dot dot dot...

moved

2013-09-08T01:48:00.000-07:00

As who ever is reading this have already guessed...I am moving over to wordpress, and making that my main blog. who knows, I may return to this blogger...but until then find me over at paulinenguyen.wordpress.com or beyoutifuldep.wordpress.com. I know I am not the best at keeping my blogs up to date with regular posting...but I try and do what I can. bare with me and feel free to follow along.

The "P" Sisters

2012-01-06T12:47:00.000-08:00

Skin Care

2011-08-25T16:16:00.000-07:00

I find myself obsessing over skincare. I am always looking at products, buying skin care products, and keeping my skin from being exposed too much to the sun. I have more skin care products than I do makeup. I think this is where most of my money goes. I feel that if anything, skin care products are the ones to splurge or spend money on.

We all have our obsessions and likes. Mine just so happens to be skin care. I think it has to do with wanting to keep my skin young and healthy looking. I know that a lot of Asians put a lot of money into skincare and keeping their skin healthy. My aunts are exactly like that, she spends a lot of her money on skin care products and now only uses Asian skin care products. I used to only use American Skincare products,but since I started using Asian skin care products, it seems to be the only skincare products i use now. why? because I feel like the American products does not do justice to my Asian skin. I find the Asian products more suitable to my skin and works better. I also used to use skin care products made in France. That too, also worked...somewhat but I use mostly only Asian products now. I still use American brands here and there. but only because Asian products are a little on the pricey side so yea. I just love skincare products and trying out new stuff and looking at skin care products.

I guess, I bring this up because I have been wanting to buy another skin care product, and have been looking at skincare products. I am so tempted, but I cant buy because I need the money for school. Until I can get a job, I will have to wait :(

oh gym

2011-07-06T11:37:00.000-07:00

So, I woke up at 8:30am today, a little too early if you ask me considering that during summer, I usually wake up at 12pm and that I have had trouble sleeping lately. Anyway,GYM...I have no idea why I hate going to the gym so much and working on the mach and working on the machines. I guess I just get bored? then there's the "i don't know what else to do, or I don't know what to do"

I guess I like working out with a class because it's fun. I make it fun. My favorite way of exercising and getting into shape would be swimming! I love swimming, I love the water, anything with water I will do and enjoy. If I had access to a pool like i used to, I'd be swimming everyday and not feel like it's a workout, or that i have to because I enjoy.

GYM, not my ideal way of working out and getting in shape, but at least I don't have to be in the sun and the heat. I hate the sun and I try to stay out of the sun and heat as often as I can. I just can't do want weather.

I do enjoy working out in cold weather though because I don't feel the heat and the sun is not shinning. Plus, you work out harder to break a sweat. I sweat easily :)

Graduation(s)

2011-06-23T02:03:00.000-07:00

Since summer had just begun, I have been busy with graduations left and right. Starting with my little sister's high school graduation, followed by my little cousin's 8th grade promotion, then on Tuesdays, I was back in OC for two of my cousin's high school graduation...I was just in OC on Sunday for fathers day. Anyway, Summer is busy, filled with lots of family events that aunt has emailed us with already. I have cousins baby shower coming up soon. I have such an awesome family! I often get told by my friends how cool it is that my cousins and I all hang out and are so close. We do everything together, I have to say that we are our own cheer squad and friends :)

Anyway, Cousin's graduation was fun, very sunny and hot, I hid from the sun along with one of my cousin because well, lets face it, we hate the sun and didn't want to burn.High school graduation always makes me sad because it reminds me of the graduation I didn't have. By that, I mean that I did graduate from high school, but not with my friends because I moved to another city and school during the second semester of my junior year. I didn't know anyone, nor did I care too. I was still bitter and mad that I had to leave my life, and friends behind. So my senior year was not memorable or happy. I graduated with people I did not know. My high school graduation, I just wanted to leave. Having gone to my 3 little sister's high school graduation, and little cousins high school graduation, it makes me sad because I never had that. my high school graduation was also on the same same day that my cousin was graduation high school, so not many family were able to go to mine, then again, I lived like 45mins away from the rest of my family. Traffic on a weekday, yea, that made them want to come to mine.

Anyway, I wished my High school graduation could have been different. Makes me sad that I am getting older as well. I don't like the idea of myself aging and getting older.
These are only pictures of my cousins graduation from Tuesday,sister and little cousins 8th grade promotion will NOT be included in this post.

and....of course I was getting a little bored at the graduation, decided to randomly take a picture of something. Also, I had to change my camera setting so, had to do a test run.

which leads to....my abstract-ish photo :)

What a Hot Wednesday

2011-06-22T17:56:00.000-07:00

I assume today is the mark of summer and I am defiantly feeling the heat and I am not too fond of this weather. To be honest, I hate summer, I really hate the sun and the heat. I hate that I am so sensitive to the heat, first sign of heat and I am already sweating, it's embarrassing. I dont mind sweating when I am being active, but if I am just sitting around, or standing out in the sun, I break out in sweat and I drip. As I am typing this, sweat is dripping down my neck and forehead is moist from sweat. I do not like this weather, I do not like being hot. I want winter to come back already. Look at me summer has just begun and already I am sick of this scorching heat.

