Valentines day best gift idea

Valentine's Day gift ideas: Surprise you love in a surprising way

2012-02-11T17:01:00.001-08:00

Valentine's Day is coming up on Tuesday, and those of you without a plan are running out of time quickly.

Stay calm! We've got 14 ideas that will make you look good on Feb. 14.

Just find the one you think your honey will appreciate the most and get going. No time to waste!

1. Craft your own chocolate covered strawberries for your sugar pie.

Good news, guys. Chocolate covered strawberries are so easy to make that if you do somehow manage to mess them up, your lady will probably just find it that much more adorable.

Just melt some chocolate chips in everyone's favorite appliance, the microwave, and get to dipping.

Want to really go for the gold? Stick those bad boys on decorative sticks to create your very own fruit bouquet.

2. Put together a personal gift basket for your snuggle bunny.

Do you date a girl who enjoys crafting? What about a guy who loves movies? Assemble everything you can think of relating to whatever interests your special someone has, put it in a basket, wrap it up and call it a day.

3. Make a mix tape for your munchkin.

Somewhere along the way, mix tapes have gotten a bad reputation for being too mushy. Don't be fooled, every girl loves a good mix of love songs and I'm pretty sure guys secretly do, too.

Need some ideas? Check out this Valentine's Day playlist.

4. Write a love letter for your lovebug.

Like the mix tape, a love letter is a classic way to show how you feel. It's the thought that counts on this so it's okay if you use every cliché statement in existence, just as long as your valentine really is the wind beneath your wings.

Want to go big? Post your letter on al.com. It's bound to get you a few brownie points and it's the perfect spot for a public proclamation of love.

5. Put together a scrapbook for your honeybear.

We all learned how to handle a pair of scissors in our childhood. Put your elementary school education to work and put together a book with a few pics of you and your sweetie. You get bonus points for decorative doodling.

6. Get your babycakes some tickets.

Hey, remember those interests we referred to earlier in the gift basket section? Bank on them by getting tickets. Everyone has a favorite band, sports team, play, etc. You guys can enjoy it together. It's a win/win!

7. Make your darling some dinner.

There are a lot of simple recipes out there. Find one that looks manageable and give it a shot. What's the worst that could happen? Nothing a little take-out can't fix.

8. Join a class with your cutie pie.

The classes out there are endless. Don't like dancing? Join a pottery class. C'mon, everyone has wanted to re-enact "Ghost" at least once in their life. Admit it.

Whatever you decide, signing you and your loved one up for a class is a great way to show you enjoy spending time with them.

9. Give your sweetie a spa day.

Spa days are not just for girls anymore. With male facials on the rise, even guys like to be pampered sometimes. At the very least, no guy would be disappointed with a free massage.

10. Sign your boobear up for a beer club.

If your dude loves brews, sign him up for a beer club. It'll remind him on a monthly basis just how awesome you are. If your lady appreciates a good lager, sign her up and hope she'll share.

11. Create some coupons for your sweetcheeks.

Sure, it's been done before, but surely you can think of a few ways to put your own spin on it. Either way, these are easy to make and most everyone enjoys receiving them.

And for those couples interested in really trying something new, there's always affair permission slips. I guess it's not cheating if you've got a coupon for it.

12. Bring your pookie breakfast in bed.

You don't even have to make the breakfast. Go out, grab their favorite breakfast items, place them nicely on a plate and rouse your loved one from their peaceful slumber. Only a few hours in and you'll already have Valentine's Day on lock.

13. Nothing says love like a national championship.

This is Alabama so there's a good chance you're dating a Crimson Tide fan. There's no shame in cashing in on the obvious, so if a Bama lover has your heart, give them something to make theirs flutter: a BCS National Championship Valentine gift set. If your sports fan bleeds a color other than crimson, you can still look for memorabilia covered in their favorite team's logo.

14. Organize a flashmob for your honeytart.

OK, so this one may seem a little crazy, but so is love, am I right? Just think, you could become an internet sensation!

Which of these ideas is your favorite? Any great gift ideas not listed here? What are you hoping to receive from your honeybunch on Feb. 14? Let us know in the comments below.

Doc Love: The Real Reason She Broke Up With You

2012-02-10T22:55:00.021-08:00

This week, Doc Love, author of "TheSystem," explains how women can lose interest over time.

Reader Question

Hey Doc, I’m having a confusing andfrustrating week due to my breakupwith Scarlett. I’m 27 and she’s 21, and we’ve known each other for five years, but we’ve only been dating for two months. I admire your coaching, and Iintend to buy your book. Before dating me, Scarlett had afour-year relationship that she broke off because she felt that it wasn’t goinganywhere. We clicked completely and found that we shared lots of interests, had greatchemistry, cared for one another, and pretty much were compatible in every way. The problems began when I was invited to her aunt’s house for dinner. Scarlettshowed up late and actedextremely cold to me. This was a side of her I never saw before. I kept to myselfmost of the night because I felt stranded in an awkward position. Finally she sat me downin a secluded room and told me that she was breaking up with me because she couldn’t see a future for us. She threw in that I don’t motivate her enoughand she felt that we were going to end up being lazy, fat people on the couch. (By theway, neither of us is overweight, and I go to the gym faithfully.) She then commentedthat we are not compatible and that nothing can fix it. I told her I wasn’taccepting that answer because she wasn’t making sense. She then commented that Iwas the greatest but she’s not, and that I should find someone else. My heart wasbroken. After about a week I sent her an emailasking her to clarify the reason she suddenly broke up with me. I told her that I waswilling to work on any issues we might have if she’s willing to and that I feltthat we really had something awesome going. I asked her to think about it and to get back to me. Through mutual friends I know she didn’t go back to her ex.A few days later Scarlett replied that she just felt weweren’t compatible but gave no reason why. She added that maybe we could be friends again or possibly go back to what we had. Doc, I’m totally lost. Our relationship was great. I kept Scarlett interested, Iwasn’t needy and I didn’t see any compatibility issues. I really likeScarlett and would love to continue dating her, but I just don’t understand herpoint of view. Is she still hung up on her ex? Why did she suddenly turn cold on me? Isshe confused about what she really wants in a relationship? Am I the problem? Whycouldn’t she have talked to me about these issues before breaking myheart? Gibby - who feels likecrying

doc love’s response

Hi Gibby, The first problem you’ve gotis that you’re involved with 21-year-old girl. And if you knew my book -- which youdon’t -- you’d understand that between the ages of 18 to 22,girls fall in and out of love every five minutes. You should bedating a 24-to-27-year-old. When Scarlett froze you out at heraunt’s house, you should have just walked out. You should have thanked the lady forher hospitality and hit the bricks. Like my cousin Fast Eddie Love from East L.A. says,“Once I’m dissed, I walk.” When Scarlett announced that she saw no future for the two of you, you should have said,“You know, that’s exactly what I was thinking,” and added, “Wehad a great run.” Then you should have got up and walked straight out and nevertalked to her again. Then, most importantly, you should have immediately gotten my book-- which you don’t have, and which you just “might” buy -- and figuredout why Scarlett dumped you.Doc Love continues, next...

by Doc Love Published:

Why Men Lie To Women

2012-02-10T22:55:00.019-08:00

For centuries, women have beentrying to figure out why men constantly lie -- especially in the courtship phase. A new study by a dating coach/pickup artist website PUA Training has finally got theanswer. (Or an answer. It's not exactly a Harvard study.)Apparently, a staggering amount of men lie about their financialstability in order to appeal to the opposite sex. The figures show that 79.3% of guysmislead girls when it comes to money, jobs and their income. Even if the numbers are a little bit skewed since that site'sdemographic is mostly males who need assistance, the reality is that many men think along these lines. Males love to embellish, brag and exaggerate who they are because theybelieve that material things impresswomen -- even though bombshells like her,her andher continuallystate they are looking for more authentic qualities. The good news is that most of the men in this study admit they don’t likethe deceit. 67% would rather tell the truth if they felt it was good enough. Welcome to reality. Women use makeup to embellish their looksand men use lies to embellish their image. It’s not right, but it’s just theway the game is played.

by Dave Golokhov Published:

How To Land A One-Night Stand

2012-02-10T22:55:00.017-08:00

Have you always wanted to go on a date, sleep with the woman immediately and never see heragain? Do you find yourself at the bar on a Friday night looking around and wondering howto land that one-nightstand? Here are three ways of pulling it off.

Situation No. 1: On A Date

Let's say you're on a date and you like her, but you know you don't like her enough to beyour girlfriend. You know that you don't want to spend the next month pretending to likeher, pretending to want to have a relationship with her, just so you can get in herpants.So, here you go: You're laughing with her, you're having a good time,and then it all comes down to the crucial moment: How do you tell this beautiful woman sitting across fromyou that you do not want a relationship but would like to sleep with her?Thisis what I'd do: Look directly in her eyes and do not break eye contact. Then say this:"Listen, I'm not looking for a relationship right now. I think you're wonderful, butI’ve got to tell you that I know I can't give you what you need right now, andthere's no reason for us to do the dance. But I do find you intriguing, really alluringand incredibly sexy, and I would love to spend the night with you tonight and show youexactly how I feel right now."Do not break eye contact at this moment becausethis is going to tell whether you're strong and not afraid, and it's also going to showher that you're a guy who's done this before and you're going to give her a goodtime. She might hem, she might haw a little bit, and she might say,“Well I'm not really looking for a one-night stand.” That's when you look ather again and say this: "I'm honest. I really don't like to play games at all. I couldhave lied to you, and I could have told you I wanted a relationship. I could have pursuedyou like a lot of guys do, just to get into your pants, and then leave you confused when Idon't call. But I have to tell you I am so intrigued by what you feel like. I can't stopthinking about how you and I would be together, because I know just by looking at youthere are a lot of things that I can do to make you feel unbelievable tonight. And Ireally would like that opportunity to do that right now."Once again, do nothesitate. The choice is hers. If she says no, look at her and tell her you understand andrespect that. Leave it at that. You might run into her a few weeks later, and she might bein the mood -- and you've already planted the seed.

