Valerie Squiers

...

noreply@blogger.com (Valerie) — Thu, 14 Jan 2010 20:55:40 PST

I haven't blogged in a couple months, but I just have so many emotions going through me right now, I thought I'd try to express them on here... although it'll be limited.

Sometimes I feel as though life is unfair. I know I'm not the only one who has ever felt like this, but I think I have hit rock bottom - or close to it! There are situations going on in my life that I have no control over, and I know I should be giving it to God. I feel as though I have always put this situation in God's hands only to have it slapped away. I should NOT be feeling this way - I should NOT be doubting God's plans - I should NOT be doubting God's ways. But - I do, a lot. I am still a growing Christian and each day I learn more and more about Him and the salvation He grants me. He has blessed my life beyond measure - how dare I question Him!!

I am also placing blame on someone else. Although I feel it deserved, how heartless am I to feel such a thing? I am supposed to be an adult - to be able to handle situations in a calm, mature manner... and I'm being a child; throwing tantrums, crying...

I need peace. I need strength. I need to be able to be in control of my emotions and feelings.

Pray for me.

2 Weeks

noreply@blogger.com (Valerie) — Wed, 11 Nov 2009 10:27:12 PST

It's been two weeks since my father passed away and the funeral is finally set for this Friday. I've had some time to grieve and prepare myself for Friday, but in all honesty, I am scared to go to his funeral. It will be final then... my Dad is really gone. I feel numb - like a lost little girl. I spend my days talking with family and friends, playing with my boys, cooking and cleaning - trying to keep my mind busy and my eyes dry.

Please pray for me. Part of me is so secure in my self-control that on Friday I won't break down and cry like a newborn baby - another part of me feels like the second I step out of the truck at the cemetery I am going to lose it completely.

I need strength. I need the Lord to put is comforting hand on my heart and guide me through Friday and the days to follow. His will has been done, but I am finding it harder and harder to accept it. Pray for my understanding of God's plans and that each day I seek Him more and more.

Though you have made me see troubles, many and bitter, you will restore my life again; from the depths of the earth you will again bring me up. You will increase my honor and comfort me once again.
Psalm 71:20-21

"Simon Says..."

noreply@blogger.com (Valerie) — Sat, 31 Oct 2009 11:20:23 PDT

On the special occassions where my Dad would meet me for lunch and recess in elementary school, he would love to play "Simon Says" with my friends and I on the playground. What started out as maybe 6 or 7 kids soon turned into a roaring, laughing crowd of 30-40 kids, sometimes even the occasional teacher! He would love to trick the kids and then point them out as loud as he could if he caught one "jumping up and down" without a "Simon says" in front of it. He was so much fun! I felt on top of the world when kids would come up to me and say how awesome my Dad was and how much fun they had at recess that day! I was so lucky to to be able to tell the kids that didn't know who he was that he was MY DAD!

My Song

noreply@blogger.com (Valerie) — Thu, 29 Oct 2009 08:42:58 PDT

Ever since I was a little girl, I remember listening to my Dad sing me my own special song that he had created. To this day, I can feel his arms wrapped around me tight, the smell of his clothes up against me and hear his voice start singing sweetly. You can bet anytime I hurt myself, anytime I was heartbroken over a boy or if I even just needed a hug, I could go to him and let him comfort me the special way only a father knows how. Now, whenever I see a rainbow, see a beautiful sunset or sunrise, or the rays of sunshine piercing through the clouds, I'll know my Dad is singing to me my special song:

I got me, my little Valerie...
my little Valerie...
my little Valerie...
I got me, my little Valerie...
and I love her very much!

Scott Brian Vaul
July 2, 1957 - October 28, 2009
Rest in peace, Dad. I miss you and I love you.