I still want to do more to this blog, so I guess slowly I will add more content and make it less boring looking.

DUI check point(s)

2011-06-18T23:42:00.000-07:00

So they have this awesome thing called a DUI checkpoint. I am not sure if any other state does this, but California has it and I think it is such a great idea to have it so that those driving under the influence can take responsibility for their actions. One thing that I have a problem is that people telling others about the check point and which street they should avoid.

This is not the first time I seen this posted, but I was on twitter and coming across a friends tweet about two DUI check points on certain streets, and alerting via tweet that people should be careful. It seems as though they make this announcement so that people who are partying or drinking, then decide to drive home will see this and avoid those areas. It really makes me mad that people would do this.

I have a strong hate with alcohol and people drinking and getting drunk, especially when I am around. I don't know what it is, but when I see people drinking and getting drunk, all I can think about is how ridicules they look and act when drunk, or why would they put their body through that. Do they not have self respect? I know I respect my body too much to put toxin in my body. Then again, who am I to say about their body, their body, so they should do what they want.

If it were me, and I knew about possible DUI check point, I would keep it to myself because I do not want anyone driving with alcohol in their system and putting innocent people in danger.

Nothing gets me more heated than the subject of alcohol and drunks. I have such strong opinions about it and I am not afraid to state how I feel about it. I have been pressured into drinking, or why I do not drink. I tell them that I have never gotten drunk, or taken a shot, yet they make such a big deal about it, like getting drunk is a mandatory. I will not give into peer pressure, nor will I allow myself to put toxin in my body. I choose not to drink because of personal reason, and I am so proud or that choice. Most people can't understand why, when I tell them I do not drink, it's always "why?" then tell people that it's fun. I don't see what is so fun or cool about it. only one person that I met recently when I told him I do not drink because of personal reason and that it was my choice for respecting my body, and because I want to follow the Catholic faith the best I could. He said that that I am smart for choosing this. I then thought, wow, here is someone who can respect mt decision, and not make such a big deal out of it.

Anyway, I apologize if I ever offend anyone about this topic. I am not judging those who do drink or look down on them, I am just stating my opinion on this whole matter because I am fed up with people getting away with driving under influence because of people alerting their friends and family about this DUI checkpoint.

Hello Bloggers.

2011-06-18T15:28:00.000-07:00

Today, as of June 18th, I have decided to use this blog as my everyday blogging that is the complete opposite of my wordpress blog. With this Blog, I will be blogging more about my somewhat person matter such as my passion and love for everyday life. things that inspire me or what I hope to gain or accomplish in a short amount of time.

Now as for my wordpress blog (http://www.paulinenguyen.wordpress.com)I will simply use that to write articles, or to practice my writing, and dedicate it to photography,reading/writing, and films. I will try to give both of my blogs that same attention as I would to my books.

XoXo
Pauline

i should be working on my film studies assignments...

2010-09-16T17:38:00.000-07:00

but i am not. i am just sitting here texting, facebooking, tumblr-ing haha and netflixing on movies to get haha. so bad i know.

i was telling cousin how i cant go with her tomorrow because i have so much to get done still. since i will not be home all day saturday so i need to get this done...discussion assignment is due sunday, then i have to work on my reading questions for monday and do some reading for my creative writing class. she relies "school is killer"
"heck yea. makes me not want to go anymore. find myself a sugar daddy haha then i am good"
"lol omg i never would think u would say that lol"
"haha yea i would never mean that but it was just a joke haha it's what i do haha i would never be with anyone just for the money"

anyway....i was told i joke too much :\ haha."you joke too much and i can never tell if you are serious or not"

mind you...i can be serious when i have to be haha. but why be serious all the time?

i was walking with a friend one time to the library...she's walking and fixing her hair then asked me "do i look ok?"
"who are you trying to impress? your books?"

"hahaha wow that's a good one"
"haha i try" haha

it's funny how people always tell me i am funny....but when i asked how am i funny? or how is that funny? they just go i dont know you are just silly. in badminton, i love that i can make my friends laugh "i loving coming to class cause i can always count on you to make me laugh and you always know what to do or say to make me laugh" "aww thanks...i just wish i knew what i say or do half of he time" "hahaha it's just how you are, how you react to things, the things you say"

playing badminton in the gym and another person starts laughing
"what is so funny haha"
"you are so cute"
"cute? im confuse as to what?"
"your personality is cute and you do the funniest thing and you never notice the things you do...thats why it's funny"
"haha stop laughing at me!"
"haha i cant help it....you are making me laugh"
"haha stop!"

