Shabnam

Philosophy

2011-12-06T20:31:00.001-08:00

As a member of the Lost Generation and a fellow Confused, I often wonder about where the fuck I actually belong. But then I move on and seek comfort in the fact that I actually have the Lost Generation and the Confused category to go back to. It is common knowledge that thou are not able to change the past, so I seek comfort in the idea of constant.

The philosophical side of me some times wonders about who I am? What the fuck am I doing here? How the hell I got here and where the crap I am going to? I feel like different episodes of my life have been played by different people under the same name and identity. The Shabnam who was a little girl living in Iran, the Shabnam who assimilated to the culture of a new country, the Shabnam who had fun with her friends, the Shabnam who fell in love, the Shabnam who survived disasters, the Shabnam who got married, the Shabnam who started a new life and the Shabnam that exists now. They all seem like such different people to me, maybe they were, they probably are. Who knows? No, really, who knows? I want to sit down with that person and have a heart to heart. Is this really it? This is life? Really? Why go through all this trouble for nothing? It is too much trouble for zilch at the end. This might be a joke that is being played on us, so smile for the camera at least. Whatever, I think I am going to play it until the end just to see what the hell happens!

Strawberry Fields

2011-04-16T10:11:00.000-07:00

As I was walking down the empty street, deep in my own thoughts, the wonderful smell hit me, the glorious smell of strawberries. My mind climbed up from the windy maze of my thoughts and I raised my head to see one of the most beautiful scenes right there in the middle of my walk. I was passing by a strawberry field, rows and rows of green patches decorated with little tiny almost red berries. The field was empty and was taking advantage of the last hour of sunshine for the day. The sun was packing up to leave for the day and very low in the sky, she looked gorgeous. Although the sky had patches of white clouds, it was mostly reflecting a radiant blue shade that almost looked fake. It was like a beautiful painting, but what made it real and topped it all was the aroma of sweet strawberries; it made this view and experience enchanting. Instead of a quick acknowledgement and continuing with my path (as I usually do), I decided to slow down my steps and take it in. I took deep breaths and took in the smell of the strawberries, looked at the peaceful and proud field and paid my respects to the sun while appreciating the blue sky. It was a good moment.
As I continued on my walk passed the strawberry field I climbed back down into my thoughts, this time taking a different path. I thought about the fact that this may be one the last (if not only) times that I may find myself in such a scenery. In a world where efficiency, practicality, saving time and saving money are priorities, real strawberry fields and real strawberries are at risk of extinction. In a world where buildings in shapes of shopping centers, town homes or office buildings are in fast reproduction mode, fields of fruits are the ones being sacrificed. In a world where the scent of strawberry comes in forms of powder, liquid or even paper, when we come across the real thing it seems foreign and "exotic" to us.
The next time I was strolling down the ails of my local grocery store and came across strawberries, I picked one up and looked at it. It was very red, shiny, the size of the palm of my hand and did not have the slightest scent. I bet if I had bit into it there would be no taste as well. This is what our fruits are coming to, man made, hormoned and fake; they might as well be plastic!
In Seattle, there was a strawberry field where we, the civilians, could go to and pick our own strawberries. We would get a box and fill it with the fruit while munching on them in the warm field and taking our sweet time. At the end we paid for our full box and took the fresh strawberries home. They were tiny little dark red strawberries that smelled and tasted divine, real strawberries. Last year when we went back for our strawberry picking session they informed us that the field was permanently closed. They may be replacing it with condominiums.
I will go back to the street with the strawberry field more often now and I will stop to smell the strawberries and gaze at the field because it may not be there next year.

Paris

2011-03-05T15:11:00.000-08:00

The weather was not warm due to the clouds and a bit of a breeze, which is why it made that Paris afternoon so much more enchanting and romantic. We started our walk form the formal 28-hectare park, Jardin des Tuileries, across the famous Louvre museum. A historic and grand golden decorated archway marked the park's beginning which led us into a long and wide pathway lined with evenly spaced white sculptures on both sides. The wide walkway was paved with gravel and sandwiched with grass, trees and flowers. Park benches provided resting areas for tourists and locals. A modest pool stood in the heart of the park making the pathway larger and rounder and it housed a more modest fountain in the center of it. Colorful chairs were placed around the pool, I imagine that they would be more in demand on a warmer day. As we walked down the gravel pathway we looked up at the white sculptures that depicted warriors, religious figures, common men and women and wild animals. The clouds and patches of blue sky in the background made the art figures even more memorizing to look at. These ancient art pieces had not made it to the grand museum across the way because of their cheaper material, unlike their marble counterparts. We came to the end of the long walk across the park where we met the park's exit and found ourselves in The square with Concord Obelisk.
The square was very large, wide and grand, just like the Louvre and the park. In the middle of the square stood a tall and slim monument which is an allegory of Law. On each side of the square sat two grand, gaudy, highly decorated and majestic fountains that shot up gallons of water into the sky. The square was lit with beautiful tall lamps that surrounded the street edges. Then came the most wonderful surprise that left us in awe as we looked up to the left and gazed at the top of the Eiffel Tower peaking it's head out from behind the buildings and trees. History says that after the French Revolution (which marked the end of Louis XVI and Marie Antoinette), this square was where hundreds of men and women were beheaded. The blood on the ground was so much and the stench in the air was so strong that herds of sheep refused to walk close to this area. Today, it looks beautiful as we crossed it and started walking down Aveue des Champs-Elysees.
Long and wide, this boulevard was the center of many shops, restaurants, cafes and street vendors. It was crowded with cars and pedestrians bustling on by, some tourists and mostly locals, The French! or should I say The Parisians! Shopping, eating, soliciting, walking, smooching, the Parisians were out on the Chaps-Elysees with their great, cool, chic casual style. All the Parisians (men and women) wore scarves, long scarves, short scarves, checkered scarves, plain scarves, striped scarves, tied scarves, wrapped scarves, loos scarves, tight scarves. Scarves here, scarves there, scarves every where, the French like scarves. The shops around the boulevard were not very high end as we walked by Gap, H&M and Zara, so I was surprised to come across a multiple story large Louis Vuiton. I guess that is just another regular store for the fashionable French!
This boulevard was long and we were tired and hungry, it was time for rest and fuel. As much as a French cafe or bistro would fit this scenario perfectly, we decided to dine at a casual Italian restaurant that had side walk seating. We watched with envy the glamorous and cool French walk by as we enjoyed our delicious Italian meal with a side of vino.
My brand new expensive walking shoes bought from Nordstrom specifically for this trip was not being very nice to me and I was not going to let it put a damper on my evening by cutting into the heel of my foot. Therefore a 6 Euro pair of socks was purchased from the little crowded souvenir store in the corner. I made sure that it was engraved with the word "Paris" as it was my first purchase in this glamorous city!
At the end of the Champs-Elysees was what we could see from all the way at the beginning of our walk where we started. The famous monument had been growing bigger and bigger as we had been taking steps toward it. We were at Arc de Triomphe.
Napoleon wanted to create a place where his military victories would be celebrated and displayed, so he chose this hilltop to build a grand Arc. The Arc was built successfully but Napoleon never made it to walk through it (at least alive). Now this grand monument sits proudly on one of the largest roundabouts in the world (the center connects 12 boulevards and streets) and it is the resting place of an unknown soldier. Fresh flowers are always present on the soldier's grave and a fire constantly burns in the center pit. As we stood next to this great archway, we not only marveled at the history that stood behind it, but we also were at awe of the beauty of this memorizing city surrounding us. The narrow brick and stone streets, the elegant balconies on the fancy buildings and the careless and cool feel of it made the city even more special. The wind was becoming faster and stronger and we were on top of a hill so we moved on, we walked back down Champs-Elysees.
As we walked back dusk turned into dark, the clouds started getting heavier and the street lamps were turned on. We passed by cafes and restaurants filled with people dining, drinking wine and smoking cigarettes. We passed by Musee D'Orsay, we passed by a quiet and small park as well as almost empty side walks. And finally, we would not be true Iranians if we did not stop at the famous Iran Air on the Champs-Elysees to pay our respect!
Now we were back in Place de la Concorde square and that was when the night became truly enchanting and romantic. It was night time and dark, the stars were shining through the clouds and there were less cars going by. The square and the surrounding streets were lit by the elegant and fancy lamps that stood tall. The center monument as well as the two fountains were also lit up, yet what was truly shining glorious light on the area was the beautifully lit up Eiffel Tower that not only shined itself, but also displayed a soft light on it's peak which made circles and gazed around the city. It was at that point that the clouds gave in and started drizzling, a beautiful, wonderful, cool, slow and misty rain that made this night unforgettable and truly lovely. We stood in the middle of the square silently, watching the lights, admiring the bright iconic tower, listening to the water splash out of the fountains, looking up at the dark sky, breathing in the fresh air and feeling the smooth drops of rain on our faces. At that point in time we were connected to the far away history and to the present beauty of this lovely city at the same time. It was a magical magical evening in the lovely city of Paris.

