My diary

飞蛾

2018-12-15T03:04:00.002-08:00

宝贝，你不在一个星期了。
你还好吗?
姐姐们，爸爸妈妈都很好。
虽然眼泪还是会流。
可是我相信我们会再见。

那天有只飞蛾飞来家里，我知道一定是你!
可是你没让我看见你。 :'(

没关系的。姐姐不会生气。
只要你好就好。

依然爱你，依然想念你。

你不在的第一天

2018-12-07T16:49:00.001-08:00

睡醒后眼泪还是一直流。
昨天是第一个没有你的晚上，床变大了，因为你不在了。我转身的时候不需要轻轻的，因为你不在了。
我很想你，真的很想你baby...
你不在了我不知道可以做什么。
我睡醒要做什么，我下班回家要做什么。
以前上班前一定会为你准备早餐，可是现在你不在了。
以前下班后一定忙着为你准备晚餐，可是你不在了。
我不知道我睡醒后要做什么，下班回来了要做什么。
空荡荡的房间，再也看不到你了。
我很想你。很想你。很想你。

宝贝，记得我们说好的事情!

十年

2018-12-06T10:24:00.001-08:00

十年了。
就这么一眨眼，真的那么的一眨眼就过去了。
看着你突然迅速的老化，我已经开始害怕了。
也开始想象没有你过后的日子到底要用多久的时间才能习惯。
只是到了真正要分开的时候才发觉原来想象是没用的。
你一直都好乖好乖，除了很选吃之外。
这半年来你差不多天天都在我房间小便，我没怪你，因为我知道这一个机会很快就没了。这一年内从没带过你去外面洗澡，因为我想珍惜可以亲自为你做的事情。
半年前你的肾脏就开始严重的退化，4个月前体重也开始下降的很厉害。一直想办法的想要快点把你的病情控制好，只是都徒劳无功。每次看你稍微有起色的时候，你的身体又再比上次严重。
上个月开始打皮下水又看到又好转，结果这个星期你的体重又下降了。这一年来我就没少担心过，看你精神状态好一点就觉得欣慰。
可今天你却连我回家都不想动了。我不敢说，可是如果你很痛苦，那你就去吧。记得我们说好的事情!

爱你99

she

2018-04-09T05:39:00.002-07:00

when you are thinking how to do this..
then she is not helping, and keep ask why u didnt think it out earlier....

haizzz.

我没恒心吗？还是你从不体谅。

2018-03-18T00:53:00.001-07:00

就算我明知无法取悦每一个人，就算我知道不是每一个人都有办法了解你。
可是可不可以不打击？

我想赚多一点钱，开始做自己想做的东西。
你又叫我叫补习，放工回家教补习，家务没人帮，其它都说不得空。
已经完全没完时间了。却还要被说没有恒心。
为什么我一个人做那么多，你们不体谅，还要说我没恒心呢？

累了，想休息。
又说没恒心。

我没恒心吗？还是你们没体谅过我？
我一直都在做，你不懂。
我什么都自己做。
你们什么都没有帮。
就只会加把嘴打击别人。
为什么你们都可以说累？我不可以？

你们累的时候，什么都不用做。
我累的时候却还是什么都做。
为什么？

你们对我公平吗？？？
有体谅我吗？
有想帮助我吗？

都没有。。。。。。。。。。。。。

花语茶馆。 Florid Teahouse

2017-12-28T18:14:00.002-08:00

I was thinking to do online business quite a long time ago.
but didnt really proceed.
first is i know it will be very hard, i might don't even have time to rest.
your time will be bundled by this business.
you will need to do research, how to promote, how will be the packaging, the photo, etc
you will have no time to rest, especially i am doing this after work.

2nd is because i worried alot, i have no idea how to run a business,
i have no idea how to plan, how to promote.
somehow, i am really lost.

3rd is because i am lazy, i dont deny it.
i don't want to start, i want to rest.

4th is because i am face saving ppl,
i hate asking ppl to like my page, i hate telling ppl that this is my business,
i hate using my personal fb to inform others.

5th is because i always think that, things will get better soon, is ok
i can survive with just little salary, as long as i dont buy, dont shop, dont eat expensive food.

But then i changed my mind, my life will not be changed if i dont work hard.
my life will not be changed if i dont move on.
i cant expect my life will get better without working hard, without changing something.

So i decided to do online business.
i launched my page on 3rd december 2017.
officially telling ppl that i am doing online business.

