Life is a Journey

Have you found your Fatima?

2017-01-09T01:41:00.002-08:00

Today, I feel like writing something. I need to accept few things. It's a public platform and as it is visible to you, I feel a little shy. I would try to put my mind and feelings over here as they are. I treat this page like a transporter between my mind and my conscious. It helps me to receive and observe what my mind is up to.

I just entered my room after spending few hours in the green park of Hiranagar, Anu. I was overwhelmed with some kind of dizziness and thoughts which I couldn't read myself. In the late morning hours when I stepped out of the room to walk on the road alone, I felt more dizzy. My mother had called me last night about a to-be-marriage proposal from a family living somewhere Tihra.
When I hear the word marriage, I feel excited and fear at the same time. I have turned 29 and all my mother can think about now is my marriage. Of course I want to marry but to someone I know from past. My mother had sent me the birth details of the girl and using the internet resources I found the astrological compatibility to be average.

I had told my mother that the marriage compatibility is just average. She thought that she could talk me out it, and wants to proceed further. That makes me feel angry, first I don't know the girl yet, and also the compatibility score is only 21 out of 36. I called my mother in the morning and asked her to not give me any more marriage proposals else I would shut my phone down.

I know she feels the urgency of my marriage but I don't want to marry like this. Somehow I feel that love marriage would be better for me. All these thoughts were so clinged to my head that I could hardly stay in the room. I went out so that these thoughts could evaporate in the sunlight, which today has come after few days of clouds and rain at Hamirpur. I walked for about three four kilometers first on the main highway at Anu then I took a street path and entered the fields towards the north west of Anu. Still I could not feel light, I felt like a creep walking alone with my earphones on with its chord hidden under my leather jacket and other end tucked into my cell phone in my jean pocket which played the audio book "The Alchemist."

After that call to my mother, I felt a little guilty too, because all she is trying to do is getting me married. This is what she thinks she is supposed to do. Anyway I turned towards the children's park in Hiranagar and sat there. Few couples were seated on the seats. Some children were swinging, and also some bunch of boys were there chit chatting.

I sat on an empty seat with the sun rays on it, and tried to bask my head in their sweet heat. From inside my head was heavy with bundles and nets of thoughts. I had read that book about a decade earlier, so I needed not to concentrate hard to learn the story of that shepherd boy named Santiago. Will I find my Fatima? I don't know, but these questions put me at unrest. Have I found that king of Salem or not yet? I don't know. ... Have you??

Fifty Shades of Fucked Up

2015-10-22T07:12:00.000-07:00

Hi,
I am kinda out of place and money to visit the theatres for the new releases, so if you say that I am late to watch this movie, you are right! Anyway, let me say what I have to say today.
It's rare to find anyone without the fifty shades of fucked up, and that is why the book "Fifty shades of Grey" and the movie got famous. Some express these shades in one way and some in the other ways. While you read this post, please try to keep an open mind, if you can't please don't read further, I won't be mad at you, I understand.

The movie shows a guy who had a hard start in his life, some woman used him for sex when he was fifteen years old. Now that he is thirty years old and a successful businessman with a billionaire tag to his name, and with a handsome physique too, anyone can hope him to have a happy girlfriend and a wife.

The movie shows it differently though. His past has taken the steering of his love life. He had a way to deal with his past, to try to be dominant with his partner in bed. Not just dominant but the violence against the girl, whom he claimed to love and which also seems true. But those fifty shades makes him blind to others' hurt.
The anger of being a victim to someone's lust at early age comes out and destroys his relationship. The movie touched me, and as the book became a bestseller, I think it has touched many.

The use of 'fifty' to count the number of shades is random, but no one knows exactly how many shades do we carry inside. Some people are good with talking and lucky enough to talk about the shades of their life, but some are frightened to even look inside, and so they don't even know.

I feel it happens to me, to you or anyone, and we can't do much about it. When Buddha went outside his palace for the first time, he found these shades in different people in different forms, and he didn't know what to do about it. He spent six years away from home, did all kind of yoga and sadhnas and finally called himself a Buddha.
But when he died, he claimed that he can't enlighten everyone, and as you can see the suffering exists even today. He showed a path, but we know that suffering is still there in the world even after 2500 years of his passing. This suffering is nothing but these fifty shades of our past experiences, and beliefs.

Thanks!

Change is Life - New year New Aims!

2015-01-08T21:46:00.001-08:00

Hi,

2014 passed smoothly with few hunches in between. Since, January till june 2014, I worked with JNGEC Sunder Nagar, and then in July 2014 I admitted for M.Tech. course at NIT Hamirpur.

I could call that a hunch, in the smooth curve of my life and peace of my mind, because I felt it a bit difficult to again sit in the classrooms in the students' desk.

The good news was that my first eBook, 'Everyday Battle with the Shy Bladder aka Paruresis' had been selling around 7 copies per month. A humble start for the first time self publishing author.

At the same time, it felt good to upgrade my technical qualification, while earning the scholarship for it. Love relationship went bad, then sometimes good and again bad, in all like a sinusoidal wave.

It is hard to tell, whether I was single or in a relationship, but alongside my literary skills were getting better with each blog post that I wrote about it, and each eBook that I bought and had been reading since last 2 years.

It has been a great year, with the year end with another self published eBook, 'Everyday Battle with the Smoke and Cigarette', which I wrote after getting the positive response for the first. It always helps, when I get the emails from the people telling me their experience with my eBook. I want to write two more eBooks this year, and publish them as another services to my readers.

Writing alongside with the regular study of the Geotechnical courses, becomes a little hectic, but somehow I managed it in the last semester, and I hope to manage it in this semester as well. This time I am equipped with the experience, so I hope that it shall be easy to score better grades in my regular courses, and also better writing in my new eBooks.

I think, I should try my hand in the romance fiction, but it would need much free time, so I am tending not to announce anything as of now. Exploring the romantic side of my creativiting and studying the Machine Foundations and underground explorations with field testing simultaneously, will be a thrilling experience, though, therefore I long for it. I shall keep you informed.

I have few resolutions for my daily routine, such as waking up early, running and meditation and then writting at least few lines a day, and studying well, and keeping my personal life personal and happy and all that. It is good to have resolutions, if one can keep them.

In the mean time, you may share yours with me. Also, you may want to check out my eBooks:

'Everyday Battle with the Shy Bladder aka Paruresis'

'Everyday Battle with the Smoke and Cigarette'

Thank you and wish you every bit of happiness that you want this year.

'Happy New Year 2014' with 'Everyday Battle with Smoke and Alcohol'.

2014-12-30T22:53:00.001-08:00

Hi there,

I have been longing for this day, the day, when I publish my second book. Coincidentally, the day is the last day of the year 2014, a year worth remembrance for me. I shall remember, it as a year of transformation for me, a joyful year. First it was the year, when for the first time, I read 12 books(other than my academic books) in a row, one book each month. It happened for the first time for me in my entire life(27 years), so worth rejoicing!

I am sure, you might also had certain moments in the passing year, that made you proud of yourself. I remember, I had some resolutions last year, but I am not rigid with my resolutions. On the other hand, I have resolutions everyday. I write self affirmations everyday, for making myself a better person, and wish same for others.

I brag a lot about my little successes, because it keeps me motivated to do more. Certainly, some people think it to be a show off, moreover a bad thing to do so, but I think it is good to be a show off when it motivates you to do more good for you and others, so instead of trying to be smart by calling others show off, one should show something good of their own.

It was June's second week, I self published an eBook, which I had been writing since January of the same year. 'Everyday Battle with the Paruresis aka Shy Bladder', is an humble attempt to present whatever knowledge and help I could offer for the people who suffer from Paruresis, the social anxiety disorder. The book is available with Amazon's kindle platform only.

The day, I self published that book ,I felt light and quite joyful, a feeling of achievement leapt all over me, and within few weeks, I came up with another idea. I started to write another book. Smoking and drugs are more than just a personal problem, it affects our society. I used to be an smoker, and thankfully, through a constant shift in my perspective about drugs, I confidently became an ex-smoker in April 2013.

