Wedding Planning

So much has happened!

2011-05-08T10:15:00.000-04:00

So much has happened since the last time I wrote. We bought our house, moved in, and had my bridal shower. There was so much going on all the time that I had forgotten to write about it! I guess that is what happens with life! Can't plan too much as Life does what it wants!

So my shower was wonderful! I got to see so many people that I love and care about. I was so happy and thankful for everyone coming out that day to see me. I brought home some AMAZING gifts, and although I do not have a lot of space in the kitchen to store things, miraculously everything fit into one cabinet or another. That is not to say that is where those items will permanently be, but for now, everything is put away!

So the home buying process was fantastic. It was great signing the papers and finally getting the keys to our new home. We have done a few things to the home already. Mostly just washing walls and painting. We are working on our main living room first. We painted the ceiling and the walls and are putting up replacement molding above the wainscoting as the previous owners had dogs who clearly were part beaver! Once that is done we'll move our new couch and TV into the room to start making it our living room. We are trying to work on one room at a time. It seems to be a good approach but I wish it was happening faster! I wish I was the Geanie and I could cross my arms and nod my head/blink and the house would be done to perfection! Oh what a dream!

We bought a new fridge, washer, dryer, dining room table, and couch for the house so far. Also tools and a ride-on mower for Steve with a trailer. Seeing as how we have tons of house manure on the side yard, we need a trailer to move it! Good thing it does not stink!

Well. Not sure what the plan is for today. Maybe more painting or maybe a day of lounging around. We'll see what Life has to say about that!

Hair and Makeup!!

2011-04-04T19:11:00.000-04:00

I am sooooooo excited. I went for my hair and make-up trial this past Saturday. It began at 12:45pm and ended around 2. She did not use any product in my hair and it was a "rough" trial. We did not use anything but a hair tie and bobby pins, which was nice to know. I was so excited with how it turned out.

I had told her that I really wanted something low and to the left. I am not sure why I want it there, but I just feel like that is where it is supposed to be and what would look best with my dress, so we went with it!

So... I had purposely planned to get my hair and makeup trial done this past weekend because Steve was not going to be able to come to the Vineyard for my brother, Aaron's wedding, and I didn't want him to see it. Well, Steve decided to surprise me by coming down for the night and staying through until Saturday afternoon; which meant he had to take me to my appointment. I was a little nervous about him seeing me all gussied up, but he won't remember, so that helped me get through it!

So a girl I went to high school with is doing my hair, Liz. I was never close with her in high school, not even sure if we ever spoke in high school now that I think of it. Anyway, she works at the salon my friend Diana (also my MOH) works at, so I figured I would go there. Let me say I am soooo glad that I did, because I loved it!

So, Steve came in when I was getting my make-up done. I am not one to wear a lot of make-up, so getting it done was slightly strange to me. I really wanted to make sure that my make-up was subtle and not over the top. I really like browns and golds and was so happy when those were the colors her brush headed towards. I have to say that when I looked in the mirror when she was done I was pleasantly surprised, and Steve told me that I was as" pretty as a princess." I just could not wait for our wedding day to come around when he told me that!

So when we got home I asked Steve to take pictures of it all for me. The first round of photoes I was smiling and happy because I thought he was taking pictures.... He wasn't! He thought he would be funny by taking a close up picture of my eyes, each of my ears, and a single curl. When he showed me the photos I ran out of the room crying. I was sooo pissed. I just wanted normal pictures and he couldn't do it right. So when he actually took the photos, I am not smiling at all. I was still pissed that I had to have the pictures taken again. So that is why I look like I want to claw his eyes out with the side shots!!

See what I mean about clawing his eyes out?!!! I was MAD! :)

LOVE LOVE LOVE!!!

About 3/4 around there was a slight smile :-)

It will clearly be neater at the wedding, but for a rough trial, I think it looked fabulous!

So I was still mad, but not as much as before... see the slight cocky smile! I love that I look like me, but only nicer!

Very subtle but still me underneath the makeup.

Again, all the wispies will be gone for the wedding, but you get the idea!

I just love it!

So serious! But when I smile one eye opens bigger than the other and it drives me nuts! So no smile makes even eyes!

Wedding Superstitions

2011-03-26T09:27:00.002-04:00

I have been thinking about wedding superstitions lately, as I was listing my something old, something new, etc. What are some wedding superstitions or some of you may call them "traditions" that you are doing at your wedding? I was looking on Google and found a list from The Knot of 50 wedding superstitions. Any of them relate to you? If so which ones?

Good Luck and Bad Luck

1. Hey, brides, tuck a sugar cube into your glove -- according to Greek culture, the sugar will sweeten your union.
2. The English believe a spider found in a wedding dress means good luck. Yikes!
3. In English tradition, Wednesday is considered the "best day" to marry, although Monday is for wealth and Tuesday is for health.
4. The groom carries the bride across the threshold to bravely protect her from evil spirits lurking below.
5. Saturday is the unluckiest wedding day, according to English folklore. Funny -- it's the most popular day of the week to marry!
6. Ancient Romans studied pig entrails to determine the luckiest time to marry.
7. Rain on your wedding day is actually considered good luck, according to Hindu tradition!
8. For good luck, Egyptian women pinch the bride on her wedding day. Ouch!
9. Middle Eastern brides paint henna on their hands and feet to protect themselves from the evil eye. Find out about Muslim wedding rituals.
10. Peas are thrown at Czech newlyweds instead of rice.
11. A Swedish bride puts a silver coin from her father and a gold coin from her mother in each shoe to ensure that she'll never do without. Learn more about Swedish wedding traditions.
12. A Finnish bride traditionally went door-to-door collecting gifts in a pillowcase, accompanied by an older married man who represented long marriage.
13. Moroccan women take a milk bath to purify themselves before their wedding ceremony. See more Moroccan wedding customs.
14. In Holland, a pine tree is planted outside the newlyweds' home as a symbol of fertility and luck.

It's Got a Ring To It

15. Engagement and wedding rings are worn on the fourth finger of the left hand because it was once thought that a vein in that finger led directly to the heart.
16. About 70% of all brides sport the traditional diamond on the fourth finger of their left hand.
17. Priscilla Presley's engagement ring was a whopping 3 1/2-carat rock surrounded by a detachable row of smaller diamonds.
18. Diamonds set in gold or silver became popular as betrothal rings among wealthy Venetians toward the end of the fifteenth century.
19. In the symbolic language of jewels, a sapphire in a wedding ring means marital happiness.
20. A pearl engagement ring is said to be bad luck because its shape echoes that of a tear.
21. One of history's earliest engagement rings was given to Princess Mary, daughter of Henry VIII. She was two years old at the time.
22. Seventeen tons of gold are made into wedding rings each year in the United States!
23. Snake rings dotted with ruby eyes were popular wedding bands in Victorian England -- the coils winding into a circle symbolized eternity.
24. Aquamarine represents marital harmony and is said to ensure a long, happy marriage.

Fashionable Lore

25. Queen Victoria started the Western world's white wedding dress trend in 1840 -- before then, brides simply wore their best dress.
26. In Asia, wearing robes with embroidered cranes symbolizes fidelity for the length of a marriage.
27. Ancient Greeks and Romans thought the veil protected the bride from evil spirits. Brides have worn veils ever since.
28. On her wedding day, Grace Kelly wore a dress with a bodice made from beautiful 125-year-old lace.
29. Of course, Jackie Kennedy's bridesmaids were far from frumpy. She chose pink silk faille and red satin gowns created by African-American designer Ann Lowe (also the creator of Jackie's dress).
30. In Japan, white was always the color of choice for bridal ensembles -- long before Queen Victoria popularized it in the Western world.
31. Most expensive wedding ever? The marriage of Sheik Rashid Bin Saeed Al Maktoum's son to Princess Salama in Dubai in May 1981. The price tag? $44 million.
32. In Korea, brides don bright hues of red and yellow to take their vows.
33. Brides carry or wear "something old" on their wedding day to symbolize continuity with the past.
34. In Denmark, brides and grooms traditionally cross-dressed to confuse evil spirits!
35. The "something blue" in a bridal ensemble symbolizes purity, fidelity, and love.

Food and Family

36. In Egypt, the bride's family traditionally does all the cooking for a week after the wedding, so the couple can…relax.
37. In South Africa, the parents of both bride and groom traditionally carried fire from their hearths to light a new fire in the newlyweds' hearth.
38. The tradition of a wedding cake comes from ancient Rome, where revelers broke a loaf of bread over a bride's head for fertility's sake.
39. The custom of tiered cakes emerged from a game where the bride and groom attempted to kiss over an ever-higher cake without knocking it over.
40. Queen Victoria's wedding cake weighed a whopping 300 pounds.
41. Legend says single women will dream of their future husbands if they sleep with a slice of groom's cake under their pillows.
42. An old wives' tale: If the younger of two sisters marries first, the older sister must dance barefoot at the wedding or risk never landing a husband.

Show Off at a Cocktail Party

43. In many cultures around the world -- including Celtic, Hindu and Egyptian weddings -- the hands of a bride and groom are literally tied together to demonstrate the couple's commitment to each other and their new bond as a married couple (giving us the popular phrase "tying the knot").
44. The Roman goddess Juno rules over marriage, the hearth, and childbirth, hence the popularity of June weddings.
45. Princess Victoria established the tradition of playing Wagner's "Bridal Chorus" during her wedding processional in 1858.
46. The bride stands to the groom's left during a Christian ceremony, because in bygone days the groom needed his right hand free to fight off other suitors.
47. On average, 7,000 couples marry each day in the United States.
48. Valentine's Day and New Year's Eve are the two busiest "marriage" days in Las Vegas -- elopement central!
49. The Catholic tradition of "posting the banns" to announce a marriage originated as a way to ensure the bride and groom were not related.
50. Stag parties were first held by ancient Spartan soldiers, who kissed their bachelor days goodbye with a raucous party.

http://www.squidoo.com/wedding_traditions#module13113594

Good Luck~
On The Way to The Ceremony..
~ It is good luck for the bride to encounter a Lamb on her way to the church to get married.

~ It is good luck for the bride to encounter a Dove on her way to the church to get married; because Doves mate for live. A Dove symbolizes Love, peace, fidelity, prosperity and good luck. If a Dove is seen on your wedding day, a happy home is assured.

~ It is good luck for the bride to encounter a Frog on her way to the church to get married.

~ It is good luck for the bride to cross paths with a Black Cat on her way to the church to get married.

~ It is good fortune for the bride to see a policeman, clergyman, doctor or blind man on her way to the church.

~ If the bride sees a Rainbow on her way to the ceremony, it is a sign of good luck for the couple.

~ Sunshine on the way to the church is good luck.

~ Your marriage will be filled with good fortune if the groom happens upon a Pigeon, Wolf or Goat, on his way to the ceremony.

~ The groom should give a ~ Coin to the first person he sees on his way to the church for good luck.

The Wedding Day
~ It is the best of luck omen for the bride to find a Spider in her gown on her wedding day. (ick)

~ Tears from the bride or a child during the wedding service is considered lucky.

~ Snow on your wedding day is a sign of fertility and prosperity.

~ If you marry during the Full Moon, you will have good luck and good fortune.

~ An Open Umbrella (in Chinese culture, the umbrella is red) over the bride will protect her from evil.

~ Bad Luck
~ It is bad luck for the bride to meet up with a Lizard, Funeral Procession or a Pig on her way to the church.

~ It is bad luck for a man to encounter a Blind Person, Pregnant Woman, a Monk, or a Nun on his way to propose.

Loud Noises and Decorating the Car

Scares Away Evil Spirits

Traditionally, a variety of noisy tin cans or old shoes were tied to the back of the couple's carriage to scare away evil spirits.

~ Excessive noise such as bells, horns, cheers, and fireworks were also sounded to keep the evil spirits away.

~ Loyal friends of the couple would often play pranks on the newlyweds in the hope that any lurking evil spirits would leave the couple alone, since the couple had already been picked on.

"Something Old, Something New, Something Borrowed, Something Blue, and a Sixpence in your Shoe".

This rhyme originated during Victorian times and is still commonly practiced for good luck.

Something Old
~ Traditionally, the "old" would have been the garter of a happily married woman, with the thought being that her good fortune would be passed down along with it.

~ The "old" also signifies the hope that the couple's friends will stay with them.

~ The "old" also symbolizes the bride's connection to her past - a sense of family, continuity and tradition.

Something New
~ Optimism and Hope for the future.

Something Borrowed
~ "Something "borrowed" is usually a much valued item from the bride's family or a dear friend.

~ Something "borrowed" also reminds the bride that family and friends will always be there for her.

~ If you "borrow" something from a happily married friend or family member it is a wish for your married life to mirror their happiness (So Choose Carefully!).

* Just remember - The borrowed item must be returned to ensure good fortune.

Something Blue
~ The Color Blue represents faithfulness, fidelity and constancy. It is also considered a lucky color in Ireland.

~ In early Biblical times, blue not white symbolized purity. Both the bride and groom usually wore a band of blue material around the bottom of their wedding attire, hence the wedding tradition of "something blue".

A Sixpence in Your Shoe
~ A sixpence is a symbol of good luck. (Can Be Substituted With A Dime)

~ A silver sixpence in the bride's shoe is to ensure wealth in the couple's life.

~ It also symbolizes the promise of a lifetime of joy, good health, happiness, and wedded bliss for the newlyweds.

~ In 17th century England, the sixpence was part of the bride's dowry gift to the groom.

The following information are lifted from www.weddings.co.uk

PROPOSAL

In the past when the marriage proposal was a more formal procedure, the prospective groom sent his friends or members of his family to represent his interests to the prospective bride and her family. If they saw a blind man, a monk or a pregnant woman during their journey it was thought that the marriage would be doomed if they continued their journey as these sights were thought to be bad omens.

If, however, they saw nanny goats, pigeons or wolves these were good omens which would bring good fortune to the marriage.

SURNAMES

It was thought unlucky for a woman to marry a man whose surname began with the same letter as hers. The sentiment was summarised in the following rhyme:

To change the name and not the letter

Is to change for the worst and not the better

The bride should not practice writing her new name before the wedding. This is thought to bring bad luck by tempting fate.

CHOOSING THE DAY

Although most weddings now take place on a Saturday it was considered unlucky in the past. Fridays were also considered unlucky particularly Friday the 13th. The famous old rhyme advises a wedding in the first half of the week:

Monday for wealth

Tuesday for health

Wednesday the best day of all

Thursday for losses

Friday for crosses

Saturday for no luck at all

Advice on which month to marry in is given by the following rhyme:

Married when the year is new, he'll be loving, kind and true.

