TNTBS Media

Try Something New

2021-08-08T16:54:00.004-07:00

People often talk about finding their lane.

I've learned that sometimes life asks us to change lanes.

When I wanted to leave direct care and move into office work, I knew I needed a new skill. So I started practicing on the computer keyboard I had at home.

I needed to learn ten-key.

Someone gave me advice I'll never forget:

"You're already good at dialing a telephone. Just turn the phone upside down and learn to type that way."

That simple perspective changed everything.

I wasn't starting from zero.

I was building on something I already knew.

Later, I wanted to work in the school system. I decided that if I was serious about becoming an educator, I should become one. So I went back to school.

When I interviewed, I shared that I was earning my education degree. Looking back, I think that commitment to learning helped set me apart.

Changing lanes opened another door.

Years later, I felt another pull.

This time, it wasn't toward another job.

It was toward entrepreneurship.

I wanted the opportunity to build something of my own and make the decisions I believed were best. So I left the security of the school system and stepped into business ownership.

That was another lane change.

Looking back, I realize none of those seasons were wasted.

Each one prepared me for the next.

The skills I learned in direct care helped me serve people.

The skills I learned in education helped me teach.

The skills I learned as an entrepreneur continue to shape everything I create today.

Sometimes we think changing directions means starting over.

I don't believe that anymore.

I think we're often carrying more with us than we realize.

So let me ask you...

Is there a new lane you've been thinking about?

Maybe it's a new career.

Maybe it's starting a business.

Maybe it's writing the book you've been putting off.

Whatever it is, don't assume you're starting from the beginning.

You may already have more of what you need than you think.

Until the next chapter…

There will be more.

— Katherine Waddell

#business #businessowner #thisneedsotobesaid #entrepreneurlife #entrepreneurmindset #entrepreneurship #podcaster #podcast #media #tv #youtube #radio #magazine 

Series: How to get family and friends to support my business

2021-08-08T04:56:00.002-07:00

Here's a reason your friends and family may not support you. This 20 second video offers a possible to solution for feeling as if our loved ones are not on our side.

Coach Kat

www.tntbsmedia.com

Contact me for a complimentary one on one consultation. This is good for new business owners as well as business owners looking for a new direction. https://tntbsmedia.setmore.com/ 

#ThisNeedsToBeShared #Podcast #blogger #vlogger #thisneedstobesaid #coaching

The ONE crucial thing missing from most marketing strategies

2021-03-09T02:00:00.002-08:00

 Asking others to help you in your business is not easy. Shoot asking for help in your personal life makes you feel less than, if you let it. No matter how long you are in business, relationships are your bank account. You grow your relationship bank by consistently nurturing relationships, while growing new ones. I wonder what the annual percentage rate of return is on doing this well lol... 

Things to know about asking for help: 

1. Be specific in what you are asking of the connection.
2. Be visible in their world.
3. Express gratitude for their time even if they say NO. 

#thisneedstobesaid #liveayummylife #liveyourpassion

Entrepreneurship as a Lifestyle (February 24th)

2021-03-08T04:30:00.001-08:00

Learning to reinvent yourself starts here.

As someone who wants to be the main one in charge of decisions with a company, you are constantly in need of reinventing yourself. Relationships are a great way to help you with that. When you have a relationship, people share next moves with you so you can adjust yourself to be included if you choose.

#business #relationship #marketing #coach #leadership #coaching #entrepreneur #selfemployee

Sending hugs and smiles one card at a time: She loved her cards

2021-03-03T14:30:00.004-08:00

Have you ever been prompted to do something for someone and it goes away almost as soon as it appeared. Good intentions is what I call that notion. I say send that hug in the mail. It is like opening a surprise gift in the mail.

Send a free card to someone you love today

Entrepreneurship as a Lifestyle-Reinvention starts with one moment at a time

2021-03-03T14:26:00.001-08:00

A Single Mom's Guide to Financial Recovery

2019-01-14T06:00:00.000-08:00

Ron Drescher Talks with Katherine about His New Book

Katherine: Hello everyone and thank you so much for joining us today on

"This Needs To Be Said". Our friend, attorney Ron Drescher has come back

with a book that I'm totally excited about. He is a bankruptcy attorney.

