A little bit of me

Old Navy Shorts via Crowd Tap

2012-05-11T20:34:00.000-08:00

I have been a member of Crowd Tap for about 6 months now and have been waiting for this opportunity to come! Old Navy finally offered me and a friend a sample! We got to try to the shorts just in time for some GREAT weather here in the 'ol Valdez. So I went perusing for the best fit for me. Since we've been doing Insanity by Beach body I KNEW I needed to get some shortish shorts to show off my hot (to get hotter) legs! I chose the 3.5 inch cuffed shorts. I loved the versatility of the light grey and have already taken them for a spin! I willed the sun out today! Anyway, here's the recent showing my free goodness and then me rocking them on this cloudy turned sunny day!

Thank you crowd tap and Old Navy for this awesome opportunity!

Happiness

2012-04-24T09:33:00.001-08:00

As I sat in my hotel room in Sitka after putting the baby to bed I had a lot of time to think. I thought not so good things, like how sad I was that I had dropped my husband back off at the academy just a few short hours before. How agonizing that was to know he was literally a half a mile away, yet I wasn't allowed to see him. Well, I was allowed, but he had a lot of work to do. I thought about how hard it was going to be to travel with a 10 month old. The daunting task of being up in the wee hours to get on a plane where everyone stares at you assuming your child is going to transform into a demon once the flight took off (which she wasn't AT ALL! In fact she was an angel.) I thought about how hard these last 6 weeks were going to be, essentially being a single mom.

Then I couldn't help but realize how small and temporary those things were. I immediately started to mull over all the amazing PERMANENT things that God has blessed me with. I have an amazing husband. He really is. He makes my everyday SO much better. He is my rock, he is my comfort, he is my provider. He is the best father I know. He has love for me and Layla that is indescribable. As much as I miss him, I know what he is doing is only for us. It's to provide us the best life possible.

I have a beautiful, smart, caring daughter that absolutely amazes me EVERYDAY. I can't begin to describe the love I have for this little being. She absolutely makes everyday worth it. When we were in Sitka she instantly knew who Wayne was. It was incredible to see that connection for a 10 month old even after not seeing him for 2 months. You could ask her "where's daddy?" and she would look right at him. There were times I was holding her and she would want him, which is saying a lot. I am usually the ULTIMATE. To have her request someone over me is pretty much unheard of. I can see her learning things everyday. She waves hi and bye, shakes her head no, crawls faster than a lightning bolt, says her name, mom, dad and nana. She loves to be chased and wrestled around with, she's got the most beautiful curly afro, and the cutest baby giggles. She sleeps through the night and is always SO happy. I really can't explain HOW perfect she is.

I have a beautiful roof over my head, not one, but 2 well working vehicles, the most incredible view a girl could ask for, just out my front window, a family that is so supportive and loving and friends to die for. I can't believe how much God continues to bless my already beautiful life, everyday. I am one grateful lady. Very, very grateful lady.

1 John 3:21-23
Beloved, if our heart does not condemn us, we have confidence before God; and whatever we ask we receive from Him, because we keep His commandments and do the things that are pleasing in His sight. And this is His commandment, that we believe in the name of His Son Jesus Christ, and love one another, just as He commanded us.

THE FINAL DREAM!!

2012-03-14T12:52:00.000-08:00

So to finish off my set of 7 dreams, I dreamt a dream 2 nights ago.

We (Ashley Chaffin and I) were up at the pass going snowboarding. We climbed up this vertical tunnel that had a ladder in it and at the very top it had a zip line on it. I should mention just how high this was. It was VERY VERY high. Like hundreds of feet high. Well Ashley was like "I haven't done this in a while I'm gonna do it!" She grabbed with one hand then leapt with the other and her hand slipped off and she fell... I just watched her fall and fall and fall. I just grabbed my head thinking "what do I do? I have no idea what to even do?" I was just in shock at what had just happened! I climbed down so fast, thinking to myself there was no way someone could survive this. I got down and just screamed for help. there were already people trying to shovel her out since she had sunk down in the snow. I remember definitely not wanting to see her since I knew her body could possibly be mangled. I can't handle mangled. Then she was in the hospital... ALIVE!! I remember not seeing her for a bit then went to see her and her leg had been almost torn off her body and just nasty. They ended up stitching it back on and it was a gnarly scar! Then somehow that turned into Wayne's knee and scar. Anyway. That was it and with that I have completed my 7 dreams!! :)

Dream 6

2012-03-12T22:49:00.001-08:00

Posting this straight out of my notes that I wrote when I woke up... Maybe it makes sense? Hahaha

Basketball team on a run. Out at squirrel creek. Team bonding. Katie and I go down big slide (fell off) saved by big fluffy trees. Try to catch up. At halfway point open gate for bobby Gibbs. Wonders why we're behind. Tila late. Cassie wants to know why... Seriously. Whit going other way.

And on a side note. I remembered my final dream, so I'll post about that tomorrow!!

My sweet love

2012-03-07T22:48:00.002-09:00

So I thought I'd do a short update on my sweet babe. She's 9 months now! I can't believe how fast time has really flown. It's a blessing and a curse I tell ya! They just change SO fast! Anyway, he has one tooth, the other bottom one is ALMOST through and she crawls! Well she's been crawling since she was 6 months, but she's rather efficient at it now. She also pulls herself up on everything AND FAST! She also will stand there not holding onto anything for a few seconds.

