drink, and any of those last things do happen to happen, this is also an excellent hangover remedy. [smile]

Spirulina Pineapple Juice with Ginger, Basil, & Cilantro

Gluten-Free & Vegan

Active Prep Time: less than 5 minutes

Inactive Prep Time: up to 2 hours

Cooking Time: none

Yield: (4) 1/2 c servings

2 c unsweetened pineapple juice

1 teaspoon spirulina powder (or other powdered greens)

2 teaspoons pureed ginger juice

4-6 large basil leaves, torn

3-4 sprigs cilantro, torn

1-2 pinches ground cayenne (optional)

What you need: large mason jar, blender ball

1. Combine all ingredients in mason jar with blender ball. A blender ball is the spherical, whisk-like ball included in many on-the-go protein shake bottles. Shake vigorously for 10-15 seconds. If you don't have one, feel free to whisk by hand (starting with a small portion of the pineapple juice and then adding the rest once the spirulina is incorporated) or use a blender, adding the herbs afterwards. And with the herbs, I recommend tearing the leaves into small pieces and then mashing the pieces between the fingers to break down the leaf structure to help release the flavors.

2. Serve immediately or cover and chill to allow the flavors to further come together. The spirulina will not completely combine, so it will settle as the juice chills. Just shake it up again before serving. And remember that if you do use the cayenne, the spiciness will continue to intensify the longer you allow the mix to chill.

Behold the blender ball.

The aroma of cilantro...yum.

Green goodness.

Serve up, on the rocks, or drink it straight from the jar (just beware the blender ball). I really enjoy the vegetal, grassy flavor of spirulina, and even if you don't or you simply don't know if you do or don't, the full sweetness of the pineapple juice helps it all to go down smoothly. And the herbs add some wonderful backnotes to help round out the flavor, and along with the spice of ginger and cayenne, lend balance to the overall experience. If you want to fancy it up further, try adding some sparkling water, tonic, or ginger ale. And if by fancy you mean alcoholic, I bet champagne, tequila, vodka, rum, or even a light beer might pair nicely.

Wishing all a safe, happy, and memorable St. Patrick's Day.

Marinated Adzuki Bean & Radish Salad

2013-03-11T10:45:00.001-05:00

I love beans. In earlier, pre-gluten-free years, they were fine, but not something I ate on a regular basis. They simply were not on my radar. But today, they're a daily staple, and my pantry is well stocked with a wide variety of dried beans and pulses, ranging from chickpeas, lentils, black-eye peas, black beans, fava beans, mung beans, and today's star: adzuki beans.

A small, burgundy colored bean native to Japan, my first exposure to adzuki beans was in the form of a desserts, whether it was over shaved ice with sweetened evaporated milk or filling various Asian pastries. But now I am well aware of how well these delicious little red suckers work in savory applications. Similar in flavor to a kidney bean, but with a slightly sweet nuttiness, they're great served up hot over quinoa with sauteed greens, mixed into a steaming miso or chilled naengmyun broth, or cold in refreshing salads, like they one I will be showing you today.

A wonderful appetizer or snack to get you through, it hits the spot for me every time. Hopefully it will do the same for you and those with whom you share it.

Marinated Adzuki Bean & Radish Salad with Scallions
Gluten-Free & Vegan

Active Prep Time: 5 minutes
Inactive Prep Time: at least 2 hours
Cooking Time: none
Yield: approx. (5) 2/3 cup servings

2 c cooked adzuki beans
1/2 c radish, peeled and cut into matchsticks
1/2 c sliced onion
1 tablespoon chopped scallions

2 tablespoons raw coconut vinegar
1 tablespoon fresh orange juice
pinch salt
1 teaspoon minced garlic
1 teaspoon minced ginger
2 teaspoons agave
1/8 teaspoon ground turmeric

3 tablespoons oil

sesame seeds and toasted sesame oil, to garnish

1. Combine adzuki beans, radish, onion, and scallions in a container that can be covered. I used watermelon radish for this recipe because they're my favorite and in season right now, but feel free to substitute daikon, breakfast radishes, or whatever radish suits you.
2. In a deep bowl, combine dressing ingredients from vinegar to agave. Whisk to combine.
3. While whisking, slowly drizzle in the oil. Choose a light tasting oil, whether it be sunflower, canola, or safflower. The end product need not be completely emulsified, but you want it to be combined.
4. Pour dressing over beans, radish, onion, and scallions and toss to combine. Cover and chill in the refrigerator. Periodically, about once every 30 minutes or so, give the salad a toss to ensure equitable access to the marinade. 2 hours is a minimum - I often will let this chill overnight if time permits.
5. Before serving, give it another toss, and garnish with a sprinkling of sesame seeds and a touch of toasted sesame oil.

After a night of soaking - cooked, drained, and ready for making salad.

This delicious dressing could be used for just about anything.

Let the magic of marination commence.

While this is great on its own with its combination of different textures and sweet savory tang, you can also try serving it tossed with cooked millet or quinoa, over a bed of crisp baby greens, or topped with a dollop of hummus or avocado. Oh yeah. And beyond being quite tasty, adzuki beans are also a wonderful source of fiber and protein, aiding in digestion and the maintenance of healthy blood sugar levels. And as an added bonus, they are an excellent source of trace minerals, among them molybdenum, which plays an essential role in healthy liver function. Can't wait for that to come up on Final Jeopardy, right?

I hope you don't mind that I've been posting more non-dessert recipes as of late. As I've said in the past, desserts, while delicious, are not essential to every meal for me. My sweet tooth is relatively easy to satisfy. And while I do enjoy contributing to the hearty demand for good gluten-free, vegan dessert recipes, I also enjoy sharing recipes for the food that makes up my every day. The food that sustains me and keep me healthy and happy. Because, ultimately, when it's all been said and done, that's the opportunity to be found in eating - to feed the body and fuel it towards our pursuit of happiness and wholeness.

Seize it.

Tinola-Style Cabbage Stew

2013-03-04T01:39:00.003-06:00

When it comes to comfort food, I always bring it back to the Filipino foods my grandmothers and parents used to make for us as a child. Filipino cuisine is replete with soups and stews, so it's no wonder that most of my favorite foods fall into that category. Ginataang kalabasa, lugaw, ginisang munggo, kare kare - my heart warms and my mouth waters just thinking of them. Beyond how delicious they are, it's also that sense of family and communion that I feel goes hand in hand with Filipino cooking. That sense of nourishing more than just the body, but the spirit as well.

So visiting the Philippines a few months ago, I made sure to take advantage of the opportunity to revisit and enjoy many of these familiar foods. And while the food was often made for us, either in a restaurant or in someone's home, on rare occasion I was able to jump into the kitchen myself and lend a hand.

Tinola in the large white dish, my grandmother telling a story.

I remember one such occasion the day my Uncle Ruben and his wife flew in from Hawaii for my grandmother's 104th birthday. After the long flight and driving through bumper-to-bumper Manila traffic, they were exhausted, so I asked if I could make dinner that evening. I wanted to do something special for not only Uncle Ruben, but also for my Auntie Becky, with whom we were staying, as well as my parents, sister, and my grandmother. I wanted to take care of them all and let them relax. And when it comes to rest, relaxation, and rejuvenation, one of the first dishes that comes to my mind is tinola.

A clear, broth-based dish rooted in ginger and onion, it's remarkably grounding and energizing at the same time. There's a sense of health and wellbeing as you drink in the soup, or sabaw, as we would call it, and if you're feeling lethargic or under the weather, the warm aroma and zing of the ginger can help you rise above. And it's so simple. I knew that, but when confirming all that goes into it before stepping into the kitchen, I was still surprised by how minimal it is. Traditionally, it would involve chicken, chayote squash, and spinach, but as you can see, that needn't be the case.

This un-chicken soup will still nourish the soul.

Tinolang Repolyo (Cabbage, Potato, & Carrots in a Ginger Broth)

Gluten-Free & Vegan

Active Prep Time: 5 minutes

Inactive Prep Time: none

Cooking Time: 20-30 minutes

Yield: about 6 cups

1 tablespoon oil for sautéing
1/2 large onion, thinly sliced
1 large knob of ginger, peeled and sliced
1 large carrot, peeled and chopped
2 medium potatoes, large dice
2 c sliced green cabbage
4-5 c warm vegetable stock or water
salt to taste

1. Heat the oil over medium-high heat in a large saucepan or pot. Add onion and sauté until translucent and beginning to soften.
2. Add ginger and sauté for another minute until aromatic. If you're a ginger lover like me, feel free to add more or simply slice into smaller pieces. Add carrot and potato and sauté for another 1-2 minutes.
3. Finally, add cabbage and sauté until just beginning to soften. As always, when I sauté I prefer to lightly salt with each additional ingredient, layering in the seasoning. You can choose to do this as well, or just season all at once at the end.
4. Add warm stock or water to cover ingredients and raise temperature to bring to a boil. Once it has reached a boil, reduce heat, cover, and allow to actively simmer for about 20 minutes, or until the potato and carrot are fork tender.
5. Season to taste. It can be served immediately or it can be served within the next couple days. It'll just keep getting better.

There are a lot of similarities with the Spanish/Mexican caldo, which is no wonder, given both of their presences in the Philippines. When I first had caldo, I immediately thought of my grandmother and my family. Of home. I'm sure that someone who grew up with caldo and having tinola for the first time would probably have the same reaction. Comfort foods to the core that can inspire nostalgia to the max. And in this variation, the sweetness of the cabbage and carrot, the heartiness of the potato, and the palate-pleasing piquant flavor of ginger go so well together.

Avocado making a beautiful addition.

And as much of the country is still shoveling snow and sleet, this simple and easy to prepare soup will do wonders to take the chill off. And as we're still in thick of cold and flu season, regardless of climate, this recipe may very well in come in handy, both to pamper someone you know, or pamper yourself, back to wellness. The healing powers of ginger and love will never cease to amaze.

And there you have my 2nd contribution to 5-ingredient Mondays, hosted by the always lovely Iris Higgins of The Daily Dietribe. What I love about this blogging event is how it encourages me to present recipes that come naturally to me - simple, straightforward, and ingredient-focused. Please do yourself a favor and visit her beautiful blog for more easy, delicious, gluten-free recipes.