I have no time to rest, once i got home from work, settle everything then i open my laptop again.
come out with a plan, think what to do next, etc...

i am still worry, i am still lost.
the beginning is always the hardest part.
i wont give up.

lazy will not change my life. just do it.

someone just said you are now moving on because you no longer scare to ask ppl to like your page, to support you. not even invite, but also send msg one by one.
not sure where does this courage came from, but i just did it.
dont care how ppl say about me, just do it.
i used to be hating this alot, but when the thought changed, then it's not that hard anymore.

i always conform myself that, a new year will be better.
cheating myself*
expect everything can be used for a super long time without the need to repair.
but, think again.
how could this possible..
naive.

Before ending the post, i would like to introduce the business i am doing.
i am selling compact flower tea-bag.
which is convenient and easy to carry.
i will also explain the benefit of the tea so that you can understand more and know what suitable for you.

if you are reading this post, kindly click the link below and have a look.
Thanks for the support.

花语茶馆。 Florid Teahouse

等待也好，迷茫也好，都不要把自己留在原地.

以后？

2017-10-26T08:47:00.001-07:00

曾经很喜欢很喜欢很喜欢一个人。
第一次那么的喜欢一个人，因为太喜欢他，所以当时非常的伤心。
伤心了很久很久很久。
有时候会无端端得想到他是否有那么一刻是对我有感觉的，是否心里会有我的位置？
纯碎好奇嘛。
毕竟我那么喜欢他，当时。

从那次以后就再也没有喜欢过人了。
那时候太伤心了。

我会不会以后孤独一个人啊？因为太害怕受伤。

2 dogs in the house

2017-10-17T23:23:00.000-07:00

guess what

my dad just brought home a puppy husky which just 21 days old.

i was strongly disagree because we already have a baby creamboy.

in the past 8 years he was the king, how could him accept another one in the house?

but my sis said why not we give a try, maybe they can be fren??

my mum suggests that we can try to raise him for a month and see how is it first.

other than that, we also thinking that the puppy is still very small, yet to do the first vaccine.

thus we decided to raise him for a month..

hopefully both of them can works well! .

hate myself

2017-08-25T04:01:00.001-07:00

what an emo day..
seeing frens has developed their own business, achieving their dream.
wat am i doing?
wat have i achieved?

i hate myself for staying not moving forward.
but i dunno wat should i do.
i am so lost..
:( :( :(

i hate myself, 讨厌懦弱的自己..

goals updated

2017-06-04T02:36:00.000-07:00

status update......

goals status updated
1) split, it's still not perfect enough!! got to work harder..
2）read 10 articles/blog/news every week.. hahaha, i failed this...
change it to 20 a month?
3) listen to 5 English conversation every week..i failed this too..hahah
change it to 20 a month also? hahha
4) stop buying the things online as i need to save money for 4 months ..another month pass, i did it...
but due to some issue, instead of until August, i think i got to do for another month which is until September.. :(...sad
5) go back to 42 kgs!!! - finally!!,.attended zumba class, i really sweat alot... i think this is the main reason of losing weight...
but the class already finished.. :( no more Zumba class liao..
maybe dance in the house? hahahh, not a bad idea though..better than doing ntg right? haha
6)enhance the photography skill and knowledge.. any suggestion, kindly drop ur comment here.. :)
7) continue to update my blog for at least once a month..

let's come back again next month :)

Goals of May

2017-05-02T06:45:00.002-07:00

time to check whether the goals i set are achieve or not...

goals of last month..

1) 一字马 i have been practicing for so long, but still i couldnt make it.!! practice make perfect!!

i have to make it by this month.i still couldnt make it!!..还差一点！...why is this so difficult.
:(

2）read 20 articles/blog/news... yes. i did it! ..woohoo

3) listen 20 English conversation/news/...yes. i did it! ..woohoo

4) stop buying the things online as i need to save money for 4 months because i wanna clear my installment within 4 months..yes, i did! i survived for a month!3 months to go! :(

above is the results of the goal!
dont stop it! , gonna set new goal for May!..hahah

continue to do split , not going to stop until i make it... but i think i did wrong during practice. so it didnt works!, is ok, i joined a month of Zumba/pilates/yoga classes, gonna work hard here!
instead of saying read 20 articles/blog/news, i gonna make it more specific！read 10 every week!
listen to 5 English conversation every week.
stop buying the things online for another 3 months!
go back to 42 kgs!!!

new goals set!!!

Quarter of the year

2017-04-25T22:20:00.000-07:00

it has reached quarter of the year...

now only i want to set a goal for this year, will it be to late?

hahah

just joking.

i did set some goals last year, but then i realized actually i didnt achieve any of it, but maybe yes..

because i cant even remember wat i have set.

so this year i would like to make some changes..

instead of setting goal of the year, i would like to set goal of the month..

this would be much easier for me to achieve perhaps?

hahah

goals of the month..

