Everyday Missionary

2020-03-20T19:43:00.000-07:00

I started this blog a few years ago because I believe that we are each called to be disciples.

To follow Jesus in our daily lives where ever we are.

To love one another, everyone, as God loves us.

And, I wanted to share that with all of you.

For a time, I've been really busy with the demands of life, work and school. Creating took a back seat to my other endeavors. Suddenly, with our lives turn upside down, I have so many things to share with you. I hope you'll join me here again as we continue our disciple journey together.

Rainy days and rainbows

2015-10-01T21:29:00.001-07:00

Some of you might have seen my Facebook post in the last few days about my experience driving in Northeast Kansas. When I’m driving alone, I like to turn on Christian music and usually I start singing along but at some point my songs turn into prayers and I begin to tell God about my day, my joys and my concerns.

Friday was one of those days. It was raining as I drove north of Topeka into the vast expanse where Kansas meets Nebraska and you don't always know where you are.

I was singing along, praying and praising God lifting up my anxious heart,

asking Him to help me to

Be Still

and know Him.

As I prayed, the rain began to slow and I rounded a curve to behold the most magnificent rainbow I’ve ever seen. The colors were so brilliant I had to stop right there in the road and take pictures.

It was as if God wanted me to know right then

at that very moment

He heard me.

Grace and goodness

2015-06-15T20:56:00.000-07:00

I find myself reflecting on God's grace. He is so good to me even when I don't deserve it. Let's face it I can't ever deserve it. That's the thing about grace.

It's not about me.

It's about my God and His goodness.

He is so good that His grace washes over me like a flood cleansing my undeserving heart making me worthy of His unfailing love.

In between

2013-10-01T17:30:00.000-07:00

Lately, I've been living an in between life. In between the job I want and the job I have. In between a House Hunters dream and my upstairs neighbor. In between my heart's desire and what the heck I am I doing here.

It's been almost two years in between and my patience is wearing thin.

God, what's your plan for me? You know I need a plan.

Lord, please help me.

Remind me to

Be Still and Know

that YOU are the God of my in between.

I really don't need to know the plan. I just need to trust you.

Compassion

2013-08-31T15:01:00.000-07:00

When I joined Disciple Bible study last fall, I desperately wanted to understand God's call in my life. As we journeyed through the Bible, I kept a journal of my aha-moments so I could discover what God had in store for me. Looking back over the things that I wrote, one thing is very clear.

Disciples are called to take care of one another.

Exodus 23 says ...and they cry out to me, I will certainly hear their cry. ²⁷...When they cry out to me, I will hear, for I am compassionate."

I will hear their cries. I am compassionate. Those words convict me. Have I really taken the focus off me even for a few minutes to focus on someone else? Do I hear the cries of those in need? Or, do I change the channel when the pictures cut a little too close to my heart?

I re-read the words of Exodus and search my own heart.

I am compassionate.

How can I make those words true?

Time Warp

2013-02-17T14:40:00.001-08:00

Somewhere in my mother's house exists a worn picture of an awkward little girl sitting cross legged on a picnic table squinting into the late summer sun.

Pale skin, freckles, reddish hair and a toothy grin. She was a mess and for years I was embarrassed by her image.

But now, with time and grace tempered compassion, all I want to do is to scoop her up and hug her tight. Try to squeeze in a little love and courage she'll need for the things to come.

She didn't know that she was strong and brave.

Or smart and a natural leader.

She didn't know that the very things she despised about her looks made her unique and pretty.

She didn't know that SHE WAS NOT FAT!

How I wish I could just love her a little more and whisper gently to her...

It will be ok.

It will be amazing.

Exciting News!

2013-02-09T19:20:00.002-08:00

I have finally rejoined the computing world. All the partial posts I've started on my tiny iphone will soon come to life and find their way to publication. Oh how I've missed you normal size keyboard.

Look for more soon!

Front Porch Love

2012-09-05T19:59:00.000-07:00

On my way to write my blog tonight something unexpected happened. Someone knocked on my door.

I was standing in my nightgown with no make up and who knows what my hair looked like. I considered my excuses for ignoring the knock, but instead, I opened the door and peeked outside.

Smiling back at me were Sister Clark and Sister Lewis, two of the cutest little Mormon missionaries that I've ever seen. They asked if Karen lived here or if I knew which house was hers. I didn't and I expected our encounter to be complete. Then, the unexpected...they stayed.

They didn't mind my clothes(I did put on a robe) or my make up or my hair. They were on a mission.

A mission to share God's love...with me. Right there on my front porch.

They spoke. I listened.

And, I was blessed.

Weekend Grace

2012-09-02T20:10:00.000-07:00

So it's the second of September and all ready I missed my self imposed deadline.

God's grace is sufficient for me...

Through computer crashes, internet issues and long work days.

God's grace is sufficient for me...

When my to-do list takes over yet, it seems nothing gets done.

God's grace is sufficient for me...

When I'm hurting and lonely wondering why God allows me to go through the same trails again and again.

