Witch Mom

Happy Birthday Cora Anderson!

2012-01-26T00:00:00.000-08:00

Today's post is an updated reprint from last year. Happy Birthday Cora. What is remembered, lives.

Victor and Cora

Today would have been Grandmaster Cora Anderson's 97th birthday, had she not passed on Beltaine four years ago.

She was an amazing, gracious woman who taught me quite a bit as I got to know her in her last year of life. I was beginning my training in the Faery Tradition when I heard the call that she needed frequent visitors. I went almost once a week for the last year of her life and got to know her. She generously shared stories with me about the Craft, her late husband Victor, other initiates in the tradition, and lore. She answered my many, many student questions with humor and folksy wisdom.

Her hospitality was legendary. While her husband could be somewhat of a hothead, she always insisted that anyone in their home (jerk or not) was shown hospitality and generosity. That did not stop her from having very pointed opinions about people however- and the Cora I knew loved to gossip about it later!

I also learned about grace under pressure from Cora. Her entire life she had been a strong, practical woman, supporting her family with hard labor and caring for her husband and son. After a series of strokes that left her mostly bedridden, she made due with life in her mind and on the astral. She would often talk about dreams visiting Victor and how she was sad to wake into the same hospital bed (at home). While her body had stopped working the way she wanted, she lived a full life in her final years- the way a powerful Witch should.

The Cora I knew- I took this photo.

She still had very particular ways she wanted things, and as a caregiver and visitor, I strived to do things the way she wanted- giving her the ability to arrange her world as she desired it, even if her body could not make her Will manifest anymore.

Cora's favorite food was pie. In the end, when she was unable to eat lots of foods, chocolate cream pie was still a favorite and I would bring her some from time to time.

Cora hosted Thanksgiving in her home for the Tradition, even after being bedridden. There were always several varieties of pie. At her funeral service, people brought dozens of varieties and people ate pie in her honor. The year after she died, my former Craft home in the Bay Area (Casa Vesperus) hosted a "Cora Pie Day" on her birthday.

Another pic of Cora and Victor.

I miss her very much. When I first started to visit her, I thought that I was doing her a favor. Our visits were awkward at first, since we did not know one another before her strokes. By the end, when I was visiting her in the hospital (the last time I saw her was April 30, 2008- the day before she died), we were friends and I knew I was going to miss her terribly. I do.

This Is Your Brain on TV

2012-01-24T00:00:00.000-08:00

What TV does to brain chemistry:

This is why I am so looking forward to having our own TV free space very soon. Rowan is being exposed to too much TV, in my opinion. He knows character names, asks for them, and when I tell him he's had enough "crack" for the day, he says, "More? More crack?"

Sometimes I come home when his grandparents have been watching him and they have been watching a violent movie or TV show. Rowan doesn't pay as much attention to those shows as he does to children;s programming, but who is to say he hasn't seen someone get shot? I am glad that he will not have that opportunity after we move for a long time.

A Bathroom Rug and Fiber Basket: Craft Success!

2012-01-23T00:00:00.000-08:00

Cutting up tees.

I completed the rug and fiber basket that I was making for my new bathroom (when we get our new place in Columbus). It matches our new fabric shower curtain and ceramic toothbrush holder I got from Etsy.

This was the most tedious part.

If you remember, I was creating these things really frugally, as my main material were old tee shirts no one wanted anymore (and were therefore free). These were stained, bleached, holey, and ill fitting and were in bad enough shape that I would not feel comfortable giving them to a thrift store to sell. What to do? Repurpose!

The backing, trimmed in purple
duck tape, with pattern
drawn on it.

I ended up spending about $15, which in the end will get me about three rugs (one latch hook, two crocheted) and a fiber basket. All I had to buy was a latch hook tool, a large plastic crochet hook, and the latch rug backing. Hooray for recycling!

Finished!

A close up.

I'm not gonna lie, the two crochet rugs are more rough looking (because they are made using small scraps of tee that are pieced together, rather than longer pieces of tee) to make into a continuous "yarn". I had scrap that I pieced together after I was done making the latch hook rug and figured, "Why not make throw rugs out of this?" They will be be perfect situated under my birds' cage to catch debris. I will take pics of those when I am done and show you those, too. But bird cage rugs don't have to be gorgeous- they have to be there to catch parrot poop. So I am pleased.

The basket.

The latch hook rug is gorgeous and awesome and ready for display (if only we had moved already!). It feels luxurious underfoot and will make an awesome bath mat. Rowan likes it too. It is being put away today, but everytime he saw me working on it he would say "Mommy rug- for NEW bathroom!".

Yesterday, I went to the craft store and got a few more items that I am going to need for projects I have planned. I got some good fabric scissors to take with me (I have been borrowing the ones you see here!), as well as some waste canvas- for folks that do not do needlework, this allows you to embroider a patch onto clothing of anything that you want- making your clothes colorful and unique as well as mended in one fell swoop!

Another view of the basket.

I got some silver sequin trim and the letter "K" (the sequin trim is going to deck out the K - our family's last name initial) and will then be put into a baroque style frame (updated by spray painting with contemporary colors). This will be a part of a wall display of pictures and other memories of our family, which will be above a beloved dead altar and house altar for the main living space.

(I prefer beloved dead altars in dining areas- so that food and water offerings to ancestors are a natural extension of what you are already doing- feeding the living.) We may also place the piano in the dining room (We have a piano!) and place pictures of our living and dead there as well. If you remember, my beloved dead altar is pretty large and intense.

What are you working on?