She is eating all kinds of solids. I've started introducing just plain ol food to her. Don't think I'm going to puree anymore. She does such a great job chewing. I still avoid dairy, because I don't want it to bother her too much, but anything else is pretty much game. She claps on command, waves hi and bye when in the mood and has recently started saying "hi." And by saying I mean whispering it. It's so silly. Then tonight when she was at my mom's she taught her how to click her tongue. She doesn't do it like we do, but she sure tries. TOO CUTE.

Her cheeks are always still red. I think she has eczema considering only the hydrocortisone helps, which is a bummer because it's not really good for babies since it has steroids in it. I'm starting to get irritated by people suggesting things. If I added up the cost of EVERYTHING me or my mom or Wayne has bought we've spent a pretty penny. So as much as I appreciate the suggestions, I think time will just heal it and we'll keep it nice a moisturized until then...

So here's a few pic's of the little love! :)

Dreaming a 5th dream

2012-03-05T13:46:00.001-09:00

So I had two really awesome dreams last night, but can only remember one and really, only parts of it... So I remember driving down Egan and all of a sudden the car in front of me was hit by a car coming from west pioneer to pioneer. it was spun out on the side of the road. Then I got out and ran towards what is the Eagles, but it was like Italy. i was running down these rock stairs and there were shops all around. i felt like i was in Diagon alley from harry potter. i went into one and it was really packed and small. i was just looking for help. I saw Jessa there on a date with someone. Didn't know who it was. I started talking to them and got seriously side tracked. Then I remembered I left Layla in the car assuming I was see someone really soon and I didn't!! so I was running back as fast as I could and then she started crying. I thought it was my dream, but it was really her crying! haha! So that's one more down!!

2012-02-23T22:08:00.000-09:00

Another day zero thing is I have to identify 25 things I like about myself, so here goes!

1. I looove my eyes. I always get compliments and I like it!
2. I like my athleticness. I can pick up almost any sport. I may not be great, but I'll probably get it.
3. I like that I can cook. I haven't always been able to, but especially since becoming a stay at home mom I've really honed in on my skills.
4. I like my goofy pinky toe. It makes me, me.
5. I like that I handle pain well. Let's just say I gave birth with out even a thought of an epidural. I made it to the hospital and I had made it to 8-9 cm.
6. I like that I can fall asleep anywhere anytime. It's really come in handy :)
7. I like that I love working out. I may not always do it, but I truly get a euphoria from running and working out that is unlike anything else.
8. I like that I can TYPE! and fast!
9. I like that I can take a step back and realize things aren't THAT bad. The husband taught me this long ago. He would always say to me "no one is sick, or dying. Everything is ok." I try to say that every time I'm getting overwhelmed by a situation.
10. I like my body. I don't love my body, although I have, but I really do. I'm a curvy lady and that's OKAY!
11. I like that I run my own business. It took a lot of guts and hard work, but I'm doing it!
12. I like that I am musically inclined. I can carry a tune and play a few instruments :)
13. I like that I'm honest. It may not always be nice (and those I try to keep to myself) but, at least I don't get caught up in lies
14. I like that I'm open. I try to not get bogged down by what I think I believe or just by what someone has told me, I try to listen to all sides and decide for myself whats best for me. Research is also key in that
15. I like that I'm more spiritual now. I feel like having a better bond with God has made me a better person.
16. I like that I am technologically sound. I can work my way around almost any technology.
17. I love my ability to forgive easily. I'm not one to hold a grudge.
18. I love my creative self. Whether it be photography, hair dressing or whatever!
19. I love my love for animals. I guess it's the same as babies. I love cute and cuddly things. I love that I love cute and cuddly things :)
20. I like that I remember peoples special things. Whether it be a birthday, christmas, just because, WHATEVER! I never forget thank you notes and I'm sure people appreciate this. It makes me happy.
21. I like that I have family upon family upon family. I have my REAL family, which can be quite extensive, I have my in laws who are awesome and also quite extensive, then my love not blood family which is also quite extensive. I love love love it.
22. I like that I love to garden. It's a recent love, presumably inherited by my mutha. I think it's ever since I got a yard I've been more interested.
23. I like my hair... most days. I like that it's versatile most. I can straighten it, curl it, it's kinda curlyish so lots of options.
24. I like my parenting skills. I like to think I have just the right mixture of love and discipline.
25. I like the feeling of my skin. Sounds weird and boastful, but my skin on my stomach has always been really soft. I love it.

One hundred: Happy

2012-02-22T10:41:00.000-09:00

Oh boy and a half! 100 things that make me happy! Here goes nothin'!

Layla's giggle
Waynes dimples
A good cup of coffee
Reality TV
Game shows
Rosie (my truck)
Smell of fresh laundry
Making food people enjoy
Pink
Girl scout cookies
Pictures
Babies
New clothes
Great big hugs
Reading
The Bible
Breastfeeding
Being pregnant
Yellow
Cats
Snow
Family
Friends
Glass of wine
Memories
Crunching leaves in fall
Down comforters
Hot showers/baths
Christmas
Naps
Holding hands with Wayne
Backrubs
Running
Tim Tebow... it's true love I tell ya!
Shopping
Phantom of the Opera
Old school Disney movies
A good fitting pair of jeans
Pinterest
Nail polish
My jewelry
Alaska
The beach
Travelling
Being debt free
Laughing
Sunsets/sunrises
Wayne's arms
Wayne
Flip flops
Yoga
Basketball
Volleyball
College football
Layla
A nice warm blanket
Moutains
Playing card games with my grandma
A good joke
Boys
Grilled Cheddarwurst
Good advice
My moms cookin'
Harry Potter
Giving birth
Crocheting
Mac
Making my own bread from grains I grind
Flowers
Watching Layla grow and learn new things
Florida Gators
Romance
Heels
MAC Make up
Dogs
Warmth
Sleeping
Quiet
Good manners
Photography
Music
Daydreaming
Reeses
Hoodies
Bows
Doing hair
Saving money
Brushing my teeth
Thoughtful gifts
Giving out Christmas cards
Helping people
A clean house
Layla's fingers and toes
Cranberry juice
Dalen Beck's smooches
Blogging
Getting thank you notes
Visual history (I'm not much of a textbook learning history person)
Coloring
New car smell