Peach & Strawberry Parrot Ice

noreply@blogger.com (Valerie) — Wed, 28 Oct 2009 07:42:46 PDT

When I was younger, my Dad worked at a Firestone store about 30-40 minutes away from home in a town called Katy. My mom would sometimes grab us kids and we'd drive out there to meet my Dad for dinner when he got off, usually eating at a Ninfa's right next door. When dinner was over and it was time to head home, there would be a race! More than likely, I would choose to ride home with my Dad while my brothers rode home with my Mom and try to beat us to the house! It was on! But - if it were just my father and I racing them back, you could be sure we would always make at least one pitstop. On a long stretch of road that led us back into Cypress, there was a gas station where we'd always get our fill of parrot ice drinks. I had never had one before, so when my dad came out wih a huge cup full of half peach flavor and half strawberry flavor, I was very pleased. It was delicious!! This gas station became mine and my father's sort of secret getaway. I looked forward to riding home with my Dad on the special occasions that we met him out there after work because I knew I'd be getting a special treat with him. With both of us sharing a parrot ice, all of our worries and cares seemed to disappear for a little bit. On those rides home, I would learn a lot from my father and vice versa. We bonded during those drives and over a parrot ice. From now on whenever I have a parrot ice - peach and strawberry flavored - I'll be reminded of those good times with my Dad and make a toast to him.

Ummm...

noreply@blogger.com (Valerie) — Fri, 23 Oct 2009 21:38:43 PDT

Hello, world! I know I haven't blogged in what seems like decades; however, hopefully now that I have both boys on the same afternoon nap schedule, I'll take some time and start this back up again.
Today I came across a blog that an old school friend has and her blog was so inspirational. She is taking up art and photography as her newly profoud passion and it got me thinking: "Valerie, what are you passionate about?"
Of course there is the obvious: God, Chance, Korbin and Hunter - my family and friends. But I'm talking about hobbies - so many of my peers have a passion for photography, painting, traveling, etc.
Not me.
I love to scrapbook, but I haven't done it in so long and never seem to find the time between taking care of the boys and the house and just LIFE.
I love reading, but it's not something I am so passionate about that I get the latest book that all the book clubs are reading and discussing.
Soccer. This will always be a passion for me, but I can't remember the last time I got my ball, went onto an open field and just kicked around. I am probably so rusty, it would look like I had never kicked a soccerball in my life.
I just need to find something, within reason, that I can become passionate about. I need something in my life to take part in that isn't just being wife and mother - even though I completely love that aspect of my being.
Maybe going to a coffee shop a couple times a month and getting a journal and just writing. I could do that...
So, I leave you with this question to ponder until my next posting:
"What are YOU passionate about?"
Love you all.

My Boys...

noreply@blogger.com (Valerie) — Mon, 29 Jun 2009 14:54:39 PDT

I thought I would post some pictures of the boys. I am so blessed to have two healthy, beautiful little boys.

Quietness and Rambling

noreply@blogger.com (Valerie) — Mon, 15 Jun 2009 13:14:01 PDT

Well, both boys are down for a nap and it is so quiet - no toddler screaming because I took away "his" bag of sore throat drops and no itty bitty infant screaming just because he can. Why aren't I napping, you ask? I just can't. I know I should, but my body is energized and roaring to go - while my mind and eyes are begging for some sleep. Last night was no fun for me; sore throat, no voice and an extremely upset stomach... I think my body has just given way to complete exhaustion and I'm not sure when it'll be able to re-cooperate since my children don't sleep for hours on end like my body would love for them to do. Korbin still wakes up once or twice during the night screaming (we still don't know why...) and Hunter wakes up once or twice to eat; he is a good sleeper though and sleeps an average of 5-6 hours straight if we're lucky.
Ah, summer is here and it brings the HEAT. I, personally, love the hot summer sun beating down on me - for now anyways... ask me again in a couple months when I'll be begging for much cooler temperatures. Chance and I are both really looking forward to the family reunion his family holds every year. None of his extended family has ever met Korbin or Hunter, so it'll be a very fun occassion I think. Korbin is going to have a blast playing with all his younger cousins and other little kids there - especially his cousin, Joshua, who he spent a couple days with the other week. They had a blast and played together really well from what I was told. Except for the fact that my son pinched Joshua. Since when does Korbin pinch? Chance did have a talk with him about it when we picked him up from his parents house... whether or not Korbin comprehends what he did was wrong and won't do it again is another story. Half the time we discipline him, he either laughs at us or cries hysterically and throws himself on the floor in a tantrum. Toddler years are fun and I've only just seen the beginning!
Hunter is awake and fussing, so I'd better get. Love you all.

P.S. I added a Google searchbar that you can use on my blog if you wanna search for something... you know, just in case.

AdSense

noreply@blogger.com (Valerie) — Sun, 14 Jun 2009 21:24:18 PDT

I'm trying this out to try and get some extra income for the family. On the right side of my blog are ads for google... I think the way it works is if you click on one of those ads, I get paid for it.... so all you followers of mine, click away!!! Refer people to my blog, too... that will help with the ads!!!! Thanks guys!
I really hope that is how it works! ha!

