Marquisdejolie On Video

Beth Reorganized

marquisdejolie@gmail.com (Marquisdejolie) — Sun, 13 Dec 2009 07:50:00 +0000

Back from her holiday at the beaches of Dallas, Texas, Beth delves into her paperwork. It takes a lot of paperwork to be Beth.

Tags: white trash, crackers, paperwork, kinfolk, Bethzilla, kin, otherkin, redneck family, marquisdejolie, bipolar, manic, pines, piney woods, east texas

All Quiet Before The Storm

marquisdejolie@gmail.com (Marquisdejolie) — Sun, 13 Dec 2009 07:41:00 +0000

All quiet before the storm, something wicked this way comes. It's Beth. Bethzilla. Bethosaurus Pox.

Tags: storm, pines, piney woods, kinfolk, redneck, family, marquisdejolie, humor, comedy, weird, east texas

Checking For Beth Sign

marquisdejolie@gmail.com (Marquisdejolie) — Tue, 08 Dec 2009 06:50:00 +0000

My sister Beth's been away on holiday and it's been eerily quiet here and I just can't help but to get up several times each night looking/sniffing for Beth sign.

Tags: werewolf, monsters, vampires, new moon, kinfolk, redneck family, eerie, marquisdejolie, humor, comedy, weird, oddball, schnauzer, pets, dog

Cognitively Dissonant Teeth

marquisdejolie@gmail.com (Marquisdejolie) — Mon, 07 Dec 2009 23:28:00 +0000

When you get older, your gums recede and your teeth start looking like werewolf fangs. They call it "getting long in the tooth".

Tags: werewolf fangs, teeth, cognitive dissonant, dissonance, art, photoshop animation, marquisdejolie, dental humor, humor, funny teeth, comedy, weird, oddball, sharp teeth

I Think I've Got It

marquisdejolie@gmail.com (Marquisdejolie) — Sat, 05 Dec 2009 02:10:00 +0000

I was playing around on my clamshell Mac and I made this little animation about the inspirational moment of satori.

Tags: cartoon, comic art, animation, animated, marquisdejolie, arts, satori, inspiration, eureka, humor, comedy, farce, spoof, weird, oddball, Photoshop

Right There With You

marquisdejolie@gmail.com (Marquisdejolie) — Sat, 05 Dec 2009 01:53:00 +0000

It looks like momma and my sister Beth are gonna be locking horns for all eternity, first here, then down in Hell.

Tags: elder abuse, Hades, hell, damnation, eternity, addicts, addiction, drug fiend, fiending, spoiled brat, momma, momma's monster, selfish bitch, redneck, redneckery, cracker, marquisdejolie, dysfunctional family

Beth Threatens More Beth

marquisdejolie@gmail.com (Marquisdejolie) — Sat, 05 Dec 2009 01:16:00 +0000

When all other manipulations fail, Beth calls momma a drug fiend and threatens her with more Beth.

Tags: drugged, drug addict, addiction, drug fiend, fiending, spoiled brat, momma's monster, redneck, redneckery, crackers, marquisdejolie, family, screamer, abuse, abusive

Methamphetaqueen

marquisdejolie@gmail.com (Marquisdejolie) — Thu, 03 Dec 2009 10:26:00 +0000

Ode to the Meth Queens

Tags: meth, methamphetamine, meth queen, meth head, tweeker, tweaker, tweeked, tweaked out, drug addled, drug addicts, out there, crackhead, crackheads, methheads, ode to meth

Wild Goose Chases

marquisdejolie@gmail.com (Marquisdejolie) — Mon, 30 Nov 2009 00:05:00 +0000

My sister Beth keeps showing up at places uninvited: the doctors, her lawyer's. They turn Beth away. But momma's getting tired of driving Beth around town on all these wild goose chases.