God's grace is sufficient for me...

On Sundays, when I can't bear going to church alone so I don't.

God's grace is sufficient even...

for...

me.

Dog days

2012-08-28T13:11:00.000-07:00

The summer days have passed in a blur of goodbyes, hellos, camps and unexpected road trips. I don't know where the weeks went. Now that school has begun and we're settling into familiar routine, I'm so excited to get back into blogging.

Look for some great changes coming up in Sept and .....drum roll please....

New posts everyday!!!

That's right. New posts everyday all month long. I can't wait to see what God has in store.

Letting Go

2012-05-31T21:59:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow is a day of bittersweet joy that will, I'm sure, be mixed with tears. I am driving my daughter, the former baby of the family, to the airport. For her, this is an exciting new journey. For me, it's another lesson in letting go.

I still remember her first day at kindergarten. She held my hand and wanted me to walk her in. I lingered in the hall so she could see me. But, the next day.

The very next day.

We walked to the sidewalk in front of the school. She turned to me and said...

"Mom, you're embarrassing me!".

She let go of my hand and confidently, courageously walked in all by herself. Tears ran down my cheeks as I turned away smiling so proudly. Even then, she was teaching me to let go.

I raised her to be the brave, independent woman that she has become. I knew that one day she'd go her own way, choose her own path. I just secretly hoped it would be closer to home.

Tomorrow, I'll hug her tight. Try to squeeze in just a little more love. I'll smile through my tears and this time...
I won't care if I'm embarrassing her.

Doing Something Different

2012-03-02T08:02:00.000-08:00

It's been nine days. Nine long, soda free days.

Does God care about my Diet Dr Pepper habit?

Probably not, but He does care about the things that separate us from Him.

So this Lenten Season, we are doing something different at my house. Together, as a family, we are fasting from something that challenges us.

Tempts us.

Separates us.

Several times a day, we are invited to remember that Jesus sacrificed himself for us. Invited to consider what we are willing to sacrifice for Him.

That's the way of this disciple life after all.

Deny myself, take up my cross and follow Him.

Lifting Up and Laying down

2012-01-31T22:21:00.000-08:00

I've been carrying a heavy burden but tonight I was reminded...the carrying is not my job.

So I lift it up.

My heart speaks the words my lips cannot. He still hears.

I lay it all down.

Down at the feet of the One who long ago carried my burdens into a garden and up a hill. Burdens of a worn out wife, a worried mother, a broken disciple.

God's sweet grace fills my anxious heart and spills down my cheeks.

Peace replaces worry. Faith restores doubt. God's steadfast love remains.

One Thing

2011-12-31T21:05:00.000-08:00

Disciple life call us into action.

We can all do One Thing.

Check out our new page to start the One Thing Challenge.
Today's One Thing

Angels heard on high

2011-12-29T22:52:00.000-08:00

Luke 2(KJV) ¹³And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God, and saying,

¹⁴Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward men.

This Christmas I actually heard them.

The angels. I actually heard them sing.

My heart burst with joy as I watched in wonder my oldest daughter giving birth to her second child, a son. I felt my soul travel across time 2000 years to a manger in Bethlehem and another young mother who held her newborn son, our Emanuel.

I held my grandson nuzzling his fuzzy little forehead, gazing into the dark pools of his eyes filled with hope and promise having just seen the face of God. Then, I heard them.

Angels. Heavenly hosts.

Singing of God's glory. Bringing me good will and peace.

Praise God, the angels didn't come just once 2000 years ago. They come again and again and again.

Do you hear them?

Benjamin Royal Backofen

born Christmas Day 2011
Congratulations! Taylor, Jason and
proud big sister Venessa

Unlearning

2011-11-10T21:00:00.001-08:00

How do I learn the lessons God is trying-so patiently, time after time-to teach me?

Slow down, He says.

Be still.

I never learn it completely.

October was another example of lessons unlearned. Sure, I can tell you about three more trips to the hospital praying helplessly over children bearing burdens beyond their years. I can tell you about adjusting to a new job working hours long into the night watching over lost, troubled children. I can tell you of my own sweet teenager trying to find her way through junior high. You would nod your head with empathy and understanding. You've been there. You know.

How do I learn to live this disciple life? Walking Jesus' cross-carved path.

I stop.

I pray.

God forgives and pours out his redeeming grace upon my weary, unlearning soul.

And, I begin again.

Jesus Prayer by Jenny Youngman

Late night blessings

2011-09-26T23:13:00.000-07:00

Sitting here for a third night by my daughter's hospital bed listening to monitors beeping and watching bad late night TV, it's hard to find my blessings. But, God is faithful so I am faithful to count...