Everyday Battle with the Smoke and Alcohol

In June 2014, it was almost one year, since last I touched any cigarette. I was filled with energy and new hopes.I felt quite confident about writing an eBook. I loved writing, so it I thought it would be a great fun to write another book, my own story of struggle with cigarettes with whatever advice that I could offer to others.

I had no rigid plans to finish the book, because I have been busy with my post graduation courses at the same time. Anyway, my real passion is in writing, so I did plan to give at least 20 minute each day for this new project. Today, I feel this another feeling of achievement, because quite satisfactorily I poured down my story and ideas into this another bucket full of words, titled as "Everyday Battle with the Cigarette and Alcohol".

The reason I call it a bucket is, because you may start reading any line or page of this book, and it will be quite useful. It contains my own story of bringing the change in me in the first part of it, and the second part, which I call 'Magic Bullet' is a guide that will make a person realise that he or she doesn't really have to smoke. It covers the psychology of the trap that a smoker is trapped into, and once you understand it, you will feel free at once. No more craving for another cigarette. I am writing this post in the last hours of the year 2014, so want to thank you for all the support you gave to me all throughout the year.

It would not have been possible to write all these posts and eBooks, without the support of you. I am expecting myself soon to go for another project, because that is what I crave for now. I wish you a very happy new year 2014, and want to wish you all the best with the good things that you should crave for.

If quitting cigarettes is one of your new year resolutions, then I would like you to take a look at my new eBook 'Everyday Battle with the Smoke and Alcohol', available for purchase at Amazon's kindle platform.

If you have similar stories, please do share with me, I would love to read them.

Thank you!

How I conquered Shy Bladder aka Paruresis

2014-12-14T05:08:00.000-08:00

" I didn't pee, I stood there for so long, but I couldn't pee", I didn't know exactly the time for which I stood there, but after coming out of the public toilet, that is what I told my father. I was feeling exhausted, pained and defeated with some unknown kind of fear, I couldn't do the easiest job in the world, 'pee'.
"Why? what happened?", he asked. I noticed another person from my own village, 'Sanju', in the toilet itself, but didn't talk to him either, felt shy to talk to him at that moment."I don't know, other people were there, and Sanju too.", I replied.

"Did you talk to him?", asked he, " No I didn't".
"You should talk to the known people, at unknown places", he advised, and so the topic got changed.

At other places, I would have surely talked to Sanju, but in that public toilet, I was shy. Shy to talk and shy to urinate while other people were around me. This may sound funny to some people, but its a phobia with which almost 7% of the world population fights everyday. I was a child of 11 years old age, and was on my way from my village to a boarding school, where I would spend next 6 years of my life.

I knew there was some kind of problem with me, but didn't know how to express it, because of the phobia itself. When I retrospect, I can't notice a single day of my life, when I didn't struggle with it, and moreover, I didn't tell anyone about it. I feel sorry for myself, for being in dark for so long.
This is only 3 to 4 years back, at the age of 23 years, when I did learn that it is called "Paruresis", or Shy Bladder. I felt like 'Oh my God, I was suffering for so long, and I didn't even know what its name is'. More the time you take to overcome a phobia, harder it become.

I read whatever I could find on the internet, there was not as much stuff available on internet that you will find related to other phobias, such as phobia of heights, or phobia of water. I searched for eBooks, but couldn't find any. There was one book by Dr. Steven Soifer, that was available in hard cover only. I peeked into various internet forums, a little scared, hoping not to read anything more bad about myself and phobia.

There were not many forums, except the one website www.ipa.org, where I could read the stories of other people like me. The reason for the limited stuff that I think was the the phobia itself. People are damn shy to talk about it, and moreover, not many people search for it, because we simply accept this mental devil in our life, as a truth, so why to search for it?

Sufferer starts to think that he was simply born to suffer this way, and that I think is not truth. I took a step, that I think would need courage and determination to continue, I started to post about the phobia on one of my blogs. I started meditating and coming out with the expressions for the situation of my phobia, I would write about it. I didn't get famous, of course!, because not many people talk or search for it.

I didn't need fame from it either, I simply wanted to get out of this phobia, and I didn't care if somebody laugh after reading my blog. It became quite normal for me to talk about this phobia, to any of my friends on-line or offline, moreover, I observed myself in public toilets.
I was able to urinate while other people being around me. Sometimes I failed, but it didn't deter my will and hope for a normal life.

I took one step further, I started to write an eBook, that would cover my feelings, partly my story, and whatever solution that I could offer to the fellow sufferers. I didn't know how to write a blog, how to write like authors, but out of my phobia I partly created these qualities in me. Moreover, I think I have more than 70% recovered from this phobia.
Remember phobias are not like headache, which can be cured by taking a pill, there is no 100% cure. In June 2014, I self published my eBook titled as "Everyday Battle with the Paruresis aka Shy Bladder", and it feels great to be an author.

Thank you very much.

P.S.: The full story of my battle and suffering with Paruresis is available in a eBook, which is available on Amazon's Kindle platform only: "Everyday Battle with the Paruresis aka Shy Bladder"
When you read this book, I want you to realize and find out your own true story and share it with me.

Here comes the Examination Again! Calling from the..

2014-11-24T20:08:00.002-08:00

Did the title of this post remind you of any rhyme of a song? If you have listened to that song, it must have. "Wake me up when September ends...Here comes the rain again, falling from the star.. ".. now??
Well, this is funny that I am writing this post, because within one week, I have my final end semester examinations and there is so much to read and understand, however it seems that as the examination is nearer, I am grasping the things much faster, but I think writing it down here can help me a little more.

After the year 2009, this is been a long gap for me to experience the thrill, horror, excitement, happiness(No!, I am not confused with my emotions, we actually feel all of them), and suspense of the examinations. I am writing this very honestly that, I want to appear in the examinations just to experience it once more.

Stressed me a bit! :P (Actually I am not that much stressed, its the camera effect that adds to it)

I want to see if I can do it in a better way, after this long gap. I have no intention to score the highest marks, or scoring the lowest marks, I just want to appear in the examination and want to face the fear once more, which once horrified me during my B.Tech.years to such an extent that I started smoking. I know, its a sad story, but now the time has changed. I am free from the clutch of the smoking and this time, I want to take it single handedly.

It is a kind of record for me to never take a chit(cheating paper), with me into the examination hall, and I am proud of myself for that. I think that the only thing that really helps us to score good in our examination is the understanding and the data of the subject stored in our own mind. If we use other means, it might help us to score good marks, but mind gets corrupted, and in long run, you score very less. In order to keep our mind focused on the right, we must learn to relax also.

Music and meditation can be a good help. I can write a very long post, but as I told you, I have my examination, so I must stop.
Thank you
Bbye!

A story of an ex-Smoker

2014-09-28T01:07:00.000-07:00

Greetings!

After successfully writing my first eBook, I am on my next eBook. In first book, I wrote my own story of Paruresis and a step by step guide to overcome it. You may check it out on Amazon: Every day Battle with the Paruresis aka Shy Bladder.

This was important to be written and shared with the world, because I think many people are in need of such inspirational works, which may

provide them hope and way to get out of the loop hole, in which they are trapped inside. I thought to continue the good work, and this time my focus is onto the habit of smoking and drinking.

I think once a person gets trapped inside this habit, he/she finds it almost impossible to get out from it. It is not that the person don't want to get out of it, they have other reasons for living with the habit.
Most of the time, it is all about being ignorant towards our body and finances.

It is also about our false beliefs, in which we get so tightly trapped that we think that we were born with them. That is the reason that people accept them as the universal truth. Biggest of such a false belief is that once a person gets the habit of smoking, it is impossible to get out of it.
I know you will agree that it is impossible to get out, but please read it again, I said that it is a false belief which is very much strong.

With the last statement, I wanted to put another belief in your mind, but you noticed that it is difficult. This is the reason that people find it difficult to get out of such habits, but in this book, I am going to blow your mind.
I am going to share with you my own story, in very much details, which will help you to understand it better, and get away from it. After telling my own story, I shall offer a step by step written guide to take you out.

