A Therapist's View

Facts About Exercise and the Benefits for Mental Health

2012-01-26T19:38:00.000-08:00

While counseling sessions include talking and sitting, a lot of the magic occurs outside the therapy room. Treating exercise as a "prescription" is often an essential benefit for mental health. Individuals that have a scheduled calendar fitting in exercise generally feel better mentally. A free and natural prescription!

Why exercise for mental health? Exercise "feels" good mentally and physically. When you exercise, your body releases chemicals called endorphins. That feeling known as a "runner's high" comes from the endorphins that interact with the receptors in your brain that actually reduce pain. The brain reacts to this feeling and sees life in a more positive and energetic light. This is similar to the effects of a pain killer and can decrease the perception of pain.

Research shows that exercise improves self-esteem, decreases feelings of depression and anxiety, improves sleep, and diminishes stress. Exercise can be just as effective as an anti-depressant when treating depression and anxiety and has no side effects!

Exercise can be fun and a way of life. Some examples include: Dancing, Golf, Housework, Team or League Sports, Tennis, Swimming, Walking, Biking, Gardening, Yoga, and Jogging.

The socialization during exercise is also beneficial. Activities or sports allow time with other people, another added support for good mental health.

The combination of counseling and exercise can intensify the therapy experience. The mind and body are working together, a perfect harmony for happiness. :)

Understanding Attention Deficit Disorder For Individuals and Families

2012-01-13T14:08:00.000-08:00

Living with Attention Deficit Disorder can be very challenging no matter what age you are. The following information can improve the understanding of how if feels to live with this disorder.

While called a disorder, ADD is actually a gift. The ADD individual is able to process more information than the average person and sees, hears, smells, and feels in a hypersensitive way. If we were cavemen back in time, we would want this individual to be at the entrance of the cave as he or she would "sense" the enemy or predator before the rest of us would. We are not cavemen and live in modern times, however, we can be creative to allow our gifts to work for us.

Working with the positives of ADD can be very beneficial to the individual. For example: If the person/child etc. has difficulty staying on task, it is probably that the task is not very interesting. The environment is very stimulating and the data the receive constantly is always coming from many different directions. Therefore, it is very difficult to stay on task when the TV, friends talking, or phone calls are coming in. However, doing the simple, "one step at a time" can eliminate distractions. Training the brain to focus on one task and not allowing the behavior to change until the task is complete is a beneficial "rule" to follow.

People with ADD can pay attention and stay on task. When they do it they do it very well. It helps to practice everyday to avoid allowing the distractions to take over. It has been helpful when families are aware of the hypersensitivity of these individuals. Family members can assist and help by being aware of how their behavior can lend to the distractions. For example, if your child is doing homework, turn off the television, do not ask them questions or do anything that would interfere with what they are doing. In other words, do not teach your children to multitask. Always remember that their brains are unique and do not work the same way. Taking the time to understand and empathize can enhance, not hinder the workings of the ADD brain. Treat yourself, your children and your family with care and encouragement, not as sufferers of a disorder. :)

Coping with the Holiday Blues

2011-12-12T11:29:00.000-08:00

This year appears to be increasingly stressful and emotional for folks. Some reasons for this increase is the poor economy, more job loss, grief/loss reminders, and our yearly inner reflection. If one of these items is not bringing you good tidings this year, try some of these ideas:

- The Poor Economy: Many people are needing to change their socioeconomic status. It has been difficult for people to accept a "less" than way of life. Needs vs. wants overall, will suffice in the current and also for the long term. A penny saved now is worth an increasing dollar amount owed over time. Stick to a realistic and current budget. Try not to focus on, "what we used to have." Try to project toward, "what we could have in the future." This provides a plan and control. Less debt overall contributes to less stress and healthier living overall.

- Job Loss: People continue to lose their jobs. Realize the realistic control of your current situation. If you have found yourself unemployed, focus your thoughts on, "I am marketable, I have talent and skills, I will do my best to make the necessary changes." Staying in control cognitively and behaviorally can decrease stress, increase confidence and maintain positive self-esteem.

- Grief/loss: With all the "Ho Ho Ho's" going around, "who would know" about being sad around such a joyous, "most wonderful time of the year." I would guess about 80% of people feel remorse, sadness, and some grief around the holidays. It is a reminder of old memories, the times we no longer have, and the people we have lost. There is more loneliness and despair. Allowing yourself to feel your emotions at some points when emotions come up is helpful. Sharing with someone you can trust, or writing about your feelings can process this work and get it out of your system. This can help you resolve your grief much quicker.