We've talked with him on different topics over the years here on

“This Needs to be Said”, but today he's bringing something that I wish I had

while I was raising my children. They're all gone and grown at this point,

but I wish I had this and every other single mom, after you hear this

interview is going to wish you had it so you'll have the opportunity to get it.

So today I want to welcome back to the show. How are you?

Ron Drescher: I'm great. How are you doing?

Katherine: I'm doing fantastic and your book has me excited because, or, the

book that's coming has me excited because there weren't many things for single

moms when I was raising my kids and a lot of times the world has said to me, you

need a man or you need some. You know you need help, but they usually say you

need a man. And maybe this book could have helped us in lieu of what we didn't

have because a lot of times we know what we need, we know that we could use

more help or we should have a partner or you know, it would be better off with a

partner, but it's difficult if that's not the case of what do we do in the meantime.

And you have a new book coming out, Ron, tell us a bit about this book and why

you wrote it.

Ron Drescher: The title of the book is “The Single Mom's Guide to Financial

Recovery. And the reason I am writing this book, we're not quite finished,

but we're definitely going to be. Uh, we're definitely going to be, and will

be able to start shipping it at the beginning of January, is that I think that

single moms are terribly underserved segments, uh, and that they need

know a single mom who's facing some financial distress needs, really

need three things.

One, of course – is so it's nice to have money, but you have as much money

as you have, unless you know, and you could go out and you could get a

second job or a third job or a fourth job or some sort of other side is, uh, but

ultimately there is only as much money as there is, so I think you need hope

and I think you need information when you're facing financial distress. And

one of the things that I've always liked about interacting with women, uh,

and, and forgive me if this is a generalization, but, but I find that women tend

to respond well initially on an emotional level and then on the informational

level. And one of the things that I like about that is, to me that is real life. Um,

if you're going to information solely on that intellectual, informational level,

um, I don't know that that's going to resonate with an audience or with a reader

who, who needs help.

Uh, I think when you, when you are facing a problem, you need to be addressed

on an emotional level. Um, so that, that creates that idea of, of hope and even,

you know, excitement from the hope which, which are both strong emotional

responses and that's one of the things that I've always found really rewarding

about, about working with women is that there are these emotional

components of the work that make the experience more rewarding and, and,

and allows, you know, the clients and the attorney to kind of work on a, on a

deeper level than if you're simply analyzing information and data on a purely

intellectual level. So that's, you know, and I hope that that's a meaningful

answer to your audience because that is definitely something that

I've found.

Katherine: Well I'm sure that it will be, it's something that they probably have not

thought about consciously, but as women we realized that we are, you know, and,

and it is a general statement and it applies to the majority of people in your

experience in. So I don't think that anyone should look at the information that

you're providing in any other light other than this is general. Find yourself in

the information.

If this does not apply to you verbatim, I understand, but sometimes we have

to have the three components or we may have one of the three components,

so look and see what you may be missing if you are a single woman, single

mom, and you have found yourself in a place where you're stuck and you're

not able to move forward. Sometimes it just takes a little nudge, a little

information or a little whatever you're missing. Not a lot of it to get you

where you're trying to go and a lot of times we're trying to go somewhere new

because this book is for single women, but how did you become

single Have you always been single If so, then you know, approach it that way.

Have you been married now you're single than approach it from okay, or

rebuilding point of view. So some of us are trying to get by, but we've never

been and some of us are trying to get back at least to where we've been.

Because when your finances have changed, I get emotional because I couldn't.

I get concerned and I want to know what can we do to solve this problem or how

did we get into this situation and we as a single person is me, myself, and I

because I'm the one that's managing everything for me and the children.

So how did we get here and how can we get out of this? This is a question that will be

in my head, which means I lack information to know how to avoid being in this

place again. So I think what you're about to bring to us is going to be well received

and it is needed. So what are some things that can be found in this book but let me

pause that question because that's not sound like you had something to say.