Gulkana, a memory

2012-02-01T20:48:00.000-09:00

Another one of day zero's items is write our favorite memory on Gulkana St. If you're unaware of where that is, it's the street I grew up on.

So, my favorite memories include anything with my neighbors. I thought long and hard about one specific one, but couldn't pin point it. However, everything I could think of included my neighbors. Whether it was building snow forts with the Comer's, playing with Kokomo, Marcie Robertson's dog, climbing my cousin Melissa and Christine's tree, finding bird nests in the Hill's entry way, life was never dull. I cherish every moment that I had with every one of my neighbors and that's why those times are my favorite memory.

Day Zero Project: 50 Questions that will Free your Mind

2012-01-31T16:27:00.001-09:00

So as one of our Day Zero Project items, we found this cool list of questions that will supposedly free our minds. :) Needless to say, we found the questions intriguing and decided to give it a go! So here are my questions and answers. Maybe you can get your mind freed as well.

1. How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you are?
A: Well, I guess it's easy when you start off with an easy question, right? I'm saying 21, only because if ever asked it's just what comes out. Although I am 25, in fact almost 26, it just feels right to be 21. Maybe it's because I had such a plan for my life and when it didn't work, I formed what HAD become my life into what I thought it was going to be. For example, I was SURE I was going to be married and have a kid by the age of 21. Here I am, married and have a kid, yet I'm 25. So if I place myself back into that "21" I am instantly where I thought I would be. I feel it in body and mind though too. I feel young, fresh, fun, ect.

2. Which is worse, failing or never trying?
A: Definitely never trying. How can you fail with out trying? Why not succeed? Is it truly possible to fail every time? No. So if you never try, you will never succeed.

3. If life is so short, why do we do so many things we don’t like and like so many things we don’t do?
A: Don't we wish we could do everything we wanted so perfectly? Life is also about give and take. You can't make JUST yourself happy everyday or who would you be? A self centered... You know what. Also, you can't do EVERYTHING in life. I mean you can plan and expect and desire to do these things, but some things may be, say, financially impossible. I have on my bucket list to go see the seven wonders of the natural world. Now I'm well aware these are all over the world, but I have every intention of doing it with in my LIFETIME. Life is short, but it is also a very long time to do the things you want to do and unfortunately have to do the things you sometimes don't want to.

4. When it’s all said and done, will you have said more than you’ve done?
A: Absolutely not. It is an impossible mission. I would LOVE to be able to do all I've said I wanted to, but I can't. I want to have a million kids, but it's just not feasible. In my dreams!

5. What is the one thing you’d most like to change about the world?
A: This is going to sound so stereotypical, but I wish we could all just get along. How amazing would this planet be if we all agreed. If every country welcomed you with open arms and didn't want to harm you. Stealing from Semi-Pro the movie, EVERYBODY LOVE EVERYBODY! Wouldn't that be just grand? A world with no malice and hate... ahhh... if only.

6. If happiness was the national currency, what kind of work would make you rich?
A: Being a mom. I know it's not really a "job" job, but it is to me. It really is a lot of work and I think people don't quite understand. It is TWENTY FOUR SEVEN. I dream about Layla, I worry about Layla at night, ect. However, it is truly the most rewarding and amazing "job" I've ever had. I've never smiled as much as I have, since I've had that sweet angel. I can only imagine what more will do. I get smitten at the thought of having more little Valentine's running around. <3

7.Are you doing what you believe in, or are you settling for what you are doing?
A: Honestly, for a long time I'm not sure if I knew what I believed in. It hasn't been until recently that I've figured out what I believe in and yes, I'm moving towards acting on what I believe in. i can't say I've ever settled for what I'm doing. I guess in round about way I was, but when you don't have a belief or your belief is so loose, almost everything fits into your category of "belief," therefore, you are doing what you believe in. If that makes sense. :P

8. If the average human life span was 40 years, how would you live your life differently?
A: Isn't this how it used to be? Isn't this why girls were wives at 14 and having babies by 16? In this culture, even if your life expectancy was only 40 I'm not sure if 14 year olds would be wives. However, this is not asking about culture, this is asking about me. I'm not sure if I would do much different. Maybe approach life with more urgency, try to teach my children everything I know or want them to know. You know, I might document my life a little better so that 3 generations (which would only be about 100 years later) from me, they'll know who I am and what I was like and believe in.

9. To what degree have you actually controlled the course your life has taken?
A: I feel like I've had complete control over my life and course it's taken, however, God is probably looking at me as I type this and laughing. :P I knew I always wanted to be a mom, and go to hair school and I've done all those things. I feel the further along in life I go the less in control I'm in. Mostly due to the fact that I'm married though. In this case, you have to compromise and that's exactly what I am and will be doing.

