Ewe Paik Leong, The Wordslinger

Girl molested and Singaporean men said she deserved it!

2010-01-05T05:38:00.001-08:00

Public apathy towards crime is really disgusting. It is understandable if one does not want to get involved because the situation is life-threatening. However, if helping a victim does not endanger one's life, it is selfishness to the nth degree to just stand and watch.

As reported in a Singaporean lifestyle portal (wayangtimes.com), a girl was partying at Siloso Beach on Sentosa Island on New Year's eve. What transpired was unclear but she was molested by four Indian men in full view of the revellers. No one came to help her. Have Singaporean men lost their chivalry that they couldn't find the courage to stop the wanton act? The culprits weren't dangerous and armed, were they? The "spectators" are indirectly guilty of abetment in a crime! Someone recorded the incident on video. It was uploaded on youtube. com but later removed.

Later, "Razor TV" interviewed several people about the assault. While the women were sympathetic, most of the men commented that "she deserved it!". What a sickening attitude! Check out this link to listen to the interviewees' responses: (http://www.razor.tv/site/servlet/segment/main/90/41872.html).

Singaporean men are not only kiasu; but are also disgracefully "tham-sum pha-sei" (Cantonese phrase meaning "greedy but scared of dying") to the hilt, as indicated by this incident. [When I was working in Singapore a long time ago, I became aware of a standard joke that Singaporean men are not only kia-su [scared of losing], but also kia-bor [scared of wife] and kia-cheng-hu![scared of government])

Overall, men who adopt the "I-don't-want-to-get-involved" attitude should remember that the next victm of a rape, molest or assault could be their wife or mother or sister or female cousin or niece or daughter. Think about that.

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A sect's thrashy books on Chinese Buddhism

2009-12-30T00:33:00.000-08:00

While doing field research for an article on Chinese temples to coincide with the forthcoming Chinese-New-Year-season's Travel Times (New Straits Times), I took a tour of several major Taoist and Buddhist temples around KL. At a certain temple, I picked up a few books published by a sect of Chinese Buddhism. As a sinning mortal, whose knowledge of Buddhism is limited to knowing that its ultimate aim is ending birth and death to enter Nirvana, I had looked forward to acquiring new-found knowledge. How wrong my reading adventure turned to be.

Let me start with the 196-page The Chan Handbook (nothing to do with the Chinese surname "Chan"), which contained a short biography of the sect's founder. Born in China in 1918, he later ventured abroad, setting up monastaries in USA, Canada, Taiwan and Malaysia. The book claimed that since leaving home-life at age 19, he had never laid down to sleep -- always sitting in the lotus position for 58 years until he died at age 77. Medical science will certain dispute this is impossible due to the structure of our spine.

Again, he was glorified for having showed filial piety to his late mother by bowing to her grave three times a day for three years by living (and spending his time by meditating and studying the Buddhist scriptures) in an A-frame thatch hut next to her resting place -- even through the blistery winters, and garbed only in robes. Sure -- a fine son in the eyes of traditional Chinese culture and also a finer wastrel of life's precious time -- but, he also preached that mortals should reject all emotional attachments towards one's family -- which is a contradiction.

The Sixth Patriarch's Dharma Jewel Platform Sutra (460 pages, an English translation of a purported central Chinese Buddhist text by Master's and Ph.D holders) contained startling tales of logic-defying feats that seemed to be written by imaginative raconteurs. An example was that a "bhikshu" (monk) was able to cut off his arm with a knife without feeling any pain after having knelt down for nine years. I wonder during those nine years, did he get up to empty his bowels or to have his meals? Then there are also parables of other monks being able to talk to animals and perform other incredible stunts.

Another book, Timely Teachings (408 pages), containing the founder's lectures, recalled how his disciple made a three-step-one-bow pilgrimage from their monastery in San Francisco to Seattle -- more than 1,000 miles away. The aim? To pray for world peace. This pilgrimage was done during John F. Kennedy's missile crisis in 1962, resulting in confrontation with Russia and Cuba, and the backdrop of a burgeoning hippie sub-culture. Definitely, the ingredients in US society then were certainly ripe for such preachings and bizarre conduct to win acclaim and hero worship for the sect's founder.

Buddhism is a fine religion but just because the founder of this sect of Buddhism is Chinese, does not mean I have believe these exaggerated and oft-times incredible tales. Nevertheless, the venerable founder was certainly endowed with a sharp and intelligent mind - and the gift of the gab.

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Malaysians using internet more than Americans because of controlled media?

2009-12-28T05:00:00.000-08:00

Harakah (25-27 Disember 2009 issue) reported that Malaysians use internet facilities almost 92 percent in various aspects of their life as compared to residents in United Kingdom, 66 percent and United States, 60 percent. This was revealed by Associate Professor Dr. Abu Hassan Hasbullah (pix, courtesy of tvpas), Senior Lecturer in Universiti Malaya's Department of Media Research. Dr Hassan said this when presenting a working paper at the PAS Bloggers Convention 2009 in KL's Taman Melewar on December 20, 2009.

(According to World Bank, World Development Indicators [last updated November 20, 2009] -- that I goggled -- the internet users as a percentage of the population for Malaysia and USA in 2008 were 62.6 % and 72.4% respectively).

Dr. Hassan was quoted by Harakah as having said: "Our study found that blogs are the first and prime choice of reference for young generations aged 21 to 41 years as compared to different traditional media. This was proven in a study from February to March 2008 that showed that blog was top of the rung with 39.2 percent as compared to newspaper 14.8 percent, television 23.5 percent and other new media 26.2 percent."

When asked why Malaysia's internet usage contrasted sharply with UK and USA, Dr. Hassan said it depends on the respective democratic practices of the countries. If one country supports freedom of expression, then internet usage might be higher as compared to another country suppressing freedom of expression. This is because people who are being restricted will find and use other alternative means to channel and receive information, especially the internet.