When February birds do mate, You wed nor dread your fate.

If you wed when March winds blow, joy and sorrow both you'll know.

Marry in April when you can, Joy for Maiden and for Man.

Marry in the month of May, and you'll surely rue the day.

Marry when June roses grow, over land and sea you'll go.

Those who in July do wed, must labour for their daily bred.

Whoever wed in August be, many a change is sure to see

Marry in September's shrine, your living will be rich and fine.

If in October you do marry, love will come but riches tarry.

If you wed in bleak November, only joys will come, remember.

When December snows fall fast, marry and true love will last.

Marry in May and you'll live to rue the day

May has been considered an unlucky month to marry in for a number of reasons. In Pagan times the start of summer was when the festival of Beltane was celebrated with outdoor orgies (what?). This was therefore thought to be an unsuitable time to start married life. In Roman times the Feast of the Dead and the festival of the goddess of chastity both occurred in May. The advice was taken more seriously in Victorian times than it is today. In most Churches the end of April was a busy time for weddings as couples wanted to avoid being married in May. Queen Victoria is thought to have forbidden her children from marrying in May.

Marry in Lent, live to repent

Lent was thought an inappropriate time for a wedding as this was a time of abstinence.

June was considered to be a lucky month to marry in because it is named after Juno, the Roman goddess of love and marriage.

The Summer as a whole was considered a good time to marry and this is partly to do with the sun's association with fertility. In Scotland one popular custom was for the bride to "walk with the sun" to bring her good. She would walk from east to west on the south side of the church and then continue walking around the church three times.

SOMETHING OLD, SOMETHING NEW ...

Something old, something new

Something borrowed, something blue

And a silver sixpence in your shoe

The rhyme originated in Victorian times although some of customs referred in it are much older.

The something old represents the couples friends who will hopefully remain close during the marriage. Traditionally this was old garter which given to the bride by a happily married woman in the hope that her happiness in marriage would be passed on to the new bride.

Something new symbolizes the newlyweds' happy and prosperous future.

The something borrowed is often lent by the bride's family and is an item much valued by the family. The bride must return the item to ensure good luck.

The custom of the bride wearing something blue originated in ancient Israel where the bride wore a blue ribbon in her hair to represent fidelity.

The placing of a silver sixpence in the bride's shoe was to ensure wealth in the couples married life. Today some brides substitute a penny in their shoe during the ceremony as silver sixpences are less common.

THE WEDDING DRESS

It is thought unlucky for the bride to make her own wedding dress.
It is also unlucky for the groom to see the bride in her wedding dress before until she arrives at the ceremony.
The bride should not wear her entire outfit before the wedding day. Some brides leave a final stitch on the dress undone until it is time to leave for the ceremony when the outfit is completed.

WEDDING DRESS COLOuR

Most brides today marry in white which symbolizes maidenhood. This tradition started by the rich in sixteenth century. The tradition was given a boost by Queen Victoria who chose to marry in white instead of silver which was the traditional colour of Royal brides. Before the white dress brides wore their best dress. The colour was a matter of preference. The following is a traditional rhyme offering advice on dress colour:

Married in White, you have chosen right,

Married in Blue, your love will always be true,

Married in Pearl, you will live in a whirl,

Married in Brown, you will live in town,

Married in Red, you will wish yourself dead,

Married in Yellow, ashamed of your fellow,

Married in Green, ashamed to be seen,

Married in Pink, your spirit will sink,

Married in Grey, you will go far away,

Married in Black, you will wish yourself back.

A green dress is thought to be unlucky unless the bride is Irish. The old expression that a woman has a 'green gown' was used to imply promiscuity, the green staining being due to rolling in grassy fields. (LOL.)

THE VEIL

Traditionally, brides have been thought to be particularly vulnerable to evil spirits and many of the customs and traditions associated with weddings are to provide protection. The veil was originally worn by Roman brides. It was thought that it would disguise the bride and therefore outwit malevolent spirits.

FLOWERS

Flowers have always been used for decoration at weddings.

Some people choose the flowers at the wedding on the basis of their symbolic meaning. For example orange blossom has always been associated with weddings because it signifies purity and chastity.

Peonies are avoided by some as they represent shame; azaleas represent temperance: roses symbolize love and snowdrops represent hope.

A combination of red and white flowers is avoided by the superstitious because they stand for blood and bandages.

However, people from different regions may attach other meanings to the same flower. For example lilies symbolize majesty to some but are thought unlucky by others because of their association with death.

The groom often chooses a flower for his buttonhole which also occurs in the bride's bouquet. This is a vestige of the time when a Knight would wear his Lady's colours to display his love.

ON THE WAY TO THE WEDDING

When the bride is ready to leave the house for the wedding ceremony a last look in the mirror will bring her good luck. However, returning to the mirror once she has began her journey will result in bad luck.

Seeing a chimney sweep on the way to a wedding is though to bring good luck and it is still possible to hire one to attend wedding ceremonies. Other good luck omens when seen on the way to the ceremony include lambs, toads, spiders, black cats and rainbows.

Seeing an open grave, a pig, a lizard, or hearing a cockerel crow after dawn are all thought to be omens of bad luck. Monks and nuns are also a bad omen. This may be because the are associated with poverty and chastity. They are also though to signal a dependence on charity by the newlyweds.

Bad weather on the way to the wedding is thought to be an omen of an unhappy marriage, although in some cultures rain is considered a good omen. Cloudy skies and wind are believed to cause stormy marriages. Snow on the other hand is associated with fertility and wealth.

BRIDESMAIDS

Bridesmaids were dressed in a similar way to the bride for the same reason as the origin of veil. The bridesmaids were thought to act as decoys to confuse evil spirits and thus protect the bride.

THE WEDDING CAKE

Cutting the wedding cake is now part of the ritual celebrations at the reception. The couple make the first cut together to symbolize their shared future.

CONFETTI

Confetti is Italian for sweets which in Italy are thrown over the couple as they emerge from the Church in that same way we use paper confetti. Raisins and nuts may also be used.

Before the use of paper confetti the married couple were showered with flowers, petals, rice or grains. This was to bestow prosperity and fertility on the couple.

SHOES

In the past there have been a number of customs involving shoes which were thought to bring good luck. The best known, which is still upheld, is to tie shoes to the back of the newlyweds' car. This has evolved from the Tudor custom where guests would throw shoes at the newlywed couple. It was considered lucky if they or their carriage were hit.

The custom of the bride throwing her bouquet shoulder, described below, was originally performed by her throwing one of her shoes over her shoulder.

BOUQUET

After the reception the bride throws her bouquet back over her shoulder where the unmarried female guest group together. Tradition holds that the one who catches the bouquet will be the next one of those present to marry.

A parallel custom is for the groom to remove the garter worn by the bride and throw it back over his shoulder toward the unmarried male guests. Again the one who catches it will be the next to marry.

CROSSING THE THRESHOLD

After the wedding the bride must enter the new marital home through the main entrance. It is traditional for the groom to carry the bride over the threshold when they enter for the first time. The reason for this is uncertain. One explanation is that the bride will be visited by bad luck if she falls when entering. An alternative is that the bride will be unlucky if she steps into the new home with the left foot first. The bride can avoid both mishaps by being carried. A third explanation is that it symbolizes the old Anglo-Saxon custom of the groom stealing his bride and carrying her off.

THE BEST MAN

It is the best man's duty to protect the groom from bad luck. He must ensure that once the groom has began his journey to the church he does not return for any reason.

He must also arrange for the groom to carry a small mascot or charm in his pocket on the wedding day.

When the best man is paying the church minister's fee he should pay him an odd sum to bring luck to the couple.

THE HONEYMOON

The term "honeymoon" is though to originate from the times when a man captured his bride. The couple would hide from the bride's parents before marrying. The couple would remain in hiding for a further cycle of the moon after the wedding. During this period they drank honey wine.

In Scotland the custom was for a woman with milk in her breasts to prepare the marital bed to encourage fertility in the newlyweds.

In Ireland a laying hen was tied to the bed on the first honeymoon night in the hope that some of its fertility would be passed on to the couple. Eating a double yolked egg was also thought to bring fertility.

2011 Wedding Trends?? Trendy or Trashy?

2011-03-26T09:22:00.000-04:00

I have been looking over wedding blogs and articles to see what kinds of trends were predicted for 2011. I am not sure if I agree with everything, but some of them don't sound "way off". What do you think? These are some of the many trends that I have found. Do you agree, disagree, or maybe you are indifferent? What are your predictions for 2012? Di you think the economy will boom and more will be done at weddings? Ir do you think that the world is going to end in October of 2012, and people will make a mad rush for a quick ceremony towards the beginning of the year?

Here are a bunch of sites that I found that all have trends for 2011.

What do you say we start a trend list for 2012??

Austin Wedding Blog

The Knot

Beauty Bridal

Stylish Wedding Ideas

One Wed

Changing it all over

2011-03-24T18:49:00.000-04:00

So, today began the change!! Steve and I finally headed to the bank and now have a joint checking account! I feel like we are married already. Now that we will be buying a house and having home bills, it just makes sense to have a joint checking account where all of the bills are paid from. I am only on the checking account so his savings accounts are still strictly his, and I will keep one savings account at my bank. The main reason I am keeping my bank is because it is the only one that is on the Vineyard and off-island. This way, we can use the ATM without surcharges and what not when we head to the island. It just made sense to keep one.

Well that is it for now! Everything with the house is going as scheduled, and in 3 weeks from tomorrow, we close on the house! YIPEE!!

Off Topic - Our House

2011-03-20T20:57:00.000-04:00

So, the process has begun to get the new house. It is crazy to think that we are currently under contract to purchase a place to live; a place we could potentially raise our family in. I still cannot believe what has happened in the past 2 weeks!

So, catch-up, we out in an offer on a house on last Wednesday the 9th of March. By Friday the 11th, the sellers had accepted and we became under contract to purchase a house. On Monday the 14th we had our home inspection. Mike went through the house from top to bottom and only a few things came back that we may need to fix in the future. A few things were like, move any plants at least 18-24" from the house so that it does not attract bugs to the house or cause a rot situation. There was an electrical box outside that needs a new cover as the old one snapped off. There were a few things in the electrical panel that we need to address with an electrician. There are a couple of circuits that are doubled up that we need to have looked at and fixed. The electrical panel is 100amps and while that is sufficient, most houses built now have a 200 amp electrical panel. We may have to upgrade that in the future. Also, there is not a proper circuit in the electrical panel for the pool pump, so again, that is something we'll have to address.

We also had a Radon test done and a water quality and quantity test, as we have a private well. The water quantity was more than sufficient. However, the water quality test failed. The sellers have agreed to fix the water problem and have hired the home inspector to come back and retest the water once they have the system shocked to kill any bacteria in the well.

We are still waiting for the Radon test to come back as there was important data missing so the test could not be completed. The inspector forgot to write in some pertinent information before submitting the canisters for testing. The date the canisters were picked up and the amount of hours spent in the basement were not listed on the paperwork, so the lab would not test the sample until that information was complete. The home inspector emailed us and said that he has called the lab to verify the information so the test can be completed.

Our agent, Michelle, who has been so amazing, has told us that the sellers have ordered the title V to be completed soon. She also advised us that we should be hearing from the bank lawyers either Monday or Tuesday to sign the purchase and sales agreement, which we will have to bring another deposit check.

We also had an appraisal on Friday. Because we are using a federal loan program, we have to have the home appraised to make sure that the amount we are paying from the house is in line with what the house is worth. If the house appraised for $210,000 and we were paying $235,000 we'd have to come up with the difference because they will only pay for the value of the house. If the appraisal comes in over the price we are paying, than the loan process will move forward. Michelle advised that some appraisers will say exactly what the house is valued at while others will simple say that the value is enough to be covered by the loan. She explained that some people may run to the bank and take out a line of equity against the house for the difference, and they really do not encourage that. Michelle told us she was informed that the loan was all set, meaning that the house was appraised for more than we are paying, which is exciting!

So, we were trying to think of what to do with the two-story barn. I said that in 5-10 years we could make it a guest house, Steve does not want to do that. He thinks it would make a great "Man-Town".... UM NO! Who knows what we are going to do with. I would like to finish the space and use it for a living space, but he is not sure what we wants. He thinks that if we make it a guest house that we would be having guests. I told it it would be for those very few and infrequent times we have people come to stay. That way they can have their own space to stay and we would not be bothered by them; he didn't like my idea!

Oh well! We have plenty of time to change things around. April 15th will be here faster than we know, which is closing day! We are so excited it is beyond words!

Oh, finally on Century21.com they have the house as "Sale Pending" which made me very happy!!!

Wedding Party Responsibilities

2011-03-20T20:33:00.002-04:00

Get a Grip on Bridal Party Responsibilities!
Who Does What?

Planning and/or participating in a wedding can be a daunting task. Traditionally, wedding party members all have very distinct roles to assist with the process and make life easier on the bride and groom.

Use these wedding party responsibility guidelines to help you get a grip on who does what! Of course, you can customize this list to meet the unique needs for your wedding party.

We've included links in the checklist to take you to helpful resources for each particular item.