Tags: selfish, selfishness, self-centered, codependency, codependent, spoiled brat, driver, momma, redneck, redneckery, crackers, marquisdejolie, family

Best CyberMonday Online Deals

marquisdejolie@gmail.com (Marquisdejolie) — Sun, 29 Nov 2009 23:51:00 +0000

Best CyberMonday Online Deals & Websites for 2009

Posted using ShareThis
2009, best, cyber, cybermonday, deals, discount, electronic, free, monday, shipping, websites

Beth Makes Dinner!

marquisdejolie@gmail.com (Marquisdejolie) — Fri, 27 Nov 2009 22:40:00 +0000

Out of the blue and with no warning whatsoever, my sister Beth makes me dinner. You better believe I checked it for arsenic.

Tags: Bethzilla, siblings, sister, suspicious kindness, Bethosaurus, dinner, food, cooking snacks, redneck, rednecked, redneckery, crackers, marquisdejolie, family

My Aging Animal Spirits

marquisdejolie@gmail.com (Marquisdejolie) — Thu, 26 Nov 2009 01:25:00 +0000

My animal spirits keep getting bigger, more exotic, and slower. But when the world ends in 2012, my animal spirit is going to fly me out of here. A poem.

Animal Spirits
by Jolie Blond
01/28/02

People who want to stick their noses in your soul
or play touchy feely psych games
ask you what animal you'd be
if you weren't the standing up, whinning kind.

Over the years
I have gone from dog
to wolf
to brown bear
to rhino.

As I get older
my animal spirit
gets bigger . . .
and more exotic . . .
and slower.

This keeps up
and by the year 2005,
I'll be
a fire-breathing dragon.

The fire breathing part
has already started.

Tags: animal spirits, 2012, exotic, older seniors, spoken word, poetry, poem, marquisdejolie, poet

Behind The Brown Door, PT2

marquisdejolie@gmail.com (Marquisdejolie) — Mon, 23 Nov 2009 03:50:00 +0000

Later on that night, after much shut-up and counter-shut-ups, the ugly noises behind my brown door began to subside.

Tags: country kinfolk, countrified, family problem, medication, over medicated, meds, frightening sister, argument, arguing, piney woods, east Texas, marquisdejolie, redneck, door, drug addicts, fiend, fiends, drug fiends, fiending

Behind The Brown Door

marquisdejolie@gmail.com (Marquisdejolie) — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 07:23:00 +0000

Every night, especially on weekends, I keep hearing these strange and ugly noises coming from the other side of my bedroom door and I have to wonder: is it monsters? Or kinfolk?

Tags: monsters, kinfolk, kin, family, drug addict, drug addiction, drugee, crackhead, frightening argument, arguing, piney woods, east Texas, marquisdejolie, redneck, behind the green door

Procrastination

marquisdejolie@gmail.com (Marquisdejolie) — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 02:12:00 +0000

By John Kelly

Tags: procrastination, avoidance, putting it off, john kelly

We All Got The Fleas

marquisdejolie@gmail.com (Marquisdejolie) — Thu, 19 Nov 2009 08:13:00 +0000

One day my sister Beth shaved under her armpits without warning us.....and we all got fleas. So I had to shave the dog.

Tags: fleas, lice, louse, bugs, bug infesrted, buggy, playing possum, piney woods, east Texas, marquisdejolie, redneck, rednecked, redneckery, personal hygene, personal sanitation

Hiring A Little Stoolie

marquisdejolie@gmail.com (Marquisdejolie) — Tue, 17 Nov 2009 21:35:00 +0000

Right before Beth passes out while babysitting her granddaughter Loki, I talk my grand niece into doing stoolie work for me on Beth's in-house smoking.

Tags: stoolie, stool pigeon, tattletale, undercover, passing out, blackout, passed out, drunk, drunkard, alkie, piney woods, east Texas, marquisdejolie, redneck, redneckery, boozer, kids, drunk babysitter, drunken sitter

Beth In Repose

marquisdejolie@gmail.com (Marquisdejolie) — Tue, 17 Nov 2009 08:17:00 +0000

Beth takes a moment to bask in the warmth of taxpayer sponsorship. She gets SSI disability, Medicaid, Unemployment benefits, food stamps and welding school loans and grants. Life is sweet.