The family is doing good. Hunter is 'goo'-ing and smiling and Korbin is growing like a weed!
Love yall!
-Val

Update

noreply@blogger.com (Valerie) — Fri, 05 Jun 2009 11:17:05 PDT

Wow, I hadn't realized that I hadn't blogged since mid February. So much has happened!! We've moved, Chance has started a new job and we have welcomed our second little boy into the world!! Hunter Daniel was born on April 13th at 2:50pm. He was much smaller than anticipated - weighing only 6lbs 15oz; however, he was LONG - 20 inches. He is almost 8 weeks old already and I can't believe it! Time is truly flying! On another note: Hunter has a testicular hernia and we have a consultation with a surgeon on July 13th to get it fixed. He doesn't seem to be in pain, but you can definitely tell it's there. Other than that, he is doing extremely well!
Korbin is sooo big! He is such a great big brother and is constantly loving on Hunter and everything else in sight. He is starting to talk more and can answer 'yes' or 'no' questions really well! He is definitely a Daddy's boy, which makes me sad, but he still has his moments where all he wants is me!
I just thought I'd pop on and give a little update, but now I should probably get back to being Mommy to Hunter since Korbin is spending time with his grandparents. We'll go see him tonight and I can't wait!! I have missed him so much!

....

noreply@blogger.com (Valerie) — Tue, 17 Feb 2009 18:45:21 PST

I just don't blog anymore. I need to get back on board! I need some inspiration!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

A post of Birthday Party pictures!

noreply@blogger.com (Valerie) — Wed, 28 Jan 2009 09:58:30 PST

I am just going to post some pictures since I'm not really in the writing mood. Korbin's birthday party was a blast and he got so many great presents! It was nice having family and friends from all over come and help celebrate such a milestone in Korbin's life! Enjoy the pics!

Korbin and his cousin, Colton.

Korbin playing on his car while people arrive.

Present time!!

Korbin got really shy while we were singing to him. Isn't he precious?

Yummy!! CAKE!!! And all for ME!

Oh, the torture!!

noreply@blogger.com (Valerie) — Tue, 20 Jan 2009 19:43:35 PST

Tonight we have officially broken Korbin of his binky. (Of course, the fact that it is lost somewhere has something to do with it!) He did really well last Monday with having his last bottle of formula and hasn't thrown one fit since then. He is so big!
Right now, I'm listening to the crying over the misery of him not having his best night-time friend with him! It breaks my heart, but I never really wanted him to take a binky in the first place. He didn't get one introduced to him until he was about a month and a half old... even then I wasn't happy about it. But, you move on... so, that is what he is doing... moving on without binky.
Wish us luck!

WAIT...

noreply@blogger.com (Valerie) — Wed, 14 Jan 2009 12:20:50 PST

Courtney and Sasha!!!! I'm tagging yall!!!!!!!!!!! Get to posting ladies! Ü

Tag... Photo Tag, that is...

noreply@blogger.com (Valerie) — Wed, 14 Jan 2009 12:17:45 PST

I've been tagged by Lori of I'm NO Super Mom But I'm LOVING It... here is how you play!

Go to your 4th folder where you store your photos.
Select your 4th picture (no exceptions)!
Post the picture with an explanation and link it back to your tagger.
Tag 4 people to do the same!!

Here I go...

This is the night Korbin was born... I look horrible, but couldn't be more happy to be a Mom!!! That is my Dad checking out his first grandchild!! He was so proud!

Now I'm tagging:
Vanna of ::She's Somebodys Hero::
Brittany of A Future Full of Change

(I don't have four people to tag. I'm lame.)

Have Fun!!!!! Ü

I have to say...

noreply@blogger.com (Valerie) — Mon, 12 Jan 2009 11:53:07 PST

I have the most sweetest little boy in the world! The people are here again today finishing up our walls, so Korbin and I have been living in our rooms during working hours. It was getting time for his nap, so I pulled him into bed with me and we cuddled while we watched Bear in the Big Blue House. Just as it was ending, my sweet boy turned around, came in with his version of a kiss and then fell right asleep. It was probably one of the most precious moments I've had as a Mom, yet. He is only a year old, but he is just so sweet and full of love. I can't wait to see what incredibly adorable thing he'll do next!
I just had to post about it because it was too cute!! Such a perfect moment!