Bride & Groom Together	Best Man
Bride's Responsibilities	Maid/Matron of Honor
Groom's Responsibilities	Bridesmaids
Mother of the Bride	Groomsmen & Ushers
Father of the Bride	Flower Girl
Mother of the Groom	Ring Bearer
Father of the Groom	Special Duties

Bride and Groom : Together

Decide on your budget. Consult with your parents, if they are paying for or contributing to the wedding.
Decide on and set the style, theme, date, time, and the place of ceremony and reception. Make the reservations and deposits.
Meet with your wedding officiate and participate in any premarital counseling required.
Order your Save-the-Date cards, wedding invitations, and thank you notes.
Choose your attendants and their attire.
Purchase gifts to honor your Bridesmaids, Groomsmen, and children in the wedding party (flower girl and ring bearer). Present those gifts at the rehearsal dinner or at a private gathering with your wedding party prior to the wedding.
Acknowledge all bridal shower and wedding gifts you receive with a handwritten personalized
thank-you note from both of you.
Purchase gifts for your parents.
Obtain your marriage license and any needed blood tests.
Attends the rehearsal and rehearsal dinner.
Attend the ceremony and reception.
Dance the first dance at the reception.
Greet everyone at the reception, either with a receiving line or by mingling.
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Bride

Discuss your budget with parents and fiancé.
Choose your wedding gown and hair decor.
Select your wedding day jewelry (necklace, bracelet, and earrings)
Book your coordinator, caterer, DJ, florist, photographer, videographer, wedding cake baker, and other wedding industry professional you need for your big day.
Help compile guest list.
Address invitations.
Shop for trousseau.
Pack for honeymoon.
Obtain all necessary travel documents for honeymoon (i.e. passport, birth certificate, visa).
Purchase groom's wedding ring and have it engraved.
Purchase wedding gift for groom.
Complete paperwork necessary for name change on bank accounts, credit cards, insurance, etc.
Stand to the right of the groom during the receiving line.
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Groom

Help compile guest list. Present list to bride at least 3 months before the wedding.
Purchase bride's engagement and wedding rings and arranges engraving.
Rent or purchase wedding attire.
Choose all wedding attire and accessories for the male bridal party members.
Plan and pay for honeymoon.
Get traveler's checks for honeymoon.
Obtain all necessary travel documents for honeymoon (i.e. passport, birth certificate, visa).
Assist in any and all planning of ceremony and reception.
Purchase wedding gift for bride.
Pay for the bridal bouquet and all corsages and boutonnières for wedding party.
Scout out hotels for out-of-town guests.
Send out rehearsal dinner invitations.
Arrive at ceremony site at least 1 hour early.
Bring marriage license to ceremony site.
Make payments to officiate and musicians.
Stand to the left of the bride in the receiving line.
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Maid (Matron) of Honor

Assists bride in choosing a bridal gown as well as in choosing attendants' gowns and jewelry.
Purchase gown and accessories that she will be wearing.
Helps bride address invitations.
Plan and host bridal shower.
Plan and host the bachelorette party.
Records gifts received at showers as well as collecting all ribbons and bows for making the rehearsal bouquets.
Helps the bride assemble and decorate wedding favors.
Helps bride and bride's family decorate the reception hall, if necessary.
Attend rehearsal and rehearsal dinner.
Arrive with at least 2 hours early to assist the bride in dressing.
Organize bridesmaids and their gowns.
Arrange bride's veil and train before and throughout the ceremony.
Hold groom's ring during the ceremony if its not being carried by the ring bearer.
Signs the wedding certificate as an official witness.
Stands to the left of the groom in the receiving line.
Dances when the music starts at the reception and asks other guests to dance.
Be gracious and serve as an auxiliary hostess at the reception.
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Best Man

Plan and host the bachelor party.
Rent or purchase wedding attire that is the same as the groom's.
Attend rehearsal and rehearsal dinner.
Arrange for transportation to ceremony for self and groom.
Arrange for transportation of the couple as well as self to the reception.
Arrives with the groom at least 1 hour before the ceremony.
Helps keep the groom calm.
Supervises groomsmen and ushers.
Holds bride's wedding ring if not being carried by the ring bearer.
Escorts the Maid (Matron) of Honor during the recessional.
Forwards payment to musicians and officiate from the groom.
Stands to the right of the bride in the receiving line.
Makes the first toast at the reception and reads congratulations telegrams.
Dances when the music starts and asks other guests to dance.
Transport newlyweds to the honeymoon suite or airport after the reception.
Organize the return of any rented wedding attire for all men in the wedding.
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Bridesmaids

Purchase gowns and accessories to wear in the wedding.
Assist Maid (Matron) of Honor in planning and hosting bridal showers.
Help with wedding favors.
Run errands as needed by the bride.
Help decorate the reception hall, if needed.
Attend rehearsal and rehearsal dinner.
Arrive early at the wedding dressing site.
Walk down the aisle before the Maid (Matron) of Honor, flower girl, and ring bearer.
May stand in receiving line.
Dance and are gracious at the reception.
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Groomsmen and Ushers

Purchase or rent wedding attire.
Assist in planning and financing the bachelor party.
Attend the rehearsal and rehearsal dinner.
Arrive dressed at least 1 hour before the wedding.
Fold and distribute wedding programs.
Ensure that all family members have corsages/boutonnières before being seated.
Seat guests as follows:
- Single females are escorted on the right.
- Single males should walk along the left side.
- Escort the female of a couple on the right with her date walking behind.
- Guests of the bride are seated on the left.
- Guests of the groom are seated on the right.
- Leave first few rows unseated to accommodate family members.
- Seat the mother of the groom.
- Seat the mother of the bride.
- Roll out the aisle runner.
Light candelabras, as needed.
Escort bridesmaids during the recessional.
Check for any items left by guests at the ceremony site.
Collect ceremony decorative items such as baskets, pew bows, and aisle runner.
Dance when music starts and ask other guests to dance.
Decorate the newlywed's car.
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Father of the Groom

Assist in compiling guest list.
Purchase or rent wedding attire.
Pay for and host the rehearsal dinner.
Propose the first toast at the rehearsal dinner.
Arrive dressed 1 hour before the wedding.
Stand to the left of the mother of the groom in the receiving line.
Pay for all beverages at the wedding reception.
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Mother of the Groom

Assist in compiling guest list.
Purchase a dress that is complementary in color and style to the mother of the bride's dress.
Plan the rehearsal dinner.
Arrive dressed 1 hour before the wedding.
Stand to the left of the bride's parents in the receiving line.
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Mother of the Bride

Assist bride in the selection of wedding gown and accessories as well as the color and style of the attendants' gowns.
Help prepare guest list.
Help record gifts received.
Select a dress that will complement the color scheme of the wedding and inform the mother of the groom of the choice.
Assist in details of ceremony and reception (i.e. caterer, DJ, photographer, etc.).
Arrive dressed before the bride and the bridal party.
Bring the guest book and unity candle to the ceremony and then to the reception.
Stand at the head of the receiving line.
Serve as official hostess at the wedding and reception.
Gather the gifts after the reception and hold for the couple until after the honeymoon.
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Father of the Bride

Assist in preparing the guest list.
Purchase or rent wedding attire that matches that of the groom and other male wedding attendants.
Ride with the bride to the ceremony.
Escort bride down the aisle on left arm.
Stands to the left of the mother of the bride in the receiving line.
Co-hosts the reception.
Dances second dance with the bride at the reception.
Helps gather gifts after the reception.
Last to leave reception.
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Flower Girl

Parents pay for dress and any alterations needed.
Attends rehearsal and, depending on age, attends the rehearsal dinner with her parents.
Arrives dressed 1 hour before the ceremony. (If very young, 30 minute early may be more appropriate.)
Precedes the bride and her father in the processional, while scattering flower petals in the bride's path.
Attends the reception with parents.
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Ring Bearer

Parents pay for attire that matches or complements the groom's attire.
Attends rehearsal and, depending on age, attends the rehearsal dinner with her parents.
Arrives dressed 1 hour before the ceremony. (If very young, 30 minute early may be more appropriate.)
Precedes the flower girl in the processional carrying the wedding rings on a pillow.
Attends the reception with parents.
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We Bought A House!!

2011-03-12T07:22:00.000-05:00

Who would have thought, that less than 2 weeks into the house hunting process, that we would have fallen in love with a house? We certainly didn't! Over the past 2 weeks we have seen only 8 houses; the last of which is the one we are now under contract for. We have seen small houses, and split-levels, foreclosures, and short-sales. We didn't "love" any of the ones we had previously seen.

We liked one foreclosure that priced well below our range. The only thing with that is it would have needed updating. Not to say that there were major issues with the house, but by spending well below our budget we may have come in over budget once all of the changes and upgrades were complete. We have thought about that house, but it was a smaller house. It did have a HUGE 2 car garage and a GIANT room above the garage. But the only way to get into that room was from a staircase outside, or through a bedroom window! We would have had to add a door or another staircase in the garage to access that room. The kitchen needed rearranging, the carpets all needed to be ripped up. The upstairs bathroom needed massive updates, and the basement had a small puddle of water when were down there. These are all things that, if we bought the house and fixed, could have brought us well above the price we paid for our new home!

We had seen some houses that had no power or heat so we could see our breaths while walking around in it. That house in particular was nice, but we had found that we did not like split-level houses. We had seen a total of 3 splits and decided we did not car for them. The bedrooms are all tiny. They all share one bathroom. And we lose half of our living space in the basement because of a garage. It is really like having a 1 1/2 sized ranch home. With split-levels, the living space is pretty much maxed out at what is there. There is not a whole lot more you can do for adding on that wouldn't cost an arm and a leg!

So the house we are now under contract for is AMAZING! It is 2 floors, with a basement, so I guess 3 floors. It has 1825 sq feet and a yard that is 1.38 acres. It has 3 bedrooms which are ALL enormous. Even the smallest bedroom is big! As mentioned before, that was one of our main concerns about a split-level house, but not a concern with this one! It has 1 1/2 baths, and the 1/2 bath could be converted into a full bath if we ever decided to move the laundry area from the 1st floor to the basement. We have a 2 story barn out back and a shed. The home also has a pool and a pellet stove in the living room.

As soon as we walked into the house, it felt like a home! We saw it on Tuesday. We went back for a second look on Wednesday and made an offer. They accepted on Friday, and we close April 15th, which is 34 days from today.

I just cannot believe we found "our" house so quickly, but I am incredibly thankful that we did! It is perfect timing to buy a house and close in April and have the wedding in September. I am so lucky to be living the life I do.

Now, obviously, these are the listing pictures, so once we move in you have to imagine the place completely empty! It will be so much fun to put our stuff into this house and make it a home!

What to do about tipping??

2011-03-05T08:48:00.000-05:00

This tid bit about tipping is from: http://www.frugalbride.com/tipping.html

I'll bet I know exactly what's going through your mind right this very instant. TIPPING, WHAT ARE YOU CRAZY!?! Yes, we know, you've already paid an absolute fortune for those vendors and now you have to shell out some more. Sorry.
Here are the general rules for tipping. Although it is generally thought to be a voluntary thing (I'd like to know who said that), there are still areas of your wedding that require tipping, but you can still use your discretion. Firstly, you may want to find out from your vendors if tipping is allowed. There are several vendors, caterers for example, that include the wages of their staff in their price. They sometimes discourage tipping. (Bet you hope to hear that a lot!) And some vendors will add gratuities to their bills. Be sure not to double tip.
If you are using a wedding coordinator, they should be responsible for delivering the tips and payments to the related vendors. If not, then it should be your best man. If you don't feel comfortable asking the best man, ask one of the fathers. All tips should be calculated and prepared in separate envelopes ahead of time, thereby making it much easier for the individual responsible to deliver the tips.
FB TIPS ON TIPPING:

All tips should be given in cash. If the person serving you is an employee of the company, their tip should be in a separate envelope.
No one/single person should get more then $150.00. For example: Let’s say your limo bus is $2000.00. 10 or 15% of that total is 200 or 300 dollars, not necessary.
Tips should be given just before your vendor leaves. That way you can judge how much to give, according to the job they did for you.
All vendors would love a thank you card. It is a great reminder of happy clients and let's face it, it'll help them book future clients.
Giving vendors a favour/bomboniere is totally up to the couple and how many they can spare.

THE ONES YOU SHOULD TIP

Altar boys or girls - $10-15.00 each

Limousine Drivers – 10-15% of the limousine bill, given at the end of the evening. See "FB Tip" above.

Valet Parking Attendants - $.50 to $1.00 per car, prearrange this amount with the supervisor based on an estimate of how many cars will be arriving and a sign should be posted to guests that the gratuity has been taken care of.

Wait staff - If the tip is not on the contract already, 15% of the total catering bill is tipped. Wait staff do the hardest physical labour on your wedding day.

Bartenders - 10% of the total liquor bill, presented to the head bartender or divided equally among the total number of bartenders who worked the full evening. Make sure that a tip hasn't been added to your contract already.

Restroom and/or Coatroom Attendants - $.50 to $1.00 per guest, prearranged again based on the number of guests.

Makeup artist or Hair Stylists - You don't have to tip them if they come to you. If you go to the salon, then you should tip them 15%. Why you ask, well the salon makes the money, not the individual. If you have received a good job, and you would tip normally, then go ahead.

DJ - If your DJ owns the company then the tip is optional but if the DJ is an employee $50-100.00. If you have 2 DJs (DJ & MC), give each person $50.00 in separate envelopes. When your guests rave about your reception later, it's the DJ that had everything to do with the fun.

OPTIONAL TIPPING (amounts reflect optional tips)

Business Owners - You don’t have to tip the owner of a business, unless you feel that they have gone beyond the call of duty and you want to give them a token of your appreciation.

Ceremony or Reception Musicians - $5-10/hr per person, in one lump sum given to the person in charge.

Banquet or catering manager - doesn’t need to be tipped unless they’ve thrown in extras or saved you a few hundred dollars on your bill. The tip would be between $50-$100.

Photographer and Videographer - If these vendors own the company, then the tip is optional. If they are employees $50.00 goes to the main photographer and he/she can give a split to the assistant.

Officiant - To tip them is to trivialize their profession and extremely bad etiquette. Generally you pay your fee and that's it. If you wish to make a financial contribution to the church, you can do that separately.
Florist - You don't need to tip the florist for making your arrangements but you can tip them an extra $5.00 per delivery location (3 locations=$15.00) or $10-20.00 per staff member in one lump sum, for set-up and delivery.
Wedding Cake Baker - You don't have to tip for the baking of the cake but if you are at your reception venue at time of delivery and set-up = $10.00
Wedding Coordinator or Room Manager- This is the person managing the reception venues staff and facility the night of your wedding = $50.00

Your Wedding Coordinator - If this vendor owns the company, then the tip is optional. If they are an employee = $50.00

Your Wedding Planner - This person has planned your wedding from start to finish. An appropriate tip would be 10% of their total commission or bill.

This should give you some guidelines on tipping etiquette. Tipping etiquette is different in different provinces, cities and towns. Please be sure to add this to your budget. The amounts above are only examples and are not written in stone.

This is from theknot.com:

When you're already dipping deep into your (or your parents') savings for so many wedding expenses, shelling out gratuities on top of that can be hard to handle. Well, rest easy: unless a service charge is spelled out in your contract, you're never obligated to tip anyone.
However you can't ignore the fact that some vendors will expect a gratuity, which forces tipping to be considered on a case-by-case scenario. Some general rules: Don't tip business owners, only tip their employees (however, you can/should tip an owner when the service exceeds expectations); tip vendors who offer exceptional service; thank-you notes are always appreciated; and assign the responsibility to a trusted deputy such as your wedding planner, a parent, or the best man. For a breakdown of what's customary for each vendor, read on.

