Rediscovering my insanity

Me vs Devil

2017-12-20T21:18:00.000-08:00

I went against all my demons
believing I was invincible when alone
I saw those demons rising as the Devil
and I had my invincibility no more

I fell to my knees as I met my fear
Such a fear my throat was stuck
Such a fear my eyes wouldn't blink
Such a fear that I gave up. Nearly!

But then a scream rang out loud and clear
I saw it turn and run. Run like a man possessed
Confused, Relieved, Alive I looked back
And I saw an army that scared the Devil itself

Some had clenched fist, some were brandishing swords
Some were just holding placards, on them the right words
I know I am invincible now for I have these fools as my friends
And I know I was a fool then for believing I could ever be alone

A letter to a Romantic in doubt

2017-12-16T03:23:00.001-08:00

Hey Beautiful! How is it going? I got the feeling that you were losing your belief in me. So here am I.

Whaaat? Who am I? Silly, I know I am the one you keep thinking about. I am the one who keeps thinking about you. I am THE ONE! For you.

Have me met? I am not sure. And I don't even know when we will meet. But meet WE WILL.

After all the Universe is playing our cupid. Yes! It is taking its own time. But that is because we are its favourite. And it wants our love to be perfect. It wants us to be perfect.

Till then we have our own journeys to live. So go and meet people. Have some heartbreaks. Feel the hurt. But do not think you are flawed. You are wonderful. And even if you do not feel it yet, you are getting better. With every single experience. The longing, the pain, the joy. All of this is turning you into someone perfect. Perfect for Me. So do not quit on me. Remember I am on my way. And I am not quitting.

To tell you the truth, I am under the same pressure as well. Everyone wants me to find someone. Fast. They are tired of our waiting. So for their ears I tell them - I want to live my life alone. And while they are busy shaking their heads on this, I add a whisper - Till I meet you.

So today lets promise each other. We will not give up on Love. No matter what the world says. No matter how many times we get fooled into believing that we met and lost. No matter if we have to fight against the world, the time or even us. We are meant to be. So we will be. FOREVER!

Yours-in-waiting
A Hopeless Romantic

17th September 2001

2017-12-15T01:58:00.001-08:00

There were 1842 fatalities in 2001 in Delhi due to road accidents. Just like any other kid in school this figure would have disturbed me had it not been for the bell that rang on 17^th December. We were not expecting anyone as dad was supposed to be at some computer course. So when three ladies from our society told us that there had been an accident just outside the gate in which someone had been injured and taken to hospital, I came along with them to identify scooter but did not believe the injured one would be my dad.

When I saw the familiar helmet lying in the middle of the road I still controlled myself thinking it would be a minor accident. When I saw him, Papa’s head was covered in bandages. He was in a drowsy state due to medicines and his left eye was not opening. I asked the doctor if his eye would be fine but he did not know. He referred him to R&R hospital and we went along where I saw a paramedic slapping my dad to keep him awake. My dad was not feeling the pain of those slaps but I was. We reached the hospital where the nurses and doctors got busy with the case. When we heard the nurses tell us that nothing could be confirmed till the head injury was investigated and the doctors kept avoiding us, that is when I and my mom started feeling the gravity of the situation. Somehow his Air Force mates got the news and reached there and one of my mausi was called. The next 4 days I cried. I prayed. I forgot my reason for being an atheist. I just wanted him to be back. Everyone had started coming to meet us and talking about how well he cared for people who worked with him and how he had helped out his relatives were just words to me then. I was recording them in my head but not really listening at that time. My chachas from Punjab and mamas from Norway started trickling in as his organs started giving in slowly. By the 6^th day the doctor told us that he was going to remain in a vegetative state even if he recovered. That was when I went to him and asked him to quit if he wanted to. When on the 7^th day I was not taken to the hospital I knew inspite of the assurances that it had happened. Those numbers had turned into a person. I wanted to die but 2 hours after that when my chacha banged his fist on a door, I jumped and went to him and comforted him. That is when I realized nothing is permanent and a human can overcome anything. I had become an observer rather than a participant. I realized how everyone did not know what to say to us and I just hugged them all whenever the words became difficult for them. Soon the talk turned to revenge and my relatives wanted to ensure a foolproof case against the hit and run driver. I did not think that was going to help our family and would only destroy his. That was not my father. That was not me. We still do not know about that case. I reverted back to atheism looking at things from a practical point of view and we started healing very slowly. In a month I did not want the condolences but I remembered the words about how my father had lived his life as an example helping others and loving his work, I knew I wanted to be him. I realized the emotions are temporary but the feelings are forever. You are going to die one day. Your ego might try to stop you from connecting with a person, but it will not provide the comfort when you miss that last hug. And when you help someone without any expectations, it never goes waste. Cherish your life and do not worry about the future which may or may not exist.

Gestures

2017-12-08T14:25:00.000-08:00

1. The Jacket
It is a beautiful night and they are walking on a lonely stretch. Suddenly a chilly wind breezes past them. She shivers and hugs herself. He sees this and starts taking off his jacket. She frowns and shakes her head. He is confused. She points a finger at him and then points her palms upwards gesturing What about you. His eyes twinkle as he takes out his left arm from the jacket and offers the empty arm. She smiles and puts it on. Snuggling into the jacket, her right hand finds his left and presses it gently. They both look at each other wondering how they found each other.

2. The Car
They have been driving for quite some time without knowing where they are heading. He catches her staring at him. He looks at her and his eyebrow jumps up in a gesture saying What. Her reverie is broken and a beautiful smile forms on her lips that finds its way into her eyes. She shakes her head and closes her eyes. The smile now has jumped into his eyes as well. He loves being in her thoughts.

3. The horror movie
They are covered in a single blanket and a horror movie is on. The suspense is building up and the ghost is about to make an appearance when she picks up her cellphone and starts looking at its screen. The light from the mobile screen disturbs him. He stretches his arm and pulls her in. She looks up. He smiles and blinks his understanding. She drops her mobile and rests her head on his shoulders. She is looking at the TV screen smiling at the fearsome ghost. Horror cannot reach her now. She is safe in his arms.

I do not know myself

2017-12-08T08:26:00.001-08:00

I am a pretty simple book to read. Everyone knows me and can predict what I will order to eat and which movie I will not accept to watch. So it will come as a sort of shock when I say that noone including myself knows me.

The anomaly here is that I have 2 life modes. The first one is the automatic mode where I do and say what I am supposed to. This is not me being fake but it is simply my muscle memory taking over. This mode is on when I do not feel safe enough to remove my shields, which is to say all the time. The other mode is the one where I allow my emotions a vent. This makes me moody and introspective. This mode switches on very occasionally and depends on the support group around me.

I remember going through most of my college life in the 1st mode. However by the end of it, I had made some amazing friends with whom I felt safe enough to discuss even my incoherent thoughts. And they knew me well enough to support and even share my eccentricities. Obviously not all friends are equal. So I became a recluse in group gatherings and a totally different person during my one on ones. These one on ones helped me know my real self and be in sync with my emotions. I relished these conversations and the vulnerability they effected. I loved the mixture of joy and pain they caused. So I was unafraid to demand these one on ones.

Cut to a decade later. I have not seen that vulnerable side of me for quite some time. This has to do with not having enough chances to get involved in a heart to heart talks. So I do not know now how the last decade has changed the emotional side of me. The vents are not present now. The only options available are the blank pages. I am finding it tough to know what I really want. The pages are not as effective as a person but still the clouds are lifting slowly. I have been having times when I am full of ecstasy while at other times I have been feeling so low that I have lied on bed for hours feeling the hurt. The effects of this is being borne by my family. We are discussing and trying to come to an understanding about the place of their expectations and wishes in my life. The process is hard but atleast a dialog has begun.

When to tell?

2017-12-06T21:27:00.001-08:00

Whenever you make a new friend or find a new path or accomplish some life goal you feel really good about yourself. There is an overpowering and overwhelming sensation inside. And you know the reason sometimes. At other times that reason is not so forthcoming. And you need to know the reason to replicate this feeling. So you try sharing this feeling with someone to understand it. Many a times, along the way the timeline gets distorted and the someone becomes the reason you for that feeling. Voila! You are in love. Or atleast you think you are.
Once you feel you are in love, you find signs in things that were commonplace earlier forgetting that the person likes to give special attention to his/her friends or, if that person has a heart of gold, even to strangers. My friend, this is you being blind sighted. You keep piling on your emotions based on non-existing hints and start taking out loans to build your very own fantasy world. You know your special someone might be in love with this real world. But then who cares? Or on the other hand, you do not give yourself enough time and decide to act on your fleeting feeling. The other person accepts and it is magic for some time. But soon that feeling decides to excuse itself from your relationship and you realize you were never ready. This breaks a heart and probably a friendship if on of you two are not strong enough to stay friends after all this.
My point is before you decide to dive into love - heart, body and soul - try to listen to your intuition. Understand your emotions. Check if you are ready. Put on your thinking cap. But do not overthink so much that you have built a pool on the roof of for your fantasy palace only to have it come crashing down and burying you under it upon rejection.
So how do you know when is the right time? When is it that you have thought about it long enough to express your love? That my friend is something I could never figure out. So I decided to dust off the palace debris, suture up my wounds and start feeling good without needing to project my feelings onto someone else.

Conversations

2017-12-05T10:50:00.000-08:00

Yes! I am a silent person. That does not mean I hate conversations. Infact I love the real ones but I am afraid of starting those. And this is not without a reason. I have tried many times only to learn that people are in a hurry to get to a destination and the conversation to them is just an activity to while away their time. And I am not looking for those chit chats.
If I start a conversation with you, know that I am opening my heart to you. And it is not a party with loud music. It is a long walk in the forest contemplating topics like life, space, love and time. The forest is safe(after all I created it), the time is aplenty(there is no destination) and the sounds are mesmerising(background score by Nature).
Once you are here and comfortable tell me what you are thinking with passion and I promise to give you my full attention and listen. And I will try my best to understand. When I speak, you may listen as well or not. And in between, lets listen to the beautiful silence. Do not try to fill it up with awkward words. If you do, the place vanishes, the spell is broken and I am silent again.

MASKS

2016-04-06T02:57:00.001-07:00

For most of our lives, we wear masks. Fearing the person beneath the mask. Not wanting to show our real faces. Not knowing if someone can accept us without it. Not knowing whether even we can accept ourselves without masks

These masks are sometimes our pretentious clothes, sometimes our university degrees, sometimes even our hobbies. We play sports because we like emulating the sportsmen. We identify with music sometimes coz its simply not so simple.

We connect with people who like our masks and we like theirs. But sometimes there comes a moment when that mask cracks a bit from someone’s face. Everyone around that broken mask feel something changing. Something that is not part of our world. And hence we take it upon ourselves to rebuild that mask or if that does not happen, we show the broken person the various other masks that suit him.

And then sometimes we feel our masks cracking. We start feeling a void inside. We start falling down. The air attacking our face is so violent that we refuse to realize what is befalling us. We seek to find some object to break that fall. We look longingly and fearfully towards the edge where we stumbled from. And someone meanwhile finds the perfect fit for us. We are back to the safety of our masked world.

Why do we have within ourselves such a fascination towards these perfectly matching masks. Why cant we just recognize the beauty of that naked face. Why cant we look below during our fall to see what was it that was pulling us towards it. Why cant we just take a moment and experience the fall. Experience its full power and see if its crushing us or are we simply feeling the pressure of chains releasing their hold upon us. Stop gasping for that familiar world, try breathing here. Take this new world inside you and feel what freedom seems like. Feel free to see what we really are. Take up this opportunity to have that chanceless encounter with your own naked soul.

Importance of building teams

2016-01-14T09:46:00.001-08:00

Don't we all love our Sachins, Messis and Schumachers. We all love celebrating their triumphs and records. Ask an Indian and he would tell you that a Sachin's century gave more joy to him than an Indian win. So does this mean that an individual brilliance is bigger than a team's triumph?

Well! Ask this question to the man himself and he would tell you how he felt during the Chennai's heartbreaking innings. Yeah right. Heartbreak!! Any man might enjoy his praises but satisfaction and happiness comes only when he wins. And he wins when his team succeeds. FULL STOP. So how do you define success?

Success, I believe is not a point, not a destination. Its the whole journey. And who likes to travel alone? Well some do but its an altogether a different and enriching experience when you have your best mates with you. And those are your best mates not because they are the strongest individuals but because they have been with you experiencing everything you have felt- your joys as well as your pains. They are your support structure. That is your own team. Your life team. Can you imagine your life braving all those obstacles without them, all alone. I don't know about you but I simply cant.

Taking this philosophy further, you can think of your organization and your own team that way. You alone are not going to conquer the Everest. It is your team that has to. Reaching alone at the top of the summit doesn't make you a winner. It makes you just a loner. To win, you have to share responsibilities, believe in your team mates(and make them believe too) and take everyone along at the same pace. You have to do not what you want to but what is needed.

Sometimes that means you have to curb your instincts and labor alongwith your whole team to reach your destination. Again Sachin's painstaking double is an apt example where he shunned his favorite cover drive and accumulated ugly singles and helped India break invincible Australia's confidence in their own backyard. Sometimes Team needs you to stay in background and sometimes it needs you to lead by example. Again Sachin's whirlwind 143 and then 134 helped India overcome Aussies in 1997. Those 2 innings alone might have led to many youngsters believing in themselves.

Being part of many teams during my short stint on this planet, I know that sometimes gives you lemons and sometimes mangoes. And it all never matters. If you have a team that faces all that with you, the defeats are as glorious as victories. Wishing you, nope.. Wishing your Team all the best.

ON THIS EARTH WHY I?

2014-03-12T12:25:00.001-07:00

ON THIS EARTH WHY I?

These words made me sigh

For I did always wonder

If I was a boon or a blunder

What's the purpose of this life

To settle down with a lovely wife

Or get those high profile jobs

Or meet those worth-for-nothing snobs

Or make a dreamhouse at a lovely place

Or go on that wild goose chase

Or buy that splendid sporty beast

But truly these things interest me the least

So why do something you don't like

And let your inner self go on a strike

Why live a life which has no use

This is a question over which we need to muse

So let's do some serious thinking

Aha! I can see your mind blinking

If you have a dream, go for it

Thinking about others, don't hesitate a bit.

It's your dream. So, you have to achieve

You can do it only if you believe

The first step, you'll have to take

I know it won't be a piece of cake

Alone, you may start to feel hollow

But have belief and others would follow

This is your world, only you can change

And no. Don't start thinking about your range

What's the limit, we'll define

The whole world, we would refine

Ideas-new and original, this world does need

Doesn't matter which race, cast or creed

So start thinking. Don't stand still

Together we can. Together we will

Another rhyme from a bygone era but the thoughts are still the same :)

SMILE

2014-03-10T12:51:00.000-07:00

Finally found poems from pre college era ;) Here's the 1st one:

SMILE

If everything was to be lost

If nothing could be saved at any cost

If nothing was going to last

If everything was to become past

And I was given a choice

To keep what I would forever rejoice

I would ask for a SMILE

Even if it was only for a while

For nothing could be as pure

For nothing could be as sure

For it’s the humanity’s soul

For it can capture emotions all

Alas! Today smile is seen as a pang

A group of smilers is seen as a criminal gang

If the smilers are of opposite gender

Smile is seen as an invitation by sender

If a weak smiles in front of strong

It is considered as something hugely wrong

If the strong returns the smile back

It’s considered that self respect he does lack

Children are thought to be thinking evil

And smile is seen as an assurance “we will”

Smile is thought of as a tool for the weak

Or as a sign of someone planning something freak.

But we have to change our thinking

As in quick sand our brains are sinking

We need to see the smile as a way of greeting

And not as a sign of cheating

Smile is the best expression known to mankind

It can be used by all including deaf and blind

One smile can make many’s day

And for it, nothing we have to pay

Smile is a way to make everyone feel good

It’s a sign of humanity and brotherhood

So please “SMILE, SMILE, SMILE”

For those would be the moments spent worthwhile

TIME TO GO

2013-03-13T23:10:00.002-07:00

When its time to go

Yes! Its time to go.

You thank the people behind
You say whats on your mind
Thats what you gotta do
Its time to say whats true
When its time to go
Yes! Its time to go.

You did things you didnt like

That time you didnt have the mike

Now its time to come out of cave

Its the time to be brave

When its time to go

Yes! its time to go

You did what you thought was right
Even if you had to fight
Its time to think out loud
Its the time to be proud
When its time to go
Yes! its time to go

There wont be anyone like you

That everyone knows too

But they can take the lessons learnt

Help them avoid the bridges brunt

When its time to go

Yes! its time to go

Tears will escape the eyes
Its hard to say goodbyes
But you gotta do it with a smile
Oh yes you can take a while
When its time to go
Yes! its time to go

Yes the life will be new

Not the one in which you grew

But its just a change my dear

Its not the time to fear

When its time to go

Yes! its time to go

Friends will not leave you alone

It aint like all the love's gone

But it wont be the same

Noone's fault that the time came

When its time to go

Yes! its time to go

Everyone wants you to stay

And you might think you may

This will always be a lure

You can never be sure

When its time to go

Yes! its time to go

Oh yeah you can let out a sigh

But do it with your head held high

Find the joy in your heart

Something new is gonna start

When its time to go

Yes! its time to go

ITS FUNNY!

2012-12-20T20:39:00.000-08:00

No I am not an insensitive person. But its funny! People all around me were participating in some march or the other but I dint feel like joining any coz I thought it was funny. Its funny how people are signing and spreading some online petition for death penalty. Its funny how people are holding candle light march. Its funny how people are changing their profile pics. Its funny how some women are putting status villifying each and every man for all men want to rape even if they dont try to. Its funny how men are expressing disgust and anger in their discussions. Its funny coz people just found something to take their anger and frustration out on something. Yeah its funny! Its funny coz I know where this is going to end up in a week. And I dont find that funny.

There was a time when I would be the 1st one to encourage candle light march. I was there last year in Anna's protest. And what did it come to? But then same things created some change in Middle East. So why not here? You want the answer. Then look carefully. The difference was in the intensity. The difference was in clarity. Those people were united and had simple aim for which they were willing to lay down their lives. Thats protest. Not what we are holding here when we get free time and a few friends to tag along. Thats what is funny here. Tell me people what are you asking for? Capital Punishment?I have 2 arguments against it:
1: Murder has the same penalty. So why wont the rapist just kill the girl to eliminate the eyewitness?
2: You think death is a punishment anyone would fear?

For all the supporters on social networking sites, this is an awesome tool. Use it to publicize things that needs publicity. This case is already screaming our brains out in media. And thinking about it, why is this case so horrifying? Didnt you know this was happening? Stop being the media puppets. Come to reality. And do something that actually helps. Anytime you see a girl in danger, help her. Dont be a coward then. Dont wait for someone else to act. Dont think you might die. If you aint doing something then, you are already dead.

And well.. My female acquaintances.. Acquaintances coz who know me would never say that. They will anyday be there alone with me in any vulnerable state knowing that they are SAFE. And I am not alone. There are surely many more like me. So please stop being funny. I am angry at the case but you are making me angrier. I am not ashamed of my gender. I am not going to apologize for something that some men did. Dont make it you vs us. Be human. Trust us. There are still real MEN among you.

And my male friends.. Wont you just kill those bastards if they were next to you? Now thats funny. Funny coz when you or your friends check out girls, its not a big deal. When you pass remarks, its not a big deal. And when one of your friends tells you how he's cheating on his n number of girlfriends, you call him your GURU. And then he goes onto being macho in front of you by making a girl uncomfortable, then you realize the monster you created but still compliment him coz otherwise its against bro code. And then you come and say that your blood is boiling due to such incidents. STAND up before its too late. Slap your GURU then and there. If you cant do that, walk away showing your condemnation. And understand this. The women out there dont need your chivalry. They dont need you to offer them your seats. They just need to be treated equally. They are not objects to be used. Neither are they goddesses to be worshipped. They are EQUALS. Unless this is understood, society is not going to improve. Rapes are not going to be stopped.

And before ending let me tell you: I am angry, exasperated but I am not giving up on myself or others. I still believe we can change but it has to be subtle. Stop appreciating things that need to be condemned. Stop making RAPE jokes. Stop taking advantage of someone's vulnerability. And stop thinking ITS FUNNY.

WHY??

2012-09-05T11:00:00.001-07:00

Why would you drown when you can swim that extra mile
Why would you frown when you can smile that lovely smile
Why should you quit when you can still put up a fight
Why should you give up when you know you are right

Even if you think everything is going all wrong
It just means you 've to be a bit more strong
Maybe the success is waiting for you at your doorstep
It just needs you to take one more final step

And if you think you can't do this on your own
You need to realize I'll never leave you alone
If you cant find me anywhere near
That is because I've no fear

It is because I've so much faith in you
I know you can handle it all without my help too
And if you need some help you know whom to call
I promise you that I'll be there to break your fall

ME

2012-09-02T06:31:00.002-07:00

I feel at peace
when I'm confused.
I feel accepted
when I'm refused.

I feel a joy
when I'm rejected.
I feel so happy
when I'm dejected.

Whenever I find ways to win
I try finding other ways to lose.
Whenever I find the right path
I try finding other paths to choose.

My character is simple
yet so complex to decode.
My voice is so clear
yet so difficult to record.

I like to do things
that one should really fear.
I'm a person of logic
though my reasons seem so unclear.

I play game as its life
and live life as its a game
For me there is no difference
To me they are one and the same.

I sometimes hate the joy
and love most the pain.
It may be hard to believe
but I'm pretty sane.

Whether you like it or not
please let me just be
Don't ask me to change
Let it be the real me.

A PROPOSAL

2012-08-31T10:01:00.002-07:00

I've waited for none,
always walked alone.
To whom I'm known,
say my heart's a stone.

But something's changed,
and the change is in me.
You've become someone,
without whom I just can't be.

You are so far,

yet feel so near.

Don't want to cry,

But can't stop that tear.

Want to reach out,

and be so close.

That nose meets nose,

and toes touch toes.

Holding your hands,
closing my eyes.
I'm walking with you,
fearing goodbyes.

Time has come,
for you to leave.
Its just so hard,
I refuse to believe.

Can't we leave the world,

and become a team?

Create our own heaven,

and live our own dream.

You accept my love,

and be partner for life.

I'll be forever yours,

will you be my wife?

I give you the time,
I give you the choice.
To break my heart,
or fill it with joys.

Nothing else to hear,
nothing else to tell.
Till you make your choice,
I wait in this hell...

A Pair of Eyes

2012-08-24T12:10:00.000-07:00

A pair of eyes,
looking so free.
Giving a smile,
looking at me.

've not seen them before,
strangers they are.
Looking so beautiful,
each twinkling like star.
In broad daylight,
scene seems so true.
Want to befriend them,
not knowing what to do.
Magic's rising,
am losing control.
Cant stop my eyes,
let them go on a stroll.

A pair of eyes,
looking so free.
Giving a smile,
looking at me.

Returning the favor,
mine smile backs.
An empty expression,
friendship it packs.
We say nothing,
no words are spoken.
Silence stays,
its spell never broken.
Still we converse,
with blink of our eyes.
No words said,
so no truth, no lies.

A pair of eyes,
looking so free.
Giving a smile,
looking at me.

Only a few feet distance,
still seem so far away.
Too mesmerized to move,
just 've to stay.
A short journey,
breathing its last.
Those eyes are going,
its all becoming a past.
Know may never meet them,
forever they'll be gone.
'll keep looking for them,
whenever i feel lone.

A pair of eyes,
looking so free.
Giving a smile,
looking at me.

Sea

2012-08-05T08:18:00.000-07:00

This post has been published by me as a part of the Blog-a-Ton 30; the thirtieth edition of the online marathon of Bloggers; where we decide and we write. To be part of the next edition, visit and start following Blog-a-Ton.

Everyday I go to a beach
and find the sea so calm
A sight so priceless
and costs no more than an alm

How can something be so moving
and still be so picture still
It has so many stories inside
and still it finds a space to fill

Its like the children playing here
They relish each moment even when they run
Infecting everyone with their hope and energy
They look so serene even when they have fun

I look away and see a man walking
probably to find peace before the bed
But his steps are brisk as if in hurry
probably matching the thoughts in his head

I want to share my most precious thing
which I will give to you free
Its my understanding of the life
which took my life's quarters three

Do your best in whatever you do
But in the present always be
Do not run on beach like you run on life
But stop, watch and talk to the sea

The fellow Blog-a-Tonics who took part in this Blog-a-Ton and links to their respective posts can be checked here. To be part of the next edition, visit and start following Blog-a-Ton. I’m thankful to BLOGGER NAME, who introduced Blog-a-Ton to me, and I debuted in 30 edition.

Credits Image - Shades of Orange by Harsha Chittar Courtesy - Curious Dino Photography via www.blogaton.in

LIFE

2012-06-16T22:14:00.001-07:00

LIFE....
What's life?
LIFE....
Life is LOVE!
Love....
It can make you laugh,
it can make you cry.
Can make you want to live,
Can make you want to die.
It can warm your heart,
nothing else gives joy such.
It can break your heart,
nothing else hurts so much.
You can't run,
neither can you hide.
So don't fear love,
let it win over your pride.

LIFE....
What's life?
LIFE....
Life is IMAGINATION!
Imagination....
When you are thinking so hard,
your eyes are gazing so deep.
Or when they are closed,
and you are fast asleep.
Everyone may leave,
Imagination never leaves you lone.
It may be in form of your dreams,
or as thoughts that just linger on.
Let it expand,
don't hold it tight.
Imagination likes to fly,
don't stop its flight.

LIFE....
What's life?
LIFE....
Life is FRIENDS!
Friends....
Give you hope,
and take your pain.
Can't hide your tears from them,
you may try in vain.
Your loss is their loss,
your win is their win.
They stand beside you always,
through all your deeds and sin.
These are the people,
whom you yourself choose.
So better keep them close,
they ain't the ones to lose.

LIFE....
What's life?
LIFE....
Life is EXPRESSIONS!
Expressions....
Words can be lies,
and their meanings fake.
They can be misunderstood,
even when a lot is at stake.
Expressions are the right way,
to show everyone how you feel.
A language so pure,
and having no veil.
Laugh when you are amused,
cry when you need to grieve.
And if you want to make others happy,
don't let your smile leave.

What is LIFE?
This is the way i see.
Love Imagination Friends Expressions,
That is whats LIFE according to me.

WHY?

2012-06-16T22:07:00.004-07:00

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Why should you try so hard to fit in,
when you were born to stand out.
Why should you hide your dreams deep within
when you are supposed to let them land out.

Why should you wait for others to show you the way
when you can be the one to lead.
Why should you act like a friend to strangers everyday
when you feel there is no need.

Why should you let your voice drop
when you know you are up for the fight
why should you hold yourself back
when you know that you are right.

GIRL & BOY

2012-03-01T20:20:00.000-08:00

GIRL:

I remember the time
you used to look into my eyes.
Those moments stretched forever,
it all felt so nice.

Whenever my mood was off,
you always tried to make it fine.
The smile you held on your face
always found its way to mine.

Whenever you were in front of me,
my heart used to beat so fast.
It seemed like i would die of it
but i wanted this attack to last.

I always used to think
that we both felt the way same.
Kept waiting for those 3 words,
but they never ever came.

But then one day you told me
that you had fallen in love.
I could not stand my ground
thinking I was your dove.

I lost all control over my heart and my eyes,
told you to stop to catch my breath.
But then you took someone else's name,
it all felt like the grip of death.

I'll always love you forever,
'll not let our relation ever end.
If i can't be your love,
i'll always remain your true friend

BOY:

I remember the moments
when we were so near.
Every day, every hour,
every moment was so dear.

We kept staring in each other's eyes
and there used to be no blinks.
We didn't like to use the words,
silently we talked through the winks.

I remember the time
when we used to walk together.
I felt no ground 'neath my feet,
used to float on clouds rather.

I'm so sorry girl,
I never heard the words in your voice.
I used to hear the songs not there,
am sorry girl but i had no choice.

I loved you so much,
and thought you did too.
I know now it was just a foggy illusion,
but then it all seemed so rosy and true.

And one day i told you i was in love,
but with tears in your eyes you said stop.
Can never see you crying,
another name was my only hope.

I then knew we could only be friends
and from my dream i was woken.
I knew those 3 words can never be spoken
or two hearts would forever be broken.

I won't say anything now,
i know this is the way it's supposed to end.
Trying to win you as my love
i can't forever lose a true friend.

I wanna be a child again

2012-02-21T08:44:00.000-08:00

I wanna be a child again
I wanna be so wild again

What that innocent child thinks
Those lovely smiles, those soothing winks

Is out of the cruel world's realms
Spreading his innocent charms

Knows no cheat, knows no lie
His laugh's true and so's the cry

Sees a stranger and waves a hey
Sees a plane and waves it goodbye

Sees a bird and wants to fly
Runs on ground but feels the sky

Plays a game and enjoys it all
Loves to dive and loves to fall

Hears the same stories again and again
But still he loves them all the same

Sings like no one's near
But wants everyone to hear

Dances like there's no one to see
Dances so wild, dances so free

Warn him and still he dares
About the result who cares

Knows how to enjoy moment each
How to live, he can teach

Learns from defeats, loves victories
Some sweet and some sweeter memories

So why grow up and be a man
I'll remain a child till i can

I wanna be a child again
I wanna be so wild again

FRIENDS FOREVER??

2012-02-21T08:36:00.000-08:00

When I shared it all with you
I had laid open my heart
I knew I was risking an end of something great
But for something better which might start

On one side was a friend
whom I never wanted to lose
On other was my love
that I wanted to choose

Fear, anxiety, hope- I was feeling it all
Though I knew I was going to lose this game
But if later I realized we stood a chance
I knew it too I couldnt bear that blame

When you confirmed your NO
I wont say I dint feel any pain
But still I felt a load off my chest
That confession dint go in vain

I thought that together we would dream
And that dream would come true
I know that I still am someone’s dream
Its just that THAT someone might not be you

I knew I could ve tried a lot more
To change your mind, gone to any length
But that would only ve made me weaker
And love is supposed to be your strength

I had imagined the trips, the walks and the adventures
The love that would make you and me- WE
But more than in all those sweet nothings
That love I want actually lives in me

That feeling I had is still somewhere in me
But I promise I would never try to find
Relinquishing the only key to you for keeps
I would lock it up in darkness somewhere in my mind

I now know I was so wrong to doubt your trust
When I thought you 'll leave, you firmly stood near
I thought our friendship would suffer a severe blow
But you, oh so tranquilly, allayed all my fear

The relation we had was always special to me
But now you truly are an invaluable friend
I just hope you remain beside me forever
And never ever let this come to an end

FRIENDS FOREVER??

Missing Friends

2012-02-21T08:33:00.001-08:00

Its days like these
When I remember those times
The crazy things that we did
All ya my partners in crimes.

I remember going out for movies
And asking you not to be too loud
I used to hate missing the dialogues
And even more disturbing the crowd.

Even now I go to watch those movies
And those dialogues are so clear
But something bigger seems amiss
Those questions now is what I want to hear.

I remember taking the first row seats
So I could stretch as if in my bed
And finding the movies boring
I could just lie down and drop dead.

Now I buy the gold tickets
Its not as if it was some pretense
But I cant be that child now
Without you it just makes no sense.

Sitting now on a comfy chair
Having in my wallet my own card
I remember how we cursed our miseries
Sitting on that wooden chair so hard.

Watching the watches twice a second
Ignoring those lectures so bore
What I wont give right now
To attend one just once more.

I know we all still are connected
But still its not how I liked it to be
I know you are just one call away
But I wish each one of you alongside me.

I make the trip plans to fill that void
But your schedules now make me fear
Taken for granted was our policy then
But now that seems no longer so clear.

I don’t know why I am saying this
Maybe I am missing that heaven
Or maybe I ve too much time on my hands
Waiting for my movie at eleven

WHY do you need THE ONE?

2012-02-21T08:29:00.000-08:00

After the previous blog, I had a discussion with another of my friends and his question was Why do you need THE ONE? Are you getting desperate? My reply was that it was only an answer to the question formed by the environment around me. But then there's no incident that happen by itself. There's always a thinking behind it. Maybe, just maybe, the society reiterating its point again and again of necessity of marriage made a small puncture through my defenses. And thanks to my friend, am back to square one.

Why do we need THE ONE? If you can be in love with yourself whole your life, if you can be independent enough to do whatever you like to, why is there a need for any other person. This need arises when you start feeling alone with yourself. You stop feeling good about yourself and need an external source to reaffirm your belief that you are a good person and are enjoying your life.
Now that thought is laughable. How does one lose his self belief to such an extent that he requires an external approval? The society for some reason relishes feeding on it. They find an extravaganza to feast on. A topic to discuss. An experiment to conduct. And if someone is not willing to volunteer as a lab rat, they try to reach him through so many avenues to just shake his belief. Logic is what we need to debate on. Take logic out of a conversation and the majority's point is the clear winner, it doesnt matter how that majority opinion got formed and how stable is the individual's, comprising that society, belief in it.

Now before anyone jumps to the conclusion that I am against the institution of marriage, I would like to clarify that I am a firm believer of love. Any willing union of two people based upon their own stable, independent and mature choices without any external influence is what I call love and marriage is their declaration to the world. But is it stable if the individuals dont understand each other? Is it independent if the society forcefully keeps impressing the fact that one has to marry to enjoy life to the fullest? Is it mature if the involved persons dont love themselves enough to not fear the thought of living alone?