Situation No. 2: At The Bar

So, you're at a bar and you're looking around. You find the one woman who keeps breakingaway from her friends. She's constantly breaking for the bathroom, going to the barherself to get a drink. She’s basically turning her back on the group and looking atdifferent men.What she's doing is trying to find the guy who she can eitherget a date with or have a fling with. What you need to do is become very playful with her.Call her out on what she's doing. Walk by and say, “I know what you're doingtonight, and I know what you're looking for. I've been watching you. I'll beback.” Leave a little bit of intrigue. About 10 minutes later, whisper in herear and say, “What was wrong with that guy? Was that guy not the one for you for thenight? I know you're interviewing tonight; I can see it.”More tipson how to score a one-night stand, next...

by David Wygant Published:

How To Handle Your Secret Fantasies

2012-02-10T22:55:00.015-08:00

Is It Strange To Have Secret Furry Fantasies?

Doc Chaves,One of my secretfantasies is furries and being a character who has sex. I was wondering if you knowanything about this and if you could give me some guidance on what to do. I don’tfeel OK at all with telling people, but at the same time I keep thinking about it andwant to know if more people are out there like me. -AnonymousFurry lifestyle is a growing sexual genre that has become more popular inthe mainstream in recent years. People who are into furries are sometimes called furrylifestylers and essentially are folks who gravitate toward animated, fictional charactersor animals with human qualities and personalities. Some do it for fun enjoyment reasonsand others do it for similar reasons with an added sexual flavor. As with most aspects of human pleasure,diversity wins and people have identified sexual components to their furriness. People enjoy furries from a sexual perspective for a varietyof reasons. Some like the anonymity and being able to express themselves in a manner that’s different from their real-life persona. Others are aroused by the animalistic outfits and turned on by the sexualized aspects of roleplay or theirpartners’ furry characteristics. Some like to keep things online and computerized,while others enjoy role-playing in animal suits made for arousal and to express theirerotic urges sexually. There are even furry erotic movies. Furryexpression is a wonderful way to express creative fantasy urges in a safe and harmless manner. One common misconception is that these people have some underlying mental healthissue; there’s no evidence to suggest this. Another false belief is they enjoyactual sexual contact with animals, which is totally incorrect.I would encourage you to safely explore your desires and have some fun with this. There are online social communities, such as Furry 4 Life and FurNation, kindof like Furry Facebooks. There are also conventions such as Anthrocon in Pittsburgh andCalifur in Southern California to meet people and find a sense of belonging andcommunity. One recent online survey found that one-third of respondents had a significantsexual interest in furries and almost half had a minor sexual interest. Although wedon’t have accurate prevalence rates, we are likely talking about tens of thousandsof people in this country who get aroused by the furry culture. I’m certainthere’s someone out there for you if you start to create possibilities.Doc Chaves gives more tips, next...

by Dr. Hernando Chaves Published:

What Hot Women Really Want In A Guy

2012-02-10T22:55:00.013-08:00

Here at AskMen, we’re all about helping guys. But sometimes advice from one dudeto another can only go so far. That’s why we decided to go straight to the source tofind out what the world's hottest women actually expect from us.Thisweek, we asked actress, Attack of the Show! co-host and Top 99er CandaceBailey, whose girl-next-door beauty impresses gamers and regular humans alike, what shelooks for in guys. What’s the best complimentanyone’s ever given you?Recently, a childhood friend'sfather told me that I am the exact same person I've always been. That meant a lot to me,because so many people in this business forget who they are and where they came from. I amwho I am because of my upbringing.What’s the biggest groomingmistake a guy could make?I once dated this guy who had amazing hair.I loved his hair. Then one day I met up with him, and his hair was gone. Allgone! He completelybuzzed it all off! Now, lots of guys look good with a buzzed head, but he was not oneof those guys. If you are thinking about drastically changing your hair, maybe mention itbefore you do it.Biggest turn-on in a guy?Ialways love a guy who can make me laugh and who can be a goofball with me. I'm a nut, andI need someone who won't judge that but will join in with me.Biggestturnoff?My biggest turnoff in a guy is someone who tries so hard toimpress, be it through money, job, connections, etc. I want a guy who is real and whodoesn't take himself too seriously. And don't even get me started on name-dropping! If aguy I'm on a date with starts dropping names, I immediately check out.What jewelry is acceptable for men to wear? I don'tmind jewelry on guys. Rings, bracelets, a necklace, a watch. I'm really fine with orwithout any jewelry. If you like wearing a necklace, wear the necklace. If the girl has aproblem with it, she's probably the wrong girl for you. You want to be able to be who youare without worrying about whether or not the girl is gonna like it. Now, if the guy wearsan anklet or a toe ring, that's an entirely different story!Would youdate a guy who makes less than it would take to comfortably support a family? I absolutely would. I don't date a guy based on what kind of money hemakes; I base it on what kind of person he is. Obviously, every girl wants to be takencare of in a way, but if he's the guy I think I could end up with, and he has ambition,anything can be figured out. Besides, I love what I do, and I plan on continuing to work,even when I have kids.What’s sexier: Macho alpha male or scruffybeta?That's a hard one. Both are sexy. I'm generally drawn to thealpha male a little more, but there's something so sexy about a scruffy beta. I can'tchoose.Who should pay on the first date?The guy. If a guy asks me out on a date, he should pay for it --especially a first date. I'm a little old-school when it comes to that. The guy is givingoff a first impression, and you want it to be a good one. However, I always offer to pay acouple of dates in. Sometimes I'll pay, sometimes we'll go Dutch. I have absolutely noproblem paying for myself now and again. I actually think the girl should pay now andagain. It's not fair to the guy to always have to pick up the check. But for the firstdate, the guy should definitely pay!Would you care if a guypicked you up in a garbage-strewn beater? Honestly, it would bea little bit of a turnoff. I don't care what kind of car the guy drives, but if he doesn'ttake care of his car, or at least gets it all cleaned up for a date, he's not sending avery good message. I want a guy who can take care of himself, and if he can't even takecare of his car, it doesn't seem like there's much luck for the rest of it.One final piece of advice for men in five words or less: Embrace who you are. RELATEDVIDEO: Did She Make Our Top 99 List This Year?

by AskMen Editors Published:

What Really Disappoints Her In Bed

2012-02-10T22:55:00.011-08:00

We’ve all been there: After a fabulous romp that makes you feel like Rocky boundingup that giant staircase, your body suddenly shuts down. Even reaching for the remotecontrol is out of the question, as you feel your mind slipping into blissful post-coitaldreamland. Now a new studylooks at couples where one partner tends to fall asleep immediately after sex. Theresearchers suggest that there could be a psychological reason for the behavior. It seemsthat where there is a sleepy post-coital partner, there tends to be another partnerlonging for bonding and affection. The study’s authors,evolutionary psychologists at the University of Michigan and Albright College inPennsylvania, pose the idea that falling asleep soon after sex might be an indicator thata partner wants to avoid chats about things like commitment. Aclassic intimacy-avoidance tactic, if you will. Sounds like a good theoryto me, except for one other interesting finding. There was no gender dominance to thebehavior. Yup, despite what chicks like to profess, guys are no more likely to conk outafter a lovemaking session than women are. And we all know that avoiding emotional talkthat goes deeper than “How was your day?” is a favorite male hobby.RELATEDVIDEO: Is It OK To Fall Asleep After Sex? The study is entitled "Tendencies To Fall Asleep First After Sex AreAssociated With Greater Partner Desires For Bonding And Affection." Yup, straightforwardenough. It was published in the Journal of Social, Evolutionary, and CulturalPsychology, and it examined 456 survey participants who answered online questions.Then they responded to: "Who falls asleep after sex?" and "Who falls asleep first whengoing to bed not after sex?" Those who had partners who fell into snooze-land right afterhavingsex reported stronger desires for post-coital cuddling and chatting. So, here’s the Dr. Wendy take on the whole mess. First of all, anyone who readsstudies knows that the word “association” does not imply“causation.” In other words, just because two behaviors exist together -- inthis case, sleepiness and longing -- doesn’t mean one causes the other or that theyare related in any way, except that they lie side by side. My knowledgeof human attachment theory shows that when one has an insecure romantic attachment style,he/she tends to choose partners that will fulfill their most-wished for nightmare. Werecreate the familiar, even if it's painful. This study supports that very theory. Peoplewith insecure attachment styles -- those prone to longing and anxiety related to theirintimate relationships -- tend to chose post-coital snoozers. A partner falling asleepsummons up his or her own feelings of longing and abandonment. So, shouldone try harder to stay awake for an insecure partner? No way. But one should definitelytalk about the subject in the bright light of morning and reassure the wakeful partnerthat all is well in relationship land. Love is still in the air.

by Wendy Walsh Published:

Another Reason Why We'll Never Understand Women

2012-02-10T22:55:00.009-08:00

Women work hard to earn a paycheck, but it's not always enough. A new study suggests thatmany women would make some serious sacrifices in return for some help paying bills.Research firm Toluna examined the bill payment behaviors of Americans and foundthat 35% of people struggle to cover their monthly spending. The survey of 1,000 peoplefound that 21% of women would be willing to go without sex for six months in order to havetheir bills covered for one month. But only 16% of men would agree to the same trade.It's unclear what portion of the participants were virgins, married with stale sex lives or just weren't very sexually active.Another option was for survey takers to gain 15 pounds for one month of paid bills, andwomen were far less keen on this option. Only 5% would go for it, with single women even less interested.So what's the No. 1comfort that Americans would give up for one month of bill payments? TV. Up to 25% wouldgive up the tube, followed by 18% willing to put down their mobile phones for a month.

by Dave Golokhov Published:

How Do You Know If She Likes You?