Wedding Planner

Wedding planners won't likely expect anything; however, if yours did a great job you can always offer a token of your appreciation. (Note: Non-monetary thank-yous like professional photos of the wedding for the planner's portfolio can go a long way too.) Approximately 50 percent of couples do tip their planners -- typically those with more opulent weddings.
Protocol: Optional
The $tandard: Up to $500, or a nice gift
When to Tip: The bride should hand off the envelope at the end of the reception, or, she should send a thank-you note with photos or a check after the honeymoon.

Wedding Hair Stylist and Makeup Artist

This is one area where a gratuity is definitely expected. Tip between 15 - 20 percent just as you would in a hair salon, and consider giving a little extra if there's a crisis, like one of your bridesmaids has a meltdown over her updo and it requires a redo at the last minute.
Protocol: Expected
The $tandard: 15 - 25 percent, depending upon the quality of service
When to Tip: At the end of your service

Wedding Delivery and Set-up Staff

Slip a few dollars to anyone delivering important items to the site (wedding cake, flowers, or sound system). And if a lot of gear needs to be brought in and set up (tents, chairs, or port-a-potties), the workers deserve a tip too.
Protocol: Expected
The $tandard: $5 - $10 per person
When to Tip: Drop off cash envelopes the day before the wedding to the catering manager so the person accepting deliveries can turn the tip.

Wedding Ceremony Officiant

If your officiant is affiliated with a church or synagogue, you're often expected to make a donation to that institution. If you're a member you'll probably want to give a larger amount than if you're not. However, if you're getting married there and they're charging you to use the space, feel free to give a smaller amount. If you're using a nondenominational officiant, no tip is required because they will charge you for their time.
Protocol: Expected (depending on officiant)
The $tandard: Donate $500+ to the church or synagogue, or, for a nondenominational officiant, an optional tip of $50 - $100
When to Tip: Most ceremony fees are required prior to the wedding. Otherwise, have the best man pass the cash envelope at the rehearsal dinner if the officiant is in attendance.

Wedding Ceremony Musicians

If you worked with a mini orchestra to come up with the perfect score for your service (and they pulled it off flawlessly), consider showing some monetary thanks for their talent. However, you probably don't have to tip the solo church organist who was required to play.
Protocol: Optional
The $tandard: $15 - $20 per musician
When to Tip: At the end of the ceremony.

Wedding Photographer/Videographer

You're not expected to give your shutterbugs any dough beyond their normal fees. Yet if the wedding photographer or videographer doesn't own the studio, consider tipping each person (or give a certain amount with a thank-you note to disperse to staff).
Protocol: Unnecessary, unless the photographer is not the studio owner.
The $tandard: $50 - $200 per vendor
When to Tip: At the end of the reception.

Wedding Reception Staff

This type of staff includes the on-site coordinator, maitre d', and banquet manager. A service charge (typically 2 percent) is almost always built in to the food and drink fee, so check your contract. If the gratuity is not included, tip as follows.
Protocol: Expected
The $tandard: 15 - 20 percent of the food and drink fee (based on labor, not the cost), or $200 - $300 for the maitre d'.
When to Tip: If it's covered in the contract, the final bill is typically due before the reception. Otherwise, have the father of the bride or best man hand the envelope to the maitre d' at the end of the reception since you will need to know the final tab to calculate the percentage.

Wedding Reception Attendants

When it comes to bartenders, waitstaff, parking, bathroom, and coat-room attendants the rules of tipping are dictated by your contract. If the service fee is included, consider doling out extra only if the service was exceptional. If it's not included, ask ahead of time how many attendants will be working your wedding and calculate on a per person basis.
Protocol: Optional, based on contract
The $tandard: $20 - $25 per bartender or waiter; $1 per guest for coat room and parking attendants; $1 per car
When to Tip: Although tips are traditionally passed out at the end of the event, you could alternately distribute them at the beginning of the evening, to encourage all the workers to give you great service.

Wedding Reception Band or DJ

Whether you hire 12-piece swing band or grooving to a DJ, tipping musicians is completely optional. (Depending on the quality of the job and how willing they were to follow your ideal playlist!) And don't forget about any sound technicians they bring with them.
Protocol: Optional, yet preferred
The $tandard: $20 - $25 per musician; $50 - $150 for DJs
When to Tip: At the end of the reception, by the best man.

Wedding Transportation

Again, check your contract, as gratuity is usually included. If it isn't, plan to tip provided they show up on time and don't get lost!
Protocol: Expected
The $tandard: 15 - 20 percent of the total bill
When to Tip: At the end of the night or after the last ride. If you used a separate company for the guest buses, designate a bus captain to hand the driver a tip, otherwise, this duty falls to the best man.

Mini White Cakes Recipe

2011-03-05T08:37:00.003-05:00

I found this recipe in a bridal magazine last summer. I had clipped it out and put it in my bridal binder and forgot about it. Today someone on Wedding Buzz wanted a cupcake recipe so I shared this with her, and I figured I would share it with all of you as well!!

Mini White Cakes

Makes 12

Ingredients:

Vegetable oil cooking spray, for baking sheet

1 ¼ cups cake flour

¾ tsp. baking powder

¼ tsp. baking soda

¼ tsp. salt

1 cup sugar

½ cup almond paste or marzipan

6 tbsp. unsalted butter, room temperature

4 large eggs, separated

½ tsp. pure vanilla extract

½ cup whole milk

2 cups Swiss Meringue Buttercream (recipe follows)

Frostings and coatings (choose one):

4 ½ cups Swiss Meringue Buttercream

6 cups Seven-Minute Frosting (recipe follows) and 1 ¾ cups Swiss Meringue Buttercream

2 ¼ cups confectioners’ sugar

12 ounces rolled fondant and 1 ¼ cups Swiss Meringue Buttercream

Directions:

1. Preheat oven to 350°. Spray 12-by-17-inch rimmed baking sheet, and line with parchment paper. Spray parchment paper with cooking spray. Sift flour, baking powder, baking soda, and salt into a large bowl.

2. Beat ¾ cup sugar and the almond paste in a mixer bowl on medium-low until mixture resembles coarse meal, about 2 minutes. Raise speed to medium-high. Add butter; beat until pale and fluffy, about 2 minutes. Beat in egg yolks and vanilla. Beat in half the flour mixture, then the milk, then remaining flour mixture. Transfer to a large bowl.

3. Place egg whites in clean mixer bowl; whisk on medium-high until foamy. Gradually add remaining ¼ cup sugar, beating until soft peaks form. Fold one-third of egg-white mixture into batter with a rubber spatula. Gently fold in remaining egg-white mixture.

4. Pour batter into prepared pan and spread evenly. Bake until a cake tester inserted into center comes out clean, 15 to 20 minutes. Transfer pan to wire rack; let cool completely. Unmold cake; remove parchment.

5. Cut cake in half crosswise. Spread half with 2 cups buttercream; top with remaining half cake. Wrap tightly in plastic; refrigerate 1 hour or up to 2 days. Before decorating, cut into 3-inch squares or circles.

6. Coat individual cakes with desired covering.

Swiss Meringue Buttercream: Use an offset spatula to spread a thin layer of buttercream over each; chill until firm, about 30 minutes. Then coat with a smooth layer (about ¼ cup each). Place extra buttercream in a pastry bag fitted with a small round tip, and pipe dots along top edges of each. Refrigerate until ready to serve, up to 12 hours. Serve at room temperature.

Seven-Minute Frosting: Use an offset spatula to spread a thin layer of buttercream over each; chill until firm, about 30 minutes. Shortly before serving, spread with frosting (1/2 cup each), using an offset spatula to swirl frosting into peaks or to smooth. Let sit at room temperature, up to 4 hours, before serving.

Confectioners’ Sugar: Just before serving, dust about 3 tablespoons over each cake, using a sieve. Serve.

Rolled Fondant: Use an offset spatula to spread a thin layer of buttercream over each; chill until firm, about 30 minutes. For each, roll out 1-ounce piece of fondant following package directions (wrap remaining fondant airtight). Press a rubber stamp into center. Lay over cake; smooth over sides. Trim excess fondant (if free from crumbs, in can be combined and rerolled). Keep at room temperature until ready to serve, up to 4 hours.

Swiss Meringue Buttercream (Makes 6 cups)

Ingredients:

1 ¼ cups sugars

5 large egg whites

1 pound (4 sticks) unsalted butter, room temperature

1 tsp. pure vanilla extract

Directions:

1. Combine sugar and egg whites in a heatproof mixer bowl set over a pan of simmering water. Whisk constantly until sugar is dissolved and mixture registers 160° on an instant-read thermometer.

2. Transfer bowl to mixer stand; whisk on medium-high until whites are fluffy and cooled, about 10 minutes. Continue to whisk until stiff, glossy peaks form. Reduce speed to medium low; add butter but the tablespoon, whisking well after each. Whisk in vanilla. Use immediately, or refrigerate airtight up to 3 days, or freeze up to 1 month. Bring to room temperature before using; beat on low until smooth, about 3 minutes.

Seven-Minute Frosting (Makes about 4 cups)

This classic snowy frosting is simply a meringue

Ingredients:

1 ½ cups sugar

2 tbsp. light corn syrup

6 large egg whites

¼ cup water

1 tsp. pure vanilla extract

Directions:

Combine sugar, corn syrup, egg whites, and the water in a heatproof mixer bowl set over a pan of simmering water. Cook over medium heat, stirring frequently, until mixture registers 160° on an instant-read thermometer, about 2 minutes. Attach bowl to mixer stand; whisk mixture on high until glossy and voluminous, 7 minutes. Whisk in vanilla. Use immediately.

Awesome things happening!

2011-02-26T19:46:00.000-05:00

I am so excited about things happening with regards to this wedding and to other things in life. First I will talk about what is great about the wedding planning!

We have paid nearly everything off! We have paid off the caterer, the ceremony site, the save-the-dates, the invitations, the tuxedo rentals, my dress/accessories, the transportation, the ceremony musicians, and the justice of the peace. We still owe the photographer; which won't be given until after we receive the pictures. We also owe the last half of our rental contract. I also owe for my hair/make-up and my bridesmaids' hair. We also need to pay for the marriage license, Steve's ring, the jr. groomsmen and ring bearer gifts, and the remainder of the alcohol; but that is all that we have left to pay for! I am so excited that we have so few things left!

I was also looking over my budget chart, yes I made one! I looked at what we saved by doing things ourselves and what we have saved by asking people that I know to help us with the wedding. I will list below what we have saved:

Catering: Quoted by other caterers, $15,000; price we are paying, $7,500; amount we saved $7,500
Cake: Quoted $1000; included with caterer; saved $1000
Photography: Quoted $5000+; price we are paying, $2000; amount we save, $3000
Transportation; Quoted $600; paying $500; saved $100
JOP: Quoted $250; paying $100; saved $150
Music: Quoted $3000 for DJ and ceremony; paying $500 for ceremony as my cousin is DJing/MCing as our gift; saved $2500
Favors: Priced out about $250; made self for $175; saved $75
Invitations: Priced for $600; made self for $125; saved $475
Dress/Accessories: Priced out for $1000; paid $700; save $300
Ceremony Site: Priced out $900; paid $600; saved $300

Between all of the savings by doing things myself or from asking favors of friends, we have saved roughly $15,400. Now, by no means is our wedding a cheap one, but we are getting a wedding that could have easily cost closer to $45,000!! I think we are doing AMAZING by saving what we have been able to save by asking friends to help out. I am incredibly proud of what we have put together so far, and cannot wait for our wedding day! I know we will save even more before the wedding actually happens as well!

So, today we paid all of the tuxedo rentals, which took an incredibly long time to do. The guy had to enter 13 different people into the computer system, and that took a while. We were able to get everything picked out and paid for, so now that is one less thing on the wedding list to do!

We sent off the final check to the caterer. We understand that we will have less people than the price quote included, but Steve would rather get the money to the people we owe now, and then be credited back after all is said and done.

We have also been pre-approved for a mortgage, and we will be looking at our first house on Monday. It is incredibly exciting to start this process together. I love living here with his parents, as it saves us a TON of money, but we have been her for 3 1/2 years, and it is truly time for us to be out on our own. I would ideally love to be in a house before my bridal shower, which is on April 30th, but I know that is pushing it a bit! If we can be in a house a few months before the wedding I would be incredibly happy.

I know I will probably fall in love with the first house, but when it is the first one you look at, it will be special, But once you look at more and more houses, the image of the first one will be lost, unless it is truly the right house. We will be looking at one that is 5 bedrooms, 2 1/2 baths, with just over 2500 square feet, and has an in-ground pool on Monday. It is one we have looked at several times over the last few months and now that we are meeting with a realtor and have been pre-approved, we are finally going to get a look at it. It would be nice to absolutely love it and buy it, but that is a bit of a fantasy!

I will certainly update now that house-hunting is part of the wedding planning! Wish us luck!

Did my DIY card box!

2011-02-12T16:29:00.001-05:00

So I worked on my card box today. I think it came out FABULOUS!! I still have to cover the base with batting and fabric, as well as cover the top with batting and fabric. Steve and I also need to pick out 2 more pictures to put in the frames, but other than that it is done!!

I used 4 11" x 13" frames that I got at Christmas Tree shop for $7 each. I also bought L-brackets, screws, duct tape, foam board, and a lazy-susan from Wal-Mart. I followed the directions from my previous post. I turned my picture frames sideways, rather than up and down. I liked the lower profile of it, and it seemed bigger to me that way. The post on how to do the DIY card box shows the woman doing her picture frames upright. It looked nice, but I wanted mine sideways!!

If you want the directions, read my blog from January 5th, or go to http://roadtotheaisle.blogspot.com/2007/09/diy-photo-frame-cardbox.html.

I am so happy with how it came out. I tried using hot glue to hold the brackets, but because the wood is so shiny they kept peeling off. I finally had to find some screws to use. The ones that came with the brackets were a bit too long and would have gone right through the frame, so I have to scrounge around in the basement and find shorter ones. All of the screws are different, so it looks interesting on the inside; but no one will see that!

I am not sure if I want to cover the whole base with fabric or just the edges. I will most likely do the whole base because it will be easier with the batting just to do the whole things rather than bits and pieces.

Let me know what you think of the card box!

Wine Box Ceremony

2011-02-07T21:02:00.000-05:00

I had never heard of this, but it sounds interesting. Here is some information about what it is!

Love Letter & Wine Box Ceremony

Here's an idea that will certainly grab the attention of the guests, add some pizazz to your ceremony and incorporate a new twist into your celebration.
Here is what you will need:

A wooden wine box
a bottle of your favorite wine
two love letters sealed in separate envelopes
a small hammer and several nails

Wine Box Options:

A Custom Made Wine Box with two keys.
Personalized Wine Boxes.