Wishing you and yours Love and Light in abundance.

Simple Coconut Chia Pudding

2013-02-18T00:38:00.000-06:00

Today I am participating in 5-Ingredient Monday, a weekly blogging event devoted to simple gluten-free recipes with a minimum of ingredients. Hosted by the lovely Iris Higgins, the mastermind behind The Daily Dietribe and co-author of The Essential Gluten-Free Baking Guide, she relates how the beginning of the week can be rough, and the last thing most of us want is to have to prepare an elaborate or time-consuming meal at the end of the day. So why not come up with recipes that can be whipped up relatively quickly, that won't border on reading an encyclopedia when going through the ingredients, and that taste delicious?

Why not, indeed.

Today's offering was inspired by a recent post on Facebook where a friend was searching for a chia pudding recipe and was convinced that I may have been the one who had shown it to her. Now, full disclosure, I am not the biggest fan of chia pudding. Most times I have had it, it has left me wondering if eating frog eggs would feel any different in my mouth. And even when I shared a sweet potato chia pudding recipe here around Thanksgiving last year, I incorporated ground flax and psyllium husks to make the texture more palatable. So when my friend tagged me in this post, I had a little chuckle. [The silent kind where your shoulders bounce up and down but no sound comes out. You know the one]

1st try topped with ground black sesame, sultanas, and blueberries.

But when she found the recipe and shared it in a proceeding comment, I became intrigued. Most recipes had not been this pared down (4 ingredients total), and the way she described it as having a "nice tapioca pudding consistency" actually sounded appealing. So I gave it a shot...and was quite impressed. This chia pudding tasted much better than previous ones I had experienced. Satisfying, faintly sweet, and not slimy and reminiscent of pre-tadpoles or caviar. Actually, quite 'tapioca-like.' And the coolest thing was how versatile it was, a blank canvas for any variety of tasty toppings or mix-ins. And when I tried it again, with a few adjustments including a touch of coconut, I knew I had to share it with you.

From chia-pudding doubter, I had officially converted into a fan riding the chia-pudding double-decker bus. And hopefully after trying today's super simple recipe, you'll be able to jump on board as well. [cue revving of engine and bus door swinging open...]

Coconut Chia Pudding

Gluten-Free & Vegan

Active Prep Time: less than 5 minutes

Inactive Prep Time: at least 1 hour

Cooking Time: none

Yield: approx. 1 1/4 cups

1 c + 1 tablespoon So Delicious coconut milk beverage

1/3 c raw chia seeds

1 teaspoon finely shredded dried coconut

1 tablespoon agave nectar or maple syrup

1 pinch salt

1. In a medium-sized jar, combine all ingredients. Secure lid and shake vigorously for about a minute. You should reach a point where the chia seeds are no longer clumped together and appear to be suspended throughout the mixture. I used a 'blender-ball' from one of my protein shake blender bottles and it seemed to help.

2. Place jar in refrigerator and chill for at least one hour, although I will say that letting it go longer is not a bad thing. To prep in advance, make it in the evening and allow to chill overnight or make it in the morning and allow to chill over the course of the day. So cool to have pudding ready and waiting for you when you want it.

3. To serve, garnish with fresh or dried fruit, nuts or seeds, and a drizzle of additional sweetness if your tastebuds request it.

I find using white chia seeds to be more aesthetically appealing.

Blender ball enjoying a pudding bath.

Yummy flecks of coconut throughout, adding textural interest.

And that's it. So simple, right? And if you take away the dried coconut, even simpler and more malleable to whatever you want to make of it. But if you want to gussy it up, the sky's the limit. Now that you have the basic proportions for a successful chia pudding, you can add vanilla beans, mix in fruit preserves, make it chocolatey with cocoa powder, add chai spices and garnish with chunks of dried ginger, mix in pureed bananas at the start, layer it in a cake parfait or top it with crumbled gluten-free cookies - so many ways to make it uniquely delicious. And another great thing is how nutrient-rich this dessert is. Packed with omega-fatty acids, a good source of protein, and fiber-filled, it satisfies on so many levels. I wouldn't hesitate to call this a 'healthy' dessert. I actually might flaunt it as such.

And there you have my contribution to today's 5-Ingredient Monday. Quick, simple, and delicious. And to think that it all started with a case of mistaken identity and a silent chuckle.

[Flaunt]

Big Thanks again to Iris for starting this event and cordially inviting me to participate. Kindly visit her beautiful blog, not only for more awesome 5-Ingredient Monday recipes, but for a mother lode of allergen-friendly, body-honoring deliciousness.

Gluten Free, Vegan Blueberry Pine Nut Oatmeal Cookies

2013-02-09T12:11:00.001-06:00

Sometimes I get stuck in that "bigger, better, never-look-back" kind of rut in terms of recipe development. You know what I mean? An expectation that once I've figured out how to cook or bake something that I'd never go back to those recipes because it would be 'redundant' or a 'cop out.' It's sort of like that 'Top Chef' mentality where you need to keep pulling rabbits out of a hat or doubloons from behind someone's ear. And it can be a source of stress for me because I don't always have time to spend in the test kitchen, particularly in recent weeks, and it makes me feel like I'm not only coming up short in terms of the standards I set for myself, but I feel like I'm coming up short in the eyes of my readers. [deep breath]

However, that being said, today I present a recipe to you that is inspired by a recipe I came up with over a year ago. Because at the end of the day, a good cookie is a good cookie. And this, my friends, is a great cookie.

I'm currently in the middle of my annual pantry and refrigerator cleanse, and taking inventory and reorganizing my baking flour arsenal, I realized that I had quite a surplus of gluten-free rolled oats. So while toying with the inspiration for a blueberry and pistachio cookie and flipping through my personal recipe notebook, I came upon the salted oatmeal cherry cookies that I made for my first contribution to the Gluten Free Ratio Rally. I had actually been wanting to revisit this recipe, because while it was quite popular with my friends and struck a wonderful balance between savory and sweet, it was also quite hearty and not what I would refer to as 'decadent.' More of a breakfast cookie.

Trial #1 - pistachio/almond flour cookie with blueberries.

During my first go at the blueberry pistachio cookies, I found that the pistachios, while delicious in theory and concept, didn't really shine when paired with the blueberries. So looking at what else I had a good amount of, I subbed out pine nuts and switched gears from a nut flour-based cookie recipe to a riff on my oatmeal cookie recipe.

[cue sun bursting from behind the clouds in dramatic Imax time lapsed 3-D fashion]

I wanted to see if I could get a moister, chewier cookie than the previous oatmeal cookie recipe, so I decreased the amount of whole rolled oats and upped the amount of ground oats and sugar and added flax. I also modified the process of making the dough and added time for the dough to chill and hydrate. And while still quite rustic in appearance (code for 'not the most photogenic'), the change in texture and sweetness was extremely satisfying, from both the standpoint of a taster and a baker. And when I presented them to my friends and coworkers, they were literally bargaining with each other when it came down to the final ones in a slightly crazed fashion.

I took that as a good sign.

Blueberry & Pine Nut Oatmeal Cookies

Gluten-Free & Vegan

Active Prep Time: 5-10 minutes

Inactive Prep Time: up to 8 hours

Baking Time: 12-15 minutes

Yield: about 2 dozen 3/4 tablespoon-sized cookies

1/4 c (1 oz) teff flour

scant 2/3 c (2 1/2 oz) certified gluten free ground oats

1/3 c (1 3/4 oz) quinoa flour

scant 2/3 c (3 oz) coconut crystals

1/2 teaspoon ground cinnamon

1/4 teaspoon ground nutmeg

1/2 teaspoon salt

1/2 teaspoon baking soda

1/3 c (2 1/2 fl. oz) unsweetened applesauce

6 tablespoons (3 fl. oz) non-GMO canola oil
1 teaspoon ground flax seed

scant 2/3 c (2 1/2 oz) certified gluten-free rolled oats

1/3 c rehydrated blueberries

scant 1/4 c raw pine nuts

1. Make your ground oats by grinding them in a food processor. I prefer to to take this route, aiming for a partially coarse but mostly fine grind, and that is what I used for this recipe. But if if you have gluten free oat flour already on hand, feel free to sub it in. The results should not be drastically different.

2. Combine remaining dry ingredients in food processor and pulse until well combined.

3. In a separate bowl, whisk together applesauce, oil, and ground flax until loosely combined. While running the food processor, gradually pour the wet mixture into the dry mixture until a sticky dough has come together. From here, transfer the dough into a large mixing bowl.

4. Incorporate whole rolled oats, blueberries, and pine nuts, and fold into dough. I know that both pine nuts and blueberries, especially organic, which I used here, are not the most affordable. In variations, I subbed black currants for some of the blueberries and subbed chopped walnuts for some of the pine nuts and the result was still quite delicious.

5. Cover dough and allow to chill for at least 4 hours and up to 8. I experimented with freezing the dough directly and then thawing before baking. The result was perhaps a little chewier and moister - so if you'd like to prep a large amount of the dough and make it as needed/wanted, this route works very well. Personally, I actually preferred it.

6. Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Line a baking sheet with parchment paper and make roughly 3/4 tablespoon-sized balls of the dough, spaced 2 inches apart, and flatten slightly.

7. Bake for 12-15 minutes, or until dry in appearance and the aroma of cinnamon and nutmeg is filling the kitchen. Allow to cool on baking sheet for 5 minutes and then transfer to a cooling rack to finish cooling completely. No need to worry that the cookies are still slightly soft to the touch at this point- they will firm up as they cool.

Oats ground and ready for the remaining dry ingredients.

I love the fact that I don't have to worry about eating vegan dough.

Freezing some for a later occasion.

Just slightly flattened like small, squat cylinders.

Delectable.

I realize that most blogs are featuring heart-shaped cookies and cakes and Valentine's inspired food and drink creations. And while that was definitely on my mind for the last few weeks, resulting in pages of scribbled ideas and recipe concepts, I ultimately brought it back to this: all my food is about love. Loving one's self, loving others, and through grounding in self-love, allowing others to love you as much if not more.

