Amazing Fact

noreply@blogger.com (Sandeep chaurasia) — Mon, 28 Jan 2013 04:18:00 -0800

http://computermall.in/ pakistan hacker hacked indian site on 26 Jan 2013

Meanings of Rose Colors

noreply@blogger.com (Sandeep chaurasia) — Fri, 16 Nov 2012 04:42:00 -0800

Flowers are among one of nature beautiful things, with diverse variety and colors. We send and receive flowers on different occasions e.g: Wedding, funeral, birthdays and the list go on. Roses are among such species with alot of colors and each has its meanings as well. Have you ever thought on the meanings of each color of roses and when should they be send.
Each color of rose not only differentiate itself from its same species but has its own meaning, so let’s have a look at each rose color and its meaning.

Red Roses Meaning:
Red Rose is a symbol of Love. Presenting a Red Rose to someone means to say “I Love You”.
Black Roses Meaning:
Symbol of sorrow, losing something, farewell, death and break ups.
Lavender Roses Meaning:
Used to show “Love at first sight”.
Blue Roses Meaning:
One of the most fabulous rose colors, they are used to praise someone.
White Roses Meaning:
Symbol of innocence, peace, purity and loyality.
Pink Roses Meaning:
Symbol of appreciation, admiration and elegance.
Yellow Roses Meaning:
In old times the yellow roses were the symbols of jealousy but now it is symbol of friendship and welcome.
Orange Roses Meaning:
Orange roses are used to show your passion and excitement towards someone.
Peach Roses Meaning:
Peach Roses are sent as a message of appreciation, sincerity and thankfulness.
Dark Red Roses Meaning:
Used to praise your loved ones’ unconscious beauty.

Shortest War of the World, ended in 38 minutes

noreply@blogger.com (Sandeep chaurasia) — Fri, 16 Nov 2012 04:29:00 -0800

When we look into history and talk about conflicts or wars, we cannot fully access it’s length but we can imagine that it should have at least carry for a few years if not decades. Even conflicts between rival gangs last for years if not months.
Imagine yourself in any conflict or fight, Have you ever had any fight with your pal, peer, boss, management etc ?. How long did it last? A month, week, day or an hour?. But here we are talking about fight and conflict among peers and not countries.
But there was a war, yes, I mean a real war between two countries and not a conflict or fight between two friends. Let me give you some insights about the war and then will share with you it’s insights.
The conflict started on the death of the pro-British Sultan Hamad bin Thuwaini on 25th August 1896. After his death, Khalid bin Barghash succeeded to become Sultan but British authorities were in favor of another pro-British person Hamud bin Muhammad. British troops bombarded on Sultan’s palace, approximately 500 casualties/deaths occurred in Sultan’s forces and the war ended.
Countries included in War:
United Kingdom and Zanzibar
War Date:
27th August 1896
Shortest War Time:
38 minutes. Yes, it lasts only 38 minutes. The war started at 09:02, the flag on palace was shot down and ceased fire at 09:40.

This war is also known as Anglo-Zanzibar war.
The post is about shortest war of the world in history but you must be thinking where is Zanzibar and also some insights and facts about it.
Facts about Zanzibar:

Zanzibar was an East-African country on Indian ocean, now its been a part of Tanzania.
It was in control of Sultans of Oman since 1698 but declared as independent in 1858.
Bait al-Ajaib (The house of Wonders) in Zanzibar town, was the first building in East Africa to be provided with electricity.

Do you know the difference between England, GB and UK

noreply@blogger.com (Sandeep chaurasia) — Fri, 16 Nov 2012 04:26:00 -0800

You must have seen people use these words England, United kingdom and Great Britain. But are all these words referring to one country or they are separate countries. I think there could be no better explanation then the video below.

How to Download Torrent Files with IDM

noreply@blogger.com (Sandeep chaurasia) — Fri, 16 Nov 2012 04:04:00 -0800

In this trick you can download any torrent file with the help of idm. For perform this trick, idm software must be installed in your computer.
Now perform this trick.
First of all, idm software install in your computer.
Now copy any torrent file link address and go to this link www.zbigz.com.
Now paste that torrent file link address in the upload torrent file box.
After it, click on Go button.
Now your work has been done.

Recover Deleted Files

noreply@blogger.com (Sandeep chaurasia) — Fri, 16 Nov 2012 03:24:00 -0800

Sometimes we delete the files permanently, and realize that deleting them is like a Blunder...

