Half Glass Full

I Want to Ride My Bicycle

2012-01-23T11:09:00.000-08:00

I've had a few people recently ask me how to use social networking sites. This kills me. Actually, it infuriates me. A while back I learned that if I was going to learn something I'd have to get into the program and use it. This happened because I asked someone to teach me how to edit video on FCP and they said...we can't. You'll have to teach yourself. This was for my college degree in broadcasting...but that's a different rant.

Anyhow, as I grow up in this technological world, I realize that no one is going to add training wheels to my technology. I simply have to learn how to ride the bicycle of social media and advance my skills on my own. You would be so surprised what you can teach yourself. I really cannot stand the excuses for not using social media when it's crucial that you get on board with it already! Excuses like "I've tried but it's all too fast for me" or "You're just younger so you're used to these types of things".

I'm sorry, did you hear me saying to my parents..."you're older so you're used to riding a bicycle". "I just don't understand where I put my feet on the peddles". It's the same principle. Or, even worse...I bet people felt pretty stupid for telling Henry Ford that the car just wouldn't catch on...or that it was "too complicated".

Seriously people, get a grip! Just use the product, site, etc. Stop making excuses and take a leap of faith. Your computer is not going to blow up because you decided to tweet a disjointed sentence. Oh, and I have attribution to this post as I know a woman in her 70's who uses social media regularly and other computer based programs with no worries.

So no, I will not hold your hand through your first tweet. I'm pretty sure they tell you how to do it when you sign up. Take your training wheels off...and go join the rest of the world.

Practice Makes Better

2012-01-18T10:14:00.000-08:00

This is my lunch break I am giving myself and therefore I will write. In 2005 I had contemplated changing my college major from broadcasting to marketing & advertising. Silly me, I didn't change it. I had some kind of crazy notion that I somehow I would make broadcasting lucrative and exciting for myself.

After a short 10 month stint at WCAX working in news production on the weekends, I realized it wasn't the "dream" career I had created in my head. Same old topics of scummy politicians, cows, and a new restaurant opening up in town.

Please don't think I want to downgrade the news business. Those reporters work long hours, and some of them uncover information that is priceless to society. Other reporters do find a way to make their job into a work of art. Those are the most talented of the bunch. I personally just didn't have the patience.

After working as a manager in fast food, and a minion at a printer company answering phones...I was asked by a CEO (and acquaintance) via LinkedIn to apply for his daughters job. Honestly, I really didn't know what I was applying for. I knew the pay was better and the superiors breathing down my neck were minimal. What I didn't realize was that I would also have unlimited Diet Coke and the ability to engage and enhance my talents.

I took one graphic design course, and one advertising course in college. I knew I enjoyed designing and event planning but now it has become 75% of my job description. I've even been able to establish a social networking presence for my company.

So what is the point of me blabbing on about my job? Well, 1. few people actually know what I do. 2. I am so sick and tired of people complaining about their job. If they don't like their career path then explore something different. I'm not perfect at design...but practice has made me better!

View my most recent designs here

Good Things

2012-01-13T13:41:00.000-08:00

It's come to my recent realization that the last few blog posts I've written have been fiercely negative. Well, negative to me. I'm quite a positive person. I thought it might be fun to showcase some of my favorite things, websites, etc...in this blog post. I hope you enjoy these things too...

1. Mastercuts. The price is low and they do an amazing job on my hair. If you live near Burlington, VT then ask for Sarah, she's the manager and da bomb!

This is the cut circa November 2011

2. SnackTools. This site helps you create some cool digital items for your marketing. I created a flipbook with the eDOC style guide I created! Visit their site here

3. Twitter. I've been using this a lot lately as people get annoyed with me posting on FB. You can find me @cc636

5. TuneIn Radio. This iPhone App is AMAZING! I found my college radio station on here, and a sweet GotRadio.com mash-ups station too! (Download the app here)

4. My Mr. Okay, cheesy, I know...but as of lately, he is one of my favorites!

We dressed alike for a holiday party. Our goal was to win an ugly sweater contest, although we were the only ones who really dressed up. The boy on the shirt is the little guy from "A Christmas Story", also one of my favorite things.