10. Are you more worried about doing things right, or doing the right things?
A: Anybody that knows me probably would say "doing things right." I like things done the right way and by right way I mean my way. HAHA!! In my own defense though, I do things with the intentions of doing the right things. I want to be right and good all the time, but I want them to be done right too! I'm trying to move away from being a "perfectionist" and more towards just doing right things, so ask me again in a year or so. :P

11. You’re having lunch with three people you respect and admire. They all start criticizing a close friend of yours, not knowing she is your friend. The criticism is distasteful and unjustified. What do you do?
A: SPEAK UP. I'm one to stick up for other people, especially if it's distasteful. You know, if the two of you don't get along fine, that doesn't mean talking negatively behind their back is the right thing to do. I'm guilty of this at times, but constantly trying to be better and a better person.

12. If you could offer a newborn child only one piece of advice, what would it be?
A: Oh man, only ONE?! Hmmm... Listen to your elders. Is that cheating? haha!! Okay, I'll try a little harder. My advice would be, love one another, unconditionally.

13. Would you break the law to save a loved one?
A: There's a good chance. Say someone said "steal that piece of gum or Wayne dies." OF COURSE I would steal a piece of gum. Waynes life is SO much more valuable than a piece of gum. Now technically that is breaking the law, so it's easy to say yes. However, I think on a larger scale like, kill someone, I'm not sure... I think it's a situational thing and you would have to be there. It's not something you can predetermine.

14. Have you ever seen insanity where you later saw creativity?
A: What an interesting question... I've been thinking about it long and hard but can't seem to come up with anything that I might see as insanity and then creativity. Maybe as Layla gets older and she starts drawing me pictures. :)

15. What’s something you know you do differently than most people?
A: Goodness, there is probably a million things I do differently, but to name one... Let's see. I put my make up on different than anyone I know. :)

16. How come the things that make you happy don’t make everyone happy?
A: Because everyone has a different idea of what happy is. Different things make different people happy. For me it's my beautiful Layla, where as someone else may not even want children and to them it's traveling. And I have lots of things that make me happy! Heck, there's probably tons of things that make me and other people happy.

17. What one thing have you not done that you really want to do? What’s holding you back?
A: Skydiving. I know it will be a thrill and I will adore it, it just takes a lot of guts and I don't feel like I have quite the guts yet. Who knows though, I might say that forever. I'll do it someday though. Yes, yes I will.

18. Are you holding onto something you need to let go of?
A: Kind of. It is something I have clearly moved on from but it frequents me occasionally with the "what if's."

19. If you had to move to a state or country besides the one you currently live in, where would you move and why?
A: Ok, I'm going to go 2 ways with this. Unrealistically I would move to England. I, for whatever reason, think I would be very happy there. It's similar enough to the US, they speak english, ect, ect. Realistically, probably Ohio. It would make my husband happy, I think I'll end up happy and we'll be surrounded by tons of loving family members. It will also be easy to access all my relatives in Florida, California, Idaho, Arizona. The list could go on and on.

20. Do you push the elevator button more than once? Do you really believe it makes the elevator faster?
A: Sometimes. I think I don't more than I do. In fact, I don't think I press the actual number more than once, it's if it has a door close button that's the one I press over and over and over. I do not think it makes it go any faster, but I think it occupies my mind enough while I'm waiting that it feels faster.

21. Would you rather be a worried genius or a joyful simpleton?
A: Joyful simpleton for sure. This is kind of off topic, but I have been on "the pill" birth control and while I was on it, it gave me THE WORST anxiety and worry I've ever had. It truly made everyday life such a stress. Since getting off it's gotten so much better. Needless to say, I've been worried and not even a genius and it was terrible, so why would I want to be a genius and be worried? NO THANKS!

22. Why are you, you?
A: Because God made me, me! DUH! Ha! Seriously though, I'm me, because I've been through different life tribulations that have carved me into the person I am.

23. Have you been the kind of friend you want as a friend?
A: Most the time. I can't say I have 100%. I'd love to be in touch with more people and more compassionate and caring, but at the same time I think I'm extremely thoughtful and am always there. That's what I would want in a friend. Not someone that just takes takes takes.

24. Which is worse, when a good friend moves away, or losing touch with a good friend who lives right near you?

A: I think losing touch with a good friend who lives right near you. I feel like then, there is no excuse. If someone doesn't live near you it's easier and more understandable that you lose touch. Still not acceptable, but understandable. Losing touch with someone that lives right near you, I think is just laziness and uncaring.

25. What are you most grateful for?
A: The life God has blessed me with. I have amazing parents, an awesome brother, a husband that came straight from a dream, the most adorable little girl, great in-law's and friends I couldn't live with out. I am able to stay at home with my baby girl and make food for my family. I am truly blessed.

26. Would you rather lose all of your old memories, or never be able to make new ones?
A: Oh man. Thing is, I can guarantee my old memories are great. I'm pretty sure my new ones are going to be great, but how will I ever know. And why would I give up a guarantee for a maybe. I think maybe before I had Layla I would say never be able to make new ones, just so I could retain my past, but now that I've had her, I can't imagine not making memories with her. If I couldn't remember those moments with her it would break my heart.

27. Is it possible to know the truth without challenging it first?
A: Sure. It's called trust and belief. Say for example, if Wayne said I parked the car on the ride side of the driveway, when he normally parks it on the left, I would just believe him. I don't need to challenge it by saying "well you normally park it on the left side, why would you park it on the right? I'll just go check." I just trust and believe him.

28. Has your greatest fear ever come true?
A: No. Thank goodness. My biggest fear is that Layla will die. I could not imagine what that would be like and I pray it will never come to pass.