I will put a focussing lense on my own mind, and let you sneak inside to understand the similar patterns which were holding you back from leaving your unhealthy habit. The book is almost 40 % complete, but I think it will take few more months to get complete.

Thanks for your kind visit!

What inspires me to Travel

2014-08-27T11:54:00.003-07:00

Hello there!
Well, today I feel little heavy on my head, so I have to put it out. I already have posted about my admission into the M.Tech. program in Geotechnical Engineering and Underground Structures at NIT Hamirpur. I don't know if this is easy for people to officially become a lecturer in an Engineering college and then to re-take admission into another Engineering institute as a student.
Tarun, as I have already mentioned in many earlier blog posts, one of my college mate, friend and senior from my Alma mater, suggested to me that I should write a post on my experience of becoming a student again after 5 years of working, well, I have plans to do so.

This post is not about that, but, I want to write about what else I have in my mind. Tarun has introduced me to some of the lovely places at my own home state. As he has a good hobby of trekking up to the Himalayas and posting the stories into his personal website tarungoel.in, he inspired me further to write some new content into my travel blog, which I had started just for the sake of starting a travel blog.

It didn't make me popular like he has been through his travel blog, because I know it takes real passion to become the one, but surely, those few trekking and bike riding trips has increased my geographical sense. Now I confidently can tell the difference between North and East, which I used to get confused with. Other than Tarun, there is one another person in my life who inspires me to do frequent traveling and explore more.

This is not a world tourist or any famous adventurer, not Indiana Jones, neither James Bond, it is a girl, officially but secretly my girl friend. I can't explain it logically but it makes sense to me, in an unexplainable way, I feel good to travel now, in a more sensible way. I want to take her along and travel around the Globe, that is the reason that I have put the name of my traveling blog as "Travels Around the Globe".

One of the new age technology and innovation is the Google Maps, which really helped me to get in touch with the world map. However, I considered myself a fool in Geography, I am confident that change is the law of nature and I am not different than nature.

Since last two weeks, days have been more than just busy, I am not a lecturer anymore. Attending 3 classes makes me tired enough to feel dizzy in the second half of the day. Still, I try to do the self study and write few blog posts twice in a week. I hope God will open up some ways.

Do you have same hobbies? I would love to hear from you, so please do share.

Thanks for your kind visit!

Another Jump - joined the M.Tech. programme at NIT Hamirpur

2014-08-14T22:41:00.000-07:00

Hi, this is been a long time, since I have posted here. How have you been?
I came in to post a new update from my life events. After getting a graduate degree in Civil Engineering from NIT Hamirpur in April 2009, on 11th August 2014 I again joined the college for another degree .

In the last 5 years, I have worked as a Civil Engineer with 2 different 'Ltd.' construction companies, and as a lecturer with 3 different Engineering Institutes in Himachal Pradesh.

When I look back, it looks a bumpy ride, with many other joyful moments in between. I have built the sense and feeling of being independent in my own ways, such as in the matters of finances and relationships. Reason why I feel independent is that I set the boundaries for myself and I follow them.

Standing by the side of the Admin Block NIT Hamirpur - clicked on 11th August 2014

I would love to continue my teaching and writing profession, that is the reason that I have chosen another higher degree in Civil Engineering. Its going to be in "Geotechnical Engineering and underground Structures".

Since my last days of stay at the institution in the year 2009, NIT Hamirpur infrastructure has gone a lot of improvements . The Administrative block looks more attractive in many ways, nos. of hostels has been constructed and are in serving conditions, and nos. of departmental buildings has been added to the map of the NIT Hamirpur Infracture.

In terms of faculty members, I think this is a good thing that the older faculty is still working in Civil Engineering department, because experience matters a lot and if they keep upgrading with the new information and knowledge, which they surely have been doing, there is nothing better I can get.

This surely is gonna be an exciting time for the next two years, I am planning to continue the write up of my next eBook, which is on the habit of 'Smoking and Drinking'. I will share with you the story of a man, who got rid of this habit to make his life more beautiful and meaningful.

If you have not checked my last eBook, please go to the following link ' Everyday Battle with the Paruresis aka Shy Bladder'. Not a bestselling yet, but yes the book actually is doing the business and that is really a big boost for me to write more and more for you.

Thanks to everyone who has wished me good luck, I hope you will keep the love coming.

Sanjay.

Planning for M.Tech. from NIT SriNagar- Should I Go or Not?

2014-07-12T00:03:00.001-07:00

Hi, How have you been? For me, last one month was a total relax, however, a little bit lazy though. In june I published my eBook titled "Everyday battle with the Paruresis aka Shy Bladder" on the Amazon's kindle platform. I am glad that eBook has started to do the business, and I have hopes that once the book reaches up to the the desired customers, it will be selling itself at the rate of around 500 copies a month.

Now I am on my next eBook, this will be on the cure for smoking habits, through my own experience. Apart from the writing, as of now, I am confused a little bit. After cracking the GATE 2014, with an all India rank of 6199, I am not getting much of the options for pursuing my M.Tech.

In the 4th round of the ccmt(Centralized counselling for M.Tech/M.Arch./M.Plan Admissions) 2014, I got a seat at NIT Srinagar, in the Water Resources Engineering (WR).

I wanted a seat in the nearby NIT at Hamirpur, so I am confused if I should take the admission at Srinagar or not, because after round 4, there is the round of spot admission. In the past, they say that the seats gets vacant, after the round 4, because many seats gets cancelled or vancant.

NIT Srinagar on Google map

I searched that NIT Srinagar is one of the oldest NITs in India, but being situated at Kashmir, which is sometimes linked with the terrorism, many people may not prefer the place. Except this one single negative point, Srinagar has a lot to offer in terms of its scenic beauty and clean, healthy environment.

NIT Srinagar is situated on a wonderful location, it is located on the western bank of the Dal lake and it on east of the Anchar lake.

It is situated in the Hazratbal, an urban area, so one will get all the facilities. There is an airport only at a distance of 20-30 kms, but the nearest Railway station is at Jammu. By road, you have to follow the NH-1A renamed as NH-44, to reach this place.

Place is having an elevation of about 1700m above the MSL, so in winters it gets a load of snowfall and one can enjoy the beauty of the place to the fullest. I am ready to take all the risk but at last one thing that haunts me is not many placements for M.Tech., however, I don't really want a placement, but as an alternative arsenal in my pocket, I need to consider it.

Have you ever met such a situation in your life? What should I do? Should I go for NIT Srinagar or Should I wait for spot round to get admission at NIT Hamirpur? Or Should I leave the idea of M.Tech. and continue my job as a lecturer which is again not a much paying job at all?

Don't get much worried about me, everything I write here is just a self talk, but still I appreciate any response from my friends and readers.

Thanks for your kind visit!

An eBook on Paruresis aka Shy Bladder or Bashful Bladder/Kidneys

2014-06-08T19:10:00.001-07:00

Hi, How you doing?

Yesterday i.e. 8th June, 2014 was an awesome day of my life, the reason is that I published my self authored book titled as "Everyday Battle with the Paruresis aka Shy Bladder".
Shy bladder, as we all know is a phobia by which about 7% of the world population is suffering.
Being one of those people, I dug deep into the psychology and created this self help manual for myself which I just shared with the world too.
Formally, I was planning to write this book since Jan 2014, and it took me only 3 weeks to type my the thoughts into the words on a digital form. I think this work is going to be one of my best work of my life, I am highly satisfied with my self.
If the book gets appreciated and liked by the people who need it, this will double my happiness.
The book is available on the Kindle format, so you can go to Amazon's Kindle platform to buy this book.