And these cookies were no exception. They were a way for me to show compassion for myself, giving myself a break to stop pushing and pressuring myself, regaining confidence in my abilities as a baker. And when I offered them to my friends, it was a gesture of loving-kindness that inspired smiles, laughter, and happiness as they ate them, a sight and experience that made me proud. And regardless of this time of year, when the town is literally painted red with cut-outs of hearts, winged Cupids, and firetruck red icing, that exchange of positive emotion is something I strive for.

Every day, every moment, and every opportunity.

#whatveganseat

2013-02-03T11:11:00.000-06:00

Plant-powered Love.

The title of this post is one of my favorite hashtags that I have come to use generously in recent months on Instagram. Why just recently? Well, it wasn't until the middle of October that I officially adopted a vegan diet. [sound of front door shutting] I realize that there are some who may have been under the impression that I've been vegan for much longer, given that the recipes I share here are predominantly vegan. But it wasn't until the day I returned from the Philippines, October 17th, 2012, to be exact, that I made the decision to begin eating completely vegan.

Allow me to briefly digress...

Since eliminating gluten and dairy from my diet, mindfulness and moderation have always been the focus when it comes to what I eat and drink. If I feel like my body is asking for something, whether it be meat, dark leafy greens, tart stone fruit, simple carbs, or something sweet, I simply listen. Even if it's not something I would normally consume, I now understand that in order to keep the miracle of the body in working order, it needs a lot of things - many of which I would never guess. And while I've eaten mostly vegan for about the past 3 1/2 years, there have definitely been times when I have craved animal protein. And as a very physically active person with a dense schedule, it's always made sense and it felt "right," so I gave my body what it was requesting. On top of that, it also made things easier when eating out at a restaurant or as a guest in some one's home. Gluten-free and vegan is still scarce relative to gluten-free and dairy-free, so especially when it came to those instances, maintaining a "veganish" diet was convenient.

Which brings me back to the Philippines.

Before going, I knew it would be difficult to eat meat only occasionally. Filipinos love their meat, and when you receive a guest, you feed them royally. And while that would certainly include vegetables and steamed white rice (lots of it), it would almost always involve a pig, a goat, or fish as well. But even knowing this, I wasn't prepared for the amount of meat I was going to be eating. I alluded to it in a post that I published after getting back, but I would be willing to bet that nearly every meal for the whole 3 weeks, save the ones my sister and I prepared, involved some form of animal. Our relatives were all made aware that I could not eat gluten and dairy, but the memo regarding my vegan tendencies got lost somewhere in the mix.

Family reunion at my father's ancestral home in Villasis.

Meal at my uncle's restaurant. Rice was the only vegan dish.

In the dirty kitchen, cooking a vegan feast for the family. A rare treat.

All for her: My grandmother surrounded by love on her 104th birthday.

You're probably wondering, "Did I get sick from it?"

And the simple answer is,"No." Not even a little. Since I was young, it was instilled in me that eating serves two main functions: to nourish the body and to bring the family closer together. And this being my first time back in 25 years, there was particular emphasis on the latter. It was important for me to connect with my family and relatives, and by showing respect and honoring them through enjoying the food they were offering me, I was able to make that happen. It wasn't so much what we were eating, but the fact that we were eating together. That was what my body, and my soul, needed.

But upon leaving my family and my relatives and returning to Texas, the situations that made me carnivorous for 3 weeks were no longer present. So I set an intention to eat vegan for 1 or 2 weeks, to allow my body to cleanse and to reset. Usually that was how long it would be until I would have a craving for meat, so it was nowhere out of the ordinary. I was getting back to me.

But within that first week, I noticed something was very different. My roommate was celebrating his birthday and had made a ton of chicken and white bean chili. Literally, a ton. Surprisingly, the guests were more interested in cake, wine, and margaritas, so the battalion of slow cookers on the counters were left untouched and unstirred. Taking pity, I ladled out a bowl and put a spoonful in my mouth. But as I started to chew, I noticed that chewing was becoming difficult - not because it was tough, but because I didn't want to keep chewing. Frankly, the taste of the chicken was really confusing me. Not that it was making me lose my appetite, it was more that it was doing nothing to stimulate it. In a nutshell, my body didn't want it. So, listening for my roommate's laughter to make sure he was in the other room, I gracefully excused the food from my mouth and set the bowl down, pretending that it was someone else's, and walked away.

Photo by ©Steve Williams

And 3 months later, I still don't feel the need to eat meat. I'm still mildly amazed when the smell and sight of meat does nothing at all - no mouth watering, no stomach grumbling, no nothing. There had been times before when I had wanted to take the plunge and go vegan, but I had always encountered resistance and/or fear from my body. But right now, my body is really happy being vegan. Truth be told, it may be the happiest it's ever been, inside and out. My skin is glowing, my hair is softer and shinier, I feel more energetic and balanced, and I actually feel stronger and more present. [Sorry, I know that really sounded like a commercial.] But alas, it's true. I feel connected with myself and the world around me in a way I've never experienced before. And beyond mindfulness, I'm also much more aware of the responsibility, the ethical implications, and compassion, that goes into feeding ourselves.

So while historically it has always been a point of hesitation when people would ask if I was vegan, because I didn't want to be untruthful but I also didn't want to let people down, I can now say that diet-wise, I am a vegan. I don't eat animals - that is now 100% true. And hashtags like, "#whatveganseat" don't have to make me feel like an impostor anymore. Because right now, that's what I am: vegan, gluten-free, and proud of how it's making my body feel. [sound of closet door opening]

So until my body decides otherwise, or I go back to the Philippines, whichever comes first, I look forward to this new chapter in my journey of self-actualization and finding my higher truths. And I look forward to sharing those discoveries with you. Honoring the body, honoring the Earth, and honoring the fact that change is the one constant we can always count upon.

And finding gratitude in that fact.

Indian Curried Lentil & Mung Bean Soup

2013-01-16T00:51:00.000-06:00

It's been cold, windy, and/or raining for the better part of the last two weeks here in Austin. It's that very brief time of year where we get to drag out our scarves, faux fur lined parkas and fingerless gloves, fantasize that a few days of constant drizzle will correct our multiple year-long drought, and slam on our anti-lock brakes one too many times.

In other words, "Winter."

[strong emphasis on the Michigan native finger quotes]

And while it does mean all those things listed above and more, for me, it's also a time for soup. Lots of soup, particularly of the bean and lentil variety. Like some people need a glass of warm milk before bed, I need to fill a mason jar with dried beans and water to soak overnight. Beyond how delicious soup can be, nutrient-dense and able to warm the body from the inside out, there's also the ease of it. When I use to make soups with my grandmother, it was always so leisurely and low-key. And I also remember laughing a lot. So what if we didn't have all the ingredients or so what if we fudge around with the recipe: You can always make it work, making it deliciously your own. And the fact that it only gets better as the days pass, richer, deeper and more cohesive in flavor? Awesome, particularly for you busybodies like me who don't even sit down to eat a meal.

The Austin skyline veiled in fog.

Two things you don't see very often here: Leafless trees and rain puddles.

So today, as the temperature hovers between the uppers 30s and low 40s, I am sharing my riff on Indian lentil soup, aka daal, one of my favorite comfort foods. It's actually in response to requests stemming from a picture I posted the other day on both Facebook and Instagram. It's funny, because most of the time I'm stressing about baking trials and testing cookie and muffin recipes for the blog, thinking that that's what people want to read about. So when they ask for soup, it's a surprise, a relief, and a reminder that what's easy for me may not be as easy for others. So if you were one of those bunch, or if you just want to learn how to make a fantastic soup that'll hit the spot amidst the Winter weather (whatever that may be for you), get your mason jars and your beans ready.

Soup's on.

Indian-Spiced Curried Lentil & Mung Bean Soup

Gluten-Free & Vegan

Active Prep Time: 5 minutes

Inactive Prep Time: at least 8 hours

Cooking Time: 45-60 minutes

Yield: about 12 cups

1 c dried brown lentils

1 c dried mung beans

6-8 c filtered water

2 teaspoons apple cider vinegar

1 large onion, diced

2-3 cloves garlic, roughly chopped

1 tablespoon fresh ginger, roughly chopped

2 large carrots, sliced

2 medium potatoes, large dice

3-4 tablespoons oil

1/2 teaspoon cumin seeds

1 1/2 teaspoons Indian curry powder

1/2 teaspoon garam masala

2-3 teaspoons salt

6-8 c filtered water or vegetable stock

fresh lemon slices & olive oil, to garnish

1. Rinse lentils and mung beans, sorting for stones or debris, and then cover them with water in a large mason jar or glass container. Add apple cider vinegar and cover to soak at least 8 hours. It's often recommended that you don't soak such small beans/pulses like lentils and mung beans, but in terms of maximizing nutritional value and digestibility, I find it's an extra step that is definitely worth taking.

2. After beans are finished soaking and increased in size by up to five times (wow!), drain and rinse and set aside.

3. Heat oil in a large pot over medium heat. Begin by gently frying the spices, beginning with the cumin seeds for about 1 minutes, then add curry powder and garam masala and fry for an additional 1-2 minutes, being careful not to burn the spices. This step, also known as blooming the spices, helps punch up the flavor and aroma of the spices, infusing their flavor into the oil, and also helps you to avoid that gritty texture that can occur when using dried, powdered spices.

4. Increase heat to medium-high and saute onions in the spice-infused oil for 1-2 minutes, or until they just begin to soften. Add garlic and ginger and saute for an additional 1-2 minutes, or until pungent in aroma. Add carrots and potatoes and saute for about 1 minute, or just to combine with the sauteed onions, garlic, and ginger and coat with the spice-infused oil.

5. Add soaked lentils and mung beans, salt, and cover with water. You want there to be about 2-3 inches of liquid covering the sauteed vegetables and beans. And if you're worried about getting it "right," just err on the side of less - if you need or want more liquid, you can always add it later.

6. Increase heat to bring to a boil, skimming any scum that collects on the surface, and then immediately reduce to medium-low heat and cover. Allow to actively simmer for about 45 minutes, stirring every once and a while.