My Political Party

2011-02-21T20:27:00.000-08:00

I am not a Republican. I am not a Democrat. I do not belong to the Independent Party and I do not belong to the Tea Party. I do however have very strong political view points which I am passionate about. I am not a Republican because I am pro choice, I am against war, I am against funding military defense and invasion of other countries, I am against religion and I am against the right to bare arms. I am not a Democrat because I am against raising the tax on the wealthy, I am against supporting illegal immigrants, I am against free handouts such as welfare and government assistance to the poor.
I do not like not belonging to one specific political party because I do not have a category to be in or have boundaries to watch. It is merely the simplicity of stating that I am part of a group which then would pile all of my beliefs into a neat box. Then I would not have to explain what I am for or against, what I support and what I do not support. Oh well, I guess I have to be left out in the cold, without a party, if I am certain and insistent on all of my beliefs, which I am. I often wonder if there is any one else out there, like me, who is standing outside of those neat boxes that house individuals with the same beliefs on all the different issues. There has to be, because not every single person would fit perfectly in those previously wrapped boxes.
So the dilemma comes when it is voting time, which party do I vote for? Democrat? Republican? Independent? Populist? I guess I should prioritize my values in order to decide which party is more friendly to my "more important" beliefs. I would have to weigh in the importance of legal abortions vs. the freedom for all to purchase guns. Which is more important? Which effects me more? I can not decide. I need to weigh in the importance of hard working tax payer's funds paying for an uneducated woman's 6Th childbirth vs. the American military killing millions of innocent people in the Middle East. Which effects me more? I can not decide.
So unless one wholeheartedly belongs to one of the existing parties, they must give up something that they believe in. It does not seem fair, yet the alternative would mean having hundreds, thousands, maybe even millions of parties just to make sure that every one has a category with a name that shares all of their view points. That can not be realistic.
The moral of the story is that one can never be fully satisfied and happy with their government as there will always be something they disagree with. However, we need to make sure that we are in touch with our core values and be willing to fight for them.
I am registered as a Democratic voter and I voted for the Democratic Presidential Candidate in 2008, but I do not want to be held to that.

Coffee Shop

2011-02-18T22:30:00.000-08:00

Once upon a time in a land not too far away there was a little coffee shop that was the center of the earth. The chairs were of aged wood and did not match one another, the tables had been around for centuries as well. The vintage rug covered the floor in front of the ancient fire place and the brown leather couch facing them looked aged. The book shelf housed eclectic books, magazines, fliers and board games that never managed to leave the shelves. The piano sat proudly in the middle of the coffee shop but was humbled and willing when approached by customers. The walls of the coffee shop was home to the work of new and up and coming artists who wished to display their talent. The pictures stayed for a week or two before giving their spots to newer paintings. The ceiling was high and displayed a large chandelier that hung in the center of it, lighting up the spacious room. Two sides of the coffee shop was covered with large windows, floor to ceiling and wall to wall, providing a fantastic view of the busy street corner. The coffee shop counter was a glass display of pastries, cookies and simple sweets. The coffee shop served a simple variety of foods, the lunch and dinner menu consisted of salads, sandwiches and soups and the breakfast menu was a fantastic collection of eggs, potatoes, bread and more. The coffee in this shop was not served in paper cups, but in white mugs or in real cups with saucers. Each cup of coffee was made with tenderness, love and care, as evidenced by the sweet foam design floating on top of the milky drink, made personally by a familiar barista. Some times the design resembled a leaf and at other times it looked like a flower, whatever the design, it was always a sweet treat for the customer to be surprised by a new picture. And finally, the soft background music in the coffee shop was slow jazz.
If you were looking for a place to get a quick bite to eat or grab a quick coffee to go, this coffee shop was not the place for you, but if you were in search of an oasis, then this was the right choice. This coffee shop was where friends met to spend quality time with each other, it was a place where students met to study next to one another, it was a place where new or old couples had dates. This coffee shop was a place where a person could come in alone, get his coffee, possibly a pastry, sit on one of the almost broken chairs and read a book or a newspaper for hours. It was a neighborhood coffee shop which guaranteed you running into one, two or more friends, or a person that knew your name, or at least a person who just knew your face while you were there. In this coffee shop you were never a stranger. The coffee shop was special because no matter how bad things were out in the real world, once inside the lit spacious room with the large windows, a sense of calm would set in as life seemed alright. Loneliness disappeared as you could always find a familiar face who smiled at you.
That coffee shop in the center of the earth was a witness to many life events of it's customers such as chance meetings, romantic encounters, acts of true friendship, graduations, heart breaking break ups, marriages, and just simply growing up or growing old. On one Valentine's eve the coffee shop watched one broken hearted woman be comforted by a friend as they talked for hours over two cups of coffee and admired a beautiful display of falling snow outside. As the snow danced to the tune of soft jazz music and the lights from the chandelier flickered, the coffee shop watched a healing of a heart. One morning the coffee shop watched and laughed as one woman blushed to the fullest when she watched through the large windows a pack of naked men running across the street outside, while meeting with a very serious and conservative man.
So this coffee shop in the center of the earth was a neighborhood oasis, a familiar reminder of friendship, fun, love and good coffee. It slowed down the lives of the people who came across it and fell in love with it, as it gave comfort to those who needed it.
Many years have passed since the days of the coffee shop and that street corner is not the home to that oasis any more. The coffee shop owner and workers are gone and so are the chairs, the rug, the couch and the piano. Some of the most dedicated and loyal customers have even moved far away, and those who are still around are left with out. It is a sad sight to see, an empty feeling in place of what used to be warmth, comfort and friendship. But the memory of the coffee shop in the center of the earth stays with each and every person who fell in love with it, as it will always have a small chapter in the book of their lives.