::sigh:: good times. i really miss though laughs. miss having class with taran, we always make each other laugh and eventually make others laugh. its fun.

i really do love laughing haha.

i am working on cutting back on jokes haha

"oh you got jokes now huh?"
"you know it haha"

ok back to homework....i think i have said enough haha.

meeting new people is scary

2010-09-16T17:06:00.000-07:00

i dislike the idea of meeting new people because is awkward, scary and not fun haha. not to mention...i make really bad first impression esp. when its an unexpected meet. like yesterday; cousin and i went to the gym and asked if i would come with her to meet up this guy to talk about their plans for their gig. so i told her ill go with her just to make sure he is not a perverted crazy guy haha. she told me that spoke on he phone a few times to discuss their plans. so yesterday we went to meet him at starbucks. as we were sitting there wait and chatting, i started feeling nervous which i though was funny because it wasnt even my meet up--but she was nervous so i guess i was getting nervous for her? i think its the idea of sitting at a table with someone i dont know...and cousin doesnt really talk much--neither do i when i first meet people. i become distant and often quiet....or i can smile and laugh at everything haha....then there's the part where i talk in circles haha. so yesterday, as he walked into starbucks, introduced himself to us. after he shook my hand he said "you really familiar" i was confuse trying to think if i might have seen him somewhere but not likely. cousin asked if i knew and i said no haha. thought that was weird. so we made our way outside, told stuff about him and what he does i guess. told us stories that had really nothing to do with their gigs. it was awkward because he kept talking to me and facing me when he talk. in my mind i was like umm this isnt my meeting...shouldnt you be talking to her and looking at her? haha i hate having to look at people in the eye, it makes me so uncomfortable. i think he is very talkative, really outgoing...a little to much for our personality haha. it amazes me how people can talk about anything when first meeting people. he was telling us about his his family, this crazy client he had and how he was engaged once haha. i was being polite so i was nodding and smiling and laughing, nodding some more with a few reply here and there. i hated the cousin didnt say much so it was awkward and which it led him to talk to me more....i did not like it at all. again this was their meet up to discuss the gig they are doing and their portfolio haha.

after we left she told me that he kept looking at me and kept talking to me. i told her that the only reason he was talking to me was because you didnt talk much so or asked him anything about their plans haha. so, that was that.....i hope i dont have to go through this anytime soon haha.

i do however love meeting elderly people and talking with them hehe. they have the best stories and advice.

the joy of literature.

2010-09-12T00:21:00.000-07:00

it's silly. i have found a new love and i am obsessed. i was given an article....ok not an article, but a review by Stacy Davies. so, i was reading the reviews for my creative writing class. the instr. told us how much she loved her style of writing, of course i did not think much of it. i sat down in my room (where i am at at the moment)instead of finishing lord of the rings. i started reading it and it felt like love at first sing--not that i know what that is like haha. anyway, i could not put it down. it was funny and charming. it felt more like a story rather than a review. so after i got done reading the two reviews...i googled her. yes, i googled her. i wanted to find more of her work. so i did and now, i can not wait to start reading it all.

so how come i do not feel this way about films? i wish that i did because i love films. but i think that maybe, film is suppose to be my hobby and nothing more. i feel that books, and writing gives me this sense happiness and excitement that i can not get from films. sure, i feel like i am in my own world when i watch movies....but, i seem to have a deeper connection with writing and reading. sitting in film studies class and the instr. is saying negative stuff about how reading is not the same as watching a movie because movies are better, and how we do not feel the same when reading; or the fact that it's not really enjoyable because one can not see the actual action in their head. i was offended when she said that, and all i wanted to do, was defend reading and books. i guess this is wear my heart is. sure, i still love movies but...not enough to pursue it i guess. i am actually thinking of going into literature and film on the side...who knows. but we shall see what happens.

my instr. from last semester whom i still keep in touch with. she recommend that i apply and submit some of my writing to some writing contest. try to get a writing job as free lancer...just to get some exposure. i am thinking about the writing contest though. it all seems exciting and fun. i know i may not be the best writer...but there is always room for improvement and the more i write, i know i will continue to improve. i mean, isnt that what writing is all about? write, make mistakes, learn and faith.

“Writing is really just a matter of writing a lot, writing consistently and having faith that you’ll continue to get better and better. Sometimes, people think that if they don’t display great talent and have some success right away, they won’t succeed. But writing is about struggling through and learning and finding out what it is about writing itself that you really love.” — Laura Kasischke

i agree, when i first started out writing in journalism freshman year, i did not display much talent with my writing, i did not believe that i could succeed or that fact that i would end up loving it so much. i admit that i struggled with writing whether its the content of my writing or the grammar itself. even then i often stumble and struggle to find the words to write what i mean and what i know. writing “is” about struggling and finding yourself in knowing what you are capable of and finding out what it is that you love. writing for me is a way of self expression, a creative process that helps one shape their way of thinking, their way of communicating to what they feel. i have faith in myself that i will continue to make progress and to continue of being a better writer, i just have to keep going and just write.

i seriously become a nerd when i start talking about literature haha.