You're Killing Orphans

2012-01-05T12:44:00.000-08:00

I'd like to proclaim in this blog post that the Kardashians are killing orphans.

Yes, that's a strong statement. How, do you ask, are they killing orphans? All right. The Kardashians are not literally killing orphans...but that is what I think of when I see how much money they waste on useless crap like their giant homes with an unnecessary amount of rooms and bathtubs.

As you watch the show (yes I'm guilty) you see them cut from one girls family home to another. Of course it makes sense that as the "K-Gals" get married they procure a home. But does it have to be the size of one of the embassy's in D.C.?

This brings me to the orphans. Mother Teresa had nothing but the glasses on her face, her bible, and the clothes on her back...yet she was living in ultimate bliss. She traveled the world visiting the impoverished and helped so many even though she had nothing.

Don't get me wrong. I love to shop. But if I had unlimited funds you better believe I'd be booking a trip overseas to hand out some Gucci to the needy. Or, perhaps helping those in U.S. community? The Kardashians could feed hundreds every month with the cash they spend to gas up their Escalades.

This isn't to just knock the Kardashians. I'm referencing all reality TV stars who aren't contributing real art and are getting paid to run their polished yappy mouths. I'm okay with paying money for cable to pay for hard working actors who spend hours a day slaving over script memorization and building the essence of the characters they're trying to portray. I'm also all right with paying journalists a decent wage.

Oh...wait...let me rant about that for a moment. A journalist makes on average $20,000-$30,000 a year if they're lucky. According to www.celebritynetworth.com Kim Kardashian made $40,000 per episode! Putting her net worth around 35 million. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

Dead orphans. No excuses.

Find out more about Kims wealth here: http://www.celebritynetworth.com/richest-celebrities/kim-kardashian-net-worth/

Christmas 2011

2011-12-29T12:17:00.000-08:00

So, I've decided to go back to my old Blogger template. I don't like the fresh art decco template I was using previously. Something about it is impersonal and screams literary snob.

I'd like to write about my Christmas. It was simply wonderful. I don't usually get too personal in my blog...so I won't. I'll recap on this holiday in broad terms and speak specifically about my gifts.

I received...

A. Space heater
B. Necklace

Okay...I won't list out all of my gifts. However, I'd like to say that this year was the best Christmas I've had in many years. I didn't have to finish finals and fly home. I had a boyfriend. Oh, I did not hate my job, or have to work in the mall, and had enough money to get something swell for most of the people I care about. Emphasis on "most". I'm no Rockefeller.

Some things I'd like to touch upon for the future...

1. Make a list of the gifts you're buying and who you're buying them for. This would've been really helpful.

2. Give others a list, or post something online. Don't let people go all hay wire on the gift giving unless you want footie PJ's of the adult variety. That being said...those people who gave me gifts without knowing what I wanted did an AMAZING job this year!

3. If you receive a gift...effing say THANK YOU! Doesn't matter if you're superior to that person in any way. A simple THANK YOU will mean quite a bit. Oh...yes...the phrase is THANK YOU! *This comment is not intended for any of my friends/roomie as they all did show ample gratitude for the items received*

4. Have some variety in your Christmas music selections. Might I suggest the Sister Hazel Christmas playlist on Pandora.com

5. Don't be like me and send a mass number of pre-designed Christmas cards with no special written message on them. As I received cards from my friends I felt like a scrooge for the card I sent them. For that I am sorry!!!! Also, I may have missed some of you as I created a FB event to send cards and if you didn't get your address to me on FB then you likely didn't get a card.

6. When will the entertainment industry come out with a Christmas movie that trumps National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation?

Happy New Year!

Blonde Technology

2011-12-06T09:50:00.000-08:00

This photo is me. I am blonde. Do we have a bit of a reputation of being less than intelligent creatures? Yes. Now to my rant. Just because I am blonde does not mean that I am not understanding your technology properly.