New 2012 Schedule for Witch Mom

2012-01-22T00:00:00.000-08:00

With a new life in Columbus comes a new rhythm for everything- including blogging! I have decided to make regular features on days of the week. This does not mean that there will be a blog post every day, but rather, if a blog post appears, it will have a certain theme because of the day.

Mondays are Natural Living Mondays!
A post on Monday will include sustainability, eco-conscious frugal living, natural parenting, DIY and reclamation, homesteading and putting things by, and much more!

Mondays will be part of a blog hop hosted by the Natural Parenting Group, of which I am a member (on the forum and among the writers of articles). So a Monday post would be part of this blog hop.

Wednesdays are Witchy Wednesdays!
This day will be dedicated to articles about Witchcraft theology, Craft work (divination, spellwork, oracular work, herbalism and green Witchery), gods and goddesses, devotional work, ancestor work, sabbats and esbats- and all things Witchy.

Fridays are Homeschooling Fridays! This is where I not only talk about Rowan and I learning together but also the multi-religious, multi-cultural, social justice focused curriculum that I am developing for my master's degree.

The other days of the week will have random and occasional posts including guest posts and interviews (including my upcoming series on pagans/polytheists/pantheists of color), blog carnival submissions including the Carnival of Natural Parenting, links to things I deem important, politics, events, and timely issues as they occur. Hope you enjoy!

Ask Me Anything: Holiday Storytelling

2012-01-20T00:00:00.000-08:00

In this semi-regular feature on Witch Mom, I answer select questions from readers. There is always a box to the right of my blog posts if you would also like to ask a question, or click here. It could be about The Craft, parenting, pop culture, multi-religious education, homeschooling, or whatever! I cannot promise to answer each one, but I will read them!

A reader asks: "Do you have any Yule or Holiday stories that you like to tell your son?"

Old Befana

My son loves books and grasps some stories pretty well, complicated concepts not so much yet. So far, in terms of educating my son on religion or ethics (or really anything other than colors, numbers, not hitting people, and the alphabet), we haven't gotten that far. Soon though- it will be very soon!

But are there stories that I plan on tell him? You bet! This time of year there are many holidays, and I want my son to learn about all of them. I am always looking for great children's books and stories to tell- and if you know of one for any of these holidays, please make a note in the comments.

For Chalikah, (this is a UU holiday that happens in early December) we will discuss the seven principles and how they apply to his life. what strikes me is how the seven UU principles are so parallel (in my mind) to the principles of Kwanzaa. He is going to be going to a UU church as a child and youth, and likely taking their OWL classes, too.

For Yule itself, we will talk about the rebirth of the sun as we stay up all night to watch it rise and give thanks. We will create stories that talk about equal parts day and night and how now the days will get a little longer each day. Since we will be homesteading and Rowan will be helping with that project and much of his schooling will start there, an agricultural calendar and story will take center stage. Here is a nice story we may adapt.

The Chalikah my Sunday School class made.

For Christmas (which most of his relatives celebrate, either religiously or secularly), we will be telling him about Jesus and how this is his birthday celebration. (The conversation about Yule appropriation, how Jesus was likely born in September, and Mithras will wait until he is older).

For Hannukah, I will tell the story of the Jews' miracle of the lamp oil lasting and how it corresponds to the number of candles. His best friend is Jewish and we celebrate Hannukah with them.

For Kwanzaa, we will celebrate this holiday in our home. I love the principles of Kwanzaa and want to instill them in my child. We will be getting a kinara and the correct colored candles.

For Twelfth Night Eve (what Christians re-appropriated and have renamed Epiphany Eve, January 5/January 6 morning), there is the legend of Old Befana. In Italy, it is she who delivers gifts to good girls and boys, flying through keyholes on her broom. Read more here about Befana and how she has been "Christianized".

What stories and themes do you tell your children over the winter holidays? Do you celebrate more than one holiday?

SOPA Blackout

2012-01-18T00:00:00.000-08:00

This post used to have code that blacked out my blog and urged readers to contact their Senators and Representatives to stop SOPA and PIPA. You can still do that here.

Saying Yes

2012-01-16T06:16:00.000-08:00

Ro at Bay Area Discovery Museum

As Rowan becomes more of an individuated person and less of a baby, I struggle with the line between keeping him safe and saying yes. Often as an adult with my own agenda and chores, it is easier to say no to my son for my own convenience as a default- and I do not want that to be the case. I need to stop and think before I respond to Rowan and ask myself, "Is this a no because it would be bad for him to do such a thing, or is this a no because it is inconvenient for me in the moment?"

Ro at the Cal Academy of Sciences.

While having my own time and space is important, when I decided to have a child, I also decided to put some of my own stuff aside to make space for another person and their needs. Sometimes, his needs trump mine and sometimes vice versa. But I have decided that if his needs are merely coming an inconvenient time, that is not necessarily enough of a reason to say no.

For example, if I am hungry and my adult agenda is to fix dinner in an efficient manner, and Rowan's kid agenda is to "help" me cook, instead of saying no, I will grab a cheese stick to allay my immediate hunger and instead say yes. I am working hard to become a "yes mama" and creating a culture of yes and can-do in my home. I want Rowan to grow into a self-sufficient, confident person and that only comes with experience. My job, I have decided, is to say yes whenever possible.

In the Pagan Playdate Suite, PantheaCon 2011

This concept is applying more and more as he grows. He is almost two (just two short weeks- how is that possible?) and is already working on "preschool" concepts like colors, shapes, the alphabet, and numbers and counting. I am trying to create a culture of yes while teaching him- and that means leaning towards an "unschooling" method. Yes, I have manipulatives and curricula, but I try and introduce it organically and make it a game. As soon as he tires of the game, we move onto something else. Learning should be fun and something he wants to do. And so far, he is leaps and bounds ahead of his same-age peers. It seems to be working!

