Triple Braided

Not Another Dating Book: A Devotional Guide to All of Your Relationships {A Book Review}

noreply@blogger.com (Brenda @TripleBraided) — Mon, 27 Feb 2012 13:14:00 +0000

First of all, I really, really like this book.

Most of the books I have read about singleness and dating are how-to books based on the most ideal situation where parents lead their children in dating and courtship, young men ask fathers permission to court their daughters, and young women are supported in community throughout the process.

The only problem is that this was never my story, and so these books left me feeling like a misfit where all hope was lost.

This is not so for Renee Johnson Fisher's new book Not Another Dating Book: A Devotional Guide to All of Your Relationships.

The Word of God seems to be silent when it comes to the do’s and do not’s of dating, and it certainly does not offer us a step-by-step guide of finding the perfect man. However, our better judgment reminds us that the Word of God is never silent.

In Not Another Dating Book, Renee lifts the silence we often feel like we hear from God. She connects God’s Word to the practicality of life as a single adult. However, instead of doing so with another list of firm “rules”, she presents singleness in light of God’s Word allowing the Holy Spirit to guide the intricacies of the every day all the while pointing the reader’s attention back to cultivating the one relationship that matters above all others: a relationship with Jesus.

Not Another Dating Book is a breath of fresh air for a single woman. The focus is taking off of the singleness as a season to be fixed and put on a season to be surrendered – even the everyday, real-life details – using a scripture reference for each one and without “one way or no way” language except as is clearly shown in God’s Word.

Here are a few of my favorite devotions from this book:

Define Your Relationship with Christ (p. 37) :: cultivating the most important relationship

What are You Wearing? (p. 41) :: for when you feel like something’s wrong with you

The Spirit’s Nudging (p. 51) :: if only I had read this six years ago!

Unequally Yoked (p. 69) :: scripture references on why this is so dangerous

A God Sized Adventure (p. 87) :: “A flesh and blood prince isn’t coming to rescue you from a tower, but the God of the Universe is coming to take your hand and your heart.” – beautiful!

If you are looking for a book that isn’t a how-to book for dating but instead shines light on God’s instructions for practical issues as a single adult, then I encourage you to read Renee Johnson’s Not Another Dating Book: A Devotional Guide to All of Your Relationships!

Read more about Renee Johnson Fisher and her ministry at her blog Devotional Diva.

**All of the opinions and ideas in this book review are strictly my own. I was not compensated in any way for this review. The links included are affiliate links.**

The Discipline of Stopping . . . and Waiting

noreply@blogger.com (Brenda @TripleBraided) — Tue, 21 Feb 2012 23:13:00 +0000

Sometimes God tells us to stop . . . and wait. To put the brakes on all of our own ideas and dreams and wants and asks us to just sit quietly, listen to His voice, and stay there until He says stand again.

And our discipline muscle is stretched. We really don't want to sit and wait because if we don't move how will anything move, progress, gain momentum, or go forward?

Therein lies the problem. The reason for the stop and the wait. No longer are His purposes being fulfilled through us, but instead we are trying to fulfill our purposes and asking Him to just agree.

So gently He nudges us to stop and wait. We can either ignore Him or discipline ourselves to obey.

That is where I am right now. God is asking me to take a break from blogging for about a month to {Re}Focus. For me it is a blessing that He would lead me so specifically and stop me before I go too far off on my own. After all, my One Word for 2012 is Focus! It's important to discipline myself to keep my One Word relevant throughout the year.

I will have a few guest bloggers post throughout the month, and I am very grateful for them and excited to see how God leads their writing! If you are interested in guest posting, please contact me at triplebraidedlife{at}gmail{dot}com.

I also have a book review that you do not want to miss coming very soon!

Thank you for sharing this space with me and for being a reader of Triple Braided. If it comes to your mind, I would love your prayers for where God is leading me in blogging, writing, and ministry.

And I will see you again in one month! Thank you, sweet friends!

Pursuit of Proverbs 31 {A Book Review}

noreply@blogger.com (Brenda @TripleBraided) — Mon, 20 Feb 2012 09:00:00 +0000

My mom was an amazing homemaker. She baked from scratch – I mean never using a box. She made some of our clothes and all the drapes in our house along with handmade soap, candles, and greeting cards. There were no junk drawers or piles or times when we just needed to “pick up”. Everything seemed to always be picked up. And she was late to bed and early to rise.

And me? I seem to have gotten very little of those talents and to be honest, not much interest in them either. When I read Proverbs 31 I immediately think of my mom who seemed to have done it all, and then I think of myself and feel defeated – and pretty exhausted.

But living a life like the Proverbs 31 woman’s is not living a life of doing but living a life of being, and this is what Amy Bayliss beautifully highlights in her new book and Bible study Pursuit of Proverbs 31. Pursuit of Proverbs 31 focuses on this woman being a description of the Bride of Christ, and out of love for God she is given the ability to love her husband, care for her children, pursue ministry, and provide economically.

So why should unmarried women read Pursuit of Proverbs 31 and pursue a life of a woman who had a husband and children? Does this book apply to unmarried women?

Absolutely! Did you know that Proverbs 31 was written from the thoughts of King Lemuel’s mother as she described the wife she wanted for her son? This was her wish list for her son’s future wife – not an actual wife at the time. This is your perfect opportunity to read, study, and mediate on these verses so that God will prepare you for the marriage and family he has for you one day.

Pursuit of Proverbs 31 is a great way to start your study. Amy’s book is divided into ten easily read chapters that you can expand upon as desired. Each chapter ends with Focused Thoughts, Scripture for Memory, and Essential, Useful, and Bonus exercises to help you study deeper if you wish. The study can be done individually or in a small group.

What I loved most about this book is the focus on our relationship with God and from that all else flows – our marriages, children, homemaking, ministries. The relationship with our Heavenly Father allows us to be the Proverbs 31 woman.

Click the book cover below to find out more about Pursuit of Proverbs 31, the author Amy Bayliss, and to order a copy for only $4.99!

Disclosure: Some of the links in this post are affiliate links.

Become an Organ, Eye, or Tissue Donor!

noreply@blogger.com (Brenda @TripleBraided) — Tue, 14 Feb 2012 20:43:00 +0000

Today is National Donor Day along with Valentine's Day, and I couldn't let it go by without asking you to please BECOME A DONOR!

My husband had a heart transplant almost two years ago. It was a miracle in the making, but he almost didn't receive an organ match in time. Please consider registering and discuss your choice with your family. They need to know your desires as well.

And THANK YOU to all of the donors, and THANK YOU to all of the families who have loved ones who are or were organ donors. We appreciate your gift more than words can express!

If you have any questions or concerns, please let me know! I will be more than happy to talk to you about our experience or point you to the information you need. There is a lot of misinformation about organ donation, so please do the research yourself.

Fall in Love with Jesus on Valentine’s Day :: Day 10

noreply@blogger.com (Brenda @TripleBraided) — Tue, 14 Feb 2012 10:51:00 +0000

You know the feeling. It starts off with a first glance, then a smile, then a word. Soon his every move leads you into a fantasy world of romance and dates and, yes, a wedding. Your mind won’t let you concentrate on anything else. You talk about him nonstop to the point where your friends begin to give you ultimatums. Every day when your phone beeps with news of a text, you jump, wondering if it’s him. Every time it rings you go through this whole scenario of whether you should answer it or make him work a little harder. You aren’t supposed to be too available, right?

He finally asks you out on a date, and the intensity of your focus becomes even more deliberate. What does he think about me? Did I say the wrong thing? Maybe I should act this way next time. Am I being too eager? You want him to like you, and you really want him to fall in love with you.