For all those folks,

Here is the solution

Software called "Kissass Undelete" , can bring those files from the hard disk or your flash drive.

Conditions : Only if the data on that drive is not re-occupied(or written). that means the space which was available after the deletion is not been occupied after the deletion.

Click Here to download the .

To start searching for the files,

Select the drive from the Left panel of the Windows and Click the scan button.

the Scan might take upto 10 secs.

When the files search has been completed, it will show you the results with the name, typ, size and the last modified date of the searched file.

3) Now you can select the file to be recover. This is an Open source application and available for All Windows OS(Windows XP/Vista/ 7).

Add Watermark to a Word Document

noreply@blogger.com (Sandeep chaurasia) — Sun, 14 Oct 2012 23:44:00 -0700

Step-by-step to add a watermark to Word document (applied for Microsoft Word 97-2010):
Microsoft Word 97/2000/XP (2002)/2003:

Open the Word document that you want to add watermark to.
Select "Format" from the top menu, then select "Background", then "Printed Watermark".
In the "Printed Watermark" dialog:

A. To insert a text watermark:
- Select the "Text watermark".
- Then, either select a pre-defined text from the drop-down, or type in your desire text on the "Text" field.
- Customize your watermark with other options in this dialog such as text size, text color, etc, then click "OK".
- Watermark is now inserted into your document.
B. To insert an image watermark:
- Select the "Picture watermark".
- Then click on the button "Select Picture...".
- Navigate to the directory where your watermark picture is located. Select it and click "Insert".
- Select a customized scale if desired, then click "OK".
- The image is now inserted into your document as watermark.

Microsoft Word 2007/2010:

Open the Word document that you want to add watermark to.
Select the "Page Layout" Tab from the top menu
In the "Page Background" group, select "Watermark".
You can now select one of the pre-defined watermarks, or if you wish to use your own text/image, select "Custom Watermark" at the bottom.
At the "Printed Watermark" dialog:

A. To insert a text watermark:
- Select the "Text watermark".
- Then, either select a pre-defined text from the drop-down, or type in your desire text on the "Text" field.
- Customize your watermark with other options in this dialog such as text size, text color, etc, then click "OK".
- Watermark is now inserted into your document.
B. To insert an image watermark:
- Select the "Picture watermark".
- Then click on the button "Select Picture...".
- Navigate to the directory where your watermark picture is located. Select it and click "Insert".
- Select a customized scale if desired, then click "OK".
- The image is now inserted into your document as watermark.

Send your files to anyone instantly for free

noreply@blogger.com (Sandeep chaurasia) — Tue, 24 Jul 2012 00:18:00 -0700

If you have a file which you want to sent to someone and you dont want to mail him or the file is of a bigger size than that is allowed by your email provider, you are really stuck. But yes, you can do it.

PipeBytes is a free service which does exactly that. It allows you to send your files whether its movies, documents or presentations to anyone with out any limit to its size. The speed limitation is 5 Mbps unless you have purchased a Speedpass, which can get you upto 30Mbps. But for an ordinary user 5 Mbps is just too good.

All major browsers and operating systems are supported by the website. The website does not retain any personal information. If you are too worried about that, you can encrypt your files and then send it.

To send your file, just browse the file which you want to sent and type in if you want to send any message along with it.

You can either choose to have a URL or a code to retrieve the document.

Now send the URL or the code to the person whom you want to transfer the file.

The person on the other side can either browse the URL or go to PipeBytes and enter the Code and download the file.