33. free refills on soda in the cafeteria

34. family and friends surrounding us in prayer

35. unexpected mother/daughter time

36. wifi connections in the room

37. caring and prompt doctors, nurses, aides

38. husbands and daughters loving with dishes cleaned, meals cooked, pets fed

39. flowers, phone calls, Facebook well wishes

40. silly, sleepy smiles

Blessings counted

2011-09-05T22:53:00.000-07:00

22. family, friends and laughter

23. waking up to the smell of bacon cooking

24. long distance giggles

25. healthy new addition due in December

26. smell of fresh Autumn air

27. pencils, notebooks and backpacks...signs of the new school year

28. clean sheets and fluffy pillows

29. fears faced -Congratulations making Chorale, Maggie!

30. prayers of faith filled friends

31. unexpected kindness...thanks for changing my tire, guys

32. patience for the meantime

Confessions

2011-08-31T21:33:00.000-07:00

Psst. I have a confession to make. I have four great children mostly grown and handling life on their own now. For the record, I am fiercely proud of each one of them. But, just between you and me...sometimes I feel like I've failed.

You see, I'm still that worried young mother watching from the dining room as her little cape wearing super boy steps onto the coffee table holding a mailing tube and placing both hands inside the tube pushes himself off the table to fly. I holler at him to stop but he just flashes me that mischievous grin. He soars as if in slow motion but I can't reach him in time to save him from the first of what will be several sets of stitches.

I desperately want to save them from their bumps and bruises but no matter how hard I try to warn them, how emphatic my plea, they just smile that sweet smile that says, "Oh, Mom" and go on doing things their own way.

Of course, that's what I wanted, right? Independent, self assured, confident children who became independent, self assured, confident adults. That was my job as a mother. To make them brave enough to carve out a better future than the bumpy road I chose.

So what's a seasoned worrying mama to do when those failure moments come? The only thing I know...

Fall on my faith and pray.

Oh God my Father, keep my children safe as they sleep in their own beds, in their own apartments across town and across the country. Whisper to them the promises you made to me. Tell them you know them by name, that they are your sons and daughters. No matter what they do they'll never lose your love. Lord, pour your grace over them as they make the mistakes of youth and humanness. Wrap them with your arms of love until they feel your presence surrounding them. And, Lord, please quiet the worries of my anxious heart and fill it to overflowing with your perfect peace.

Amen.

Be Counted

2011-08-10T14:16:00.000-07:00

Support Justice For Our Neighbors.

10 projects. 1 click. Be counted.

Grace and Joy

2011-07-26T20:28:00.000-07:00

Eucharisteo...grace and joy.

Grace and joy.

I long to live in grace and joy.

Patience, eyes wide open, counting...

12. flowers blooming where they don't belong

13. girl time in the kitchen baking cakes
14. red velvet and cream cheese
15. unexpected flowers
16. happy, gurglily, food all over my baby face smiles
17. latte's in my kitchen with the Perfect Iced Coffee, thank you Ree!
18. savoring quiet time with old movies and cuddly kittys
19. turning TVs off (yes, all of them)
20. long journey's, big bear hug hellos, family togetherness once again
21. scents of sanctuary...aged wood, flowered perfume and sweet, sweet spirits

Photo by Travista Creative

Happy 1st Anniversary Kretyen!

2011-07-25T15:54:00.000-07:00

I'm going to take a time out to brag on my friends over at Kretyen Fair Trade Gifts and Coffee. It's a little shop with a big dream over at 25th and Iowa in Lawrence, KS. Kretyen features unique, handcrafted items from around the world as well as organic coffees, teas, chocolates and more. Fair Trade items benefit us all but particularly the world's disadvantaged populations.

Go see my friend, Deb Rukes, and say hello! Visit her website http://www.kretyenfairtrade.com/ for details about the special anniversary celebration on Saturday, July 30th.

Free, Free, Free Opportunity

2011-07-23T09:13:00.000-07:00

Doubt and worry have been paralyzing in my life. It's time to learn how to put them in their place and walk with confidence. Join me in losing the weight of discouragement and self-doubt.

Renee Swope, from Proverbs 31 Ministries is offering a FREE “7-day Doubt Diet.” Just click here to enter your information in her sidebar, and you’ll receive a week’s worth of devotions from her upcoming book, A Confident Heart. And be sure to let me know so we encourage one another along the way.

Just Married

2011-07-22T22:54:00.000-07:00

Last Saturday, I watched as my oldest daughter transformed from a shy, little girl into a beautiful bride and confidently walked down the aisle to her new grownup life. It was a bittersweet moment filled with quiet tears and unspeakable joy.

Tears for the little girl who was left behind. Joy for the young woman who took her place beside a beaming young man. Wrapped in tight with her floral bouquet were all my hopes and dreams. Years of whispered wishes and fervent prayers. Her's now to carry.

Love never fails.

Wedding day picture by Travista Creative photography.

More blessings, many more

2011-07-22T21:46:00.000-07:00

8. family time visits

9. fuzzy little noggins

10. hiding under covers

11. shaking off sleep to sounds of tiny little steps and an excited "Grandma, Grandma"

This was my list on June 7. I didn't consider it complete and, therefore, didn't post it. Now, I realize that is not the point.

Gratitude is incomplete. Continuously ebbing and flowing. Wave after wave.

Grace upon grace.