1) 一字马 i have been practicing for so long, but still i couldnt make it.!! practice make perfect!!

i have to make it by this month.

2）read 20 articles/blog/news...

3) listen 20 English conversation/news/...

4) stop buying the things online as i need to save money for 4 months because i wanna clear my installment within 4 months..

let's come back and see if the above are achievable or not by end of April..xP

no idea

2017-04-02T01:14:00.002-07:00

No idea what's wrong with me recently..
very tired but almost insomnia for the whole week...
too many things to think, alot of things flowing around my mind..

not sure if i have accidentally hurt someone or not..
no idea..
i dont like to change..
dont like to start over the things that i already used to..
environment? work? etc...
just dont like..

no idea..
NO idea how to express my feelings,
no idea how to do it,
just uncomfortable, but dunno why..

at least 1 time, i can 耍耍小脾气...
but endup ..
arh..
no idea
seriously no idea..

get well soon

公平不公平

2017-03-29T06:09:00.001-07:00

很多时候，很多事情都不公平的。。
我不是那些随随便便就会发脾气的人。。
久而久之，别人都以为你没有脾气或者你不会生气。。
可是我会啊，我也有感觉的吧。。。
我也是人来的。。
怎么可能不会生气

如果有一天，你不想再说什么。。
别人就会说，你变得冷淡了。。
好像不想和我们说话了。。
然后你就真的变得有问题了。。
别人都开始埋怨你。。
都觉得你有问题。。
可是，谁真的想过是不是在什么时候伤了她呢？
没有。。

你可能觉得不想失去什么而觉得的容忍也没什么。。
可别人就会当成理所当然。。
怎么取得平衡？
不知道。。

就一个emo post..
我跟我的朋友都很好。。！Lol

STOP

2017-03-28T09:29:00.000-07:00

hey,

is not the right time yet..

u are waiting so long to meet the right one...

the one who really really care about you, accept the one you are..

can lead you..

you shouldnt give up until you found him..

believe in God, he is arranging this person to you.

please stay awake until you meet him..

dont be blindfolded by the current situation..

you clear enough, he is not the one..

stop finding yourself excuse..

from what you wrote,

i guess you are fully awake now..

you know you are deserve better..

you will found him, no matter when..

please wait, no rush..

yes, i am..

no worries..

my very first oversea trip to Taiwan.

2017-03-04T22:56:00.001-08:00

Taiwan is my first oversea trip..
i had many first time during this Taiwan trip..
hahha

finally i have passport..
my first time took plane..
Korean style of dressing..
experienced of 寒流..
etc..

i was very nervous about 1 month before the trip...
i think i had abit overthinking / over worried...
so 2 days before the trip, i fell sick..
doctor told me that i was too nervous, so he advised me how to relax..
etc..
getting better after that..hahah
only i felt excited instead of nervous...
hahha

reached Taiwan about 3 something, checked out from custom ...etc..
around 8pm only we reached the homestay at Feng Jia..
no doubt, first meal at feng jia market..
it was freezing that day, i cant take my hands out from my pocket..LOL
were staying at Feng jia for 4 nights ..
Fengjia market was a must to visit every night...!
compare to others, i would prefer Fengjia..
the food is nice, the ppls are nice and the prices are reasonable..

during the 4 days in Taichung, we were using taxi..
we called it 包车..
they are so kind and nice to talk, if anyone want to go, i will strongly recommend them..
cheaper, young and nice..hahahha

after 4 nights of staying in Fengjia/Taichung, finally is Taipei..
first station that we visited was 龙三寺。。
ppl said the 月老is very famous, for those who is still single can pray and get the red ribbon from 月老..but you have to do some research on how to get the red ribbon...
btw, i got mine!!!
haha <3 p="">we went to different night market every night, but i still prefer fengjia...
hahah

if talking about food,
臭豆腐，面线， and 卤肉饭 are must to eat..
especially chou dou fu!!!!! .
i never expect that the dou fu would be this delicious..
must try..

so after 8 days of holidays, time to get back to reality..!!