2010-09-09T22:36:00.001-07:00

i am so glad that tomorrow is friday. the weekend to relax a little….but i still have a lot of homework :( ::sigh::

so today was insightful. i was sitting outside of lab waiting for it to start. i got to talking with this guy who i think said was 58 years old and a woman who looks like she was in her late 40’s. anyway, i have to say it was inspiring and insightful. he told me that he used to work in construction, and was laid off for the past three years. he said that ever since he was in high school, he wanted to become a respiratory therapist for the reason that he spent a lot of his times in the hospital. the fact that at 58 years old, going back to school to do what he has always wanted….it was inspiring and it is never too late. never too late to do and act on your dream. it gives me hope. he said to do what your heart tells you, and dont listen and give a crap about what others tell you, and as long as i know where my heart is…then that is all that matters. learn as much as you can, take as many classes as you can, it is then that you will know what works for you and what doesnt. when he said that, i was like thank you! i have taken so many classes…classes that i dont even really need, but i take those classes because they interest me and i wanted to learn. when he said that…suddenly i felt like i did something right…even if not many people agree with why i did that. he said that college is a time to learn as much as you can, take as many classes as you can because you can benefit from every classes you take. talking to him was great. the woman i was talking too. she said i seem like the type of person who cant say no…and that i need to learn how to say no. i told her that i am working on it haha. she said that it seems like i do so much for everyone but myself and that it gets exhausting and stressful…that is so true because i am always stressed and exhausted. she understood where i was coming from and how someone can do so much for others…yet they do not appreciate it. she told me that she understood because she has kids of her own one is my age. we just talked about life, careers. it’s refreshing to talk to another adult about things like this that differ from your parents view. she told me that you do not always have to go to a university to get a high paying job. she told me that she is making as much money as her friends that went to a university and she didnt. she said that the school doesnt matter. it’s how badly you want something to chase it.

this reminds me during summer semester when i met bobby. he was…i think he was in his early 50’s i had a great time talking to him. he told me things that i had not really ever thought about. he talked to me about relationships and how important it is to not be blinded by love, to listen to what others tell you because half of the time…they are right, but people tend to be so wrapped up in their new relationship that they ignore the facts. how people think they are in love when its really just infatuation. it was very insightful. i love talking to elders about life, relationship. i recommend that if you ever get the chance or come across an opportunity where you can chat with and elder adult. do so because you never know what you may learn. dont think that just because they are old does not mean they do not understand because believe me, they do, they have lived it, been through it, or have experienced it.

it beats gossiping about useless facts. great minds share ideas. i hope that i can continue to come across many more elderly adults and to continue having many more conversation that i will always remember and that hopefully pass on to my kids one day. learn every chance you get. be inspired, find hope, learn something about others, and yourself. appreciate life and the knowledge of others who wish to share it with you. listen to other people’s story about life, love anything. it is truly worth it.

perfect weather

2010-09-08T17:36:00.000-07:00

today's weather is absolutely perfect. i love the gloom and the cold. i missed this kind of weather so much. eating cold stuff on days like this is the icing on the cake. i am so happy and so excited that i got my weather. cant wait for winter. i hate summer and i hate the heat. bring on the gloom and the rain. ill take that any day.

2010-09-07T23:18:00.000-07:00

after about 9 hrs.....i am finally done with my film studies homework. now i need to read some articles and the intro from the book for creative writing class. then tomorrow i need to read chapter 3 of my intro to film studies class, view up in the air and answer questions for monday, work on my intro to international cinema discussion :( i am so overwhelmed with all of the stuff i have to do. ::sigh:: i knew i shouldnt have taken two film studies class and a creative writing class together. i have not had time to take a breather. too much for me to handle and its only the send week of school. i miss not having hw. i look forward to days i dont have class. what is the next holiday?? thanksgiving...boo too long

labor day was fun

2010-09-07T21:37:00.001-07:00

i did not get much homework done.. i dont even know why i try to convince myself that i will not be distracted. complete fail i tell you haha. i have accepted the fact that it is impossible for me to do any kind of academic work when family is around haha.

i have the most adorable niece and little cousin ever. they are so cute and so adorable. i first arrived at the park and little cousin samantha was so excited that she literally stood there waiting and slightly running towards me to give me a hug haha so cute. then p5 and i walked her to the bridge to look at duckies and turtles. had her sit on giant rocks to take pictures hahaha. told her to skip, it was the funniest yet cutest thing… she has not really gotten the concept of skipping yet. she will get there. by the end or almost the end of the day the little kids got ice cream, she was eating her care bare ice cream and her ice cream was melting. mind you that it was windy and cold where were sitting. so i was at the picnic tables…doing something i forgot. she runs over and goes “chi tram chi tram. my ice cream! its dripping” haha it was so cute she was freaking out over the ice cream (she’s really neat and clan) so i run over to giver her a paper towl and to wipe her hands. then i wrap the stick around the paper towel and hand it back to her haha. you just had to be there to see how funny and cute it was. she looked terrified at the same time haha.

my niece mikayla. so funny and cute. she is so tiny and so entertaining. i love listening to her talk because half of the time you dont know what she is saying but you will catch every other words here and there haha. she is independent, we told her to hold hands with samantha, but she wont let anyone hold her hand. watching her eat ice cream is funny. she is so into it, ice cream all over her face. instead of throwing breads into the water for the ducks, she throws leaves in haha. watching her try to roll down the hill was even more fun. kids, they are so adorable and so funny haha.