It moves on from there through courtship and engagement. You are inseparable and your total concern is for him and not yourself. You want to see him smile and laugh and experience peace in your presence. You begin to prove what a wonderful wife you’re going to be, and the honeymoon phase sets in. Nothing can separate your love.

Then there is when the true love flourishes and becomes what it was created to be. The love that says you will be patient with this person when they drive you absolutely out of your mind. Or you’ll take care of this person when they are laying in the bed chronically ill. Or you will lay down everything you wanted for your life because there is a higher call now, and you must answer it.

What if we fell in love with Jesus in the same way we do with with boys we date and the men we marry?

We tend to think that a relationship with Jesus is mystical or imaginary because we cannot see Him physically in the flesh. However, Falling in Love with Jesus is the same as falling in love with anyone else in your life. The only difference is that He already loves you passionately, uncontrollably, and madly. You don’t have to try to win him over like we do in the romantic relationships in our lives. He is already won, and He is just waiting to win you too.

“Jesus replied: 'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’” Matthew 22:37

I am madly in love with Jesus. How do I know? Because I have the same feelings for him that I have for John.

I look forward to reading my Bible and crave that time I get to learn more about Him. I find myself talking to Him regularly, at times even constantly, throughout the day as I am completely my daily tasks. Thoughts come into my mind or are heard from a friend that are completely out of my nature and character, and I know it is Him. When I get into my car my heart is full of love when I hear music exclaiming His praises. My soul mourns for sin so deeply that at times I just bust into tears and beg Him to come back to get us.

Today let’s begin Falling in Love with Jesus in the same way we fall in love with other people in our lives. He died on the Cross so that we could know Him and spend eternity with Him.

The Cross is His love letter to us. Today begin writing your love letter to Him.

May I pray for you?

Dear Jesus, we love you. We love you, Lord, not because you fill our lives with blessings, but because of who you are. Today is known as the "Love Day" in our culture, but we know that we don't need a special day to remember your love for us or to fall more in love with you. Your love is available every day. Lord, I pray for each woman who reads these words today. I ask you to protect her from the lies that the enemy may try to use today to draw her away from your love. Remind her, Lord, that her worth, security, and beauty, is firm in you and you alone regardless of her circumstances. Help her to feel your love today. In Jesus' name I pray. Amen.

And now for the big announcement! The winner of Holley Gerth's God's Heart for You is . . .

Mandy!!

Thank you to all of you who participated, and I highly recommend purchasing Holley's book for yourself or for someone else. It is filled with truth and truly something every woman should read!

Happy Valentine's Day, sweet friends!! Praying for you today!!

Fall in Love with Peace :: Day 9

noreply@blogger.com (Brenda @TripleBraided) — Mon, 13 Feb 2012 11:09:00 +0000

“You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in you.” Isaiah 26:3

Most of you probably don’t know my story – fully. Each day is recorded in John’s Miracles along with the raw reality of the moments. I wasn’t looking back when I wrote those words. I was living them.

I have lived a Christian life for a long time – about 21 years if you want to start at my baptism, but the Holy Spirit was present within me before then. The Christian life came pretty easy for me because I am a good girl. I like boundaries. They are easy for me to understand, and they are easy for me to follow. There is very little drama in my life, and I do not have an earth-shattering salvation story.

However, even with the security of boundaries to make me feel safe, I rarely felt peace – the kind of peace that Paul describes that is beyond any comprehension. Of course I had peaceful moments, but there was always something unsettling deep inside. Never deep satisfaction.

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:6-7

That is until my husband was dying.

And the peace came.

It was odd to me that after years of living a life unsettled about the future – whether I would get married, who I would marry, if my desires of being a wife and mother would be fulfilled – now, when the future I had desperately prayed for might be taken from me, I felt peace.

It was beyond comprehension. It was beyond understanding. It was supernatural.

But I finally knew that peace was real.

How were those bleak days different when I was afraid to hope because hope might just disappoint me, but at the same time I was afraid not to hope because then I would be alone?

1. My mind was saturated with God. His love. His promises. His blessings. His will.

2. I trusted God with my future knowing he was already there, in it, planning it, and that He loved me and knew what was best for me.

3. I talked to Him continually just as I breathed. I heard Him talk back. His presence was in an arm's reach at all times.

And God kept me in perfect peace, and that peace guarded my heart and mind from all the realities that could be. Peace was not a feeling. So I still cried. It was a state of being consumed with God and in God.

Today, we Fall in Love with Peace. God’s supernatural, can’t believe it’s real, it has to be God, peace. A peace that you cannot give yourself and that your circumstances can’t give you. I am here to tell you that it’s real, and it’s for you. So reach out your minds and bring them under God’s care. Allow Him to embrace you in peace.

This is the ninth day of a ten day series "Falling in Love". Read the previous posts by clicking below, and don't forget to enter the giveaway that ends on Tuesday, February 14th! On Valentine's Day I will announce the winner! As a way to bless you, my readers, on the Fall in Love journey!

Fall in Love with Your Life {and Plan a Party} :: Day 1
In this post I tell you how I threw a Valentine's Day party for myself and all of my single girlfriends, and I show you how you can plan your own! (Plus there's a link-up!)

Fall in Love with Your Family :: Day 2

Fall in Love with Your Friends :: Day 3

Fall in Love with Those in Need :: Day 4

Fall in Love with Creation :: Day 5

Fall in Love with Your Purpose {And enter a GIVEAWAY from Holley Gerth!!} :: Day 6
Enter to win God's Heart for You by Holley Gerth!! I have just started reading it, and am already in awe of how God is speaking to me through it!

Fall in Love with Your Blessings :: Day 7

Fall in Love with Hope :: Day 8

Fall in Love with Hope :: Day 8

noreply@blogger.com (Brenda @TripleBraided) — Sun, 12 Feb 2012 09:00:00 +0000

“For I know the plans I have for you,” says the LORD. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.” Jeremiah 29:11

How do these words leave you feeling?

Do you feel like you’ve read them hundreds of times, and you want so desperately to believe them, but with each year that passes the words themselves become a hope – a hope that you will one day believe them.

The Lord knows His plans because He is already there. There in your future, preparing and planning. This is your hope. Hope that He has not forgotten.

Moses responded, “Then show me your glorious presence.” The LORD replied, “I will make all my goodness pass before you, and I will call out my name, Yahweh, before you. For I will show mercy to anyone I choose, and I will show compassion to anyone I choose. But you may not look directly at my face, for no one may see me and live.” The LORD continued, “Look, stand near me on this rock. As my glorious presence passes by, I will hide you in the crevice of the rock and cover you with my hand until I have passed by. Then I will remove my hand and let you see me from behind. But my face will not be seen.” Exodus 33:19-23

God is in front of you. You are behind. Your hope is found in keeping your eyes on Him – the One who is leading. The One who is already there.

Today, we Fall in Love with Hope. Hope that is only in the Lord. Hope that comes with anticipation of what He is preparing and that we experience from keeping our eyes on Him who is before us.

This is the eighth day of a ten day series "Falling in Love". Read the previous posts by clicking below, and don't forget to enter the giveaway that ends on Tuesday, February 14th! On Valentine's Day I will announce the winner! As a way to bless you, my readers, on the Fall in Love journey!

Fall in Love with Your Life {and Plan a Party} :: Day 1
In this post I tell you how I threw a Valentine's Day party for myself and all of my single girlfriends, and I show you how you can plan your own! (Plus there's a link-up!)

Fall in Love with Your Family :: Day 2

Fall in Love with Your Friends :: Day 3

Fall in Love with Those in Need :: Day 4

Fall in Love with Creation :: Day 5

Fall in Love with Your Purpose {And enter a GIVEAWAY from Holley Gerth!!} :: Day 6
Enter to win God's Heart for You by Holley Gerth!! I have just started reading it, and am already in awe of how God is speaking to me through it!