Everyday Battle with the Paruresis aka Shy Bladder: (Pee Like Manneken Pis)

Cover page of "Everyday with the Paruresis aka Shy Bladder" by Sanjay Kumar

For US residents, please go here: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00KUNMIAC
For Indians, please go here : http://www.amazon.in/gp/product/B00KUNMIAC
For UK residents, please go here: https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B00KUNMIAC
For DE residents, please go here: https://www.amazon.de/dp/B00KUNMIAC
For FR residents, please go here: https://www.amazon.fr/dp/B00KUNMIAC
For ES residents, please go here: http://www.amazon.es/gp/product/B00KUNMIAC
For IT residents, please go here: https://www.amazon.it/dp/B00KUNMIAC
For the people from JP, please go here: https://www.amazon.co.jp/dp/B00KUNMIAC
For the people from BR, please go here: https://www.amazon.com.br/dp/B00KUNMIAC
For the people from CA, please go here: https://www.amazon.ca/dp/B00KUNMIAC
For the people from MX, please go here: https://www.amazon.com.mx/dp/B00KUNMIAC
For the people from AU, please go here: https://www.amazon.com.au/dp/B00KUNMIAC

Thank you for you kind visit!
(Any suggestions/comments are welcome)

I am Writing a book

2014-06-01T02:08:00.001-07:00

Hi,
Writing 2-3 pages a day can take you about 50 days to write a book containing 100 pages. I am going with the same intensity, it is about 1/3rd of the book completed now.

I am writing a book on the Paruresis which is also known as shy bladder, bashful bladder and bashful kidneys etcetera.
This book will contain the insights into the life of people who suffer from Paruresis. I already have written other articles on the same topic in this blog and in my another blog titled as 'Spirituality and physical health'.
After a 2 years study of the online content, I think there is a need of a book which I am writing. There are few other books on the topic but I think their cost is high, so I am preparing my own mannual.
There are so many methods offered and suggested by many in the online world, this book will contain all those methods.
I will try to do my best, rest is to be decided by the readers.
I am excited to complete this book as fast as possible because I have so many other things to do.
I have planned to finish this book within few weeks and then it will be available on Amazon's digital section.

Thanks for your kind visit!

Where is it going?

2014-05-15T09:36:00.001-07:00

Hi friend,

How you doing? Do you feel that you need answers to so many questions at once? Life seems complicated when it is filled with questions and more so when questions are about the life itself.

I have few questions in my mind and one of them which is most important and which is stopping or making me a little shy to post these questions here is that is it good or okay to have such questions in life?

Why does every day seems like another battle day?
Why do I have to think all the time?
Why my problems not taken care of by itself or by someone such as God?
Is it only me who feel this way, and if others also feel same way does it really matters to me?
Why do people hurt each other? specifically those whom you love the most hurts you most.
If God really is there, why he doesn't show up and tell me to not worry about anything because of him being there.
Why I feel that my voice is unheard, and everybody closes their ears to whatever I have to say?
Why does it feel that I can do anything and can achieve anything but then suddenly feel being falling from the height of a tower to a muddy ground?
Why do people play games? Do I also seems to be playing games with them?
If yes, then how can I stop hurting them?
Is it possible to make a relationship with someone without hurting them?

I think these are enough for today, if you have anything to share with me please write into the comment box.

Thanks for your kind visit!

Singing in TWASK 2014(Annual Tech fest of JNGEC)

2014-04-14T07:26:00.001-07:00

Hi, How you doing?

Today, I updated my Facebook status message on the morning of 14th April 2014, with following lines:

" Fear is before you put your feet on the stage, once you are there, you enjoy every bit of it. Singing is also one of my interests and today I feel so light after performing at TWASK 2014(Annual Technical Festival of JNGEC).

Thanks to the organizers and every person behind. :)".

Back of the T-Shirt designed for faculties on TWASK 2014

Although this was a Dr. Ambedkar Jayanti too but, this was more personal so, those words naturally came out because this was a lovely yesterday evening when I performed singing on stage in front of about 800 audience after a period of about 6 years. I love music and I have done it at small gatherings 100 of times but this was the best of all of them.

Last time this was at NIT Hamirpur where I performed two times one at an alumni meet (2006 or 07) and another was a singing competition in NIMBUS both at NIT Hamirpur Auditorium.

As of today, I am a faculty member at JNGEC Sunder Nagar so, the specialties of this performance were:

Faculties rarely perform like singing on such events.
I performed duet with a student.

Me(Sanjay) with Shiwani for the singing performance in TWASK 2014

I got compliments from people who met me after function that this was a lovely performance. Me and Shiwani performed four songs one after other in the following sequence:

Baareesh (Yaariyan)
Do lafzon ki hai Dil ki Kahani (Yaarana)
Chain aapko mila (Hungama)
Chaand Cupa Badal mein (Hum Dil de chuke Sanam)

We sung them in Rangoli format, singing only parts of the songs. Shiwani is a good singer and matched with my voice.

Thanks for your kind visit!

Normalization of Marks in GATE 2014

2014-03-28T09:15:00.004-07:00

Hi,
This post is a following to my previous post "Fever GATE 2014" which I wrote on a day, 2 days before the GATE 2014 examination. I was not willing to appear in examination but, today the results are out and I am happily sharing this post with you.
I scored 38 marks in the morning session exam and they cut 2.25 marks to bring my normalize score to 35.7. Normalization might sound unfair but, after studying the method they used to normalize the marks, one has to accept it.

I was discussing the method with some of my friends living at Sunder Nagar and they explained the method of normalization which sounds correct. They separately averaged the marks obtained by all candidates appeared in the two sessions and compared them. The session getting higher average marks was considered easy and so their marks were to be reduced, they prepared a normalization formula to normalize the marks.

Fair enough?.... Sounds fair to me. I know it matters/affects much to the candidates having higher scores such as in 60s because their higher ranking matters a lot to get the best college or PSUs. Guys! what else could they have done? Nothing else comes to my mind so, let's co-operate with the system and ourselves.
I want to thank my friends, students(you made me study) and my teachers and colleagues. Honestly I thought that there was no hope for me with Civil Engineering because, I left that in the early years of my 4 years college degree because I was least interested in it.

Today, I am happy and this post is just to tell you that I am happy because of you. Although, I am not a qualified person to guide you enough but, if you are going to appear next year in GATE examination still I would love to help anything if I can so, please write in to me.

Thanks for your kind visit!

Professing Engineering.. and why do I love my students

2014-02-11T06:58:00.003-08:00

I think this post is now a necessity of my blog, it is 2 years and almost eight months since I am offering lectures on various Civil Engineering subjects.

Me with Auto-Level -( at JNGEC Sunder Nagar)- (Photo courtesy- Tarungoel.in)

Working with Abhilashi group of Institutions was a fresh start so, I learned my first talk with my dear students which were the first batch of this newly founded institute at Chail Chowk. I have a feeling that my first meeting with the students is always a joyful and interesting one. In first meeting I like to introduce myself and then know them. I try to learn their names which can be an easy task if, the students take interest in my subject.

I taught "Strength of materials" and "Surveying" to my first students, I wanted to teach them further but due to location and money I switched to SIRDA group of institutions. I always loved my students and my new students were also lovely, most of them were girls. SIRDA was a girls college when it started but it became a co-educational(boys and girls both) 3 years ago.

Teaching becomes an emotional task when the students start to wish you good mornings and afternoons in the streets or markets where-ever they meet you. Feeling special even when you get a few cash every month, seems logical because you feel and share the old college moments in them.

A click at my motor-cycle with JNGEC on a silent, shining, cold morning.

Some moments which you yourself have never felt, comes out through them, finally emerging through you and makes you feel fulfilled.

A great amount of satisfaction is felt, when you teach them something which you think to you have taught them something very much profoundly which, you felt to also have deserved at your times but you were not taught that way. Then a disappointment is felt when you think that you have taught them at your best but still they are not performing as expected.

That is the point where you need to remind yourself of your own days with your teachers. I know ours teachers might have felt the same way because, they also must have tried their best. They taught you next day even if you were sleeping in their previous class.

They will again try to make it more interesting for you and at some time they become successful in doing so. I can feel their happiness and fulfillment in our fulfillments. I know this because, I feel same way when I come across such events.
JNGEC Sunder Nagar have made my teaching skills a little better because, here I am not time bounded to attend the college at sharp 9:00 AM and leave at 5:00PM but, I can go when-ever my lecture is scheduled.