My approach is affecting how I am designing my homeschool curricula (that I hope to publish in a year or so). While I am writing for families other than my own, I am trying to provide a framework loose enough for experimentation and activities diverse enough to entice many kinds of kids. My son is a great teacher!

Body Positive Images

2012-01-14T00:00:00.000-08:00

Fat phobia is rampant in society. While I hardly consider a size 12 (the model below is a 12) "fat"- this model is doing her part to promote size acceptance.

A size 6 is considered a "plus size model". Shame.

For more great writing on fat positivity and size acceptance, please read:

The Fat Trap, where scientists talk about the difference in sizes as a genetic variation within our species.

The Year of Living Fatly, whose sass makes me snort and laugh.

Projects for the New Home

2012-01-11T10:46:00.000-08:00

I am getting really excited, folks- because in a month or so my family is finally moving into our own space! This means our homesteading dreams are about to come true. Once we are settled, we will be looking for used beekeeping equipment, building a chicken coop and raised beds and much much more! We are looking at some homes on Friday and one in particular sounds like everything we want!

In my excitement, I have started many projects to embellish our new home. (Many of these I have pinned on Pinterest.)

What sort of projects am I doing?

Isn't this awesome?

Right now, I am doing a latch hook rug for our new bathroom- made from old tee shirts. Ecological and chic! I am having it match our new shower curtain and really cute toothbrush holder (that I got from Etsy).

I have to say, while the project is cheap (Half the tees were free (stained, bleached spots, ripped, holey), the other half were irregulars for a quarter a piece. The latch hook tool (I didn't have one) was $3 as was the latch hook backing. I am using the tees to latch as well as the parts that could not be made into latch strips to make a few other crocheted rugs as well. So for less than $10, I get many several handmade rugs. The main expense is time. The crochet rugs won't take as long, but that latch hook is taking hours!!!

This is what the non-latch tee shirt rugs
will be like.

I am doing some embroidery and cross stitch. I am embroidering tea towels for the kitchen- all kinds of designs and sayings! Like a true kitchen Witch, I have one that will say, "This is where the magic happens." Another will have chickens on it and say, "I dream of a better world when chickens can cross the road and not have their motives questioned." Still another will say, "The happiest people don't have the best of everything. They make the best of everything that they have." And of course, lots of doodle-y drawings of vegetables and such will be on my towels!

And Rowan will eventually get an amazing cross stitch in his room of Where The Wild Things Are. Remember that gorgeously illustrated book- on the page where Max declares "Let the wild rumpus start!"? That is the illustration I am cross stitching. It is mind-bendingly complicated, let me tell you- all that shading!

I am also making some wall art. I bought a small square canvas and am painting it a bright color, and having Rowan put his hand print on it in a contrasting color, kind of like Warhol-esque pop art. It will be displayed amongst pictures of the Boop on a wall. We have lots of Boop pics to frame!

And we inherited some hand-me-down furniture and things from Rowan's great-grandma- among them are two ugly plastic pictures of nobility in faux-rococo plastic frames. I am telling you- the pieces are bad enough- but they are 100% plastic! I am re-purposing them by taking them and spray painting them with a special spray paint made for plastic. One of these will frame our family initial, K.

Kind of like this.

The other will house a cross stitch that has already been completed. It has the Donnie Darko rabbit skull thingie and says, "Sometimes I Doubt Your Commitment to Sparkle Motion." Silly and fun!

We will have new (to us) furniture (we didn't take any furniture with us from California) and Rowan will finally get his own room! He has a new big boy bed to start experimenting with as well as a separate space for all his toys. (which mama is thrilled about- no more stepping on legos!)

We hope to find a great place with a fenced in back yard- and then Rowan can use his new tricycle back there. We also plan on building a sand box and water table for him when we get warmer weather.

Wish us luck for Friday!

Merry Twelfth Night, everyone!

2012-01-06T05:44:00.000-08:00

Here I am, being "Five Gold Rings"

Twelfth Night is a recently Christianized holiday that Christians call Epiphany. But its roots go back far longer than the birth of Christ. Saturnalia was the main influence for this fun holiday, where the world turns topsy-turvy: masters become servants, children boss adults around, and people cross-dress and have a grand old time.

In teaching Sunday school about this day at my local UU church, it was appropriate that the youth and kids performed the 12 Days of Christmas (another co-opted tradition- it was a pub drinking game played on Twelfth Night) and many of the teens cross dressed.

Getting that lipstick just right.

This holiday was co-opted by Christians seeking to get rid of those (super fun, in my opinion) insidious persistent and well-loved pagan celebrations- like Yule (lights, feasts, gift exchanges, and the Yule log) becoming Christmas, Samhain (the dead and other "spooky" subjects) becoming Halloween and Ostara (fertile rabbits and eggs) becoming Easter. Unlike the other holidays, many of the pagan traditions have not carried over to Twelfth Night, and I think that's a shame.

In a time honored pagan tradition, our
"maid a milking" feels up our
"lady dancing"!

I cannot remember what book it was, but I remember reading a Witchcraft book about a decade ago in which the author proposed that we include Twelfth Night as a ninth sabbat in the Wheel of the Year. After all, nine is a much more magical number than eight, and this holiday gets at the issue of difference, class, and society in a way that none of the others do. I have to say I agree with that author (can anyone here help me out so I can give credit where credit is due? Anyone remember the book or author?)