-Yearly Inner Reflection: Because it is the end of the year, most people look at what they did or did not do for the year. Try to spend time reflecting upon the things that happened that I could control and things that happened that I could not control. Taking responsibility of the times you made mistakes and the times that were bad/time/place etc. can make a difference in the weight you may carry on your back. Make a list, check it twice, start your new year with freedom.

Boundaries

2011-11-30T12:54:00.001-08:00

Boundary work appears to be a "big hit" in therapy this week. With the holidays in tow, old patterns and family dynamics reappear during this time of year. One of them is the absence or lack of boundaries in families. Some families do not practice the use of healthy boundaries. If you have one of those, it can be helpful to spot unhealthy boundaries and stay away from being violated by them. The following describes definitions of the top 3 boundaries. Generally, boundaries define where one person begins and another ends/starts.

Personal boundaries: Personal space and allowance for freedom of that space, usually a step away. Generally, if you feel uncomfortable, there is a person invading your space. An example is a bully who is trying to gain control by intimidating another by crossing into their personal space. This space is usually not welcome.

Physical boundaries: We are all entitled to our own personal items or things that we own and care about. An example of a boundary violation is relatives that visit and help themselves to decorating, taking your dog out, or making dinner. Yes, it happens! By nature we are territorial. It's not a bad thing.

Emotional boundaries: Words expressed have effects on another's feelings. Sometimes we do not understand how our words can harm others. When someone says, "I was hurt by .... that you said." It's always a good rule to reply with something that validates the other person's feelings. For example, "I am sorry that what I said hurt you, it was not my intention." We are all human and unique in how we view the world. Good relationships respect and honor this boundary.

How do we protect ourselves from others who do not practice the use of healthy boundaries? In Cloud and Townsend's work in BOUNDARIES, they suggest, "responding and not reacting." We react with emotions and may say things or do things we regret. We respond with honesty and respect for ourselves, the situation, and others. We cannot control people and their behavior, but we can control ours. Knowing our own limits can shield us during this family time of year.

On Being Alone

2011-11-10T20:25:00.001-08:00

With the holiday spirit coming up, many people's spirits come down. To most people the holidays are about family which is associated to happiness and life fulfillment. Therefore, it causes people to reflect upon who they have and mostly, who they do not have. For some people, this is the time of year where people generally start to feel more down and depressed.

There are many people that not alone feel alone, they are alone. Arizona is a place that invites people in transition. People tend to come and go. It makes it difficult for people to find their niche or group where they feel they belong. Many people move from a broken relationship to rebuild their life again, only to find more intense loneliness and isolation. When people are alone, they tend to think more and internalize. They sometimes sink into further depression and feel more alone.

I wondered this week if it was more of an "Arizona thing" where it is such a big city, making it difficult to meet new friends. Is it depression, or fear of not fitting in. While it is probably a combination of the three, many people fear and believe they are the only person in the state that actually feels this. I put this out today to inform people that you are not alone, many people feel the same way you do. When you are challenged with isolating due to fears, remember there may be someone else out there that can relate to the same way you are thinking and feeling. It only takes one time and one place to make a new friend and lift your spirits. In preparation for the holidays, new friends can inspire new traditions. When the holidays do arrive, your social calendar may surprisingly be filled. The effort to reach out to someone can end loneliness for you and someone else in need too.

Letting Go of Anger

2011-11-08T14:01:00.000-08:00

How many times do we hear from others, "Just let it go." What does it really mean? If "it" is not something tangible, how do we, "just let it go?" For example, emotions can not be picked up and tossed to the floor. The following provides a new healthy habit or the art of letting go.

As I practice yoga, I find a parallel with the practice of letting go or learning how to release thoughts and then emotions into space. This practice or technique is helpful on the yoga mat and on my office couch while with working with clients. One is using the body and one is using our mind. The combination of both helps decrease stress and the negative effects especially associated with anger.

To release is to let go. The technique is very simply and can be used with any emotion. When the body feels pain in the body, it is essential to focus on the area, bring the mind and attention to the area and breathe. Focus on only the breathe for 60 seconds in a relaxed but straight posture. Visualize stretching your spine, shoulders, neck, and head as far as it will go. Imagine a string pulling the top of your head as high as it can go into the sky. Stretch and breathe and stretch and breathe.