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Review of "Ali Rustam vs Muhyiddin" by Raihan Suleiman Palestin

2009-12-26T22:18:00.000-08:00

"Ali Rustam vs Muhyiddin" by Raihan Suleiman Palestin is a self-published book consisting of 190 pages and priced at RM25. Personally, I do not know much about the author except that two photographs in the book showed her with Bachelor's and Master's degrees in Performing Arts and Traditional Theatre Arts respectively. A "google search" revealed that she was an unsuccesful aspirant for the chief post of UMNO Puteri many years ago.

Overall, many of chapters in the book have rather catchy titles. Examples include "Hulubalang Pak Lah vs Petualang Pak Lah" ("Pak Lah's Warriors vs Pak Lah's Tramps" ), "Kuasa Pemimpin vs Pemimpin Berkuasa" ("Power of Leadership vs Powerful Leader") and others. Also, all chapters end with a quotation or parable or saying from the Holy Quran or Sunnah or a prominent Islamic scholar.

Written after the BN's setback in the 12th General Elections, the chapters are commentaries and general analyses of the causes of its defeat. Chapter 3 starts with condemning the demonstrations organised by HINDRAF leaders. As Tun Mahathir once said "Melayu Cepat Lupa", the author has forgotten how Malay patriots demonstrated against the Malay Union in 1946. She should go to the Pasir Salak Historical Complex in Perak and view the dioramas on display.

Then in chapter four, titled "Hulubalang Pak Lah vs Petualang Pak Lah", she blames the "warriors" of the former PM with falsely feeding him with rosy reports that everything is okay, when in fact "it is not okay when everything is okay."(page 32, line 21). How true. She again comes to the defence of Pak Lah by proclaiming that he was the only Malay President of a BN component party that won in the 12th General Election while the Chinese President and Indian President both lost. Chapter 11 is disappointing. She conveniently labels Muslim opposition leaders and their supporters as "orang Islam yang berfikiran Yahudi" (Muslims with Jewish thoughts). This is too simplistic. How does she know how Jews think?

However, there are a few good chapters expounding the desirable qualities of a good political leader, with reference to the teachings of the Holy Quran. Chapter 19 comes as a refreshing change as she preaches that "jihad" (holy war) means developing the country and attending to family responsibilities. Unfortunately, many of her arguments do not come across as impactful. Part of the reason is her style of writing; she uses longer-than-average sentences so frequently so that her arguments loses vigour in the sea of words. For instance, a sentence on page 116 had 60 words; another on the same page was 42 words.

Also, her political thoughts are not visionary enough. Throughout the book she stresses the importance of prioritising "Agama, Bangsa and Negara" (Religion, Race and Country) as a guiding principle. This is an outdated concept compared to Dato' Sri Najib's 1Malaysia. (Also, in hindsight and in the context of international politics, during the days of the Indonesia-Malaysia Konfrontasi of 1962-66, did our ersthwhile enemies give due consideration that the majority of Malaysians are Muslims, and many of the Malays have Indonesian roots?)

For the non-Malay reader, the thorn-in-the-flesh in the book is the author's insistence of using the proverb (and I presume self-concocted?) "Anak Cina makan pengat sendiri mahu ingat!" a total of 33 times. They appear on pages 5, 8, 11, 15,19, 24, 33, 36, 40, 47, 53, 62, 68, 75, 79, 86, 88, 93, 94, 98, 104, 110, 116, 118, 123, 131, 137 , 142, 148, 156, 157, 164 and 170. Why not use "Anak India or Anak Kadazan or Anak Bengali makan pengat sendiri mahu ingat?" A Malay friend told me that the general equivalent of this proverb is simply "siapa makan cili, dia yang rasa pedas."

With Raihan Suleiman Palestin's insular outlook as regards reader-sensitivity, this is a book that will not endear the non-Malay voter to UMNO.

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Mao Zedong reincarnation of one of Mao Shan's brothers?

2009-12-19T06:04:00.001-08:00

Mention Mao Shan and thoughts of powerful black magic come to mind, no thanks to Hong Kong movies depicting wizards of this sect of Taoism performing anything from good to evil for a lucrative fee.

Mao Shan actually is a term used loosely to refer to three things: a sect of Taoism founded in the 3rd century B.C.; the mountain Mao Shan (see pixs) located in Jintan County in Jiangsu Province in North China, which is regarded as the Holy Land of Taoism; and the founder of the sect whose full name is Mao San Zu Shi, who had two other younger brothers. Among Chinese Malaysians he is referred to as Mao San Sze Kung (Cantonese) or Mao San Su Kong ( Hokkien). In statues, he is depicted with a red face and a beard.

According to legend, Mao Shan Sze Kung and his two brothers were well-versed in herbal cures, exorcism, incantations, breathing exercises and dispensing of talismans for a variety of purposes. They practised their arts from Juqu Mountain during the 3rd century B.C. The commoners benefitted greatly from their knowledge, and the mountain was renamed Mao Shan in their honour. After their deaths, other Taoist masters who had learned the arts from the founder continued to practise there. The Mao Shan sect of Taoism reached its pinnacle during the Soong Dynasty (960-1279).

Once, I attended a mediumship session at a Mao Shan temple in Teluk Intan in the early months of 1976. Speaking through a medium, the deity made a passing remark: "Mao Zedong is the reincarnation of one of my brothers. He'll be coming back to join us soon." A few months later, on September 9, 1976, I was taken aback to read news that Mao Zedong died. Coincidence?

In Malaysia, the Mao Shan Sze Kung deity is not worshipped in many homes because of its reputed link with sorcery. However, this is an erroneous perception - it is the "master" (sifu) or medium who abuses his knowledge by casting harmful spells who is evil rather than the deity or practices of the sect. Anyway, if you fall sick for no reason, and suspect a charm or spell has been put on you, your best bet is to consult a Mao Shan practitioner.