Click here to go to PipeBytes

11 ways of Dismissal – Getting out in Cricket

noreply@blogger.com (Sandeep chaurasia) — Fri, 8 Jun 2012 03:48:00 -0700

Cricket is one of the most popular sports in the world. Cricket is in existence from the 16th Century and according to some evidences cricket was being played in Surrey, England in 1550. First Official International Test Match was played on 15th March 1877 between England and Australia at Melbourne Cricket Ground, Australia, where Australia beat England by 45 runs.
Cricket matches are played between two teams having 11 players each. There are several modes of cricket matches but Tests, One Days and Twenty-Twenty are played officially. Several mega events like World Cup and Champions Trophy occurs after a specific time period.
In cricket, dismissal is a term used for the batsman getting out. Normally there are 3 or 4 ways of getting dismissed which are most popular but in fact there are 11 methods of getting dismissed. Yes, you won’t believe this but there are 11 ways in which the batsman can get dismissed.
Let us a have a look on all 11 ways of getting out in Cricket.
1: Bowled:
When a bowler’s delivery hits the stumps directly or indirectly ( first touched bat or body of the batsman) and one or both bails removes completely from the stumps, the batsman is called Bowled here. It is one of the most common ways of being dismissed.
2: Stumped:
A batsman is stumped out when he tries to play the ball while he or his bat is not in crease, and the wicket-keeper removes the bails from the stumps with the ball.
3: Run Out:
If anyone of the batsmen on the pitch are away from the crease while taking a run and the fielder remove the bails with the help of ball, the batsman will be Run out.
4: LBW:
One of the interesting ways of getting out where some rules are also in favor of batsman. LBW stands for Leg Before Wicket, as the name indicates, if the ball strike any port of the batsman’s body, other than hand and arm, and in umpire’s judgment the ball would have struck the stumps, in this case, the Umpire can declare batsman as out.
5: Hit Wicket:
If the batsman knocks the stumps either with the bat or his body accidentally while trying to drive the ball or a very beginning of his first run, then he is declared out and the wickets awarded to the bowler.
6: Timed Out:
A very interesting way of a dismissal, if a new batsman fails to take his position in the field to replace a dismissed batsman with in three minutes then he is out. This happens several times in county and first class cricket matches. In 1997-98, in a cricket match between Tripura and Orissa in India, H. Yadav was given timed out because he was in conversation with his team manager and did not reach the crease on time.
7: Retired:
If the batsman leaves the ground without informing umpire while he is not injured. The batsman may continue his innings after the permission of opposing captain. Only two batsman have been given out in this way in the history of cricket, Mahela Jayawardene and Marvan Atapattu of Srilanka against Bangladesh in September 2001.

Snail Can Sleep for 3 yr

noreply@blogger.com (Sandeep chaurasia) — Fri, 8 Jun 2012 03:42:00 -0700

Snail is a very small animal mostly found in garden and fresh water. The Size of the snail is only few inches. Snail evolved almost 600 years ago. Snails have four tentacles, two are large and the other two are small, eyes are on the large tentacles and can smell from the small tentacles.

They doesn’t require large amount of food and have redula in its mouth which look like tongues. There normal foods includes mainly Plants and Fruits. The average life of snail is 15 years but in rare cases they can live up to 25 years.

The information provided above may look normal to you but the most shocking and interesting thing about this tiny creature is that snail can sleep for three years and you must be astonished to know that a regular nap or sleep of a snail is one week

Top ten abbreviation

noreply@blogger.com (Sandeep chaurasia) — Fri, 8 Jun 2012 03:20:00 -0700

10:

(BYE) Be With You Every time

(SMILE) Sweet Memories In Lip Expressions

(PEN) Power Enriched in Nib

(TEA) Taste And Energy Admitted

(EAT) Energy And Taste

(DATE) Day And Time Evolution

(AIM) Ambition In Mind

(JOKE) Joy Of Kids Entertainment

(COLD) Chronic Obstructive Lung Disease

(CHESS) Chariot, Horse, Elephant, Soldiers

The worlds largest family

noreply@blogger.com (Sandeep chaurasia) — Fri, 8 Jun 2012 03:15:00 -0700

The worlds largest family surrounds against a single person named Ziona Chana, who married to 39 women till known 2011.
This huge family of Ziona Chana is considered to be the largest family of the world which lives in Baktawng village, a mountainous area of Mizoran, India.

Ziona Chana

Ziona Chana beleived to be the head of the worlds largest family comprising of his 39 Wives, 99 Children and 33 Grand Children.
Ziona Chana and his family all lives together in a house, could be called a 4 storey hostel or hotel with 100 rooms.

Amazing Facts about Worlds Largest Family:

His wives share bed with him in turns and he prefer the youngest one to be closer with him.
30 chickens are needed to make one single dinner with 132lb potatoes and 220lb of rice.

Images below are Ziona Chana and his family.

image credit: flickr babyacenet

Ziona chana live with his family in this house, the strongest house made in this village.

image credit: flickr imlean

Starfish can change their Gender

noreply@blogger.com (Sandeep chaurasia) — Fri, 11 May 2012 00:49:00 -0700

Starfish, also known as Sea stars are one of the most beautiful creatures that are found in seas. Although they are know as Starfish but in fact they are not fish but echinoderms (a kind of marine animals). They do not have scales, gills or fins like fish. There are about 1800 to 2000 species of starfish. They are usually found in all oceans of the world. They prefer coastal areas and coral reefs.
Starfish have usually five rays or arms but many of them also have 10 to 15 arms. A rare type of starfish can have up to 50 arms. Their size is about 5 to 10 inches and weight is up to 11 lbs. They have a microscopic eye spot at the end of each arm which helps them to view the moments of other sea animals and differentiate between darkness and light. They have tube like feet with the help of which they can move.
Amazing facts about Starfish:

Starfish are brainless.
Starfish can regenerate a broken arm.
If they are cut into pieces, every piece can become a new starfish.