A few weeks before the wedding, take some time to each write a letter to one another, expressing your thoughts about the good qualities that you found in your future partner, the reasons for falling in love with them and your hopes and dreams for the future. In other words, you write a "love letter" to each other and place it in a sealed envelope, with the name of your partner on the outside. Do not read what the other has written.

Be creative with the box by putting foam inside to support the wine bottle. Line the inside with satin material. You can also include CDs of your favorite music, favorite pictures of you together, and other mementos making it your own romantic time capsule. Keep the box in a place of honor as a constant visual reminder of your love and commitment to each other. The box can be a life preserver in years to come.

The Wine Box should be opened on your 5th wedding anniversary.

There is only one other reason the box should be opened before your anniversary. If there should come a time when you hit a bumpy road in your relationship, before you give up or make any irrational decisions, open the Wine Box. The hope is that there will never be a reason to have to open the box except on your anniversary!
Hit a rough spot in your relationship? Sit down together, open the box, uncork the wine and unseal the envelopes that you wrote for one another before your wedding, go to separate rooms and quietly read the love letter.

Even if you are not seeing eye-to-eye at that very moment, it will remind you of all the reasons you choose this person as your partner and all the things that helped shape the life they've created together. Never take your blessings of being together for granted.

The romantic sentiments you wrote, the declaration of love, the clear thoughts about why you chose this person as your life partner will help put you back on even ground. This is the perfect ritual to remind you of your wedding day and your intention to love and cherish each other in good times and bad for as long as you both shall live.

Toward the end of your ceremony the Officiant will state the purpose of the "Love Letter & Wine Box Ceremony."

The Officiant will elaborate on the reasons for the sealed love letters, place the sealed envelopes in with the wine bottle and will speak about the exercise that you went through. It should be emphasized that the letters have not been read by the Officiant or by anyone else.

The box will then be nailed shut (or locked). The Officiant begins with the first nail, followed by the Bride and Groom sealing the box shut. You can have each member of your wedding party step up and nail the box shut.
If you use a custom made wine box with two keys, the bride and groom each use a key and lock the box.
Your guests will be pleased to have been a witness to something so unique and different at your wedding ceremony.
• • • Love Letter & Wine Box Ceremony Minister: _____ and _____ have chosen as a couple to perform a Love Letter & Wine Box ceremony.
This box contains a bottle of wine, two glasses, and a love letter from each to the other. The letters describe the good qualities they find in one another, the reasons they fell in love, and their reasons for choosing to marry. The letters are sealed in individual envelopes and they have not seen what the other has written. You have created your very own "romantic" time capsule to be opened on your 5th wedding anniversary.
I recommend that you keep the box in a place of honor prominently displayed in your home as a constant reminder of your commitment to each other.

Minister: _____ and _____ should you ever find your marriage enduring insurmountable hardships, you are to as a couple, open this box, sit and drink the wine together, then separate and read the letters you wrote to one another when you were united as a couple in marriage. By reading these love letters you will reflect upon the reasons you fell in love and chose to marry each other here today.

The hope is, however, that you will never have a reason to open this box. And if this is the case, you are to open this box to share and enjoy on your 5th year wedding anniversary!

Minister: _____ and _____, you may now seal the box.

NOTE: The minister drives the first nail, then the bride and groom nail the box shut. You can also have each member of your wedding party step up, drive in one nail to help nail the box shut.
If you use a custom made wine box with two keys, the bride and groom each use a key and lock the box.

Love my Job!

2011-02-01T21:48:00.000-05:00

I cannot believe I am saying this aloud, let alone thinking it, but I actually really love my new job! Today we took "live" calls from customers and I felt amazing and confident about the work I was doing, and the information I was passing on to the customers. Their, Commerce Insurance/MAPFRE, main goal is for us to give accurate information to the customers when we are reviewing their account. I was so intimidated and nervous about taking a "live" call because I thought that I wouldn't be able to read the information correctly or be able to pass that information on to the customers. Granted, I did have probably the most EASY calls we took today, but regardless I felt confident in my work. I really think that this company will be my employer until I retire. I want them to be my employer until I retire!

So, over the last 2 weeks we have been taking simulated calls in the training environment. Our trainer would call us and we would complete the call as if it were a "live" call. It was great experience to learn how to navigate through the multiple programs needed to complete our jobs; however, there are some things that cannot be shown in training. There are screens that we cannot use unless it is for a real account, such as payments. So today was a great contrast to our pretend calls.

When we were told that we were taking "live" calls today, I freaked; internally, of course! My body went into its' typical fight or flight mode, by drawing all of the blood in my extremities inside for fight mode. What happens to me is that my hands and fingers go yellow, think Lisa Simpson. Once my hands are yellow, my fingers begin to pucker. The skin sags into itself and creates indents when touched. My skin looks as if I have a sunburn, sort of, meaning I am so yellow that when I touch my skin, my finger prints are left in white! Not quite sure why my body does that, but it does! At least I know myself well enough to call it before it happens and acknowledge why it is happening. So all this fun stuff happened when we were told about the live calls.

What was great is that we were given the option of answering the calls ourselves, or having our trainer, Lisa, take the call while we listen on another handset. The first call I had, she took the call and I navigated through all of the screens to make sure she had all of the information needed to complete the call and help the customer. The second call I took while Lisa listened on the other handset. She was there to help me with anything I needed or to point out things that I may have been missing. I felt great that I did not need her help in the last call at all!

So, I love my job, and I hope I continue to love it! I was so scared and unsure when we began and now I cannot wait to get out "on the line" and really start working!

Alcohol Information

2011-01-28T17:52:00.000-05:00

Alcohol is the lifeblood of your reception. You could blow $40,000 on ice sculptures, a coveted venue, and flowers coming out the officiant's ass, but if you run out of booze, suddenly the party craters at 8pm and everyone leaves unsatisfied.
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So. While we typically recommend a "big picture" approach to wedding planning that frees you from the nitty-gritty, in this case, you'll want to get your hands dirty. Know the right ratios, the right brands, the right balance between quantity and quality.

For our guide, we've enlisted wine consultant Tyler Haas. In his professional capacity, Tyler "tastes" up to 100 wines and beers a month including--on the clock!--a $1,900 bottle of cognac. We hate him. Then again, he's also stuck dealing with the hell that is wedding planning, so maybe it all balances out.
Taking a break from tasting cognac, Tyler sobered up to answer our many, many questions on wine, alcohol, and wedding-booze protocol.

The Plunge: Let's say you're having 100 adult guests. How would you break that down, in terms of how much beer, wine, champagne, liquor?

Tyler Haas: It depends on the guest list; some people drink more beer, some drink more liquor, but in general, the rule is 1 drink per adult per reception hour.

C'mon. Really? My friends and I drink a lot more than that.
You'd be surprised how much of an overestimation the rule can be, conservative as it sounds. Remember, for every cousin who pounds Jack-and-Coke, you've got an aunt who doesn't drink.

Fair enough. So what's the right ratio?
Roughly, the mix should be 1/3 beer, 1/3 wine, 1/3 liquor, with about 1 bottle of sparkling wine per 8 guests for toasting.

So, for 100 people, I'd expect to go through about 30-40 beers an hour, 8-10 bottles of wine (you get roughly 4 glasses per bottle), and around 2-3 750ml bottles of liquor (more if people drink martinis -- I'm counting jiggers per bottle, which is about 17 drinks) per hour.

For a 3-hour reception, I'd make it around 100 beers, 24-ish bottles of wine and 7-8 ish bottles of liquor. That's the better part of a pony keg (or 2 1/4 kegs), 2 cases of wine, and 2 bottles each of my base liquors.

Oh, and about 14 bottles of bubbly for toasting. Scale up or down depending on the number of guests, remembering:

160 beers per pony keg (that's a 1/2 keg -- you get about 80 from a 1/4, and around 50 from a 1/6).
17 shots of alcohol per 750 ml bottle of booze (around 22 shots per liter bottle, and 39 per 1.75L bottle).
4 glasses of wine per 750 ml bottle.
8 toasting pours per 750 ml bottle.
1 drink per adult per hour, plus the toast.

Let's say you're on a really, really tight budget. What's the bare minimum of booze you should provide for your guests?
The bare minimum would be a bit of sparkling wine to toast the bride and groom; one bottle per 8 guests.

That said, you can outfit a decent bar for under $100; 2-4 bottles of $8 wine, a 750 ml bottle each of vodka, rum, tequila, and Canadian whiskey (about $10 each if you get the cheap stuff--but not rotgut), and the remaining budget goes into mixers and beer. You should know... the prices vary depending on the store and local market prices, so I'm saying "roughly" a lot.)

Fine by us. Okay, now what's the bare minimum for a full bar?
2 white liquors (vodka, tequila), 2 brown liquors (rum, whiskey), some wine, and some beer. For mixers, a lot can be done with OJ, a small bottle of Rose's Lime, some grenadine, vermouth (sweet and dry), and margarita mix.

Switching gears, let's say money is no object. What's a nice "flourish" you can add that will really impress your guests?
Serve a tete de cuvee champagne. Perrier-Jouet Grand Fleur (the painted bottle -- around $130 a bottle) is always popular for that (and it even comes in a gift pack with 2 painted glasses, $130-$140-ish). Note that I'm being really specific here -- the other tete de cuvees that most people are familiar with (Cristal and Dom Perignon) are both overpriced, in my opinion (and, honestly, being both vintage blancs des blancs, they're really yeasty and crisp, not everyone's cup of tea), and not everyone carries Grande Dame or Palmes D'Or or Cuvee Louise or the other tete de cuvee Champagnes. This would be for a country-club kind of crowd.

What if it's more of a beer crowd?

You could get some really cool, obscure beer--Dogfish 90, or something similar. It's harder to impress with beer, unless the crowd is full of hopheads, but it can be done.

Anything else you could do to impress?
Make a really cool signature drink with top-shelf liquor; classic margaritas with Contreau or Grand Marnier and a good tequila (I'm fond of Corzo, although Milagro is also quite good), or have your bartender go wild and make something custom.

Would you ever do box wine?
Absolutely! There are excellent box wines out there -- I know of several art galleries (places with $10,000+ sculptures) in my area that serve box wines at openings! The trick with serving box wine and not looking cheap is to not serve it in a box; have the wine served as passed cocktails (the boxes out of sight in the kitchen -- this is what the galleries do), or in decanters/carafes. A 3L box of wine -- the equivalent of 4 regular bottles -- costs anywhere from $10 to $20 (I know of one that retails at $40, called Four, but I'll exclude it from this question as it's a bit too expensive to be considered "box wine." Note that other states do have 4L and 5L boxes, but in Florida, where I work, the maximum legal size is 3L.

You can also go high-end on large-format wine; there are wines sold in Jereboams, big 3L bottles (they run from $40 to "hey, how much do you want to spend?") and even larger -- they'd be special-order items, generally, but if you've got the time it can usually be done. Actually, come to think of it, that could be a nifty "flourish," if money's no object.

How "open" should an open bar be? In other words, you probably don't need to have Johnny Walker Blue, but you should at least have the basics. What's the right guideline?
Depends on the budget, but for an open bar, I don't see any reason to have a ton of top-shelf items. For scotch, JW Red would be just fine, for example. There's no real reason to go with rotgut... but well-boozes are just fine. Remember, nobody will remember the brand of the vodka that went into their gimlet at your wedding-okay, unless they're really obsessive-they'll remember how fun the party is.

What are the must-have mixers?
A bare minimum of OJ, sweet vermouth, dry vermouth, sweet-and-sour mix, Rose's Lime, cola, and grenadine. Other items to have: margarita mix, daquari mix, tonic water, seltzer, other sodas.

How about wine? What kind should you serve?
Pick two varietals, one red and one white. At most, 4 -- light white, heavy white, light red, and heavy red; generally, I recommend a sauvignon blanc or pinot grigio, a chardonnay, a pinot noir or light merlot, and a cabernet or malbec. Anything more and you risk running out of one particular type or producer; people won't really remember "they didn't have a pinot grigio," but they will remember, "I started drinking pinot grigio... and then they ran out." Generally, if you go for 2 varietals, pick a chard and a cab. This is also partly to make life easier on whoever is pouring; that way, they don't have to keep track of a ton of wines, and you don't wind up with any more than a couple of extra open bottles.

Makes sense. Any other wine you'd consider serving?
Even though I've got a soft spot for oddball varietals, most people are unfamiliar with torrontes and pinotage (the first is an Argentine/Uruguayan white, the other is a South African red), and your wedding reception is probably not the place to introduce them. Stick with the major varietals unless you've got a really adventurous crowd.

Do you need champagne, or can you have sparkling wine from California or somewhere else?
You can toast with anything -- at my best friend's wedding (where I provided the booze as a wedding present), we toasted with an excellent semi-seco Cava, a semi-sweet sparkling wine from Spain (Cava is the type of wine, semi-seco is the sweetness designation). I'm almost embarrassed to say it was only like $8 a bottle... but I had people coming up to me all afternoon telling me how much they loved the bubbly, and how it was so much better than Champagne usually is. Cavas almost always cost under $25 a bottle, most of them are under $15 and a good number of them can be found for under $10 in a big wine store.

Any other toasting options?
Sure. You can also toast with Prosecco (between $10 and $30 a bottle); in the current economy, it's the fastest-growing segment of the sparkling wine market. These tend to be just a hair sweeter than a brut Champagne, and they're not nearly as yeasty/toasty, which can be good for people who don't drink a ton of bubblies.

Personally, I'm not a huge fan of most California sparkling wines (at the low end, they're not terribly good -- for technical reasons, the acidity is too low, and the grapes are over-ripe. Not to mention, good grapes in California tend to go into still wines, since they're more valuable there, so it tends to be crappy grapes in the bottle). There are exceptions; J Winery made good bubbly up until last year when their head winemaker left -- I've not tried what their new winemaker has come up with. Schramsberg makes really good stuff too, but both of those are around $30-$40, which is as expensive as Champagne, so why not get the original?

Got it. Okay, beer. Do you frown on serving the cheapies like Coors Lite or Bud?
No, we sell a ton of Bud Light for weddings. Again, it's not about the booze, it's about the party. For a good QPR--

--Huh?
Technical term: Quality to Price Ratio. For a good qpr beer, I like Yuengling personally; not significantly more expensive than the mass-market domestics, but it's a damn sight more flavorful.

Recommended ratio for kegs? How much light beer, how much dark beer?
About 50-50. Remember that a pony keg (AKA a half-keg, the size that most people are familiar with) has about 160 beers in it, but a lot of beers are available in quarter kegs, and many craft brews come in 1/6 kegs (about 50-60 beers each).

How many pony kegs per guests?
Have a pony keg for every 80-100 people if you've got a bar and wine.

What's the biggest mistake people make in planning alcohol for weddings?
This is going to sound weird coming from a guy in the business of selling booze, but a lot of people pay too much for their booze -- generally, paying for the name that's on the label, rather than the juice in the bottle.
Remember, especially with wine and booze, if you've heard of it, it's likely because it was advertised somewhere. Ads are not free; that's money that could be spent by the producer on improving their products instead. The best wines and alcohols I've ever had were ones that don't do any advertising; they let their products speak for themselves. And they cost substantially less than advertised stuff with comparable quality.

Another mistake people make is getting brut sparkling wine for toasting.... and then toasting when the cake is cut. Why have a sweet frosted wedding cake with a dry wine (bruts are meant for serving with buttery seafood and chicken in cream sauces, or drinking on their own), it makes the cake seem cloying. Get a demi-sec (fairly sweet) wine instead, so it matches the sweetness of the cake! Or toast with no food.

Any tips for dealing with drunken guests?
Give your bartender liberal leeway in cutting people off. If one of your groomsmen is likely to remain reasonably sober, assign him the job of keeping an eye on guests who may over-indulge.

Thoughts on transportation options?

Have the best man (or one of the more-likely-to-remain-sober groomsmen, or the bartender) keep the number of a cab company and a couple of $20s handy if any guests over-indulge. If the reception is at a hotel, you might even be able to arrange for a last-minute room for someone, if need be. You have to remember, as the hosts, it is YOUR responsibility (morally, and increasingly, legally) to make sure nobody who shouldn't drive gets behind the wheel. Every situation will be different, but there should be a plan in place BEFORE the reception.

Anything else?
If you're buying the alcohol for your wedding, don't go to the store last-minute, give them a couple of weeks to get everything together, especially if you want a specific wine and/or alcohol in significant quantities. If you go shopping on Tuesday for a Saturday reception, you're gonna be limited to what they have on hand; that's not the worst thing to happen (good booze, especially good cheap booze, tends to be purchased in large quantities by the store), but it can limit your choices.

That reminds us--what about return policies?

Check with your supplier. In many cases, the rule is "if we can put it back on the shelf to sell it, we'll take it back." (note: some states don't allow alcohol to be returned, so ASK FIRST). If that's the case, better to over-buy quantities and return what's not used (I advise this all the time at work).

Ideally, anywhere you go for alcohol for your wedding should have decent customer service; if you go to the store, they should have someone helping you pick out items (like me!). Trust them; we taste a LOT more wine and booze than you do (when's the last time you sat down and tried 30 wines and vodkas in 3 hours? For me, the answer is "last Tuesday." Yes, we spat when we tasted, otherwise the hangover would have been epic.). They'll know where the deals in their selection are (the $10 chard that tastes like it costs $15, the obscure Russian vodka that's absolutely great but that you've never heard of, etc); just ask for them. Let the people know your budget and tastes, they probably can put together selections to match without too much effort.

Along those lines, should you tailor the booze to the guests that are coming?
Don't get hung up on the idea that "Uncle Tony only drinks Goose, so we've got to get a bottle for him," if you've got a Smirnoff budget. If you're micromanaging the party to account for one guest's tastes... that's too much work.

Also, remember that most people aren't nearly as much of an aficionado of alcohol as you think they are.

They're coming to the wedding reception to have fun, fete you, and (hopefully) give you a set of cookware from Bed Bath and Beyond that you'll exchange for a really nice stereo or a HDTV. They're not coming for a wine tasting; "serviceable booze" is a perfectly good idea to aim for. After all, how many weddings that you were at do you remember the brands served? That's right, zero

The History of Wedding Traditions

2011-01-23T18:48:00.001-05:00

Virtually every part of a wedding, from the engagement to the honeymoon, has rich history. Cultural roots, ancestry, and religious beliefs have shaped marriages for thousands of years. The following descriptions will provide you with a brief history of various wedding elements.

The First Marriage Rites
From the time of Adam and Eve, the relationship between a man and a woman has been unique and ordained by God. Eve was created for Adam and to complete his need for companionship. Our earliest records of history depict unification between a man and a woman and their respect for a higher being. It wasn't until Abraham disobeyed God that other women came into the picture and left generations of unrest for those who chose to take more than one wife.

The Bachelor Dinner
More commonly known today as the bachelor party, this celebration in the groom's honor was originally called the bachelor dinner, or stag party. Like many other wedding traditions, the custom has stood the test of time. It first came about in the fifth century, in Sparta, where military comrades would feast and toast one another on the eve of a friend's wedding. Even today, a bachelor party customarily takes place quite close to the actual wedding date, as it has become known as the groom's last taste of freedom. Despite the risqué entertainment that is associated with stag parties today, bachelor parties have not always entailed this controversial element. Although rowdy and boisterous, bachelor parties are traditionally organized to allow the jittery groom and his wedding attendants to release some anxieties before the big day.

The Wedding Party
During the "marriage by capture" era, close friends of the groom-to-be assisted him when he kidnapped the bride from her family. The first ushers and best men were more like a small army, fighting off the brides angry relatives as the groom rode away with her.

Bridesmaids and maids of honor became more common when weddings were planned. For several days before the marriage, a senior maid attended to the bride-to-be. This maid or matron of honor, as we know her today, ensured that the bridal wreath was made and helped the bride get dressed. All bridesmaids helped the bride decorate for the wedding feast.

For a long time, bridesmaids wore dresses much like the bride's gown, while ushers dressed in clothing that was similar to the groom's attire. This tradition began for protection against evil rather than for uniformity; if evil spirits or jealous suitors attempted to harm the newlyweds, they would be confused as to which two people were the bride and groom.

Wedding Flowers
Before the use of flowers in the bridal bouquet, women carried aromatic bunches of garlic, herbs, and grains to drive evil spirits away as they walked down the aisle. Over time, these were replaced with flowers, symbolizing fertility and everlasting love. Specific flowers have special meanings in many cultures. In Hawaii, the bride and groom wear leis; newlyweds in India don floral headdresses.

The Wedding
The wedding is one of life's primeval and surprisingly unchanged rites of passage. Nearly all of the customs we observe today are merely echoes of the past. Everything from the veil, rice, flowers, and old shoes, to the bridesmaids and processionals, at one time, bore a very specific and vitally significant meaning. Today, although the original substance is often lost, we incorporate old world customs into our weddings because they are traditional and ritualistic.

Old world marriage customs continue to thrive today, in diluted, disguised and often upgraded forms.

Customs we memorialize today were once "brand new" ideas. Although historical accuracy is hard to achieve, the historical weight attached to old world wedding customs and traditions is immense. While reading through these pages, feel free to use, reinterpret, or omit them in your own wedding.

Remember, as you plan for your wedding, to create new family traditions and customs to be handed down to your children and their children. Just think, maybe someday, your "new custom" will be as unique and exciting as these presented here.

Wedding History
Up to and during the Middle Ages, weddings were considered family/community affairs. The only thing needed to create a marriage was for both partners to state their consent to take one another as spouses. Witnesses were not always necessary, nor were the presence of the clergy. In Italy, for example, the marriage was divided into three parts. The first portion consisted of the families of the groom and bride drawing up the papers. The bride didn't even have to be there for that. The second, the betrothal, was legally binding and may or may not have involved consummation. At this celebration, the couple exchanged gifts (a ring, a piece of fruit, etc.), clasped hands and exchanged a kiss. The "vows" could be a simple as, "Will you marry me?" "I will." The third part of the wedding, which could occur several years after the betrothal, was the removal of the bride to the groom's home. The role of the clergy at a medieval wedding was simply to bless the couple. It wasn't official church policy until the council of Trent in the 15th century that a third party (i.e., a priest), as opposed to the couple themselves, was responsible for performing the wedding. In the later medieval period, the wedding ceremony moved from the house of the bride to the church. It began with a procession to the church from the bride's house. Vows were exchanged outside the church (by the way, the priest gave the bride to the groom...I don't think she was presented by her father) and then everyone moved inside for Mass. After Mass, the procession went back to the bride's house for a feast. Musicians accompanied the procession.

"Let's Tie the Knot" or 'Let's Get Hitched"
Tying the Knot, an old term for a ritual now being renewed in our weddings today. Not new-age or western-slang about 'hitchin' up yer gal like a horse'. Although the term hitching was a rope making process used for tying up horses with ancient old world roots, it is undoubtedly associated with 'tying the knot'. These terms are analogous with a proposal of wedlock. The term Tie the Knot came from the Renaissance Ceremony called "Handfasting". 'Handfast' and its variations are defined in the Oxford English dictionary as "to make a contract of marriage between (parties) by joining of hands." This could also be interpreted today as a proposal of marriage for a specific period of time, traditionally a year and a day. A Hand Fasting ceremony is incorporated into formal wedding ceremonies and sometimes done at or as an Engagement Party.

Handfasting
The old way in Great Britain for couples to pledge their betrothal was for them to join hands, his right to her right, his left to her left, so from above they looked like an infinity symbol. Done in front of witnesses, this made them officially "married" for a year and a day, following which they could renew permanently or for another year and a day. This was called "handfasting" and was used extensively in the rural areas where priests and ministers didn't go all that often. Sharing a cup and pledging their betrothal in front of witnesses used to accomplish the same thing (usually done in taverns) but was eventually outlawed in most of Europe. In fact, the reference I got that from mentioned only Switzerland because that country was one of the last to stop recognizing it as a legal marriage. Handfastings (ancient word for weddings) were traditional before weddings became a legal function of the government or a papal responsibility taken over by the formal religions in the early 1500's. The very word Handfasting derived its origin from the wedding custom of tying (or hitching; see section below) the bride and groom's hands (actually their wrists, not hands) together, as a symbol to their clan, tribe or village of their decision to be bound together in family living. The traditional length of time was a year and a day, or 13 moon cycles. If the marriage proved to last over this period of time, then the vows would be renewed for a lifetime or they renewed them for "as long as love shall last". Often during this (trial) period of time the bride would be referred to as a Virgin, or 'a woman not owned by a man'. The wedding would be best arranged during the time of the new moon, for the new moon symbolizes new beginnings, the beginning of a new cycle and also looks like the Moon Goddess smiling down on them in the night sky.

Vow Renewal
The Handfasting Renewal was the original Vow Renewal Ceremony. Hand-fasting is the old Celtic tradition of binding two people in love together (like matrimony). It was traditionally performed on May 1st (although any day that the couple wishes is fine too), and those who were handfasted renewed their vows if they chose to stay together and were accepted into their community as a new family, which is what our culture does upon the initial Wedding Ceremony.

Why are more people renewing their wedding vows?

After the birth of a child or recovery of traumatic event or illness;
Because of a pending separation by distance or call of duty;
Because of tender wishes to revisit their commitment to each other;
Because of a "quickie" marriage that didn't hold much meaning;
Because of separation or problems and desiring to reconcile with ceremony;
Because it is a fun way to celebrate your anniversary, regardless of the number of years.

If you choose to send out invitations, "Bride's All New Book of Etiquette," recommends the following wording: "The honor of your presence is requested at the reaffirmation of the wedding vows of Mr. and Mrs. John Smith" etc. (the same as a wedding). Handwritten notes could be written for a less formal event. Wilderness Weddings also issues a Special Renewal Certificate at the end of the ceremony.

Have you thought of bridesmaids? If you decide on bridesmaids, choose dresses that could be reused. What is the ceremony like? The same as a wedding with the same or new vows, an outdoor wedding or indoor, quiet, traditional or wild and crazy! You can still wear your first dress or your mom's dress or a whole new look with any color you wish! What about the ring part? You can use your first rings or have new ones for the special occasion. Your kids can be a part of it, as ring bearer and flower girl, maid of honor, best man, etc. Your budget and formality will dictate selection of a disc jockey or band. Don't forget the photographer, flowers, and favors. Consider having a table set up at the reception with family photos, and mementos of your marriage.

The Bouquet
The earth laughs in flowers;
A flower is love looking for a word.

At its inception, the bouquet formed part of the wreaths and garlands worn by both the bride and groom. It was considered a symbol of happiness. Originally bridal wreaths and bouquets were made of herbs, which had magical and meaningful definitions for the couple's future life. Traditional Celtic bouquets included ivy, thistle and heather. Ancient uses included herbs, not flowers, in bouquets because they felt herbs -- especially garlic -- had the power to cast off evil spirits (can you imagine walking up the aisle holding a clump of garlic!?). If a bride carried sage (the herb of wisdom) she became wise; if she carried dill (the herb of lust) she became lusty. Flower girls carried sheaves of wheat, a symbol of growth, fertility, and renewal. Later, flowers replaced herbs and took on meanings all their own. Orange blossoms, for example, mean happiness and fertility. Ivy means fidelity; lilies mean purity.

The Best Man
Many centuries ago, before the women's rights movement, men who had decided upon a wife often had to forcefully take her with him (or kidnap her) if her family did not approve of him. The tradition of a "best man" probably has its origin with the Germanic Goths, when it was customary and preferable for a man to marry a woman from within his own community. When women came into short supply "locally," eligible bachelors would have to seek out and capture a bride from a neighboring community. As you might guess this was not a one-person operation, and so the future bridegroom would be accompanied by a male companion who would help. Our custom of the best man is a throwback to that two-man, strong-armed tactic, for, of course the future groom would select only the best man he knew to come long for such an important task.

The role of the best man evolved. By 200 AD his task was still more than just safeguarding the ring. There remained a real threat that the bride's family would attempt to obtain her return forcibly, so the best man remained at the groom's side throughout the marriage ceremony, alert and well-armed. He continued his duties after the ceremony by standing guard as sentry outside the newlywed's home. Much of this is German folklore, but is not without written documentation and physical artifacts. We have records that indicate that beneath the altars of many churches of early peoples (the Huns, Goths, Visigoths, and Vandals) there lay an arsenal of clubs, knives, and spears. The indication is that these were there to protect the groom from possible attack by the bride's family in an attempt to recapture her.

Traditionally, the bride stands to the left side of the groom. This was much more than meaningless etiquette. Among the Northern European barbarians (a name given to them by the Romans), a groom placed his captured bride to his left to protect her, as he kept his right hand free to use for defense. Also originating from this practice of abduction, which literally swept a bride off her feet, sprang the later symbolic act of carrying the bride across the threshold of her new home. It may well be that even the honeymoon had its origin with this capture scenario. It may well have served as a cooling-off period for the bride's family. It was the groom's hope that when the newlyweds returned from their honeymoon that all would be forgiven.

Something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue, and a silver sixpence in her shoe.
This good luck saying dates back to Victorian times and many brides try to arrange their wedding attire accordingly. Something old represents the link with the bride's family and the past. Many brides choose to wear a piece of antique family jewelry or a mother's or grandmother's wedding gown. Something new represents good fortune and success in the bride's new life. The wedding gown is often chosen as the new item. Something borrowed is to remind the bride that friends and family will be there for her when help is needed. The borrowed object might be something such as a lace handkerchief. Something blue is the symbol of faithfulness and loyalty. Often the blue item is the garter. A silver sixpence in her shoe is to wish the bride wealth.

Giving Away The Bride
The father who "gives away" his daughter at her wedding ceremony is following an ancient tradition that has evolved over hundreds, if not thousands, of years. The custom dates back to the time when a daughter was considered property, and the groom had to pay a price to her family before he could be permitted to marry his intended.

Another theory is that it symbolized the transition of authority from the bride's father to her husband as she moved from the parental home to the conjugal home. Today, many brides follow this custom, but its meaning has emerged as an outward approval of the groom by the parents or family of the bride.

In old times, female children were deemed to be the property of their fathers. When it came time for the daughter to marry and her father approved of the arrangement, he was actually transferring ownership of his daughter to the groom. Today, the act of giving the bride away is symbolic of her parents' blessing of the marriage to the chosen groom.

Women who consider this tradition archaic, or who have lived independently for years before their wedding, can eliminate this custom entirely or revise it to include their mother, brother, stepfather or any other significant member of the family. Some brides even elect to walk down the aisle alone.

Shoes Tied on the Car Bumper
Brides' shoes once were considered to be symbols of authority and possession. They used to be taken from her when she was led to the wedding place, and given to the groom by her father, effecting the transfer of his authority to her husband and as a sign that the husband now had possession of her (and she couldn't run away). The new husband then tapped her on the head to show his new role as her master.

It is obvious why this doesn't continue, but it helps to explain why we tie shoes to the back of the get-away car. Incidentally, the ever-popular horn honking has its beginnings in the days when brides traveled in open carriages. They were an easy target for evil spirits, so defenders would use bells and firecrackers to scare them away. No chance of any spirits getting in your way -- it's honeymoon or bust!

Carrying The Bride Over The Threshold
Generations ago it was considered lady-like for the new bride to be, or to appear to be, hesitant to "give herself" to her new husband, whether or not she truly was. At the threshold to the bridal chamber, the husband would often have to carry the bride over to encourage her to go in. An older meaning is that during the days of "Marriage by Capture," the bride was certainly not going to go peacefully into the bridegroom's abode; thus, she was dragged or carried across the threshold.

Veils
The veil originally symbolized the bride's virginity, innocence, and modesty. The veil can be traced back to Roman times when it was a complete head to toe cover (that was later used as her burial shroud!). This symbolism has been lost over the years but the veil is still customarily worn. In some Middle Eastern and Asian cultures, the veil was worn to hide the bride's face completely from the groom who had never seen her. Only after they were married would the groom be allowed the lift the veil to see his new wife's face.

The White Wedding Dress
In biblical days, blue (not white) represented purity, and the bride and groom would wear a blue band around the bottom of their wedding attire (hence "something blue"). The Greeks are often associated with white for the wedding dress - they used white robes to symbolize youth, joy and purity. Despite this, white wedding dresses have not always been the fashion. In the Middle Ages the white wedding dress was once again made popular by Anne of Brittany, in 1499 -- they were again supposed to symbolize virginity. Today, white is an ever-popular color but pastel shades, stronger colors and even tartars are also worn.

Diamond Engagement Rings
In medieval times, the groom would most often pay for the bride's hand in marriage. Precious stones were often included in this payment as a symbol of his intent to marry. While this practice eventually stopped, the gift of the precious stone as a symbol of intent remains today.

The Ring Finger
All wedding and engagement rings are worn on the fourth finger of the left hand. The vein in this finger was once believed (by ancient Romans) to go directly to the heart. Pretty obvious symbolism there.

Medieval bridegrooms placed the ring on three of the bride's fingers, in turn, to symbolize, God the Father, God the Son and God the Holy Spirit (thought of as God the Mother or Goddess). The ring then remained on the third finger and has become the customary ring finger for English-speaking cultures. In some European countries, the ring is worn on the left hand before marriage, and is moved to the right hand during the ceremony. However, in most European countries the ring is still worn on the bride's left hand. A Greek Orthodox bride wears her ring on her left had before marriage, and moves it to her right hand after the ceremony.

Wedding Rings
In ancient times, when life was much harder and oftentimes shorter, husbands practiced a superstitious ritual to ensure their wives' spirits wouldn't leave too soon. The husband would wrap the bride's ankles and wrists with ropes of grass believing this would keep here spirit within her. Over the years, as religious beliefs evolved, the meaning (and material) of the bonds evolved as well. Today, brides thankfully don't bind their wrists and ankles, only their ring fingers, and grooms have adopted the practice as well. The grass gave way first to leather, then stone, then metal, and finally to gold and silver. Today, the rings symbolize the love and bond between husband and wife.

The Bride's Garter
The garter from the bride comes from the ancient custom of witnesses at the marriage bed (to make sure the couple consummated the marriage); the witnesses would bring it forth as a sign of the witnessing. It became such a violation of privacy that eventually the bride would have the groom throw it to prove consummation. This is one of the oldest customs surviving wedding rituals.

The Wedding Cake
You might find it interesting that; originally, the cake was not eaten by but thrown at the bride! It developed as one of the many fertility traditions surrounding a wedding. Wheat too, is traditionally a symbol of fruitfulness and was among the earliest grains (predating rice) to be ceremoniously showered on the bride and groom. In its earliest origins, the unmarried young women attending the wedding were expected to scramble for the grains to ensure their own betrothals, much as they do today for the bridal bouquet.

Early Roman bakers, we are told, changed the "throw it" to the "eat it" tradition. These bakers were distinguished and respected in their trades. Somewhere around 100 BCE they began taking the wedding wheat and creating small, sweet cakes with it; the cakes were eaten while the service was in progress.

Following the tradition of eating the crumbs of the wheat, sweet meat cakes spread throughout Europe. In medieval England the tradition broadened to include the practice of washing down the cakes with special ale called "bryd ealu," translated as "bride's ale," words that eventually became the word "bridal."

In the Middle Ages when food tossing became rice tossing, the once decorative sweet meat cakes evolved into small biscuits or scones. Guests were encouraged to BYOB (bake/bring your own biscuit) with them to the ceremony. After the wedding, leftovers were distributed among the poor. It is those very simple biscuits and scones that became the forerunner of the elaborate multi-tiered wedding cake we know today. Legend has it that throughout the British Isles it became customary to pile the biscuits, scones, and baked goodies on top of one another in one huge heap. The taller the pile, the more the future prosperity of the young couple, who exchanged a kiss over the mound. It is told that in the 1660's during the reign of King Charles II, a French chef (whose name, unfortunately, is now lost) visited London and was appalled at the cake-piling ritual. It was his idea to transform the messy mound of bland biscuits into a beautiful work of art, an iced, multi-tiered wedding cake.

The Wine/Champagne Toast
Throughout the ages, wine has been used for celebration. Often and among many people, wine has signified life, vitality, love, and a life of plenty. Often and among many people, drinking wine from a common cup has been the intimate mark of deep sharing. "Entwined as the Vine. . . ." It is also in remembrance of Jesus turning the water into Wine as his first miracle at the Wedding of Cana in Galilee. It can be celebrated intimately during the Ceremony between the bride & groom or it can be at the Reception or both.

The feeding of the wedding cake and the wine toast is a derivation of the Wedding Eucharist nuptial wherein a part of a ceremony is their giving each other a sup from the Cup of Love and to eat from the Bread of Life and Health (also see reference under Handfasting for wedding toast nuptial).

The Wedding Candle
The side tapers are the family or individual candles. These flames represent you and your ties to your family. The middle or unity candle represents your marriage and your new family. As the two flames merge into one and can no longer be separated, so are the bride and groom joined as one in marriage. The side tapers may be blown out to represent the start of your life as a couple or remain burning to signify the continued ties to your family or the retention of your individuality.

The unity candle is not necessarily a religious symbol and is not identified with a particular religion or denomination, although religious readings or prayers may be incorporated within unity candle ceremonies.

The Blessing Stones
When a wedding is outside and near water, Blessing or Wishing stones are either gathered at the site or provided by the couple not only for themselves but for the wedding party and guests as well. After the ceremony all follow the bride and groom's recessional to the water, make a wish or blessing for them and cast their stone into the water. The ripples that are made represent the love and good wishes for not only the couple, but for all the world... as our ripples cross and re-cross one another's, so do our love and good wishes touch and retouch all around us and those with whom we come into contact.

Bridal Showers
This event has its roots in Holland. When a bride's father did not approve of the husband-to-be, he would not provide her with the necessary dowry. The bride's friends would therefore "shower" her with gifts so she would have her dowry and thus marry the man of her choice. While dowries are long gone today, the practice of giving gifts to the bride-to-be remains.

Honeymoons
In ancient times, the Teutonic people began the practice of the honeymoon. Teutonic weddings were only held under the full moon. After the wedding, the bride and groom would drink honey wine for one full moon cycle (thirty days). This "moon" (i.e., "month") became known as the "honey moon." While the name survived, the purpose of the honeymoon changed. After the wedding, newlyweds would leave their family and friends to go and do what newlyweds are supposed to do. Today that purpose survives, only now a vacation is incorporated, usually to a romantic get-away locale.

Flower Ceremony
An ivy wreath is used as the base (introduced by the minister who will relate it to ivy's traditional meanings, including the marital connection). Various friends and family members will add sprigs of various plants/flowers with their traditional or symbolic meanings related to marriage... building a wreath of flowers in the center of a circle ceremony or on the altar before or beside the bride & groom.

Crossed Broom and Sword
Another old tradition is for the couple to jump over a crossed broom and sword (held by the best man and the maid of honor). This symbolizes the cutting of ties to their parents and the ties being swept away.

Celtic Weddings
Many of the Celtic wedding customs of our ancestors do not travel very well to our present times. If you break short bread over the head of the bride or groom as they leave the church what are the chances that the unmarried youths present will scramble to eat a bit of it off the ground to insure a good match for their own marriage? Cutting the cake over the seated bride's head at the reception has replaced this tradition. It was also customary to salute the bride and groom by firing guns in the air outside the church. Try that in the suburbs. If you did have your wedding at a venue where you could use firearms, what statement would you be making? Chances are at least some of your guests would think you are a gun nut rather than a traditionalist. Honking the horns of the cars in the procession from the church replaces the guns.

Russian Weddings
Russian weddings last two days. The official ceremony is just a part of the wedding. The Bride and groom arrive in separate cars and are lead into separate rooms where they are to wait until they are called. When they are called they are greeted by the receptionist in the entry of the registration hall with bread and salt.

Then they are lead into the hall where the actual rites are to be held, they stand on a special carpet and the official reads a short speech and then asks the bride and groom if they do. Then there is an exchange of rings, the couples sign in the registry, and then the witnesses sign and the couple are pronounced man and wife.

The bread symbolizes the hope for health, long life and prosperity. In one part of the ceremony (at the reception) the bread is bitten into by the bride and groom, the one who takes the largest bite wears the pants in the family!

After the wedding, it is customary for the wedding party to hop in their decorated cars and make a tour of their town's historically sites, leaving flowers at each. There is also "stealing the bride", when the groom takes his eyes off the bride, she might get stolen and the groom will have to pay ransom!

Chinese Wedding Tea Ceremony
Tea is used because it is China's national drink and serving it is a sign of respect. Using tea is practical because not everyone can drink alcohol. Lotus seeds and two red dates are used in the tea for two reasons.

First, the words "lotus" and "year," "seed" and "child," and "date" and "early," are homophones, i.e. they have the same sound but different meanings in Chinese. Secondly, the ancient Chinese believed that putting these items in the tea would help the newlyweds produce children early in their marriage and every year, which would ensure many grandchildren for their parents. Also, the sweetness of the special tea is a wish for sweet relations between the bride and her new family.

On the wedding day, the bride serves tea (holding the teacup with both hands) to her parents at home before the groom arrives. She does this out of respect and to thank her parents for raising her. The tea at this time does not need to have the lotus seeds or dates, and the bride does not need the assistance of a "lucky woman." She pours and serves the tea by herself without the groom. Traditionally, after the wedding ceremony, the newlyweds serve tea (holding the teacups with both hands), inviting the groom's elders to drink tea by addressing them by formal title, e.g. first uncle or third aunt.

The general rule is to have the woman on the left side and the man on the right side. The people being served will sit in chairs, while the bride and groom kneel. For example, when the newlyweds serve tea to the groom's parents, the bride would kneel in front of her father-in-law, while the groom would kneels in front of his mother. The newlyweds serve tea in order, starting with the groom's parents then proceeding from the oldest family members to the youngest, e.g. the groom's parents, then his paternal grandparents, then his maternal grandparents, then his oldest uncles and aunts, and all the way to his older brother.

In return, the newlyweds receive lucky red envelopes ("lai see," which means "lucky") stuffed with money or jewelry. The helpers, who are usually women blessed with a happy marriage or wealth and chosen by the fortuneteller or bride's mother, also get lucky red envelopes stuffed with money from those being served. These envelopes are placed on the platter, which holds the teacups.

Irish
The bridal party has many origins, one of which comes from the Anglo Saxon days. When the groom was about to capture his bride, he needed the help of his friends, the "bridesmen" or "brideknights". They would make sure the bride got to the church and to the groom's house afterwards. The bride also had women to help her, the "bridesmaids" or "brideswomen".

Traditions & Trends
Do you know where the ideas for favors at the wedding came from? I don't think anyone has pinpointed where they came from for sure, however, they have become common tradition at most weddings you see now days. Here are a few traditions that you might find fun and interesting:

Jordan almonds, a favorite at most weddings, are centered on Middle Eastern weddings. This favor dictates that you give 5 pieces to each guest to represent the five wedding wishes: fertility, health, wealth, happiness and longevity. The almond is candy coated representing the bitter and the sweet of marriage.
Decorated eggs are a symbol of fertility for the couple with this Malaysian tradition.
Glass charms in the shape of an eye were given on the couples wedding day in this Greek tradition to protect them from bad luck.
"Bridal Sugar" is a Dutch favor tradition. It is given in sets of 5 cubes to represent: prosperity, virility, happiness, loyalty and of course love!
In the Victorian Era, "party crackers" were very popular.