So, what's a Witch to do on this day? Invite folks over for a raucous party, of course! Bake a cake with a bean or token in it (I have a tiny Dionysos ceramic figure from Italy that is meant to be baked into cakes- I find it perfect!) and that person rules over the party and makes rules for everyone else! The Lord of Misrule is an English spin on this age-old Saturnalian tradition- a person is chosen at random and rules over the entire community for a day. The crazier the social order that they created, the better job that they did!

New Year's Resolutions

2012-01-04T00:00:00.000-08:00

Like many others, I tend to create goals for myself and work on them throughout the year. I often group these in 4 areas: school/career/life ambitions, personal goals, relationships, and logistics.

School/Career/Life Ambitions
This semester in school I start working on my actual graduate project, rather than just taking classes. My project is to write a homeschool curriculum for multiple age groups on social justice and people's history that teaches about the religions and cultures of the world. I intend on writing as much as I can (my goal is writing six-eight complete units this spring, complete with activities, reading lists, and field trip suggestions) as well as researching what homeschool formats tend to work for folks the best.

I will be finally moving to Columbus this semester and looking at two different UU churches to see if there is a place for me in the Religious education departments. I so enjoy teaching Sunday School!

My family is looking for a starter place and we hope to homestead, even though we will be renting. I will investigating locations, statutes (regarding gardens, chickens, and bees), and conditions of each place we look into. Since I will be staying home with Rowan and writing/taking classes- it will be up to me to create a homestead.

I will be writing and earning units from past semesters where I did not write up related work in churches, as well as writing more throughout the summer for credit, so that I can graduate sooner.

Personal Goals
Everyone says it, but my goal is to get in shape. Chasing a toddler is only getting harder! I thought that being out here in Ohio would allow me more time to exercise, but Rowan's toddlerhood has been far more demanding than I ever expected, keeping me from schoolwork and exercise and other personal goals when he is awake! I need to work to find co-op childcare or some other solution when I get up to Columbus to allow for these things to happen.

Relationships
My partner and I are still working out what it means to be a family, and what it means to be parents as well as partners (living and magical partners). My goal is to do this with compassion and grace, because lately it has been a struggle. This is the first time my partner has been employed for years and the first time I have ever been, essentially, a stay-at-home-mom. The roles are awkward and we have no script.

I get to stay at home with my son and watch him grow and develop. I am so blessed! We are working on all kinds of life skills and educational goals: learning names of his emotions, counting and numbers, the alphabet, full sentences rather than just nouns and verbs, and how to do certain life skills: this year we will start potty learning, more things around the house like chores and pet care, getting to bed on his own (in his own bed!), and getting dressed himself. He is such a little boy now, and not a baby anymore. It's amazing.

I am looking forward to cultivating all kinds of connections with new friends in Columbus- artsy, Crafty, spiritual, activist, and other parents. I look forward to laying down the foundations of tribe, cultivating a community for myself, and getting to know all the amazing people that I know live there. I plan on getting involved in the poetry slam again, as well as doing visual art and crafts. In addition to the UU church, I intend on checking out the Shambhala Center further, meeting other traditional Witches and other pagan folk, and doing interfaith activism in the Occupy movement.

Logistics
So much to plan for and do! Look for a place in a neighborhood that is central to transit, safe, has a play space for Rowan, allows us to get to a library and a park easily and has space for two adults, a child, two parrots, a temple, and is still affordable!

Look into homesteading rules, as well as laws about herbalism and manufacturing herbal remedies. I plan on resuming making tinctures, balms, and salves when I get settled in, and starting with medicinal mushrooms, since I can cultivate them anywhere, anytime.

Create a home. While that one looks the shortest, I will probably spend the most time doing this, as it give life to all other goals.

What are you planning for 2012?

Gender Agenda

2012-01-03T00:00:00.000-08:00

Piggy tails and a bright yellow shirt- complete with fairy and
butterflies. He's a pretty boy.

I've written a bit about gender and how we are raising Rowan before, but as he gets older and watches movies and meets other kids who are not necessarily raised the way he is, he is being exposed to the way that our overculture wants boys and girls (and men and women) to desire and behave.

Purple funfur vest, glittery leg warmers. Rowan calls it his
"spah-kul spah-kul". Oh yeah- and a basketball.

My son loves bright colors (including pink and purple), things that sparkle, and dolls. He also loves trucks, his firefighter and hard hat costumes, balls of all sorts, and legos. In short, he is a well-rounded small human being. I am not going to limit his toys, clothes, or friends to fit some societally-proscribed gender agenda.
There are many reasons why I don't approve of this ever-pervasive influence in Rowan's life: it polarizes gender into two distinct "opposite" camps when in reality, gender is not dualistic, nor are there "opposites". It creates expectations that are rigid and possibly harmful for both boys and girls (boys cannot cry or express emotions, girls need to become objectified to have value). It is not natural or normal, and I point to the constant media and corporate enculturation (who are constantly enforcing these expectations and ideas on us) as proof. If these things had a universal truth, they would not need lobbying efforts and constant reinforcement.

One of the unfortunate side-effects of this gender campaign is bullying. Kids pick up the rigid barriers that we adults have created and enforce it through verbal, physical, and emotional violence with each other. That link is one of the reasons why I hesitate to send Rowan to public school. I applaud the efforts of that courageous public school teacher. Hard work, that. I want my son's education to broaden his horizons, but often school does the exact opposite. I'd rather have him socialize with kids whose parents have an awareness of diversity of all sorts and will be cultivating relationships and connections that will help with socialization.