29. Do you remember that time 5 years ago when you were extremely upset? Does it really matter now?
A: Not at all. This is something I really need to focus on during every argument or anytime I'm feeling extremely frustrated.

30. What is your happiest childhood memory? What makes it so special?
A: Racing worms in the sandbox with Jessa. It's so special because it was just us being innocent and having a real friendship. An amazing childhood friendship. Not that we don't have a great friendship now, but a childhood friendship is so much more deep. You almost need each other. I can't remember going a day with out seeing her. There weren't any hard feelings or judgements. It was great.

31. At what time in your recent past have you felt most passionate and alive?
A: The day my baby was born. I've never felt love, a passionate love like that in my life. It gave me a feeling of aliveness being able to give birth to her. Carrying a child is such a magical time and then giving birth to the little miracle is just AMAZING. I firmly believe in unmedicated births. If you want to feel alive, do that!

32. If not now, then when?
A: Never. HA! No, just because I can't do it now doesn't mean I'll never do it, as this question is insinuating. Somethings just take time and proper planning.

33. If you haven’t achieved it yet, what do you have to lose?
A: Sometimes everything. Sometimes nothing. It's not always go big or go home. Sometimes things you want achieve so bad are not the best for you. However, if it is something worth it and you haven't achieved it you have nothing at all to lose and you should just go for it!

34. Have you ever been with someone, said nothing, and walked away feeling like you just had the best conversation ever?
A: Can't say that I have. If I did, I don't remember it. If I did and don't remember, then shame on me and it is truly my loss.

35. Why do religions that support love cause so many wars?
A: Is this still common? I know in the past this is the case. Catholics, Baptists, Mormons, ect, but does it really still happen. I guess I can't judge since I don't know anything about most religions, but I'm assuming this is in reference to Muslims? If that is the case, I hope it is because of passion. The thought of someone else not loving God the way you do and not seeing "the truth" might hurt someone so bad that a war is created. I don't think this is what He would have wanted, but I suppose this is why?

36. Is it possible to know, without a doubt, what is good and what is evil?
A: I wish. I really do wish life and decisions were so black and white. Also, what is good to someone might be evil to another. There are so many different life perspectives it's hard to say what this person might feel is evil while you feel otherwise.

37. If you just won a million dollars, would you quit your job?
A: Well, considering my job is being a mom, NO WAY! :) However, if I did have a traditional job, it would depend. It would depend on how much I made and how much time I spent away from home. If I was getting paid poorly and got paid junk, then absolutely. Now if it was vital that I work and 1 million wouldn't really make a difference then yes, I would continue to work. One million is a lot, but it's not that much. I'm only 25 too, maybe if I was later in my life, had been working a job where I already had a retirement and a million would stretch me to the end of my life then sure.

38.Would you rather have less work to do, or more work you actually enjoy doing?
A: Depends on the day. I'd say most days more work I enjoy doing, but I can see how there might be a day where I would just rather have less work to do.

39. Do you feel like you’ve lived this day a hundred times before?
A: Today, for sure. Get up, hang with baby, watch kids, play on computer, watch tv, clean kitchen, do laundry, make dinner, ect... YES, I DO!

40. When was the last time you marched into the dark with only the soft glow of an idea you strongly believed in?
A: Just recently. We've recently being trying to find Christ. I've got a soft glow of an idea of what I strongly believe in, but the darkness is slowly lifting and we couldn't be happier. It is making our lives, marriage and family so so so much stronger. It's been incredibly rewarding.

41. If you knew that everyone you know was going to die tomorrow, who would you visit today?
A: What a sad and depressing question! At any rate, I have to answer it. If distance was no matter, I would visit both parents, both my grandma's, Wayne and Layla. Ugh, this makes me sick thinking about. Next question please.

42. Would you be willing to reduce your life expectancy by 10 years to become extremely attractive or famous?
A: Nope. I don't think that's a great trade off. I'm perfectly happy being me. The unfamous, not ridiculously attractive, plain old me of a wife, mother and daughter.

43. What is the difference between being alive and truly living?
A: I think being alive is just going through the everyday motions with out truly seeing the beauty in life. Truly living is seeing the small things. Smiling at something that may have made you mad, tasting something you never had and hugging more than once a day.

44. When is it time to stop calculating risk and rewards, and just go ahead and do what you know is right?
A: For me, never. Just because you know it's right doesn't mean it's the best thing to do. Take for example a move. I know the right thing to do is to move to Florida (not really Florida, just an example), but I know, after weighing the risks and rewards, that we won't be able to live a good life there, I wouldn't do it. I don't think this is the case for every situation, but why does there have to be no risk and rewards evaluation? Why do we have to just go ahead and do something, where it right or wrong?

45. If we learn from our mistakes, why are we always so afraid to make a mistake?
A: Because it hurts. Most the time that is. Why do you think your elders always try to teach you? Because they know if you mess up and you'll be ok? Of course you will eventually, but right away you hurt and if they can avoid you getting hurt, why wouldn't they?

46. What would you do differently if you knew nobody would judge you?
A: Discipline my children in public. I understand I don't have "children" just yet, I just have one, but when I do I wish I could discipline them the way I would at home in public with out such a controversy. I don't hurt my child out of rage, I discipline my child out of love.

47. When was the last time you noticed the sound of your own breathing?
A: I can't think right off the bat, but I would venture to guess when I last went running. I always try to listen for my breathing to see if I need to calm it out. I'm constantly telling myself to relax.

