Dear Classic Rock, I have a few questions.

A reader question for Meat Loaf...

2010-03-31T09:38:00.003-05:00

Dear Meat Loaf,Why, after saying that you are "tired of words" in Two Out of Three Ain't Bad, does it take you 343 more words to finish what you have to say?Excellent question, reader*. Did you really count? I'll take your word for it. I normally avoid answering reader questions, preferring instead to act as a conduit to the rockers. But in this case I think I can clear things up with just two

A reader question for Electric Light Orchestra….

2010-03-12T08:25:00.000-06:00

Reader Becky D. has long been perplexed by the ELO song, Do Ya, which begins: In this life I've seen everything I can see, woman,I've seen lovers flying through the air hand in hand.I've seen babies dancing in the midnight sun,And I've seen dreams that came from the heavenly skies above.I've seen old men crying at their own gravesidesAnd I've seen pigs all sitting watching picture slides,But I

A quick one for Aerosmith...

2010-03-10T06:32:00.000-06:00

Dear Carly Simon's mom Steven Tyler, How big were the gym lockers at your high school? Was it really possible to fit three young ladies into one of them? Full lyrics to Walk This Way here. Question for classic rocker? Submit.

An Automotive Omnibus: Reader questions for The Cars...

2010-03-05T09:52:00.000-06:00

“You can knock me. I don’t care.You can mock me. I don’t care.You can rock me just about anywhere…”--The Cars, You’re All I’ve Got Tonight Ah, The Cars. Good memories and fond associations. I can mock them. They don’t care. But my heart's just not in it. The Rockmocker may be going a little soft. I guess my allegiance to The Cars mainly comes down to three things:a) The

A question for Ronnie Van Zandt...

2010-02-26T13:35:00.001-06:00

re: Simple Man Dear Ronnie,I know that you are in heaven with your mama now, and I hesitate to bring up anything that might cause an emotional rift between you two, but I just have to ask something about the song, Simple Man. You know the song, the one that goes:Be a simple kind of man. And maybe some day you'll love and understand. Baby, be a simple kind of man. Won't you do this for me son,

A reader question for Journey...

2010-02-19T09:47:00.005-06:00

Rockmocker reader T.I. of Chicago* writes: I'm hoping you can pose a rather vexing question to the fellows from Journey. In their song Lights, Steve Perry sings, "When the lights go down in the city, and the sun shines on the bay..." Exactly what time of day is Mr. Perry describing? Lights generally go down around bedtime, and yet the sun would shine on the bay during the morning because the bay

Speaking of the pompatus of love...

2010-02-11T10:07:00.002-06:00

Dear Steve Miller,It's been awhile since I've written. I hope you are still being well and truly rocked by your sweet baby. I know to what great lengths you went to make that happen. Just a quick question today regarding The Joker. You say:People keep talkin' about me baby, say I'm doin' you wrong (doin' you wrong),But don't worry, don't worry, don't worry now mama,Cause I'm right here at

Rock is dead.

2010-02-08T16:36:00.002-06:00

We don't traffic in concert reviews here at Rockmocker Central Command, and after seeing/feeling/touching/healing yesterday's half-time extravaganza, it's just as well. No slipped nipples, thankfully. No denim-clad crotch-into-camera slides. Just flashes of Pete's white belly whilst nominally windmilling and two rock and roll heroes attempting the impossible--to live up to their legacy. Everyone

A reader question for The Who...

2010-02-05T10:00:00.000-06:00

Whoa... The Rockmocker apologizes for the looong delay between posts! While I cannot divulge the location, for the last several days I was attending--okay, I was keynote speaker at--a Monsters of Classic Rock summit meeting in Reykjavic, Iceland...oops! I divulged. ...Anyway, amazing what you learn when the masks come off and you're just "hanging out" with superstars. You might be interested to

A Rockmocker call to action!

2010-01-26T13:01:00.002-06:00

Greetings fellow dwellers of The Rockosphere! The Rockmocker is currently on assignment (i.e. busy with paying work) and will likely not be posting for the remainder of this week. But I do have important news to share... The Rockmocker has recently secured funding to break ground on The Rockmocker Center for the Study of Dubious Metaphors for Sexual Congress in Rock Lyrics. Now I need

A question for Loverboy...

2010-01-21T21:39:00.001-06:00

You say "everybody," but what about the people who have to work on the weekend? Below: Will Ferrell doing Robert Goulet doing Loverboy. I could not, in good conscience, ask you to watch the actual band. He starts singing at 1:45, but it's all pretty funny. Question for a rocker? Query the rockmocker. Email the Rockmocker!

I hate to bother you again, Stevie Nicks...

2010-01-20T08:07:00.000-06:00

It's about Landslide. I know everybody loves this song--especially the ladies--and I don't mean to be petty, it's just... I've spent a fair amount of time in the mountains. I've looked at a lot of snow, but I have yet to see my reflection. Shadow? Certainly. Reflection? No. I read that you wrote this song in Aspen, but I've looked at Aspen snow too. Nothing. Tell me, Stevie Nicks, where does

A question for Judas Priest...