The same effort can be used with the mind. When the mind feels an emotion: acknowledge and feel the emotion. Then go to any pain that you feel in your body. Release any thoughts into space. They do not have as much energy as pain or discomfort. Repeat paragraph 3.

The more this is practiced, the more habitually one learns to let things, thoughts, or feelings go. One also finds the powerful ability to release negative places and release them into space. This creates room for growth and space for the flow of creativity, new beginnings, and happiness.

Recreating the Procrastination Script

2011-11-03T10:33:00.000-07:00

Procrastination is a hot topic in the therapy world today. All of us struggle with procrastination, some more frequently and progressively than others. Procrastination is a learned fear response when the brain hears that we can't do something. For instance, the cognitive script includes something like: "I'm not good enough. I can't do this. I'm going to fail. I can't succeed." Many times this script developed long ago in our memory banks. We hear the sound of our parent's voice over and over. At the time our parents were trying to protect us from something: being late, doing a task better, avoiding conflict, etc. The downside it created: anxiety and fear. When we fear, our brain highlights the event and holds it in memory to protect us from experiencing the event again. The human reaction: procrastination, avoidance, anxiety, depression, low energy, low motivation, and the list continues.

It is essential for people who suffer from procrastinating to relearn how to be proactive instead. For example, replacing a new behavior with the procrastinating behavior helps rewire the brain to do something different. Anything you "do" that is positive is adjusting your memory to learn a new behavior.

Steps to recreate the script: Before doing the task at hand, take a deep breathe through my nose, and exhale through my nose, repeat the word, "CALM" 5 times, taking a breathe after each word. Next, take notice of a more relaxed state in the body: heart rate decrease, tension release, zero thoughts. When the mind is calm, it is more rational. Repeat the new script, "I am calm, capable, and can do this task at hand. My mind is powerful and can do anything I set out to do. I can do this task, I am going to start it now."

When in fear, we respond to the fight or flight response. Our brain shuts down and we procrastinate. By calming our nervous system immediately, we combat the fear by rewiring our brains to do instead of stop. Procrastination can be eliminated by learning new behaviors. Keep practicing and you will be amazed at all that you can do! :)

Reacting to Negative Words

2011-10-24T15:08:00.000-07:00

Think about the last time you were beeped at unnecessarily while driving your car. It is very difficult not to react when we are criticized, judged or attacked. A very natural and human reaction is to defend our selves and deflect back criticism, judgement or a similar attack of character. The following are some insights to protect ourselves from reacting when we are in these negative situations.

Projection is the ability to deflect negative unconscious feelings onto another. It takes courage and insight of the self to deal with anger, sadness, or disappointment. Sometimes it is easier to target and blame others instead of confronting the way we feel inside.

Many times we avoid our inner pain and conflict to avoid actually feeling it. Humans protect themselves by protecting what we don't want to see in ourselves onto others. The next time someone gets under your skin, consider thinking about what triggers or feelings you are actually seeing in yourself. To turn it on ourself allows us to understand our own power. For example, when I am angry for at my son for not picking up after himself, I ask myself, "Who am I really angry at?" Am I angry at him or am I angry at myself for not showing him how to clean up after himself?" I can then encourage myself to look at some things I can change to show him the benefit of understanding cleanliness and the positive benefits it can bring. This reaction is productive as opposed to yelling or showing him anger or hostility.

By learning how to shield ourselves from the bows and arrows of words, our own inner issues can come to the surface. If I accept that sometimes I am going to feel anger as a human being, I can then deal with the angry feeling. This avoids projecting the anger onto others and also creates a happier me. :)

Appreciating Our Age

2011-10-17T11:53:00.000-07:00

As my Mom and soul sister reach milestones this year, I'd like to take the opportunity to post some positive "cognitive statements and programs" we can all use. As we are all aware, there is zero that we can do to stop time. Since we age with time, we can improve our self-esteem by learning how to appreciate the aging process. The following are some ideas to consider when your birthday rolls around the corner:

- Consider how many years of survival you now have! Say, "I made it!"

- Reflect on past accomplishments and experiences, something we accumulate as we age.