I grew up with technology. My father and I even built a remote control car from scratch when I was a child. I picked up my first video camera before the age of 12, and have been what you would call "tech savvy" for most of my youth and adult life. I am not the one that can program your software, nor can I re-build your computer, however, I do expect to be taken seriously when I say a piece of software is NOT working properly.

Time and time again, if I mention to a male counterpart that something is broken...they look at me as if I'm just being a "dumb blonde" and rarely take me seriously. It isn't until the third time when it really isn't working that they finally believe me and fix said issue. This has happened to me in every job I've worked in.

You think I don't know how to Google a term to understand what you're talking about? I don't let technology take me over. We're supposed to be in control, not the other way around. If it doesn't work...I want it fixed. Otherwise, what is the point in using that program or equipment to begin with? Some could say the same about our government...but that's another post topic for a future time.

How exactly are we occupying Vermont?

2011-12-03T11:46:00.000-08:00

I've tried to ignore this movement. I've tried to move on with my life as a part of the 99% and not make a stink, or even make a point of trying to understand what I thought were the intricate details of this large and vast movement throughout the United States.

Now I'm annoyed. I was flipping through the channels on my basic digital cable and saw that one of the local government channels was airing a meeting from the Occupy Vermont movement from November 12th, just after one of the Occupy Vermont protesters committed suicide in Burlington's City Hall Park.

I was intrigued and began watching. Now let me be VERY clear. This post is not about what the "Occupy" movement is about, but rather how unbelievably disorganized and chaotic it has become.

The photo affixed to this post is of one of the moderators of this meeting. As you can see, he clearly believes that it's okay to make a physical public statement, nor does he feel proper grooming is necessary to be a productive member of society. He also really wants a hug. I kept watching and realized that there were a few other men that didn't feel shaving was a standard in society.

Grooming isn't my real concern however, the blatant redundant conversation and disorganization of their discussion was nonsense. The use of phrases and words like "friendly amendment" "resolution" "proposal" "clarifying question" along with different hand gestures to clarify statements created a room full of chaotic over-discussion and lack of real understanding among the parties involved.

After watching for about an hour, it seemed the only "resolution" they had made was to understand what the police were actually doing to the crime scene at City Hall Park, and where to move their tents. I realized that if our American government went to this form of policy creation...nothing would get accomplished. I've decided to give our Occupy Vermonter's a couple of tips.

1. Take a shower, shave, and match your clothes. Some of you look normal and thus will carry more weight among other constituents that don't understand your viewpoints. BUT if you look like a schizophrenic blues musician you're more unlikely to garner a response from the working class...AND the 1% whom you really need to convince.

2. Make a printed agenda beforehand. Give people the opportunity to submit their topic ideas, give them the option to vote online even, but have your plan ready ahead of time before you meet. This will reduce the time you spend simply voting on why you've even shown up to the meeting.

3. Write a bill. I still have no idea specifically what you want except more money. However, that surprises me considering most of the people protesting look like they wouldn't know what to do with money even if they had any!

4. Gather in places that make sense. Go to the media outlets and make clear and defined statements, plant yourself for the afternoon outside city offices, or companies that have been embezzling money.

5. Use your age gap. During this occupy airing I viewed, the only people speaking were young college aged individuals. Perhaps you should appeal to all age groups? I don't hear occupiers talking a lot about retirement, pensions, and home buyers. If you want to fulfill the American dream...you need to appeal to all demographics.

6. Finally, what is wrong with the terms that have already been coined in our government? Why is the word amendment cruel? Why does it now have to be called a "friendly amendment"? Was it previously unfriendly? From what I learned in school, many of our amendments to the constitution gave more freedom to the American people. I don't think that is very unfriendly.

That is my two and a half cents. Please comment.

So Many Options

2011-11-30T08:58:00.000-08:00

Something has been weighing on me quite a bit recently. OPTIONS.

Why do we need so many? I don't like making poor choices. I'm pretty calculated in everything I do. Even things that don't seem to be calculated...are. For example: I am most aware that if I bring cookies to the employees at the UPS Store in Middlebury for Christmas that they will give me more free stuff for the company. Or, they'll go above and beyond their call of duty as "print coordinator extraordinaires" (seriously...that's what their name tags say) to carry out some outlandish project I need completed because I'm too lazy to sit at a paper cutter for two hours.