48. What do you love? Have any of your recent actions openly expressed this love?
A: Oh, I love a lot! I love my family and yes, I tell them all the time, I cook for them, I play with them, I hold their hand, hug and kiss them. I love food, so I cook.

49. In 5 years from now, will you remember what you did yesterday? What about the day before that? Or the day before that?
A: Probably not. Who's to say I have to vividly remember everyday though? I actually probably will remember yesterday because Wayne and I watched a DVD on how to strengthen our marriage through God. There were a lot of great tips to help settle disputes and understand each other better. It's something I will probably think about during any argument from now on and whether I'll remember the whole day or just those tips, I'll remember it. Oh! And Jaime and I made a delicious homemade apple pie from scratch for the first time, so I will probably remember that too! So, YES! I probably will remember yesterday, 5 years from now.

50. Decisions are being made right now. The question is: Are you making them for yourself, or are you letting others make them for you?
A: I think I make my own decisions for sure. I keep other people in mind constantly, but I am me and I will make decisions that I think are best for me and my family. Always.

I have to say these questions really got my brain working, but is that a bad thing? I hope you enjoyed reading them as much as I enjoyed answering them. And honestly, if you made it through the whole thing, then BRAVO!! You're one dedicated soul!

Layla Loo!

2012-01-10T22:50:00.001-09:00

She MUST be hardcore teething at this point... She took TWO 30 minute naps today. You can feel her teeth right on the edge. I hope they come soon, poor baby. We've started broadening our horizons in the food range. She had zucchini and carrots for the first time today! she LOVES the zucchini and is ok on the carrots. I don't think she likes the carrots texture. She really can't get enough of the zucc's though. she's been sleeping for over 4 hours now, which is good, so hopefully tonight will be better than the lasts. I guess I should probably go to bed, I have to be up bright and early. BOO!!

Layla...

2012-01-06T10:58:00.001-09:00

this is HARD!! I think I need to cut back on how much I post. Generally speaking most everyday is the same, so I'm just going to be posting the minor and major milestones. Her sleeping and doing things normal is not a milestone, ya know? Most times what I don't feel like posting is usually because nothing really "stand-outish" happened. Anyway, just wanted to let you know that's why :P

Layla - 221 days old

2012-01-03T21:22:00.001-09:00

Oh what a GLORIOUS night! Well... after all the crying. She FINALLY fell asleep for good around 8:30ish. From there, she was OUT until 5 something this morning, she ate and slept again until 10 am!! I think that's the latest she's ever slept in! She was pretty awesome today too. Went down easy for naps, she took 2, one of which we had to wake her up from so she would go down for bed at a decent time. She ate her usual oatmeal and applesauce today! :) My mom got her an activity table and she's really loving it. She's really into standing up right now, so standing up on something other than the couch or the hope chest.

On a side note, I made a beef stroganoff tonight that sucked :( I'm sad. I don't like making food that sucks. It was edible, but not good. The boys said they'd eat it till it's gone, because ironically I made A LOT of it... Anyway, That's all! Night!

Oh! And so far, since I've put her down at 7:45 I haven't heard a peep out of her! :) HAPPY MOM!!

Layla - 220 days old

2012-01-02T22:11:00.004-09:00

Ugh... I feel sick... Layla went down just after 7 and she's woken up 2 or 3 times now, once for 40 minutes. I can't go in there or else I'll ruin all our progress, but it literally makes me sick to listen to her. :( I get all anxious and sick feeling. Anyway, she slept GREAT last night. Went to bed just before 8 and slept with out a peep until 2:30, then slept again with out a peep until just after 8. However, her first nap, when I put her down at 10:30, she slept for about 10 minutes then woke up and was playing in her crib. I leave her in there an hour no matter how she's acting because she at least an hour of just alone time. Well she talked some of it, cried some of it and was quiet some of it. It wasn't until it had been literally 59 minutes did she fall back asleep... She was asleep only a half an hour but it was better than nothing. She then went to Nana's so W and I could shovel out a path to our fuel tank. She had fun running errands and hanging out. We came back home and she passed right out. She actually fell asleep eating, which is rare. She took the best nap she has in days, which was about an hour and a half. She was up semi happily until she went to bed just after 7. So, we'll see how the rest of our night goes. I just wish she could sleep peacefully... until tomorrow!

Layla - 219 days

2012-01-01T20:40:00.000-09:00

I though I'd go ahead and recap yesterday as well as today since I am constantly trying to catch up. Yesterday was horrid :( today too!! She got up from her last nap around 3 yesterday and so she had to wait till almost 7 to go to bed. That is a LONG time for Layla. Needless to say she had a ROUGH night... She was up every 15 minutes from 7 to 8:30 just crying. I knew nothing was wrong so I had to just leave here there, but poor thing. Just SO tired. Wayne and I went to bed at like 8:45... on NEW YEARS EVE! Wayne was so tired from having to get up at 5 am after getting maybe 5 hours of sleep and I just went with him knowing it was probably going to be a long night. And it was... Poor girl. I heard her up quite a bit, mostly because of fireworks. Normally she would sleep through them, but not tonight... Needless to say I fed her at 3:30 and she was up around 8:30. Took a 30ish minute before nap (just long enough for me to get ready), then fell asleep while I was feeding her in church for another half an hour or so. After we got home I made her take a nap at 2, to which she cried for the first 5 or so minutes then fell asleep for... an hour? So she again was up from 3 until she went to bed tonight at 7:30ish. We were at my moms for dinner. We had some SCRUMPTIOUS ham and I made potatoes. She did rather well with the lack of sleep. My mom also picked up this table with interactive stuff on it that she loves and she's totally into right now. She loves pulling herself up on stuff. Oh! This is going to sound weird, but she had her first more "solid" poop today. It's usually very runny and semi cottage cheese like, but this was more like soft serve ice cream. I'm assuming because she's been eating more normal food. She's eating about 2-3 tablespoons worth of oatmeal then half or more of a applesauce. She really likes it! She still is mostly breastfed though. She's trying new foods everyday like banana, and lots of sugar at nana's. She also last night had her first frozen strawberry. I put it in the little mess container thing and she just sucked on it. She really likes it! I think that's all for now! :)