- The less we have, the less we have to take care of! The power of simplicity!

- With age, we do acquire more wisdom. The wear and tear on our body is a badge of courage!

- As a very wise woman said at the end of her life: "I am so glad my hair finally fell out. I no longer have to worry about styling it!" Life satisfaction is all about perspective.

- Aging is beautiful and dependable, as is nature and the cycle of life. As we appreciate the wonder of a 100 year old oak tree that is shedding it's leaves, we can appreciate our own sturdiness and confidence.

Enjoy each day as it is your last!

Ineffective Communication

2011-06-07T12:32:00.000-07:00

When working on your relationship (with family, co-workers, friends), consider if you use the following examples while communicating:

- Criticism: the expression of judgement based on perceived fault or merit. Being critical does not prompt positive feedback from another person. 9 times out of 10, the other will likely become defensive. Criticism breeds arguments and dysfunction. Staying away from criticism will help any relationship.

- Blame: assigning responsibility for a fault or wrong. Blame and criticism are very similar by definition. Use of blame is a direct statement that tells someone they are wrong. It poses judgement and also breeds arguments and dysfunction. Stay away from the "blame game" and relationships will blossom instead of diminish.

- Manipulation: control or influence (a person or situation) cleverly, unfairly, or without them knowing. An example would be someone trying to persuade a conversation to gain something for his or her own means or agenda.

These communication tactics can occur by default where a person may not even know they are doing this. Families can learn these influences throughout their years of history. Some families use these means as a way of life and reward. Usually, this brings about dysfunction, arguments, and destruction. Eventually people can become estranged and relationships can be severed. Having an awareness about the use of manipulation, blame, and criticism can save relationships significantly. One person with a willingness to change is better than none at all.

Tackling Tantrums With Love

2011-02-07T13:17:00.000-08:00

This article provides advice for parents for tackling tantrums. This simple exercise has been proven and shown to work. The main ingredient: Genuine parental love and support.

Picture the scene: You're are in the grocery store with you child and he/she wants something on the shelf. Whether it is cookies, fruits, or veggies, it is something you decide your child cannot have. As the word, "No", falls out of your mouth, you child throws a fit by kicking and screaming and causing a scene.

Step 1: The most important step: Remain emotionless, do not react. Remember, and think: my child is learning about wants and needs in his/her age of development. It is the stage of independence, "the "I" want it now place. Once you are aware of you calm state, go to step 2.

Step 2: At your child's level, (kneel to their height, lock in one to one eye contact with your child) and state something that communicates understanding and empathy: "I know it is upsetting to want something we can't have. I'm so sorry you are upset because you want the .... (apples, cake, etc.)

Step 3: Before the child escalates, still at their level, seek physical support. Ask them, "Do you need a hug?" Offer open arms. Continue telling your child how you understand their feelings.

To your immediate surprise, you will see a complete change in behavior. At this time tell them why you decided they can't have the item. Be honest and kind. Remember, a child's brain is not like an adult's brain. Depending on age, a child does not understand dollars and cents. They understand, "I want and I want it now." You are not the person taking their wants away, life is. Learning about disappointments is part of growing up and part of life. Teaching life lessons is the job of a parent. Teaching with love and understanding goes a lot farther than any other tools. Eventually you child will get upset during these moments, however, with the love and support, they will be able to calm down quickly and on their own and without causing a scene in public.

Reducing Anxiety Through Mind/Body Awareness

2011-02-04T09:47:00.000-08:00

We can reduce anxiety through the practice of mind/body awareness. Like every achievement that we want to succeed at: the more you practice, the more you will reduce your anxiety.

The following are some helpful steps to decrease anxiety symptoms:

1. Know your symptoms of anxiety. How is your body effected by anxiety? Some examples from people suffering from anxiety include: heart rate increase, sweaty palms, shallow breathing, confusion, nervousness, tightness in shoulders or neck, etc.

2. Now that you are aware of your uniques symptoms of your body, pay attention to when your body is telling you that the anxiety is starting. Bring your thoughts and awareness to your body parts or your systems (breathing, heart rate, etc.).

3. Once your are aware that the symptoms are starting, deep breathe for 5 seconds. Breathe in through your nose, fill your chest with the air, breathe out through your nose. Allow your thoughts to focus on your bodies' signs that it is relaxing.

4. Notice any signs of tightness, numbness or pain. Stretch, massage, or move those areas. For example, if you feel a tightness in your shoulders, roll them back and forth or side to side. The idea is to move the area and relieve it of discomfort.

5. With breathing and movement together, notice your symptoms. Have they decreased?

Congratulations, you are now preventing your anxiety from escalating using mind/body awareness. For individualized work with anxiety, please call Kimberly to see if she is taking new patients.

How To Effectively Listen

2011-01-26T14:27:00.000-08:00

During many relationship counseling sessions, the issue about "listening" comes up. It is evident that we all can listen with our ears, however, are we listening to one another effectively? The following are 5 simple ways to effectively listen to someone.

:) Provide eye contact. Be sure that you are looking at someone's face and looking into his or her eyes as he or she speaks. Eye contact provides information regarding attention. The more one maintains eye contact, the more listening is in progress.

:) Be empathetic. Empathy is having the ability to be able to be in another's shoes. Phrases that show empathy include, "That must have been a great experience for you." "Wow that sounds like..."

:) Restating. Verbalize the facts or statements that you heard. Restating or verbally copying can also clarify uncertainties in communication. For instance, "I heard you say..."

:) Use emotions. Showing sadness, happiness, or other emotions can demonstrate that you are listening because the information is causing a reaction to the participant. Use of emotions shows that you are fully there in the experience and human too.

:) Be honest. If you had a bad day or are tired, tell your partner that this probably is not the best time for you to listen. Let the person know that you are interested and would be a better listener in the morning, or at a better time and place. Honesty goes along way when communicated effectively.

10 Warning Signs of Alcohol Abuse and Help

2010-12-02T15:44:00.000-08:00

As the holidays approach, celebrations and cheer can lead to alcohol abuse. The following 10 Warning Signs are from Mayo Clinic.

10 Warning Signs of Alcohol Abuse

1. You drink specifically to become intoxicated.

2. You prefer to drink when you’re alone or keep your alcohol consumption a secret.

3. You drink alcohol as a way to deal with or escape from your problems.

4. You stash alcohol in unlikely places.

5. You become irritable if alcohol is unavailable when you want a drink.

6. You have a ritual of drinking at certain times of the day and become upset if this ritual is disturbed.

7. You have lost interest in the hobbies and activities you used to enjoy.

8. Problems have arisen at work, school, home, or with the legal system because of your drinking.

9. You frequently experience memory loss or blackouts as a result of heavy drinking.

10. You become annoyed when friends, family members or loved ones say you have a drinking problem.

If two or more of these statements sound like you, the bad news is that you likely do have an alcohol abuse problem. However, this doesn’t necessarily indicate an alcohol addiction. According to the NIAA, alcoholics will also experience these four symptoms:

4 Warning Signs of Alcoholism
1. An increasing tolerance to alcohol.

2. The inability to stop drinking once you start.

3. Strong urges or cravings to drink.

4. Experiencing withdrawal symptoms such as anxiety, nausea, shakiness, and cold sweats when you don’t have a drink.

Help For Your Drinking Problems
Alcoholism is a deadly and devastating disease. It affects sufferers mentally, physically, emotionally, and perhaps even spiritually. If you attempt to stop or control your drinking and find that you can’t do it alone, it’s time to get help. Enlist the aid of a loved one, or seek professional guidance.

Here are the phone numbers of three alcoholism support groups that can help put you on the path to full recovery:

Alcoholics Anonymous
alcoholics-anonymous.org
(212) 870-3400

National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism
niaaa.nih.gov
(301) 443-3860

National Council on Alcoholism and Drug Dependencies
ncadd.org
(212) 269-7797

5 Signs of a Healthy Relationship

2010-09-08T13:49:00.000-07:00

Many times people in counseling ask me, "How do I know what is a healthy or unhealthy relationship?" Whether the relationship is romantic, professional, or a friendship, there are 5 signs that are usually present in a healthy relationship.

-Respect..R.E.S.P.E.C.T..What does it mean to me? To respect in a relationship, one must genuinely respect the self. First observe how you take care of yourself. Examples of solid respect of the self includes: taking care of daily needs(eating, sleeping, etc.), saying no to self-destruction and yes to self-care.

-Honesty Can you communicate your opinion in the relationship? In other words, can you be yourself and speak your mind?