Fall in Love with Your Blessings :: Day 7

Fall in Love with Your Blessings :: Day 7

noreply@blogger.com (Brenda @TripleBraided) — Sat, 11 Feb 2012 09:00:00 +0000

Just about a month ago I had a temper tantrum in the middle of the Chick-fil-A parking lot. Yes, a full on, blown out, temper tantrum – with tears. How embarrassed am I? And it was over oatmeal of all things.

We got there at 10:25, and the line was almost out the door. But we were in the door before 10:30, right? And surely they make a few extras so that the breakfast cut-off time isn’t right at 10:30. Besides, I didn’t even want a biscuit. I just wanted oatmeal.

We were on our way home from a weekend in the mountains. John wasn’t thrilled about stopping anyway, so when he saw the line was long he was being super patient and very sweet already. So we stood in the line for five minutes waiting. When I got up to the counter I placed my order of oatmeal – with granola and brown sugar – or whatever it comes with. The young girl not-so politely – well, that’s not true, she was probably polite – said, “Breakfast has ended.”

It was 10:31. I said, “You don’t have any breakfast food left?” She replied, “No, breakfast has ended.” “You mean you can’t make any oatmeal?” I replied back with a little bit of attitude. “No” , she said, “there is not any more. Would you like something else?”

"No, all I wanted was oatmeal." I stormed out the door making it clear I was unhappy, marched into parking lot, and started crying – before I called the manager back on my cell phone.

John just looked at me.

Isn’t that typical, though, of how we act sometimes when we forget our blessings and instead demand our way? Hopefully none of you act like a two-year old like I apparently do, but even in our minds we often pout to God when we don't get our way.

Today we are Falling in Love with Our Blessings, and how vast they are!

No matter how low or sad or desperate your circumstances, you are still very blessed.

Have you considered any of these blessing today?

the heart that is pumping in your chest right now
the legs that carry you from one place to another
that small toe that gives you balance
the eyes that allow you so see God’s creation
living in the United States
the food you ate today and the clean water you drank
the last breath you just took
the Cross that gives you a home - forever

Yes, some of these seem almost silly to think about because we take them for granted so often, but today let’s think about them, and let’s Fall in Love with Our Blessings!

This is the seventh day of a ten day series "Falling in Love". Read the previous posts by clicking below, and don't forget to enter the giveaway that ends on Tuesday, February 14th! On Valentine's Day I will announce the winner! As a way to bless you, my readers, on the Fall in Love journey!

Fall in Love with Your Life {and Plan a Party} :: Day 1
In this post I tell you how I threw a Valentine's Day party for myself and all of my single girlfriends, and I show you how you can plan your own! (Plus there's a link-up!)

Fall in Love with Your Family :: Day 2

Fall in Love with Your Friends :: Day 3

Fall in Love with Those in Need :: Day 4

Fall in Love with Creation :: Day 5

Fall in Love with Your Purpose {And enter a GIVEAWAY from Holley Gerth!!} :: Day 6
Enter to win God's Heart for You by Holley Gerth!! I have just started reading it, and am already in awe of how God is speaking to me through it!

Fall in Love with Your Purpose :: Day 6 {And a Giveaway from Holley Gerth}

noreply@blogger.com (Brenda @TripleBraided) — Fri, 10 Feb 2012 12:00:00 +0000

The Winner of the scripture art by Amylee Weeks at Hidden in My Heart is . . .

Amy T. !!! Yay!!

Amy I just emailed you on how you can choose your new art! And thank-you everyone for entering and participating!
Today there is another AWESOME giveaway starting! You don't want to miss it, so read and scroll down!

My struggle with purpose started when I was a single woman. If you asked me what I wanted to “be when I grew up” I told you a wife and a mother. Period. The end. No more questions asked. The answer was the same at ten, fifteen, twenty, twenty-five, and now thirty-five.

There is no doubt that God put these desires in me. They never went away even when I asked for him to change them. But it’s hard to be a wife and mother without a husband and children, and that I had no control over. I felt like a displaced wanderer not really knowing who I was or what I was supposed to be doing. My reality kept me in a box from being who I was created to be.

I even chose my degrees based on wanting to be a wife and mother. I became a teacher with the logic that teachers are home at 3:30 and have summers off. Little did I know that teachers are rarely home before 5:00 and then bring work home. It’s the same type job as any other. Plus little prayer went into my choice of profession, and I didn’t consider things like my personality type or spiritual gifts or what God wanted me to do. So for thirteen years now I’ve been in a job that I suspect God would not have originally chosen for me had I asked him.

Countless days these words would mutter inside my head, “What is my purpose? Why am I here? What am I supposed to be doing? I have a job that is not me, I am alone, and I have no one to love and take care of. God, what is my purpose?”

I know I’m not alone in this because I get emails from all of you, single friends, and you say the same thing. Your heart yearns to be a homemaker, and being single makes you feel stifled and pushed down, unable to fulfill the desires in your heart.

This past year my struggle with purpose came to an all time rock bottom. Even though I am married, I still do not know what I’m supposed to be doing. I know teaching isn’t it. And we do not have children. So there are still hollow places in my heart.

But God began to teach me about purpose through these ten words that hang on our refrigerator. They’ve hung there for a while, but only recently have I grasped them. I wrote them on this index card after hearing a pastor say them in a sermon one time. It’s funny how God uses his wisdom when we're ready for it.

Notice the two words “to be”. My purpose is “to be” not “to do”. I worry and ponder what I am supposed to be “doing” in my life – serving a husband, changing diapers, teaching – when instead God wants me to just “be” in whatever life circumstance I am in so that my life can point others to Him. As Christians isn’t that ultimately our only purpose anyway? To bring people to Christ? Whether it’s our family, friends, coworkers, or strangers on the street?

I want an easy answer. I want everything I want to be here and now. But I’m afraid that even then I may miss my true purpose unless I realize what it is now.

Sweet single friends, your purpose is “to be” in order to bridge a way Jesus. Meditate on that today, and Fall in Love with Your Purpose.

Today begins another, NEW GIVEAWAY, and I am so excited about it!

This giveaway is for Holley Gerth's book God's Heart for You!

I just bought Holley's book this past week and have started reading it, and girl, can I tell you how God used this giveaway to put this book in MY hands! Oh how I needed this wisdom!

So how do you enter?

It's simple!

Enter to win using Rafflecoptor!

There is only ONE mandatory entry:
Leave a comment below telling us your thoughts on your purpose in life.

The other entries are "extras" and will help you win!

a Rafflecopter giveaway

The giveaway for Holley's book will end on next Tuesday, Valentine's Day, at midnight. I will announce the winner on Valentine's Day for a special Valentine surprise!

Fall in Love with Creation :: Day 5

noreply@blogger.com (Brenda @TripleBraided) — Thu, 09 Feb 2012 09:00:00 +0000

For since the creation of the world God's invisible qualities--his eternal power and divine nature--have been clearly seen, being understood from what has been made, so that men are without excuse. Romans 1:20

Once upon a time I had the opportunity to visit Hawaii. By no means am I a world traveller, but I have travelled some, and for that I am grateful. Of the places I have been, Hawaii is the most breathtaking . . . and indescribable.

Looking out over cliffs onto crashing waves, seeing lush forests and trees in shades of green that couldn’t possibly exist in this fallen world, walking on hot, molten lava while watching its awakened brother slither slowly next to my feet.

There are no words to do the pictures in my mind justice, and every time I think about those eight lily-like pads in the middle of that great big pond I wonder . . .

How can any eye peer onto this masterpiece for even a second and not believe in God?