Recently, my sister sent me a link that delighted me- a child bucking the system! Gotta love it.

For those of you who think it might be easier to raise a boy than a girl in this culture (I used to believe that, too) I encourage you to watch this video.

What he mostly prefers to wear: nothing.

Raising a white (seemingly cissexual and heterosexual) male in this culture, one that wants him to dominate and minimize others is hard. Helping him retain his full humanity in the face of people calling him a "crybaby" for expressing his fears is maddening.

I look forward to possibly raising an amazing girl one day, but right now, raising a fully human boy is hard enough. My son will be free to express his gender, sexuality, and ideas in any way he chooses, and to have loving parents supporting his exploration and conscious choices all the way.

We, his parents, are encouraging all things that he expresses an interest in: right now that's music and dance, playing with balls, being outside, playing in water, coloring, tractors and trucks, and cooking. Wanna bet that little boys and little girls the world over his age share those interests?

Happy New Year!

2012-01-01T00:00:00.000-08:00

Happy Secular* New Year! My friends and peers have told me of so many New Years customs they celebrate- I had to share! Stay tuned for my New Year's resolutions later this week!

"I celebrate Hogmanay, the Scots New Year, so every year at this time I clean my house from top to bottom and chase out all the bad luck and negativity of the past year with my broom and herbs. You can't uncross yourself if you don't clean house first! Then I'll prepare a spiritual cleansing bath for myself after which I'll perform a purification ritual along with an uncrossing to open myself up to what the New Year has to offer (and get rid of any intentional or unintentional evil eye action). Then on New Year's Eve I'll fast and prepare a feast to eat after midnight. I will leave things on my altar I want to attract in the coming year - coins for prosperity, cards and gifts from my friends and family, food and drink for plenty, and so on. On the stroke of midnight I run around the house and open every window and door to welcome in the New Year." -Ms. Graveyard Dirt

"On New Year's Eve, we have a low key dinner party. Each person brings a tarot deck and selects a card to do a group reading for the coming year."- a Witch friend from the Bay Area who wishes to remain anonymous

"I eat black eyed peas on New Year's Day, to usher in prosperity for the year. Here's my recipe:

1lb black-eyes peas (some times called cowpeas or china peas)
water
one small onion
salt—a teaspoon or so
cayenne pepper (sometimes called red cocaine)—use lots!

(I have also seen recipes that call for ginger root or ginger root powder. Sounds delicious, I will try this next time.)

Wash peas thoroughly and let soak for one hour to overnight. When peas are plump, crush them with your hands to release the skins. Rinse the skins out; they will rise to the top. (This step will require repeating until most of the skins are rinsed away: patience may need to be evoked.)
Blend cleaned and hand-crushed peas with chopped onion, salt, and cayenne in a blender or Cuisinart to puree.
Place pureed mixture into a clean ceramic or glass bowl to ferment twenty-four hours.
Carefully drop the batter into hot peanut oil with a tablespoon. Turn once when the sides turn a little brown. Sprinkle with a little salt while still hot.

Enjoy this ancient ancestral food of the African people, the predecessor to the modern hush puppy. Let these cakes nourish you and your soul as well as the hearts and spirits of those with whom you share."- Mother Sister Daddy Queen

While I am fully aware of our current calendar is the Gregorian calendar, which is a Christian invention to get folks aware from the older, lunar (read: pagan) calendar- it is now the secular calendar we are all forced to use regardless of religious orientation.

Why I Am Not a Vegetarian or Vegan

2011-12-31T00:00:00.000-08:00

I was a vegetarian for eight years and a vegan for two. Once I started on the religious path that I am on now, I stopped and incorporated meat back into my diet. Why? After all, I know so many pagans who are vegetarians or vegans. They often talk about it as part of their religious practice. Why did my religious practice lead me in the exact opposite direction?

1. I believe that you should listen to your body. About a year into my studies in my tradition, I started craving meat. And not just any meat- red rare meat- the bloodier the better. I started having dreams of sacrificing animals myself... and that was very disturbing to this pacifist, former vegan. But it also made sense, in a non-verbal way. The dreams coincided with our ancient, ancestral, agricultural clock- aka The Wheel of the Year. I was killing the dying god and birthing him later- both acts covered in blood- the water of life. After performing acts of magic, I still crave the blood of life. Many others crave sugar and carbs. But for me, protein, specifically meat protein, is the way to go.

2. To me, the problem is not animal killing and eating itself. It is how animals are raised and slaughtered and consumed. We have removed the sacredness of their lives and deaths from how most of us eat- and this needs to be changed- for all our sakes. Small sustainable farms are a start. Hunting your own wild food is also good. Being truly thankful and knowing what it is you are consuming is also important.

3. And most importantly (from a theological perspective), I feel that all life is sacred, and I do not place animals' lives above plant lives- they are equal. I believe that we may not be able to communicate with them as easily, but plants have consciousness, too. I know- I have talked to them. Therefore, it becomes obvious to me that all people must kill (something) to survive and to live. I think it is perhaps comforting to many to kill plants instead, since we cannot hear or see their suffering when we kill them. But we are killing life just the same.

What is your opinion? What is your diet and how does your theology influence it?

"Pagan Community"

2011-12-26T00:00:00.000-08:00

Recently, I had an interaction that left me flabbergasted at the unspoken racist assumptions of some folks with whom I had hoped to have a closer relationship. What saddened me was that they used their pagan perspectives to justify their entitled (racist) perspectives. When I brought up (what seemed to me to be) the elephant in the room, I was the bad guy. It left me uncomfortable, sad, and angry.