Ron Drescher: Yeah, no, actually it was going to talk about some things that are in the

book. One of the things that, uh, one of the realities that my clients find so distressful

when they are, uh, find themselves single again or on their own again, is they may

have reached some sort of agreement with their ex that, okay, you know, I'm going

to pay the credit card bills or you’re going to pay the credit card bills, so now I don't

have to worry about that. I'm going to take on these other obligations or I'm going to

take on these other assets or you're going to take on these assets and then you're

going to pay the credit card bill.

So I'm going to be okay. The truth is that those agreements between spouses or

significant others as to who's going to pay a credit card bill is not binding on the

creditor, not binding on the credit card company. So even though you're, your EX might

say, okay, as part of this separation or divorce agreement, I'm going to agree to be

responsible for paying that Visa Card. The truth is you're still on the hook for that

Visa Card. So if something happens with your ex, your ex has a job loss or your ex just

decides, you know what, this really didn't turn out to be such a good deal for me, so

I'm not going to pay that credit card anymore. You're still responsible for that. A lot of

people don't understand that. They don't realize that. And so it's important to know that,

first of all, it's important to know that before you make the agreement to divvy up the debts

and it's also important to know that you're still going to be responsible for that if something

goes wrong with your ex.

So to know that going in would be helpful. And to know that afterwards you'll spare yourself

some very unpleasant news when you get that demand letter from the attorney for the

credit card company, when it turns out that you x hasn't been making those payments that

were agreed upon to make. So that's, to me, one of the most important things that is a,

that comes out of thinking about what a single mom facing financial distress has to think

about is if you thought you were free from those credit card bills because you're asking

them that may not turn out to be the case. So that's important. Uh, other things that are

important are, you know, how to deal with, uh, expenses that have come up if you don't,

if you now just don't have the money to pay them. One of the things that we will talk about

in the book is bankruptcy and whether or not bankruptcy is a good tool for you if you're in

that position to help cope with your new financial reality.

So that is certainly a thing that I will discuss in the book. Um, you know other things I will

discuss in the book there. There is a series that I've, um, started, um, called the bankruptcy

lawyers, a guide to saving money. And I'm going to include some of the information from

that series of blogs that I wrote. For example, is it going to help you to buy a car at an auction

and it helps you to drop your high payment vehicle and go look for a car at an auction and

there are some techniques that are , really will work great. And there are some things

that you've got to be super careful about before you jump into that. But if you're paying,

if you're paying $500, $600 a month on a car, and the money's just not there for that, I think

you do need to find other strategies.

You know, I've had a client who gets a ride to work every day and she takes a lift home

and she's been criticized for that and I say, you know what, I think that's a great strategy

for you because you don't need to be paying a car payments and gas for the car and car

insurance and maintenance for the car if you're hardly driving it. So, you know, it ends up it

actually costs about $200 a month over 600. That's right, that's right. So by taking a Lyft or an

Uber from work every day, that's not a bad strategy, uh, for, for the right person. So I'm going

to be exploring different approaches like that, uh, that are maybe a little bit outside the

box that you wouldn't necessarily think about.

Katherine: I think this is so neat. It, Ron, I know that we're going to get into this some more.

You promise me that. So I'll put that out there. So the audience knows to expect more. I know

to expect more. I am continually excited about things that cater to a different way of thinking

and I kind of felt that when you said she was being criticized for it, everybody has an opinion,

don't they Sometimes you just say too much, let a person be, but you have to have the nerve

in this world to go ahead and do what's best for you regardless of what other people say,

just because they would accept you having a five or $600 car payment. So you'd have this car and be independent or whatever. They're criticizing this lady about you made the decision that's best for your household. And what you can do to make it work and so you can sleep at night and not be worried. So boys, it is tough and knowing when to, you know, be head strong.

Not head strong. The word to be more intellectual, to be more emotional, to be more of anything else you have to learn that and way out. Does what they say matter over what attorney Drescher is sharing with me some new strategies to make my life work for me because everybody's life isn't cookie cutter. Yeah, you got married. Yeah, you got kids, but the part of the cookie cutter that isn't clear is the. Yeah, you got separated. Oh yeah, you got divorced or yeah, you are the only adult responsible for the household. Now, whatever the change, is change, it happens. How you got there, maybe devastating everyone doesn't know the right way for everyone, but there is a strategy that may work because your situation is slightly different from your friend that you talked to at the water cooler about her separation. So I want people to be ready to receive your information with an open mind and to receive these books, received this book when it comes out and you're going to share with us how we can get on a list so that we're ready when this book drops. But before you shared that one, give me the three keys. We started out in the beginning of this interview and you said there are three things that we should, I guess, engaged when we are considering either rebuilding or approaching this book. And I want to make sure I have them down right.