For in the masterpiece there is God – his eternal power and divine nature. No wonder it’s so majestic.

And from in the masterpiece is my understanding – knowledge – of a God who encompasses all of this.

When I came back from Hawaii I wanted to move there. Seriously. I half-thought about moving there to teach. I had it all reasoned out. It’s an expensive place to live, but I wouldn’t need any money for fun – my fun would be in the beauty around me.

What is wonderful is that by default I am surrounded by God’s invisible qualities no matter where I am in his masterpiece. They may not be as high or deep or wide, but there still there, right in my backyard. In the intricacy of the turtle’s design or the pattern of behavior from the birds as they eat their breakfast.

There always here. Along with the opportunity to Fall in Love with Creation – His Creation - and to find Him there.

Even though we are in the middle of the cold months of the year, how can we Fall in Love with Creation with Valentine’s Day? Share with me.

One last day to enter the GIVEAWAY! As a gift to my readers we are also in the middle of a GIVEAWAY for your choice of a beautiful piece of scripture art from Amylee Weeks with Hidden in Your Heart! Click below to enter before Friday! The winner will be announced on Friday!

And on Friday a NEW GIVEAWAY will begin! You don't want to miss it!

Fall in Love with Your Life {and Plan a Party} :: Day 1
In this post I tell you how I threw a Valentine's Day party for myself and all of my single girlfriends, and I show you how you can plan your own! (Plus there's a link-up!)

Fall in Love with Your Family {and enter an AWESOME GIVEAWAY} :: Day 2
Learn how we can love our families better, and enter to win your choice of scripture art from Hidden in My Heart!

Fall in Love with Your Friends :: Day 3

Fall in Love with Those in Need :: Day 4

Fall in Love with Those in Need :: Day 4

noreply@blogger.com (Brenda @TripleBraided) — Wed, 08 Feb 2012 09:00:00 +0000

If you’ve been around Triple Braided for a few months you know that this past November I went to Burkina Faso, West Africa. Believe it or not it’s been almost three months, and I still haven’t finished writing about my trip. I know that sounds a little excessive – three months – to write about a ten day trip. But that’s how much is in my heart about what I witnessed. Writing about Burkina is not an easy feat because when I sit down at the computer all of those feelings, emotions, and memories come rushing out like a tidal wave that can’t be stopped - usually all down my face. By the time I stop the drenching, then think, and finally write hours have gone by. So I’m telling my story slowing.

But I mention it here because I fell in love in Burkina Faso. It was a quiet love, a love that comes over you in a way that you don’t know it will and are afraid it won’t ever again. It’s a love that is different. It’s a love that is outside of yourself.

One afternoon I was sitting outside with my friend Imelda painting her fingernails. We sat on concrete blocks that were being used to build a wall around the boys’ school. As I painted her nails I glanced down and noticed her feet. She was wearing flip-flops, and as expected in a country with little grass or concrete her feet were filthy from the dirt and dust.

Looking at her feet I had this intense desire to get down on my knees and kneel at them to paint her toenails. I didn’t know how I would get them clean enough to paint, but that didn’t matter. I just wanted them to be pretty too.

I asked her if I could paint her toenails and she adamantly said no. Conscious of possibly offending her or disregarding a custom from her culture I didn’t proceed. I just continued to paint her fingernails.

Never before, however, have I ever felt the desire to kneel on a dirt ground to touch, hold, clean, and paint someone’s feet. But in that moment nothing else mattered but that teenage girl – that teenage girl in need.

This Valentine’s Day I encourage you to Fall in Love with Someone in Need, and there are so many ways to do so. Serving in your community by making Valentine cards for children or the elderly. Serving other single women in need at a women’s shelter or a pregnancy center. Or even serving someone in need in your family or a friend.

My life, my wants, my needs became really, really small in Burkina Faso. I am not trying to tell you that now I am healed from selfishness. But I can attest to this – not a day goes by that I do not think of Imelda. And not a time goes by that I do not thank God in the midst of pitching-a-fit.

Tell us your ideas or experiences with Falling in Love with Those in Need.

We're in the middle of a ten day series of Falling in Love! With Valentine's Day a week away, every woman who reads this probably has a different feeling, emotion, or expectation about this upcoming day. Hopefully this series reminds us that Falling in Love is more than just candy and cards and kisses!

As a gift to my readers we are also in the middle of a GIVEAWAY for your choice of a beautiful piece of scripture art from Amylee Weeks with Hidden in Your Heart! Click below to enter before Friday!

And on Friday a NEW GIVEAWAY will begin! You don't want to miss it!

Fall in Love with Your Friends :: Day 3

noreply@blogger.com (Brenda @TripleBraided) — Tue, 07 Feb 2012 09:00:00 +0000

We met in the third grade – Mrs. Shreiner’s class. I already had braces and she was petite and just plain cute. We lived on opposite sides of the neighborhood – me on Camelot Ct. and her on Bluestone Dr. – not super close together, but close enough to walk. Although we didn’t like to walk the whole way alone. Instead we would decide on whose house we were going to play, meet in the middle, and then walk together the rest of the way. The summer was the best because our ice cream sandwiches accompanied us as we walked. I would carry two, one for me and one for her, and we would eat them together (usually sneaking another one when we got back to my house).

With each of those walks back and forth from house to house we grew up – Christina and me – and roots of a friendship ever so deep planted hard in our hearts. Today, 27 years later, we still talk at least once a week – sometimes more – and I still consider her the one person on this earth who knows me better than anyone.

It’s the kind of knowing where she can look at me and just by the slightest shift in my facial expression she can tell something else has shifted. Glancing across the room at each other all we have to do is look into each others’ eyes, and we know exactly what the other one wants to say but can’t at that moment. And even on the phone no effort to disguise a tone can fool the other person.

Christina is easy to love – truly love.

But what creates true love in a friendship?

1. The Absence of Jealousy

We have lived a long life together. She had more boyfriends than me. She was well-liked and very pretty. I got married first. She has two babies. But despite all of the joys and trials that we experienced together I can honestly say that bouts of jealousy were extremely short-lived if there at all. Our friendship was free from competition. We wanted what was best for each other, and we accepted each others’ blessings and our own defeats.

2. Patient Acceptance

Christina and I are very different. We have different personalities and gifts and even interests sometimes. But she has always accepted me – including my quirks and my silliness – and loves me anyway. When I want to analyze something just one more time after hours of already discussing it, she just listens. When I say something insensitive, she either ignores it knowing that it wasn’t intended or she addresses it with me.

3. Honest Authenticity

Realness. I can be real with her – myself – unedited. This is freeing. It is so nice to know that there is someone – a friend – who you can be yourself with and that you trust to be herself with you. And I can trust her to say the hard things if I need to hear them. The things that other people are probably thinking but too afraid to tell me.

4. Genuine Care

Christina and I genuinely care about each other, each others’ lives, and each others’ families. We invest in all of the facets of our lives. I want what is best for her, and she wants what is best for me.

Tell me, how is true love shown in your friendships?

This is the third day in the series "Falling in Love". Read the previous posts by clicking below, and don't forget to enter the giveaway that ends on Friday, February 9th! Oh, and another giveaway starts the next day! As a way to bless you, my readers, on the Fall in Love journey!

Fall in Love with Your Life {and Plan a Party} :: Day 1

In this post I tell you how I threw a Valentine's Day party for myself and all of my single girlfriends, and I show you how you can plan your own! (Plus there's a link-up!)

Fall in Love with Your Family {and enter an AWESOME GIVEAWAY} :: Day 2

Learn how we can love our families better, and enter to win your choice of scripture art from Hidden in My Heart!