2012-02-10T22:55:00.007-08:00

Always Have A Plan

You shouldn’t be going out with Melody right after a funeral if you are so affectedby it. To you Psych majors, you should be upbeat and positive when you’re out with awoman. And driving around and talking and drifting into a movie theater isn’t adate. It’s only a weak excuse for one. You’re not organized at all, pal. Youshould have had a plan with Melody. The whole idea behind my book is to have and follow agame plan. So apparently you don’t have my materials.You might have felta connection to Melody, my friend, but the important question is whether or not she felt aconnection to you. Or was she just crying on your shoulder because a good friend cashed inhis chips?Kissing Melody all over the place was an error. You shouldn’tbe smooching this babe when you’re coming out of a funeral. Like my cousin RabbiLove says, “You don’t make time with a woman at a funeral. It’s notkosher.” Then you started talking about the future and how you’d like to seeher. Tell me something: Why isn’t Melody texting and phoning you? Why are you doingall the pursuing? You don’t know the first thing about Challenge,Fish.But you claim that you didn’t pressure Melody. No, you just tell her howmuch you like her, that’s all. And while you might not return her calls immediately,you’re blowing Challenge in other areas.

She's Not Into You - Here's Why

Now let me get this straight. You were making out with Melody, then she split to Europefor a week and you didn’t see her for a month and a half. Like my cousin Fast EddieLove from East L.A. says, “Oh, yeah, this chick is really gone over you!” Andby the way, she isn’t supposed to set the date to meet again. The man is thedate-maker. Again, it’s obvious that you don’t have my book.Nowlet me ask you this: What does it tell you that Melody doesn’t respond to yourmessages for two weeks? Well, it must mean that she can’t afford the time since itwould take 20 whole seconds out of her life. That’s a lot to ask a person.It’s like giving someone a book and asking them to read it. Wake up, Fish!But you swear that you’re not a chump and a desperation chaser. Dude, you’vebeen chasingthis girl all along. And when you sent Melody that Facebook message, you were begging.Fish, don’t you think she got your earlier messages? You haven’t a clue, man.In fact, you’re the king of telephone blunders!But Melody had an excusefor not getting back to you: Her uncle died. Like my cousin Sal “The Fish”Love says, “Does this babe come from a mafia family or something?” Yes,you’re wasting your time with Melody. You’ve been wasting your time for twomonths, guy. Melody is not interested in you at all. How can you tell if she likes you asmuch as you like her? Simple -- by reading her actions, not her words. And like the oldChinese saying goes, “Her actions speak volumes.”Remember, guys:If you leave two messages and she doesn’t call back, you’re out.To hear my LOVE RADIO SHOW, send me your love questions or to find out moreabout “The System,” visit me at DocLove.com orcall 800-404-2644. For the past 30 years, Doc Love has asked thousands of women,“Why do you stay with one man vs. another?

by Doc Love Published:

How To Become A More Intelligent Man

2012-02-10T22:55:00.005-08:00

Seinfeld character George Costanza once discovered just how powerful his braincould be if he stopped thinking about sex. Now a new study at Purdue University has confirmed his breakthroughfinding.Researchers examined 42 Indiana high schools, all of which weresimilar in community size, enrollment and racial demographics. Half of the schools offeredan abstinence education program, which encouraged kids to wait until adulthood beforegetting jiggy, and those schools scored higher in the controlled math exam. For each yearthe school had employed the abstinence program, their students’ grades rose by1.5%.The professors concluded that encouraging rational thinking about sex ledto improved marks and fewer teen pregnancies. Their hypothesis works, but we all know whythe grades went up.It’s exactly what Jerry told George: When the brainis preoccupied bysex, the amount of intellect is sapped. If a smaller portion of the brain is focusedon sex, it frees up more room to think about the rest of life.Does that meanour best time to study and learn is post-orgasm?

by Dave Golokhov Published:

The Ground Rules For A Perfect Valentine's Day

2012-02-10T22:55:00.003-08:00

Gentlemen, Valentine’sDay is fast approaching. While it might not be your favorite holiday, the woman inyour life right now feels differently. The only way to make this day not suck for both ofyou is for you to make it amazing. This is the year when you will bring the wood onValentine’s Day. It’s really not that complicated.Romanceis something that I think a lot of couples lack, despite everyone fundamentally desiringit -- especially women. The fundamental rule you need to abide by on Valentine’s Dayis that it’s all about her. There's nothing about you on this day. You've got tobecome the most selfless man out there. You've got to make this day special from beginningto end, regardless of how you feel about Hallmark holidays.To be honest withyou, I think Valentine's Day is a useless holiday. I know I’m not the only guy whofeels this way. Regardless of what we think, women want to feel special on this day. Fromthe second they wake up that morning, they're waiting for their Valentine's Day surprises.They awake in a state of anticipation, like kids on Christmas.If you livetogether and you do nothing in the morning before she go to work, you've already made heranxious. So my suggestion to all of you guys: Wake up earlier. Cook her breakfast, makeher coffee and send her out with coffee to go. Bonus points if you bought some whippedcream the night before and snuck some into her to-go mug.Do something youdon't normally do. That way, when she gets to the office and she hears all the other womensaying “You won’t believe what my husband did,” she'll be able to shareher experience, too.At the office, the flowers from her colleagues' husbandsand boyfriends will start showing up, and all the women are going to be gossiping. So makesure that on Valentine's Day you send her something to the office -- something cute, maybejust a card, or one flower, or maybe just an email with a song. Or maybe you can send hera song about the way you feel about her during the day -- something different, becauseshe's going to be talking to girls all day long.That's what women do -- theytalk. And she doesn't want to feel like you've ignored Valentine's Day, especially infront of her friends. She doesn't want to feel neglected.This Valentine’s Day, forgetabout the reservations and the expensive, mediocre restaurant meal. (Ask any restaurantcook, and they'll admit they’re on autopilot on Valentine’s Day.) Create themost intimate picnic you've ever had at home. The picnic is going to bein your living room. What you're going to do is you're going to light the entire livingroom with candles. You're going to put on some great music, you're going to put rosepetals all along the blanket and in the entrance of your house. You're going to createromance as she walks in. You're going to tell her to be at your house at 7:30 p.m. becauseyou have a surprise for her.Suggest she wear something that makes her feelsexy. She's going to walk in, music will be playing, candles lit all around, and the twoof you are going to sit down in the middle of your living room and have a picnic and abottle of wine. It is by far the most romantic Valentine's Day she will ever have.She will go into that office the very next day and tell all her friends andcolleagues, and they’ll all envy her because they will have sat in crowdedrestaurants with their dates, just like last year. That is how you distinguish yourself onValentine's Day, how you honor the woman in your life and create romance.Forall you single guys, I've got one quick tip for all of you. Before you go into the officeon Valentine's day, buy a box of those little cards that kids pass around in grade school,because everyone loves to get a little something, even if it’s from a friendlyacquaintance. Buy those cards, write your colleagues' name on it and say “HappyValentine's Day! Love, Bill in accounting” or whatever it might be. Be cute and handthem out during the course of the day to the women in the office.They're goingto feel good. They're going to remember it and they're going to look at you differently asthat really cool nice guy who made them feel great about being single on Valentine's Day.If you don't want to do the cards, you can walk around with those little conversationheart candies and you can basically give them out.It's all about being a man.It's all about being honorable, and it's all about making women feel really amazing. Ifyou're single and you want to earn brownie points with the women for the rest of the year,go for it. If you're in a relationship, those brownie points may be even more valuable.

by David Wygant Published:

It's Confirmed: Your Girl Probably Wants To Pull A Scarlett Johansson

2012-02-10T22:55:00.001-08:00

And you thought BlakeLively, MileyCyrus and Rihanna wereexceptions to the rule. As it turns out, sexting is quite popular with the ladies.Harlequin, the popular romance novel publisher, ran a survey with women that reportedthat 43% of women talk dirty through texts. Drilling down into that43%, a whopping two-thirds said they would only send racy messages while in a seriousrelationship, while 35% only need a few dates before they’re ready to startsexting. Meanwhile, 27% of women admitted to sending nude pictures viaemail or text message. It’s become so common that it’s not even embarrassingor career-threatening (for celebrities) to be seen nude. For women like KimKardashian and ParisHilton, it’s actually been a boon for their careers. So much for sugar,spice and everything nice. What started with a raunchy high school girl outfit in BritneySpears’ “Oops!...I Did It Again” video has now transformed the newgeneration of women.

by Dave Golokhov Published:

Why Women Withhold Sex

2012-02-10T22:53:00.001-08:00

<a href="http://ca.askmen.com/dating/love_tip_400/471_reasons-women-withhold-sex.html"> <img src="http://images.askmen.com/dating/love_tip_400/471_reasons-women-withhold-sex-1023074-flash.jpg" alt="Credit: dating/love_tip_400/471_reasons-women-withhold-sex-1023074-flash.jpg" /></a><br /> One of the benefits of being in a long-termrelationship is that you have someone that you can readily depend on for regular sex. Forguys especially, this is a very important part of a <ahref="http://www.askmen.com/dating/player_250/263_the-player-keep-the-heat-without-the-commitment.html"omni_link="commitment">commitment</a> to another person. However, it is precisely when youstart to expect sex from your girlfriend that she starts using that presumption againstyou. Some women make a habit of withholding sex from their partners, while some only do itunder very specific circumstances. To men, this seems like cruel and unusual punishment.Of course, there is a difference between a woman simply not wanting to have sex andpurposefully withholding it. When a woman withholds sex, she’s trying to send amessage. Here are some of the reasons she might cut you off and what you can do aboutit.<h3>She’s pissed</h3>This is probably the most common reason that women withhold sex. If you’ve donesomething that made her furious, she may not be above punishing you by keeping the onething you really, really want out of your reach. The last thing a woman wants to do whenshe’s feeling any kind of negative emotion, whether it’s mad, sad, frustrated,annoyed, stressed, or worn out, is get busy between the sheets. While many guys can turnoff the unpleasant feelings and get down to business, a woman finds it more difficult topush those emotions aside and get aroused. You might be satisfied with angry, violent sex,but she wants to work out her angst before she jumps into bed. The solutionto this is to find out why she’s upset and try to fix it. Sometimes simplyacknowledging that you’ve done something wrong is enough to make her calm down.Other times, the only way to <ahref="http://www.askmen.com/dating/heidi_200/228_dating_girl.html" omni_link="get out ofthe doghouse">get out of the doghouse</a> is to participate in one of those long,heartfelt conversations in which you share feelings.<h3>She’s asserting herself</h3>If she’s keeping the good loving from you, it may be an attempt to assert her powerover you and the relationship. If there’s one area of a relationship women thinkthey have control over, it’s sex. She may just be doing it to show you who’sboss in bed or she may be compensating for feeling powerless in some other aspect of herlife. Maybe she has a cruel boss, a domineering best friend or an overprotectivemother. If you suspect that she’s withholding sex to assert herself,the easiest way to get the carnal door open again is to compliment her sexual abilitiesand prowess. This may seem counterintuitive, but if you acknowledge how much youappreciate her in bed she may realize that trying to prove her status is unnecessary.<h3>She’s manipulating you</h3>Another reason women withhold sex is to get something out of you. When no other methodsof getting what she wants are working, she might resort to revoking your sex privilegesuntil you agree to what she’s after. This will usually be a pretty big thing.Generally, she’s not going to bother holding out on you in order to get you to takeout the garbage. The easiest way to get around this is to give her what shewants. If that’s not a possibility, you’ll have to appeal to her sense ofreason. If that doesn’t work, try giving her something similar to what she wants. Ifyou can’t make that happen, you might have to wait it out and <ahref="http://www.askmen.com/dating/love_tip_300/390_love_tip.html" omni_link="serviceyourself">service yourself</a> until she comes to her senses.<h3>She’s bored</h3>She could be avoiding sex with you because she’s not enjoying it. Some women areembarrassed by the idea of talking about sex with their partners, especially if there is aproblem. So instead of telling you what’s wrong, she might just close up shop. Read on for more reasons women withhold sex... <p> <a href="http://ca.askmen.com/dating/love_tip_400/471_reasons-women-withhold-sex.html">Continue Reading</a> </p>

by Sarah Stefanson

Published:

What Hot Girls Really Look For In Guys

2012-02-10T22:52:00.033-08:00

<a href="http://ca.askmen.com/dating/heidi_600/604_sunny-leone-qa.html"> <img src="http://images.askmen.com/dating/heidi_600/604_sunny-leone-qa-1057262-flash.jpg" alt="Credit: dating/heidi_600/604_sunny-leone-qa-1057262-flash.jpg" /></a><br /> <em>Here at AskMen, we’re all about helping guys. But sometimes advice from onedude to another can only go so far. That’s why we decided to go straight to thesource to find out what the world's hottest women actually expect from us.</em><em>This week, we asked adult actress and soon-to-be Bollywood star <ahref="http://www.askmen.com/celebs/women/models_300/336_sunny_leone.html">Sunny Leone</a>what she looks for in guys. Hopefully her answers make the female sex a little lessmysterious. If anything, we've learned that humble guys aren't necessarily less attractivethan cocky guys. </em><strong>What would you say that women look for most in aguy?</strong>We usually use our minds and hearts when we think about being attracted to aman. When a man is funny and smart and very in tune with women's needs it's a huge plus inany woman's books. Even though we're a real women's rights generation, all women really dowant a gentleman. I think that [the gentleman] is coming back. <strong>Bestcompliment? </strong>It's usually when somebody tells me that I'm not just apretty face. I run my own production company and I always find it very endearing whensomeone says, "Oh wow, you're not just someone who looks good, you're actually a niceperson who's honest and genuine and smart." <strong>What's the biggestgrooming mistake a guy can make?</strong>Shaving everything off. Everywhere.Guys, go get laser. Us girls are so sensitive to everything that comes near our bodies.We're always so soft. Even if we don't shave for a day, we're still soft. It's not likethat coarse, thick hair that gives us razor burn. <strong>What's your biggestturn-on?</strong>Someone who has their own style. I love that. Someone who isreally, really smart, and that doesn't need to be book smart -- smart in their own way.How they talk, how they function, how they run their work life. <strong>What'syour biggest turnoff?</strong>A guy who wears too much <ahref="http://www.askmen.com/fashion/fashiontip_400/416_fashion_advice.html">cologne</a>.<strong>Do you think it's appropriate for men to wear jewelry? </strong>Um, I don't know. I'm the kind of girl that likes a guy that has a sense of stylewith whatever they're doing, whether that's wearing necklaces, bracelets, earrings,whatever. So if it's part of their sense of style, that's fine. <strong>Wouldyou date a guy who made less money than could comfortably support a family? </strong>When you're with somebody you have to be compatible in every way. If I had aboyfriend who worked his ass off, but didn't make as much, I think I'd respect that. <strong>Who's sexier: the macho Alpha guy or the scruffy Beta guy?</strong>I like the scruffy guys better than the jock.<strong>Who should pay onthe first date? </strong>A man. I always offer, that's always been my thing,but deep down inside I'd expect him to do that. I come from an old-school mentality.That's what my dad would do, my grandpa would do, my brother would do. I was just broughtup in a way where that's what a man should do, at least on the first date anyway. <strong>Would you care if a guy picked you up for a date in a garbage-strewnbeater? </strong>If that's the only car he had, then I guess that would befine! I obviously like him if I'm going on a date with him. He might have a <ahref="http://www.askmen.com/cars/galleries/maserati-grancabrio-sport.html">Maserati</a> inhis garage and he's just testing me out. <p> <a href="http://ca.askmen.com/dating/heidi_600/604_sunny-leone-qa.html">Continue Reading</a> </p>

by AskMen Editors

Published:

The 15 Relationship Rules We Can All Agree On

2012-02-10T22:52:00.031-08:00

<a href="http://ca.askmen.com/dating/dating_advice_600/647_rules-in-a-relationship.html"> <img src="http://images.askmen.com/dating/dating_advice_600/647_rules-in-a-relationship-1057333-flash.jpg" alt="Credit: dating/dating_advice_600/647_rules-in-a-relationship-1057333-flash.jpg" /></a><br /> Are you versed in the most important relationship rules? The ones that make or break, theones that determine how many computer viruses you're getting, the ones that could even,potentially, get your uncle to stop pulling you aside, saying, "You know you can tell meanything." If not -- and it's not as easy as it sounds -- we found a dozen orso that we can all agree on, taken from today's Twitter trend <a target="_blank"href="https://twitter.com/#%21/search/%23RulesInARelationship">#<b>RulesInARelationship.</b></a>-<a href="https://twitter.com/#%21/LiteSkinTatted"id="internal-source-marker_0.26559261359614406">LiteSkinTatted</a>-<a href="https://twitter.com/#%21/iadorewomen_"id="internal-source-marker_0.26559261359614406">iadorewomen_</a>-<a href="https://twitter.com/#%21/AndreasBoxx_"id="internal-source-marker_0.26559261359614406">AndreasBoxx_</a>-<a href="https://twitter.com/#%21/RealCurlyCee"id="internal-source-marker_0.26559261359614406">RealCurlyCee</a>-<a href="https://twitter.com/#%21/hoodiesnheels"id="internal-source-marker_0.26559261359614406">hoodiesnheels</a>-<a href="https://twitter.com/#%21/TheeTomHardy"id="internal-source-marker_0.26559261359614406">TheeTomHardy</a>-<a href="https://twitter.com/#%21/RealCurlyCee"id="internal-source-marker_0.26559261359614406">RealCurlyCee</a>- <ahref="https://twitter.com/#%21/_Snape_">_Snape_</a>-<ahref="https://twitter.com/#%21/VinnyGraham">VinnyGraham</a>-<a href="https://twitter.com/#%21/rubbdingyrapids"id="internal-source-marker_0.26559261359614406">rubbdingyrapids</a>-<a href="https://twitter.com/#%21/D_Brilliance"id="internal-source-marker_0.26559261359614406">D_Brilliance</a>-<a href="https://twitter.com/#%21/DPrizzy"id="internal-source-marker_0.26559261359614406">DPrizzy</a><ahref="https://twitter.com/#%21/DPrizzy"id="internal-source-marker_0.26559261359614406"></a>-<a href="https://twitter.com/#%21/Gentlemenhood"id="internal-source-marker_0.26559261359614406">Gentlemenhood</a>-<a href="https://twitter.com/#%21/Amant_La_Chatte"id="internal-source-marker_0.26559261359614406">Amant_La_Chatte</a>-<a href="https://twitter.com/#%21/DaRealStatic"id="internal-source-marker_0.26559261359614406">DaRealStatic</a><em>Check out our <ahref="http://www.askmen.com/dating/curtsmith_600/642_regrets-2011.html#ixzz1kgIhzMrk">#2011RegretsYou Should Make Sure Never Happen To You</a> and <ahref="http://www.askmen.com/dating/dating_advice_600/645_30waystomakeagirlsmile.html">#30WaysToMakeAGirlSmile</a>for more advice from Twitter.</em><ahref="http://www.askmen.com/dating/dating_advice_600/645_30waystomakeagirlsmile.html#ixzz1kyZ7BRtG"></a> <p> <a href="http://ca.askmen.com/dating/dating_advice_600/647_rules-in-a-relationship.html">Continue Reading</a> </p>

by AskMen Editors

Published:

The Biggest Mistakes Guys Make On Dating Sites

2012-02-10T22:52:00.029-08:00

<a href="http://ca.askmen.com/dating/dating_advice/40_dating_tips.html"> <img src="http://images.askmen.com/dating/dating_advice/40_dating_tips-909671-flash.jpg" alt="Credit: dating/dating_advice/40_dating_tips-909671-flash.jpg" /></a><br /> Derek Cajun worksfor <a href="http://www.lovesystems.com/">Lovesystems</a> as a dating coach, and is a freelance writer & actor on theside. This is an excerpt from his new book<em>, </em><em><a target="_blank"href="http://www.gentlemans-online-dating-guide.com/b/">The Gentleman's Guide To OnlineDating</a>. </em><h3>1. Forever alone</h3>When choosing the pictures to use on your dating site profile, be sure to includepictures where you're having fun with others. Nothing says “possible weirdo”like a profile with nothing but shots of yourself completely alone. Women will assume youhave no friends, and no options. Don't feel the need to include photos of yourself allover other women either. All it really says is that you felt the need to include it, andthat you're either a player or a horn-dog. <strong>Pro-tip: Try incorporating at least one picture where you're the center ofattention in a group of people.</strong><h3>2. Bad shots</h3>Your photos communicate who you are, and on <ahref="http://www.askmen.com/dating/dating_advice_200/232_dating_tips.html">datingsites</a> they're almost always the first thing a woman sees, so make sure you look your best in your main profile picture. Wear clothes that best communicate who you are, makesure <a href="http://www.askmen.com/fashion/trends_700/727_mens-hairstyles-2012.html">yourhair</a> is nice, you should be centered in the frame and use a shallow focus ifpossible. <strong>Pro-tip: Don't look at the camera!Studies have shown that women are more likely to click on a man's profile if he's notlooking at the camera in his photo.</strong><h3>3. It's not an interview</h3>Your “about me” in your profile shouldn't be a list of likes/dislikes, factsabout you, or things you're looking for in a woman. That's boring! Try to communicateyour personality in your write-up. Be descriptive! Tell a funny story that explains thetype of person you are or describe <ahref="http://www.askmen.com/top_10/travel/top-10-all-time-adventure-vacation-deals.html">anadventure you could both go on</a>! Give them something to comment on so if they'reinterested in you, messaging you will be that much easier. <strong>Pro-tip: Make sure your spelling and punctuation are correct. Terrible grammarcan be a big turn off for some women.</strong><h3>4. Terrible messages</h3>Your first message can make or break you, so put some thought into it. Short sms-stylemessages are not the way to go here, and neither are long, drawn out diatribes about howmuch you have in common with each other. Try to evoke an emotional reaction out of herwith your messages, and keep it fun! She may get dozens of messages a day -- try to makeyours stand out. <strong>Pro-tip: Using humor is a greatway to relieve the tension of the first message. Try inviting her to come along on amade-up activity like robbing a bank or stealing a pirate ship, be creative!</strong><h3>5. Get her off the site!</h3>Don't wait for the communication to fizzle by playing email tag back and forth on adating site. Try to get her on the phone after a few messages and get to know her forreal. Don't rush to set a date up -- women often want to make sure they can feelcomfortable around you before they'll agree to a meet. Chat programs like skype are alsoa great way to have a more personal method of communication.<strong>Pro-tip: Don't be too formal with setting up the date. Often“going for a drink” at a hip local bar or restaurant is an easylow-investment date that won't break the bank for you.</strong> <p> <a href="http://ca.askmen.com/dating/dating_advice/40_dating_tips.html">Continue Reading</a> </p>

by Derek Cajun

Published:

What Hot Women Really Want In A Guy

2012-02-10T22:52:00.027-08:00

<a href="http://ca.askmen.com/dating/heidi_600/605_arianny-celeste-qa.html"> <img src="http://images.askmen.com/dating/heidi_600/605_arianny-celeste-qa-1057342-flash.jpg" alt="Credit: dating/heidi_600/605_arianny-celeste-qa-1057342-flash.jpg" /></a><br /> <em>Here at AskMen, we’re all about helping guys. But sometimes advice from one dudeto another can only go so far. That’s why we decided to go straight to the source tofind out what the world's hottest women actually expect from us.</em><em>UFCring girl and</em><em> host of </em>Ultimate Insider <em>Arianny Celestelet usin on what she wants from a guy, how she feels about making our <a target="_self"href="http://www.askmen.com/specials/2012_top_99/">Top 99 Most Desirable Women of2012</a> and her time as a ring girl.</em><h3>Arianny Celeste On The Top 99</h3><strong>What do you think got you on the <ahref="http://www.askmen.com/specials/2012_top_99/">Top 99</a> list?</strong>Ithink the fact that I’m so active on social networks and very connected with my fansis probably the driving factor that got me on the list.<strong>Who would youlike to see on the <a href="http://www.askmen.com/specials/2012_top_99/">Top99</a>?</strong><ahref="http://www.askmen.com/celebs/women/actress_100/135_mila_kunis.html">Mila Kunis</a>and <a target="_self"href="http://www.askmen.com/celebs/women/actress_60/61_jessica_alba.html">Jessica Alba</a>should definitely make the list. <strong>What other kind or type of listwould you like to see yourself on?</strong>I’d like to see myself onsome kind of accomplishment- or entrepreneur-type of list, simply because I’ve builteverything on my own and worked very hard to get to where I am.<h3>Listen Up, Guys: Here's What She Really Wants</h3><strong>What quality do women look for mostly in a guy?</strong>A guy with apersonality who's not boring and someone that has general respect for people and hissurroundings.<strong>What’s the biggest grooming mistake a guy canmake?</strong>Not grooming.<strong>What type of guy do you seeyourself going for more?</strong>I don’t have a type, I always seemyself with different types of guys, but mostly someone that is intelligent and funnybecause I get bored so easily.<strong>Who should pay on the firstdate?</strong>The guy.<strong>Would you care if a guy picked youup in a garbage strewn beater?</strong>As long as it’s clean itdoesn’t matter.<strong>What's your biggest turn-on?</strong>A guy who will take care of you no matter what -- to the point where you don’thave to worry and you know that he’ll always be there for you.<strong>What's your biggest turnoff?</strong>Neediness and moodiness.<strong>What jewelry is acceptable for a man to wear?</strong>A watchis all they should wear.<strong>Would you date a guy who makes less than itwould take to comfortably support a family?</strong>Family is very importantto me, so I think he would need to do everything that he could to make sure he can supporthis family.<strong>One final piece of advice for men in five words orless?</strong>Be yourself, no bullsh*t.<h3>Arianny Celeste On Being A Ring Girl</h3><strong>What would you say is the best perk about being a UFC ring girl?</strong>The best perk is getting to travel around the world. I’ve seen so manyplaces in so little time that it's such a real blessing.<strong>When travelingfor the UFC, how much is PR and how much time do you get for yourself?</strong>There’s always time. We make time, especially if it’s an exciting place. <strong>Are you into any other sports?</strong>I like to watchfootball and basketball. I don’t really follow it religiously like I would MMA, butI do like to watch it.<strong>The craziest thing you’ve seen during orafter a fight?</strong>I’ve seen a fighter's arm being broken.Can’t really top that one.<strong>What’s the most memorable momentyou've had as a ring girl?</strong>The last time we were in Brazil, because ofthe energy of the crowd. They were just going insane, and it was the most fun I had at afight. And Toronto with 55, 000 fans in attendance was definitely memorable.<strong>What can we expect from Arianny Celeste in 2012?</strong>Well,I’m going to take 2012 by the balls, actually. All kidding aside, I will continue towork with the UFC in promoting myself and pursue a career in acting while also continuingmy hosting duties. <p> <a href="http://ca.askmen.com/dating/heidi_600/605_arianny-celeste-qa.html">Continue Reading</a> </p>

by Johnny Testa

Published:

Why Picking Up Girls Isn't A Science

2012-02-10T22:52:00.025-08:00

<a href="http://ca.askmen.com/dating/curtsmith_600/665_how-to-talk-to-women.html"> <img src="http://images.askmen.com/dating/curtsmith_600/665_how-to-talk-to-women-1057380-flash.jpg" alt="Credit: dating/curtsmith_600/665_how-to-talk-to-women-1057380-flash.jpg" /></a><br /> <em>It's A Man's World" is a column on anything and everything related to the modern man,by Ian Lang.</em><em> If there are any topics you'd like to see addressed here, sendthem to us at <em><a href="mailto:editorial@askmen.com">editorial@askmen.com</a>, orlet us know in the comments section.</em></em>Who doesn’twant to do better with the ladies? Even if you’re in a steady relationship (or evenmarried), it’s nice to know you’ve still “got it” when it comes tothe fairer sex. Sadly, nature (being the mother of all cock blocks) makes it difficult forus by making women harder to figure out than the Riemann hypothesis. This is good forwomen because it makes it such that only the most capable of suitors find themselvesgetting the ladies’ attention (a damning example of the 80/20 rule if I ever sawone).<h3>Does this secret weapon even work?</h3>Fortunately for men, all is not lost. Our secret weapon in the battle of the sexes isknown as the dating coach, a “professional” who, ostensibly, has the know-howand skill necessary to transform Stan Marsh into Steve McQueen. Indeed, many companies andindividuals advertise guaranteed results, though I’m not sure how they define aresult. Thousands of men spend tens of thousands of dollars every year on books, seminarsand boot camps hoping to improve their chances of consensual coitus.There issuch a thing as a good <a href="http://www.askmen.com/dating/">dating</a> coach (I’mby and large a fan of <ahref="http://www.askmen.com/dating/dating_advice_600/637_your-first-kiss.html"target="_blank">David Wygant’s writing</a>, here on AskMen and elsewhere, and thereare a handful of other good dating gurus whose writing appears on this site), but most ofthese coaches are good at teaching men overall life skills and applying them specificallyin a romantic setting. Because, really, that’s more or less what dating successboils down to -- social skills. Men who are able to read into social cues and respondaccordingly are simply going to be more successful in any situation (including dating)than men who are not, regardless of looks, status, etc. But instead ofjust teaching broad, common-sense concepts that would neither fill many pages nor beconsidered revolutionary to many readers, many dating gurus develop theories andstrategies that promise to unlock the secrets of exactly what you need to say and do inorder to score that hot half-Asian/half-Colombian girl beckoning you from across the bar(I know most guys like blondes, but it’s my column, so we’re using myfantasy).<ahref="http://askmen.com//video/dating/the-truth-about-talking-to-women-video.html">RELATEDVIDEO: The Truth About Talking To Women</a><h3>Practice does not always make perfect</h3>To demonstrate my problem with this, I’m reminded of a fraternity brother of mine.He purchased some dating books and would often “try out” some of the lines onhis female roommate. I give him a lot of credit for at least practicing, but,unsurprisingly, his roommate’s typical response was, “No, that probablywouldn’t work.” Similarly, I recall being in a bar in Stamford, CT, sittingnext to two women who were maybe in their 30s. A guy my age approached and proceeded tospit out entire routines of canned pickup material. Despite making no headway whatsoever,he plowed ahead with all the finesse of a torch juggler, finally asking for and beingdenied phone numbers.Both anecdotes represent the fundamental problem with anydating manual: There’s no such thing as a universally perfect pickup line. Myreasonably good-looking and successful fraternity brother’s lines fell flat for thesame reason those of the nerdy kid did. It doesn’t matter how brilliant something ison paper or coming from someone else’s mouth, because if it’s not somethingthat you would naturally say, women are going to know it. A chubby, awkward guy trying todemonstrate status by telling a girl his ex was a model will come across as lessbelievable than a bunch of politicians playing an honest game of poker. For as much asdating books highlight women’s heightened ability to pick up on social cues, much oftheir advice centers on boldly ignoring that and misrepresenting yourself in one way oranother.Every single poll of women says the same thing: The number one thingthey look for in a man is confidence. I don’t doubt this, but most men misunderstandor misconstrue what confidence really is. Going out of your way to demonstrate your valueas a suitor is the opposite of confidence. All the money, all the status in the world isrendered moot when you have to flaunt it for attention.<h3>Confidence is the starting place</h3><ahref="http://www.askmen.com/money/body_and_mind_150/173_better_living.html">Confidence</a>is a result, not a cause. A lack of confidence isn’t necessarily the result offailure, but rather the failure to meet expectations. If you’re unemployed but feellike you should be working on Wall Street, then you’re not going to feel verycomfortable in your own skin. But if you’re unemployed but have a realistic view ofwhat you can do to get back on your feet, you’ll have a lot less anxiety. Womenrecognize that. Musicians get laid for two reasons: 1) They can play music, and 2) Most ofthem genuinely believe that the sky’s the limit in terms of their success. That kindof steadfast optimism and self-assuredness is intoxicating.If you findyourself failing with women, maybe the problem is less about the man you are and moreabout how comfortable you are being that man. Don’t look for pickup lines, cure-allsor secret codes, because none of it will work if you’re not in the right placementally. Reevaluate your ambitions and goals, and you’ll start coming across toothers (men and women alike) as more stable, easygoing and, most importantly,confident.If you need a dating or life coach to help you do that, fine.Remember, if there really was a successful formula for figuring out women, whoever came upwith it would be a lot richer and a lot more famous than any pickup artist you’veheard of.<em>Help make Ian Twitter famous at <ahref="https://twitter.com/#!/TheIanLang" target="_blank">@TheIanLang</a>.</em>  <p> <a href="http://ca.askmen.com/dating/curtsmith_600/665_how-to-talk-to-women.html">Continue Reading</a> </p>

by Ian Lang

Published:

Avoid Saying These 3 Words To Her At All Cost

2012-02-10T22:52:00.023-08:00

<a href="http://ca.askmen.com/dating/dating_advice_600/650_3wordsthatwomenhate.html"> <img src="http://images.askmen.com/dating/dating_advice_600/650_3wordsthatwomenhate-1057430-flash.jpg" alt="Credit: dating/dating_advice_600/650_3wordsthatwomenhate-1057430-flash.jpg" /></a><br /> This latest Twitter trend made us realize something: Not only can women be irrational, butthey can misconstrue what we say so much that it can become an internet sensation.Guys, it's not rocket science. But it sure is entertaining. Without further ado,here are some of the better additions from the women of the world to the trendinghashtag <a href="https://twitter.com/#!/search/realtime/%233WordsThatWomenHate"target="_blank">#3WordsThatWomenHate</a>. <a target="_blank"href="https://twitter.com/#!/itzhaleybby"></a><a target="_blank" href="https://twitter.com/#%21/strpljenspasen"></a><a target="_blank" href="https://twitter.com/#%21/Anastacia"></a><a target="_blank" href="https://twitter.com/#%21/_KissMyAsxBitch"></a><a target="_blank" href="https://twitter.com/#%21/_MsBBJudy"></a><a target="_blank" href="https://twitter.com/#%21/baabymel"></a><a target="_blank" href="https://twitter.com/#%21/Tekaguedes"></a><a target="_blank" href="https://twitter.com/#%21/AOtwenty"></a><a target="_blank" href="https://twitter.com/#%21/Ms_3my"></a><a target="_blank" href="https://twitter.com/#%21/queen_yea"></a><a target="_blank" href="https://twitter.com/#%21/AmyEve93"></a><a target="_blank" href="https://twitter.com/#%21/theGlitter_Girl"></a><a target="_blank" href="https://twitter.com/#%21/BiancaGasparri"></a><a target="_blank" href="https://twitter.com/#%21/_KayeLan"></a><a target="_blank" href="https://twitter.com/#%21/LiveandLuv"></a><a target="_blank" href="https://twitter.com/#%21/KhadijaRM"></a><a target="_blank" href="https://twitter.com/#%21/Laura_STL"></a><a href="https://twitter.com/#%21/revell7"></a> <p> <a href="http://ca.askmen.com/dating/dating_advice_600/650_3wordsthatwomenhate.html">Continue Reading</a> </p>

by AskMen Editors

Published:

Doc Love: The Real Reason She Broke Up With You

2012-02-10T22:52:00.021-08:00

<a href="http://ca.askmen.com/dating/doclove_700/798_why-she-broke-up-with-me.html"> <img src="http://images.askmen.com/dating/doclove_700/798_why-she-broke-up-with-me-1057384-flash.jpg" alt="Credit: dating/doclove_700/798_why-she-broke-up-with-me-1057384-flash.jpg" /></a><br /> <em>This week, Doc Love, author of <a target="_blank"href="http://www.askmen.com/products/doclove/">"TheSystem,"</a> explains how women can lose interest over time. </em><h3>Reader Question<em></em></h3>Hey Doc, I’m having a confusing andfrustrating week due to my <ahref="http://www.askmen.com/dating/doclove_600/666_doc-love-deal-with-a-breakup.html">breakup</a>with Scarlett. I’m 27 and she’s 21, and we’ve known each other for five years, but we’ve only been dating for two months. I admire your coaching, and Iintend to buy your book. Before dating me, Scarlett had afour-year relationship that she broke off because she felt that it wasn’t goinganywhere. We clicked completely and found that we shared lots of interests, had greatchemistry, cared for one another, and pretty much were compatible in every way. The problems began when I was invited to her aunt’s house for dinner. Scarlettshowed up late and <ahref="http://www.askmen.com/dating/doclove_500/580_doc-love-hot-and-cold.html">actedextremely cold</a> to me. This was a side of her I never saw before. I kept to myselfmost of the night because I felt stranded in an awkward position. Finally she sat me downin a secluded room and told me that she was breaking up with me because she couldn’t see a future for us. She threw in that I don’t motivate her enoughand she felt that we were going to end up being lazy, fat people on the couch. (By theway, neither of us is overweight, and I go to the gym faithfully.) She then commentedthat we are not compatible and that nothing can fix it. I told her I wasn’taccepting that answer because she wasn’t making sense. She then commented that Iwas the greatest but she’s not, and that I should find someone else. My heart wasbroken. After about a week I sent her an emailasking her to clarify the reason she suddenly broke up with me. I told her that I waswilling to work on any issues we might have if she’s willing to and that I feltthat we really had something awesome going. I asked her to think about it and to get back to me. Through mutual friends I know she didn’t go back to her ex.A few days later Scarlett replied that she just felt weweren’t compatible but gave no reason why. She added that maybe we could be friends again or possibly go back to what we had.  Doc, I’m totally lost. Our relationship was great. I kept Scarlett interested, <a href="http://www.askmen.com/dating/doclove_700/777_being-needy.html">Iwasn’t needy</a> and I didn’t see any compatibility issues. I really likeScarlett and would love to continue dating her, but I just don’t understand herpoint of view. Is she still hung up on her ex? Why did she suddenly turn cold on me? Isshe confused about what she really wants in a relationship? Am I the problem? Whycouldn’t she have talked to me about these issues before breaking myheart? <strong>Gibby - who feels likecrying</strong><h2>doc love’s response</h2>Hi Gibby, The first problem you’ve gotis that you’re involved with 21-year-old girl. And if you knew my book -- which youdon’t -- you’d understand that between the ages of 18 to 22,girls fall in and out of love every five minutes. You should bedating a 24-to-27-year-old. When Scarlett froze you out at heraunt’s house, you should have just walked out. You should have thanked the lady forher hospitality and hit the bricks. Like my cousin Fast Eddie Love from East L.A. says,“Once I’m dissed, I walk.” When Scarlett announced that she saw no future for the two of you, you should have said,“You know, that’s exactly what I was thinking,” and added, “Wehad a great run.” Then you should have got up and walked straight out and nevertalked to her again. Then, most importantly, you should have immediately gotten my book-- which you don’t have, and which you just “might” buy -- and figuredout why Scarlett dumped you.<em>Doc Love continues, next...</em> <p> <a href="http://ca.askmen.com/dating/doclove_700/798_why-she-broke-up-with-me.html">Continue Reading</a> </p>

by Doc Love

Published:

Why Men Lie To Women

2012-02-10T22:52:00.019-08:00

<a href="http://ca.askmen.com/dating/curtsmith_600/668_why-men-lie.html"> <img src="http://images.askmen.com/dating/curtsmith_600/668_why-men-lie-1057495-flash.jpg" alt="Credit: dating/curtsmith_600/668_why-men-lie-1057495-flash.jpg" /></a><br /> For centuries, women have beentrying to figure out why men constantly lie -- especially in the courtship phase. A <ahref="http://www.q13fox.com/news/kcpq-study-men-lie-to-women-because-they-dont-know-any-better-20120201,0,1004517.story"target="_blank">new study</a> by a dating coach/pickup artist website <ahref="http://www.puatraining.com/" target="_blank">PUA Training</a> has finally got theanswer. (Or <em>an</em> answer. It's not exactly a Harvard study.)Apparently, a staggering amount of men lie about their financialstability in order to appeal to the opposite sex. The figures show that 79.3% of guysmislead girls when it comes to money, jobs and their income.<ahref="http://www.askmen.com/top_10/dating_150/191_dating_list.html"></a> Even if the numbers are a little bit skewed since that site'sdemographic is mostly males who need assistance, the reality is that many men think along these lines. Males love to embellish, brag and exaggerate who they are because theybelieve that material things <ahref="http://www.askmen.com/grooming/project/top-10-simple-ways-to-impress-a-woman.html">impresswomen</a> -- even though bombshells like <ahref="http://www.askmen.com/dating/heidi_600/605_arianny-celeste-qa.html">her</a>,<ahref="http://www.askmen.com/celebs/interview_600/649_lake-bell-interview.html">her</a> and<ahref="http://www.askmen.com/dating/heidi_600/604_sunny-leone-qa.html">her</a> continuallystate they are looking for more authentic qualities. The good news is that most of the men in this study admit they don’t likethe deceit. 67% would rather tell the truth if they felt it was good enough. Welcome to reality. Women use makeup to embellish their looksand men use lies to embellish their image. It’s not right, but it’s just theway the game is played. <p> <a href="http://ca.askmen.com/dating/curtsmith_600/668_why-men-lie.html">Continue Reading</a> </p>

by Dave Golokhov

Published:

How To Land A One-Night Stand

2012-02-10T22:52:00.017-08:00

<a href="http://ca.askmen.com/dating/curtsmith_600/666_one-night-stand.html"> <img src="http://images.askmen.com/dating/curtsmith_600/666_one-night-stand-1057449-flash.jpg" alt="Credit: dating/curtsmith_600/666_one-night-stand-1057449-flash.jpg" /></a><br /> Have you always wanted to go on a date, sleep with the woman immediately and never see heragain? Do you find yourself at the bar on a Friday night looking around and wondering howto land that <ahref="http://www.askmen.com/dating/love_tip_400/418_tips-for-one-night-stands.html">one-nightstand</a>? Here are three ways of pulling it off.<h3>Situation No. 1: On A Date</h3>Let's say you're on a date and you like her, but you know you don't like her enough to beyour girlfriend. You know that you don't want to spend the next month pretending to likeher, pretending to want to have a relationship with her, just so you can get in herpants.So, here you go: You're laughing with her, you're having a good time,and then it all comes down to the crucial moment: How do you tell this <ahref="http://www.askmen.com/specials/2012_top_99/">beautiful woman</a> sitting across fromyou that you do not want a relationship but would like to sleep with her?Thisis what I'd do: Look directly in her eyes and do not break eye contact. Then say this:"Listen, I'm not looking for a relationship right now. I think you're wonderful, butI’ve got to tell you that I know I can't give you what you need right now, andthere's no reason for us to do the dance. But I do find you intriguing, really alluringand incredibly sexy, and I would love to spend the night with you tonight and show youexactly how I feel right now."Do not break eye contact at this moment becausethis is going to tell whether you're strong and not afraid, and it's also going to showher that you're a guy who's done this before and you're going to give her a goodtime. She might hem, she might haw a little bit, and she might say,“Well I'm not really looking for a one-night stand.” That's when you look ather again and say this: "I'm honest. I really don't like to play games at all. I couldhave lied to you, and I could have told you I wanted a relationship. I could have pursuedyou like a lot of guys do, just to get into your pants, and then leave you confused when Idon't call. But I have to tell you I am so intrigued by what you feel like. I can't stopthinking about how you and I would be together, because I know just by looking at youthere are a lot of things that I can do to make you feel unbelievable tonight. And Ireally would like that opportunity to do that right now."Once again, do nothesitate. The choice is hers. If she says no, look at her and tell her you understand andrespect that. Leave it at that. You might run into her a few weeks later, and she might bein the mood -- and you've already planted the seed.<h3>Situation No. 2: At The Bar</h3>So, you're at a bar and you're looking around. You find the one woman who keeps breakingaway from her friends. She's constantly breaking for the bathroom, going to the barherself to get a drink. She’s basically turning her back on the group and looking atdifferent men.What she's doing is trying to find the guy who she can eitherget a date with or have a fling with. What you need to do is become very playful with her.Call her out on what she's doing. Walk by and say, “I know what you're doingtonight, and I know what you're looking for. I've been watching you. I'll beback.” Leave a little bit of intrigue. About 10 minutes later, whisper in herear and say, “What was wrong with that guy? Was that guy not the one for you for thenight? I know you're interviewing tonight; I can see it.”<em>More tipson how to score a one-night stand, next... </em> <p> <a href="http://ca.askmen.com/dating/curtsmith_600/666_one-night-stand.html">Continue Reading</a> </p>

by David Wygant

Published:

How To Handle Your Secret Fantasies

2012-02-10T22:52:00.015-08:00

<a href="http://ca.askmen.com/dating/dzimmer_700/739_furries-and-sex.html"> <img src="http://images.askmen.com/dating/dzimmer_700/739_furries-and-sex-1057500-flash.jpg" alt="Credit: dating/dzimmer_700/739_furries-and-sex-1057500-flash.jpg" /></a><br /> <h3>Is It Strange To Have Secret Furry Fantasies?</h3>Doc Chaves,One of my <ahref="http://www.askmen.com/top_10/dating/top10-female-sex-fantasies.html">secretfantasies</a> is furries and being a character who has sex. I was wondering if you knowanything about this and if you could give me some guidance on what to do. I don’tfeel OK at all with telling people, but at the same time I keep thinking about it andwant to know if more people are out there like me. -AnonymousFurry lifestyle is a growing sexual genre that has become more popular inthe mainstream in recent years. People who are into furries are sometimes called furrylifestylers and essentially are folks who gravitate toward animated, fictional charactersor animals with human qualities and personalities. Some do it for fun enjoyment reasonsand others do it for similar reasons with an added sexual flavor. As with most aspects of <a href="http://www.askmen.com/dating/love_tip_300/388_love_tip.html">human pleasure</a>,diversity wins and people have identified sexual components to their furriness. People enjoy furries from a sexual perspective for a varietyof reasons. Some like the anonymity and being able to express themselves in a manner that’s different from their real-life persona. Others are aroused by the animalistic outfits and turned on by the sexualized aspects of roleplay or theirpartners’ furry characteristics. Some like to keep things online and computerized,while others enjoy role-playing in animal suits made for arousal and to express theirerotic urges sexually. There are even furry <ahref="http://www.askmen.com/dating/love_tip/23_love_tip.html">erotic movies</a>. Furryexpression is a wonderful way to express creative fantasy urges in a safe and harmless manner. One common misconception is that these people have some underlying mental healthissue; there’s no evidence to suggest this. Another false belief is they enjoyactual sexual contact with animals, which is totally incorrect.I would encourage you to safely explore your desires and have some fun with this. There are online social communities, such as Furry 4 Life and FurNation, kindof like Furry Facebooks. There are also conventions such as Anthrocon in Pittsburgh andCalifur in Southern California to meet people and find a sense of belonging andcommunity. One recent online survey found that one-third of respondents had a significantsexual interest in furries and almost half had a minor sexual interest. Although wedon’t have accurate prevalence rates, we are likely talking about tens of thousandsof people in this country who get aroused by the furry culture. I’m certainthere’s someone out there for you if you start to create possibilities.<em>Doc Chaves gives more tips, next...</em> <p> <a href="http://ca.askmen.com/dating/dzimmer_700/739_furries-and-sex.html">Continue Reading</a> </p>

by Dr. Hernando Chaves

Published:

What Hot Women Really Want In A Guy

2012-02-10T22:52:00.013-08:00

<a href="http://ca.askmen.com/dating/heidi_600/609_candace-bailey-qa.html"> <img src="http://images.askmen.com/dating/heidi_600/609_candace-bailey-qa-1057563-flash.jpg" alt="Credit: dating/heidi_600/609_candace-bailey-qa-1057563-flash.jpg" /></a><br /> <em>Here at AskMen, we’re all about helping guys. But sometimes advice from one dudeto another can only go so far. That’s why we decided to go straight to the source tofind out what the world's hottest women actually expect from us.</em><em>Thisweek, we asked actress, </em>Attack of the Show!<em> co-host and <ahref="http://www.askmen.com/specials/2012_top_99/" target="_self">Top 99er</a> CandaceBailey, whose girl-next-door beauty impresses gamers and regular humans alike, what shelooks for in guys. </em><strong>What’s the best complimentanyone’s ever given you?</strong>Recently, a childhood friend'sfather told me that I am the exact same person I've always been. That meant a lot to me,because so many people in this business forget who they are and where they came from. I amwho I am because of my upbringing.<strong>What’s the biggest groomingmistake a guy could make?</strong>I once dated this guy who had amazing hair.I <em>loved</em> his hair. Then one day I met up with him, and his hair was gone. <em>Allgone</em>! <ahref="http://www.askmen.com/fashion/fashiontip_100/139_fashion_advice.html">He completelybuzzed it all off</a>! Now, lots of guys look good with a buzzed head, but he was not oneof those guys. If you are thinking about drastically changing your hair, maybe mention itbefore you do it.<strong>Biggest turn-on in a guy?</strong>Ialways love a guy who can make me laugh and who can be a goofball with me. I'm a nut, andI need someone who won't judge that but will join in with me.<strong>Biggestturnoff?</strong>My biggest turnoff in a guy is someone who tries so hard toimpress, be it through money, job, connections, etc. I want a guy who is real and whodoesn't take himself too seriously. And don't even get me started on name-dropping! If aguy I'm on a date with starts dropping names, I immediately check out.<strong>What jewelry is acceptable for men to wear? </strong>I don'tmind jewelry on guys. Rings, bracelets, a necklace, a watch. I'm really fine with orwithout any jewelry. If you like wearing a necklace, wear the necklace. If the girl has aproblem with it, she's probably the wrong girl for you. You want to be able to be who youare without worrying about whether or not the girl is gonna like it. Now, if the guy wearsan anklet or a toe ring, that's an entirely different story!<strong>Would youdate a guy who makes less than it would take to comfortably support a family? </strong>I absolutely would. I don't date a guy based on what kind of money hemakes; I base it on what kind of person he is. Obviously, every girl wants to be takencare of in a way, but if he's the guy I think I could end up with, and he has ambition,anything can be figured out. Besides, I love what I do, and I plan on continuing to work,even when I have kids.<strong>What’s sexier: Macho alpha male or scruffybeta?</strong>That's a hard one. Both are sexy. I'm generally drawn to thealpha male a little more, but there's something so sexy about a scruffy beta. I can'tchoose.<strong>Who should pay on the <ahref="http://www.askmen.com/top_10/dating/top-10-first-date-ideas.html">first date</a>?</strong>The guy. If a guy asks me out on a date, he should pay for it --especially a first date. I'm a little old-school when it comes to that. The guy is givingoff a first impression, and you want it to be a good one. However, I always offer to pay acouple of dates in. Sometimes I'll pay, sometimes we'll go Dutch. I have absolutely noproblem paying for myself now and again. I actually think the girl should pay now andagain. It's not fair to the guy to always have to pick up the check. But for the firstdate, the guy should definitely pay!<strong>Would you care if a guypicked you up in a garbage-strewn beater?</strong> Honestly, it would bea little bit of a turnoff. I don't care what kind of car the guy drives, but if he doesn'ttake care of his car, or at least gets it all cleaned up for a date, he's not sending avery good message. I want a guy who can take care of himself, and if he can't even takecare of his car, it doesn't seem like there's much luck for the rest of it.<strong>One final piece of advice for men in five words or less: </strong>Embrace who you are. <a href="http://askmen.com//video/celebs/candace-bailey-top-99-2012.html">RELATEDVIDEO: Did She Make Our Top 99 List This Year?</a> <p> <a href="http://ca.askmen.com/dating/heidi_600/609_candace-bailey-qa.html">Continue Reading</a> </p>

by AskMen Editors

Published:

What Really Disappoints Her In Bed

2012-02-10T22:52:00.011-08:00

<a href="http://ca.askmen.com/dating/heidi_600/608_sleep-after-sex.html"> <img src="http://images.askmen.com/dating/heidi_600/608_sleep-after-sex-1057561-flash.jpg" alt="Credit: dating/heidi_600/608_sleep-after-sex-1057561-flash.jpg" /></a><br /> We’ve all been there: After a fabulous romp that makes you feel like Rocky boundingup that giant staircase, your body suddenly shuts down. Even reaching for the remotecontrol is out of the question, as you feel your mind slipping into blissful post-coitaldreamland. Now <a target="_blank"href="http://www-personal.umich.edu/~kruger/Kruger_Hughes_Sleep_2011.pdf">a new studylooks at couples where one partner tends to fall asleep immediately after sex</a>. Theresearchers suggest that there could be a psychological reason for the behavior. It seemsthat where there is a sleepy post-coital partner, there tends to be another partnerlonging for bonding and affection. The study’s authors,evolutionary psychologists at the University of Michigan and Albright College inPennsylvania, pose the idea that falling asleep soon after sex might be an indicator thata partner wants to avoid chats about things like <ahref="http://www.askmen.com/dating/curtsmith_100/131_dating_advice.html">commitment</a>. Aclassic intimacy-avoidance tactic, if you will. Sounds like a good theoryto me, except for one other interesting finding. There was no gender dominance to thebehavior. Yup, despite what chicks like to profess, guys are no more likely to conk outafter a lovemaking session than women are. And we all know that avoiding emotional talkthat goes deeper than “How was your day?” is a favorite male hobby.<a href="http://askmen.com//video/dating/sleeping-after-sex-video.html">RELATEDVIDEO: Is It OK To Fall Asleep After Sex?</a> The study is entitled "Tendencies To Fall Asleep First After Sex AreAssociated With Greater Partner Desires For Bonding And Affection." Yup, straightforwardenough. It was published in the <em>Journal of Social, Evolutionary, and CulturalPsychology</em>, and it examined 456 survey participants who answered online questions.Then they responded to: "Who falls asleep after sex?" and "Who falls asleep first whengoing to bed not after sex?" Those who had partners who fell into snooze-land right after<ahref="http://www.askmen.com/dating/love_tip_400/424_how-to-have-sex-in-the-water.html">havingsex</a> reported stronger desires for post-coital cuddling and chatting. So, here’s the Dr. Wendy take on the whole mess. First of all, anyone who readsstudies knows that the word “association” does not imply“causation.” In other words, just because two behaviors exist together -- inthis case, sleepiness and longing -- doesn’t mean one causes the other or that theyare related in any way, except that they lie side by side. My knowledgeof human attachment theory shows that when one has an insecure romantic attachment style,he/she tends to choose partners that will fulfill their most-wished for nightmare. Werecreate the familiar, even if it's painful. This study supports that very theory. Peoplewith insecure attachment styles -- those prone to longing and anxiety related to theirintimate relationships -- tend to chose post-coital snoozers. A partner falling asleepsummons up his or her own feelings of longing and abandonment. So, shouldone try harder to stay awake for an insecure partner? No way. But one should definitelytalk about the subject in the bright light of morning and reassure the wakeful partnerthat all is well in relationship land. Love is still in the air. <p> <a href="http://ca.askmen.com/dating/heidi_600/608_sleep-after-sex.html">Continue Reading</a> </p>

by Wendy Walsh

Published: