Talk Talk Telephone Talk

The ank guy...

2009-05-17T15:12:00.002-04:00

...claims that in Calgary people say "compy", meaning compliment. Can anyone confirm or deny? I've known many Canadians and never heard this before. It seems to fit too perfectly into his personal lexicon of self-invented infantalized slang.

Other key confusing phrases from our most recent (all too short) call:

"ranks behind the anks"

"sticky-outy ankles"

"sharp anks"

"she got up on her tips so her anks stuck out"

I have no issue with his fetish in and of itself, but his insular fantasy world (and its language) do get annoying as:

a. He frequently interrupts
b. He get irritated when asked for necessary clarification (PSNPP*)
c. He generally will not acknowledge anything I say. He seems to mostly want to monologue, except for when he wants a (very specific but unspecified response, and he does not communicate any of this.
d. His fantasies usually take on a nasty classist and misogynist bend.

With those pieces in play, I'm ripe for irritation. And he definitely can bring the pet peeves. Like:

Anatomical confusion:

"I fucked her hard little cunt" (That's a new one.)

Ignorance of fetishized clothing:

"she was wearing knee high tights, like spandex" (he meant bike shorts.)

Maybe I'm being unfair, but if you're going to explore your unusual and rigidly defined (down to the invented language) fantasy with a stranger, you need to be willing to communicate the perameters!

*Phone Sex, not Phone Psychic

Freudian slip?

2009-04-12T18:56:00.001-04:00

Caller rhapsodizes about "Hung Ebony Goddess Men".

SLUT ANKS

2009-04-05T16:52:00.004-04:00

One of my notable regulars has a serious leg fetish, but not in the way you'd expect. Not of the "oh, I want to lick your long shapely legs" or "no, keep the pantyhose on" or even "you could crush me with those tear drop thighs!" variety.

He likes to roleplay. He wants the same thing every time. He pretends he's calling under the pretense of working for a hosiery company that's conducting a customer survey. He wants you to "act dominant, but really be submissive" as you participate in the survey, which shockingly culminates in him instructing you to masturbate.

But there is so much more along the way.

Would you say that you have thick ankles or very thick ankles?

Oh, excuse me, "anks". His sexxy slang for ankles is "anks".

Are your anks hard like a woman who lives in a trailer? Is there a deep "v" indenture[sic] in your ank or does it go around into an indenture[sic]?

How is one supposed to answer such question? What do they mean?

Between his misuse of words, confusing classist stereotyping, and highly specific yet largely nonsensical imagining of anatomy it is really hard to tell this dude what he wants to hear. It is only after many calls that I am able to play well.

at a certain point in the call he will deem your thick, hard, masculine, and apparently very bumpy and elephantine ankles to be "slut anks" which he will proceed to both praise and disparage throughout the rest of the call, with no disparity acknowledged between his claims that you are "sexy" and "ugly". While you are masturbating along with his commands he proclaims "you are an ugly slut...stupid dominant fucking slut".

He also makes confounding claims such as "if you lift up your neck you can see a dick form in your neck--your jaw shines when you lift it up."

Obviously he is either Secretly Gay and self-hating or has an attraction to masculine women that he has some kinda ish with...but none of that explains "your jaw shines when you lift it up."

WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?

Really...do any of you know?

Speakerfone Redux

2009-03-28T11:40:00.000-04:00

Oh god god god Pleas NO MORE SPEAKERPHONE.

I know it seems like a good idea in theory: "Oooh honey, let's call up phone sex on speakerphone while we're foolin' around! So hot!"

Except that I CAN NOT TELL WHAT THE FUCK YOU ARE SAYING. And you can't tell what I'm saying. so it's all clipped, staticy "huh? what?"s on your end and "I'm sorry baby, I didn't quite catch that"s on mine. HOT-T-T.

No, really. I didn't get 96% or what he said. It was even worse when his (shy) girlfriend talked to me while he took a call on his cell. "Mmmph. Mrr?" I understood nary a word.

racists

2009-01-13T19:46:00.003-05:00

Just hung up on a racist. His big thing was throwing around the N word and other epithets, wanting to hear about white women sucking black cock. Yawn. I asked if it was because he had a small cock and he said yes. So for awhile I just took my aggravation out on him--no wonder he's calling me, no woman would want to sleep with him. General small-dick humiliation stuff, with an edge of actual contempt--something I don't really like to include in my work. I asked if he was frightened of and intimidated by black men and he said yes. I laughed at him when he used slurs and tried to get me to do the same, said he was pathetic. He started acting more contemptuous towards me and I laughed more, I'd been playing this as a dom call. I don't switch horses in midstream unless I'm really clicking with a caller. He said something about his fat cock and I was like whoa buddy, you told me it was small, which is it? Obviously he was all over the place, grasping at every tension building signifying--black men have animalistically enormous cocks that dwarf mine, I have a big cock, you're a bitch, w/e. He was getting ruder and ruder and not showing any signs of coming, and I was feeling sicker and sicker in my stomach, so I hung up.

I have never done that before.

Usually in situations like this I get the caller to hang up, but enough was enough. Fuck it.

You don't want to hear...

2008-12-13T18:37:00.001-05:00

"Wow, that was unusually quick! What is your number for future use?"

So much wrong there.

Paging Miss Manners!

2008-12-12T12:09:00.003-05:00

Roleplaying: fine. "Taboo" roleplaying? Fine. Daddy/Daughter? FINE. Bothered me at first, now it doesn't. At least not in and of itself. If there's plausible (by my roleplaying standards) build and relationship tension and blah blah blah, if the caller either has minimal communication skills or is happy letting me direct, we're good.

What I hate is a guy who makes me play psychic, who demurs every time I ask something about what he likes or wants to do during our excruciatingly long and info-parched getting-to-know-you talk. He finally asked me if I like roleplaying and through the noises he made in response to the cross section of scenarios I said I enjoyed (along with his refusal to name any scenarios he had enjoyed or tried at all, despite his eventual admittance that he and his fiance loved roleplaying,) I determined that he wanted family fun. Eventually narrowed it to daddy/daughter.

He of course could provide zero input as to location, scenario, dynamics, reactions, relationship, etc. Anytime I gently, sexily asked what he thought about anything he's just flip it back around on me. This shit is like babysitting a 5 year old who asks "why?" in response to everything you say, it's that frustrating and pointless. So I suggest a standard daddy-catches-me-masturbating-and-im-embarrassed-but-he-tell-me-not-to-stop-and-things-go-from-there. He keeps pressing "lay it out for me" and "set the scene", so we were starting from a fairly solid blueprint.

Of course, once we're going, he starts throwing in all these twists that were not discussed and, to my fantasy-oriented brain, didn't really fit with the scenario. He gets all into berating me for being a whore, and not in a playful, or sensual or anything way, just...hateful. Plus he's a bad actor. And keeps saying "I slap you across the face" and then gets on this "all women are whores" kick--he keeps saying it and trying to get me to concur. The scene was unpleasant and illogical in the way that bugs me--there needs to be some internal fantasy logic going, much as "logic" would probably be a laughable label to an outsider looking in. Not real world logic, fantasy logic. The kind that allows for a dom to say the craziest shit that makes NO sense but its fine because the logic internal to the scene is "MY WILL is THE TRUTH" or w/e, and the flagrant flouting of anything legible as logic is just another signifier of how the dom is shaping the very fabric of reality internal to the scene.

ANYWAY.

Since he was improvising I did to, turned bratty, "how are all women whores? I'm not making any money by masturbating "if masturbation is so bad, why do you do it all the time? If you think sex is so dirty, why do you fuck my mother every night"

Well, to the latter "because she's a whore too and she gets what she deserves"

I need to take a money to just say that the misogynist patriarchal "all women are whores" anti-logic is particular pet peeve of mine. It could be worked into a scene in a way I'd be fine with, but throwing it in in the lazy way he did just IRKED me. So I back talked more cuz it just felt gross to continue the "oh daddy I'm so embarrassed and sorry" line I'd started out with, given the shifting circumstances. He wasn't sticking to his role, and mine no longer worked, and i just wasn't up for a fake-weeping "Oh Daddy please stop im sorry I am a whore don't rape me and [gross graphic depictions of sexual violence and its effects--I just don't really play that]" so the next time he slapped me, after saying in an annoyed tone "ouch daddy, cut it out!" that I'd call social services on him.

"you're 18, what are they gonna do"

"Arrest you. You're hitting me. It's illegal."

"Oh, so you want to have nowhere to live?"

"Well, I could always go live with my boyfriend. And you could live in jail! And then you could get fucked too! Is that what you want daddy? Is that why you keep hitting me for no reason? You want to go to prison so you can get fucked by a guy without ever having to admit to your gay thoughts?"

"Oh you want something gay? turn over."

I neglected to point out that it's not very "gay" for a father to sodomize his daughter, I was done splitting hairs. And thankfully, soon done with the call!

Phone Sex Rules

2008-12-09T16:53:00.002-05:00

#5842: Do not announce upon pickup that your phone is about to die. You are either lying or a really, really poor planner, and I can't respect that. I'm trying to make money here. You do not get bonus points for faux apologizing for the depleted state of your battery. I will go through with my normal premble, so go ahead and hang up within the first minute if this bothers you so I can stay at the top of the call rotation and get someone else to talk to. I'm not going to reward your tacky behavior, especially at the expense of my paycheck.

I'm working and

2008-12-07T14:39:00.002-05:00

I'm importing and organizing photos from my camera, many are of myself. I'm reminded of when I worked out of the call center rather than at home. A friend in the training department once told me to keep a mirror in my cubicle so during hard calls I could look at myself on calls an remember that I'm me, not the character on the phone.

Dear Phone Sex Callers

2008-11-02T16:20:00.002-05:00

Technology has not yet advanced to the point David Levy imagines that we will soon reach"> and thus the chance that you will be speaking with a robot once you are through navigating the menus on a phone sex line are slim. Hence the most basic rules of etiquette still apply, those that acknowledge the humanity of the person you are speaking with. For example, if you say hello in a hostile tone of voice, you can expect a negative emotional reaction from the other party. If you don't let your fantasy girl get a word in edgewise, it is rude. If you expect your fantasy girl to just suck it up, answer your list of questions quickly and then start moaning despite the fact that you have been very rude to her, you are an asshole. You do not deserve "good service" and you will not get "good service".

Phone sex is expensive. if you're gonna call, be prepared to pay. Be prepared for fantasy girls to try to keep you on the line. Acting in an increasingly hostile manner will not get you you the super-short sweet cheap(er)If you want. Politely explaining what you want might. Yelling "YOU'RE A CUNT!" at someone who just told you they are 18 years old and worried that you don't like her because of how you are speaking to her indicates that you are emotionally unbalanced. I hope you will get the professional help you need, but I am not a psychoanalyst. Taking your anger out on a another person through sexual demands is abusive, business component or not.

Taking abuse is not my job. I understand that many people don't get that, they think that "anything goes" once you're dipped your toe in the dirty dirty water of the sex industry, that people "buy" prostitutes (think about that), that strippers have no boundaries (or alternately, can't have any that money won't breach), that you can pay your $3 a minute, hardly any of which goes to me, so that you can verbally treat me however you want, make whatever demands you want, and it's my job to acquiesce. This one of the many many reasons that I support Prop K, but I digress. No, as I've said before and I'll say again, 75% of my job is to keep you on the phone as long as possible the other 25% is to try to make you want to call back. I don't give a fuck about alienating a hostile minute man. Nothing personal, just math.

more of the same more or less

2008-10-19T14:11:00.001-04:00

Just made a guy hang up on me by innocently asking him if he liked having his ass played with, feigning shock when he said no and that he'd never tried it, and enthusiastically detailing all the guys I'd fucked with strap once and how much they all loved it once they relaxed a little. How, much as I *love* anal, they love it even more and he should definitely try it sometime! He was one of those "I'm gonna rape your ass" guys. That's ok If that's worked into some fantasy context, some elaborate roleplay or something, but to just do a straight, boring call where *that* is what he wants to talk about? Ugh. It makes me feel awful, so I try not to do it anymore. I started by just "innocently" doing a bad job, giggling at the word "rape" and whatnot, saying "oh yeah, I love that" in my best anti-convincing tone...but it just went on and I was starting to feel pretty gross, hence raising the strap on topic. For a minute I thought maybe I could actually get him to go for it--some dudes like that totally do--and that would have been great. Do a long call about something I'm comfortable with. Mais non. Ugh. I fucking hate those calls.

Work was getting better after I decided to just not do calls that make me feel like shit. Company policy or no. I'll risk the chastising for bungling on purpose. It's not worth my emotional health.

Today has been surprisingly good with the number and length of calls, but generally things have been SUCKING. Few calls. Short calls. dudes who used to do long calls with me cutting off after a few minutes, getting just enough stimulation rather than relaxing in it...fucking economy.

Hey SF-ers: Support Prop K!

2008-09-08T21:26:00.002-04:00

In November San Francisco will have the opportunity to vote on Prop K, a historic ballot initiative that would decriminalize prostitution and thus increase the safety and well being of an under served sector of the workforce. At times like this I wish I lived in SF!

VOTE YES ON PROP K!

From http://www.bayswan.org/SFInitiative08/ :

Proponents Argument for Proposition K
ENFORCEMENT OF LAWS RELATED TO PROSTITUTION AND SEX WORKERS

The current system of criminalized prostitution is not working in San Francisco. It is not working for PROSTITUTES who work consensually nor for those who are abused or coerced. As of this date, there have been no prosecutions for human trafficking in California.

According to the Public Defender's Office "This initiative would not prohibit local law enforcement from enforcing federal law to combat the exploitation of persons who are kidnapped, transported, abused and held captive by sex traffickers."

MEASURE K WOULD enable sex workers, clients and authorities to join forces and challenge abuses. In less criminalized environments, police can also obtain assistance from clients who are often the first to report trafficking or other abuses.

The city spends millions of dollars each year on the revolving door of arrests and operating a shame-based program. Meanwhile there is a record homicide rate. This legislation is about sensible law enforcement, budgeting priorities, and redirecting resources for sex workers and our families. By focusing on equal protection, the whole community’s standards will be improved.

A five year study just released in New Zealand where decriminalization has been in place since 2003, found no increase in prostitution, either street or home based. Although the stigma for sex workers had not disappeared, coercion was not widespread, and prostitutes were safer and healthier than before.

This city has a unique opportunity to once again to take the lead in advancing civil rights. Please vote YES on MEASURE K.

Maxine Doogan , Erotic Service Provider Union
Starchild , Sex Worker Outreach Project, Northern California
Rachel West , US PROStitutes Collective

more at
http://espu-ca.org/wp/

Not how I wanted to start my shift!

2008-08-21T10:14:00.002-04:00

-Hello!

-Hello this is Daddy

-Hi Daddy, I've been waiting for you.

-That's nice to hear.

-Where are you calling from, Daddy?

-Tacoma

-Oh, it's so pretty there! I'm in New York, do you ever come here?

-Yes. What I'd really like today is to pop my little [static] cunt?

-Excuse me, I missed some of that, Daddy.

-I said that today I'd really like to pop my little preteen daughter's virgin cunt.

-Sorry, Daddy, but on this line everybody needs to be at least 18, but I can be your little 18-year-old virgin...

[click]

WORK WITH ME, PEOPLE!

Once the "I AM 18" is established I won't mention it again and your stupid fantasy will go as planned, minus any EXPLICIT references to my character being underage. But it will implied to hell and back. Can you live with that, or is this in violation of your rights as a consumer--raping your 12 year old daughter fantasy, your way right away, no conditions?

Just as soon not do that kind of fantasy anyway. Pls send more xdressers k thx bai.

A weird thing is

2008-08-07T15:19:00.002-04:00

Well, it's not really weird. Sad?

Guys who select my horny housewife sample and then issue about talking to a married woman and how its "wrong". And can't get into the sex because its "wrong". They stay on the phone, just angsting. No matter how much I explain that my non-existant husband and I have an agreement, that he doesn't mind, that the caller isn't hurting my marriage or doing anything that anyone else feels bad about in any way...

Happens quite a bit.

Try it sometime

2008-08-05T18:23:00.001-04:00

Phone sex with hiccups.

You can imagine.

Anal Sex!

2008-08-05T15:25:00.000-04:00

There are some places where I have to draw the line. At least most of the time. One of them is anal sex because, as I have discussed on this journal before, a lot of the heterosexual guys who call me really do not know how to do it at all and either try to IRL or hope to someday. So unless we're doing a fantasy where it is appropriate I will not "Tell [you] how [I] want me to do it" if the translation of this command is "Tell me to bend you over and ram it in." These guys have seen too much internet porn and too little creative sex not involving professionals and they really don't get that the way they imagine anal sex happening does not exist. They are aiming for something that is unattainable without causing massive, probably really un-fun pain.

This is different from me saying I will easily deep throat their 12 inch dick because they do not and never will have a 12 inch dick. This is clearly not a fantasy to be repeated IRL. I'm not necc gonna lecture on how I probably couldn't actually do that.

Anal sex is different. It is something they could do, something lots of women hate because stupid straight guys want to do it with them and go about it all wrong and then said guys develop delusions that either their cock is "too big" to do that or that women who don't like it because some jackass hurt them attempting it are prissier than woman who've made better choices or had better luck or educated themselves on what the fuck you do.

So I keep it sexy, but I tell them that that doesn't work. I tell them that I looooove anal sex and have it 5 times a day but only with guys who are good at it. I tell them that is a guy is inexperienced that's cool but he has to want to learn and that I am a very good teacher. Often this works.

Some guys actually do want to know how to be better in bed and not hurt their partners. They might even find the concept compatible with their own enjoyment.

Often, like just now, they hang up on me.

You know, they think my job is to make them come. My job is too keep them on the phone. And my flirty tutorials take longer than "stick it in RIGHT NOW 2 minutes into the call". Get with the program.

"You are very slut in the ankles"

2008-07-29T14:55:00.002-04:00

This guy has called before. He rubs me the wrong way.

It may not be fair, he may just have an offbeat, somewhat distasteful (to me) and incredibly specific fantasy that he cannot explain clearly. He does not seem to understand what is relevant info and what is not but hey, I have that problem too. I can be terrible at getting to the point, laying things out clearly and concisely. I ramble on and on, so I should forgive the same in him. I get flustered.

But I don’t get flustered because someone asks for clarification on: “your attributes are more than they are.” He obviously has a thing about the phrase, I remember him using it last time, too. And last time I was in a less centered, happy, phone-sex-caller-tolerant place in my life and let my annoyance show through much more than I did today--my character is an all-business, somewhat aggressive acting but (dig this!) actually really submissive woman, after all. I knew I could get away with it and argue, should I be monitored, that I was just missing the mark a li’l role-wise, but in good faith. Obviously I was offended--what attributes? Intelligence was certainly a possibility on the table. General attractiveness? He hadn’t even received a bogus description yet! And he’s already saying I’m playing a character whose “attributes” are “more” than they are IRL? Last time our convo went something like this:

me: what do you mean by that?

him: that your attributes are more than they are

me: which attributes?

him: you know, your attributes

me: I have a lot of different attributes

him: well, they are more

at this point I said something like “so I should pretend my 10” strap on dildo is actually 24” and he said no and the wrong foot supported or fantasy which quickly crumbled as I played his hosiery survey prank call victim much bitchier and more skeptical than I knew he wanted and *click*.

Today I more gently was able to get out that he wanted me BIG and CURVY and MUSCLEBOUND (my question after a very similar interchange as that outlined above was “so if I’m really 5’6” you want me to say that I’m 6’ 3”? to which he paused and said “sort of”...) and I couldn’t help but tell him, politely, that in the future it would help if he would say that rather than “your attributes are more than they are” as 1-the talker will have no idea which attributes he’s talking about and 2-he has no idea what the states of the talkers actual attributes are, to which he actually awkwardly concurred.

Then the fantasy is I’m a store manager and he calls complaining about a sales girl’s demeanor and then morphs it into a market research survey from a hosiery company that includes increasingly invasive and bizarre questions like “do you have big and really wide or over sized ankles?” which lead him to conclude that “You are very slut in the ankles” and no, no typos in there. Then he says that he called me because by chance he did a survey with my husband who explained that he doesn’t like how masculine my ankles are and that’s why he goes away all the time. As he gets more excited he begins occasionally referring to ankles as "anks". Then he tells me to lift my enormous breasts out of my bra, stick my ankles out, stand on my tippy-toes “like an ugly slut” and masturbate in front of a mirror that he magically knows is in my office at which point he comes, and then...

*cough cough HAACK cough*

You okay there, buddy?

Yes! I’m fine! I’ve just been smoking and I shouldn’t. I’m allergic.

Ah, you gotta be careful with that.

That’s the second time someone’s told me that!

Well, it’s true...not that we don’t all have our vies. Just watch yourself.

The thing is, the thing is I smoke American Spirits! SO there’s no crap in it.

You know, I can’t vouch for this story, but a friend told me that their friend had an American Spirit cigarette analyzed in a lab and there was a bunch of additives they claim not to have in the tobacco!

THAT’S NOT TRUE! In CANADA they have different packaging and everything...

Well, this was a US American Spirit, so yeah, it may not apply to the Canadian ones I don’t know...

No! No! I’m smoking the American ones! In Canada they have different packaging and it says they have all these additives and on the American ones it doesn’t say that cuz they don’t!

You trust a tobacco company?

It’s true! They don’t have it! I even call them and everything! I asked them and they said they didn’t have additives!

You trust what a tobacco company rep tells you over the phone? They don’t exactly have the best reputation for being truthful. They get sued over...

American Spirits hasn’t been sued!

No, not that I know of, I’m just saying that tobacco companies in general don’t have a good reputation and to be skeptical, I have no idea if American Spirit is being honest or not, I’m just passing on what my friend told me.

Oh, that’s right, your friend said it. It’s pure tobacco! I can smell it! I know what pure tobacco smells like!

I believe you...well you give me a call again later if you’re feeling randy.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!
I haven’t heard that in a long time!

Glad it delighted you so much

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! That is too funny!

Yeah well, you take care.

Banned phrase of the day

2008-05-29T13:39:00.000-04:00

"belly hole"

?

Never again.

Cough cough

2008-04-22T14:39:00.001-04:00

Phone sexin' is good for being sick cuz I can "rest" and don't have to get out of my jammies (though I did get out of my jammies and am fully dressed) but bad because have you heard wtf I sound like right now? My sinus have joined the party and it's very audible. Not to mention the periodic, extensive coughing fits. And their bad cough, somethin's WRONG sounding fits, not like some Sprite "went down the wrong pipe". Sexy! Also I have been trying to fight down said fits til in between calls as much as possible, which triggers childhood memories of doing the same because my dad would get mad at me for coughing. Because he loved me and didn't want me sick and all, but...BUT...

Maybe the cold and flu fetishist will call today!

Great. Now fucking M the tweaker is on the phone, giving me instructions like "smack it against your tongue. Make it get heavier. like this: augh-augh-augh-augh-augh. But faster."

[I half heartedly imitate him]

"No, like, it gets heavier."

"what does, M?"

"His cock. "

"Well, M, I don't actually have a cock here, so you're going to have to use your imagination."

"So, use something else."

"Right"

I have fucking Whooping Pnemonia-chitus. I am not gonna fucking smack anything against my fucking tongue.

Oh good. he's gone. Oh look, he's back.

At least both were requests. This one on the dom line.

Attention ladies and gentleman: M the tweaker, who once got mad and referred to David Silver as "that fag" when I tried to pop-culture meth-bond with him, who has never once before in six yearsexpressed any cocksucking fantasies, M the tweaker who has had the exact same fantasy every time I have talked to him for the past 5 of those, this time he broke the we're-talking-on-the-phone-while-i'm with-another-guy dysfunctional roleplay to say he wanted to be there. And get up close and personal. I jumped the gun by bitchily ordering him to specifically get up close and personal with another schlong. And he was into it. Is this a breakthrough?

History

2008-03-07T14:22:00.000-05:00

History

So. Onceuponatime I wrote about phone sexin’ on another blog that was read by a limited circle of people. When I decided to broaden my potential readership by starting up a blogspot blog specifically for phone sex writing, I cut off the majority of who I am from my new readership, which is weird. I don’t blog about other areas of my life here, and won’t, but its starting to weird me out what one-dimentional, contextless venting this blog is. I’ve written about some things enough times that it feels like I should never type of them again, but you all dont know me, probably haven’t read it before (unless maybe you’ve dealved deep into the past entries, even thrn I’m not sure,) and so...

allow me to reintroduce myself.

I started doing phone sex years ago. Quite a lot of years ago. The majority of my adult life years ago. Full time for a number of years, now very part time on top of a couple other part time jobs. I started doing phone sex in large part out of shyness, as a way to make a living that seemed less awful than other things I’d tried that seemed workable with my particular brand of social anxiety. And it was creative, allowed me to re-engage my inner-actress left dormannt since I decided drama club was lame in 9th grade. After years of pouring my heart into school plays and dreaming of Oscars. What a mistake that was. “Cool”. lonely and depressed as opposed to dorky and engaged, great trade off.

Digress.