2010-09-04T21:45:00.000-07:00

so…..i get the weekend to sleep in..i hope. but i still have homework :(

two days of intro to film studies—cant say i love it yet as much as i would hope, but i cant really say i hate it either. i need to give it a few more days or weeks to see how i really feel about it. however, my intro to international cinema only meets tuesdays and all of our works are all online. i am enjoying it so far. i saw the 400 blows that i have to watch for tuesday, it’s a french film in black and white. i did not think i was going to like it or enjoy it but i actually like it..a lot haha.

i am too tired to write about anything else so i am just going to end it now……by the way, i have been listening to bruno mars and i love his songs and lyrics.

one of few people i trusted....

2010-08-22T21:13:00.000-07:00

walked out of my life—without giving much consideration how much i have been there for him through so much. i messaged him “joey” “hey pauline, i got back with my ex, and i dont want to create drama so i think its best if we didnt talk sorry i hope you understand” my heart just sunk after that, was this really happening, i was so mad that he was so willing to throw our friendship away for a girl. so i relied “yea got it. hope everything work out” and that was the end of what i had to say. he continued to say “well i hope everything is going good for you everything is working out good for me bye take care” after that i just sat there rereading everything.

it makes me so mad and hurt that after all we have been through, so many laughs and jokes and phone calls and he is so willing to walk away like that. i thought he meant it when he said he was not going to let a girl come between our friendship again because he missed me. o be honest, i really hope their relationship does not work out, i hate myself for saying this. of course i want him to be happy, but with someone who doesnt care who he is friends with and who he talks to. there are so much i want to say to him. but i dont know if i will have the heart to tell him about how i feel about this whole thing, and how i am done sticking around and waiting for him to come back and be friends again. this is it, and i am done. he is making it even harder to trust people. i let him in my life only to be walked out on. the next time he comes back to me….like he usually does. i am simply not even going to try anymore. if he wants this friendship back, he is going to have tp prove to me that he really cares and really wants to be friends again. i am going to make him work for it. there is no reason of keeping someone in my life if they are not willing to keep me in theirs. simple.

as much as i am hurt over this and bummed out over this. i think losing a best friend is hard. i felt like a piece of my heart went missing. but i will be ok, because i am pretty used to people walking out and being disappointed. words has never really meant anything to me and yesterday just proves why i dont believe anything people say. ill believe it when it see it happens. actions speaks louder than words. words mean nothing to me anymore.

2010-02-07T13:02:00.001-08:00

i find it annoying when people compare movies with books. it is “based” on the book geez it cant be the book otherwise it would be long and slow. people need to appreciate the fact that they even made a movie. books of course are always going to be better. have an open mind and stop comparing the two. i love both reading and movie, i feel that they both tell a story in different forms. reading, you get to visualize the story in your head and it is more descriptive…but it is hard to decided which i enjoy more because they both gives me happiness. they both have the power to allow me to escape reality for however long it takes to get to the end.

so...seriously? people are starting to compare other movies based on his books with this? i have people saying this movie does no justice to his other movies. seriously? those other movies are completely different movies. you can not judge a movie based on other movies. maybe they do no understand the movie..yea its about love, but its not all happy love like all love stories should be. movies that stay with the storyline of the book is what it is suppose to be. people do not understand that it is a movie based on a book, it is not a movie about that book or a documentary for that matter. it is like movies based on a true story...it may be off on some scenes and they may not be the same as to how it happen, but it is the storyline that what makes it what it is.

Haiti

2010-01-17T15:05:00.000-08:00

written in my other blog.

such a tragic. it breaks my heart to hear the estimated death in Haiti. i just made two donations. it is a warm feeling and i feel so proud of everyone who is willing to help in anyway possible..even if its just a $1.00 donation every little bit helps. what touches my heart is the world coming together to help and support. it’s people that care enough to want to do something despite of their lack of financial security or not knowing anyone in a country that is far from us. they give me hope that there are caring, good people out there. in the end, we are all not much different from one another, we have only one home mother earth, and we must do what we can to help our neighbors. i am all for doing good cause. ever since joining the red cross club in high school. i fell in love with volunteering, donating my time for the common good. i hope that one day i can travel the world and help in any possible way. mother Teresa is my hero. i hope that one day i will be as successful and to use that success to help others. that is my goal and my dream to leave this world knowing that i have made a difference.

“To the people of Haiti, we say clearly and with conviction: You will not be forsaken. You will not be forgotten. In this, your hour of greatest need, America stands with you. The world stands with you.”