My recommendation is Mr Tan Kui Ling, a Teluk Intan-based, second-generation Mao Shan medium (HP. No. 016-5448727). (His nickname is Tai Kow.). Getting to his humble temple in the former Jalan Incinerator is tricky but the villagers can give you directions. Sorry, he will not cast any evil spells for you, but you can try your luck by asking for three and four-digit lottery numbers. The amount of payment for your consultation is up to you.

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Kidney-harvesting both fact and fiction

2009-12-14T05:12:00.001-08:00

Mrs Lucy Ling and I were sipping teh tarik after having partaken of nasi kandar at Bestari, a Mamak restaurant in Petaling Jaya. While browsing through The Malay Mail of Dec 2, 2009, I was startled to read that two Johor Bahru men had complained to Michael Chong of the MCA Public Complaints Bureau that their kidneys had been harvested after visiting prostitutes.

"Ohmigosh!" I exclaimed. "This is scary. Kidneys gone after a fling with a sex worker! But I wonder whether it's true or not?"

"Let me see the news," said Lucy, putting down her cup and reaching out for the tabloid. After reading it, she quickly fished out a handphone from her handbag. She uttered: "Lou kung (Cantonese for "husband")! You better be careful! You better don't go and visit prostitutes any more! Two men lost their kidneys after doing this... blah...blah... blah...."

Kidney-harvesting is both fact and fiction. Websites such as www. hoax-slayer.com and www. urbanlegends.about. com have classified such stories as "urban legends." The story started circulating by email in the USA in the 1970's, and had been forwarded around like a chain-letter.

Normally, it goes something like this: a traveller or party-goer consumes a spiked drink after being lured by a woman, and wakes up in a bathtub full of ice and a surgery wound on his waist. A note is left for him to call for help, and while in hospital, he is informed that his kidneys have been stolen. Such kind of "thefts" have been vehemently denied by the American Kidney Foundation as none of the purported victims have ever come forward. Though I doubt such incidents have happened in Western countries, there is indeed illegal organ trafficking in China, Egypt, Pakistan, India, Israel, Palestine, Mozambique and Kosovo.

Perhaps the most infamous organ trafficker of the century was Dr. Amit Kumar (see pix) of India who tricked poor peasants to his medical centre in the city of Gurgaon in the outskirt of New Delhi with false promises of construction jobs. The victims were then forciby sedated at gun-point or duped into selling their kidneys. Online news portal hindustantimes. com reported that Dr. Amit Kumar (nicknamed Dr. Horror) had been arrested last year in Nepal and deported to India. He had been trafficking in kidneys for 15 years, with a record of more than 500 kidney transplants. His cohorts included several other doctors, and they had wealthy clients from Western countries.

Later, I phoned Lucy's hubby. I told him: "Mr Ling, your wife is right; my personal advice if you want to be naughty is to consume only canned or bottled drinks, and go only for quickies; never pass the night -- better be safe than sorry."

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False news late Lim Goh Tong declared a Muslim irresponsible blogging

2009-12-11T22:46:00.000-08:00

Recently, I received an email containing news that the late Tan Sri Lim Goh Tong had been declared a Muslim by the Pahang syariah court, and that his non-Muslim children will lose their inheritance. After a bit of research, I traced the story to a posting by an anonymous blogger, who later admitted in a subsequent posting that the "news" was just fabrication. Even though I am a pork-eating, beer-guzzling Taoist who prays to pagan idols, I am not amused with this inciting of religious hatred by a non-Muslim. His (or her) action is both irresponsible and terrible.

For a start, why be disrespectful to the late Tan Sri Lim by using his name? How would this blogger in question feel if a story is written using his/her father's name? Next, why is he (or she) blogging anonymously to hit out at the syariah courts? If this blogger fancies himself as a hero of the non-Muslims, then he/she should not hide in the toilet-bowl of anonymity. Did Martin Luther King, Malcolm X and Nelson Mandela fight for the rights of Africans by anonymous means?

If Tun Mahathir has been re-labelled an ultra-Malay of late in certain blogs, then this blogger can be dubbed as ultra-Chinese (or ultra-Indian, depending on his/her race) -- and also a coward. The fewer we have of these three kinds in our country, the greater are the chances of racial harmony.

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"Count the panties" contest distasteful

2009-12-11T05:42:00.000-08:00

The count-the-panties contest that has appeared in newspapers and TV is distasteful. Like condoms, briefs, bras and other personal hygiene products, panties are intimate items that should not flaunted or used as the "star" in a contest. Doesn't the organiser, Kotex, have other things for the participants to count?

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Why Ganesh has an elephant's head?

2009-12-10T22:13:00.001-08:00

Many non-Hindus are familiar with Ganesh (aka Ganesha), the Hindu god with an elephant's head, but few know the legend behind it. According to mythology, while Lord Shiva had been away for a long time, his consort Goddess Parvati created Ganesh from her sweat and body's dirt. The boy was instructed to guard the bathroom while Parvati bathed.

One day, when Shiva returned, he was surprised to find a "stranger" denying him access to Parvati's bathroom. A fight ensued, and Shiva cut off Ganesh's head. Parvati was grief-stricken, and to console her, Shiva sent his squad to get a head from any creature that faced north. So, an elephant's head was brought back as a replacement. Furthermore, Shiva elevated Ganesh to the status of god, and proclaimed that all new activities (such as entering a new home or official opening of a business premise) should begin by invoking his name and blessings. Thus, he is also known as the God of Good Fortune or God of Success.

Another interesting fact is that Ganesh is often depicted riding a mouse, with a snake coiled round his belly. Why a snake? On one of his birthdays, Ganesh was riding from to house to house, accepting offerings of sweets. A snake slithered across the mouse's path, and it panicked, threwing Ganesh off. He fell and burst his belly, spilling all the sweets out. However, he stuffed them back and used the snake as a bandage to wrap his belly.

When I told this story to my buddy Lee Ah Boo, who has been worshipping Tua Pek Kong or the Taoist God of Prosperity in his home altar for more than two decades without striking any windfall, he pledged that he would go to a Hindu temple to pray to Ganesh regularly, and seek his blessings for wealth. Good luck to him.