Layla - 215 days old

2011-12-30T17:44:00.000-09:00

This is for yesterday since I got really busy last night... She let me sleep in!! There are always benefits and not so benefits to this. Obvious benefit is I got to sleep later! WAAHOO!! Not so benefit was that she took a late first nap and a late second nap and when it was time for bed she wasn't all that tired. Tired enough to go to sleep, but not tired enough to sleep super well. So last night it was up at 2:30 and again at 6:30. The 6:30 one I brought her downstairs and let her co-sleep/nurse and got an extra hour and a half out of her. She has been so happy these last couple days, all the way until bed time and it's sooo awesome! She's been less clingy too. The only time she really gets clingy is if she's hungry or she's tired. I think that's pretty normal. Overall a great day with my baby girl...

Layla - 214 days old

2011-12-28T10:18:00.000-09:00

Holy almost missed 2 days!! I have been BEYOND busy these last couple of days. Between basketball, cleaning up after the holiday, parties, pictures... you name it! Anyway, Miss Layla has been hanging out at her Nana's the last couple of days while I am at basketball practice and she's doing really well with it! She took a great nap the first day, but the second day not so much. Last night she got to go to a party with me with some of my girlfriends from high school! One of them has a little boy, but he wasn't too fond of her. Apparently, he likes the older ladies. :P She's starting to say the mmm sound. So I get "Ma" every now and then. And she's gone to bed well the last 2 nights, only getting up once anytime between 3 and 5 to feed. This results in around a 9 am wake up! yay!! I think that's all for not, plus I have her climbing all over my legs right now, so time to go!

Layla - 212 days old

2011-12-25T23:00:00.000-09:00

Well, day 212 was Layla's FIRST Christmas! How fun and exciting! It was definitely an all day process. She got up bright and early at 6:45, by 8 Nana had text to see if we wanted to come over for breakfast, so we did! Biscuits and gravy... YUM! By the end of breakfast Layla apparently decided it was time to take a nap. so we came home and little miss took a nice 2 hour nap. She woke up just in time to get ready and go to church. It was a lovely service and I got to see some friends. Then we came home to wake daddy up and have Layla's Christmas! I got a video and a few pictures of her! She was interested a little in the beginning but then got bored. After Layla Christmas we talked to grandpa and grandma with facetime. They got her one of those books where you read it and record it. So when she reads it she hears Grandpa's voice! She loved it and listened to the whoooole story. Then it was time for her afternoon nap and mommy and daddy's turn for Christmas. Not to mention I had to make food for dinner and Nana's. I got Wayne an espresso maker!! He loved it and completely did not suspect it, which was the best part! So as other gifts he got all the accessories to his big gift. He got white chocolate powder, espresso beans and a grinder. He also got 3 Clint Eastwood movies and Modern Warfare 3. He got a new basting brush in his stocking a magazine, razors, lint roller and candy in his stocking. I got my treadmill of course, this AWESOME zip up underarmour hoodie! I seriously love it! He also got me a Buc blue shirt and the best gift of all.... AN EXTERNAL FLASH!! Seriously, I have the coolest freaking husband! I've been testing it out and WOW! It's awesome! So we waited and waited for Layla to get up... She took over a 2 hour nap!! YAY FOR HER! She always chooses the days we have a lot of things to do to take her good naps. Then we went to Nana and Papa's to eat prime rib dinner! We ate the scrumptiousness then opened presents. Layla got a lot of good things. Lots of pretty clothes and fun toys. I got my much desired cast iron skillet, lots of place mats and a great gift card to pick up something I wanted. It was such a great day and I am SO blessed to have such an amazing family. I hope everyone had as great of a Christmas as I did. And never ever forget the real reason, to celebrate His birth. Night!

My homemade gifts

2011-12-24T23:03:00.001-09:00

Nothing is as beautiful as gifts made from the heart. I decided this year to do a lot of my gifts homemade! Especially for people that meant a lot to me. So here's the lot!

Mackenzie's hat. Hand crocheted <3

Detail of her hat

Detail of Addy's hat

Cute little Addy rockin her headband

This was by far my favorite make! I didn't have a pattern or anything! It's a rice heating pad :)

Close up of the heating pad I made Bristyl

Jaime's ring and bobby pins

Jessa's ring and bobby pins

I have to say this was so rewarding! I'll definitely be doing it again! :)