This post is dedicated to JJJ and friends.

Say aaaahhhh

2010-10-06T21:15:00.000-07:00

5 simple things that make me say aaaahhhh:

When I step on the car breaks and rain water flows down from the roof of the car onto the windshield.

When I go under the covers in bed and pick up my Glamour Magazine from the night stand to read.

When I use the kitchen sink garbage disposal.

When I find "The Office" while channel surfing.

When I click on "Publish Post".

Ignorant Slaves

2010-10-03T19:46:00.000-07:00

Freedom; what is the meaning of this word? According to the Webster Dictionary, it is "the quality or state of being free". Free; what is the meaning of this word? Webster Dictionary has 15 different definitions for this word, each accompanied by multiple sub definitions. It is a loaded word this one, but the general meaning is being able to chose your actions. It is a good thing to have freedom, is it not? Do you think that you have it?
Think about it, are you free to do what you want when you wake up tomorrow morning? Let's go back one more step, are you able to wake up when you want tomorrow morning? Are you free to chose to go to the beach, to the mall or on a hike? Yes, you do have the freedom to do all of those activities, however there will be consequences for those actions. You may have to use sick time or vacation time that you have occurred throughout your employment, decreasing the amount of days that your were saving for a trip. You may be terminated from your employment resulting in no income to pay your rent and car payment, therefore losing both of them. You have the freedom to chose what you do tomorrow morning, however the consequences could be severe. Is that really freedom?
In an entire year, we have merely two weeks for ourselves when we can chose to do what we want without any severe and long term consequences, two weeks! Two weeks which we have to request for in advance, two weeks which passes us by like lightning. Out of sixteen hours of the day which we are awake, more than half of it is not ours! Is that freedom? Or is that slavery?
We are all slaves. We are worst than slaves. Slaves knew that they did not have any freedom, but we, we are under the impression that we are free, yet our ability to chose could have devastating results. We are ignorant slaves.
We are ignorant slaves who are not able to have a long lunch at the beach with a glass of wine on a Tuesday because the consequences to that act will be too harsh for our lives. No one stops us from doing it, but our lives will make a downward turn if we actually commit it. We are slaves, we are ignorant slaves who can not light up a cigarette in the office or take a nap after lunch, if we would like to keep our beloved lifestyle.
I am not against rules, regulations, guidelines and policies, I am against being ignorant and stupid. I am against believing something that is not. I am against us pretending to be free and having freedom when we are not and we do not. I am a slave because I chose to do what I have to do instead of what I want to do. I am a slave, but I am not ignorant.

Hope

2010-08-10T20:34:00.000-07:00

Yareh Dabestani

Yaureh dabestaunieh man, bau man o hamrauheh mani

Choobeh alef bar sareh mau, boghzeh man o auheh mani

Hak shodeh esmeh man o to, roo taneh in takhteh siauh

Tarkeye bi daud o setam, moondeh hanoz roo taneh mau

Dashteh bi farhangieh mau, harzeh tamoomeh alafaush

Khoob ageh khoob, bad ageh bad, mordeh delauye audamaush

Dasteh man o to bauyad in pardehau ro pareh koneh

kee mitoneh joz man o to dardeh mau ro chaureh koneh?

Yareh dabestaunieh man, bau man o hamrauheh mani

Choobeh alef bar sareh mau, boghzeh man o auheh mani

Hak shodeh esmeh man o to, roo taneh in takhteh siauh

Tarkeye bi daud o setam, moondeh hanoz roo taneh mau...

We are all one.

My Wrist Band

2010-07-19T19:50:00.000-07:00

I wear a green band around my wrist. On it, it reads "Free Iran". I wear it to express my love for my country. I wear it to honor those who lost their lives trying to have their voices heard, those who fought for a better life for themselves and for their countrymen. I wear it to feel that I am also part of a movement, a movement to free the people of my country, a movement to make wrong right. My green wrist band represents the love that we all feel for our country, it represents pride, honor and faith. It is a memoir of the good times, the bad times, the past and the future. It brings me closer to my root, to my soil, to my life and to my people. I wear a green wrist band to remember those who were beaten and killed in the streets of their own city, those who are imprisoned and tortured, only because they were tired of not living. I wear a green wrist band in order to say to my Iran and to the people of my Iran: I love you.

Marriage

2010-06-21T20:50:00.000-07:00

I am a fan of tradition and culture and try hard to uphold customs and rituals. I am one who wishes that she was born hundreds of years ago when things were simpler. I like social norms and become uncomfortable when they are crossed and when I am faced with rebels. So although my questioning thoughts surprise myself, I try to justify them with current times and the evolution of social systems.
In this day and age when men are marrying men and women are marrying women, when women are being impregnated by a frozen sperm that comes out of a bank, when a man in surgically transformed to an actual woman, when a couple has a child using a third person's body, how can the institution of marriage stay strong and relevant, or even make sense?
I wonder, why did marriage originate? Why the cold legality? Why the court, the signatures, the contract, the official promises? Why the ritual ceremony? Is the love and commitment that two people share not enough? Why does it have to be sealed into a legal contract? I wonder, is it so that they would not be able to breach it? So that others know not to cross any boundaries? Does that not dismiss the true essence of what love holds, trust and faith?
My romantic heart likes to believe that true love would not need a contract to stay committed, it would not require a judge and witnesses in order to keep promises. My innocent heart would like to think that two souls who have found their missing piece in one another would not want signatures to join those pieces forever. Love, joining of two hearts, bonding of two souls is too great to be stained with ugly things like legal papers and labels.
So why do we do it? To prove to the world that we are in love? To show the world that we are committed? Do we do it to ward off other possible interests? Is it to secure the permanence of the relationship?
The institution of marriage is not about love, it is about security, status, fear and conforming to the social norm, it is about giving in. This is not to say that those who are in the contract of marriage do not love one other, but the point is that marriage is not about love. My proof is Prenuptial agreements, extramarital affairs, the countless number of unhappily married individuals and divorces.
At the end, marriage is always the easier path to take rather than going against one of the biggest social norms and having to live the rest of your life explaining your decision. Yet love has little to do with marriage, two unmarried individuals who are in love and committed to one another could be much happier than two who are together with a dead bolt contract. I think that the institution of marriage is an insult to true love.

Overpopulation - Solved!