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Transsexual Fatine has my sympathies

2009-12-09T05:36:00.000-08:00

Sex-change woman Fatine (formerly Mohammed Fadzil Bahari) who married Briton Ian Young is currently in trouble with the Syariah court, according to the dailies. My sympathies are with her. No... no... no... not because I am a customer of transsexual prostitutes, but I guess I understand members of the third sex better than the man-in-the-street.

Back in 1995, when I was editor of Men & Women, a fashion-cum-lifestyle magazine (now defunct), I had the opportunity to interview a rather sophisticated transsexual (or transvestite) named Miss Sylvia Chow. She was not the crude "Mari, Bang! Tiga puluh ringgit, Bang!" sex worker that one encounters in the back lanes of KL's Lorong Haji Taib district. Kuala Lumpur-born Sylvia spoke French, Italian, German and English, and worked in Europe for almost 20 years.

During the lengthy interview in her condominium, she played the perfect host, serving me tea and scones, while classical music played in the background from a hi-fi. Her life story was similar to those of others in her shoes: a preference for dolls rather than toy guns at a young age; an attraction for boys rather than girls as a teenager; a secret desire to dress in women's clothes and apply make-up as a young man, and the emotional difficulty of identifying her "true" gender before finally discovering and accepting it.

Alas, finding the courage to express her gender openly by cross-dressing in public was a major step forward for her. Initially, her parents threatened to disown her but they later accepted her true self. Another highlight of her life was winning a minor "Miss Singapore" beauty-contest title in the 1970's when she was in her early 20's.

"Woman trapped in a man's body" -- this is what all transexuals feel. So Sylvia went for a sex change operation, and left for Europe to work as a strip-tease dancer. While performing in Switzerland, Cupid struck, and she married a Swiss businessman. However, after 12 years, the marriage broke down, and she returned to KL to set up a flower shop.

Sylvia is one of lucky few among the "sheboys" (a Thai expression for transsexuals) who have had a decent and good life. Both she and her kind are also God's creations; so why discriminate and ridicule them? That's why Fatine has my sympathies. Mereka juga adalah insan yang diciptakan oleh Tuhan, bukan?

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"South Pacific" movie not shot on Tioman Island

2009-12-04T06:31:00.000-08:00

Rough Guide to Malaysia, Singapore and Brunei, Footprint Malaysia Handbook, local travel websites and some travel literature (even those published by Tourism Malaysia but produced by outside agencies) have claimed that Malaysia's Tioman Island was the location where the Hollywood movie South Pacific (released in 1958) was filmed. I have been to Tioman; have also watched the original South Pacific; I didn't see any iota of resemblance between any scene in the movie with any location on Tioman. A bit of research will reveal that the actual location was the Hawaiian island of Kauai.

Colorado-based news portal, The Examiner (http: //www. theexaminer.com), reported that Ms Mitzi Gaynor, the film's star, had returned to Kauai in October 2009 to celebrate the film's 50th anniversary. The portal stated: "Popular sites like Hanalei Bay, Lumaha'i Beach and Mount Makana that were South Pacific's mystical island of Bali Hai are easily recognisable in the movie and by visitors coming to Kauai's north shore today."

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"Saudara Baru" a misnomer

2009-11-30T05:08:00.000-08:00

When Chinese in Malaysia embrace Islam, they are referred to as "Saudara Baru" by their Malay brethren and sisters. "Saudara Baru" means "new relations."

Is this an apt term? In the context of history, I doubt it simply because the Chinese in ancient China have been practising the faith more than 600 years earlier than the Malays in the Malay archipelago. In 650, eighteen years after the death of Prophet Muhammad (S.A.W.), his maternal uncle Sa'ad ibn Abi Waqqaas was sent as an offical envoy by the Caliph Uthman ibn Affan of Arabia (currently Saudi Arabia) to the court of Chinese Emperor Gaozong of the Tang Dynasty. So important was this visit that the Hui people of China regard the year 650 as the founding of Islam in their country. Impressed with the teachings of Islam, the Emperor built the magnificent Memorial Mosque in Canton city.

On the other hand, Malaysia's Batu Bersurat (or Terengganu Stone) that was discovered in 1899 revealed that an Islamic state existed in the area before 1326. A theory was thus postulated that Islam had arrived to the East Coast of the Malay peninsula from China. On the West Coast, Islam began to spread its wings only after Parameswara, a Hindu prince from Sumatra, converted to Islam in 1409. In days of yore, prior to the founding of Melaka, the Malays were under the influence of the Hindu-Buddhist empires of Majapahit (1229-1500) and Sri Vijaya (680-1200/1300), both based in Java, and were probably idol-worshippers.

Thus, doesn't it seem right that the Chinese Muslims in China should refer to the Malays in Malaysia as "Saudara Baru"?

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Enrique first Malay to sail round the world, not Azahar Mansor

2009-11-28T03:19:00.001-08:00

In 1999, Perlis-born mariner Dato' Azahar Mansor went on record as the first Malaysian to sail round the world. Is that so? Actually, Azahar's feat was almost 500 years late!

Historical records point out that a Malay slave who had been forcibly baptised Henrich (Hispanicised as "Enrique") by his Portuguese captors was the first Malay to sail round the world. In 1511, Enrique was acquired by Ferdinand Magellan who had sailed to Malacca through the Cape of Good Hope. Needing an interpreter, Magellan bought Enrique and took him back to Europe. Thereafter, the Portugese explorer (he became a Spanish citizen later) took his Malay interpreter with him on his cirumnavigation round the world from 1519-1521.

Italian historian Antonio Pigafetta who recorded Magellan's travels stated that Enrique was mentioned by Magellan in his last will. Official documents of the La Casa de Contatacion (The Trading House) of Spain of the 16th century that trained sailors and navigators also recorded Enrique's trip with Magellan.