Heart touching words from Civil Engg. batch(2011-14)(Gitasha and friends)- SIRDA polytechnic

Freedom from un-necessary formalities is one of lovely attractions for me to work for. Getting salary on the right time even if it is less than the previous ones gives more satisfaction than a salary which you got after being forced to feel like a beggar. Getting appreciated for the good work is one of the prime motivation for any professional.

One most important appreciation is one from your own students, their appreciation gets reflected in their smiley faces when you enter the class-room. Their appreciation is reflected when they are present in the class-room at sharp 9:00AM and not asking for attendance if they are late.

Their appreciation is also reflected when they personally call you to inform you when they are on mass bunk so that, I should not expect them being present in class-room when they are not.
Some of the mass bunks are genuine which might be for appearing in some kind of test/exams etc. but, generally mass bunks are some secret pleasure giving weapons with students which can not be defined by anyone, in a logical way.

A Lunch party organised by first batch of SIRDA for their teachers on the occasion of having 100% result in their final exams (21-05-2013)

In class, some students are too much observed in the subject matter and some are in their own mind fighting and playing with their last night dreams and then smiling a times when you least expected them but, it is not their fault because they smile in some different places, not in classrooms.

Day dreaming is one of the common jobs for many of them and poking them out of it is one of the enjoyable one for me.
Teaching have a numbers of challenges with it but are interesting enough to deal with.
At last, I love you all, for being my companions in learning and I hope we will go far distances.
Thanks!

Learned Swimming Through a Near-Death Experience

2014-02-05T07:54:00.005-08:00

If I had asked them, many of my Navodaya (Jawahar Navodaya Vidyalaya) friends might not have allowed me to share this story. It was our secret to take swimming lessons from each other in the Beas River. While we always managed to return safely, the risks we took could have raised serious questions about the security of students in our boarding school.
The Plan: A Cloudy Day and Bold Decisions

"Aaj chalna hai?" ("Shall we go today?") These words were enough for me and Suraj (name changed) to understand the plan. The sky was cloudy, and only the two of us—Suraj and I—were ready for our secret "after-lunch swimming" practice in the Beas River.

Sneaking Out of the Hostel
Our hostels were fenced to restrict entry and exit, and we were part of the first batch directly admitted to these newly constructed hostels in 1998. It was winter, probably January or February of 2002, and the cold season was in full swing. After lunch, between 2:00 PM and 3:00 PM, students were expected to rest in their hostels. But some of us found this hour perfect for our unauthorized swimming adventures in the Beas River.
Nervous Excitement at the Riverbank

After finishing lunch, we descended through the narrow, shrub-lined footpath to the riverbank. The river, wide during the monsoons, had a narrow and transparent flow in winter. As usual, a wave of nervous excitement hit me as we reached the bank. Learning something new was always thrilling, but the butterflies in my stomach were undeniable.
Preparing for the Cold Waters
We oiled our bodies—a precaution suggested by friends to prevent skin problems in the cold water. Clothes were left on the rocks, and we stepped into the river even without our underwear. At 13, we were too young to care about modesty or anyone watching.
Learning to Float and Pedal
I began practicing by holding onto a half-immersed stone for support while pedaling my feet in the water. My biggest hurdle was learning to keep my eyes open underwater, as I was essentially blind whenever my head went under. Suraj, meanwhile, swam effortlessly, demonstrating strokes on both sides of the river.
The Moment of Panic
I was making slow progress, pedaling about three meters in shallow water with my eyes closed. For safety, I would stay in water up to my chest and always face the bank before starting. But as I stood on a submerged boulder with water touching my throat, something went wrong.
Suddenly, I lost my footing—either due to fear or the river’s current. In an instant, I was completely underwater, hearing only the sound of bubbles before they disappeared into silence.
A Cinematic Flashback and Survival
Panic gripped me as I flailed to find the riverbed. For a moment, I remembered Hrithik Roshan’s drowning scene from the movie Kaho Naa Pyaar Hai. Strangely, the cinematic similarity distracted me from fear, giving me a brief sense of presence of mind.

I felt the riverbed beneath me and instinctively pushed off, reaching the surface. I managed to gasp, "Suraj, bacha (Save me...)" before going under again. Suraj, realizing my struggle, grabbed my hand and dragged me toward shallower water. Finally, I opened my eyes, relieved to be alive.
A Rebirth and Renewed Determination
That moment felt like a rebirth. Suraj never mentioned the incident to anyone, nor did I, as it could have led to punishment for both of us.

The next day, however, brought new adventures. With a larger group of friends, I surprised everyone with my sudden progress. Instead of vowing never to swim again, I became determined to cross the river. Fueled by newfound courage, I declared my intention—a bold and slightly foolish move that boosted my confidence.
Taking the Challenge to Cross the River
One of my friends carried my trousers to the opposite bank, taunting, "Tu ise khud leke jayega" ("You’ll carry it back yourself"). His belief in me was motivating.
I climbed a large rock used for diving, braced myself, and took a leap. My flat dive stung my stomach, but I had no choice but to keep swimming. Miraculously, I reached the other side, elated yet worried about the return journey. Gathering my courage, I swam back, and from that day, the water became less intimidating.
The Joy of Conquering Fear
I learned to open my eyes underwater and even discovered the joy of swimming beneath the surface. This memory remains etched in my heart—a life-changing moment of fear, courage, and gratitude.
Reflections on a Life-Changing Experience
Reflecting on it now, I believe my last breath might carry the same feelings I had that day, a meter below the water's surface. I’ve lost my fear of death because I’ve faced it—and lived to tell the tale.

Note: This is my personal story and doesn’t represent the experience of every Navodaya student. Many followed the rules diligently and gained from the school in other ways. I share this event because it’s tied deeply to my life. If you wish to judge anyone based on this story, judge me—not my school or friends.

Thank you for reading.

Fever "GATE 2014"

2014-01-31T19:00:00.001-08:00

Warning: If you are one of the toppers of your class please don't read this post. I will prepare another one for you.

"I hate examinations, I don't want to give this exam but, I see no other way." that is what I wrote to my friend on Facebook chat. GATE 2014 is on 2nd Feb and I am still confused if I really want to appear in the exam or not. From deep within my heart I don't want to appear in the examination.

I chose Civil Engineering because my father was with me in the counselling at NIT Jalandhar and he picked up NIT Hamirpur, which only offered Civil Engineering for me. Now after working in hydro power projects for two years, I had forgot even the names of my subjects. I again picked up the books because I love teaching which I started about 2 and half years ago. I started to study those books which I encountered with at my rare visits to the NIT Hamirpur Library. In my four years degree I bought only three books.

When-ever I go to give a lecture, I go with full preparations and recently I realized that I have created an interest for Civil Engineering. Last year I thought of appearing in GATE which is not my real interest because I am not yet sure of what I will do if I score good in it. I am not interested in M.Tech. and also am not interested in PSUs. But,

Our director at JNGEC has asked me about ten times in last three months "GATE ki taiyari kar rahe ho?". So, that made me pick up the book for about one hour everyday since last two months. I love my teachers and I can't lie to them and I couldn't answer the above question with a 'no' to them. He use to be our Hydrology professor at NIT Hamirpur.

Today it is 1st Feb and last night I dreamed myself sitting in examination hall with question paper in my hand. I attempted about 30 questions and left the structural mechanics and structural analysis part which I have prepared good, because time ran away so fast that three hours seemed as one minute. So, dream is giving me a bad feeling but reality is going to unfold itself tomorrow.

Currently I am sitting in front of my laptop and Sun has just popped out of the mountain head which is at about 45 degree angle from my window. I am listening to Aaron Carter to his new song and I feel very light after posting this post. If you one of the aspirants of GATE 2014, and if you read this post before tomorrow, best of luck to you for your GATE examination and if later then I would love to read your story.

So, Please share it with me. Thank you!