I know several of my friends have told me of their experiences as outsiders in communities in which they supposedly belong. I have felt that way myself at times (haven't we all)? But if we continue systemic, unchecked assumptions about others we never get the chance to improve as people.

In 2012, Witch Mom will be featuring perspectives from folks who feel like outsiders in the greater pagan/polytheist/pantheist communities. This includes but is not limited to people of color, people in non-Wiccan traditions, queers, and more.

If you think this includes you, I would love to hear from you. Please shoot an email to lillitushahar (at) gmail (dot) com.

Happy Holidays!

2011-12-25T00:00:00.000-08:00

Hope everyone had a blessed Yule and Solstice.

Happy Christmas to all my Christian readers.

Happy fifth night of Hannukah to all my Jewish readers.

Happy Kwanzaa (starting tomorrow!) to all my readers who celebrate that holiday.

Blessed be the dark and returning of the light.

I'll be back in 2012 with even more Craft, natural parenting, and homeschooling blog posts (and a lot more!)

Watching My Son Grow: Into Everything!

2011-12-19T14:30:00.000-08:00

Checking out his selection of snacks.

I have watched my son grow from a tentative baby into a gregarious toddler, and now he's into everything! Rather than hinder his natural curiosity, I am encouraging his exploration. He is learning all about the natural world, our human activities, and gaining all kinds of life skills and knowledge.

Our latest fun adventure is "helping" around the house. Rowan loves the vacuum, and calls it a "monster". (Hos grandparents are actually getting him a real vacuum, albeit a small lightweight one, for the holidays!) He wants to assist every time it is rolled out and is sad to see it leave and "sleep" in the closet. He also wants to help cook, which was a problem until recently!

"Helping" to make cookies.

I found a great blueprint online for a "helping tower". This is basically an adjustable step-stool with rails around it for safety. It gets my son up to counter height, so he can "help" me cook and bake. (Anyone with a cooking toddler knows that "help" is in quotation marks for a reason. If you want your toddler involved, give yourself an extra half hour, at least to finish any project, and prepare the room and the toddler for mess making. We usually strip the boy down to his diaper, pull his hair back in a ponytail, and clear away anything fragile, like the coffee maker on the counter when he "helps".)

This helping tower is awesome!

I am lucky enough to have Rowan's grandfather, who is a whiz with wood and has his own workshop with every power tool imaginable. He spent a day making this tower from leftover poplar he had lying aorund. Once we brought it in the house, Rowan took to it immediately. He loves his "towuh" and tries to drag it across the kitchen floor to the counter every day now to participate.

When we were in the hardware store, I asked Rowan to pick a color for the tower from the paint samples, and he (finally!) picked an orange sherbet color. So that's what color the tower has become. Mama spent time in the basement painting it and when the new and improved tower was brought back up, Rowan exclaimed, "Tower! Paintin'!" I think that means he likes it.

One recent adventure was making daddy's birthday cheesecake. As Rowan licked the beaters clean, he kept murmuring, "Happy Biwfday!" Could he get any cuter, seriously? Tonight, Rowan got to help make Chicken Marsala, and tested the texture and taste of flour. I am so excited he gets to explore like this from a young age.

How do you let your kids "help"?

This post is part of the Monday blog hop at the Natural Parenting Group, a site which I am a member!

Amazing Video on the Benefits of Skin-to-Skin Contact

2011-12-18T00:00:00.000-08:00

I am a firm believer in natural parenting and skin-to-skin contact is key immediately after birth. This video is amazing and takes what "kangaroo care" can do to a whole new level. This Australian mother brings her premature son back from the dead with loving kindness and skin-to-skin contact.

Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

Lessons from the Plat

2011-12-14T00:00:00.000-08:00

Because things are very slow here in Appalachia, I have been using my extra time to be crafty- and one of the things that I have taken up again is embroidery. When searching for patterns on Etsy, I came across a listing for a Russian plat.

This is the "7 powers" design.

For those of you unfamiliar with Russian folk magic, a plat is a ceremonial towel- only used for ritual purposes- never as an ordinary towel (those are called roushniks). It is lovingly hand embroidered with specific patterns for specific purposes. They are talismans, to be specific. Plat patterns were passed orally from generation to generation, like most traditional Witchcraft tools and spells. The pattern on the plat I found was for the "seven basic powers" to bless the bearer, which is a great all-around plat to use in all kinds of work. (The seven basic powers roughly translate to the elements used in other magical systems: fire, earth, air, water, spirit, with the addition of intelligence and matter in the Russian system.)

I was excited to learn first hand about this Craft, so I went ahead and got the kit. Embroidering (or any specifically magical Craft) has many magical things to teach someone who is willing to listen. The pattern itself was a mind bending jumble of numbers. As I worked the pattern, I found that it instructed me about how the world is set up- by mathematical principles. Plat patterns only use ones, threes, fives and sevens (which are all very magical numbers that mean specific things) in their stitch and skip counts. A geometrical pattern emerges that creates symbols that invoke specific principles and powers. Math has always been at the foundation of all magical systems, but as someone who only does math when required (groan!), I never really appreciated its beauty before. That has changed.

This is what it looks like reversed.

In the pattern that I made, the stitches create X-like crosses that, in turn, crossed diamonds. These are ancient agricultural symbols of a grain field impregnated by the sun's energy (or the elements of fire and earth). Water is represented by the zig zag pattern above and below the diamonds. Air and Spirit are demonstrated by the white in the design, and Matter is shown by the use of red thread. The pattern shows Intelligence by the horned diamonds- they show basic construction, like a house.