— President O’Bama

for the past few days. following up on the news about Haiti, talking about the earthquake in Haiti in geography class. my heart is breaking for you Haiti. you are in my prayers.

i can not express how much respect i have for this world. my utmost respect goes out to those who serve our country, for those who risk their lives everyday to save others, for those who will go out of their way to help those in need. The world coming together to help support and aid a country in need of times like this? my utmost respect goes to you.

HOPE

“Of all the forces that make for a better world, none is so powerful as hope. with hope, one can think, one can work, one can dream. if you have hope, you have everything.”

i made the 3rd donation. 2 via text (yele & redcross) and one online.

who am i ment to be?

2010-01-06T16:54:00.001-08:00

i took the quiz and this is my result haha.

YOU ARE STRIVING TO BE SECURE
You are a stabilizer: You are the rock in a storm, the one others lean on. Loyal and com-mitted in your relationships, you maintain a support system of like-minded people whom you look out for. (So what if you do it behind the scenes and don’t get credit?) You’re careful with money, cherish the familiar, and defend the traditions you care about.

What to watch out for: Rapidly changing environments (like a shaky economy) are very hard for you. As a result of such instability, you can spiral into a state where everything seems catastrophic and you’re sure life will only get worse. You can also become overcontrolling, rejecting any suggestion that doesn’t conform to your idea of the way things should be. To avoid being too rigid, each month try changing one habit. Exper-iment with clothes, drive a different way to work, initiate conversations about subjects you wouldn’t normally discuss. And when the opportunity arises to do something new, avoid the impulse to immediately say no—this may be nerve-racking, but the more you practice, the less anxious you’ll feel.

Looking ahead: You find meaning in pursuing safety and certainty. Focusing on family can give you great satisfaction. Also consider planting a vegetable garden, hosting class reunions, volunteering as a lifeguard, teaching at your church or temple. In the work arena, look for positions where you’re responsible for others, and for making sure everyone is following the rules. You work well in any environment that is stable and consistent. Careers in government, finance, the military, law enforcement, and product manufacturing are strong options for you.

Find careers that match your striving style.

YOUR SCORES
Many people have two or three strong striving styles, and they can all be important in leading you to the person you are meant to be. If you have a few “highest” scores, read each matching description, and see what rings most true.

Striving to help: 16
Striving to be recognized: 12
Striving to be creative: 17
Striving to be spontaneous: 13
Striving to be knowledgeable: 14
Striving to be secure: 17
Striving to be in control: 11

STRIVING TO HELP
You scored: 16
You are a nurturer: You are caring and supportive in your personal relationships as well as in your job. Unselfish and altruistic by nature, you often anticipate the needs of those around you before they are aware of them. If there is one thing that brings you satisfaction, it’s tending to others.

What to watch out for: When you’re doing things for people only to feel valued, you can become resentful. And if you sense that your help is not appreciated, you may end up playing the martyr. So before giving your time to everyone else, make sure to take care of yourself (physically, emotionally, and spiritually). And practice waiting until someone asks for help: While you may be able to perceive what a person needs, that doesn’t mean she wants you to attend to it.

Looking ahead: It’s important for you to be genuinely of service in acknowledged ways. Whether you foster a child, care for an elderly aunt, rescue animals, or support a rock star’s career as her personal assistant, look for opportunities where you can help other people or bigger causes. Volunteer work has your name written on it, as do many careers: nursing, teaching, customer service, healing, social work. Don’t feel pressured to run the company or lead the project; you may be even more effective as someone’s right hand. And you’ll likely find working with other people more meaningful than flying solo.

Find careers that match your striving style.
Back to Top

STRIVING TO BE RECOGNIZED
You scored: 12
You are an achiever: Ambitious, competitive, and hardworking: That’s you. With a clear image of who you are, you work tirelessly to make sure your accomplishments are recognized. Your drive for success extends to your family, and you invest a lot of energy in helping them live up to your expectations. Thanks to your knack for diplomacy and abundant charisma, you often inspire others.

What to watch out for: You are prone to becoming a workaholic, slaving away toward success while neglecting your personal life. Because you’re driven to gain approval, you can find yourself performing for others like an actor; if you become overly concerned with your image, you end up feeling superficial. To keep your ambition under control, get involved in group activities that require cooperation. Also practice listening to those around you and think about sharing the spotlight from time to time.

Looking ahead: Any career that allows you to scale the ranks and gain recognition, status, even material rewards, lights you up. Actress, entrepreneur, salesperson, politician—you get the picture. And consider balancing your professional challenges with personal ones: Run a 10K, train for a triathlon, compete in a tennis tournament, bike from one end of your state to the other; or join a debate team, play in a poker circle, enter your purebred spaniel in a dog show. Whenever you can win at something, you’re happy.