A confusing day

2014-01-17T06:50:00.000-08:00

So, here I am sitting in front of my laptop with nothing really in my mind to share with you. I feel bored with my day to day activities and my job. In the recent days I have figured out some goals for me and I write them in my personal note-book everyday.

Writing them everyday reminds me of what I am going to achieve or what I have achieved both. Robin Sharma, Neil Strauss, Pat Flynn, and John Lee Dumas are the people whom I listen or read through the email newsletter and podcasts.

All these men have suggested to have goals in life. Pat Flynn advised not to have goal on new year's eve but to have them everyday in your mind. Everyone have their own strategies to set the goals in life.

Neil Strauss provided me 10 days free newsletter course in which he sent 10 videos on each email. Robin Sharma sends me with a numbers of quotes, Pat flynn and John Lee Dumas are the person who run their successful pod-casts "Smart Passive income" and "Entrepreneur on Fire" respectively.

I come here to to blogger.com to write off what ever comes to my mind. I have few goals in my life, some of them are to be successful with my financial, personal, sexual and a life filled with a numbers world trips.

I think I am a romantic person but I am not able to express it often. I have two sides of me. One is like a cancer(astrological) who is more of less like water; and another side is Sagittarius(astrological) sign who is more like fire.

If these two sides are in conflict one of them has to die, but they are two parts and I think it is better to keep them away because either fire will die or water will. In real non of them makes my identity because I am not anyone of them.

I am the one who observes them. I have to keep one them forward or both of them forward sometimes. I have to understand that both of them are important to have a world filled with happiness. I have thought of writing a book on overcoming from Paruresis.

I think Paruresis is the result of a suppressed side of me. Which is water side, I have let my fiery characteristics out but less of the water side. I think the solution for me to get rid of Paruresis is to let the water side get out.

This has to be easy because I am determined to do so. One of the other goal that I write daily is to score more than 99 percentile in GATE Civil Engineering 2014. I have practiced multiple choice questions for it. I am still preparing for it, but I was not sure if I really want that or not.

Reading my own my is the hardest thing because, this is filled with so many thoughts and ideas simultaneously. I want a better love life. I had a girl friend who was good with the everything else but on emotional level I felt un-satisfied. I have started my search for a girl friend who can fulfill my emotional desires too.

I want a girl friend who can understand me and whom I can understand too. There are other goals too. I have a goal to be a successful entrepreneur, a world famous teacher, speaker, writer, singer, dancer and leaders. These are numbers of goals which are not specific either.

This is why I am so much confused but I am also confident at some level that I deserve to have all these goals and to achieve them is possible. I want to be a writer who can make a difference in the world by helping/improving someone's life.
I have a goal of being a kind of lover to my girl who must feel 100% secure emotionally as well as physically with me. I want to become a person who must have solution to every problem that other might have in their hand. I have found that reading biographies is interesting thing.

I have started to read them to know what these people did to make their own life successful and other's too. This is a long journey but my mind is impatient and want quick results. I have a dream of becoming a world famous and very much effective Civil engineer who could design houses, bridges, multi-stories, roads, canals, tunnels and also who can teach others to do that.

I feel now a little tired after writing these paragraphs non-stop. I never cross check what I write because I feel what-ever comes out on the first time is the real of me. If I change that after reading it second time then this will be equal to manipulate myself.

I am afraid at some level that you might be judging me with all this, but then I feel that and somehow know that no-body cares for any-body else except their own self. I am writing this page because their is something that I want something out of it, which I don't know yet.

I got this tip from somewhere that best way to know your intuition/sub-conscious mind is to start writing non-stop without using back-space. I have done this from the top of this page. I have used the back-space but not more than for two or three letters(spelling correction).

I feel ashamed sometimes because I am so much open with myself and I share this with the world. I think that if I don't accept my thoughts then how can other accept them. Even if they accept them, then what is that I will get out of it. They accept them and obviously they will get something out of it.

If I accept myself then I will get something out of it, so it doesn't really matter if others accept me or not. I have started living alone. Me and my laptop are best friends these days. Sometimes I find it difficult and feel necessary to call somebody. I call me best students or I call my sister and then /i talk to them in brief.
Sometimes I question myself if I am getting rusted or am I lagging behind? I don't really know that because I have not very much specific/well defined references for me, so I don't know if I lagging behind or moving fast.

I have almost finished this page now and still I don't have figured any specific goal for me, but I feel lighter after writing this big post. I remember a friend nagging me for my writing, I wanted to tell him to "F*CK Off" but the 'water side' of me stopped me from that.
That is what confuses me with myself, I feel to fire and wet and the same time. That never works but I still want to have some way.

I am a very much optimistic person and that is the fiery side of me. I am like a child learning to walk who falls so many times, but never stop to stand up again. So, I feel that I have a mixture of two personalities who don't go well along but, if I learn to get them along then I think I will be most successful as compared to my earlier life.

I will feel or touch the peace and happiness if I am able to bring these two personalities in peace.

I want to rest now, I have to stop now. There is one part of me who to writer further but another want to take a rest. Latter one dominates for now and I stop here.

From a Tunnel Engineer into Lecturer

2014-01-06T05:27:00.001-08:00

Although, mind never stops, but you realize it more clearly when you sit alone, mind will run fast, so fast that if you really try to catch it, this will be the most challenging game.

Hello, After spending about 1 hour with a book and about 15 minutes of physical idleness, finally, I am ready to put this all, here as my next post.

Let me tell you that this post is popping out of my memories. I will try to be interesting and also educational at the same time. Recalling my mindset which, I had about two years back, I see it to be filled with many confusions and tiredness. I was working with a job which I thought I liked. I discovered it now that there was something else which I liked more.

I use to walk through tunnel bed, which was soaked with water on the days and nights, same. Once half asleep, I tried to stand up and almost fell on that moist surface, this was Er. Katoch wearing white Engineer's cap. He had shook me with his voice at mid-night of our night shift. I was trying to sleep and sit at the same time at the junction of the Intermediate adit with main HRT(Head Race Tunnel).

Katoch being the in-charge of the shift was on the round and so, did his duty by telling others what he saw last night. In the down side of the junction lining of the tunnel was the main job and on the up side blasting and propping the shape of the tunnel. One cigarette pack was not enough for one night shift so sometimes asking for spare ones from others(no matter who) was not a shame at all.

Checking the labor was important because competing with the other shift was also one of our passion along with the sleep. Sleeping inside the camper was the best refreshment, which we used to take, turn by turn with the other fellow Engineers.

Tunneling at UHL stage III was started years ago at the end of year 2002, and after "Satyam", Continental this was Abir Infrastructure Pvt. Ltd. who had started to drill it further.

There were so many other factors which, I believe makes it the hardest part of my life. Salary was rarely on time. I ended this job within few months when I wrestled few words with vice president of the company. He was on the site visit and someone had complained something about me, of which I asked the details.

I said "Tell me who complained and what, otherwise I resign here and now itself (I know I forgot politeness but, that is how I become when somebody surprises me with complains)". He took it as a threatening and so, he said okay. I felt relief when instantly, I removed my cap and shoes, picked up the pen and paper and started to write the resignation letter.
I never cared who complained what about me, I was happy to leave that job.

Somehow, I had realized that hydro power projects are not for me. I left Patel Engg. Ltd. with whom I worked as a billing Er. at Loharinag Hydro Electric Power Project at Uttarkashi (Uttarakhand) and now I after about another 9 months I was ready for third job.

With the contacts of Er. Vikas Sood(HPSEB) Uhl Stage-3, I got to know about vacant posts as Lecturer in Civil Engg. Dept. of Abhilashi Group of Institution at Ner Chowk. Within two days I came with a box of sweets and offered it to the site in-charge and the labor too.

This is how it happened, Next day itself I put myself into my cousin brother Mr. Kamlesh's cab who coincidentally was going to Sunder Nagar to meet his Father in laws and family.

Neelu bhai was elder brother of my cousin's wife and was well acquainted with the Engineering college and its managing director(MD). So, it made me little more confident and we in his car we three visited the college.