I found myself frustrated in the beginning of the project, constantly referring to the pattern and groaning when I discovered that I missed a stitch and had to re-do a row. As I progressed, the pattern became more a part of me, and I intuitively knew what stitch came next- to complete the pattern. It felt as if the elements were coming home to rest in my little plat. And that is what I wanted, a true talisman of the elements, allowing me to use the towel in accordance with nature and the Flow.

For more information on Russian folk magic embroidery, check out Traditional Russian Costume.

Booper Quotes

2011-12-12T00:00:00.000-08:00

Lately, since Rowan has been working on developing sentences and syntax, he comes up with all kinds of precious gems. Here are a few!

Me to partner (who is stringing up lights in the yard): "Are you gonna do a Maypole Dance around that tree with the lights?"
Rowan (who is watching): "Maple Pants?"

At the local petting zoo, upon viewing a pig: "Money, mommy?" (He thinks all pigs eat coins, like his piggy bank at home. He loves to feed the animals and watch them eat.)

We are not teaching Rowan about Santa Claus*. Because that guy is everywhere these days, he sees inflatables, pictures, statues and such and like any toddler, wants to know what it is. So we told him his name: Nick. Nick, we explained, is an old guy that is famous this time of year. You should see the strange stares we get at the mall when our son points and yells, "Nick! The Old Guy!"

Booper is learning to count, although depending on how tired he is, he may not get his numbers in order. Last night, while climbing the stairs to go to bed, he counted, "One, Free, Six".

Got a cute toddler story to share (new or old) please do in the comments!

*We believe it is better for our son to learn that the people he loves are getting him gifts and he in turn is recognizing the people he loves with gifts in turn. While it is a cute tradition in the USA, I am not going to lie to my son about Santa Claus or the tooth fairy. Anybody with me on this one?

Witchcraft DIY

2011-12-10T00:00:00.000-08:00

I have numerous boards on Pinterest- many boards on homeschool curricula, crafting, and DIY (separated into different boards based on subject) but one that I think is original and unique is my Witchcraft DIY board. On it, I "pin" interesting skills and crafts that come in handy in ritual, for spells, and more.

What kinds of projects? Here are some examples from my Witchcraft DIY board:

How to make floral garlands

Mead making 101

How to build an herb spiral

Making a box from an orange peel: perfect for spells that you bury.

Lughnasadh wreaths

Elderflower Sun Cordial recipe

Carving skulls from butternut squash

Great way to make cords.

Pinterest is a unique way of filing things- in addition to this photo, all of these crafts, tricks, tips, recipes, and such are linked to tutorial- so everyone can take part! If you are on Pinterest, be sure to follow me- I update my boards weekly.

Watching My Son Grow: Our Progress and Plans

2011-12-08T00:00:00.000-08:00

Helping mama bake cookies for Sunday School.

Rowan is closing in on two years old- I cannot believe it! He has grown and developed at such breakneck speed that this mama is gasping to catch her breath. Before my very eyes, Rowan has become a little boy and less of a baby. He is stringing together sentences, he knows his colors, he can count to eight, and is learning the names of letters. He surprises me every day with a new word or concept that he has picked up. He remembers EVERYTHING.

In his current home, he has watched a little too much TV for my liking (a consequence of living in a home that is not your own and having a TV in the majority of the downstairs rooms), and now knows the names of TV characters like Elmo (from Sesame Street), Muno and Plex (from Yo Gabba Gabba), and "Backpack" (which is the character from that show that he likes better than Dora the Explorer!). I am looking forward to a TV free existence soon. While my son has a great imagination and loves books, I don't like how he stops what he is doing at times to stare at the screen at times. Eventually, that viewing will turn into crass commercialism, something I wish to avoid. So soon (thankfully!) we will be back to our selective-viewing-on-a-laptop kind of life.

Nanny giving Ro a bath.

He has had the good fortune of living with his "Nanny and Pap Pap" for a few months, and has developed quite a close relationship with each of them. We will be moving in February into our own place, but expect that they will visit quite often. I am a firm believer in tribe and extended family. In our new place, we will soon be living with close friends who also have a toddler (Rowan's best friend, who is a week younger than he is- we all met in birth class). We are all relocating from the Bay Area to Columbus- a long trek and one that was designed with the kids in mind.

Columbus has amazing parks, libraries, museums, a zoo, and much more. The cost of living is easier here than the Bay, which means stability and opportunity to homeschool the way that I want- with music and dance lessons, martial arts, and art in Rowan's life. I anticipate using our homesteading efforts to help school him in math, life skills, reading, and science. Regular outings will supplement our lessons, and classes will give him focused skill sets.

Trick or Treating for the first time.

As a child I was reading at age three, and I anticipate that Rowan will read early as well. He loves books, remembers what is on each page already, and is interested in letters now. Ohio's homeschool laws ask for more documentation than California, but I don't expect that to be a problem for us. When he reaches school age, I need to give a principal our curriculum for the year and have them sign off on it. I am using my master's degree to develop a curricula on religion, social justice, and the world's cultures. I am also accumulating help on the main school subjects (math, science, reading, social studies) on my Pinterest boards. Feel free to subscribe!

Happy Krampusnacht!

2011-12-06T05:06:00.001-08:00

Happy Krampusnacht, everyone!