Also, I found sex interesting. I found psychology interesting. I’m phobic of 9 to 5s. I wasn’t getting anything I applied for. Etc.

I felt proud when I passed the audtion and was hired.

I don’t hate it as much as probably comes across in this blog, which is mostly venting. Mostly its mundane and i’m disengaged and working on other shit. That’s one of teh reason I keep this gig--I can work on other shit while I’m doing it.

Sometimes I like it. I like the transexual woman who calls me with preganancy fantasies--she’s nice and polite and seems to be having a good time and her fantasies are not upsetting to me. I like some of my other regulars. It would be a good gig, were it not for the fact that so many people who call are abusive, ashamed, treat masturbation like a remedy for a crisis in their pants--no joy, a lot of hate for themselves and for me. Not fun.

Like all forms of sex work, it would be a better gig if we could get some industry standards that met the needs of the workers. I like the majority of people I deal with who are above me at the company I work for. Some of them have had my back in a number of ways over the years, and there are a number of reasons for which I am grateful. That said, the company (and almost all other phone sex companies) are set up to screw the worker in a number of ways that should be addressed--and not just the fact that we’re not seeing almost any of the exorbidant fees and rates the callers get so snippy at us about. We’re not given the support or training neccesary to deal with the range of people and the range of problems that we are paid to entertain. We are given a bottom line that the customer is right unless he breaks one of the company ass-protecting rules. We are trained to smooth over, keep a smiling face, and make the customer happy while keeping them on the phone as long as possible, whether they treat us like we’re shit, are overtly racist, engaging in dangerous behavior, telling us that they are going to kill themselves, confessing in a manner that seems plausible that they raped they daughter, say they’re fucking a dog *which we can actually hear screaming* while talking to us...you can’t just brief someone on fetishes, give them some pornos for inspiration and say “go” and expect them to deal with that without developing issues. We’re told to remember that the caller isn’t talking to us, but to the character we play. Not good enough. is it any wonder that we begin to dehumaize our callers in defense?

There are ways this could be an okay gig, and I hope sex work organizing will bring us to a day where it is. At this point I’ve developed my own coping mechanisms and know the game well enough that I’m ok. I fuck with the rules, refuse to do things I’m not actually allowed to refuse, playing the percentages that the caller wont call back and complain, that no one is listening and if they are after my years of loyalty I’ll get repremanded but not fired, and that at this point I’m in a better positioin, I have the privielege of risking my job for the sake of my boundaries. I’ll keep this up til I dopn’t actually need the extra, flex-hours income, til i’m the next Diablo Cody. Except, of course, that I started blogging as a way to cope with sex work, I didn’t start sex working as a way to cope with my empty blog.

Just FYI

2008-02-08T11:08:00.000-05:00

When speaking of anatomical matters you would be speaking of a/the/your/etc "clit".

Not "click".

Thx.

don't mess with meth!

2008-01-28T14:50:00.001-05:00

Matt the meth freak REALLY needs to stop calling me.

I hung up on him earlier cuz he put me on hold. I knew he would come back, but after a minute of "hello hello?"s, I also knew my ass was covered. We're not supposed to stay on the line forever if someone puts us on hold.

He just called me back!

Why does want to talk to me all the time?

He still mumbles. I cannot make out 1/10th of what he says. 25% of it is randomly abusive anyway. 70% is aggro and unclear directions. His fantasy for the past few years (yes, years,) that he always wants to roleplay is that I'm his girlfriend and he calls me up and I mostly ignore him while some other guy that I won't admit is there eats me out and maybe does other things, it's not very clear. In large part because he cannot enunciate for shit. 5% is misc. Anyway, it is VERY HARD to "convincingly" roleplay a scene when you are CONSTANTLY have directions mumble-yelled at you! He always has urgent opinions and inconsistent on my pitch, tone, what exactly I should say, how hard I should be breathing, what kind of rhythm my breathing should take, whether to ignore him or not, etc.

I have told him to chill out so many times. Calm down matty, relax, enjoy the show, whack off, I promise you'll enjoy yourself more.

He's very stressful!

And I know for a fact that he calls on scammed credit cards!

Why don't they arrest him already? Instead of locking up every single rapper in the country...try arresting a white dude for a change! And yes I know he's white (unless he's lying, which in this case I doubt,) its come up in conversations in which he went off on outta nowhere racist tirades. He's also a homophobe! Years ago when he first talked to me about how he was on meth and "tweaking" I tried to talk to him about the David Silver meth addiction plot line on 90210 and he got all offended at being compared to "that fag"! Asshole!