2010-01-17T15:53:00.001-06:00

I suppose that by now a helpful fan has hipped you to this, but were you aware that the actual, correct phrase is, "you've got another THINK coming"? No big deal. You can say what you want. Artistic license and all. Just puttin' it out there. Lyrics to You Got Another Thing Coming here. Discussion of the mild grammatical controversy surrounding this phrase here. Below: a then-still-closeted

A question for Jon Anderson...

2010-01-14T21:03:00.000-06:00

Rockmocker reader, J.H. has a question for Jon Anderson of YES. He writes: How did the "gold stainless nail" get "torn through the distance of man"? And what the hell is a "Siberian Khatru"--a particularly incoherent sneeze that comes from the kind of cold you catch there? Whoa. Those are pretty heady questions, J.H.! I'm afraid they're way out of the Rockmocker's sphere of expertise, so we'll

A question for Billy Squier...

2010-01-13T09:01:00.000-06:00

Regarding the person that everybody wants in the song Everybody Wants You, where does he or she work? I'm just curious to know at which company you are able to "take your pension in loneliness and alcohol." Do many people opt for that over the 401k? See full lyrics to Everybody Wants You here. Below, a 30-second clip of a close-cropped, modern-day Billy performing the song acoustically with a

You know what's driving ME crazy, Sammy Hagar?

2010-01-10T20:58:00.003-06:00

Your lack of even the most rudimentary botanical knowledge. "Hot, sweet cherries on the vine"? . Where exactly are these cherry vineyards of which you sing so passionately? Lyrics to Your Love Is Driving Me Crazy here. Learn about cherry trees here. Got a question for classic rocker? Send it on over to the rockmocker.

A question for Foreigner...

2010-01-07T16:06:00.003-06:00

re: Double Vision Feelin' down 'n dirty. Feelin' kinda mean. I've been from one to another extreme. . Dear Foreigner, Don't mean to be nitpicky, but "down 'n dirty" and "kinda mean" don't strike me as particularly antipodal ways of feelin'. I'd say the terms are more complementary than contradictory. If you truly have been "from one to another extreme," wouldn't it be more accurate--and no less

Say, you want a resolution?

2010-01-05T08:33:00.007-06:00

Here's one for you... Mock more in 2010! Sign up to get updates from the Rockmocker posted to your inbox. (See button in right-hand column.) Go here to follow the Rockmocker on twitter. Ringo's onboard. Shouldn't you be too? (Yo B-Ho! Thanks for the clip tip.)

A question for the Doobie Brothers...

2010-01-04T08:47:00.000-06:00

re: China Grove ...every day there's a new thing comin' the ways of an oriental view The sheriff and his buddies with their samurai swords you can even hear the music at night And though it's a part of the Lone Star State people don't seem to care They just keep on lookin' to the East... . Okay, given that their sleepy little town is called China Grove, why do the sheriff and his buddies

A few more answers...

2009-12-31T08:41:00.001-06:00

A couple weeks back, Rockmocker Central Command asked readers to contribute their own answers to the lyrical questions posed by classic rockers. Submissions have fairly streamed in. Below, a few of our favorites thus far. (Have some answers of your own? Send 'em in and we'll continue this thread in a future post.) Two answers for Chicago... (submitted by D.C.) 1. Yes. Not just anybody, but

Another question for Ozzie...

2009-12-30T13:55:00.001-06:00

If you're on a "crazy train," wouldn't going off the rails be a good thing, tantamount to regaining your sanity? (Assuming you don't go off the rails while going over a river or something?) Lyrics to Crazy Train here. Got questions or answers for a classic rocker? Don't delay! Get thee to a rockmocker.

A question for Black Sabbath...

2009-12-28T14:07:00.003-06:00

Rockmocker reader D.V. writes: If Iron Man is made of iron, why does he have boots of lead? Are they somehow more frightening than boots of iron? Well put, D.V., and thanks for submitting the first of what will surely be many questions for Satan’s favorite underlords, the gentlemen of Black Sabbath. “Are lead boots somehow more frightening?” you ask. Consider this. Iron, while it can be

A question for Kansas...

2009-12-23T08:16:00.000-06:00

from your wayward son: Make up your mind. Do you want me to carry on or lay my weary head to rest? Two very different things. Lyrics to Carry On My Wayward Son here. Got a question for a Classic Rocker? Send it to the Rockmocker. Don't forget! We're also currently accepting answers to lyrical questions to be included in an upcoming post. (See original call for contributions.) Questions like

A question for Lynyrd Skynyrd...

2009-12-21T08:59:00.000-06:00

re: Gimme Three Steps Linda Lou's boyfriend has a gun in his hand. Do you honestly think three steps toward the door is going to make much of a difference? ATTN ROCKOSPHERE: The Rockmocker has stockings to stuff and chestnuts to roast. Posts are likely to be spotty and short this week. Got a question for a classic rocker? Send it to the rockmocker! Lynyrd Skynyrd. Because sometimes two

A few answers...

2009-12-18T08:39:00.000-06:00

Last week's question for Pete Townshend got me thinking about songs that pose lyrical questions. So today, something different. A few answers... An answer for Peter Frampton… Maybe, on rare occasion. But most of the time I would have to say, no. No, we do not feel like you do. An answer for Aldo Nova… Yes, I believe I can live this fantasy life. In fact, sign me up immediately. An answer for