On March 16, 1521, Magellan arrived at Homonhon island in the Philippines. Gines de Mafra, a Spanish member of Magellan's crew wrote in his log that: "He [Magellan] told his men he was in the land he desired, and sent a man named Heredia, who was the ship's clerk, ashore with an Indian they had taken, so he said, because he was known to speak Malay, the language spoken in the Malay archipelago."

On April 27, 1521, Magellan sailed into Mactan and a battle with the natives resulted in his death and many of his crew. In his will, Magellan had provided that upon his death, Enrique shall be freed. The remaining masters of the fleet refused to release Enrique, but on May 1, 1521, he escaped. In the eyes of Spanish historians, Enrique is recognised as the first Malay to sail round the world.

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Ong Tee Keat to join PKR?

2009-11-27T21:50:00.001-08:00

Malay weekly newspaper Siasah (29 Nov-5 Dec 2009 issue) reported that an email has been circulating around with the allegation that MCA President, Datuk Seri Ong Tee Keat, will join Party Keadilan Rakyat (PKR) if he is sidelined by BN leaders.

Siasah's report stated that the writer of the email (using the pseudonym I Love MCA) claimed that when Tee Keat will be in London to attend the International Maritime Association 26th assembly, he will discreetly plan for his political future by meeting up with Tan Yew Sing. Founder of INTI College, Tan is President of the Federation of Chinese Associations Malaysia for Kuala Lumpur & Selangor. I Love MCA also alleged that Tan is a close friend of Datuk Seri Anwar Ibrahim.

Another allegation by the writer was that anti-Ong-Tee-Keat trio -- Dato' Liow Tiong Lai, Datuk Dr. Wee Ka Siong and Datin Paduka Chew Mei Fun -- had made the same threats to UMNO leaders. If Tee Keat is not sidelined, they will join PKR. I Love MCA claimed that as a result of these threats, UMNO intervened with a suggestion that fresh party elections be held. The writer then labelled MCA as a "Malay Controlled Association".

As reported in The Star (24 Nov, 2009), however, Tee Keat has dismissed the jump-ship rumours as "vicious."

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Tips for courting a nightclub hostess

2009-11-27T04:39:00.000-08:00

Some men like to befriend a high-class nightclub hostess for various reasons. A few fellas think they can get sex -- free or paid -- from their new-found friend; others want to have a girlfriend or lover; still, there are hard-core nightclubers who wish to set her up as a mistress.

Warns Mummy Lulu, a nightclub mamasan: "Not all hostesses are prostitutes. They have all been trained to prise money from customers without selling sex."

To win over a hostess as a personal friend, or for whatever purpose, requires a generous amount of time and money. Success can only be achieved in a matter of weeks or months depending on the frequency of your visits. A veteran nightclubber says there are certain guidelines to behaviour that can help a customer win a hostess. First, you must be frank about your occupation, marital status and financial standing. Never brag about money unless you are prepared to back it up with action.

He adds that during conversations with the hostess, never say bad things about your wife and children. Instead tell her how much you love your family, and you are there to relax over a couple of drinks or to indulge in your hobby of karaoke singing. Generally, the more stable and reliable the man is as perceived by the hostess, the better are his chances of establishing a long-term relationship -- for any purpose, other than marriage -- with her. It goes without saying that a bachelor should not boast about the number of girlfriends he has.

Another advice is to avoid cracking vulgar jokes. The more you treat a hostess with respect, the more friendly she will be to you. Telling a hostess you have fallen in love with her on your first or second or even third visit is a sign of the amateur. Many hostess also don't have patience with a customer who nurses a drink the whole evening.

To have a hostess notice you, it is best to visit the nightclub on a Monday when business is slacker and the big spenders are not around. After a couple of visits, if you like the hostess, tell the mamasan that you've been coming back because you are attracted to so-and-so. In this way, the mamasan will be grateful for the respect shown to her, and she will tell the hostess to be nicer to you. Of course, generous tips must always given to the mamasan.

Now, you must demonstrate your sincerity by frequently patronising the hostess and performing the courtship ritual such as inviting her out for late dinners and the giving of presents.

Later, when the timing is right, you should lay your cards on the table. As a direct and honest approach is best, say something like this: "I want to keep you as my mistress (or whatever). If you need money, I will give it to you. All I want is to see you frequently." Such a proposition is likely to be accepted by a lonely hostess. Says Mummy Lulu: "Most beautiful hostesses are harder to win and more expensive to keep as mistresses. But after you've had your fling, it is easier to break off with her as she has other suitors. On the other hand, a plain hostesss is easier to woo as her admirers are few. As her options are limited, getting rid of her later can be a problem."

It's obvious that "playing" with a high-class nightclub hostess is an expensive affair.

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No privacy when consulting a Chinese sinseh

2009-11-27T03:57:00.000-08:00

A Chinese sinseh is a traditional doctor who dispenses herbal medicine after diagnosing the patient's illness by feeling his or her pulse. Usually, his "clinic" is just a desk in a herbal medicine shop. Kuala Lumpur's Pudu district used to have a famous sinseh. Whenever male patients consulted him, he would ask them intimate questions.

The first question would invariably be: "Are you married?" If the answer was yes, he would follow with "Did you have sex recently?"

If the patient said he was single, the sinseh would ask: "Did you kiew kai lately? (Cantonese for "go to a prostitute")" If the male patient was a boy, he would ask "Did you masterbate recently?"

These questions were fired in full public view and hearing. While other waiting patients would snigger on hearing these questions, the sinseh would remain stone-faced, with not a flicker of amusement on his expression.

At first, I was stumped why he asked those questions. Later, a herbal medicine shop dispenser explained to me that according to traditional Chinese medical theory, the sex act depletes a man of vital fluids which debilitates the kidneys and testes. So, those questions were necessary to diagnose a patient's illness.

What about his female patients? Well, they, too, were subjected to intimate questions such as: "When is your period?" followed by "Any white discharge?"

/end'

Gurkha food, anyone?