So, I like to manipulate people, it's no different than the JC Penny's sales women who tells you that you'll save 10% if you open a store credit card, only to find out they will molest you in APR rates for the next 7-10 years.

But the choices that bother me are the choices that are just unnecessary. Choices like fruity toothpaste. Do you think I bite into a pomegranate and say to myself..."Gee I wish they'd mix this with mint and synthetic chemicals so I could lather my teeth with it". No, it's more like "UGH, I got another seed on my top. Why is it weird for adults to wear bibs in public?!".

Or what about suntan lotion. Is there really a difference between SPF 70 and SPF 90. If you're Irish you're going to look like a lobster no matter what you do. Also, once you've already been tanning for 27 years don't expect that bottle with the little girl baby bottom being attacked by a dog to protect you from skin cancer (see above photo for reference).

What are some choices that anger you?

One Month Re-cap: The McDonalds Monster, or is it?

2011-11-02T08:17:00.000-07:00

Well, my last post was about how I was going to go one month without eating McDonalds...and I did. Did I lose weight, no. I actually gained weight. Do I feel better? Yes, I don't crash as much during the afternoon. Did I save money? NO! I spent it buying food at other places.

What I did learn about myself and food in the last month is that I do enjoy cooking, and I'm good at it. I also need to eat healthier food that isn't processed by midgets in Jersey and infused with 10,000 chemicals I can't pronounce.

Interested in what I'm talking about? Watch this film: http://www.foodmatters.tv/

McDonalds Fasting

2011-09-30T12:50:00.000-07:00

Well, McDonalds will hate me for posting this. Oh well. I've had enough. Today I cleaned out my car and to my disgust there were far too many McDonalds bags than I thought I had accumulated. So, as tomorrow is the beginning of the month, and my birthday, I think it's time at age 26 that I really take control of my health...and kiss the golden arches goodbye.

So you're aware, I can't do this alone. I've hired a team of consultants to ride in my car each time I pass said fast coronary establishment. These consultants will be taking my pulse, just to make sure I'm not having too severe a withdrawal. I paid them extra to slap me in the face each time I start humming "I'm lovin it'".

No, I won't be eating a surplus of tofu. You hippies can stand down. I don't want your hemp burgers. My desire is just to cut this one unhealthy tie to the underworld of food. Eventually I can remove others...but right now...we are at war Mr. Dollar Menu.

Should anyone feel the need to join me on this adventure, do so in the month of October. Post your findings below. I bet your findings will include: more money, less asphyxiation after eating, and joy.

Dating in Fiscal 2011'

2011-08-30T21:06:00.000-07:00

I've come to realize that we as a North American dating race are picky and desperate at the same time. It's really quite fantastic. I enjoy dating, and I think it's fun to meet new people. I also enjoy biscuits and gravy, rock concerts, and Diet Coke. But I guess I can't marry biscuits.

Anyhow, the Onion summed it up this week...

Black Liquid Bliss

2011-08-30T13:12:00.000-07:00

A while back I wrote a post about pudding. This time I'd like to write a post about Diet Coke, or Coke Zero.

I've recently discovered Coke Zero and am currently on a 'high', but I was a bit disturbed as I looked at the can. The can is black. I personally think this might be a poor marketing choice. Why the black can? My relevant memory goes to the concept that they were marketing towards men because women were the primary drinkers of Diet Coke.

So black is manly? I don't see many men drinking other black drinks. OJ is usually orange, and beer is often the color of urine, or tree bark.

I thought a little more about this can. I thought about the chemicals I was consuming in my body. I began to associate the color of the can with the chemicals I was putting in my body. My body began to associate the chemicals with the color black. It was really kind of a euphorically intense thought process.

My final thought lead me to believe that if I drank Coke Zero I would become an unhealthy man.

...I still haven't finished this can.