While replying to the questions asked by MD of Abhilashi Group of Institution, I felt myself to be relaxed and agreed to his view of 'teaching being a respectful and relaxed job'. We negotiated for the salary, and then I came happily outside the building with the appointment letter in my hand.

Chail Chowk - Dec 2011 - Fresh Snowfall on side of my rented room.

Accordingly I joined as the lecturer at the Abhilashi group of Engineering at Chail-Chowk. With the help of my brothers I rented a room at Chail-Chowk and started my another job.

Luckily place was beautiful but was cold and very small, somehow I managed for one semester but in next semester I was in SIRDA college of Engineering. How I got there is another story and then how I got into JNGEC Sunder Nagar is yet another.

This is now the third year of my career as a lecturer at Engineering college and now here I am sitting in another rented room at Sunder Nagar with another mind set. Although I am not excited much about this place because this is boring but I like my job.

I have changed many habits after getting into this profession, I have left drinking and smoking and instead of spending my money on them, I spent it now on books.
Now, I don't remember nightmares but I love to dream and I love to put them in writing too. I have realized blogging as one of my passions.

Now I love to share and you know what, I am ready to learn new ideas and new good stories more than before. Please, don't take that a tunnel Engineer is all about what I have described myself, I am only trying to tell you what suits me not and what suits me.

If something is not good for you, change it until you find it good for you. If something is not good for you, then you are also not good for the thing so, better apart! Find something which you are good for and good for you too!

Is there any such change in your life which you have to share?
Please share it with me, I am ready to listen.

"Human Values and professional ethics"- A workshop experience at SIRDA College of Engineering.

2013-12-28T00:31:00.002-08:00

Hello Friend,
How you doing?

I am here to share with you, my experience of a one week workshop, on a new subject titled as "Human Values and professional ethics" which, I attended on 1st week of January 2013 at SIRDA College of Engineering for free because, this was sponsored by HPTU.

My mind is always humming some song or lines, about love, respect and understanding. I was inspecting and searching for some driving force behind them. This workshop is also one of the reason so, as many of other people(mainly teachers) have shared this experience with me, I think this is a good topic to write about.

This was a new experience for me. All the teachers and staff from the nearby Engineering colleges, affiliated to HPTU, were invited to attend the workshop at SIRDA Group of Institution.

Mr. Kumar Sambhav was the main person who did all the teaching. He made the attendants believe that everybody in this world wants to do good for you and expects same.

Can you believe that everybody in your life is a friend of you, including the person which you still think to be your enemy? You want to believe, but you don't believe.

Same is the case with me but after attending this workshop I think my belief is shaken and I have started to believe this new belief.

Let me explain why is everyone a friend to you.

I will explain it to you by asking the following four questions which they asked to me, please be honest while answering them with a 'Yes' and 'No'.

Do you want to be happy?
Do you want to make others happy too?
Are you always happy?
Do you always make others happy?

Have you answered them? Alright!
Your answer for the first and second question are

and answer for the third and fourth question are

Sometimes Yes and sometimes No
Sometimes Yes and sometimes No

These are 4 simple questions which makes everyone surprised because, everybody has same answers.

If I ask the same question from your supposed enemy, he/she will have the same answers, that means he wants to make you happy too. Isn't this brilliant?

Further, still you are not happy with your enemy because, he/she is lacking with skills, which you also might be lacking in.

So, their is a need to make our skills and understanding to enhance to make everybody happy around us.

This simple questioning can help anybody to understand that everybody around us, who is living being wants the same happiness as we want. Understanding is what is required from everyone.

Coming to conclusion, this workshop gave me a new way of thinking and this really has effected my life for a good change. I can't thank enough the whole team behind this workshop.

Thank you for visiting!

Childhood in my memory - part 1

2013-12-18T11:25:00.000-08:00

A Village on the top of mountain:

I think of a childhood partially lived at home and then at the boarding school and I share it occasionally with friends. Living in that school was own choice of a child of age 10 because, he was not interested in learning at a school which, was at a walking distance of about 2 kms from his home, at the base of the mountain. Reaching home at his village at the top of mountain, at 4:00 PM in the evening and leaving for school at 7:00 AM was the daily routine.

He never loved when his mom told him to live at home while she went outside to collect the grass for the animals from the small grass valleys on the nearby mountains. He cried and thought that his cries will be successful to make them carry him along with them because, he loved to wander at different places.

Some days he didn't love to bath because the soap was itchy to his eyes and he loved to sit in front of fire afterwards until water drops were on his body skin. He feared some ghosts hiding inside the room of home.

He loved Sun and loved to wander over the mountains in the day but, his mother thought he was small yet and would not be able to walk with her. After living a childhood with his cousin sisters and an elder brother and few others from the village whom he never really liked much because, he already had tried smoking and was introduced to masturbation.
So, somehow he believed that these all things make a child into a man. What a tragic thing was going on, he was confused with the idea of a true man, he must have been introduced to the great leaders and somehow he was introduced to ignorance. Deep down, his soul denied all this, he knew that this was not right, he had to find the right.

This was a child who was having certain dangerous beliefs which could have ruined his life and who knows, of others too. Childhood is a very delicate state of a human mind and once, scars gets their place in, it is very difficult to live a normal life.

There was no man made toilet facilities at that time in the villages so, one has to go to the open areas away from the village. Once he broke his arm by falling from somewhere and penalized his mother, she already had so much other work to do.
She herself had seen a limited geographical world, this village and her childhood village to be precise. Still a mother has no option but to do whatever she can, she went to the nearby town and managed to get the plaster on the arm. That is mother.
His father use to have only about 2 months holidays in a year, other months he offered his services to Indian Para-military.

While she spoke of her girl child who was no more in this world, tears rolled down from her eyes and although he never saw his sister, he felt a part of the feelings too. After weeping, she would tell her listener that she got a little engaged with him, because he was born afterwards. He had seen this session of weeping and telling the same line about him, many times. He never wanted his mother to cry so, while his own eyes watered but always hiding them, he would ask her not to cry

Preparations for a change:

Somehow this is not what he wanted in life so, was happy to announce that he is leaving the home to go to study in a better school. With the help of the head-master at school, he filled the entrance form for Jawahar Navodaya School Mandi.

He feared of the rejection by his parents, of his demand to go to the boarding school because he thought that once he is away from home, he is going to get a lot of freedom, because there will be no brother and mother who can show authority over his own actions. He was thrilled with the thought of freedom. Freedom from the boring routines and the threat of his father yelling at him, and making him do the things in his own way. He feared to lose the un-attained freedom.

Freedom from a childhood which he loved from few reasons, but almost hated due to certain reasons. He knew his parents loved him, but he hated the path of fear. He never loved to be fear driven, which he felt when he thought of the punishment which he might get if he do not follow certain rules or order. May be his parents never would have thought it to be this much difficult for him, but it was. He had become aggressive with his own behavior.

He had already lived a life of almost 10 years in which, he loved to be the topper of his class and he loved his parents to give him 10 rupees to treat every person met on the day in the village with a candy on the day of final annual results on 31st march. Up to 4th standards every year, he followed that candy sharing rountine as an annual ritual on 31st March because he loved to be topper of a class of 5 chldren who were from the same village.

He sang a 2 lined poem with other children when the day(31st March) neared every year, which goes like this :

"31 March ka din aayega,

koi hansega koi royega" (March 31st will come, some will laugh(happy) and some will cry)

Of course he always laughed, and shared the candies with the people of the village. This lovely academic past and the teaching of his school headmaster who, offered free coaching at his home which was in the other village and so, with the residential support of his far related sister he got prepared for the examination. The year was 1998 when he went to give the exam at GSSS Chauntra.

Finally! the result came and it was positive.

Jawahar Navodaya Vidyalaya - A child's home

He was confused and shy to share anything with his new friends at the new place. He started living in a hostel, named as Shivalik Hostel, which was occupied with the children of his own age and children of age 16.