2009-11-27T02:24:00.000-08:00

While strolling along Jalan Tun H.S. Lee in KL, I stumbled upon an eatery named Restoran Gurkha. (Gurkha are the people of Nepal). My adventurous streak compelled me to give it a try. Tucked in the first floor of an old shophouse, the restaurant greeted me with a huge white poster with Nepalese characters pasted on a glass door. Inside was a big crowd of Nepalese drinking beer. The furnishings were Spartan; a glass case displayed newspapers and magazines in Nepalese.

All the six or seven odd dishes available were written on a white board. The owner explained that "Bandel Rice" was rice with wild boar meat; "Sukuti Rice" was buffalo meat with rice. His English was unintelligible when he tired to explain "Bhatmas" and "Momo". As I don't eat beef, I settled for the "Bandel Rice". It arrived on a round aluminium platter with vegetables. My first bite of the wild boar meat was a "ohmigosh" experience. I had expected it to taste like the Chinese version of wild boar curry -- all lean meat oozing a spicy aroma. Instead, it consisted of skin, fat and meat. There was also a "wild-animal" smell to the meat. I was unable to finish it, but the vegetables were okay. The soup was similar to the familiar roti canai dal, but green peas had been added.

No, I am not deterred. Next time I will try "The Khukri -- Nepalese" on Jalan Tun Tan Siew Siew (formerly Jalan Silang). It is air-conditioned and is nicely decorated -- that's what I saw on peeping through the half-opened front door.

/end

Types of nightclub hostesses

2009-11-23T05:21:00.000-08:00

When dusk sweeps across Kuala Lumpur's skyline and most office ladies have gone home, women of another breed are preparing for work. They are the hostesses (or GROs) who work in nightclubs, karaoke lounges and bars. Their function is to provide fun, laughter and companionship for the male patrons.

Men who seek out hostesses go home either disappointed or happy -- after having parted with their hard-earned money. The disappointed are the inexperienced who choose the wrong type of hostess; they often select novice hostesses by assuming that such women are easier to take advantage of. But don't be too sure. Knowing the ploys of men, madams (or mamasans) often ask veteran hostesses to front as newbies who pretend to be shy.

One common false notion held by many customers is that they can fondle any hostess. Actually, the amount of body contact varies from place to place. In a nightspot that emphasizes atmosphere, customers are only allowed to put an arm around the waist or shoulder of the hostess. However, sleazy joints that permit sex allow anything to everything. It goes without saying that hostesses in expensive nightclubs are more educated and well-behaved and dress more elegantly.

According to Mummy Lulu, a mamasan of a nightclub in KL's Golden Triangle, hostesses can be divided into three types: the "playmate", the "model" and the "girlfriend." The "playmate" type of hostess is usually young and cute, says Lulu. She is cheerful and bubbly but can be temperamental, and is more suited for younger customers who want to have fun (such as karaoke singing or dancing) but not for those who want to relax over drinks or drown his sorrows. She likes to chit-chat about parties, music and fashion. It is easy to start and end a friendship with a "playmate" hostess as she is friviolous about such matters.

The "model" hostess is more intelligent and sophisticated than the "playmate" counterpart. Usually, she is attractive, tall and elegant. It is difficult to know her on a personal basis as she seldom mixes her professional and personal lives. She doesn't like customers who are timid or scholarly, and prefers confident, successful businessmen and professionals with thick wallets. If a customer succeds in befriending her, he will find that she is usually demanding. It is usually expensive to keep a "model" hostess as a mistress.

Mummy Lulu adds that for the average man, the "girlfriend" type of hostess is best. Compared to the "model" hostess, she is of average looks, average height, and is more simplistic in thinking. Often, she has the customer's interest at heart. If a customer feels tipsy, she may discourage him from more drinks; if he wants to talk about his personal problems, she will lend a sympathetic ear. Many customers can develop a emotional attachment to the "girlfriend" hostess; she, too, can fall in love with a regular customer.

All three types of hostesses are required for a nightclub to flourish, according to Mummy Lulu. The "girlfriend" hostesses will lure in the Average Joes for repeat business; the "model" hostesses are more compatible with serious customers into business entertainment; and the "playmate" hostesses are ideal for fun, fun and more fun on festive occasions, birthdays and celebrations.

/end

Review of "Najib Tun Razak vs. Kaki Kacau Malaysia" by S.H. Alattas

2009-11-22T04:03:00.001-08:00

Given S.H. Alattas' reputation as a political writer, I had high expectations of this book which, unfortunately, turned out disappointing to me. Written in Bahasa Melayu, Najib Tun Razak vs. Malaysia's Trouble-makers (English-translated title) contains 420 pages and is priced at RM30. It is published by JB News Media Network.

The "Mukadimah" as well as other chapters are peppered with ideologies by Machiaveli, Thomas Hobbes, Jacob Needleman, Socrates and other philosophers. I doubt the average reader-cum-voter will be able to relate to this display of the author's high-brow knowledge. Then, in the first five chapters, the author fires way with a
discourse on Islamic teachings; there are quotes from the Holy Koran as well. Here, the reader gets a vague feeling that he is implicitly clobbering away at PAS. Alas, in Chapter 6, the author reveals his stand openly by condemning PAS leaders with the title "Guru Yang Bullshit, Gundus dan Dungus."

How sad. One does not fight PAS with arguments revolving around Islamic teachings. Tuan Guru Datuk Nik Aziz and Datuk Hadi Awang are the masters in this field. Despite the author's valiant efforts, to me, the five chapters have failed to put forth any convincing arguments on the shortcomings of PAS, whatever they are. Subsequent chapters focus on issues, amongst others, such as the toppling of Pakatan Rakyat's Perak government, Datuk Seri Anwar's sodomy charge and Altantuya Shaariibuu.