-Communication Is criticism, blaming, or shaming used in the interactions between the two parties? Any use of criticism, blaming, or shaming leads to a toxic or unhealthy place.

-Use of the "gut" Ask yourself, How does this relationship feel to me? When the other is in my presence, do I feel, safe, comfortable, at ease? Feeling at an internal "gut" level can intuitively tell us if we are in a healthy place or not.

-Similar values Gather your similarities and list them. Do you share the same values that are important to you? Religion, political, family, and financial values are four big issues that can make or break a relationship. Being on top of these similarities can shed light on some of the obstacles that exist early on.

Putting Unsupportive Thoughts Away

2010-08-19T12:26:00.000-07:00

When suffering from depression, the mind can be cluttered with unnecessary junk. The following exercise can help us to get rid of the junk by putting the unsupportive thoughts away.

Filling the Empty Box:

Visualize an empty light orange shoe box. The box has a warm bright glow around it, symbolic of strength and power. This box can be used at anytime.

Define and be aware of your unsupportive thoughts when they arise. They include any internal thought processes and statements that do not support the individual. Some examples of unsupportive thoughts include:

-I coulda, shoulda, woulda.....

-Thoughts that judge, criticize or slander.

-Believing others' opinions before yourself.

Once these thoughts are heard, observe the words. Allow the words or statements to flow through the air and into the box. After each thought enters the box, concentrate on the colorful glow surrounding the box. Creatively imagine the box receiving energy from the box. Does the energy change the color of the box? Does the box grow bigger? Or change shape? The more creative the scene, the farther away the thoughts go, and the more productive you become!

Good Luck!

Preventing Depression Relapse

2010-07-29T12:25:00.000-07:00

Dealing with depression is a life long process. Identifying the triggers that can accompany the relapse of depression can help us along the road of life. The National Mental Health Information Center at the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services lists numerous triggers. The following are 5 common triggers along with helpful recovery tips:

-Interpersonal friction: One-on-one counseling with a professional on a consistent basis will help us learn how to avoid those interpersonal pitfalls.

-Feeling overwhelmed or having too much to do: Know your limits and boundaries regarding what you are humanly capable of doing to avoid overwhelming anxiety and depression.

-Being judged or criticized: We are all in control of surrounding ourselves with people who provide positive feedback. Be aware of other people's toxicity by their use of judgement and criticism.

-Ending a relationship: If ending a relationship, expect that it is normal to spend some time grieving. Be aware of isolation and reach out to friends, family, or counselors.

-Physical Illness: Our physical health effects our mental health. Learn how to consistently take care of your body, your vessel, through good nutrition, exercise, and spirituality. Make it a daily practice and routine.

How to Survive Through Tough Times

2010-07-15T14:16:00.000-07:00

Tis the season to be trying to "beat the heat" in Phoenix and weathering our tough economy. Individually and in relationships, the summer months do not help the financial burdens families are facing in this economy. Here are some quick tips to help "stay cool":

- Stick to a budget. Families that have a monthly financial budget have less stress. A plan allows room for entertainment. If you don't know what you are bringing in and spending, the odds are you will go over eventually. A concrete monitor of finances is a healthy household.

- Get away. Travel does not have to be expensive. Taking a one hour drive north away from the same environment for a day can reap the same benefits as a good night's rest. A positive new atmosphere changes negative thought patterns.

- Change your exercise routine. Now that it is to hot to exercise outside, one needs to be more creative about exercising indoors.

- Try to be aware of your negative thoughts. Thinking about the heat and it's negativity does not create positive results.

- Keep up with your spirituality. The practice of one's spirituality is just as helpful to the human being as a healthy diet.

Remember: Whatever is going on in the outside world cannot effect the power of a healthy and happy person/family.

Learning From Pain

2010-04-08T19:23:00.000-07:00

Today I was reminded of how dealing with pain can either make or break our performance.

While on my run today I tripped on a peg and took a nose dive into the gravel. I caught my balance and landed on my knees and broke the fall with my left hand. In the first five seconds I was stunned and sat there on the ground. I felt piercing throbs in my knees and hand mostly, it was sharp, it was intense. I was concerned that I had done something serious and would need help. Because I was alone on the path with no phone, I initially was nervous. What if I needed a hospital? What if I couldn't walk? I became fearful. Resources? I looked down at my now beat up looking water bottle and began to wash off my hand with the remaining water. My pants were torn around my knees and I was immediately thankful that I chose to wear them. I carefully pulled up the pants to reveal my skinned knees. They were scraped and very red, but not bleeding. I sat on the trail for a few minutes and realized the pain had subsided. I realized I didn't need medical attention and I survived the fall. I stood up, brushed myself off, and continued my run. I was fortunate that I didn't hurt myself more severely and congratulated myself for running with added discomfort.