Layla - 211 days old

2011-12-24T21:35:00.000-09:00

Well, a big, probably temporary milestone last night! She slept through the night! Like 7 pm to 8 am! It was great! All except the soaking wet shirt, bed and engorged breasts... ha! Oh and the constant worry all night that instead of sleeping soundly, she MUST be dead! agh! So far tonight I haven't heard anything from her, so maybe we'll do a repeat! So today, was officially Layla's very first Christmas eve! We got our last packages and wrapped our last presents. Also, all her Comer Aunties came over to see her and unwrap presents! I made all their gifts this year, which I'll post about in a moment. I'm trying to change her to 2 definite naps. So I'm trying to stretch her awake time to 3 hours instead of the normal 2. Layla had new bites of a lot of little things. She ate her normal oatmeal, then she tried some banana. She wasn't really too fond of it. She was able to spit it out after making some pretty epic faces. Then I got some unsweetened applesauce and she tried that. This was way more comical considering it was more of a runny texture so she couldn't figure out how to get it out of mouth as easy as she got the banana. I thought she might warm up to them, but she didn't really to either. Oh well... with time I think. Then we went to Nana and Papa's for Christmas eve dinner. It was delicious! We had lobster tail, asparagus, corn casserole and a yummy salad. We came home and miss Layla went to bed, with no idea tomorrow will be her FIRST CHRISTMAS!! :) Here is my little babe in her Christmas jammies!

Layla - 210 days old

2011-12-24T00:20:00.000-09:00

Oh what a blessing my little girl is... really. I love her to death. She let me sleep in until almost 9 today! We played a little and then she took her morning nap. This was around 11. She only slept about 20 minutes, but i let her be in there an hour so she could have some quiet time. When she was sleeping, I went and took a shower. When I finally went to get her we went and ran errands! We went all kinds of places and to visit poor Scoutie who got hit with a porcupine! She seems to be doing a little better. I think Layla cheered her up! :) Then we came home and played some more! She ate her cereal and seems to be wanting anything that's going in our mouths :P She tried some bread today. Maybe I need to start adding some food to her arsenal. She took a bath tonight, which she loves, especially since she's sitting up in the big kid bath now. Then down to bed. She's been asleep going on 5 hours now. It's been nice. I've been up making gifts for people. I'm going to do a completely different post on that, but i'll leave you with my sweet sleeping angel. Here she is tonight...

A DREAM!!!

2011-12-23T10:21:00.002-09:00

I don't remember a whole lot, in fact i JUST remembered it, but I dreamed that Layla got her 2 bottom teeth! I remember thinking, well no wonder she hasn't been sleeping and has been fussy! :P

Layla - 209 days old

2011-12-22T23:01:00.000-09:00

Holy rough day :( I hate when she has days like this. She woke up at 7, which was far to early for when she went to bed, but I got up and handled it. I put her down for her first nap around 9 and she slept for about an hour. It was decent. Jaime came over to make cookies, which was interesting... ha! still have yet to make the others. Tried to put layla down for a nap and she went down great, but 5 minutes later she was UP! I let her cry for a bit, then decided maybe she wanted some food, so I fed her and nothing. So she got up and was up until 2:30 or so and i tried to put her down for a nap again and... nothing. Down for 10 minutes and up crying. I couldn't handle listening to her anymore (in a good way) so i went to take a shower. when i had got up, wayne had gone and got her and had her almost asleep on the recliner. We decided this was probably best just to let her sleep with him. She slept for about 35 minutes (which was good at this point) and got her ready to go. We went to the alumni game and she actually did pretty well. She had a few rough spots, but it was good. We came home, got jammies on, fed her and put her right to bed. she went right to sleep. I didn't hear a peep out of her until... now. for the last 10 minutes she's been crying. I know she's in there standing up, holding on to the edge of her crib. She sounds tired though, so i'm waiting the allotted 1 hour, which is what i normally do. i may go down to my room. it's easier when she's not so loud in my face. Anyway, it's been a rough day and i can only assume it's because she's kind of sick or maybe getting teeth. I'm not sure, but i hope it gets better soon :( My poor babe. NIGHT!

Layla - 208 days old

2011-12-21T22:55:00.000-09:00

Oh my my my! I was rather tired this morning, seeing as though Layla decided she wasn't going to sleep worth beans last night! I felt like I had a newborn again. it was painful! She kept crying and not really wanting anything. That girl is everywhere and pulling herself up on everything! She's crazy! She is the sweetest thing though. She's got a great laugh and could light up my everyday. her dad fed her some oatmeal and i guess it went well so yay! Poor girl had to stay up too long and went to bed and was asleept 30 minutes before she woke up crying. she cried for 35 minutes! :( we're working on her going back to sleep on her own, so no intervention from us. She luckily went back to sleep, so hopefully tonight will be better than last! night y'all!

Layla - 207 days old

2011-12-20T22:27:00.000-09:00

So poo... I've already missed a day. How sad! :P I was sooo tired last night I hardly had energy to do anything... But yesterday she went to her nana's and hung out for a good 4 hours while W, Mueller and I went cross country skiing with Santina. It was a good time! It's a work out, which I think we all liked! She was good the whole day though! I went to the basketball christmas party and it was up to W to put her to bed and as usual, it didn't work out. For some reason, she finds no comfort in him. I think if it was between a stranger and W she would probably choose him, but otherwise, not so much.

As for today, she let me sleep in again until 8:30! yay! She napped SO good, besides her first nap which I was at practice for and so W had to put her down. It was only a 35 minute nap or so. She was happy though! She played around with the girls. She likes to play with her presents under the tree. She puts them in her mouth and tries to eat them. She's been trying new bits of foods every now and then. She gets oatmeal everyday, but my mom gave her banana and caramels. Tonight we had the PD christmas party. She got all dressed up and looked so stinkin cute. She was so well behaved too. I just love that girl. She got to stay up a little past her bed time and went to bed around 7:30 tonight ;) Here's hoping for a good night!