Ron Drescher: The first and most important one is know your fat. Okay. So many people have, I guess you could call it, you know, rose colored glasses way of looking at their life, but there is no substitute for knowing exactly how much money is coming in and what your fixed expenses are. So the first thing is one, know your facts, okay All right. The second is, don't be afraid to change. Because I mean, if you're looking at a situation where you've got some, you've got all right, so you, you've figured out your facts, this is the amount of money that's really coming in now. How much is it really costing me to live you need to know that and you may need to make very hard choices about that, but make those choices. Don't let them be made for you. I mean, don't wait for the eviction to come if you know that you can't afford that housing, don't wait.

You know, so one, know your facts to don't be afraid to make the big decision. And then here's the third one, get help, get help. There's no shame in getting help as another reason why I actually, um, I, typically like working with women, um, because I think women are smart enough to know that they need to get help when they need to get help. You know, they don't have these same preconceived notions that men frequently have, you know, which is that they've got to go and do it on their own. Although I'm going to tell you, plenty of women do have those preconceived notions that they need to accomplish this on their own and every once in a while you're going to be in a situation where you really just need to get help. You need to reach out to the people who care for you and the people who were in a position to help you and say, you know what Ron Drescher: I'm having this problem. You know, what are some possible solutions so know your facts and it's not necessarily the earth times. Get help know your facts. Make the brave decision.

Katherine: How do we get on the list be alerted when the book is available.

Ron Drescher: Feel free to send an email to info@drescherlaw.com, d, r e s, c h e r l a w.com. Uh, and, and so that's the best way to get advanced notice. And also, you know what, if, if you want to rummage around on my website, drescherlaw.com, some of the information will be there. Um, feel free to order my, my book of file bankruptcy and get rich. That's, um, maybe, maybe you want to read single mom's guide first and then file bankruptcy and get rich. Some information will overlap, but that's also a book that, that a lot of people have found useful.

Katherine: Awesome. Well thank you so much for coming by sharing with me and the audience what you've been working on, what's going to help us, and we're looking forward to your next visit. So until then, have a super day.

Ron Drescher: Thanks a lot. I always enjoy coming here and talking with you.

Katherine: Awesome, until next time.

The Excuses, The Frustrations, and The Plateaus

2019-01-01T09:00:00.000-08:00

# The Excuses, the Frustrations, and the Plateaus Early in my business journey, I discovered something that almost every entrepreneur experiences: people are hesitant to trust the new person. You're the new kid on the block, and until you've built credibility, many people simply aren't ready to buy, recommend, or invest in what you're building. At the time, that felt personal. Now I understand that it was part of the process. Looking back, there are several lessons I wish someone had shared with me when I first started This Needs To Be Said Media. They wouldn't have eliminated the hard days, but they would have helped me recognize that frustration, slow seasons, and plateaus aren't signs that you're failing—they're often signs that you're growing. If you're building something meaningful, you'll experience moments when you question yourself. You'll make excuses. You'll become frustrated. You'll wonder if you've stopped making progress altogether. You're not alone. In this video, I share some of the lessons I learned about navigating the excuses, the frustrations, and the plateaus that every entrepreneur eventually encounters. Sometimes success isn't about moving faster. Sometimes it's about refusing to quit while you're still growing. **Press play and let's talk about it.** *[Embedded YouTube Video]*

Children aren’t afraid to talk about skin tone…Why are their parents?

2017-01-17T12:00:00.000-08:00

When our children talk about skin color, we parents don’t have to be afraid to engage in their conversations. Actually we can let them lead the way. When children talk about their friend’s skin being brown, peach, pink, etc., they are simply noticing the obvious.

But parents have been shamed into shunning conversations about skin color, opting instead to embrace the seemingly more safe and politically correct colorblind approach.