Find careers that match your striving style.
Back to Top

STRIVING TO BE CREATIVE
You scored: 17
You are an artist: You came out of the womb with a paintbrush in your hand. Or maybe it was a flute or a castanet or a fountain pen to go with your poet’s imagination. The point is, you’re an original, and you know it. Even if you don’t have a singular gift, you’re drawn to the arts—anything creative, for that matter—and you have a unique way of looking at the world. Your need for depth and authenticity in relationships can lead to both great joy and profound sorrow, depending on whether others reciprocate. You don’t care so much about adapting to group or societal expectations; your independence and sharp intuition propel you on your own path.

What to watch out for: When fear of conformity overrides your creativity, you can assume the role of “outsider” or “orphan” and end up feeling alienated. You may even go so far as refusing to vote or pay taxes. This lone-wolf stance might be a defense against feeling vulnerable. Try to be aware that blaming others for your banishment, or pushing away those who want to get close, only makes things worse. Also, dramatizing your emotions can interfere with your creativity.

Looking ahead: As long as you genuinely express yourself, you feel like the person you were meant to be. How you do it is irrelevant. A chef or architect can be as much of an artist as a painter or sculptor. Many advertising and public relations executives are also highly imaginative. Beyond work, there are opportunities everywhere you look to coax out your inner artist: Design your own jewelry line, create an innovative blog, dream up a comic strip. Relationships are another avenue for self-expression.

Find careers that match your striving style.
Back to Top

STRIVING TO BE SPONTANEOUS
You scored: 13
You are an adventurer: Action-oriented, curious, outgoing, and often technically gifted, you live for new experiences. You are drawn to risk-taking and aren’t afraid to fail. Generally restless, you tend to job-hop or choose a field that offers constant novelty. If you had to name your favorite place, it might be the center of attention—you’re a born entertainer, and can easily adapt to any audience. While you collect many acquaintances, you’re less likely to develop deep, committed relationships.

What to watch out for: When you can’t satisfy your thirst for variety and excitement, you may see yourself as trapped, which can lead to impulsive and self-destructive behavior—drinking, drugs, breaking off relationships, ditching financial responsibilities. Try to find value in some traditions; if you learn to appreciate repetitive experiences, you won’t always feel the urge to bust free. And when a new opportunity thrills you, keep in mind that just because it sounds exciting, that doesn’t mean it’s good for you.

Looking ahead: Life will have meaning for you as long as you feel stimulated. That might mean chasing twisters, exploring the polar ice caps, getting a degree in dance therapy, or becoming an astronaut. It might also mean reading new books, attending workshops, or letting yourself get swept up in an intoxicating romance. As a risk-lover with a lot of energy, you’re a natural entrepreneur. You’ll be happiest if you change jobs every so often and travel extensively. Movement is what keeps you going.

Find careers that match your striving style.
Back to Top

STRIVING TO BE KNOWLEDGEABLE
You scored: 14
You are an intellectual: As a leader, you’re often ahead of your time. As an employee, you try to surpass the competence level of peers, even managers. Incisive and curious, you’re driven to deeply understand how things work. But that’s things, not people. Oh, your family and friends are important; it’s just that you don’t need to spend hours engaging with them. Social validation isn’t your goal—you’re secure enough in your cerebral pursuits.

What to watch out for: When you can’t find a way to be the expert, you may withdraw or simply withhold information, which can make you seem smug or arrogant. If you feel yourself retreating into your own world, seek a friend’s help to pull you back. Also balance your cerebral tendencies through physical activities like jogging, hiking, or dance.

Looking ahead: You discover who you are meant to be through accumulating insight and knowledge. So follow your curiosity. Are you drawn to learning Mandarin? Join-ing a philosophy society? Studying and practicing Buddhist meditation? Delving into the complexities of computer programming? Writing a historical book? Pursuits that place you near the leading edge of technology, science, psychology, academia, or business are good bets. But any situation that allows you to work independently with freedom to investigate and innovate will fuel your drive.

Find careers that match your striving style.
Back to Top

STRIVING TO BE SECURE
You scored: 17
You are a stabilizer: You are the rock in a storm, the one others lean on. Loyal and com-mitted in your relationships, you maintain a support system of like-minded people whom you look out for. (So what if you do it behind the scenes and don’t get credit?) You’re careful with money, cherish the familiar, and defend the traditions you care about.

What to watch out for: Rapidly changing environments (like a shaky economy) are very hard for you. As a result of such instability, you can spiral into a state where everything seems catastrophic and you’re sure life will only get worse. You can also become overcontrolling, rejecting any suggestion that doesn’t conform to your idea of the way things should be. To avoid being too rigid, each month try changing one habit. Exper-iment with clothes, drive a different way to work, initiate conversations about subjects you wouldn’t normally discuss. And when the opportunity arises to do something new, avoid the impulse to immediately say no—this may be nerve-racking, but the more you practice, the less anxious you’ll feel.

Looking ahead: You find meaning in pursuing safety and certainty. Focusing on family can give you great satisfaction. Also consider planting a vegetable garden, hosting class reunions, volunteering as a lifeguard, teaching at your church or temple. In the work arena, look for positions where you’re responsible for others, and for making sure everyone is following the rules. You work well in any environment that is stable and consistent. Careers in government, finance, the military, law enforcement, and product manufacturing are strong options for you.