When I went back to my office I thought about how we are in control of allowing pain to take over our lives. Dealing with pain and feeling it without fear lessens the intensity. If I had listened to my fear response to the pain, I would not have continued my run. Once I turned away from the fear and looked toward my resources, I was able to continue the activity that was in my heart. Sometimes depression, pain, or loss can be so fearful that we leave behind the things, people, or activities that are in our hearts. This usually leads people into further depression and unhappiness. The next time you experience a type of pain, try to feel it, experience it, assess it's discomfort level. Moderate pain without fear is really temporary. It subsides very quickly if we just experience it.

Lost In Love

2010-02-11T14:43:00.000-08:00

Valentine's Day was this past weekend. How many of us are lost in the love of our true selves? The following are some good old fashioned recipes for the soul:

1. Soak in something physically. Treat your body to a massage, a bath, yoga class, 5K run, or whatever activity works for you.

2. Don't forget about your mind. Treat your mind to a good hour of reading your favorite book, a crossword puzzle or an hour of meditation. The goal is to lose yourself in the event and give your mind a break.

3. Wake up when you are ready. Turn the alarm clock off and wake up when your body tells you it is fully rested and ready to start the day.

4. If flowers is what you want, stop waiting or depending on someone else to bring them to you. Bring them to yourself!

5. Focus Pocus! The more we focus on who we do have in our life, the less we focus on who we do not have in our life. Like magic, feelings of satisfaction are available if we allow our brain to focus on it.

The practice to, "love the self" as a mind/body routine can be practiced everyday as a way of life and not just on Valentine's Day. Give it a try.

Tips For the Holiday Blues

2009-12-02T10:52:00.000-08:00

For some of us the holiday season is not so "Holly and Jolly." The holidays focus on family and fun, however, that time can also trigger memories and the loss of family that is not near. Here are some quick tips to get through these emotionally challenging times:

1. Recognize those thoughts that cause sadness. Remembering Aunt Berta's old fashioned apple pie is a positive memory. Remembering Aunt Berta when she was very ill may not be such a positive memory. Our thoughts can trigger deeper emotional sadness that can lead to a deeper depression. Being aware of our thoughts protect us from depression.

2. Stay away from geographic places that trigger memories. The holidays are not the time to travel down memory lane. Visit places that make you happy, especially during the season.

3. Do return to happy childhood memories. Recreate them and bring them to the present. I recently watched, "Santa Claus is Coming to Town" with my 3 year old son. It was the first time he saw it and probably the 35th time for me. I think I enjoyed watching his expression of the Heat Miser just as much as when I first saw him as a child. It was wonderful to experience my childhood memory while creating a new one.

4. Ask for help when you need it. Know when you are down, isolating, or overwhelmed. Be aware of your symptoms and when they become overwhelming, ask for help. Sometimes telling one person can make a world of a difference.

5. Give. Giving advice, time, and appreciation boosts spirits. Try giving someone a shoulder to cry on, 10 quality, no cell phone minutes, or a sincere, "thank you" this year. It truly is the simple things that matter the most.

ENJOY! HAPPY HOLIDAYS!!!

Yoga and Life

2009-06-10T13:25:00.000-07:00

I have recently had the opportunity to start practicing Bikram yoga. It is an experience that allows me to reflect upon how I deal with certain situations. I have found this practice to be extremely helpful during times of stress. I would like to share how yoga has given me a new perspective when dealing with a challenge.

As I walked into the room with my mat and liter of water, I glanced over and saw the thermostat that was set at 180 degrees. I thought to myself, "Is it really that hot?" As the class begins, feeling the beads of sweat and perspiration, I then answer to myself, "Yes, it is that hot, and humid." The heat allows me to feel increasingly warmed up as the class goes on. It also allows an "edge" sort of feeling due to the heat and the extra ability to push harder into a pose. The class is meditative. The brain needs to listen to the instructions only. The instructor repeats, "The more you think about the pose, the harder it will be." As my day reflects, I acknowledge where my thoughts reappear, where they linger, where they want to stay. I notice things I want to hold on to and thoughts that ruminate. I then regain focus and balance with my body as I am trying to balance my foot to my knee while holding my hands in prayer. Thinking does not help, focus does.