Witch Mom Raves: BIG Kids Magazine

2011-12-01T08:02:00.000-08:00

I read a lot of blogs: pagan blogs, blogs by marginalized voices, political blogs, artist blogs, and mommy blogs. The mommy blogs that I read tend to be folks who practice attachment or natural parenting styles and I often discover neat new stores that have natural items for Rowan on them. I tend to follow the various links and see what I find. On one such blog, I found a link to a new magazine for kids out of Australia called BIG. (BIG stands for Bravery, Imagination, and Generosity) It is an unusual magazine in that it is child driven, and the adults (who are all artists) who help to publish it guide the kids do the writing and artwork.

I was excited to see how the magazine accomplished such a lofty goal. The magazine industry is a hard one to make work, especially in the long run. Heck, print in general! So when I got my review copy, I was seriously impressed! This is as high a quality magazine as many of the other art magazines out there: on thick stock, a matte finish, with a great fresh layout. It's also an envronmentally friendly magazine, with vegetable based ink and recycled, chlorine-free paper stock.

There is painting, drawing, poetry, writing and interviews, all done by kids. From the magazine:
BIG stands for Bravery, Imagination, and Generosity. BIG is committed to partnering organisations that protect, support, and enrich the lives of children. BIG prioritises inclusion and encourages the growth of compassionate and tolerant communities. BIG challenges hierarchies of who is listening and who is speaking, and amplifies small voices in big ways. BIG is a poetic and tangible place of ongoing discovery. Read their manifesto!

I especially love the side-by-side interview feature- one is called Big People Grown (an interview of an adult) and the other facing page is called Big People Growing (an interview of a kid). The interviews of adults are of artists, performers, and scientists- in other words, inspiration for the growing people reading the magazine.

Kids contribute black and white pictures that serve as coloring pages for other kids. And one lucky artist gets a loose print in the magazine, suitable for framing. Can you imagine how awesome it would be to be a contributing kid artist and be selected for such an honor? I mean, when you get hung on the fridge its a big deal- but having your work distributed to thousands of others in a print magazine? Wow.

Rowan is a little young for this magazine now (being less than 2) but you can bet I will be subscribing when he gets older! It's expensive, but not only are you paying to support a worthy project that inspires kids (including your own), but your subscription includes donating copies to those who cannot afford one. I think $35 (Australia), $49 (Asia Pacific) and $59 (the rest of the world) is a fair price for a such a great project.

Ask Me Anything: Gossip and Malicious Speech

2011-11-29T00:00:00.000-08:00

In this semi-regular feature on Witch Mom, I answer select questions from readers. There is always a box to the right of my blog posts if you would also like to ask a question, or click here. It could be about The Craft, parenting, pop culture, multi-religious education, homeschooling, or whatever! I cannot promise to answer each one, but I will read them!

A reader asks: "Lily, can you share something--a perspective, prayer, survival tips--on how to deal/see gossip-mongers and malicious people? THANKS."

For previous related posts on this subject, check out "Pagan Values Month", Kalama Sutta, and Extremism Worldwide. Both posts have related thoughts (but are not addressing this issue head on).

We have all had to deal with negative, judgmental people in our lives. Some folks are just not happy with anything that others do, while others have no empathy for people with other life experiences and the values formed from them. It makes interacting with these folks more of an endurance test than a pleasure. I find my limits get strained by these types much more than my own toddler- who is quite adept at testing limits!

Long ago, one of my teachers gave me this tip (unsure of the original source of this quote, so if you know, leave the credit in the comments): "What other people think of you is none of your business." At first, I was aghast. I mean, I am a person who values community- and to me, gossip (when it is done correctly) has an important function in a tribal society. It reinforces tribal mores and holds people accountable for their actions. In tribal cultures, gossipers are held just as accountable as those being talked about. But I was forgetting something: most of us do not live in anything like a tribal culture, at least not 24/7. And that makes gossip more like a virus- something that spreads like wildfire, it's hard to find the original source, and you cannot hold a virus accountable.

Not related to the post, just funny!

This is the best survival tip I can think of: stop caring what others think of you. If you do your work to be a discerning, ethical person and then walk your talk- it doesn't matter if people approve of you or not. Self love will save you from feeling bad when others disapprove. I am not saying that this is easy- especially when those casting shade your way are family or people you consider friends. I have lost fair-weather friends as well as family members because they are so critical, or get angry when they cannot control my words and actions. So be it. Life is too short to not live YOUR life to its fullest. You must follow your calling(s) and those that are truly kin (whether by blood or not) will find you and support you in your path.

Chances are, if you live your path unencumbered by others expectations, you will become a shining beacon, drawing others who are your actual kin to you. This has happened to me, so I can attest that this is no mere speculation.

As a last resort: If you are dealing with people that are messy and harm lots of others with their words and deeds as a matter of habit, I am not the type of Witch that is against binding someone. It can be a useful tool in a Witch's arsenal. Some people these days seem to be against using Witchcraft to harm or restrain others, but that is not my idea of Witchcraft at all. I am not personally bound by a Wiccan rede, as I believe if you cannot hex, you cannot heal. However, you should know that binding a person makes them attached to you in a way that may be uncomfortable for the long term. Choose this strategy carefully, as it makes the person less likely to harm, but binds them TO YOU, the Witch, in a way as well. If you choose this route, you need to be okay with the fact that in their struggles to harm others as before you will need to protect yourself from them even more than before. It is a skill that takes practice and you need to be ready to release the binding when the time comes for everyone's sake.

Ask Me Anything! You can ask me a question and I will answer- if it is a long answer, I will blog it. Past blog posts inspired by readers have included divine possession, ghosts, and astral projection! Just keep the question short- the application that I use cuts off wordy inquiries from time to time. Or you can make suggestions for a blog post. What do you want to see me write about?