Now, on the language used. Throughout the book, there are many, many usages of English words when a Malay equivalent is available. Examples include "medium" (wahana), "research work" (kajian), "brand" (jenama), etc. This "corruption" of the Malay language is not necessary. More so when the author is not a master of the English language. For instance, on page 18, "guiding principal" should be "guiding principle"; on page 111, "dateline" should be "deadline". That the author got our Health Minister's name wrong throughout the book also ballooned my disappointment. It should be "Liow Tiong Lai" and not "Liew Tiong Lai."

Excess baggage in the paperback include newspaper clippings (with almost illegible text), front covers of the author's previous books, and photographs of long-gone politicians like Datuk Harun Idris, Tunku Abdul Rahman and Tan Sri Syed Jaafar Albar --all these materials are of tenuous relevance to the title and theme of the book. The only photograph that grabbed my attention was the fake showing our Prime Minister with Abdul Razak Baginda and Altantuya. People familiar with graphics software will spot immediately that Dato' Sri Najib's upper torso was superimposed.

One final brickbat: chapters 14, 15, 21, 22, 24, 25 and 27 are merely news extracts from Utusan Malaysia, Sinar Harian and Berita Harian. What a way to pad up a book. With his political connections and depth of knowledge, S.H. Alattas can produce a much better work provided he avoids a "mee segera" (instant noodles) approach.

/end

Was Hang Tuah a Chinese?

2009-10-30T05:57:00.000-07:00

I received a forward mail, which contained an article written by Shahabudeen Jalil postulating a hypothesis that Melaka's legendary Hang Tuah was a Chinese Muslim. I was taken aback. The article also claimed that the names of Melaka's warriors were corruption of Chinese names after they had embraced Islam: Hang Tuah (Hang Too Ah); Hang Jebat (Hang Jee Fatt), Hang Lekir (Hang Lee Ker); Hang Lekiu (Hang Lee Kiew). Only Hang Kasturi was a Malay, and he was called "Hang" to signify their close comradeship.

"Hang Tuah adalah anak cucu kepada keturunan rombongan puteri Hang Li Po yang datang ketika pemerintahan Sultan Mansur Shah," wrote the author. The gist of the argument is that Malays do not use a surname (or clan name) for their offsprings, and that in Chinese names, the surname comes first. He also "elucidated" that "Hang" was not an honorary title as the working paper of one Mohd Yunus Ibrahim (UKM's Jabatan Sejarah) had stated that during that period, such titles were Bendahara, Paduka Raja, Temenggung, Laksamana, Shahbandar and Mandulika.

The article also claimed that scientists from the Federal Association of Arc & Research of Michigan, USA had discovered the tomb of Hang Tuah. His remains had been exhumed and DNA tests had proved that he was a Chinese.

I wonder why the Association felt it necessary to identify Hang Tuah's race? I am also stumped that it does not have a website. Another point: names are not conclusive proof of one's ancestry or race. I know a gentleman whose legal name is Zukri Valenteno. Does that mean he's an Italian Muslim? In fact, he's a true-blue Malay, and is Head of Corporate Communication in the Ministry of Rural and Regional Development. See?

Shahabudeen Jalil's article is balderdash! Only egotistical Chinese would want to believe that Hang Tuah was a kung fu expert able to break boulders with his "iron palm" and fend off invading Siamese warriors with Shaolin flying kicks.

/end

Tourists a goldmine to be robbed!

2009-10-22T06:20:00.000-07:00

At a recent EXCO Meeting of the Kuala Lumpur Tourism Association, a representative from the Tourist Police shared with attendees some insights on the workings of criminals who prey on tourists as well as Malaysians. Here are some interesting revelations:

POLICE IMPERSONATION

Tourists from India and China are the main targets of police impersonators. They will accost a group of tourists, claiming to be from an "international police organisation" such as Interpol. Flashing fake authority cards, the impersonators will demand for wallets be handed over for checking of narcotics. By sleight of hand, most of the money in the wallets will be stolen, before they are returned to the victims. Main culprits of this crime are tourists from Turkey and Iran.

BURGLARS

Tourists who turn burglars-by-night are usually from South America, especially Colombia and Venezuela. They drive rented expensive cars and will target homes in posh residential areas.

LURE OF SEX

Staying in the country as tourists, some Filipinas target Western men in dance clubs and pubs. Their weapons are revealing clothes and a spiked drink. The nightspots along Lorong P.Ramlee are popular hangouts for them. If the victim-to-be brings the woman to his hotel room, he will end up in Dreamland, only to wake up naked the next morning with his valuables stolen.

CARD GAME

A variation of using a spiked drink is to invite the victim to a card game, purportedly with the woman in her apartment. On arrival, the victim will discover to his shock that his card game is not with the woman but with a few men awaiting like tigers ready to pounce on its victim. Using marked cards, the tricksters will allow the victim to win initially; but gradually he will lose everything.

MODIFIED BIKES

Local snatch thieves who target tourists in the city's Golden Triangle ride modified bikes for faster acceleration. Such bikes can even outrun police cars in sprints, and they usually weave into back lanes. That's why we now see more police presence in tourist spots.

LOST BAG CAPER

Main perpetrators of the lost-bag caper are Middle East tourists. Such a conman will enter a hair saloon or restaurant with his wife and children. After a shampoo service or meal, he will claim to have lost a bag containing his money wallet. He yells: "Your staff has stolen my bag!" Threats will be made to lodge a police report unless compensation is made, including taxi fare back to his hotel. If the amount demanded is small, the victim will pay up to avoid the hassle of dealing with police questioning.

BOGUS MONKS

Buddhist monks are not allowed to touch money; they can only accept food given to them before noon. Therefore, those begging for money are conmen. However, deportation of bogus monks is difficult. A case has to be presented by the police to the Immigration Department before the latter takes action.

The sad fact is that perpetrators of crime against tourists are seldom sent to jail. The police will charge them in court but by that time, the victims are not around to testify, having flown home. So many of the conmen or conwomen are repeat offenders.