Colorblindess—the notion, the theory, the language or lack thereof—has made parents a false promise. If we don’t see skin color (or talk about it), racism will go away. I wish it were true. But it’s just not.

Research shows that because children are developmentally prone to in-group favoritism, avoiding conversations about race and skin tone will not produce color-blindness. Instead, the colorblind approach will rob them/us of language and power to address race-based issues when the opportunity presents itself.

The observation of skin tone is not inherently connected to the social political construct of race. So, in our family, we empower our children by giving them language and freedom to talk about skin tones and other obvious differences. For example, the ethnic make up in our family is white dad, black mom, and three multi-ethnic little girls. We have given ourselves a language and narrative to acknowledge our five different ‘hues of brown’ (and five different hair textures) without using race terminology like ‘white’ and ‘black.’

Having conversations about skin tone void of shame and discomfort in their early years has established a safe space and frame work for educating them about the complexities of race ideology. Our then seven year old articulated her understanding of race as a terrible idea created a long time ago, that if not for Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., would have made it impossible for her to be born! She expressed anger about the invention and existence of race and racism. (Yay! We want anger to be pointed towards the idea and legacy of race, not towards a group of people.)

I was amazed at how she formulated this position. She had read Meet Addy: An American Girl series, Who Was Martin Luther King, Jr.?, Who Was Abraham Lincoln?, both of the Who Was…? series, to name of few. She had lots of questions and I gave her age appropriate answers.

As parents, we can not allow fear to keep us from having these conversations. Shunning comments about skin tone and race in the warmth of our loving homes, may leave our children susceptible to the conditioning of institutionalized racial narratives. Let’s empower our children to create a more beautiful world.

Here are a few related resources.

Summary of Nurture Shock: Chapter 3 – Why White Parents Don’t Talk about Race
- You can find the partial chapter online.
CNN. Anderson Cooper. A Look At Race Relations Through A Child’s Eyes.

In the comments section, please share your resources and practices or any questions you may have.

By Lucretia Berry

I am a wife, mother, educator, writer, and speaker. I am passionate about helping people overcome boundaries through spiritual and social consciousness. I love the work of ONEness and am co-creator of Brownicity: The Art & Beauty of Living & Loving Beyond Race, our platform for inspiring, equipping and empowering people to eradicate race ideology.
You can connect with me at Brownicity, on Facebook & Twitter.

When children have questions about skin tone, how will you respond? with Lucretia Berry

2016-07-19T12:00:00.000-07:00

National Nanny Training Day

‘Why is your skin a different color than mine?’

‘My skin is not white/black, why is it called white/black?’

What are some of the skin tone or race related questions that you’ve been asked by a child? One summer I was collecting data in an Appalachian preschool where everyone was white. A sweet little boy walked up to me and asked me why my legs were brown. I could sense that his question made the adults uncomfortable, but I thought that he and his question were adorable. How would you have answered his question?

Addressing the toddler was easy. It was the discomfort of the adults that caught me off guard. Why were the adults uncomfortable with his question? Because they were more than likely taught to be colorblind. Colorblindness is the notion that If we say we don’t see skin color or talk about it, racism will go away and that the person who mentions skin tone or race is racist. I guess colorblindness sounds good in theory, but not only did it make us an empty promise, it left us void of the language and ability to have seemingly simple conversations with children.

You shouldn’t avoid talking with children about skin tone and race. Research shows that because children are developmentally prone to in-group favoritism, shunning conversations about race and skin tone will not produce the desired ‘everyone is equal’ mindset.

Having conversations about skin tone void of shame and discomfort in their early years empowers children with the right language and foundation for engaging in more complex conversations about race when the opportunity presents itself.

Here are some ways to talk with children about skin tone and race. When children talk about skin being brown, peach, pink, etc., they are simply noticing the obvious. The observation of skin tone is not inherently connected to the social, political construct of race. So, when children have questions about skin tone, we don’t need to launch into a civil rights speech right away.

Here is how it plays out in our home. Our family is multi-ethnic—white dad, black mom, and three little girls, currently ranging in ages from four to eight. Because the race concept is complex and confusing (for adults to understand, let alone children) we gave ourselves a language and narrative to acknowledge our five different skin tones (and five different hair textures) without using race terminology like ‘white’ and ‘black.’ Starting from when our oldest was a preschooler, here’s a little of what we do.