Tags: welfare state, entitlements, medicaid cheaters, taxpayers, piney woods, east Texas, SSI disability, redneck, redneckery, redneckeries, TSTC, grants, welfare fraud

Beth Outs Momma

marquisdejolie@gmail.com (Marquisdejolie) — Sun, 15 Nov 2009 21:28:00 +0000

Beth tries to blackmail momma into giving up some recreational drugs by calling momma's best friend, Churchlady Irene, and spilling the family beans about momma's Xanax addiction. An episode of my Refrigerator Top series.

Tags: blackmail, drug addiction, creepy people, creepy sister, Beth Petersen, addicts, blackmailer, abuse of the elderly, piney woods, east Texas, Bethzilla, marquisdejolie, redneck family, dysfunctional family, evil kinfolk

Bethzilla's Bluster

marquisdejolie@gmail.com (Marquisdejolie) — Sun, 15 Nov 2009 04:49:00 +0000

Before the new fridge came, Beth managed the old one like she manages everything, through uninformed declaration and proclamation. "It works fine. Spoiled food won't hurt you. Cheese is supposed to be brown. What, me worry?" A flash from the past.

Tags: flash, flasher, fridge, refrigerator, refrigeration, fat ugly sister, mean sister, reefer, piney woods, east Texas, Bethzilla, marquisdejolie, redneck, family dysfunctional, stupid sister, ignorant redneck, drug addict

You're Getting Better

marquisdejolie@gmail.com (Marquisdejolie) — Sat, 14 Nov 2009 20:32:00 +0000

You're Getting Better, by Ken Nordine

Tags: Jazz, Ken Nordine, You're Getting Better, viral video, spoken word, marquisdejolie

Don't Chase Viral Video Dream, Says YouTube Superstar

marquisdejolie@gmail.com (Marquisdejolie) — Sat, 14 Nov 2009 18:13:00 +0000

Don't chase viral video dream, says YouTube superstar

Posted using ShareThis

Tags: Nalts, viral video genius, viral video, viral video dream, Youtube superstar, chasing dreams

Vlogging About My Half Mouth Syndrome

marquisdejolie@gmail.com (Marquisdejolie) — Fri, 13 Nov 2009 11:36:00 +0000

I'm playing a game with myself. For every new video I put up, I get to delete an old one from back in 2005 or 2006. But back to Half Mouth Syndrome:

http://dailybooth.com/u/y438

Tags: vlog, vlogging, vloggers, spoof, marquisdejolie

A Vintage Computer Collection In His Loft

marquisdejolie@gmail.com (Marquisdejolie) — Wed, 11 Nov 2009 21:30:00 +0000

Youtube videographer Loftbits says

"Have been collecting them for years and finally managed to prepare a 'decent' place (my loft) to get some of them out of their boxes... A bit of this, a bit of that - portables, luggables, pocket ones, 8-bit and 16-bit, from the West Side of the former 'Iron Curtain' (Sinclairs, Amstrads, IBMs, Sharp, Toshiba, Schneider and likes) and from the East one (Polish Meritum, Elwro, CA80, Unipolbrit, Czech Didaktik, Russian Lviv and others).

Vintage computers - for some, they are just a pile of junk, but some do recognise the subtle hint of digital nostalgia emanating from those old 'bit counters'. I dedicate this video to all those who, like me, enjoy seeing the 'old junk' up and running. Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you: the LoftBits!"

Tags: science and technology, old vintage computers, sinclair zx, spectrum, amstrad, ibm, mera, meritum, elwro, unipolbrit, polbrit, apina, timex 5150, didaktik, attic toys, lofty designs

Too Big To Fail

marquisdejolie@gmail.com (Marquisdejolie) — Wed, 11 Nov 2009 04:56:00 +0000

Image by John Kannenberg via Flickr

My big fat lazy good for nothing sister gets SSDI disability, Medicaid, food stamps, unemployment checks and welding school grants and loans. She's deep deep deep into the federal government's pocket. She is, in fact, to big to fail.

Tags: welfare, welfare state, medicaid cheat, federal fraud, white trash, rednecks, redneckery, too big to fail, marquisdejolie