[EDIT:] OMG, he just called me a THIRD time--this time he requested me (which, for those of you not up to speed, means he spoke to an operator and asked her to connect him to me) rather than just choosing my sample from the menu--and then he hung up after 1 minute so I didn't even get my extra $2! Bah!

Bah

2008-01-23T13:16:00.000-05:00

Dude who just called me on the dom line repeatedly insisted that yes, he did want to learn about domination, yes, he did want to be trained, despite my giving him every out and making it clear that we could go vanilla, despite my need to diabuse him of the notion that my dominating him did not mean "[I] please [him]", despite his exasperation every time I corrected him, finally he beeped the phone and I good-naturedly laughed and said that him doing that was not a part of our training and he said "you're just being a bitch is all you're doing." and hung up. Guess he showed me!

I wanted off the call anyway.

What is wrong with people.

Water off a duck's back. That's my mantra. Water off a duck's back.

Let's make something with the cilantro I got yesterday and some black beans...

I'm going to fucking I DONT KNOW WHAT

2008-01-17T16:16:00.000-05:00

WHY DO THESE MOTHERFUCKERS WHO WANNNA BE "GENTLE" AND "TEASE" AND "TAKE {THEIR} TIME" ALWAYS CALL 2 MINUTES BEFORE THE END OF MY SHIFT???

This same shit happened yesterday, and he like, didn't GET it when I said I had to go.

"where?"

"I have a date"

In reality I had to go TO MY OTHER JOB.

But I'm not a person.

GET OFF THE PHONE MOTHERFUCKER.

SAVE THE BULLSHIT.

"you know whats so great about fucking you in the ass? That it TAKES SO LONG TO GET IT IN."

ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?

SHUT UP. JACK OFF. HANG UP.

GO.

I HAVE A LIFE OUTSIDE OF YOUR MOTHERFUCKING STUPID FANTASY.

Teh guy last night, like, would not get off the phone. finally he came, much to his surprise as he usually "can't come quick". I kept being like "I'm really sorry, but I actually have to be somewhere". I'm not supposed to hang up on them.

This guy will be the death of me.

Usually they either get off or hang up cuz I'm pressuring them, too much.

I don't want to contribute to anyones issues.

But I have to be able to leave work at the end of my shift.

I HIT THE PHONE against the (cushioned) seat of the chair next to me before I answered it.

I yelled.

My neighbors must think I'm crazy.

"I DON'T WANT TO TALK TO YOU!!!!!"

RAGE!

thank god. he came. he's gone. i can get ready, go meet a friend to pick up some video footage before her train, get to w'burg in time to grab a falafel before the show.

calm.

breathe.

The "Fuck Word"

2008-01-17T14:53:00.000-05:00

You haven't lived until "Hot Cock Sam" tries unsuccessfully to disconnect from you for a full minute. Pressing buttons. Waiting. Pressing more. While you hum. And occasionally query "Oh hot cock Sam? Hot cock Sa-am?" And all this rejection based on your clarification that I don't just "suck" pussy when you go down on a girl after being asked if I like to "suck pussy" as well as cock

Eventually he asks, all friendly-like, how to get to another girl. I break the rule and say that you can't--then back track that I don't know how to. Given that I don't call the number he called.

So he deigns to talk to me again. He described his cock THREE TIMES as a "hot 7 inch white chubby cock" which is a fucking repulsive way to advertise your sexual organs, should you ask me.

"Do you like it up the ass"

"I like it up the ass with a guy who knows how to do it, hot cock Sam"

"If I tell you how I'd fuck your ass will you finger your pussy?

"Yes, and I'll see if I have anything to add"

[stupid ignorant description of how he's initiate anal sex]

"Actually, hot cock sam, you'd have to give me a rim job first..."

"...and then I'd push it in your ass..."

I gave up. Fuck me, hot cock Sam. Fuck me and get off the fucking phone so I can make pancakes.

"I like it when women use the 'fuck word"

"Fucking fuck me hot cock sam in my fucking pussy fuck"

"ooh! I can tell you're good at using the 'fuck word"

"Fucking fuck me fuck"

etc

Gone now. Thank god.