7. As mentioned previously, this soup, as most soups would be, is really at its best in the next two days after you make it as the flavors come together. So avoid the temptation to season to perfection on the day you make it - what tastes under seasoned on day one may be just right on day two.

8. Before serving, garnish with fresh lemon and a drizzle of olive oil.

Soaked and fit to burst out of the jar.

Ready to prep.

Warm Happiness in a bowl.

I realize that I haven't been posting as regularly as I have in the past. And trust me, if I could make more time in my schedule to write, cook, and bake, I would do it in a fraction of a heartbeat. But right now, with my plate having disappeared underneath all my current commitments, I'm truly coming to understand that doing my best, day in day out, regardless of what that 'best' is, will be enough. If I don't post on the same day of every week at the same time, that will be okay. If I don't have the energy and/or time to edit photos or proofread a post, then it can wait until the next day. And if no one reads my blog anymore, the world will keep turning.

What we choose to do with our lives is just like making soup. It's about relaxing, creating something that will inspire genuine smiles, gratitude for the gift of living, and laughter, in regular doses with gusto. And with all those ingredients, mixed with love, faith, patience, and compassion, trust that it will only get better and more satisfying with time.

Sanity Challenge Update: The Journey Continues...

2013-01-06T10:27:00.002-06:00

I know it was technically the "December Sanity Challenge," but when changes are worth making, I think they're worth making beyond one month. The final stretch of the year can be grueling for all of us, what with Holiday parties, shopping malls more akin to crowded supermarket fish tanks than public spaces, snow and sleet on the rise and sunlight becoming less and less, and the ever-looming threat of sickness as stress and climate collaborate to overthrow our immune systems. Yup, December.

Last month, I set three goals for myself to help me stay Happy, Healthy, and living Life to the fullest through the month:

Journaling daily, to not only cleanse the mind, but the spirit.
Sharing something "private," something I wouldn't normally speak into existence with anyone regardless of familiarity, at least twice daily.
Tell people that I love them at every opportunity.

I am proud that I didn't falter from those goals through the month, even when was sick in bed and alone on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. And their impact, sometime subtle and sometimes blaring like a splash of cold water to the face, was undeniable. They helped me to find perspective and to stop resisting the present moment and to give in to its embrace. And to discover that regardless of what goes on outside of me, at work, in relationships, in the country, and in the world, I can feel secure in the Happiness and the Health within me and the light that will shine: that was a breakthrough. Something I've always 'sort of' known, but something that became crystal clear to me in following through with these practices. Something beautifully real.

What really opened my eyes was how these changed affected my friends, my family, and strangers alike. How that light could brighten other people's lives, like a flame being passed from one torch to the other. Friends would remark how they've noticed a difference in me, that I must be going through something major, and without asking what that something major was, they would then thank me. And whether it was the 'wise' status posts and tweets, late night conversations while listening to country music and Brit pop over herbal tea, or my willingness to say, "I love you," without expecting anything in return, it all seemed to boil down to one thing:

Letting go.

And what this challenge truly helped me to see was how little letting go I was actually doing. I had intended for these goals to help me connect more with the world and the people around me, and they did. But in hindsight, I realize that these goals were really about creating a deeper and more meaningful connection with myself, and through that, allowing the world and others to connect with me and meet me halfway. It makes me think of the classic, dreaded break-up line: "It's not about you, it's about me." When we're on the receiving end of it, it's hardly ever easy to believe and can lead us to feel anything but closure. But when I think about it with this subtext: "All of me is not available, not even to myself - I'm sorry." then I can believe it. Because this past month, with all the stress, drama, and second-guessing I placed squarely on my shoulders, was really about making peace within me. Making myself more available to me, first and foremost, before attempting to let others in. And ultimately finding a self-love that I've been running scared from for most of my life. Knowing that I am, in fact, lovable, and finally believing it. Letting go of fear, self-judgment, and insecurity to open my arms to possibility, to clarity, and to trust. And now not only understanding the gifts I have to offer, but finally understanding how to give them.

We all have things in life that challenge us, that make us doubt ourselves, feel less worthy, or scared. But it's ultimately about finding the opportunity to grow, to continue on our path, and to know that each moment is exactly that: a moment. Fleeting, ephemeral, gone in the blink of an eye. And regardless of whether that moment is joyful, heart-wrenching, or 'something major,' there will be many more moments to live through and within. So all we can do is let go - doing our best to avoid fixating on the happy ones, bringing them so close that we lose focus, and burying the painful ones away with distractions and pretense. Allow them to enter our lives, acknowledge them, and then let them pass away without fear, knowing that countless moments and opportunities await us on our journey. And it is a journey rich in beauty, passion, and spirit that all of us share, regardless of origin or destination.

Keep your eyes and your heart open to savor it.

*******

Thank you again to Cheryl Harris of Gluten Free Goodness for making the December Sanity Challenge a reality. My 2013 is already so much better for it.

Gluten-Free, Vegan Spicy Molasses Fig Cookies

2012-12-29T16:51:00.000-06:00

Molasses cookies are only second to peanut butter cookies when it comes to baiting my shy and elusive sweet tooth. I love the richness of molasses, with its earthy, smoky, understated, yet robust, sweetness. And when it comes to the Holidays and the cooler weather that often comes with it, there's something about the season that makes molasses cookies particularly enjoyable in that close your eyes and slowly chew kind of way.

I was originally inspired by Shauna, of gluten-free girl, and her contribution to last November's Gluten Free Ratio Rally. Her molasses cookies were breathtaking, and as I've found that the best way for me to learn when it comes to baking is to do, I promptly made the cookies with wonderful results. And since then, I've followed through on that inspiration and each time I make them, I make them just a little differently, seeing if I can find new ways to make them even more satisfying and interesting to the palate.

And today's combination is exactly that. The spicy warmth of chipotle and turmeric, the maltiness of carob and teff, and the quirky crunch of fig - all things that make me smile. And despite what sounds like a complicated cookie, it's remarkably easy to enjoy. And after you taste your first one, what you may find difficult is self-control.

Spicy Molasses Fig Cookies
Gluten-Free, Vegan, & Grain-Free

Active Prep Time: 10 minutes
Inactive Prep Time: at least 6 hours
Baking Time: 15-20 minutes
Yield: 3 dozen cookies

1/2 c (2 1/4 oz) teff flour
2/3 c (2 1/4 oz) quinoa flour
1/3 c (1 1/3 oz) garbanzo flour
scant 1/2 c (2 oz) arrowroot starch

1 teaspoon whole psyllium husks
1 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon cinnamon
1/2 teaspoon ground turmeric
1/2 teaspoon nutmeg
1/4 teaspoon clove
1/4 teaspoon ground chipotle (optional)

1/2 c (2 1/2 oz) coconut sugar
1/4 c (2 3/4 oz) blackstrap molasses
1/4 c (2/3 oz) ground toasted carob
1 teaspoon ground flax seed
1/2 c (2 2/3 oz) oil
1/4 c (2 2/3 oz) applesauce
1/4 c (2 oz) pureed black mission figs
2 tablespoons soaking liquid (from figs)

sugar, to garnish

1. To begin, destem about half a cup of dried black mission figs and immerse them in warm water. For an added dimension, you can experiment with soaking them in various liquids, from black tea to port wine to orange juice. Allow them to soak for about 10 minutes, drain, and then puree in a food processor. Set aside two tablespoons of the soaking liquid.

2. Sift all flours, starches, and spices together in a medium sized mixing bowl.

3. In a separate bowl, combine all wet ingredients, including coconut sugar, ground flax, and toasted carob until well mixed. If carob is not handy, or perhaps an ingredient you don't prefer to use, you can sub in cocoa powder or simply omit it altogether.

4. Gradually fold dry ingredients into wet ingredients to form a moist, sticky dough. Cover and chill overnight, or at least 6 hours (but no more than 12).

5. When ready to bake, remove dough from refrigerator and preheat oven to 350 degrees.

6. Make tablespoon-sized balls of the dough, spaced about 2" apart, and flatten slightly to about 1/2" in height. Garnish with sugar and lightly tap into the dough.

7. Bake for 15-20 minutes, or until they've spread slightly and the surface has cracked (in a pretty way) and appears dry to the touch. The aroma of the spices should also be filling your kitchen.

8. Remove from oven and allow to cool on baking sheet for 5-10 minutes before transferring to a cooling rack. But you don't have to let them get too cool - I find they're best enjoyed warm. They keep for 2-3 days in an airtight container - just make sure they've cooled completely before stowing them away.

Soaking in an herbal infusion.

Fig paste is made.

Ready to chill.

Only slightly flattened.

The cracks give them character.

Another great thing about these cookies is the texture: part cookie and part brownie. If you flatten them more, they taste like a tender, cakey cookie. But if you leave them rounder, or don't flatten them at all, the inside stays moist and almost fudgey, like a brownie or a cake ball. Two desserts in one: score.

Soft, mmm-inspiring, cookie magic.

And refrigerating the dough for at least 6 hours, while it may seem like a hassle to some, is absolutely necessary. I experimented with one batch with different chilling times, from none to 2 hours to 4 hours, and so on. Anything below 6 hours came out with varying degrees of unpleasant crumbliness and that off-putting, dry texture often attributed to gluten-free and/or vegan baked goods. And any longer than 10 or 12 hours, and the texture tended towards mealy. And trust me, the last thing I want to share with you is dry, crumbly, off-putting, or mealy gluten-free and/or vegan baked goods. [wink]

I hope you enjoy these warmingly spicy fig newton/molasses lovechild cookies. I know I certainly do, especially with a warm pot of tea, a tall glass of almond milk, or crumbled over a dish of coconut ice cream. And as we wrap up 2012 and head into 2013, I just want to take this opportunity to say "Thank You." For your support and the motivation you offer me to keep writing and continue sharing the journeys and discoveries of this "canary." It means more than I can say.

And that's saying a lot.

Happiness and the Holidays

2012-12-25T11:23:00.000-06:00

Light amidst the darkness.

It's Christmas Day, and instead of being out with friends, singing carols and drinking mulled cider or non-dairy nog, I'm bundled up at home after a day of sweating, lightheadedness, and muscle cramps. No, I'm not referring to Bikram yoga, but rather the unpleasant aftermath of ingesting gluten inadvertently.

Not fun.

But alas, if anything, it brings into perspective what the Holidays are all about, at least for me. It's not about the presents, fancy wrapping paper or tinsel wrapped trees, or who throws the best party. It's about valuing each other, and ourselves, for exactly who we are. Realizing that we are worthy of love, that we are each good enough, regardless of where we are on our respective journeys. And celebrating the faith that can carry us through our most trying times.

So though I won't be able to spend today with family or friends or go see Les Miserables, that won't stop the Christmas spirit from being alive and well with me. If we each can feel just a little of that spirit within us, then we can be together, regardless of distance or circumstance. United. And with everything that has come to pass in the last month, I think we could really use that right now.

I hope you have a beautiful and happy Holiday. And whether it's with family, friends, or by yourself, know what an amazing gift it is to simply be.

We are loved, each and every one of us.

December Sanity Challenge for 2012: Embracing the Here & Now with Love

2012-12-18T00:00:00.000-06:00

Wow. Is it really already halfway through December and are we mere weeks from a new year? Yup, it is. And with that knowledge comes the pressure to tie up loose ends, to check everything off our multitude of lists, to buy this, that, and the things we hope people won't want to return, and to run a tight ship as we seek to cram the home stretch to 2013 full of Holiday "cheer." And amidst all that, where do we fit taking care of our bodies and minds, having compassion for ourselves, and taking time to slow down and truly enjoy the meaning of the Holiday season?

Unfortunately, even with our best intentions, many of us simply don't. And I am no exception. With the Holidays being the busiest time of the year at both the restaurant and the gym, my goal of attending to others' needs and providing guidance and motivation can sometimes leave little room for me to do the same for myself. So thank goodness for the December Sanity Challenge.

Coined by Cheryl Harris, the author of the wonderful blog, Gluten Free Goodness, she recognized that as our days become full to the nth degree during December, our lives can often be anything but. And with that imbalance, Happiness and Health can become afterthoughts, leaving us frustrated, worn down, and exhausted. Things I have absolutely no experience with. [Clearing throat, eyes cast downward...]

It was extremely gratifying to participate in 2011, and my goal of setting aside at least 15 minutes daily to read something printed (as opposed to something on a computer or phone screen) made a huge difference. So when I received an email from Cheryl inviting me to participate again, I was both honored and excited. I think sanity is something we can always stand to have more of, and to get it, one must make both a conscious and motivated effort.

But before sharing my goals to help me remain Happy and Healthy for the remaining weeks of 2012, allow me to give you a little back story.

When I was younger, I used to journal like a madman. And the self-appointed status of "madman" was the precise reason for the journaling. From poetry to screenplays to the everyday rants and confessions that are typical fodder for a diary, I had so much going on in my head and so much to say, but I didn't trust anyone else to want to hear me. So I kept it private and tucked away, a daily cathartic cleanse to get me through some truly trying times. However, in the last decade or so, I've only journaled on occasion. And it's not because there's less stuff going on in my head or that there's no longer a need - it's because I no longer make time for it. And without that cleanse, things can get quite hoarder-esque in my head.

But luckily, a few weeks ago when I began rehearsals with a new theatre collective, we were given blank journals and asked to write for at least 10 minutes every day. And while it was difficult at first, mostly in terms of writing fast enough to keep up with my torrential stream-of-consciousness, pretty soon I was riding that bike again. [Look Ma - no hands!]

Another part of our homework as we seek to become more honest actors and collaborative art-makers is to share something from our journals at every rehearsal with the group. It's an option, to share a little, a lot, or nothing at all, and the first time we did it, I was pretty set on just listening. Who would want to hear my silly venting? But when I began to hear stories and experiences uncannily close to mine, I found courage to share and to let down my guard. I no longer wanted to be selfish with my thoughts, and just as I was inspired and emboldened by others, I wanted to return the favor. And over the past few weeks, I've come to understand that the risk of being vulnerable is one of the greatest and most gratifying challenges of being human.

Being one of many isn't so bad.

Now I am journaling multiple times daily, and the way it has helped to release my mind from the burden of corralling all my thoughts while stimulating my creative spirit has me feeling more inspired than ever. And experiencing how sharing what I see as "dark and gloomy" can actually create light and communion as others find the opportunity to connect and resonate with my story has been liberating to say the least. Which now brings me to my first two goals:

1. Maintain my practice of writing in my journal on a daily basis.

2. Share something "private" at least twice daily with people, regardless of familiarity.

I definitely don't want to lose sight of my daily cleanse again, as I see how much freer and focused my mind can be. From not being able to keep up, I'm now able to run alongside my thoughts and see them for what they are, not just a nonsensical blur. And from sharing in a closed, "safe" space, I now feel inspired to take it to the next level and pay it forward "out in the open." At work, as my Facebook status or a tweet, with the person cashing me out at the grocery, here on The Canary Files, etc. When we realize that we are not alone, that others feel as we do, whether it's happy, sad, frustrated, or excited, it can break down the walls and force fields we use to isolate ourselves. And while those can have their purpose, they can also keep both us and others from fully experiencing the beauty of who we are. So when I feel that instinct to hold something back, because it's too personal, too deep, sounds too irrational, or whatever judgement I choose to cast on it, instead of saying, "Nothing" or "Never mind," I will choose to say what I feel. And regardless of how it's received, the act of sharing will be enough. Which brings me to my final goal:

3. Tell people that I love them at every opportunity.

Especially with the insanity of the last week and the tragic reminders of impermanence all around us, I feel called to help restore balance with acts of love, compassion, and everyday kindness. This goal was inspired by a very close friend, Lupe, who in a very short time convinced me of the importance of living in the moment and embracing the here and now. I often think that showing my love through my actions is enough, but it really isn't. The act of saying, "I love you"or "You are loved" is extremely powerful, and I hope to wield that power in a loving and nurturing manner to bring me closer to the world around me. It's definitely scary, as we tend to load those three words with so much meaning and significance. But at their root, those words can not be said enough, as they speak to the common desire to both be loved and to love in return, whether it's platonic, romantic, or as a simple but compelling gesture of loving kindness.

I may be here tomorrow, I may not be, and the same goes for every living being that shares this Earth. And whether I know them well, as an acquaintance, or don't know them at all, I would like to celebrate and honor the gift of what it is to be alive, here and now. And that is what I hope to achieve with my three goals: to rediscover myself, to share my discoveries with others (the good, the bad, and even what I think is ugly), and to love fearlessly and without regret.

That is what will truly keep me Happy, Healthy, and living life to the fullest heading into 2013 and beyond.

Daily wisdom to live a life by.

Huge Thanks to Cheryl for making the Sanity Challenge possible and graciously inviting me to be involved once again. To read her posts and the posts of the other wonderful Sanity Challenge co-hosts/contributors, please follow the links below:

December 1st: Valerie of City/Life/Eats

December 8th: Kate of Eat, Recycle, Repeat

December 15th: Cheryl of Gluten-Free Goodness

December 22nd: Iris of Daily Dietribe

December 29th: Carrie of Ginger Lemon Girl

We can all learn something beautiful from one another.

Pumpkin Millet Porridge

2012-12-09T12:51:00.000-06:00

If you follow me on Instagram or are friends with me on Facebook, you might know that I'm currently on a hot breakfast cereal kick. Cream of buckwheat, quinoa muesli, millet porridge - for the past two weeks I've been getting up early [gasp] so I can make breakfast, sit with my journal while sipping hot tea, and actually make the morning a part of my day rather than a rushed afterthought. As a child, my grandmother used to make farina for breakfast, particularly during the Winter to help my brother, sister, and I steel ourselves against the bitter Michigan cold. And while farina (aka cream of wheat) and sub-zero temps are no longer a part of my current life here in Texas, the memories, nostalgia, and love for my grandmother, certainly remain.

Starting the day with warmth.

Millet is a favorite food of mine. Savory, sweet, a little of both - it's particularly satisfying to me in the months surrounding the new year when the days shorten and the temperature drops. And while I've always enjoyed it in terms of taste, learning about both its health benefits and history has only made me love it more. Easily digestible, prebiotic in function, alkaline, and a good source of nutrients such as magnesium, calcium, and phosphorus, just to name a few. And in Asia and parts of Africa, this tiny seed predates rice as a staple food in those cultures, going back tens of thousands of years. And whether it was Russia, Ethiopia, Germany, or China, one of the most common traditional ways of preparing millet was as a porridge.

And after trying today's recipe, it's likely you'll see why. After all, if it isn't broken, why fix it?

Pumpkin Millet Porridge

Gluten-Free & Vegan

Active Prep Time: less than 5 minutes

Inactive Prep Time: at least 8 hours

Cooking time: 25-30 minutes

Yield: about 4 cups

3/4 c millet seed

3 c filtered water, for soaking

1 teaspoon lemon juice

3 c (24 oz) unsweetened non-dairy milk

1/2 c (4 oz) unsweetened pumpkin puree

1/4 c (1 oz) maple syrup

1 teaspoon ground flax

1 teaspoon GF vanilla extract

1 teaspoon ground cinnamon

1 teaspoon ground nutmeg

1/8 teaspoon salt

1. To prepare millet, rinse well and then add filtered water and lemon juice. You can also use apple cider vinegar if lemon juice isn't handy. Soak for at least 8 hours and then strain millet from soaking liquid and rinse one more time. The seeds should look plump in appearance and paler in color. This is an important step to help your body access the wonderful nutrients/vitamins and help the millet be a benefit, rather than a burden, to your digestive system.

2. Combine soaked millet with remaining ingredients in a medium sized saucepan. Bring to a boil and then reduce to medium-low heat for 20-25 minutes. Finished, it should look creamy in texture, not unlike a risotto. Note: It will continue to thicken as it cools, so remove from heat before you arrive at your target consistency. If it becomes too thick, you can always add more liquid. Easy fix.

Not just for the birds.

Rich, creamy, with just the right amount of stickiness.

Garnish with dried fruit and nuts or seeds for beautiful boost.

You can serve this for breakfast, but you could also serve this as a hearty dessert with mulled cider by the fire. Rice pudding, while delicious, always sends me hurtling into a food coma, so it's nice to have an alternative, that while reminiscent, is far healthier and ultimately more compassionate to the body. And if that wasn't motivation enough, the combination of maple syrup, cinnamon, nutmeg, and vanilla tastes like a graham cracker. Yum.

As we hurtle towards the new year, remember to take the opportunity to appreciate the beauty around you, in the people, in the trees, and in the world beyond where you live. And make that beauty known, sharing it selflessly to be that change you wish to see.

Massaged Kale Salad with Daikon, Carrots, & Sunflower Sprouts

2012-12-02T12:18:00.001-06:00

When I ask people about their Thanksgivings, the usual responses are: "It was great!" and "I ate way too much," often in the same breath. In fact, many people at the restaurant who normally would order potato chips with their ciabatta sandwiches and have dessert without fail are ordering entree salads [gasp] and declining dessert with that "I really want it but I know I shouldn't please don't ask me again" look on their face. You know the one. You see it a lot during December and January.

So as I always strive to be part of the solution rather than part of the problem, I will refrain from posting a dessert recipe today and post a salad one instead. One of my favorites, in fact.

Behold: Local, organic superfood royalty.

Massaged kale salad? I've had more than one person raise their eyebrows at the prospect. What did the salad do that was so great to deserve a massage? But it is an absolutely wonderful and extremely nutritious way to enjoy kale, both for those who love it and those who could do without it. In spite of its comfy seat atop the superfood standings, a popular reason that many people take a detour from kale at the salad bar is its fibrousness and characteristic bitter undertones. But by massaging it, you begin to break down the cell walls that are responsible for kale's sturdiness, and you also encourage a natural sweetness to emerge. In effect, you are manually wilting the kale, and while definitely making it more palatable, it also makes the mother lode of nutrition more readily available since your digestive system doesn't have to work so hard anymore to get at all those antioxidants and vitamins. And a bonus? A great workout for your hands and forearms.

So, for kale lovers, those curious about kale, or those turning over a new leaf (even if it's begrudgingly), this salad recipe is for you.

Massaged Kale Salad with Daikon, Carrots, & Sunflower Sprouts

Gluten-Free, Vegan, & Raw

Active Prep Time: 10 minutes

Inactive Prep Time: up to 8 hours

Cooking Time: None

Yield: 2 large salads or 4 side salads

Dressing:

2 heaping tablespoons raw pumpkin seeds

2 tablespoons filtered water

1/4 teaspoon lemon juice

2 tablespoons nutritional yeast

2 tablespoons raw apple cider vinegar

1 tablespoon coconut aminos

1 tablespoon melted coconut oil

1 tablespoon raw agave
1 tablespoon filtered water

1 clove garlic

Salad components:

1 bunch Lacinato/Dino kale, well-rinsed and spun dry

1/2 c julienned carrot

1 c julienned daikon radish

2 c sunflower sprouts

1/2 c cilantro leaves

1 shallot, sliced

sea salt, to garnish/taste

1. Add filtered water and lemon juice to pumpkin seeds and allow to soak. Any amount of soaking will help in terms of promoting a smoother final texture, but in terms of aiding digestibility of the seeds, it is said that soaking at least 7 hours disables enzyme inhibitors and helps to eliminate toxins that naturally occur in raw seeds and nuts. Win-win.

2. After soaking, drain and rinse the pumpkin seeds and combine them with the remaining dressing ingredients in a food processor or blender. Blend until desired smoothness has been reached.

3. To prepare the salad, begin with destemming the kale leaves and tearing them into bite sized pieces in a large, non-reactive bowl.

4. Pour dressing over kale and begin to work the dressing into leaves by grabbing large bunches with one or both hands and emphatically squeezing. This is no Swedish massage - think therapeutic, hurts so good deep tissue. Imagine your hands are chewing the kale - it worked for me. Do this for roughly 5 minutes or until you notice both the texture and color change, from stiff to smooth and silky, and from a deep muted green to a brighter emerald.

5. Incorporate remaining salad ingredients and massage for about 1 more minute. You can serve it immediately or you can refrigerate it in a tightly lidded container for up to 3 days. The salad will marinate and only become more delicious. Before serving, I like to add a pinch or two of sea salt on top.

Let's go for a whirl.

Feel free to make it smoother, but I like a little texture.

Getting my hands dirty. Really work the dressing into the leaves.

To plate or marinate? That is the question.

Served alongside roasted purple yams - an awesome lunch.

The dressing alone is completely worth it for its versatility. Dress a cold pasta salad, use it as a marinade, coat root vegetables in it and roast them, or serve it as a dip for vegetables - so many ways. Its flavor is quite umame, in my opinion: rich, pleasantly sweet, creamy, and pointedly tangy with earthy undertones. Honestly, the first thing that came to mind when tasting it alone was "coconutty bleu cheese," which confused and delighted me at the same time.

I hope you enjoy this recipe. Perhaps bring it to your next Holiday gathering for all those trying so hard to be good. Because when good for you tastes this good, making changes to honor your body and honor the life you've been given can be thrilling and invigorating. And who knows, those changes might even last well into next year, and perhaps the years to come.

You only live once. Make it the best life possible.

In the Spirit of Gratitude

2012-11-22T11:11:00.001-06:00

Today is Thanksgiving. A day off for most, an opportunity for many to be close to friends, family, and loved ones, and a day where eating heartily and drinking merrily are strongly encouraged. And as it would imply, a day of giving thanks and celebrating the blessings of life. I don't know if it's just me, but browsing through Facebook and Twitter this morning, I see more posts, status updates, and check-ins relating to the things that people are grateful for than I've ever seen. It makes me smile, reading about the things that make people happy, and what makes them close their eyes and hold their heart in the spirit of gratitude. And it also makes me smile seeing how many people are viewing today as much more than a chance to sleep in and amass justifications for their New Year's resolutions.

And it also made me think: What am I grateful for?

When I meditated with that question, I was amazed at the number of answers that immediately came to mind. And through the diversity of things that I am thankful for, what stood out to me was the common link between most of them. They were things I did not have.

I am thankful that I no longer feel the urge to run away from parties after eating.
I am thankful that I no longer feel prevented from dancing and moving due to joint pain and fatigue.
I am thankful that I no longer feel disconnected from others.
I am thankful that I no longer see each day as a burden, but as a true gift.
I am thankful that I no longer worry about my bank account when paying for a friend's meal.
I am thankful that I no longer live a life ruled by fear of pain, ridicule, and failure.

And thinking even more on the question and seeing how thankful I was for things I no longer had, it illuminated the root of my gratitude. What I am truly grateful for are the things that have challenged me, stood in my way, and all people who have said "You can't/won't/shouldn't" and "No" and how I implicitly agreed. It's all the things that have tested me and pushed me to discover what was beyond my self-imposed limitations. The knee injury that derailed my dreams of being a dancer on Broadway. The psychiatrists who sentenced me to a life-long need for prescriptions to regulate my psychological health. The dysfunctional relationship with food that made me afraid and ashamed of eating. Loved ones moving to the other side of the world. For most of my life, I embraced so much anger, resentment, and ugliness within me. Poison. But it was through that, and owning it rather than burying it away, that I can now appreciate what's on the other side of the coin - Endless everyday beauty that can soothe the soul, warm the heart, and inspire laughter and smiles that are genuine and real.

And what I am truly grateful for is finally being able to see that I am a part of that beauty. I can say that I am beautiful and I don't have to feel like I'm lying or putting on a show. Words cannot do justice to how much that means to me.

I am grateful that I tried eating gluten-free on a whim in the midst of my first Saturn Return. That a tumultuous life of uncertainty and instability switched to a life that is relatively tranquil and centered. That I have the opportunity to share that bliss of knowing and celebrating both sides - the Light and the Dark. And I am grateful that nothing stays the same. That each day is a new day to learn, to love, and to cherish.

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone. Thank you for reading and allowing me to share my journey with you. May today, and each day to come, remind you of how blessed you are - both with things you do have and things that you do not.

Quinoa-Stuffed Acorn Squash with Pumpkin Seeds, Apricots, & Pine Nuts

2012-11-14T01:23:00.000-06:00

For the Holidays, it's all about the sides. While you might contend that the turkey, pot roast, or tofurky are the leading players, I would beg to differ that it's more of an ensemble effort, particularly during Thanksgiving and the Winter Holidays. Everyone wants a little of everything, leaving their plates a motley crue of colors, flavors, and textures. And as someone who has been known to order three appetizers in place of three courses, it makes both cooking and eating during this time of year particularly satisfying.

Today's recipe was inspired by a turmeric-spiced quinoa pilaf with pine nuts that my sister made most recently for our flight to the Philippines. Neither of us eat dairy, and knowing that her vegetarian and my gluten-free designated meals would likely contain some form of milk, cheese, or butter, we were prepared. I remember eating it at one point during the 15 hour flight to Nagoya in the dark cabin and feeling comfort, security, and a sense of sigh-inducing contentment. And what better time to share that than during the most family-oriented gatherings of the year?

Should you be making this for a smaller crowd or even just you and someone special, it could be extra fancy to stuff it into an acorn squash, so I'm including basic instructions for that as well. But regardless if it's in a squash, snuggled up close to green beans or mashed potatoes, or simply on its own, rest assured that this vibrant side dish won't shy from taking center stage.

Middle Eastern Spiced Quinoa Saute with Pumpkin Seeds, Apricots, & Pine Nuts
Gluten-Free & Vegan

Active Prep Time: 5-10 minutes
Inactive Prep Time: none
Cooking Time: 10 minutes
Yield: approx. 2 1/2 cups

3 tablespoons oil
1 1/2 teaspoons cumin seeds
1/2 c onion, sliced
1 clove garlic, sliced
1 teaspoon ginger, finely chopped
1-2 teaspoons jalapeno, chopped (optional)
1/2 teaspoon ground turmeric
1 tablespoon raw pine nuts
2 tablespoons raw pumpkin seeds
2 tablespoons dried apricot, diced

2 c cooked quinoa
1 c baby greens

salt and pepper, to taste

1. Heat oil in wok or large pan over medium heat. Add cumin seeds and gently fry for about 1 minute.

2. Add onion and saute until translucent and softened, about 1-2 minutes.

3. Add garlic, ginger, and jalapeno, if desired, and a pinch of salt. Saute for about 1 minute until aromatic, stirring to prevent the garlic and ginger from burning. Note: Generally, with the addition of each new ingredient, I add another two-fingered pinch or two of salt. Of course this helps with seasoning overall, but it also helps to keep each new component's flavor distinct.

4. Add turmeric, pine nuts, pumpkins seeds, and apricot and continue cooking for another 1-2 minutes, imparting a beautiful yellow glow to your ingredients.

5. Add quinoa and stir to combine, doing your best to separate, and not mush, the grains to give the dish a nice 'fluff' and a consistent color. Slightly reduce heat and cook altogether for another 3-4 minutes.

6. When finished, remove from heat source and fold in baby greens. They will wilt from the residual heat.

7. Season to taste. Tastes wonderful either hot from the stove or served cold as a salad.

Mise en place always makes me happy.

The permanent mark of turmeric on my 'curry-designated' spoon.

Almost there. Intensely aromatic.

Gently tossing with baby red chard greens before serving.

Roasted Acorn Squash
Gluten-Free & Vegan

Active Prep Time: 5 minutes
Inactive Prep Time: none
Cooking Time: 40-60 minutes
Yield: 4 halves

(2) 1 lb. acorn squashes
2 tablespoons oil
salt and pepper, to taste

1. Preheat oven to 400 degrees.

2. Cut each acorn squash in half lengthwise. Do not discard the seeds. If you have a very round squash, it may be helpful to slice a small portion off the rounded part to help it stand steady as a bowl.

3. Drizzle about half a tablespoon oil into each half. Massage into flesh, seeds, and membrane.

4. Season and bake, open side down for 40-60 minutes, or until fork tender. For added flavor, bake your acorn squash with herbs (e.g., sage, rosemary, thyme), spices (e.g., cumin, cinnamon), or aromatics (e.g., shallots, ginger, garlic) stuffed into the center of each half.

5. Note: Keeping the seeds and membrane creates additional steam within the squash, helping to cook it evenly and maintain moisture. And at the end of it all, your bonus is roasted squash seeds to snack on.

Shallot nestled in the seeds, leaving behind beautiful flavor.

If serving quinoa with the acorn squash, spoon a heaping 1/2 cup into each half. But they would also do well to be served on their own as separate sides. Just don't be surprised if they end up finding each other anyways. The nutty sweetness of the squash is a beautiful echo to the comforting warmth of the turmeric and cumin and the contrasting sweetnesses of onion, apricot, and wilted greens. And I love the pop of the pine-nuts and snap of the pumpkin seeds - so much fun and really quite simple to throw together, even last minute.

Hope you're having a beautiful week thus far. Can you believe that in eight days we'll already be at Thanksgiving and just about a month from the end of the year? Yeah, neither can I.

Let's enjoy it.

Spicy Chipotle Pumpkin Hummus

2012-11-08T07:21:00.000-06:00

I love hummus. Whether it's made with chickpeas, black beans, or lentils, it's a true staple in my kitchen. I make it 2-3 times a week, and you'll just have to trust me when I say that standing in front of my food processor and rummaging through my head for ideas on how I will yet again recreate hummus is actually really exciting. Because aside from how delicious and nutritious it is, the best thing about hummus is its versatility. So many ways to take one basic hummus recipe and endlessly reinvent it, from seasonings and spices, to the type of bean, to adding new ingredients. [insert sound of mental fireworks]

Which brings us to today's post for chipotle pumpkin hummus. My days off are often cooking/baking marathons as I do my best to create enough food to sustain me until my next day off and also create recipes for the blog. I had leftover pumpkin puree from another recipe, and as hummus was next on my to-do list, I thought, "Why not?" And voila, food for me and food for the blog coincide. [fist pump]

It's a wonderful variation on hummus that's a bit spicy and a touch sweet to take advantage of both the season's offerings and to please all the pumpkin-eaters at your upcoming Thanksgiving and Holiday parties.

Served alongside beautiful local & organic vegetables. [sigh]

Chipotle Pumpkin Hummus

Gluten-Free & Vegan

Active Prep Time: 5 minutes

Inactive Prep Time: none

"Cooking" Time: less than 5 minutes

Yield: Approximately 2 cups

(1) 26 oz can garbanzo beans

1/2 c (4 1/2 oz) canned pumpkin puree

3 tablespoons tahini

2 cloves garlic, chopped

1-2 teaspoons jalapeno, sliced (optional)

1/2 teaspoon ground chipotle
1/4 teaspoon ground cinnamon

1/2 teaspoon salt

5-7 teaspoons fresh lemon juice

1/3 c canning liquid reserved from garbanzo beans

2-3 tablespoons extra virgin olive oil

1. Drain garbanzo beans, setting aside at least 1/3 cup of the canning liquid.

2. Combine all ingredients except extra virgin olive oil. The jalapeno, as indicated is optional, but if your goal is to moderate the heat but not the flavor, you can always choose to remove the ribs and/or seeds or just simply use less. My tip: Always taste your jalapeno first before adding to a recipe, as not all are created equal.

3. Pulse a few times to just combine the ingredients and then run continuously for a few moments until you have a roughly smooth texture. Stop the processor and scrape down the sides as necessary.

4. Slowly drizzle the olive oil through the food chute as you run the processor continuously. Take your time with this step: it's important to achieving the palate-pleasing creaminess that hummus is known for.

5. Transfer to a container and chill to allow flavors to come together. Flavors will be best the next day, so try to avoid making any seasoning decisions based on a first taste. Garnish with a drizzle of extra virgin olive oil and a dash of chipotle and/or cinnamon before serving.

6. Note: if using a blender in place of a food processor, results may be best if you halve your ingredients and make this recipe in two separate batches.

I love the glints of emerald green.

Not too smooth, not too chunky: Just right.

This is an ideal, make-ahead-of-time contribution to a potluck or party, and will definitely "bring the foodies to the yard." From the richness of the pumpkin, the loving bite of jalapeno, to the billowing warmth of chipotle and cinnamon, it's quite an enjoyable ride for the tastebuds that will have you and those with whom you share it coming back for more. And if you don't happen to have pumpkin, but you have sweet potato, trust that it's an amazing substitute.

Thank you to my good friend and colleague, Chris, for encouraging me to share this recipe. I've been getting a lot more requests lately, particularly as we head into 'that time of year' which can leave a lot of us canaries anxious and unsure about eating options at parties and gatherings. So if there's anything you'd like to see here, be it pumpkin pie to stuffed cabbage rolls, just let me know.

If I can help you feel more in the mood to celebrate and dig in rather than twiddle your thumbs and push food around your plate, I would love it. And if it also means helping you introduce others to the delicious wonders of clean, healthy, creative eating, I would love that, too.

After all, the holidays are about sharing, right?

Black Rice Biko with Latik: Celebrating the Days of the Dead

2012-11-02T13:10:00.000-05:00

Before my family and I left for the Philippines, I had expressed an interest to my parents in learning more about our family's history. I was excited to know more about my parents' parents and their families - to understand my place in the long line of Itchons, Guerreros, Castros, and Sibayans. I wanted to connect with my roots. But arriving in the Philippines and spending the first week on city tours and visiting various museums, I became suspicious that something might have been lost in translation somewhere. But as I've learned, most things we want in life don't happen on our schedule of 'right now' and 'can't wait.' When we find more patience and stop reaching so desperately, it's amazing how things start to just fall into place. And for me and my search for my family's roots, that's exactly what happened.

Our second week in the Philippines was spent in Laoag and Villasis, cities far removed from the hustle and bustle of Metro Manila. Instead of a concrete jungle with slow-moving rivers of cars, motorcycles, and jeepneys and an infestation of American fast food, there were fields of rice and sugar cane, wifi hotspots were few and very far between, and the number of malls and Starbucks could be counted on one hand. And these cities were also home to our ancestral family graves and tombs.

The grave of a relative on my mother's side in Laoag.

In the tomb of my father's mother and family.

Visiting the graves, there was a ritual of cleaning the tombstones, tearing away any grass or vines that might have grown over it and wiping away the dirt. We left flowers and if the wind would allow, we would light candles as we paid our respects and prayed for their everlasting peace and happiness. It took me off guard the first few times, particularly when I was asked to lead a prayer for a relative who had died long before I was born. But it gradually became clear that not having met them had no relevance: I was meeting them now. And what began as unusual soon became extremely emotional, and at times, heartwrenching.

This was especially the case in Villasis, where we stayed in my father's ancestral home. Remember when I mentioned that things can just "fall into place"? This was where I got exactly what I asked for and more. When we first arrived, there was a party waiting for us and my sister and I were met with a dizzying barrage of cousins, aunts, and uncles. One of my younger cousins said that I looked just like his grandfather and he led me to a collection of vintage family portraits. And he pointed to one of my paternal grandmother's brothers and smiled. I look quite different from my siblings, and growing up I often wondered where that came from. But looking at these pictures, I didn't need to wonder anymore. That discovery was one of the highlights of my entire trip and visiting his grave a few days later, I was brought to tears, that perhaps his spirit could see that his likeness lives on in me.

Family picture from the 1940s. Notice the gentleman in the top right.

So with today being All Souls' Day and yesterday All Saints' Day, I wanted to do something special on The Canary Files. While these two days are often observed as solemn days of remembrance and reverence in many parts of the world, in the Philippines it is a national holiday and a time to celebrate. Millions will flock to cemeteries, bringing music, games, balloons, and flowers to spend the whole day, and sometimes the whole night, with the spirits of the departed. And whether it's at the cemetery or in their homes, a feast, not unlike Thanksgiving in magnitude, is in order. And biko, a sweet, coconutty sticky rice cake, is almost always made for this occasion.