Passive Aggressive

2011-08-10T09:39:00.000-07:00

pas·sive-ag·gres·sive
Adjective: Of or denoting a type of behavior or personality characterized by indirect resistance to the demands of others and an avoidance of direct confrontation, as in procrastinating, pouting, or misplacing important materials.

I would like to focus this post on the Passive Aggressive. Honestly, you people make me want to punch you in the solar plexus. Not that I would ever actually determine the direct location of someones solar plexus and bunch them, but seriously, you really anger me.

Now I mean 'you' in a general and plural form. Passive aggressive behavior is not intelligent. You are not being 'patient' or 'kind' by being passive aggressive. You are wasting my TIME! What are some examples of passive aggressive you might ask?

Consider the following...

Blank stares without actually processing what the other person is saying, then immediately following their thought with your own two cents. Which turns out to be about $10 of conversation that is pointless.

Responding to an email and copying everyone and their mothers sisters daddies cousin.

That painful constipated expression you give when you know there is something that should be said but you do not want to say it.

Leaving sticky notes on food inside a fridge (literally happened to my friend)

Out doing someone in their job, leadership position, etc...even if it's not your place to be involved.

Now there are so many other ways in which people act out their passive aggressive tendencies. I just ask that you be honest, direct, and specific. Pull off the band-aid, for heavens sakes...my band-aid doesn't have care bears on it.

How I feel About Rednecks

2011-08-01T21:05:00.000-07:00

Social Networks Rot My Brain

2011-07-23T07:55:00.000-07:00

Created by Oatmeal

So I took this quiz off of the funniest site I've found in years www.theoatmeal.com and by golly I feel like a loser. Worst of all I now have Google+ for which I will then utilize as my new social drug of choice.

One would say...Christal, this isn't healthy. However, I have found so many advantages to social networking. Let's discuss...

1. It helps me wake up in the morning. When I open my eyes and check the phone for the time I am also able to immediately check to see who's commented on that photo of food I posted exactly 7 hours prior.

3. Personal planner. Hey, when did I do that thing that I had to remember? According to my FB status it was 14 hours ago.

4. Family liason. I should communicate with my family more..."Dad, nice photo of your garden".

6. Telephone book. Hrrrmp, how am I going to get a hold of that perfect stranger I need to text right now. Oh, they were dumb enough to post their digits on FB...i'll sync them to my phone.

7. Resume. Gee, this perspective employer is going to FB stalk me. I better post only pretty headshots and add jobs like "Administrative Toilet Brushing Supervisor"

8. Yearbook. All girls you ever wanted to get fat...did.

Camping

2011-07-19T11:37:00.000-07:00

Who, after discovering they could build a house, decided it would be a good idea to put people back outside in the dirt on blankets inside giant nylon bags? To what am I referring?

...camping.

I like camping. I do. I like the fresh air, fires, outdoor activities, and ample sun. But there are some things about camping that make all those wonderful experiences seem like the perks to the products you by on an infomercial.

Drawbacks...

You might find yourself listening to a rabid racoon about to naw on your tent. That is until someone decides to wake up and chase it with the knife they most likely made in Boy Scouts.

Other drawbacks to camping include but are not limited to: eating rotten food because you didn't purchase enough ice for your cooler, swollen ankles due to mosquito bites, weight gain from s'mores, discovering that the word "s'mores" is utter nonsense, dealing with the elderly who spend all summer at the campsite, dirty feet, and hating the people you're with simply because you cannot stand to hear the same voice 24/7 through nylon or otherwise.

But yes, I love camping. I'll do it again. Then I'll recouperate and think of all the awkward moments shared with those who where so awfully too close to me for the short period of time I slept in that nylon bag.

Epic Company Email Fail

2011-07-08T06:06:00.000-07:00

...I haven't even purchased anything from this company yet. TMI? I think yes...

Click on the photo to enlarge...

Selfish McSnarky Pants

2011-06-19T21:26:00.000-07:00

So today I realized that I had left my keys at a local restaurant. It's horrible knowing that you can't get into anything. It's like when you go to the White House for a tour and you know you can only stay on that predetermined route with carpet and red ropes; and all you want to do is run off the path and find the president. Yeah...that kind of feeling.