Fall in Love with Your Family {and an AWESOME GIVEAWAY} :: Day 2

noreply@blogger.com (Brenda @TripleBraided) — Mon, 06 Feb 2012 05:05:00 +0000

“Anyone who does not provide for their relatives, and especially for their own household, has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.” 1 Timothy 5:8

The word “family” brings up all kinds of emotions and meanings.

Your first thought might be, “Well, I don’t have a family. That’s the problem.” Or maybe you’re a single mom, so you have children, but you don’t quite feel like you have a family. Or you live far away from your parents and siblings and have for a while, so family is more of an occasion a few times a year than a day-to-day relationship. Even more devastating is when one or both of your parents have passed away leaving you feeling somewhat like an orphan. This was my experience a few years ago when my mom died.

Then there are all of kinds of family dynamics and structures and sin that creep into every family. To even approach the topic of family seems overwhelming because as much as we want a one-size-fits-all for family, there just isn’t one.

Regardless we are still called to love our families. No matter what that looks like in our everyday lives.

Timothy says, “If anyone does not know how to manage his own family, how can he take care of God's church?” (1 Timothy 3:5). Basically, if you can’t love the people in your life now, how can God trust you with other responsibilities to love and care for people – in the church – but also, just maybe, in a husband and children?

I will be honest, this is hard for me. It is easier for me to love my husband than to love my parents and brother. I think it’s because I have had more time with the humanness in my parents and brother. They have hurt me, and I have hurt them.

But as a single woman, loving our families – the families we have been given, however that looks – is God’s way of sanctifying us (making us more like Him), and preparing us for our future families.

It is important to love our families and learn how to do so better.

1. Forgive them.

Forgiveness is a huge topic and too deep to discuss fully in this post, but study what God says about forgiveness in the Bible, listen to sermons about forgiveness, and pray, pray, pray! Ask God to soften your heart and help you to forgive.

2. Make them a priority.

Think about your family’s needs and feelings before your own. Maybe you’re tired and really don’t feel like making a phone call – call them anyway. Maybe it’s too far or too much effort to go visit – visit them anyway. Even if doing these things makes your life a little more inconvenient put their wishes and desires before your own.

3. Invest in their lives.

Develop a relationship with your family even if you live far away. Remember them on special days and holidays. Ask about the details in their lives – their work, interests, health, individual families.

4. Serve them.

Whatever their current needs, help them. Maybe it’s help babysitting, packing for a move, making a meal, going with them to the doctor, or just a fun day out.

5. Pray for them.

Pray each day for your family. I have a prayer schedule, and each day of the week I pray for different people. Each member of my family has a special day. Also, thank God for them. Not only will this help you see your family as a gift, but it will also help you forgive them in any areas that need forgiveness.

Today, ask God to show you ways you can Fall in Love with Your Family!

And now for an AWESOME GIVEAWAY that I am super excited about! Can you tell?

Let's Fall in Love with . . .

Hidden in My Heart scripture art by AmyLee Weeks

and a Giveaway!

Amylee creates beautiful scripture prints, block art, and framed art, and as a special Valentine's Day gift to you she's giving away your choice:

8x10 print of your design choice

5x5 art block of your design choice

So how do you enter?

It's simple!

Enter to win using Rafflecoptor!

There are two mandatory entries:

1. Leave a comment below telling us how you show love to your family.

2. "Like" Hidden in My Heart scripture art on Facebook

The other entries are "extras" and will help you win!

a Rafflecopter giveaway

The winner will be announced on Friday, February 10th
and shhhh! another giveaway will begin - just for you during our 10 Days of Falling in Love!

Fall in Love with Your Life {and Plan a Party} :: Day 1

noreply@blogger.com (Brenda @TripleBraided) — Sun, 05 Feb 2012 09:00:00 +0000

February is a big month. We find out if flip-flops and t-shirts are on the horizon or if we need to keep out the scarfs and gloves a little longer. We remember a time in America when not showing love to your neighbors was a cultural norm and a president who set in motion for change to one day occur. And we wear red to honor those hearts inside of us that we want to stay strong and healthy.

Then there is the one day that we associate with February more than any other: the love day.

The day that if you are in love, have love, or feel love, then you love it! But if not, then it’s just a reminder, and you want nothing more than to just go from February 13th to February 15th.

The year was 2006, and I was on my upswing of embracing my single life. I was tired of living in an imaginary future thinking about how big my world would be “if only I were married”.

On Valentine’s Day that year I decided that I was going to celebrate it just like everyone else – all the people who would be going on fun dates that night, cooking in together, or making Valentine’s with their kids.

And so, I had a Valentine’s Day party! And invited all of my single girlfriends!

Triple Braided is beginning a ten day series called “Falling in Love”. Today we are Falling in Love with Our Lives by embracing this day of love and planning a Valentine’s Day party! We have 10 days to plan it, so let’s get started!

I used Pinterest to pin my most favorite ideas!

The Invitation

Who? :: You and your girlfriends

What? :: A Valentine’s Day Party

When? :: You decide the date. Either on Valentine’s Day or a day before or after.

Where? :: Wherever you want – your home, a restaurant, or another fun place!

Why? :: To Fall in Love with Your Life!

How? :: Decide on your guest list, date and time, location, decorations, guest favors, activities, and of course FOOD! Below are some wonderful ideas I found.

Decorations

A Few Favorites:

Valentine’s Day Banner with book pages

Valentine Flowers Centerpiece

Heart Hanging Decorations

Table Garland (and really everything here!)

Check out my board on Pinterest for more ideas!

Guest Favors

A Few Favorites:

Bottled Up Love

Made with Love Jars

Candy Bags with cute printable labels

Tic-Tac-Holders

Check out my board on Pinterest for more ideas!

Activities

If you’re like my friends and I, we do not need a whole lot of activities because most of the time is spent talking! But here are a few ideas if you want to do something else (while you talk)!

Watch a girly movie (or any movie).
Create something – art, jewelry, scrapbook, custom cards, etc. (Pinterest is great for ideas!),
Cook together.
Make Valentine cards (if before the actual day) or another gift as a service project for children in need or for elderly people where you live. (Pinterest is great for homemade Valentine card ideas!)

Check out my board on Pinterest for more ideas!

The Menu

There are so many different ideas for the menu! If you’re having your party at home consider one of these fun and tasty themes!

Fancy Dinner
Potluck Dinner
Dessert Sampler
Teatime Treats
Appetizer Bar
Fondue Party

Check out my board on Pinterest for more ideas!

Plus there's a link-up! If you're a blogger, link-up to your favorite Valentine Day recipes, decor, crafts, and activities. Or leave a comment telling us your favorite Valentine Day ideas!

And I want to hear about your party! Whether you get together with just one girlfriend or a whole group, come back and link-up about your party (p.s. I love pictures!!)

. . . And I Knew He Was the One - A New Series and Link Up Contest from Beautiful Mommy Feet

noreply@blogger.com (Brenda @TripleBraided) — Thu, 02 Feb 2012 01:48:00 +0000

Please join Melissa at Beautiful Mommy Feet for a new series

" . . . I Knew He Was the One"

and

enter the Link-Up Contest to win:

What Did You Expect? by Paul Tripp

and

and advertisement of your blog for 6 months!

Single friends, your included!

Melissa has included a variety of possible topics to write about for the contest!

Read the details here!

I can't wait to read more from this series! Thank you, Melissa!

Why are Christian Singles Having Sex?

noreply@blogger.com (Brenda @TripleBraided) — Wed, 01 Feb 2012 09:00:00 +0000

An article written back in the September/October 2011 issue of Relevant Magazine entitled "(Almost) Everyone’s Doing It” states that eighty percent of young, unmarried Christians have had sex, and two-thirds have had sex within the past year.

Photo Credit: Creative Commons: Konrad Forstner

I’m not at all surprised.

My lack of disbelief is not at all because I am cynical or refute the power of the Holy Spirit or think that single people are just plain immoral.

It’s because . . .

I was single for a long time.

At that time I lived in a large, metropolitan city and served in a large, very well-known church where, if I had to guess, over half of the regular attenders were single, too.

There were single Christians all around me. I was a Christian. And I’m not just talking about the “let’s go to church once a week” kind of Christians. I’m talking about the serving-kind. The go-on-mission-trips-kind. The Bible-reading kind. The praying-kind.

And unfortunately premarital sex was there too. Our church walls did not serve as a vacuum to keep everything holy in and all of culture’s lies and sexual inundation out. Satan knows where to go looking.

We could discuss in depth many reasons why Christian singles have fallen prey to the bondage of premarital sex. But there’s one reason that I think is often overlooked, and yet is true for everyone regardless of how many times or how often or how many people.

We don’t truly believe that sex outside of marriage will hurt us.

Not might hurt us. Not may hurt us. Not will only hurt us if.

No, it will hurt us. There will be consequences.

We often just focus on the BIG consequences of sex outside of marriage: unwanted pregnancy and disease.

But for most people the consequences are so very subtle. Isn’t that how Satan likes to work? He doesn’t want it to be obvious so that you can immediately pinpoint the culprit. No, he wants to make you doubt that it was really the premarital sex in the first place.

And most of the time these subtle consequences come when the stakes are the highest. When you’re with the person you love more than anything, in marriage, and you can’t fully experience what that love was supposed to be like.

Subtle consequences such as:

distrust
intimacy issues
insecurity
jealousy
flashbacks to the past
infertility
unforgiveness
anger
disharmony
lack of unity
disrespect
controlling each other

While living out these issues do we ever attribute them to maybe, just maybe, the consequence of sexual sin?

Obviously not all of them or all the time, but sometimes? Yes. Because there are always consequences. Ever so subtle, they are there.

One of our gifts is free-will. It is a God-given gift. And we, as Christians, have free-will to have sex outside of marriage. But just know that it will cost you something, somewhere, at sometime. Most likely with the person you love more than life itself.

Is premarital sex worth it? Of course not. Is abstaining easy? Absolutely not. Staying sexually pure is a work of the Holy Spirit.

We know that our God is a God of redemption. He forgives and makes all things new. And yes, he can redeem past sexual sin and make a marriage new. But there are still the consequences.

Know the price it costs. Weigh it heavily. And think about that future man who you are going to spend your life with.

If you have already been involved premarital sex, confess, repent, and tell God that even though you know there will be consequences you are asking him redeem you and make all things new.

Our God is a good God. He has good things in store for you. Accept his gifts.

Do Single Women Need to “Woman Up”?

noreply@blogger.com (Brenda @TripleBraided) — Tue, 31 Jan 2012 09:00:00 +0000

Last week I read an article on Kyria’s Culture Blog entitled “Why Young Men Aren’t Manning Up?” The article discusses the reasons why men now-a-days seem to have a prolonged state of adolescence and refuse to “Man Up” while all the women sit around wondering where all the good men have gone – as if they are mature, adult women ready for responsibility and family and "womaning up" at age 22, I will add. And it got me asking myself,

At 22 years of age, did I “woman up”?

Photo Credit: Creative Commons: Victoria Garcia

Around this age a lot of women (I would really say most women) begin to think about marriage. If it wasn’t on the radar before, then it is now. There is a heightened awareness for the need to find a husband. I have found this to be true for the career-minded, want-to-conquer-the-world woman and the woman who’s desire is to be a homemaker. It doesn’t matter. I was determined to get my Master’s degree before getting married, so I went into the Master’s program a year after college, but that does not mean that I was not keenly aware of the fact that I better start looking. Because there was that underlying sense – that ever small fear – that I might just end up alone. So I started looking.

But was I really ready?

At 35 years old I still envy strong, young Christian couples who are firm in their faith, secure in their roles as men and women, and commit to marriage out of sacrificial love for one another because that was not me. And I suspect that even though the majority of women think they are ready for marriage and desire marriage at an early age, it is not them either – truly.

After being married for only three and half years, I can tell you the one thing I learned only two short weeks in: Marriage is a daily laying down of your life for another person – every day, day in and day out, selflessly.

At 22 years old (and even years beyond), I was not concerned about laying down my life for anyone. I was concerned about being lonely, having someone share the work load, wanting children, fulfilling my desire to be a homemaker, the wedding I had been planning for years, and decorating a home. My mind was filled with everything that would make me more content and secure and happy.

Not once did I think about uniting with someone to become more like Christ or creating a legacy for future generations or being used to fulfill a greater purpose in another person’s life.

With this mindset did I help the men I dated to “man up”, or did I just assist them in staying 22?

First of all, I didn’t give them a reason to want to “man up” as is mentioned in Jonathan Sprowl’s article. The expectations I had for a man were way above anything he could live up to because most of the time I was asking him to fill a void in my heart that only God can fill. My expectations were for him to fulfill the fairy tale not a calling.

If a man I was dating was not ready to pursue me like a man is supposed to, that was o.k. I would help him along by calling just one more time at night or reminding him that Valentine’s Day is coming up or sending him an email just to say “hey” in the middle of the day. I made it easy for him believing myself that I was not worth the work of pursuing.

My world became wrapped up in this other person – to the point of idolatry – and I became easily accessible. I let go of my interests and friends to keep this man close by. Life was easy for him. He had me when he wanted me and when he did not he could let me go knowing that I would be there waiting when he was ready for me again.

All of this kept him from having to be a man. He didn’t have to pursue and fight and conquer to win his princess. He already had her.

So he stayed 22. And I stayed 22, too. He suffered from no need to “man up”, and I allowed not “womaning up” to sabotage my true desires.

It is easy for me to think back and get angry at the men I dated not "manning up". But what if I had been a different woman? Well, either they would have gone on their way without me, leaving me with some emotional pain, no doubt, but as the woman God called me to be - a woman of integrity, sold out in surrender to Him, or they might, just might, have been persuaded to "man up".

We can't point fingers at our fellow brothers in Christ until we first examine ourselves.

Are there areas that you need to "woman up"?

May I encourage you to first "delight in the Lord".

Pursue Him above all else.

This is the ultimate "womaning up".

I want to know what you want to know! Please answer the poll question below:

When Do You Become Pretty?

noreply@blogger.com (Brenda @TripleBraided) — Mon, 30 Jan 2012 09:00:00 +0000

The truth came out when I was about twelve years old. My mom thought I was an ugly baby. Well, at the time she didn’t. At the time she thought I was the most beautiful baby that ever was born – of course – just like moms are supposed to think.

But when I was twelve she said to me, “I didn’t think so at the time, but now when I look back at pictures I think to myself, ‘She really was an ugly baby!’”

It truly didn’t offend me. I don’t know why because if she told me I was an ugly teenager I would have lost my mind. I guess I felt like I had no control over being a pretty baby. But a teenager? Much time, effort, and fretting was spent being pretty then.

But when did I really become pretty?

Was it the day I was born?

Did I become pretty after trying hard to look that way?

Was it when my mom told me I was pretty or when she truly thought of me as pretty?

Or maybe it’s that year I lost a little bit of weight and boys started talking to me?

Was that when I became pretty?

For years pretty did not look back at me when I glanced in the mirror. Frizzy hair. Flabby arms. Oil slick skin. Wide calves. Last year’s clothes. Or the never changing barely 60 inches. It was always something.

Then there was that one day that I caught my reflection as I walked by the mirror. I did a double-take, glancing again.

Pretty was staring back at me.

Did my mom change her mind and realize that I truly was a pretty baby? Had I tried harder that morning and succeeded at being pretty that day? Or somewhere out there were there boys that were daydreaming about my beauty?

The day I became pretty was the day I saw myself that way.

Nothing had changed on the outside. It was my mind that chose to see differently. I began to see the creation that was woven so intricately together, thread after thread. And I began to honor the Creator.

You see, a creation is-what-it-is. We cannot not add value to it or take it away. It’s only how the person chooses to see it that makes it something different.

You are a valuable creation whose worth has been set.

Today choose to see yourself as pretty.

How do those words leave you feeling?

Triple Braided is a ministry for single women to bring peace and wisdom

while preparing for marriage and living a life surrendered to God.

Get Triple Braided delivered straight to your inbox by subscribing here!

And follow Triple Braided on Facebook, Twitter, and Pinterest to join in the conversation!

I would love to hear your thoughts!

And the Winners . . .

noreply@blogger.com (Brenda @TripleBraided) — Fri, 27 Jan 2012 13:43:00 +0000

of Jeff Goins two eBooks Every Writer's Dream and Before Your First Book are . . .

Katy and Corrine!!

Yay!!

But don't worry! You, too, can purchase both of these eBooks for only $4.99!! Just click on Jeff Goins site!

Thank you so much for your comments about purpose and for entering the giveaway! I pray that as we each follow our purpose for our life, God will lead us to tell our stories in writing and/or speaking, but definitely through action!

Have a great weekend!!

When Compassion Came to Life :: Burkina Faso :: Day 5

noreply@blogger.com (Brenda @TripleBraided) — Thu, 26 Jan 2012 09:00:00 +0000

We had only just started sponsoring her. I had written her a few times, and she had written me back once. But this was the day that I looked forward to most – the day I would see her with my own eyes. Not just in a brochure telling me her name and her daily chores and her literacy level. But see her in person and touch her and look into those eyes.

She is my connection to Burkina Faso. I would go home, and she would stay, but it is through her that a part of me would come back every so often through my letters and the gifts I send with other teams who travel there from our church. She is my one person. My one person who was appointed to me to hopefully make a difference. A continual, ongoing difference, past the thirty minutes I spend with her here on day five of my trip.

I couldn’t wait to meet her.

That morning we walked over the Compassion site. The place where the children gather on Thursdays to learn etiquette and hygiene and Jesus. There were so many children. I carried the brochure in my hand, and her picture was right on the front. The children would look down at it, and I would hold it up. We couldn’t communicate, but they knew I was looking for her, and she was mine.

That day she had a big test at school, a test that would determine whether she goes on to the next level or not. See, I chose her because of her age. She is thirteen years old. I knew that the little ones are often chosen, but I wanted to give an older child a chance before she turned eighteen. So I chose her. In her country going to school, even public school, is a luxury. Only the brightest and the most fortunate are blessed with an education. Today she was working on that chance, and she was not planning to come to Compassion.

But I had to see her. I couldn’t come all that way without laying my eyes on her.

The big pink bag was stuffed full for her. Construction paper, markers, post-it notes, a notebook, a necklace, hair bows, a toothbrush, toothpaste, soap, and the skirts and t-shirts I had brought for myself to wear. Along with a bag of rice for her family.

They told me they would have to go and get her on the moped.

So I waited.

It wasn’t until late in the afternoon that the moped drove up with her on the back.

Children were all around me when she drove up. I broke away from the crowd and started walking toward the moped. They knew she was the one I had come to see.

And tears streamed down from my eyes. There she was – the teenage girl on the cover of the brochure that I sat in the church office and picked out from a pile of many. She was mine. My Compassion child.

We walked into the Compassion offices so that we could be alone and talk. My words were translated, and she was mostly quiet. I gave her all that I had brought her, and I told her that I prayed for her every day.

Compassion came alive for me that day.

A few nights later – the night before we left – the missionaries had some Congo dancers come out and perform as an ministry outreach for the village. As I walked to the school cafeteria to see the performance, I felt a tap on my shoulder. It was very dark, and I could not see. The voice said, “Blandine”. And it was her. She reached out her hand, and I shook it. She was wearing the pink t-shirt that I had given her, and that I had worn a few days before.

I saw her again that night for the last time in person.

Each day as I pray for Blandine as I picture her in my mind - in her village, at the Compassion site, with her family. She is a part of me. And in some small way I pray that I am a part of her, and through my prayers Jesus grows to become the most important person in her life.

I realize that I had a rare and blessed opportunity to meet the Compassion child we sponsor. Not everyone has that opportunity. But I want to urge you to prayerfully consider sponsoring a child through Compassion International. I have been to their facilities in Burkina Faso, and met some of the workers there. This is an organization that is led by the Lord to provide education, medical care, and spiritual development to children all over the world. It is an organization that is making a difference for eternity.

When You Know, But Ignore

noreply@blogger.com (Brenda @TripleBraided) — Wed, 25 Jan 2012 09:00:00 +0000

Last week I had to make a difficult phone call. A phone call that may tarnish my reputation and make me seem unreliable and untrustworthy. I had to break a commitment after only three days of keeping it. My decision affected several people and caused some more work and more trouble. But I know I had to do it. I know I had to do it because God had told me not to make the commitment in the first place. I used my logic instead of my faith, and I went against what he told me.

Now I was reaping the consequences.

Photo Credit: Creative Commons: Billy Brown

I picked up the phone bracing myself for what I deserved - my supervisor on the other end telling me how disappointed she was in me and how much added upheaval this would cause everyone involved. I knew she would be right. If that's what I heard, then that's what I deserved because it was true. I knew better before I ever began.

"I am really sorry to tell you this, but I have made a huge mistake. I am not going to be able to continue teaching this class. I will help you in any way possible to make the necessary adjustments, and again I am really sorry."

With each word that came out of my mouth I felt ashamed and yet relieved at the same time.

For months now I have struggled with God's true purpose for me - what he truly called me to do in this season of my life and who he truly made me to be. I have written a mission statement. I have prayed. I have sought counseling of pastors and friends. I have cried out in prayer.

And yet I still struggle. I still struggle with choosing his best between two goods.

See, the teaching job I agreed to back in December was not sinful. It did not go against God's Word. It would help our household income - obviously. It might open up some doors.

But open up doors to what? To what God wants to do with my life or to what seems logically to me?

Back in December I didn't cover this decision in prayer. I didn't seek God's voice wholeheartedly. Instead I just glossed over it and did what I thought I needed to do. But in the back in my mind, and in the pit of my chest, his ever so quiet voice sat. And it just sat - not yelling, not moving - just muttering and poking ever so slightly.

I knew what he was saying.

The choice to take the teaching job wasn't bad in itself. But for me it wasn't God's best. It's not how he wants me spending my time. It does not fulfill who he created me to be and what he created me to accomplish. I don't know exactly how he wants me to spend that extra time two nights a week, but I have some ideas. And I am trusting him to show me.

So what did my supervisor say on the other side of the phone conversation? She told me she understood. She told me it's o.k. She told me that she would still like to keep in touch.

I don't deserve these words. I deserve to be reprimanded.

It's a perfect example of God's grace and mercy upon me. He knew I was disobedient. He knew I went against his promptings. And yet he showered me with grace and mercy.

All I could do was thank him. And tell him that I want to be quick to listen to him next time even if it's not logical to me. I asked him to help me to be faithful even when I can't see.

What makes his grace and mercy even sweeter is that this wasn't the first time I ignored him. He is so patient with me.

Have you ever had to go back on a commitment knowing it was wrong for you in the first place?

Triple Braided is a ministry for single women to bring peace and wisdom

while preparing for marriage and living a life surrendered to God.

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Are You Betting on This Being the Year?

noreply@blogger.com (Brenda @TripleBraided) — Tue, 24 Jan 2012 09:00:00 +0000

As January gets on it's way do you have the thought lingering there in your mind, the thought you don't want to say out loud for fear of jinxing it, but you just can't help wonder - sometimes to obsession?
The thought, "What if this is the year . . . I meet him?"

Him. The One. The One who meets 95% of the requirements on your "must-haves" list and is the twin of the man in your mind who you've been secretly designing for years. The One who takes you on a first date that begins a family legacy talked about for generations. The One who makes you say, "He's the one. I just know it. I can't explain it, but I just know it." The One who will be there next Christmas and New Year's. The One who will cause your life to begin.

In an effort to meet the One you eagerly start off the new year attending every social event possible. Volunteering for every service project available. All the while scanning every room you walk into just in case he might be there.

This thought dominated my mind as a new year began each year. I felt excited at the possibility that this could be the year, but then terrified at the thought that it might not be, and I would conclude another year with my deepest desire left there for me to carry into one more new year of life without a husband.

There is nothing wrong with dreaming about the wonderful possibilities that a new year can bring. In many ways this is a key to our motivation to make our lives new and different and maybe better.

But it becomes debilitating when we take our dreams and hold onto them too tight, as our own, manipulating them into a world that doesn't yet exist and betting on a world that has yet to be made. We start making decisions based upon what's not real. Our mind is stuck in all the "what ifs" instead of firmly planted in the purpose for right now. Before we know it our "what-ifs" start to look like the right now, and we are blinded to reality.
Maybe you want to buy a house or go on a mission trip or go into the mission field full-time. Maybe it's changing jobs or moving up in your job or just moving in general. Maybe it's buying new furniture or redecorating or going back to school.

Whatever it is that God has laid in your mind and on your heart, make decisions about those possibilities not based on whether this is the year you meet your future husband or not, but based on whether it is God's plan for you this year, at this time in your life. Many opportunities are lost when we think we know better than God and try to manipulate our circumstances to make our year unfold the way we dream of it unfolding.

Betting on your future will cost you.

It costed me.

It costed me opportunities and possibilities. It costed me my true purpose. It costed me time. It costed me peace.

Whatever God is leading you to do - do it - without considering dreams that are not yet yours. Don't bet on what might be tomorrow. Because then you won't have today to take with you.

Is it hard to live in the present without betting on the "what ifs" of your dreams?

Triple Braided is a ministry for single women to bring peace and wisdom

while preparing for marriage and living a life surrendered to God.

Get Triple Braided delivered straight to your inbox by subscribing here!

And follow Triple Braided on Facebook and Twitter and join in the conversation!

I would love to hear your thoughts!

A Story about Finding Purpose and a Giveaway to All of You Who Want to Write

noreply@blogger.com (Brenda @TripleBraided) — Mon, 23 Jan 2012 09:00:00 +0000

Today I am telling a story that I am living right now - a story of finding God's true purpose for my life - and there is an awesome giveaway from Jeff Goins to go along with it! If you're most interested in the giveaway, just scroll down to enter. He's giving away two of his most recent eBooks, and I would love for you to have a copy! I've read them, and they are just like all of his other works - useful, practical, and without fluff! Every aspiring writer's must haves!

But first my story of becoming a writer and finding purpose . . . wow . . . yes . . . a writer . . .

I think the first time I really wrote about it was when I announced that I was getting off of the ferris wheel. The ferris wheel started two years after I graduated college, and believe it or not I did get off a few times, only to get back on again. It's funny how the familiar, ever how miserable or possibly outside of God's will, keeps us going around and around and around - feeling hopeless and afraid.
That was me. And sometimes it still is me. But at least now I'm working on getting off for good.

But anyway, it was when I was sitting in John's hospital room before he had his transplant that it came to me. The missing piece to the puzzle that has left me feeling bound to a career I detested to the point of feeling moral guilt. I began writing each day in the months that led up to those hospital days about caring for my sick husband and how my soul hurt and how God was faithful. And with each post I wrote I felt better. I felt like there was a place for my mind on those pages, and I was able to release it each night there. Shortly after I began writing it became my mission to write for a purpose. I did not know if John would die or not, but I was determined that our story would be used for good. So I wrote it. Day in and day out. I wrote it.

And I remembered my little girl self sitting in my room writing a story about a unicorn. I liked to write, and by school standards I was a good writer. But I never thought so. I got frustrated with it, and pushed it down deep, deep inside. I remember telling myself over and over again that I wasn't creative. I was logical and organized and predictable. I was the first child. The responsible one. Not the artist. But no matter how hard I tried to make my life match these labels, it didn't. I was really a dreamer and messy and spontaneous.

So I began to explore this new need to write that gave me my oxygen each of those days, in and out of the hospital, not knowing what tomorrow would bring. And I began to really contemplate the effects of the ferris wheel and my purpose for this life I've been given.

After those scary days had passed, I sat in our pastoral counselor's office at church not knowing which way was right. I knew I had to get off. I knew the ride had to come to an end. Then he said to me, "Brenda, you are a writer. You are a creative."

My world opened up. For once I knew myself and was comfortable there. It was o.k. to hate the ferris wheel and to be messy and disorganized and dream about unicorns.

I was meant for something different. I was meant to write.

So, I began to study the art and industry of writing. And, boy, is it vast and hard. It is a lot of work.

But there are some great people out there who not only are great writers, but who love writing so much they like to teach us how to do it better. Jeff Goins is one of them. His blog is an endless well of information, and he is so gracious that he offers most of it for free.

Most recently he has written two new eBooks: Every Writer's Dream: How to Never Pitch Your Writing Again and Before Your First Book: 5 Tips to Get Published Now.

I have read both of the eBooks, and this is what I like most about Jeff's writing:

He is honest. He tells it like it is without fluff or dramatized sentimentalism. But he is also encouraging.
His books are practical. They are easy to understand with one, two, three, . . . steps to take.
His books are useful. I am always feel like I have information all in one place that I would have taken hours to find bits and pieces scattered all over the internet.
I am left with the feeling that he truly loves writing, so he genuinely wants to help people be successful at writing, too.

If you are a blogger or aspiring writer of any kind, you need his new eBooks!

And this week I am hosting a giveaway to TWO readers!

All you have to do is comment telling me something about your purpose, knowing your purpose, struggling with knowing your purpose, or anything about purpose!

On Friday we will announce the TWO winners of Jeff's new eBook!

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Do You Have Permission to Say No?

noreply@blogger.com (Brenda @TripleBraided) — Sat, 21 Jan 2012 23:08:00 +0000

Do you ever wish you just had someone right beside you making you say "no" to projects or parties or events that you don't have time for just so that you won't feel quilty for saying no yourself?

Well, today at Homemaker's Challenge I am sharing the one thing that has helped me to say no - guilt free - and has helped me manage my time better. Find out what it is here!

While you're at it check out Amy Lynn Andrew's fantastic eBook, Tell Your Time (affiliate link), that I recently read and that helped me to organize my day so that's it's filled with only the vitals - the things that fulfill my mission!

And The Mom Whisperer - the life coach that helped me find and write my mission, and someone I highly recommend!

A Beach Party (in)RL!

noreply@blogger.com (Brenda @TripleBraided) — Tue, 17 Jan 2012 21:15:00 +0000

Have you heard?

(In)Courage is hosting a beach party - (in)RL, right in our own homes, all over the world on April 27th and 28th!

There will be a webcast, giveaways, food, girl talk, and a t-shirt for everyone who registers!

Go to www.inrl.us to register for a meetup near you.

And if you're in NC, I'm hosting! Contact me, and I'll give you more info!