Way behind...

noreply@blogger.com (Valerie) — Mon, 12 Jan 2009 07:46:17 PST

I'm here... no worries. I still have yet to find operating batteries for my camera, so I still haven't uploaded my Christmas pictures. Sorry! I suppose I could just briefly give yall a blog of what has been going on in my oh-s0-exciting life!

My dad is back in the hospital and with any luck will come home today. He was admitted Wednesday night and has osteomylitis. His feet are in such horrible condition and his big toe has this huge hole in the bottom of it. Well, that became infected and therefore, infected his bone and dried it out. He is on antibiotics right now, so hopefully that will fix his problem. If not, he'll go in for surgery and talk of amputating his toe is up in the air. So, please send him and my family some prayers! It seems if it isn't one thing, it's another with my Dad!

Korbin is going to be a year on Saturday. I have already started the waterworks! I can't believe my little angel is getting so big, so fast! Where did the time go?! I sent out his birthday invitations last week and I'm so glad to be done with them! I handmade them and at the time, didn't think it would take so long. I seriously worked on those for a week! It was worth it though... I thought they came out great! My MIL is going to make the cake for the guests, but I am going to make Korbin's little cake. I have absolutely NO idea how to do it or where to start, but it will be so fun and memorable.

Hunter is doing well... really well. He is measuring 4 weeks big. He is a healthy, plump boy already! I am having to apply for Medicaid since our insurance is super expensive. Chance's company switched from Cigna to Aetna and I personally hate it! I was covered 100% with Cigna, but with Aetna I have to fork out thousands of dollars by the time I'm 30 weeks along. EEEEEEEEK! So, I'm praying that Medicaid will take me, but if not, we will make due and figure something out!

Chance is anxiously awaiting to hear back from Mexia or Huntsville. He's applied to both of their school districts for Technician jobs. I am just as anxious. Chance and I are both ready to head out of Houston once and for all! We both feel as though this is not where God wants us, but aren't sure where we are needed. We are just praying and waiting for our sign.

I suppose that is about it. Hopefully, next post will contain some pictures!

Behind...

noreply@blogger.com (Valerie) — Mon, 05 Jan 2009 16:02:15 PST

I'm so behind on this blogging thing. I have yet to post Christmas pictures... it's so sad. The past few days my stomach has been killing me and anything I eat makes me so sick that all I want to do is lie down. I have been getting irregular contractions all weekend and when I called in, they said to just keep a watch on them and if they get regular and so-far apart, to come in. My BP has been staying up around high risk range, so that is never good. I go in tomorrow for my glucose testing and hopefully I'll have an examination as well.

I'm off to bed early... Chance has got baby duty tonight!!

Happy New Year 2009

noreply@blogger.com (Valerie) — Wed, 31 Dec 2008 15:12:20 PST

Hope you all have a great New Years Eve night! Be Safe!

Oh, have a great New Years day, too!

See you in 2009!!!!!!!

Merry Christmas!

noreply@blogger.com (Valerie) — Wed, 24 Dec 2008 10:59:03 PST

I hope you and yours have a very merry Christmas and a great New Year!!

I shall be back once the holiday frenzy is over!! So, look forward to tons of pictures of Korbin's 1st Christmas celebrations with both sides of the family!

What a Cutie!

noreply@blogger.com (Valerie) — Wed, 17 Dec 2008 19:35:23 PST

I adore him!

And this mohawk is awesome!

Fin.

And the stockings were hung...

noreply@blogger.com (Valerie) — Sun, 14 Dec 2008 12:48:53 PST

Chance and I went out Saturday and finished buying our Christmas presents and decorations. We got our stockings - which I absolutely love - and our stocking hangers!! We spent most of the evening wrapping all the gifts and putting them under the tree. Come next weekend though, our tree will look bare because all those presents are for family members!! I made sure I got a picture of them under our tree though! I'm such a nerd!

Dear Santa (and Mommy)...

noreply@blogger.com (Valerie) — Thu, 11 Dec 2008 13:58:18 PST

...I promise I have been a good girl this year! I've pushed a child out of me, celebrated two years of marriage with a huge smile on my face, kept a clean house, cooked for my family almost every day and attended church regularly. I have kept my teeth brushed, my hair combed and my clothes washed. So, please send me at least one of these items on the big day later this month!