Catching up on some Wedding Buzz Drama!

2011-01-23T16:26:00.002-05:00

Okay, I have a rather small bridal party.
1 MOH, 2 bridesmaids
The MOH is a friend of ours and the 2 bridesmaids is my sister and his sister.
Okay... I feel like my bridal party doesn't know how important this wedding is to me and all the dates leading up to it. Such as the bridal shower, bachelorette party, rehearsal, time we have to meet for pictures before the ceremony. My MOH isn't the problem, she is just going with what I tell her. I am not asking much from my bridal party besides buying their dresses, shoes and of course do WHATEVER they want with their hair. I'm not MAKING them do anything...besides of course their dresses which have already been bought.
My sister (BM #1). I just found out she is 2 months pregnant... I mean c'mon why did you have to get knocked up? Now she is going to stick out like a sore thumb, and she is not wearing no maternity dress she can fit into the one we bought or buy another one. How trashy my bridal party looks now, a little 20 year old who is on her 3rd child. UGH! She just is so irresponsible. When it comes to planning these parties she is like "well I'm pregnant" I just wanna be like thats your own fault, that is not an excuse to not come to these events.
FH's sister (BM #2). We put her in the wedding party because she bitched about nobody from his side being in the wedding, well first off this was his choice who he wanted in. So after her bitching about how he was closer with his ex (which he wasn't) and not taking this serious we put her in. She pretty much picked the BM dresses (luckily I liked them). But she picked the shoes, which at first I liked the idea but when I went home and thought about it I didn't, and she won't wear another pair even if I buy them. So I am just going to make them go barefoot for photos. She was all like "its about you guys not what the bridal party wears" well excuse me, its my dream to have everything matching. I tried talking to my FH, but he just doesn't understand, lol! Anyway...now when it comes to the parties she finds it more important to make t-shirts and beads with her relay for life team than agree on a date for the bachelorette party. I mean seriously, its one friken day! Another thing she complained about is the time for photos...she had to say "oh that makes for a long day" well sorry, but thats how the photographer does things.
I just feel like these girls don't understand. His sister is married, so I don't get why she has to act like this... she knows what we are supossed to do. From what her mom and my FH told me she made her bridal party do what she wanted. I'm not doing this, to be honest I don't even need their help. I just want someone up there with me, you know!? But I am planning my bridal shower and bachelorette party, so it goes how I have dreamed of. The girls said they would run the games if I tell them what I want. I don't know what to do, I'm about to flip out. If I talk to my mom all she will say is "calm down" to be honest there is no time to calm down, the wedding is getting closer and things need to be taken care of. I'm about to just say screw these parties and if people ask I'm gonna be like well people aren't taking things seriously so I decided to just ruin the wedding myself. Sorry for this complaining, and long post... but I just had this built up and needed to explode. I just don't know what to do?

Wedding Traditions

2011-01-15T21:03:00.000-05:00

I was thinking the other day about wedding traditions, and it made me wonder what ones we are keeping and which ones we are doing away with. So I decided to make a list of the things that we will do and a list of the things that we don't want.

Wedding Traditions That We Are Keeping:

Not seeing each other before the wedding

This one is super important to me. I really want the photographer to capture the moment Steve sees me walking down the aisle in my dress. It gives me goose bumps thinking about it!

Father walking me down the aisle

I could not think of getting married with out my Dad walking me down the aisle.

Traditional Dances

We will do the first dance, father/daughter dance, and mother/son dance.

Bouquet Toss

I have single ladies who will be bummed if I don't throw it, so I must!

Something Old, Something New, Something Borrowed, Something Blue, With a Sixpence in Your Shoes

Old: My engagement ring
New: Wedding band, dress, shoes, veil, hair piece, etc.
Borrowed: Diamonds in my wedding band borrowed from a great-grandmother's eternity band, lace from my mother's dress on the ring bearer's pillow
Blue: Diana is getting me my something blue! It will be my garter!
Sixpence: The sixpence I will have in my shoes is from the same great-grandmother, Margaret Esther Ayers, who's engagement ring I have. It seems like it is coming full circle as I will wear her sixpence and her engagement ring.

Cheesy Wedding Music

I am all about dancing and having fun, and I do every dance at weddings I attend, so it is a must to play YMCA, the Hustle, The Electric Slide, Macarena, etc.!

Traditions We Are Not Keeping

We are not riding in limos

This is an added cost that is beyond unnecessary to us, especially since the hotel, ceremony site, and reception site are about a 1/2 mile from each other.

Garter Toss

I get easily embarrassed, so I am not really comfortable with Steve going up under my dress to get the garter from my thigh, to then throw to the single men? No thanks! Plus the embarrassment of having the guy who caught the garter put it on the leg of the woman who caught the bouquet... I will pass!

Bridal Party Dance

I will not be having the bridal party dance with each other after our first dance. That just seems awkward to me.

These are the traditions I have thought us thus far. I may come up with more later!

Begin my new job on Monday!

2011-01-15T11:46:00.000-05:00

I am soooooo excited! I begin my new job on Monday at Commerce Insurance in Webster. I have been patiently waiting 3 weeks to begin and it is only 2 days away! I have to figure out what to wear now!

I am excited because I can now help save for the wedding and save for a house! This is going to make our lives so much easier in the long run because finances are one of those things that can crawl under your skin and ruin everything if you give it too much power. I am thankful that someone was looking out for me and knew that I needed a job. I am blessed to have the people I have in my life, and even more blessed now, that in this uncertain economy, I have found a full-time job with benefits! Now let's hope I love it as much as I love the idea of it!

Dresses in already!

2011-01-10T17:37:00.000-05:00

We all just went to David's Bridal last Tuesday to order Cyndi's dress and Gaby's dress, and they are in already! I am super excited that they came so quick! I will be picking up my sister in Brooklyn, NY tomorrow morning, and hopefully headed out to DB to pick up the dresses tomorrow afternoon. That way she can try on the dress, figure her size, and order it! Very exciting!!

My engraved toasting flutes arrived today and they are stunning! I cannot wait for September 24th so I can use them! I will be having a full glass all-day; even before the wedding takes place!

I sent out STD's to my cousin Sofia-Marie and her mom Kate in England. Sofie is my Uncle Mark's (Dad's brother) daughter. I have not seen her since she was three years old and she will be 19 in March! It has been far too long. She and her mom showed interest in coming to the wedding, so I do hope they come. It would be fantastic to see them again.

Cyndi's Dress

2011-01-05T20:18:00.000-05:00

So excited that Cyndi picked out and bought her dress last night. She tried on the original dress that we liked and then David's Bridal had a new dress that was very similar come in 2 weeks ago. So she tried that one on and she loved it. Gaby and I both think she is stunning in the dress, but you be the judge!

The first 2 dress are in the color that she will be wearing, Sangria. The teal one is the correct size, the first one was a bit large for her. So the last picture is more about the fit of the dress rather than the color, but the first 2 are the exact color that she will be in. I think she is absolutely stunning in the dress! I cannot wait for the wedding. Everyone is going to be gorgeous... especially me!

DIY Card Box

2011-01-05T20:12:00.000-05:00

Here is a great story about a DIY Card Box Project I found online. I am thinking about doing it for my wedding. Not sure if I am handy enough for this.

I had to make a lot of modifications to my plan as I went along, but I'm pretty happy with how it turned out. Hopefully those of you hoping to make one will at least be able to take away some idea of how to construct it based on these photos/instructions. So here goes...

SUPPLIES

- 4 photo frames (8"x 10" or 11"x 13", whatever you prefer--mine is 8x10 because I didn't want it to be huge--it is plenty big as it is)
- Drill

- Screw driver

- L brackets (I used four packages of four brackets)

- Screws (use the size recommended on the L brackets in terms of width. Mine were #8 screws, I believe, but only 1/2" long because didn't want to have any danger of them going through the front of the frames)

- Lazy susan (I bought mine for $5 at Walmart)

- Foam board (I bought a large one at Michael's)

- Batting material (used for "cushion" on the top)

- Pretty fabric (I bought a yard, which was way more than I needed)

- Exacto knife

- Scissors

- Stapler

- Duct tape

INSTRUCTIONS

1) I started by putting the frames together. I measured down on the frame where I wanted to drill the pilot holes for the screws so that the L brackets would be even to connect the frames together. Then I marked the spot with a pencil.

2) Drill the pilot holes into the frames. My box of screws recommended the size for the drill bit, so I went with that. To ensure I wasn't going to drill straight through the frame, I measured like 1/3" on my drill bit and placed a piece of tape there. I only drilled up to the tape line.

3) Once all of the pilot holes are in place, you can start screwing your brackets onto the frames. This is where I made my first mistake--I put the frames together empty (since I didn't have my engagement pictures back yet). Due to the size of my L brackets, there was a bit of L bracket overlapping the back of my frames, which made it impossible for me to squeeze the glass and backing back into the frame. I had to take my frames apart again (which wasn't a big deal, but still) to actually put the photos in. So I highly recommend cleaning the inside of the glass, inserting your photos, and completing all that before screwing them together.At this point, with yours, it should look pretty "complete"--the photos and glass will be in, and your box will be solid.

4) Next, start on the top. I began by measuring the space in the top of my frames, and measured the foam board to correspond with that. I ended up having to shave a little extra off of the foam board in order to make a little room for the fabric I upholstered it with.

5) Remember to cut a hole in the middle of the foam board for your cards. I made mine pretty big, but not big enough for hands to fit inside.6) Place the piece of foam board that you just cut down on the table and lay your batting material over it. Cut around the edges, giving yourself enough extra material all the way around to be able to fold it under the bottom of the box top. 7) Start folding and stapling! Stretch the fabric around the box top and staple it to the back side. You're basically upholstering the box top. You also have to cut a slit in the middle of the material for the slit in the middle of the foam board. Just pull the edges of the fabric through and staple to the inside of the opening.

This is what it looks like when it's done.

7) Repeat steps 6-7, but with your nice fabric. I used a sparkly white fabric I found at Joann's.

8) Cut out a piece of foam board (no need to cover it in fabric) that will fit inside your frames for the bottom of the box.

9) Now, you can attach the top a few different ways. Some people velcro the top and bottom directly to the top of the frames. I chose to attach additional L brackets to the bottom and top sides of my frames to hold the bottom and top in place. You can see them in the photos below.

View of the inside of the box from the top. The bottom is already in place, but you can see the additional L brackets I put in place to hold the top of the box in place (so it won't fall down insdie of the box).
This is a photo of the box turned upside down. Here, you can see the L brackets that I attached to keep the bottom in place.
10) Secure the foam board for the bottom to the bottom of the box. I used duct tape and taped over the L brackets. It was important to me to not completely ruin the frames (we want to be able to take the box apart and use the frames after the wedding), so Ididn't want to tape anything directly to the box.

11) Attach your lazy susan to the bottom of the box (optional--if you don't want your box to spin, you don't need it). This is another area where I had to improvise. My lazy susan had a dip in it so that the middle of the lazy susan wasn't touching my box (which made it difficult to attach). I cut a few square pieces of foam core and taped them to the lazy susan to build up the middle. I then rolled little pieces of duct tape and stuck them to the foam board and taped it to the bottom of my box. It's pretty sturdy--I used a lot of duct tape to make sure of that!

This is the taped-up lazy susan right before I turned it over and attached it to the bottom of the box. Thank you to whoever invented duct tape!

12) Turn your box back over, place the top on, and you're finished!

The finished product.

This is a view of the finished top of the box.

Another angle of the finished box.

I hope this helps someone! It seems more complicated than it actually is. If you or your fiance are handy with a drill and a ruler, it's really not a problem at all. Good luck!

The worst conceivable letter to receive with your wedding dress.

2011-01-05T13:06:00.002-05:00

I hope I never receive something like this!!

Bridal Shower

2011-01-04T10:18:00.000-05:00

So my Maid of Honor (MOH), Diana, told me yesterday that she ordered the invitations for my Bridal Shower, and I am super excited! Seeing as how we received a wedding invite in the mail yesterday, I thought about other invitations. In this invitation, the bride included registry information, which to the best of my knowledge, is considered a faux-pas in the world of wedding etiquette. So I was sure to contact my MOH and let her know to somehow put the information on the bridal shower invitations as that is proper etiquette for registry information. I am allowed to refer to my wedding website for my guests for additional information, which includes the registry information; however, it is considered rude to put it in with my invitations, as is looks like I am just fishing for gifts. Since Diana can put it in with her invites and it is perfectly acceptable, that is the route we will take!

What else??? So it looks like the wedding will either be 4 or 4:30, we haven't decided. Can't lie that we were both incredibly disappointed when we received the news that we could not move the start time back; especially since the first person we emailed said that we could... I guess we will just have to suck it up and deal with it... but that does not make it suck any less!!

Today there is a 6 hour sale on personalizationmall.com (my favorite personalization store by far!). It goes from 9am-3pm and if you enter the code sale25 in the checkout you can save 25% off of your entire order. Well yours truly bought personalized toasting flutes for the wedding. I have been debating back and forth about these for no less than 2 months, and when the sale iron is hot, STRIKE!

The website shows you what the items will look like personalized, so this is the projected personalization of the flutes, which I am super excited about!

I am also excited because my friend, Gaby, decided to join me for a couple days! Tonight, we are going to David's Bridal in West Springfield for her to purchase her gown for the wedding, which I am excited about! Cyndi, my future mother-in-law (FMIL) will be joining us and most likely trying on dresses for Gaby to see. I am certainly bringing my camera tonight to get some photos so that I can collect votes! I already know which one is going to win but it is only nice to give the dresses a fair chance!

That is it for now. Hope everyone is having a happy and healthy new year thus far!

Aggravated with ECBC

2010-12-31T11:14:00.000-05:00

It is tough trying to plan a wedding when you do not know the time it will start! I have contacted people at ECBC (East Chop Beach Club) and have received 2 different answers. One says that of course we can move our reception time back as the club is closed, and the other says absolutely not, as they are not technically closed so members will still be using the beach. All I want to know is when to start my ceremony so I know what to put on the invites!

As of now the time is as we thought, ceremony at 4 pm and then people will head down to the beach club for the reception around 4:30ish, though we are not allowed to serve alcohol until after 5... that will be interesting!