Well, anyhow. It affected me probably more than it should've. I was being a super selfish mcsnarky pants and being whiny. I've noticed that I've been that way a lot lately. So...I'm going to list here the good things in my life. I hope you also have good thing in your life too, or you can at least find the good in what you have. If not, perhaps you should reevaluate. Life could always be worse. You could be dead. And who wants that? I mean is there fountain Diet Coke in heaven? I'll delay that progression so I can be on earth for longer, because gosh darn it I love my fountain Diet Coke.

So here are the things I like about my life. Call them blessings, positives, fortunes, whatever you want to call them. They make me happy so I'm going to list them to feel even better! ... Oh THESE ARE IN NO CERTAIN ORDER. So don't kill me if I put marriage after Mcgriddles.

=Spell check
-Kittens
-The smell in Vermont after it rains
-Shoes
-Family
-Blogging
-The ability to have faith in a religion and the freedom to practice it
-Good friends
-Good roommates
-Clementines
-My roomies cat who is super cute and nice
-Having a car
-My job
-Jeans that make my bum look good
-Guy friends I can just do nothing with
-Girl friends I can talk to about the guys I do more than nothing with ;)
-Food
-Graduating college
-Living in a safe community
-Losing 60lbs
-Being healthy and having the ability to walk, talk, see, and hear
-All the things I've learned from all the jobs I've had
-The ability to talk to anyone without fear of judgement
-The ability to forgive no matter what
-Belief in God and what he's done for me so many times
-Diet Coke
-Knowing talented people and learning from them
-Humor
-All the men I've dated and what I've learned from those experiences
-Cupcakes
-Knowing how to sing and doing it pretty well
-Gospel choirs - and the fact that they accepted this white girl into their choir
-Dance
-Warm weather
-The smell of wood stoves in the fall filing the air outside
-Learning quickly and adapting quickly in most situations
-A comfortable bed and quiet place to sleep
-Finding nice clothes for cheap! I hate spending too much money on clothes. They're all made by the same people overseas. Reduce and reuse!
-The ability to be thrifty when I need to, and enjoying it
-Having traveled all over the U.S. and all the people I've met
-My childhood which was seemingly not good but the experiences made me stronger than I'll ever know
-The sound of rain on a warm summer night
-Sunsets over the lake
-PB & J
-The internet and it being free from regulation
-The two rings I wear, especially the one from my parents.
-Living on my own
-Good smelling candles
-All the AMAZING experiences I had in college and over the last few years with people who have truly enriched my life more than they'll know

What makes you happy? What are you grateful for?

Ignorance Isn't Bliss

2011-06-09T12:41:00.000-07:00

With age comes wisdom

BLAH BLAH BLAH

I'm going to take this concept a step back, and SCREAM at college students for just a moment. Are you about to go to college? Are you currently in college? Well you better know what the H-E-Double-Hockey-Bruins-Sticks you're doing there.

No, this post isn't about hockey, or the best teams in the NHL. It is about gaining enough knowledge for yourself in order to prevent you from working at Burger King as a "Shift Supervisor" and thinking you've gained some kind of status.

Today I finished two marketing pieces for my job. The work involved in creating these required me to design, proofread, draft, email, research, and understand the initial request given me. NEWSFLASH---this just in---I didn't major in advertising or graphic design in college. Nope, broadcasting.

But here's the glimmer of hope...I knew in college that I was going to need more than just the skills required to film a news story. So I took an advertising class, and thank heavens...also a course in graphic design. You bet your little orphan Annies bottom dollar it paid off.

You feel stupid? I'm not done. There are still millions of people out there who swear on their mothers grave they won't get Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, and for some...a cell phone. WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU? It's like free marketing for yourself! I've been offered jobs more than once via Facebook and LinkedIn. In fact, I didn't even need to submit a paper resume for one employer, he just wanted to see my LinkedIn profile.