We talk about ‘melanin’. Melanin is why our skin tones are different ‘hues of brown.’ Mommy has more or darker melanin. Daddy has lighter or less. We use fun descriptors for our skin tone like ‘sugar cookie, caramel, peanut butter, chocolate.’ We make up songs about our different skin tones and we celebrate them! (SIDE BAR: We talk about our hair in terms of various degrees, ranging from dad’s super straight hair to mommy’s infinitely kinky curly hair. There is no ‘white hair, black hair or ethnic hair.)
We talk about geography and ancestry. Our children’s ancestors who lived closer to the equator have darker melanin and their ancestors who lived further away from the equator have lighter melanin. Having ancestors from Italy, Germany and Africa has contributed to our beautiful ‘hues of brown.’
We talk about the history of race/ism. Around seven years of age, our oldest daughter understood the concept of race. We explained that around 400 years ago, someone divided people by skin color in order to give white people advantages by taking away opportunities for people of color. She read non-fiction children’s books, like Who Was Abraham Lincoln, Meet Addy: An American Girl, Who Was Martin Luther King, Jr., and learned of the atrocities and consequences of racism. As you can imagine, racism upsets children (as it should), so we also talk a lot about hope for the future. If we are educated about race/ism and passionate about change, we can create a better world!

In children, we have the opportunity to cultivate a future overflowing with love, justice, peace, unity and fun. Telling the truth about skin tone and race/ism will only equip and empower them to help get us there.

Related Resources

Your Children See Color—and It’s Beautiful! Here’s Why You Shouldn’t Be Afraid to Talk About It. Online: For Every Mom. Lucretia Berry (2016)

Why White Parents Don’t Talk About Race: Does teaching children about race and skin color make them better off or worse? Nurture Shock: New Thinking About Children. Bronson & Merryman. (2009) Here is a summary.

I am a wife, mother, educator, writer, and speaker. I am passionate about helping people overcome boundaries through spiritual and social consciousness. I love the work of ONEness and am co-creator of Brownicity: The Art & Beauty of Living & Loving Beyond Race, our platform for inspiring, equipping and empowering people to eradicate race ideology.
Lucretia Carter Berry, Ph.D (Curriculum & Instruction)
Brownicity.com

Grand Opening

2015-03-25T08:00:00.001-07:00

What would your life be like if you opened that business or got that new position on your job that you've been wanting.

2 Across In Love And LIfe

2015-01-19T18:45:00.001-08:00

Have you ever met anyone that you found annoyingly attractive? Someone who you would not normally be attracted to because of all their quirks? Maybe they seem instantly repulsive, but at the same time something pulls you in their direction? Or could it be that it seems you are the only two left on Earth OR on the BART transit system?

This romantic comedy promises to reach inside of your personal life and shine a light on those parts you dared to keep hidden. That chance encounter of the perfect stranger where you get to be whomever you want to be to protect yourself from the present danger of things in common like crossword puzzles and love. While protecting yourself from missing another opportunity to marry Mrs. Right. Or to protecting yourself from being drawn in by another man who will leave you out in the cold. Well this hour and a half stage performance proves to each of us that the walls we put up against ‘new’ love are real. Using past pain, regrets, or even degrees are not enough when you run into the one that will cross your path and test your heart strings.

This 2 person performance would seem to be a challenge to pull off, but Mara Rosenberg (Janet) and Phil Robertson (Josh) pull it off nicely. They kept the audience engaged the entire time. The room filled with laughter at every other turn in the play. There was unexpected, heart warming moments on the transit ride that I was sure was going to end with these two strangers never seeing each other again. Then there was the naughty moment with the thought of there being a secret affair by two who were not happy in their current situation. My heart raced as I wondered 'could a kiss with a stranger make it better'? If only for 90 minutes it could.

If you love a good romantic comedy you will enjoy this performance. Rachel Jeffreys, the Director did a wonderful job with this presentation. It will run another weekend at Upstage in NoDa 3306 North Davidson Street, Charlotte, NC 28205. Stop by www.threebonetheatre.com to purchase tickets.