Find careers that match your striving style.
Back to Top

STRIVING TO BE IN CONTROL
You scored: 11
You are a leader: You approach everything as though you were born to be in charge. Confident, assertive, and decisive, you know what you want and you go after it. You also look out for family, friends, and community—you feel you know what’s best for them—and have no fear of confronting anyone who challenges your ideas. Taking the driver’s seat, you also generously donate time and energy to people and neighborhood projects.

What to watch out for: When you feel threatened, or others refuse to go along with your agenda, you can become confrontational and domineering, sometimes to the point of being dictatorial. Practice letting someone else take charge on occasion. Also try meditation; it can help you be-come more aware of your controlling impulses and ease the anxiety that may be provoking them.

Looking ahead: You discover your purpose when you take control of your environment. For you, finding a decision-making role is key. That could mean anything from producing a play to spearheading a global campaign for something you care about. In work, you’re suited for leadership positions in education, government, industry, finance, religious institutions, or politics. But you can find satisfaction anytime you’re given the autonomy to do things your own way.

2009-12-19T00:01:00.000-08:00

i told him that his hair looks fluffy. his new nickname id fluffy haha. sounds like something you would name a dog or animal haha. he said if he wins another sheep at vegas, he is going to let me have it haha. so he also asked if i wanted to go to vegas this sunday with him but i told him i dont have money to go to vegas and i have church and confession on sunday haha. he better win me that sheep haha.

been awhile

2009-12-15T20:15:00.000-08:00

since i have blogged here haha. so hmm what has been going on. well my friend came back haha. i will call him bob haha i miss talking to him. he has this thing where he disappears for awhile then comes back. around jr year after i left bolsa i would come back to visit during school hour and i would of course see him in earth science..the class we had together. one day i came back to visit and he was gone. did not know where he was. then about 3 years later, he IMs me out of the blue with an sn i do not recognize. we spent the hour catching up and filling me in with his life. so after that, we continued to talk and what not. he is such a good friend, always there to make me laugh i love it. what i love most is that i can pick on him and make fun of him all i want and not get mad haha. we are such jerks to each other it's funny haha. well it was around this time of year when he went mia again. i got a random text from him using his friends phone telling me to delete his number but did not tell me why, i did not reply because he was using his friends phone. then i remembered our talk a few days ago, where he was trying get a nice body so that he can impress this girl. he told me was flying over to see her blah blah. i stopped seeing his sn on aim and i started to think, what if he got locked up again, maybe that is why i have not heard from him. eventually i stopped caring. but sometime last week, he came back and the first thing i said to him was "where the heck have you been?" haha he told me he ran away, of course i didnt believe him. but i guess he did, he told me he almost got engaged, and the girl he was with was a gold digger. she would not let him have any girl friends...i guess that explains why stopped hearinf from him. but we started talking about and he tells me that never again will he let a girl tell him who he can be friends with and that he missed me..awww haha. but yea, i missed talking to him haha.

so lately this guy has been bugging the crap out of me haha ill call him crab ahhaha. but yea he makes it seem like we are going to end up together. always telling me how much he likes me and how happy he will make me when we are together...insane because it is never going to happen. i told my friend bob and he told me that his guy sounds like a stalker haha. then he ask if that crab flirts like him and i told him i do not know because i have not you him flirt with girls haha, then bob tells me that he flirts with me all the time i just dont realize it hahaha. so i told him that that just proves that i really am oblivious hahaha.

dissapointed

2009-11-15T12:28:00.000-08:00

seems like nothing ever turns out the way i hoped. every time i have plans...nothing turns out right. this is why i never make plans and i try to not to get too excited cause then i would get my hopes up for nothing. i had planned on going to Ontario mills with a friend to see jason castro.. but at the last minute she got a call that her aunt had gotten into an accident and is now in the hospital so she cant go anymore. i hope she is ok though. i was really looking forward to this event too. i guess ever turns our right when i make plans.

school is annoying. so much homework and such i am so stress and overwhelmed and everything. ugh i need a fun day.

Jason Castro

2009-10-15T16:57:00.000-07:00

cant wait to see him at Ontario Mills.

his newest single. i love this song.

bad day.

2009-10-08T18:12:00.000-07:00

my day started off badly haha, my alarm never went off, therefore i ended up over sleeping. had to rush around the house, brushing my teeth, washing my face, and getting dressed. then as i was getting in the car, i ended up hitting my head killing some brain cells haha. also had to rush and eat in the car; not a great way to enjoy breakfast. by the time i got to school i had to literally had to power walk to class and up the stairs, luckily by the time i got to class, instructor wasnt in yet. but still i hate feeling rushed. then to top it off, i got a freaken 1 out 3 on my reading quiz. then again it was my fault, i forgot to do the reading haha. anyway whatever. im over it. tomorrow is friday, just have lab tomorrow from 2-3 then i get to start my weekend yey.