One of my favorite moments in the class is a pose where we kneel on the floor, arms are overhead straight into the air. We dive down, curl our spine under, and drop down until our foreheads touch the floor. The instructor suggests that we visualize all internal negative energy, all resentments, anger, hostility, regrets, grief, etc. swiftly moving through the spine and out the head, into the earth and out through the body. It is a circular energy that allows us freedom, relaxation, and the practice of letting go.

The class allows you to look at yourself in the mirror and the instructor reminds us that there is no judging allowed in the room. It is not about having the perfect pose, it is about the feeling of balance, power, and strength that is the practice. This allows me to observe how much judgement I can impose upon myself. I can see that my balance is not as strong when I negatively see myself. When I am able to see my calm and beautiful self looking back at me, I can remain held in that pose forever. With the challenge of the heat, the hunger, and the fatigue, it is here that I can walk out of the room and feel the benefit of being there. I can appreciate the wonderful practice and perceive my world again through Kim's true eyes.

This is for a very good friend, thank you for leading me into this direction.

An Exercise to Keep Our Balance in Check

2008-12-09T15:00:00.000-08:00

An Exercise to Keep Our Balance in Check:

Just like a check book, we have a total amount of money. With that total amount, each day we deposit or withdraw. If we withdraw more than we deposit, we are negative or "out of balance."

Applying this to our daily routine:

Start your day with a sum of 100.

Keep an ongoing list of your thoughts that tend to "drain" your energy and thoughts that tend to "replenish" your energy. Examples of negative thoughts are: thoughts from the past, thoughts we cannot change, thoughts that start with, "Could, Should, or Would." Positive thoughts relate to today with the hear and now. Try to keep the list at hand to assess the best accuracy.

It is interesting to find how much we are left with at the end of the day. How much power is this taking from us? Are we left with 100 to end the day with? Are we in debt for tomorrow? How much of the past is holding us back from keeping today more in balance?

Being conscious of this balance is a very powerful tool. We need a balance of positive energy to be physically, mentally and spiritually healthy. It allows us to focus on what is right up front, the present.

How Do I Keep Swimming? 3 Simple Ideas

2008-10-07T13:34:00.000-07:00

While "times are tough" these days, how do we keep swimming? Because there is negativity and things happening that are out of our control does not mean that we are not in control.

Always pair a negative circumstance with a positive. For example, while we are all cutting back on costs, we are also learning how to use what we have again. The dollar amount that we have today will save us from further debt in the future.

Be aware of what increases you anxiety. If it is watching the news that makes your blood pressure pump, take some time off or read. Reading can allow you to stop and control the information coming in. Watching television does not provide this for us. The media wants to give us as many stressful stories as possible within 30 minutes or less.

Do not stop activities that were important to your family. If everyone enjoyed going out to dinner once a week, adjust the budget and try somewhere less expensive. Saving and continuing to use the economy are valuable actions. Instead of taking away something that was beneficial, your family is now taking considerable control and not being controlled! :)

The Bright Side of Life

2008-08-15T14:23:00.000-07:00

This week in therapy was amazing. There was a positive buzz throughout the office. Overall, clients had a lot of good news to share. As a therapist, these are the times where I feel a sense of accomplishment at being able to be a part of the vibe.

Like the "Laws of Attaction and Powers of Intentions", when clients start to believe in his or herself and abilities, life starts to unravel, doors start to open, and energy picks up pace.

I enjoy working with clients to start this process and then watch it begin working. It usually starts with a belief. The words usually sound like, "I can do this, I deserve this, I am capable of this." The mind is positive and is deserving and capable. Secondly, a goal or action is set. Without hesitation, the action occurs, the task or goal is complete. Then, the sense of accomplishment happens. Energy and excitement are breed and that is just the beginning. The momentum has started and when that occurs, resistance is like going against the tide. It is easier to "just keep swimming."

Once someone is on this path for him or herself, it is rare that they return back. With anxiety, depression, addictions, or other issues, confident energy, when attained, is a valuable source.