Children of age 16 appeared to him as his triple in his over all body size and among all these giants(as appeared to him), there was Ravi, who was basically from a nearby village of his home village. This 11th standard commerce student was welcomed him along with his parents, and promised that he is going to take care of him.

Living in the hostel was not an easy job for everyone, and for him also, because he never liked to see them cry for their parents, or over some issue with seniors which was occasional in the hostel. There were some issues, like juniors were forced to wash their cloths by their seniors forcefully. Some children were brave enough to tell it to their parents.

He was not worried much about such issues until the end of class 7, because this was the year when Ravi passed out from the school. He wrestled with some of his classmates as a famous show to some of his seniors, but never a serious fight. He warned his seniors with the name of Ravi, who already had slapped someone whom he reported to be disturbing me.

He had a habit of wandering here and there so Ravi had nick-named his as "Chiru" which means a bird. However he never learned the reason behind the name, so he hated the name. But he never opposed his seniors to call him by the name especially Ravi, because he was protective and was acting as an elder brother. He loved his real name "Sanju" and loved when they called him by that name. Some of the hostel mates learned about this and they called him by his real name only, and he always was sincere enough to return the good behavior.

He never thought that this was going to be like this, a place where there were more routines than, he could ever have imagined. There was a ring of bell for every action throughout the day. Morning was not at 7:00AM but at 5:00AM in summer and at 5:30AM or 6:00AM in the winters. Eyes never opened in the arms of the mother, but they were opened by the cold air which ran in the opposite direction with the same speed and sometimes faster with which he moved along with other 400 to 500 students of the school.

There were the facilities of the bathroom and toilets attached to the dormitories where lived almost 80 students in each one of the four. They were named by the name of the mountains "Shivalik", "Aravali", "Udaigiri" and "Neelgiri".

The school was very near to the Beas river which originates from Parvati and then follows a very dangerous path of deep valleys. Finally it went to the lower destinations through the back side of the school.

To be contd....

Thought Controlling

2013-12-10T03:37:00.000-08:00

Meditation (Image source: Google images)

Hi,
It is always amazing to start my day with meditation. I feel more fulfilled and happy. I have so much energy after I meditate for a while.
Each Time I feel dizzy, I sit in the Sidhasna or Sukhasna, hands on the knees or in the Venus lock mudra and close my eyes.
Take a deep breath,... hold,....... exhale!
Take second deep breathe, hold, ... exhale!
You will feel relaxed and then,

All I have to do is just observe my breathing, say "Sauuu!" while it is in, and say "Hummm!" while it is coming out.
If your hands are on the knees, facing downwards, just follow the two words I use, you will get an instant relaxation.

You have to observe your breathe, that is all! but that is the biggest challenge for almost any human being in this earth.
People can not do that, you know why...? . because they are controlled by their mind.
Mind is constantly thinking and thinking and you don't even know it.
This is the first realization for a beginner of the meditation. You will realize how much disorganized and disobedient it is, it will not listen to your order. If this is the case then you need more practice to teach your mind to obey you.

So all you have to do is to sit in the meditation posture and observe your breathe. You have to teach it to get shut up. Initially it will teach you, or may conspire against your plan to conquer it, but if you are determined, just follow the meditation.
You will have the first taste of happiness and peace once, your thoughts stop coming on the screen. You must understand that this is the state which is to be regularly practiced, Everyday!
Make meditation as the most important work of your daily routine imagine, if you are forced to hold your breath, you will die.
Same way if your do not practice the mind control, you are already dead!
So take the charge of your mind, and learn to leave in freedom, this is happiness and peace.

Thanks!

I Feel Sad

2013-10-31T03:36:00.002-07:00

HI,
Sometimes a very beautiful pre-assumed morning, turns into a shock with a whole day of mental disturbance and still I am not able to digest the whole incident which I saw at NH-21(the most busiest road in the Mandi district) so, came up this blog post. I saw two policemen standing at the driveway near to my rented room.

Damaged Car on NH-21 Chatrokhri, Sunder Nagar

I was not surprised to see a damaged car(they can be seen everyday here and there at Sunder Nagar) which invited them after hitting a huge tree on the side of the road, opposite to the GSSS, Sunder Nagar, Salah.
It was 6:15 AM in the morning and only very few morning air lovers could be spot and only a single woman was there with the policemen discussing the whole scene.

If this was afternoon, scene may have looked much different because, more people are available to notice. Almost, everyday accidents happen in this local area of Sunder Nagar and that is why it seems a normal incident to look at, but this is not normal.

This is the same spot which I cross each day after giving the noticeable indicator of my motor-cycle, and I do the same everyday but I was almost hit to death by a car once few months earlier. I got noticed a few seconds earlier by the car driver so, thanks to his consciousness but, I hated him for driving at such a high speed. The road stretches straight up to 300 to 400m, and people drive at the speed of their heart, forgetting to consult their mind.

What I found after hearing the discussion, made me very sad, a man(father of girl) who was driving to Chandigarh to catch a flight for her daughter. Girl was without the seat belt and left her parents shocked. No one would ever have imagined that it could be so fast and furious, but that is what happens when this is a road accident. I didn't speak or inquired anything to the policemen, except a click with a flash.
I want to suggest to everyone to take various precautionary measures while driving such as wearing the seat belt and driving with full consciousness. I supposed that the gentleman was still half asleep which triggered this life taking accident.

Thanks for your kind visit!

Meditation and Yoga- A New Horizon for Me

2013-09-25T09:30:00.002-07:00

Hi,

I am here to add few more words to my older post because, I never post anything such as a full and final. There is always a place for up gradation which you can find later with your new experience and knowledge.

Recently I read a book titled as "Auto-biography of a Yogi" by Parmahansa Yogananda. He lived a life of a Yogi directed by a cosmic force which was with him since his childhood. He experienced this force at many events and has shared those moments in this book.

He found his Guru Sri Yukteswar Giri and followed the life directed by him. Sri Yukteswar Giri was a disciple of Sri Shyama Charan Lahiri Mahasaya who had learned the Kriya Yoga from that cosmic force the greatest of all Yogis of India, Mahavatar Babaji.

There is a very long story which can not be covered in this post so, you have to read this book by Parmahansa Yogananda to know all.

What I am here to share with you is that now I am curious about the Kriya Yoga and I have searched internet to know the sources to learn this art.

I visited a Youtube Channel in which Mr. Ryan Kurczak is offering free videos of the Kriya Yoga.

Ryan Kurczak is a disciple of one disciples of Swami Parmahansa Yogananda.

As per the Parmahansa Yogananda he has written in his book that it is important to learn Kriya Yoga from one of your Gurus under their guidance so, he didn't shared the techniques in the book by himself.

Guidance is important for learning the true Kriya Yoga so, I was afraid if some people might share the wrong guidelines. Still curiosity makes us watch such videos and I myself watched these videos and found that many of the techniques of the Kriya Yoga are currently in use under different names.

People are teaching them on TV programs with different names. I have not searched much about all their history so it will not be okay to comment on their authenticity. I have this intuition that Kriya Yoga is a very good practice and one must learn these techniques to make their life a better one.

I practice the meditation regularly which, I have not learned from any Guru but through some books on meditation and few TV programs I have learned the "Sau-Hum" meditation and the "Nadi-Shaudhan" or "Anulom-Vilom" or some call it "alternate nostrill breathing".

I also have heard about the Osho-meditation techniques and soon I will put my hands and head on his techniques too.

I also came to know about this interesting mudra known as Venus lock. I see that many Yogis sit in this mudra while they are in meditation. Internet surfing can teach you many things these days, I tried it by myself, and I have an instant feeling that this mudra affects a person in a good way. It is just 3 to 4 months now and I find myself able to concentrate better.

About Venus Lock Mudra:

Venus Lock for men

Here is a picture uploaded to explain the Venus Lock for men. Right thumb is touching the fleshy area at the base of the left hand thumb on the inside face of the hand. So, the little finger is at the bottom of the fingers interlacing grip. You have to sit in this mudra and you have to press a little the fleshy areas at the bases of the thumb.