/end

Lorry to ferry ghosts, not goods

2009-10-21T12:53:00.000-07:00

Puteri UMNO's call at the General Assembly in October 2009 to ban the production of "horror, mystical and superstitious" movies on the grounds that watching them can weaken Muslims' faith in Islam is sheer nonsense. Like it or not, pontianak, jin, orang bunian and other supernatural beings have been part of Malay beliefs (and hence culture) since time immemorial.

So, let me share a ghost-busting tale told to me by a friend. Many years back, a building was slated to be built on a piece of prime land in Kuala Lumpur. The land had a "dirty" history-- being a former cemetry, to be precise.

"Better be safe than sorry" was the attitude of the contractor who didn't want to risk accidents caused by evil spirits during construction. So a bomoh was summoned to conduct an exorcism ritual, who in turn summoned a lorry to the spot. The poor lorry driver didn't know what he was into actually, and thought he was assigned to carry goods. He was taken aback when he saw the bomoh burning kemenyan (benzoin), slaughtering chickens and chanting away. Then the bomoh herded the ghosts into the lorry, with shouts of "Masuk! Masuk! Masuk!" However, as the driver didn't see any apparition, he was sceptical. The bomoh got into the front cab of the lorry and asked the driver to drive off.

Imagine the driver's shock when on pressing the accelerator, he discoverd that the lorry was much heavier than before! However, a few stubborn ghosts have remained behind, and today the spick-and-span building is supposedly haunted. Security guards have seen its automatic sliding glass doors opening by itself on umpteen occasions; they have also seen ghostly figures standing on top of the reception counter in the wee hours of the night. Believe it or not?

/end

Slow But Highly Revered

2009-10-18T00:25:00.000-07:00

Old-generation Chinese, especially of Taoist and Buddhist faith, rarely eat any dishes cooked from the slow-moving tortoise. Why? In ancient China, the tortoise was regarded as a sacred animal, and ranked equal in status with the unicorn, phoenix and dragon. According to legend, in ancient times in China, a giant tortoise

Donor's name being written on a tortoise's shell

helped to prevent the Yellow River from overflowing its banks; in return the Emperor granted the animal a life span of ten thousand years. (The biological life span of a tortoise is actually 100-150 years.)

A tortoise being released into a lake

Thus, the tortoise is a symbol of longevity. It also symbolises endurance as it has a hard shell which has markings that are considered the Eight Trigrams in Taoism. The tortoise also plays an important role in feng shui. For example, some burial mounds are often shaped like a tortoise; many feng shui consultants recommend that the back of one's house (kitchen or backyard) should have the symbol of a tortoise so that the family's fortunes will be stable and later generations will prosper.

In Buddhism and Taoism, the release of tortoises (as well as doves) on auspicious days is supposed to bring good merit to the doer. Termed "life release", this practice should be conducted with caution, according to an owner of a prayer paraphernalia store. She told me that white pigeons should not be released as white symbolises death in Chinese culture. According to her, a recommended way to release a tortoise is to write the donor's name and date of birth on its shell, make a wish at the god's altar at home or a temple and then set the animal free in a river or lake. The place of release must have food for it to survive. Auspicious days for "life release" are Wesak Day, the first and fifteenth day of the Chinese lunar month and the birthday of a deity, such as the Goddess of Mercy.

/end

Best "mua chee" in KL's Chinatown

2009-10-17T08:19:00.000-07:00

The food scene in KL's Chinatown is always changing. Stalls come and go. Years ago, a mobile rock candy stall used to operate outside the Popular Bookstore, (the hawker would use a chisel and hammer to slice off pieces from a colourful slab of rock candy) but it has disappeared; a mua chee stall of average standard at Jalan Sultan has also said goodbye to Chinatown. Currently, a mua chee stall in Jalan Petaling is drawing the crowds. For the uninitiated, mua chee is a snack consisting of slices of springy glutinous rice flour coated with a mixture of granulated sugar, sesame seeds and grinded peanuts. Five flavours of mua chee are available from this stall; namely, pineapple, black sesame, grape, lychee and pandan. A box costs RM5. As they say, "belum cuba, belum tahu; sudah cuba, lagi mahu". This sweet old lady's fare has been featured in a Chinese newspaper, which testifies to its popularity. Yes, I also quite like her mua chee.

Review of “Winning Strategies of Anwar Ibrahim” by Mutharasan

2009-10-14T07:27:00.000-07:00

Overall, this is a fairly interesting book, but could have been improved if the author, Mutharasan, had interviewed the subject's friends, foes and impartial observers. I am sure there are academicians who are willing to contribute their views. For instance, Professor Dato' Dr. Khoo Kay Kim has been interviewed by Harakah.

Anyway, the first chapter starts with a boring account of the results of the General Elections 2008. (there is too much reportorial writing here), while the second chapter outlines the background of Anwar. The real "meat" of the book is found in chapters four to eleven, while the remaining four chapters are just speculations about the future. According to the author, the eight strategies pursued by Anwar were: putting pressure on the Election Commission; exposing the failure of the BN Government; allegations of corruption; releasing the V.K. Lingam tapes; uniting the Opposition parties; forming a multi-racial party; fielding his daughter Nurul Izzah as a Parliamentary candidate; and choosing the right campaign spots.

Weaknesses of the BN component parties are also discussed. Nevertheless, the author adopts a toned-down approach to a few of the alleged scandals linked to BN leaders. For example, he uses the word "Mongolian model" once and refers to her name also once. On the contrary, a PAS supporter friend told me that this was a big issue harped upon repeatedly by the Opposition; in fact, at a certain ceramah, a mock coffin with a picture of Altantuya was unveiled.

The author's style of writing is straight forward, and the layperson will find it easy to understand. A minor irritant, however, is the frequent use of exclamation marks. On page 57, for example, the reader will find four exclamation marks that are not necessary.

Priced at only RM25 and published by Focus Media Enterprise, "Winning Strategies of Anwar Ibrahim" is quite a good buy -- better than spending the same amount on a foreign novel -- as the reader will be enlightened as to the BN-Government's sad state of affairs prior to the General Elections 2008.

/end