1. A large wallet with a clasp. I don't know the official name, but I have wanted one since last Christmas.

______________________________________________________

2. Scrapbooking materials for both Korbin and Hunter's scrapbooks.

_________________________________________________________________

3. Paris Hilton's perfume... no, I'm not a big fan of HER, but I love this fragrance!

______________________________________________

4. Gift cards to Kohls or Target are always excellent gifts!!

If I don't get these items, it's OK. I understand that you are busy year-round, so you may not have time to pick these up for me. If you do, though, it would be much appreciated!

Love,

Valerie

...hope this helps, Mom! I tried to be creative!!

Birthday and Baby Appointment!

noreply@blogger.com (Valerie) — Wed, 10 Dec 2008 15:33:40 PST

Monday, December 8th : My 22nd Birthday!! It was a rather average day for the most part. My mom came by after she got off of work and brought me a birthday present; a maternity shirt! It is so pretty and I absolutely LOVE it! (Thanks, Momma) When Chance got home from work, I told him I was starving and had taken chicken and veggies out of the freezer to cook. He told me to sit down and watch TV and play with Korbin while he made me dinner! It was amazing!! I absolutely admire my husband when he cooks for me - it helps that he is an amazing cook, too! He made me grilled chicken over pasta with steamed veggies... and gave me some water in a crystal wine glass! He is way too good to me and I love him so much! Later that night, my friend Vanna and her family stopped by for a visit and she brought me a birthday cake and red carnations! The cake was delicious and the flowers were beautiful! So, my day may have started out average, but ended way above that!

Wednesday, December 10th : My BIG appointment! Today, we found out the sex of the baby on board. I finally got myself to head to bed last night at around 1:15Am and woke up this morning at 6:30AM totally anxious and excited! When we got to the doctors office at 8:45AM for my 9AM appointment, the lights were turned off and the door was locked. I immediately started panicking, thinking they were closed for the day for some reason! I called the office and it just so happened that their hours started at 9AM today, so they weren't even open yet when I had my moment of complete panic! Anyways, we were the first appointment of the day, so at 9:02AM, we were called back into the room for the big moment! For the first 10-15 minutes of trying to depict the baby's sex, the baby was NOT cooperating and would not open their legs for us to see! So, I, of course, start to panic again because I was determined to NOT leave that office until I knew the sex. Finally, baby positioned just right and we saw it...

Chance and I will be parents to another little boy, who will be named Hunter Daniel. We are so ecstatic! I always saw myself as a mommy to boys!! I absolutely love little boys!!! I just can't wait for April to roll around!

Should I even be surprised?

noreply@blogger.com (Valerie) — Thu, 04 Dec 2008 17:10:03 PST

My mom called me a little bit ago while she was on the road just to talk and see how my day was. So we chit chat for a while and then I ask her if she was on her way to pick up Dad from dialysis. She then informs me that she isn't - she was on her way to get him from work. Work? It is Thursday, right? I ask her why he didn't go to dialysis and apparently my father didn't feel like going tonight. He is so dumb! My mom is so tired and fed up with everything with my Dad that I don't blame her for not jumping down his throat for the millionth time about needing to take care of himself. My Mom had a stress test today after she got out of work, so she was already so tired and physically hurting herself. I asked her if this was the first time he had opted out of going to dialysis because he didn't feel like it. She said yes, but he hasn't been taking any of his meds, which they spent hundreds of dollars filling. I am so frustrated! My dad has had so many kicks in the butt these past few years that you would think he would finally get serious about his health and do what he knows needs to be done for him to stay healthy... even alive! But, no - he makes me so angry! The way my mom put it was that from now on, whatever he wants is what he is going to do. It is just like him deciding whether or not to wear a seatbelt - his decision. My mom has pushed and shoved and cried and screamed until she was in tears trying to get my dad to realize what sort of condition he is in. My dad will do amazing for a month or so and then quit. I hate to say it, but he thinks he knows what is best for him, but he doesn't!!!!!! He doesn't know that missing one dialysis appointment is hurting him so much - that not taking his medications is killing him! I just want to call him up and scream at him and ask him why he is doing this to himself and our family! I pray so hard all the time for my father and his health. I know that God is not betraying me and kicking my prayers out to the curb, but sometimes it is just so hard to continue to pray for something that doesn't ever come true. I am just so angry at him.