2010-06-16T23:15:00.000-07:00

This world that we live in has many many problems that range from poverty and famine to genocide and war, and of course there is the ever so popular environmental decline. But the one problem that effects each and every one of us on a daily basis and the one that I have chosen to address today is overpopulation. Yes, too many damn people in this small world!
This problem originates from far too many people having multiple children, which results in a lower level of quality of life for the rest of us. It is from uneducated and uncivilized woman having sex with other uneducated and uncivilized men, not using protection, resulting in more and more pregnancies year after year. It is from teenage girls who have not been taught about self respect, having sex with hormonal fifteen year old boys, resulting in pregnancies.
Overpopulation has many negative effects on our society, such as crowded classrooms and higher crime rates, but also another important negative effect that touches every single citizen is cost. If you think that the uneducated, the uncivilized and the underage are the ones who will pay for their pregnancies and their babies, you are dead wrong. If you are a hard working tax-paying citizen of this country, I have news for you: You are the one paying for those children, their education, their health care, their housing and their damn diapers. It truly amazes me that the American society which claims to be one of the more civilized ones out there is so dysfunctional where people who can-not afford to have children are allowed to have as many as they want, and the rest of the society has to pick up the tab for them.
It baffles my mind that not only you have to shell out your hard earned cash out of your shallow pockets for these people, but you also have to send your kids to overpopulated schools where the ratio of kids and teachers are thirty to one. Your child will not have a chance to get a good education because there are too many damn kids in the classroom!
Now, I am not against smart, educated, qualified adults who are contributing to this society reproducing. I am against idiots with low levels of brain functioning popping out babies one after the other. Also, I have learned that it is not constructive to complain about a problem when there is no solution offered to solve it. So guess what my dear readers, I have a solution! Here is my proposal to the government of the United States:
The first step is the most important one. As soon as an individual hits puberty, by law their tubes must be tied. It does not matter if one is a female or a male, if they are capable of reproducing, their tubes will be tied. This way no one needs to worry about the different types of contraception, their effectiveness and costs. All the excessive energy, time and money spent on teaching kids (and adults) how to prevent pregnancy could be saved for a more productive task. You have to understand that people are not as smart as you think they are. They will never learn, so stop trying to teach them and focus your attention on more productive areas. Their hormones take over them and they do not care, so just tie their damn tubes and get it over with. This way the hormone crazed boys and girls can hump like rabbits and the “slow” population can continue living life horizontally, and we will all be safe from having to raise their kids.
Next, if someone decides that they would like to have a child, then there will be a process for them to follow. There will be an extensive application to complete with detailed information and necessary back up will have to be provided. The application will entail information such as income, support system, mental health status, childhood experiences, parenting skills and other crucial information regarding necessities needed for bringing a child into this world. The application’s purpose is to make sure that one is capable and competent in every level to raise a child. It will ensure that not only they will not inconvenient the rest of the world with their child, but that they and their child will contribute to the society, the population and the world. Along with the application there will be a steep fee to pay in order to secure permission to reproduce. This will cover some of the costs of their decision to have a child as well as the processing fee. If one is not able to pay the fee, they may re-try when they have raised the total sum.
If one’s request to have a child is approved, then they will be granted permission to untie their tubes in order to carry out the task. After childbirth/conceiving, tubes will be tied again. All of the fees for these processes and procedures will have to be covered by the involved parties and no other entity.
If one decides to have a second child, there will be a longer, harder and tougher application to complete which will require them to provide sufficient reason for their request, as well as a higher rate to pay. They must be of a very high status, mentally, socially and financially in order to obtain approval for a second child. If approved the process will be the same as child number one. After having child number two their tubes will be tied permanently and they will no longer be allowed to apply for any more children.
I can confidently say that after the implementation of this regulation, you will see a more beautiful, peaceful, quiet, safe and prosperous would. The world will thrive and the quality of life will soar! The population count will decrease significantly and there will be more room for everyone to live a more comfortable and fair life. There will be no more unwanted children, no more foster care, no more children waiting to be adopted by strangers. The entire population will be civilized, mature, educated and smart.
If you are thinking about freedom of choice, take a moment and think about what exactly freedom of choice has brought for us. Some examples are gangs, murders, unwanted pregnancies and taxes! It is as clear as day that people are not smart enough to make their own choices so choices need to be made for them in order to have an improved world. People are idiots, and that is why the world has so many problems.
Having children is the biggest responsibility that one could take on, yet it is the easiest thing for any idiot to get themselves into. Having children will change one’s life and it will effect the entire world, yet it is easier than getting a driver's license or buying a house. This concept just blows my mind.
If the government of this country was smart at all, they would carry out this genius plan. I promise that the world would be 100 times improved and I will guarantee that all of the other problems threatening this world would disappear as well.

ITHACA

2010-06-01T19:35:00.000-07:00

When you set out on your journey to Ithaca,
pray that the road is long,
full of adventure, full of knowledge.
The Lestrygonians and the Cyclops,
the angry Poseidon - do not fear them:
You will never find such as these on your path
if your thoughts remain lofty, if a fine
emotion touches your spirit and your body.
The Lestrygonians and the Cyclops,
the fierce Poseidon you will never encounter,
if you do not carry them within your soul,
if your heart does not set them up before you.

Pray that the road is long.
That the summer mornings are many, when,
with such pleasure, with such joy
you will enter ports seen for the first time;
stop at Phoenician markets,
and purchase fine merchandise,
mother-of-pearl and coral, amber and ebony,
and sensual perfumes of all kinds,
as many sensual perfumes as you can;
visit many Egyptian cities,
to learn and learn from scholars.

Always keep Ithaca in your mind.
To arrive there is your ultimate goal.
But do not hurry the voyage at all.
It is better to let it last for many years;
and to anchor at the island when you are old,
rich with all you have gained on the way,
not expecting that Ithaca will offer you riches.

Ithaca has given you the beautiful voyage.
Without her you would never have set out on the road.
She has nothing more to give you.
And if you find her poor, Ithaca has not deceived you.
Wise as you have become, with so much experience,
you must already have understood what Ithacas mean.

Constantine Cavafy (1863-1933)
translated by Rae Dalven

The Zahir - Paulo Coelho

Mr. perfect from Starbucks

2010-05-23T12:20:00.000-07:00

There is a man who goes to Starbucks in the mornings at the same time that I do. He is relatively handsome, always has an immaculate haircut and a razor shaved face. He wears a perfectly pressed button up shirt with the sleeves rolled up, usually light blue, which is tight enough to let you know that there is a six pack and toned biceps underneath , but not tight enough to be vein. He wears a pair of perfectly pressed black pants, tailored exactly for his height, which also gives the hint of his other tight muscles. His shiny shoes are always nicely buffed and waxed and never fail to match his belt. The only accessory that he carries on him is a masculine and stylish watch. His nails look like they have been cut and cleaned with care and his hands look soft while keeping their strong shape. His posture is confident but not arrogant, his look is respectful and friendly but quiet. He communicates with grace when ordering his coffee and demonstrates a comfortable ability to socialize when he engages in small talk with the Barista. His voice is strong by being deep yet sensitive by being soft. He carries himself with elegance as he walks off, coffee in hand, to his black, shiny and sexy car. I have never been close enough to him to get a whiff of a scent but if I had to guess I would say that there would be a hint of masculine aftershave, just enough for the effect but not strong enough to linger.
As I am standing in line to order my double short vanilla latte or waiting by the bar for the Barista to call my name, I wonder about what kind of person this man is. I imagine that he is on his way to his big window office at an affluent corporation where he is one of the top employees who enjoys an above average paycheck. I assume that after work he goes to the gym where he meets his equally perfect buddies and that is where he shapes that six pack, the big biceps and those tight muscles. He probably then heads home to his bachelor pad, super clean and fashionably decorated with the colors of dark blue, white and black, where he cooks a gourmet (healthy) meal for dinner and eats it with a glass of high quality red wine.
I imagine the parts of this man that I do not see such as personality, morals, beliefs, habits and hobbies to be just as perfect as the parts which I do see. I assume that he is kind, smart, funny, outgoing, fun loving and deep. I can see him as one who would appreciate art, classical music and a good book, one who could hold a conversation and would have lots to offer. He looks like he would be romantic, one who lights candles, buys flowers, is thoughtful and attentive to a woman.
Then I am abruptly smacked back into reality by Kim's voice yelling out my name (Jackie) to come pick up my double short vanilla latte off of the bar. I thank Kim for my coffee, leave Starbucks and go about my day not giving another thought to Mr. perfect from Starbucks.