So I want you to go sit in the corner and think about what you've done, or haven't done. Oh and one other thing, the next time you ask me a stupid question I'm going to tell you to use Google.

Lady Men

2011-06-01T07:47:00.000-07:00

I'm a bit concerned as of late the state of men in society. Namely, where are they? Ouch Christal, that's harsh!

...too bad Mr.! I've noticed that society is now producing what I like to call "Fem-e-Men" or FEM for short. What are FEMs? Pretty much any dude who has lost the will to act like a man. And who do I blame for FEMs?

Women.

Yes, that's right, you thought you would get some kind of feminine kick out of reading this post didn't you? Well it's your fault that men act like women. We've dumped so much of our lady chemicals all over society that it's ruining MAN-kind. We even created a new chemical called "testrigyn"...yea, I made that up too.

So what is a FEM? Simply put, any man that's put aside most traditional values to live a life devoid of women, power, and esteem. Do I want to see more pride soaked Donald Trumps in the world? Heavens no! But something has to be done about these sissy men.

So how do you break free of being a FEM?

1. Don't be afraid to ask women out, all kinds of women, and yes...if you can, pay for dinner! Otherwise be creative and do something cheap but fun.

2. Stop thinking you're a loser. No man is a loser. No one is a loser period. But men can easily break free of loserdom by just thinking they're not one. Esteem is hott.

3. For the love of all that is good in the world...get a job! So you want to be an artist? Do it on the side. Sorry buddy, but men need jobs. And one job leads to a better job, etc.

4. When a lady enters the room, offer her your chair. Don't sit on the couch like the lazy FEM you are and make her feel worthless because she has to squat on the ground like a dude.

5. Finally, don't wear women's pants. Just don't. Only on special occasions like concerts? Nope, not even then.

Ladies, you won't know you're surrounded by FEMs until you meet some good men. When you do, this post will really enlighten you! But I ask that you stop treating men like your equals to the point that they're afraid to speak to you.

Things I've Learned...

2011-05-10T13:12:00.000-07:00

So I'm about to start yet another new job. As I was driving back from replacing the recalled steering column in my Cobalt I was thinking about the things I wish I knew beforehand, and the things I've learned from my jobs, education, parents, strangers with money.

So here are some things I've learned from the places I've been and such.

Working in Fast Food

People will treat you like the gum on the bottom of their shoes when they are ordering. It doesn't matter, you will get out of that job eventually. Also, these jobs can pay more than office jobs. So, potentially it's your pride or your wallet which are the key factors.

Also, don't offer a Muslim a beef taco...it doesn't go over well.

Putting Together Concerts & Events in College

"The hardest thing you'll have to deal with as a leader isn't the job itself, it's the people." -Kris Powell

This is true, and people in bands can be snobs...but don't forget, they're talented, and often worked very hard to master this talent.

Working for a Printer Company

Don't pick up a box of toner and hold it over your new tan khakis. The toner could potential spill onto your clothing.

There is politics in ALL business, and business in ALL politics.

I can't keep food at my desk or I will eat it.

Don't ever think you don't have potential and don't let others dictate how you should feel. It's good to have evidence for your actions, but don't dwell on past experiences.

Charitable work is important and can make you feel good.

There are great people among you.

Working in TV News

Anchors are people who work jobs. Being in the entertainment industry is still work. It can be very stressful and for many it doesn't pay crap. Have some respect for these people, but don't fear them. They're just like you. The only difference is they don't break into hives when speaking in front of people.

TV journalists work harder than print journalists (if they're good reporters). Sorry, it's true. Not only do they have to write the story...they have to film it, edit it, voice it, and look good doing it. They sacrifice their personal liberty far beyond any print journalist could.

Look where you're going with auto cameras or you may almost injure the 1st female governor of your state.

Teaching Religious Classes

People cling to basic concepts. Doctrine deep individuals you need pay no mind to if they're simply flaunting their intelligence. Heck, pay no mind to anyone who flaunts their intelligence. That's called pride...and pride is stupid.

Working with Youth

They're mini adults, they listen and see your example. They're not yet old enough to make strong decisions but have strong opinions. They will absorb your ideals as a parent or a mentor so proceed with caution.