So even though I'm thousands of miles from those cemeteries and celebrations, this is my way of taking part. A richly sweet and spiced sweet sticky rice garnished with a crisp caramel garnish of fried coconut milk.

Honoring not only my ancestors and the souls that went before me, but my heritage as well.

Five-Spice Black Rice Biko
Gluten-Free & Vegan

Active Prep Time: 5 minutes
Inactive Prep Time: up to 8 hours
Cooking Time: 45-60 minutes
Yield: approx. (6) 2"x2" servings

3/4 c black glutinous rice
1/4 short grain brown rice
4 c cold filtered water (for soaking)
2-2 1/2 c filtered water (for cooking)

1 c full-fat coconut milk
1 c coconut sugar
1/4 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon five-spice powder

1. Rinse the rice and then cover with 4 cups water to soak. Any amount of soaking will help, but I recommend at least 4 hours, if not overnight, to help promote sticky, yet tender, rice that cooks evenly and more expediently. If you suspect that your rice may be a little older, err on soaking longer.

2. After soaking, drain completely. You can either use a rice cooker at this point or a medium saucepan. If using a rice cooker, add the water for cooking, set it and forget it. If using a saucepan, add the water for cooking, bring to a boil, and then cover tightly and immediately reduce to a simmer over medium-low heat. You will want the rice to absorb the water completely, which can take anywhere from 30-45 minutes. If after that time your rice needs more water, just add what you think you may need, stir the rice, and replace the lid.

3. While the rice is cooking, combine the coconut milk, sugar, salt, and five-spice powder in a small saucepan. Stir to generally combine, bring to a boil, and then reduce to a simmer uncovered. I treated this very much like a caramel sauce, periodically swishing the mixture instead of stirring it by moving the saucepan in a circular motion horizontally. Keep a close eye on this, as the potential for boiling over is high. You're looking for a deep brown color, a reduction of the mixture by at least a third, and slower moving, larger bubbles as it simmers. This should take about 10-15 minutes.

4. When both are finished, add the sauce to the rice and stir to combine. Cook over medium-low heat until the rice has completely absorbed the sauce.

5. Transfer to a serving dish and spread evenly. It can be served immediately, but as it cools, the biko will firm up and allow you to cut it into squares. Choose the option that will be best for your occasion and the appetite of your guests.

6. Can be kept in the refrigerator, tightly covered, for up to 4 days.

Soaked and plumped grains.

Coconut caramel sauce making the house smell amazing.

Stirring the two together...

Cooled and ready to cut and serve.

Latik (aka Crispy Fried Coconut Curd)
Gluten-Free & Vegan

Active Prep Time: none
Inactive Prep Time: none
Cooking time: 30-45 minutes
Yield: 2-3 tablespoons latik and 2-3 tablespoons coconut oil

1 c full-fat coconut milk

1. Bring coconut milk to a boil. Continue stirring until it has thickened considerably and begins to look gel-like (i.e., "goopy"). This will take 15-20 minutes.

2. Reduce heat and continue to stir. The milk will begin separating into oil and solids, and as you continue to cook, the solids will begin to fry in the oil.

3. Stop cooking when solids have turned a deep golden brown and strain from oil. Drain on a paper towel.

4. Sprinkle as a garnish over the biko. Also try it as a garnish for oatmeal, ice cream, waffles, or crepes. The dark, crunchy sweetness is truly a treat.

5. Store in the refrigerator in a lidded container for up to 5 days.

Just beginning to curdle and separate.

Strain it right before it's done. It will continue to cook while draining.

Latik, ready to garnish.

There are many variations on biko, some with a broiled custard topping, others flavored with pandan or star anise. I love the flavors of five-spice, and so it was a no-brainer for me to incorporate it into this take on the traditional recipe for this beloved Filipino dessert. And the way it captures the symbolism of change was also appropriate, as my trip to the Philippines truly transformed my life, allowing me to finally think about the now in the context of the past and how that will brighten and enrich the future.

I hope you enjoy this recipe and find many special celebrations with which to share it. And share it not only with those you love now, but also those you have loved and that have passed on. Because they live on in our hearts, our memories, and our traditions. And as long as we hold those close, they don't have to leave our lives and we can continue to honor them.

After all, where would we be without them?

Cadena de amor flowers growing wild over the tombs.

Gluten-Free, Vegan Marbled Sweet Potato Muffins: A Halloween Treat

2012-10-27T13:25:00.000-05:00

I've been waiting for the perfect opportunity to share this recipe with you. Moist, slightly sweet, seasonally spiced to warm the palate and soul, with a festive marble swirl of orange and dark brown. And with Halloween lurking just around the corner, what better time than now?

I won't pretend that these cute little muffins would make good treats for the costumed kiddos knocking at your door. Not that they wouldn't enjoy them, but the high probability of them being smushed to the consistency of cat-food amidst the lollipops, candy bars, and caramel apples could make them impractical. But serving them at a party, bringing a batch or two to the office, or baking them in the morning to have the aroma rouse your family or roommates better than any alarm clock and draw them to the kitchen - they could be awesome for that.

A treat that could easily trick any gluten-free or vegan naysayer into asking for seconds.

Marbled Spiced Sweet Potato Muffins with Currants
Gluten-Free & Vegan / inspired by a recipe for Pumpkin Cupcakes by Karina Allrich, aka The Gluten-Free Goddess

Active Prep Time: 10 minutes
Inactive Prep Time: 30 minutes
Baking Time: 20-25 minutes for mini-muffins; 35-45 minutes for regular-sized muffins
Yield: 4 dozen mini muffins or 1 dozen regular-sized muffins

2 heaping tablespoons ground flax

6 tablespoons water

1/2 c (4 oz) + 2 tablespoons (1 oz) unsweetened coconut milk beverage
1/2 teaspoon apple cider vinegar

2 tablespoons black currants

2 tablespoons fresh orange juice

1 c (4 oz) sorghum flour
1/2 c (2 oz) arrowroot starch
6 tablespoons (1 1/2 oz) coconut flour
1 1/2 teaspoons GF baking powder
1 teaspoon baking soda

1/2 c (2 oz) almond flour
1/2 teaspoon salt
2 teaspoons shawarma spice
1 teaspoon ground cinnamon

1 c (9 oz) unsweetened sweet potato puree
1 c (4 oz) coconut sugar
3 tablespoons (2 1/2 oz) maple syrup
6 tablespoons (3 oz) oil
4 teaspoons GF vanilla extract

For marble:
2 tablespoons ground carob
2 tablespoons water or non-dairy milk

1. Combine flax with water and add vinegar to the 1/2 cup coconut milk beverage to make your two 'eggs' and buttermilk, respectively. Add orange juice to currants to rehydrate. Set these three aside while you prep your dry and wet mixtures.

2. Sift sorghum, arrowroot, coconut flour, and leavening together into a small mixing bowl. Add almond flour, salt, and spices and mix well.

3. Whisk together sweet potato, sugar, maple syrup, oil, and vanilla extract. I've used melted coconut oil, extra virgin olive oil, and a combination of the two, and all have worked well. Feel free to use what you have on hand.

4. Fold 'eggs' into wet mixture first, and then add buttermilk and mix to combine.

5. Add the dry mixture to wet mixture a third at a time. Mix well, but be careful to avoid overmixing. The batter will be quite thick and on the drier side.

6. Separate 1/3 of the batter to the small mixing bowl and add carob and water or non-dairy milk. Mix until uniform in color (a deep and rich dark brown). If you would prefer to use cocoa, keep the amount the same, but I would recommend using sweetened cocoa powder or adding a little more sugar to the recipe.

7. Drain currants and fold into the sweet potato batter. Add the final two tablespoons coconut milk beverage and mix to just combine.

8. Prepare your muffin tin(s) with cupcake liners. Alternate the batters, with the carob batter accenting the sweet potato batter, and fill the liners nearly to the top. Using a butter knife, gently zigzag the blade through the intersection of the batters to create the marble. Lightly tap the muffin tin on the countertop to eliminate air bubbles.

9. Once the muffins are prepped, you will want to let them rest for about 30 minutes. You may have concerns about the leavening, but I can tell you from from trying it every which way that this way works best. Allowing the flours and starches to hydrate allows them to hold on to steam from the moisture vaporizing once in the oven, giving you the best rise. The results of baking them right away or letting them rest for an hour or more, while still delicious, were not nearly as nice aesthetically.

10. After about 20 minutes, preheat oven to 350 degrees. Once at temp, bake for 20-25 minutes for mini-muffins or 35-45 minutes for regular sized muffins. You are looking for a firm crust on top that rebounds gently given slight pressure. The batter is so moist that it's quite forgiving, so when in doubt, allow it to go a bit longer.

11. Allow to cool in the tin for 5 minutes and then transfer to a cooling rack. If not eating right away (kudos in advance for the willpower), store in an airtight container in the fridge for up to 3 days.

Mixing to just combine.

Carob and currants added, ready to face off.

I bet you could get away with filling them a touch higher.

In a word, yum.

The first time I made this cake, it was for an impromptu dinner gathering amongst friends from work. I made it as a loaf and served it warm from the oven a la mode with coconut ice cream. I knew it was a success when people would disappear from the conversation only to be found cutting themselves another piece. One of the best compliments.

While I'm featuring this recipe for Halloween, it can fit seamlessly into any Thanksgiving or Holiday dessert spread with its subtle spice, striking beauty, and satisfying complexity of flavors. You could make it again and again and I can assure you people won't complain - particularly the canaries in your crowd. The rich, maltiness of the carob paired with the hearty sweetness of sweet potato, plumped currants as exclamation points on an undercurrent of aromatic Mediterranean spice - divine. And not only good to taste, but good for the body as well. And when the two meet like that, as they often do on The Canary Files, who can complain?

Why I've nicknamed this, "Tiger Cake." Rawr.

A wonderful example of how gluten-free, dairy-free, and vegan baked goods can be equally, if not more, delicious given attention to detail and the addition of love.

P.S. - Huge thanks to Karina Allrich for the inspiration for this recipe. She truly is a Gluten-Free Goddess, and her photos, her words and wisdom, and each of her recipes are profoundly beautiful. Please do yourself a favor and visit her blog. A feast for the senses.