Passion

2010-05-23T00:34:00.000-07:00

Do you remember when you were in love? Not just any love, but real and true love, deep and passionate love, crazy and desperate love? Do you remember how it felt? Do you remember the throbbing pain in your heart, the ache that you thought would never ever end? Do you remember the overpowering joy that gushed out of your body, the warmth you felt in your soul? Do you remember gazing into a set of eyes and wishing for the eternity of that moment? Do you remember the spark of a touch, the extreme heat rising from your skin? Do you remember those feelings, those smells, those tastes? Do you remember young love? Do you miss it?
I hope that you have saved a piece of that precious feeling with you and have kept it through out the years. I hope that you carry with you a bit of that tenderness from your past as you have grown hard and cold. I hope that once in a while you take it out and look at your old feelings to remember the young, innocent and lovely days when you had the ability to actually feel them. I hope that you take the time to reminisce about the time when your heart was soft, open and absorbent. Maybe by looking at those feelings, thinking about them and remembering how they felt, you can give a little pleasure to your soul, enough for it to continue living a life with out passion.

WTF?!

2010-05-01T11:24:00.000-07:00

Things that make you go... WTF?!

When it rains on a 97 degree day.
When people treat their pets like babies.
When people treat their babies like bosses.
When people live in the same place that they were born and raised.
When people do not care about what goes on in their birth country.
When people demonstrate against deporting ILLEGAL immigrants.
When people have a 4Th child.
When people believe the media and advertisements.
When people get lost with out a GPS.
When people are addicted to their computers and cell phones.
When people have a cell phone conversation while having lunch with friends.
When a Hollywood celebrity news is on CNN.
When a car parallel parks on it's own.
When Golf is considered a sport.
When Futball is called Soccer and an unrelated game is called Football.
When Americans think that they are the center of the world.
When people think America is civilized.
When Stoning and hanging still exist.
When today people believe that a person parted a sea and a virgin became pregnant.
When people fall for scams such as Valentine's day and Christmas gifts.
When nothing is done when a government beats their people for talking.
When a trashy hick runs for Vice President of the Unite States.
When people still eat Twinkies.
When people are forced to pray.
When women do not raise their own children.
When one must communicate with an automated machine through the phone.
When people living in California (USA) must know Spanish in order to land a job.
When illegal immigrants are able to use American government benefits.
When schools are blamed for a child's misbehavior.
When people wear sweats to work.
When people put couple pictures as their Facebook profile picture.

And the list goes on and on and on and on and on...

Childhood Memories

2010-04-24T11:38:00.000-07:00

There is a familiar sound that I have not heard in many years; I often wonder about how I would react if I ever heard it again. It is a sound from my childhood, a big part of my memories from growing up as a little girl in Iran. It is a memory that I share with all of the other little boys and girls who grew up in Iran at the same time that I did. A loaded sound full of meaning and full of deep emotions that echoed throughout the streets of our city mostly in the middle of the dark quiet nights spreading rays of red shock through every single sleeping body. It is the sound of the RED ALARM (ajeereh ghermez), warning us of the enemy's attack.
The Alarm began with the words "Attention, Attention", the voice of a very serious announcer who warned the residents of the city of the approaching danger and urging every one to move to a "safe" location. After the announcer was done with his speech, the high and low waves of the RED ALARM took over and continued for eternity.
Some times I would wake up and jump out of my bed immediately as the first "Attention" was said, some times it was the melody of the red waves that brought me out of my dreams and into the dark night, and some times I was woken up by my parents who had jumped out of bed and rushed into my bedroom. Holding a flashlight, my father would lead my mother and I down four stories (63 steps) to the garage, which was the lowest part of the building and where our "safe" location was. We shared that spot with the neighbors from our building who had jumped out of bed just like us, had ran down the stairs just like us, were holding a flashlight in one hand and a small radio in the other hand and wearing pajamas just like us. Turning a light on was a great mistake because it would draw attention to our location, therefore we stood in the dark and waited. We waited for a bomb to drop on our city.
As we waited, we listened to the sound of the shots firing throughout the dark sky that tried to bring down the enemy's airplane, the airplane that was carrying a bomb and looking for a light to drop it on. Then it would happen, the big one, the loudest of them all, the bomb. After hearing the bomb, silently we would take a deep breath, then wonder about friends and family and wonder if it was any of their homes this time that was shattered and blown up and their bodies torn apart. Right after the bomb was dropped, the radio played the WHITE ALARM announcing the departure of the enemy's airplane and the clearance to go back to bed. The WHITE ALARM was a flat note. We would say our goodbyes to our neighbors, go back up the 63 stairs and slide back into bed.
Episodes like this occurred multiple times throughout the 8 years of war (based on decisions and quarrels within politicians) so it had become part of our childhood. Even though we did not understand it, it was what we knew and what we had accepted (there was no other choice), yet when the big BAM shook us now and then, our little bodies shook with fear as well. We were frightened just as any one would be in that situation, when their life is at risk, but we were used to it. You could see this when at times we whispered and laughed with the neighbors' kids under the dark staircase and some times even played games while waiting for the bomb to fall down on us. You could see it when we all woke up the next morning, got dressed, had breakfast and went to school, just like any other ordinary day. To us, it was part of life - doesn't every child go through this every now and then? They must, because it would be such an unfair life if it was just us who had to live life like this -. When you are a little child and you grow up with something, you believe it to be normal and the common way of life, and that is what we believed of the enemy's attacks. Now that I think about it I realize how scary, unnatural and fucked up that situation was.
The high and low of the RED ALARM which was a big part of my childhood will always stay with me as it is ingrained in my memory. I remember being able to see the color RED in the notes. Even though I have not heard that sound for many years and even if I never hear it again I know the words that came out of the little radio by heart and the tune of that melody by ache.

The funny thing is that to this day I still do not know what that 8 year war that took so many innocent lives was about?!

One Night In Madrid

2010-04-19T22:04:00.000-07:00

One day I am going to write a book. I have picked the location of my story and the plot, I know the characters and I see their fates clearly. My inspiration ignited inside of a bus, in a foreign land, looking at a stranger and thinking of a Glass Palace.

It is going to be a romantic and heart wrenching novel, one that will leave you in awe and envy. You will fall in love with this story that I shall create for you as it will make you crave true love and real lust.

On this day the first words are yet to be created, however what I do have is the title of my book and that ladies and gentlemen, is a start.

Stay tuned...

Lipton Tea

2010-04-11T12:21:00.000-07:00

Every time I stepped into the book store I saw this book on the best selling shelf, picked it up, looked at it, read the back, thought about buying it and every time I proceeded to put it back on the shelf and walk over toward the more superficial, meaningless, no lesson to be learned and romantic novels that I love reading. As though the book was stalking me, it showed up as a suggestion in our monthly Book Club and won the pick. So I ended up purchasing Three Cups of Tea, by Greg Mortenson and David Oliver Relin.
Three Cups of Tea is a story of an American man, a mountaineer, who stumbles upon a small and poor village in Pakistan after he strays from the rest of the climbers and loses his way. He is so touched by what he sees in that village and in the people whom he meets there, that his life mission becomes building schools for girls all over the country of Pakistan. Throughout the book, the American goes through such tough ordeals such as being kidnapped, getting shot at, riding alongside dead and skinned cattle for hours and just lack of some basic luxuries that the Americans are so used to having, in order to accomplish his tasks. He learns two languages, meets many characters, some with the biggest hearts and some very scary. He mingles with the American politicians and has a chat with some members of the Taliban. He lives away from his family for months at a time and puts his life at risk only to reach his goal of educating the girls of the neglected areas of Pakistan. He believes that education is the only way to help impoverished societies and to fight terrorism. This American has won awards and has been recognized for all that he has done for the people of Pakistan, for his selflessness and for his dedication to fight ignorance. Three Cups of Tea which is a story about one person taking an unselfish step to change the world warms your heart and opens your mind.

OK, that being said, I am going to play the devil's advocate here and point out something in the book which made me wonder if this American's work was really positive. Just bare with me.

The first thing that attracted the American to Pakistan and its villages was the people, their kind hearts and their hospitality. He was greeted with a steaming, tasty cup of tea each time he met a new person or visited an old acquaintance. As he was told by one wise Pakistani man: "Here, we drink three cups of tea to do business; the first you are a stranger, the second you become a friend, and the third, you join our family, and for our family we are prepared to do anything- even die." These cups of teas were prepared in the traditional way, the way they had been for years, brewed into perfection by the women of Pakistan who were the hearts of the home. The women were the ones who made and served the sweet and buttery tea, which was such an important part of their lives, to the men who while drinking, built their businesses and eventually their families.
Fast forward 10 years from when the American met the Pakistani people and worked on building schools for girls. He sits down with one of the girls of the village who received an education with his help and was now graduating and planning a future with higher education for herself. This was such a satisfying experience for the American that it brought tears to his eyes, confirming to him that all of his sacrifices were worth this moment. During the visit, the educated girl serves her father and the American Lipton tea, LIPTON TEA! Not brewed, milky, sweet tea that took it's time to be simmered, but a TEA BAG! Now the book does not focus on this small part, but for me it felt like a screeching halt to the entire story. Through out the book I was with him, the American, feeling for him, wanting the girls to get an education, hoping for the destruction of the Taliban, but all of a sudden the Lipton tea stopped me on my tracks.
I am definitely not saying that I am by any means on the Taliban's side or am in any way against education for girls, I am merely playing the devil's advocate like I mentioned earlier, so hear me out. Is it not so typical of Americans to come into a strange land, intrude on the people's lives and waltz right in with their own beliefs, morals, ideals and how they think things should be, and force their ideas upon the people of that land? Is this not exactly what this American did? He came in to Pakistan and brought in his belief that education will make the girls stronger, more powerful and happier, however he did not consider the consequences. What he failed to notice (just like every other American does) was the fact that this act was the start of the destruction of these people's culture. Their rich culture of brewed, sweet, milky tea that sat within all of their discussions, socialization and lives, was now going to be turned into a Lipton tea bag, it makes me sad to even think about it. I can just imagine, the men of the little Pakistani village sitting in a circle on a roof top under the dark sky lit by millions of stars, with no woman in sight to help them with their tea (because she is in some big Pakistani city pursuing her education and career), drinking a sad sad Lipton cup of unsweetened tea.
Yes yes I know, women's rights, equality of genders, girl power, yati yati yatta, I get it. Tell me though, what about the culture and the tradition? What about the brewed tea made by a woman's tender touch and by her love? Should that be sacrificed and turned into history just like home made apple pie and fresh squeezed orange juice? Which is more important? Is it worth it?
Do you really think that after the third cup, when you joined their family, they will be prepared to do any thing for you, even die, over a cup of Lipton tea?

Part I: The Beginning

2010-04-10T12:39:00.000-07:00

It was thousands of years ago, some where in the Middle East, in the middle of the desserts and the mountains lived a group of people called the Arabs. They were an uncivilized and uneducated clan, barbaric creatures who lived in chaos. These people stole from one another, killed each other, raped their women and died of diseases brought upon them by germs and viruses. It was a crumpling society where there existed no laws and no fear of consequences.
One day an Arab man, a genius, decided that he was going to change the way things were in this place where he lived. His name was Mohammad and he was wiser, brighter, smarter than the rest and whose thinking was above his peers. He saw the way his people were self destructing and envisioned a better life for all of them. His goal was to find a way to help them, this Arab race, to become better, stronger and Civilized.
The first thing that Mohammad needed to do was to instill fear into the people in order for them to follow his guiding to a better life. Mohammad's genius plan started as he dived into the unknown, somewhere where no one had any inkling of idea how things worked, the world and the universe. Mohammad's idea was to create a thing above all, so powerful and strong that one could not even see, touch or feel and that would be why they would fear it. He named it God and told people that this is who created the world and the universe. He stated to the people that since God is the one who created the world, naturally he was the ruler of it and there are certain rules and guideline that he demands from his people to follow. Mohammad's plan was masterful, because he managed to come up with consequences to those who did follow God's rules and those who did not. Again, it had to be something that the people could not see, feel or touch, so his idea of after death consequences worked perfectly. This way people would not know what their fate will be until they die, therefore they have their entire life to try to be good.
Because the people were uneducated and simple, Mohammad had to only provide some simple tricks for them to believe the existence of God. Yet, mostly they fell for it because they were desperate for something to believe in, they needed goodness and they needed faith. Another big contributor to Mohammad's success was that he was a good and decent person, he cared about others and the people could see and feel that.
Through God, Mohammad conveyed to the Arab people that stealing, cheating, lying and killing others are bad acts, calling them sins, and if any one commits any of those sins, they will be punished by God. And no one wanted to be punished by God because that would mean burning in the fires of hell as Mohammad had informed them. Mohammad taught the people about honesty, forgiveness, responsibility and commitment. He also educated them on good deeds such as helping the poor, and lending a had to their neighbors, acts which would help them build a strong case to enter paradise after death. Mohammad presented himself as the messenger from God and would bring to the people the requests and demands of God as the need arises. Now that Mohammad had fear on his side, he could guide the people toward health, order and peace. The Arab society was finally beginning to move toward civilization.
The Arabs were violent and angry people so the first thing that they would benefit from was meditation, therefore Mohammad organized praying to God. Five times a day they would push all thoughts out of their minds, clearing it of negative and disturbing waves. Their focus on quiet and united attention on one thing only, between the hustle and bustle of their day, calmed them. And finally, at the end of each prayer they would focus on a wish or a desire (which we all learned while reading "The Secret" that focusing on your goal brings you closer to it). This invention of Mohammad grounded the people and provided them with peace and tranquility.
The reason for many diseases and early deaths was that the Arabs were dirty people who rarely bathed, so Mohammad brought down a new message from God. The message stated that to maintain respect for God, one must be clean while standing in prayer in front of him. That is when Mohammad introduced them to the act of "Vuzu" where each person must wash themselves in a specific way (which covers most bases of the body) before each prayer. The Arabs were washing their hands, feet, arms and faces five times a day, increasing their chance of living a healthy life.
The next thing to tackle was the excessive raping of women by the men. The only solution Mohammad could come up with at the time was to cover up the women so that the men would not get aroused by seeing their bodies and hair. He introduced the people to a new message from God, stating his demand for women to cover themselves with cloth at all times when they are in the presence of a male who is not their father, brother, uncle or husband. He chose the age of 9 for girls to start covering, maybe because that was when the girls started to arouse the men. By not being able to see the women's sexy arms, luscious ankles and mouth watering hair, more and more men refrained from attacking and raping them.
There were many wars during the time of Mohammad, which left many women widowed who did not have anybody to take care of them. Because of his big heart Mohammad decided that the men should take care of these husbandless women. He conveyed yet another message from God stating that men are allowed to have up to four wives at a time. This way women who had lost their husbands in war had a man to take care of them and their children.
Although Mohammad said that the reason God wishes for his people to fast for one month was in order for them to understand and feel connected to the hungry and to the poor, the untold reason was the cleansing of the people's bodies. The unhealthy eating habits of the Arabs was a contributor to weight gain and physical risk factors. Mohammad was not a doctor, but as a genius he felt that a month of cleansing will benefit the people live a happier and healthier life. He decorated fasting with celebrations to make it more attractive to those who loved food.

Mohammad was a genius and a kind hearted man who saved the Arab nation from crime and disease by telling them white lies. Read on and in the next parts you will find out how his good deeds were turned against the people he tried to save.

GOD

2009-10-26T16:34:00.000-07:00

The world as we know it has existed for millions of years and for the majority of those years the people living on earth have believed in a higher power called GOD. They believe that GOD is a male who sees us, hears us and knows what we are thinking, but we do not see "him" or hear "him". Although they claim that we could feel "him" in our hearts, if we truly believe in "his" existence. These people fear GOD as "he" punishes those who commit sins and those who do not do good, by burning them in the flames of hell. They say that "he" is a kind and mighty GOD who loves "his" creation, but no one shall make "him" angry as "his" wrath is unmistakably the harshest.
These people depend on GOD in every aspect of their lives as they believe that they live a life to fulfill "him" and only "him". When they are in fear they call "his" name, when they are in doubt they ask "him" for advice and when they are in despair they ask for "his" help. In good times they give "him" credit and in bad times they give "him" reason. GOD almighty is a force that drives their every move.
Now lets step back a little and look at the big picture with an open mind, what do you see? Smart, educated and bright people who worship a being that has never been proven to exist. Something that is an idea passed on by other people who came before them, something that they fear! These are people who have seen a man walk on the moon, people who use Internet, drive cars and fly on planes. These are people who fly rockets and run countries. They still believe that a being above them is judging their every move and will punish them if they stray.
I do understand the need for people to believe in something, something that makes them feel secure and safe, something that will be looking over them and protecting them. But I do not understand how reason does not get in their way of believing in GOD.
I am not saying that I one hundred percent do not believe in GOD, I am saying that it does not make sense to me and I have not seen or felt any thing to prove "his" existence to me. I doubt because I have many unanswered questions. What has GOD done for human beings in this world? Has "he" built buildings? Has "he" built cars and planes? Has "he" discovered cures for diseases? Has "he" ended slavery? No, humans have done all of that. Humans have started and ended wars, they have discovered science, art and philosophy. What has GOD done? Where is he? Why does "he" not show "himself"? For the mystery? For the fear? For the suspense? Why?! Why is it that the loving and kind GOD does not save starving children? Why does "he" not stop wars? Why does "he" not help us find a cure for cancer? Where is "he" when "his" creation is being beaten or raped by each other? Why is "he" not kind enough to help? I just do not understand! Some one please give me a rational, scientific and sane explanation.
There are only a few of us in this world who ask questions regarding GOD, our number is scarce. Part of the reason is that we are hesitant to show our faces to the rest of the world in fear of retaliation as well as being harshly judged. Another reason is for fear of being completely wrong and at the end actually burning in hell! But I am tired of living my life in the closet, I have stepped out as a doubter.
I do believe in something, and that is Goodness, the goodness of human beings. I believe that if we do good, act good, think good and be good, we will all live a beautiful life in a peaceful world. We must be good to each other because we want to build a high quality life for ourselves, not because we are afraid to burn in HELL by GOD!

Simple things in life

2009-04-09T17:21:00.000-07:00

I Love...

Fall's first rain,
The smell of freshly cut grass,
The first sip of coffee in the morning,
The sound of falling snow,
Spending time with friends,
Running like a little child,
Jumping in the pool on a hot day,
Putting my head on my pillow at night,
Talking with family,
Knitting a scarf,
Cooking with a new recipe,
Laughing really really hard,
Feeling the sun on my body.

I Hate...

Cheap toilet paper.

To the readers

2009-04-08T19:39:00.000-07:00

Dear Reader,

If you are a returning reader welcome back, I am humbled, honored and flattered to see that you enjoy my pieces and have come back for more. I am very excited to write for you.

If you are a new reader I welcome you to my humble corner and am very happy to be your host. My goal is to entertain you, make you laugh, get you to tear up, to educate you and to open your eyes. My goal is also to write for the joy of writing and to put my beliefs, opinions, stories and discoveries out there in the universe (a.k.a. www.).

I do have a small request that I hope you will honor and respect. I have to ask you to please do not judge me for my opinions and beliefs, they are my personal own and I am absolutely not trying to force them upon any one. Always remember that reading my blog is optional and if you ever feel offended or angered please feel free to close the page.

Please know that comments are always welcomed and encouraged. Now come in, take your shoes off, relax, help yourself to refreshments and get ready to be pleased.

Truely Yours,
Shabnam

The Return

2009-04-08T18:41:00.000-07:00

Dear Blog,

I know that it has been a while since I talked to you, I know that you may be mad at me for neglecting you, and I truly am sorry for ignoring you for so long. I want to let you know that even though I did not communicate with you, I did not forget about you. During this time I thought about you numerous times, every time I saw some thing or some one fascinating and every time I had an interesting thought. I continued to make mental notes to tell you things, but some how it never happened. I want to update you now on some things that went on while I was not connecting with you, these are the times that I thought about you.

I finally stood up and voted in the presidential election for the first time in my life. It was a liberating and proud experience and I wanted to share it with you.

This country elected a Black President! I was overwhelmed with emotions and was ecstatic to be a part of something big and spectacular. I knew that this election and this year will go in history books that children will study in years to come. I wished that the people of a hundred years ago could see where their country and where their people are now, they would be proud. I wished that the people who fought so long and so hard for equal rights could see how things look today, they would be proud.

During Christmas our program received hundreds of brand new donated toys from caring citizens to be given to the less fortunate children whom we work with. I thought that this was amazing and very heart warming to see during the time that this country is going through a recession. I wanted to tell you about it.

One day I was killing time walking around and going into stores and I stumbled upon the oddest place. It was a big room filled with chairs facing small screens. There were teenage kids sitting on each chair with headphones on and controls in hand. The room only held the sound of clicking and every one was staring into the screen not talking or communicating in any form with one another. I was going to come home and tell you all about what technology has done to us and our kids and how I can see our machine ruled and no human contact future.

This was a quick overview of what I would have written about more extensively if I was keeping up with you. There were other topics that I wanted to share with you as well such as the bail outs, the economy, having kids and new discoveries I have had about myself, but it did not happen and I have moved on now. I do not know why I neglected you for so long, but I am returning now and ready to pour it all out once again. So get ready because I am back with more passion, more fire and more curse words baby!

Flying time

2008-11-23T20:30:00.000-08:00

I went to Toys R Us to buy his birthday gift. As I walked through the sliding glass doors two screaming brats cut me off and almost tripped me to the ground, 3 more brats were screaming and whining in front of the entrance and two grown men were running around chasing their spoiled and screeching brats. I started looking around at the monster cars and the action figures and that was when I realized that I do not know what he likes any more. I have been away from him for so long that I do not know what he is into these days. Instead of guessing I decided to call his mother to get the latest about his likes and dislikes. I was trying to have a quiet and adult conversation on my cell phone but the screaming babies, the pointless yelling, the stupid sirens, the out of tune guitar music and the obnoxious parents prevented me to do so. So I found a quiet corner (I guess board games are not very popular) to talk. His mother directed me to an item that is sold in Best Buy, so happy that I get to get the hell out of that crazy colorful place I sped off towards an adult store. Then it hit me, I was buying his birthday present at Best Buy not Toys R Us, this means that he has grown up! When the hell did this happen?
So I walked around the store not only shocked and depressed but also confused about what this damn DS2 was and where the hell they are. I had never heard of such thing and did not even know what they looked like, so I grabbed the kid who worked at the store and asked for help. He looked at me with a smile and informed me that we were standing in the DS2 section. I smiled back and defended myself by saying that I did not know what the games looked like. At that point I did not look like an idiot any more, but I looked damn old.
By this time I was feeling shocked, depressed, confused and old! But I got myself together and picked out two games (as randomly as possible) and headed to the register. The kid behind the register greeted me and rang me up with out raising his head to look at me until he was handing me the receipt. As soon as he saw me he said: "oh, would you like a gift receipt?", translation: "you look too old to be buying DS2 games for yourself or even know what they are, so this must be a gift".
When the hell did he grow up so fast that Toys R Us is not his store any more, instead he likes things that are sold at Best Buy? When the hell did I grow so old that I do not even know what the hell these new games and gadgets are? This sucks!

Women's revolution

2008-11-09T14:38:00.001-08:00

I was sitting in a stretch limo, sipping sparkly Champagne and having a conversation with a young lawyer who I had just met. She was a strong, independent, smart and powerful woman who lived alone and worked as an attorney in Los Angeles. During our conversation I told her about my job and she told me about hers, the ups and downs and our likes and dislikes. I told her about how I am excited and happy each and every morning when I get out of bed to get ready to go to work. She looked at me with envy as she said that she wished that she liked her job as much as I did. As she explained why she disliked her job and that this is not what she would like to do for the rest of her life, I became more and more curious. So finally I asked her a simple question of what is it that she would like to do and what her plans for the future are. The answer that she gave me fascinated and surprised me, but most of all it made me really think about and analyze something that had been on the back of my mind for quite some time. She said: "I am hoping to eventually meet some one (a man), get married, have children and raise a family". When I asked her about her career she said: "Maybe I will work part-time".
Not too long ago women's roles in the society was to get married, bear children and to have a family. They were responsible for making and keeping a comfortable and tidy home for their husband and children and to raise a happy family. A woman's job was to cook, clean, wash, tidy the house and to discipline her children. A woman's job was to be supportive of her husband and children, providing them with wise advise and love. A woman's job was to give to the society by teaching her children about values of life and getting them ready for the world. On top of all of that the women always looked pretty for their man and the rest of the society, making the world a beautiful place. In those times no one was confused about their roles as the man went out to work in order to fulfill his role as the bread winner and the woman stayed home to take care of the children and their home. So naturally the man who brought home the money had the decision making power and the woman of course obeyed her husband. It made sense, people were happy as they knew their destiny and their positions. They were content with the life that they led and the life that was what was expected from them. They lived a life identical to their parents and to their grand parents, with out surprises, with out dilemma and with out confusion.
Then one day women woke up and decided that they wanted more, they were not happy with their lives any longer and wanted a change, they wanted a revolution. They were tired of staying home and dealing with the brat's spits, poop and screeching cries, the ironing and folding of their husband's shirts and draws. They were tired of slaving over a hot stove every day and night, having vacuuming and dusting as part of their day to day routine and not being included in the exciting and fast moving world outside. They were tired of being treated differently than the men whom they lived with, so these women started fighting for choices, freedom, independence, power and equality. They figured that possibly one day they could get excited for much more than a brand new washer and dryer set or a shiny blender. So they fought hard, they struggled and even had some casualties, but they did not stop. Strong women every where pushed for independence and equal treatment using willpower instead of tears and brains instead of seduction. It took many years and a lot of burnt bras, but eventually women accomplished what they were fighting for and achieved a level that they were trying to reach.
Even though there were many setbacks and disappointments, even though inequalities and lack of fairness continue to exist, our society came a long way and adopted change. Today independent women get higher education, have high powered jobs and live alone in homes that they own. Women are no longer expected to be housewives with the duty to take care of their children and to serve their husbands. Those women who started this revolution would be proud and overjoyed if they could see us now.
After gaining this equality and power women are now working alongside men in offices and corporations carrying similar responsibilities and putting in as many hours as their male counterparts. So we wonder about who is at home taking care of the children and the house? Who is cleaning the home with love, cooking food with old family recipes, packing the children's lunches? Well, these same women are trying to do these things along side working and having careers, but it does not seem to work out as well as they imagined that it would. But with out going into how the family life and family values of our society has been hurt through this revolution, lets look at the women themselves.
Day after day more and more women are complaining about their jobs, their busy schedules and the juggling of family life and work life. They are not able to handle what they asked for and are regretting the revolution! This is not saying that women cannot handle the work force, the demands and the jobs that they are performing out there, in fact they are doing an amazing job and performing in quite an admirable manner. What this is saying is that the women continue to still desire what feels natural to them, a husband, children and a nice home for their family, however, with their new found power and equality they are not able to achieve that desire as fully as they would like. So the women are confused, they want the independence and the careers as well as the family and the old way of living. They want to be included in the working world, yet they continue to have a deep desire to do what they were originally put on this earth to do.
We have to really think about this and then we will understand that nature has a reason for every thing, so there was a reason for women to stay home, raise children and to take care of their family while men went out to work. There was something about that system which worked for thousands and thousands of years through out all of the different cultures, communities and societies of the world. Then women decided to have a revolution, burn perfectly fine bras in order to make life harder for every one, men, children and themselves. Please do not get me wrong, I am all about progress, advancement, change, growth and bettering ourselves, believe me I am just as confused myself. That is why I am questioning this evolution that has taken place with our race. Is it right? Did all of those women in the 50's, 60's and 70's go through the revolution and endured all of that hardship to get us where we are now just so that in the future women would go to universities and obtain a fine degree such as law and medicine, land a 6 figure income job and buy a home and at the end all they would want is to quit their job, get married, stay home and have children? Now tell me that that is not crazy!