P/S: thanks God because i met them..
went to a princess trip whereas the guys will always be your side and treating you like a princess..
辛苦你们啦！。。
had a great birthday celebration..<3 p="">
looking forward our next trip..
NewZealand or Korea?

ajusi - dokebi

2017-01-15T03:30:00.002-08:00

A great beginning of year 2017..
Goblin..

haha
i must be crazy.
i am too addicted into this drama d,
ajusi really very handsome.
otoke..
the drama is going to end soon, i can feel the emptiness without this drama accompany for the weekend.
hahah,
this is single problem..

see, i actually set this as my desktop picture.haha
u know how crazy am i now..
btw, i guess that the ending will be going to like eun tek will lost her memory and together with a 'new' kim shin..
but this is not the ending i want.. :( :( :(
why cant they remember everything and continue their love story as a normal person??
andueh yo.. :'(
so sad nia...

voith 150

2016-12-08T06:54:00.000-08:00

finally done the voith 150 years poster and countdown..
finally feeling relieve abit...

more update to come:

cry

2016-10-14T04:56:00.000-07:00

12/10/2016..
a sad day..:(

being gik by salesman
angry till cry in the office.
damn
actually i dont want to cry, but dunno why tears keep drop.
:(

2 years

2016-10-01T02:11:00.001-07:00

congratulations!!

why?

i officially working in my current company 2 years liao !!

hahaha

honestly, this is my 4th job after graduate from UTAR...

omg, being so childish previously..

lucky now mature abit ..hahaha

i learn alot in this company

especially come to dealing with those sales..

different salesman, different pattern,

how to deal with them is really important,

i would take this as opportunity for learning,

this is the reason why i still working in this company and still counting...

besides, i got alot of holiday, hahahha..

follow all the public holiday and is 5 working days jek..

but salary so so..

thinking to do some online business actually...

will plan properly, bcause once i start i m not gonna give up easily,

i must successful..

but still some ohmmm...

坏习惯

2016-07-21T05:11:00.003-07:00

有个坏习惯真的要改掉。。。

其实我不应该要求每个人都和我一样。。。

每个人都有自己的想法，怎么可能都一样呢。。

我把每一件事都看得太重了。。

其实每个人都有不同的定义的。。

我不应该怪别人。。

我知道了。。。

我会提醒自己的。。。

在乎是一定要的，只是不需要看的太重

顺其自然就好。。

东西看的太重，就越容易伤心。。

知道了知道了。。。。

不会再重犯了。。。

who is the right one

2016-07-19T06:43:00.002-07:00

SINGLE?

i guess i am just too worried of getting hurt..
i dont think i can stand with this kind of feelings anymore..

i can still remember how hurt it is ....
how long it takes to recover..
how much tears i dropped bcause of this..

i m not going to repeat the same things again,
this is wat i told myself..
since then, i always put myself in a very "safe" place..
not going to hope, not even wants to try...
too much of expectation, that much of disappointment ...
there's an "emergency" button in my brain/heart i think..
whatever i feel that is not so right "it" will automatic stop...

not even started and it already ended..
i can still remember how hurt it is, but i have no idea why it can be that hurt..
i never thought the impact can be that strong until ...

my frens and colleagues used to asked me,
why not u try,u should take out ur first step, otherwise you will lost the person...
why not i try? i tried and i failed...
i should take out the first step? i did, and i failed..
otherwise you will lost the person? it still the same even i did the above..

only then, i figured out if the person really care about you and like you..
he will do the above...
if you ask, dont you worry that you will 错过 the right person..
i will answer not..
if one day i meet the one i like and i missed him because of this,
i will just say that he might not the right one...

sometimes i will still think that “will i still able to meet the one i really like in future?”

emo

2016-06-10T05:11:00.001-07:00

a very emo day...
haizzzzz....
i hate ah...

wat i hate the most is the person actually dunno wat i angry about..
damn it...
arhhh

dunno wat to say la...
wat also cannot say...

容忍度

2016-05-16T07:07:00.001-07:00

容忍度那么高要来做什么？
它除了让你什么东西都吞下肚子之外，还能为你带来什么？
你自以为那是好习惯，可以大事化小，其实别人只会当作“应分” 罢了。。。
你以为他会觉得你很好? 你很厉害?你很有教养？还是？
他只会踩你上罢了。。。
他只会觉得你好欺负罢了。。。
他并不会觉得你其实大事化小，他会觉得你没种，没胆，怕死！！。

其实你只是觉得，这忍一忍就过了。。。

improve English

2016-05-01T05:11:00.003-07:00

i attended another English Training last week,
the training was held at Vistana Hotel and presented by Carol Chiam.
She was a very experienced English trainer,
i really learnt alot from this training..
we made alot of mistakes in our daily communication especially when we were using email.

i really want to improve my English, i am lacking of confident to speak English..
in this 2016, i must improve my English..
about 35 weeks left to 2017..
so i want to:

read a English news every week
learn 70 new words
read 3 English books
watch more English movie to improve my listening

fighting...LOL