Having a Mentally Ill Mother

Don't judge people with disabilities. If you do, you are a douche. Some things are beyond our control, love can conquer even the worst circumstances.

Friends

Enjoy experiences, be kind, be giving, remember birthdays, send cards, don't share your drinks unless you want to get sick, always ask their opinion when shopping for shoes, their habits don't have to be your habits, send letters, travel to see them, don't judge them ever.

Image of our Nation

2011-05-02T07:45:00.000-07:00

After the announcement that Osama Bin Ladin had been captured and killed. NYC

Okay, my blog posts are usually upbeat with a snarky twist. This one probably will be too...but I have to write about our current events. And the photo in this post. I stole this photo from www.cnn.com. It was given to them by Getty Images to be exact.

I want to pose a question with this photo: how many soldiers do you know that dress like this in their uniform? Isn't it a requirement that you be clean shaven in order to wear your camouflage/ACU?

Taking the issue even further. Did this kid realize he was representing his country when he put on this garment? I think perhaps he did. So I guess we're all hippies. I suppose I'm a bit extreme in my feelings about this photograph but it's unsettling, and I doubt I'm the only individual who feels this way. If the men at my private college had to trim their sideburns to take a test...this dude needs a hair cut.

Horn

2011-04-22T06:57:00.000-07:00

I like to use the horn when I drive. I see no problem with it. I guess in Vermont the horn isn't used quite as much as other states. Why not? It's a vary valuable tool! Take for example the "tools" that roam around Burlington.

I take particular joy in scaring the pee out of a drunken college student trying to jay walk on Main St. (busy street) at night. Especially the ones dressed all in the black so you don't see them until they're in sight of your headlights.

Some say I'm rude, but I think I'm teaching them a lesson. When you walk when you're not supposed to, or cut me off, you should be reprimanded. Because you remember it. And if you remember it, you're likely to NOT make the same mistake again. Unless of course you're an idiot. The type of person who takes great pleasure in watching your recorded VHS tape of the cops chasing OJ's Ford Bronco over and over again. In that case I should probably just run you over.

Cupcakes

2011-04-18T12:42:00.000-07:00


Cupcakes by Terri Wimble/Photo by Christal Collette

I will not lie when I say I have no self control over cupcakes. Who invented this joy in a paper wrapper? Actually you can click here to find out.

Anyhow, a co-workers wife has decided she wants to open a cupcake shop. Good for her! BAD for me. These delightful little creatures have showed up near my desk 3 TIMES in the past month or so. And they're amazing. She's made cherry, strawberry, mint, and today chocolate.

So this is my call to cupcakes! If you're having a rough day, long week, horrible existence...try a cupcake! It's certain to brighten your spirits, and increase your sugar levels.

HAPPY MONDAY!

Secret Lives

2011-04-05T07:31:00.000-07:00

I think everyone more or less has some kind of secret life. With the advent of technology this is made pretty simple. It used to be that there were pen names. These were names that writers used to protect their identity. Oftentimes when they realized they could actually make a living they revealed their pen names.

My pen name would probably be Frisky McGriddles. Look for it on shelves in 2013...

So why the need for "secret identities"?

Simple. We are ALL weird. Every single last one of us. We all do weird things. Some people do more apparent weird things than others. I have to unplug many things before I leave the house. It's just something I do. Am I afraid of fire? Well yeah. But not all weird things stem from fears. Some people really really like the smell of goats, or making origami, or reading vampire fiction.

What are some of the weirdest things I've noticed about people? Most recently I found a photo on FB of someone posed behind a cardboard cutout of George W. Bush. But then I found it endearing. She likes George W. Bush enough to inform others...this is my cause that I am "literally" standing behind.

Granted, I'm not necessarily an aficionado of Mr. G-Dub-yah, but I respect what makes her happy. So I say embrace the weird in people. When they make strange comments...you can laugh, but laugh with joy. And remember, you ARE weird, dysfunctional, and somewhat awkward.

LOVE,

Frisky McGriddles