Asterina Gibossa, a rare species of starfish, are born male but later they change themselves into females. Also there are some other species of starfish that can change their gender with the change of temperature and it also depends on the availability of food.
They don’t have blood in their body. They have a water vascular system having sea water in it.
A female starfish can lay about 1.3 million eggs at one time, off which lots of eggs are eaten by other marine animals, that is why their population is in control.
They have two stomachs.
Although there are about 1800-2000 species of starfish, most famous or common of them are Bat Star, Red Knobbed Star, Pink sea Star, Carpet sea star and Eleven-armed sea star.

Yakutsk, the place where you can be frozen in seconds

noreply@blogger.com (Sandeep chaurasia) — Fri, 11 May 2012 00:28:00 -0700

You think your winters are colder? You are feeling much cold at the temperature of -5C. Just imagine yourself at a place where the weather is -50C. Yakutsk, the capital city of Sakha Republic in Russia has the honor to have the lowest temperature in the world with highest numbers of inhabitants.
The lowest temperature recorded in Yakutsk is -64.4C. There are many other places where temperature is lower than Yakutsk but there are very less number of inhabitants or there are no inhabitants living there at all.
Yakutsk Discovery:
Yakutsk was founded in 1632 by Pyotr Beketov. Administratively Yakutsk is incorporated as “Yakutsk City of Republic Significance”. Due to its mineral reserves, it is also known as the City of Gold and Diamonds.
Why people moving to Yakutsk rather than leaving:
The reason of people moving in to Yakutsk is not because of its freezing temperature but rather something else. Yes, you got it resources and plenty of them. The discovery of large reserves of gold, diamonds, gas, petrol and other minerals in 1880′s and 1890′s make this freezing place famous and so the population if on the rise.
What other things are amazing about Yakutsk:

If you are not dressed properly, you can be frozen with in seconds.
-45C and you will be warned not to wear glasses, because it can stick to your cheeks and will tear off your flesh on removing them.
-40C is considered cold, Yes, you heard me just cold and not very cold.
When some one throw water out of a glass, it changes into ice within a couple of seconds while producing a small blast.

shayari

noreply@blogger.com (Sandeep chaurasia) — Fri, 4 May 2012 23:21:00 -0700

Jaan hai mujhko zindagi se pyaari,
Jaan ke liye kar doon kurbaan yaari,
Jaan ke liye todd doon dosti tumhaari,
Ab tumse kya chhupaana,
Tum hi toh ho jaan hamaari !

Send to Friends

Tumse doori ka ehsaas sataane lagaa,
Tere saath guzaraa har lamha yaad aane laga,
Jab bhi tujhe bhoolne ki koshish ki aye dost,
Tu dil ke aur bhi kareeb aane laga !

Send to Friends

Zindagi nahin humein doston se pyaari,
Doston pe haazir hai jaan hamaari,
Aankhon mein hamaari aansoon hai toh kya,
Jaan se bhi pyaari hai muskaan tumhaari !

Send to Friends

Jasbaate ishq naakaam naa hone denge,
Dil ki duniya mein kabhi shaam naa hone denge,
Dosti ka har ilzaam apne sar par le lenge,
Par dost hum tumhe badnaam na hone denge !

Send to Friends

Dosti toh sirf ek ittefaaq hai,
Yeh toh dilon ki mulaakaat hai,
Dosti nahi dekhti yeh din hai ki raat hai,
Isme toh sirf wafaadaari aur jasbaat hai !

Send to Friends

Dosti achchi ho toh rang laati hai,
Dosti gehri ho toh sabko bhaati hai,
Dosti naadaan ho toh toot jaati hai,
Par agar dosti apne jaisi ho….
…. Toh itihaas banaati hai !

Send to Friends

Shaam hote hi ye Dil udaas hota hai
Toote khwaboo ke siwa kuch na pass hota hai
Tumahri yaad aise waqt bohat aati hai
Bandar jab koi aas-paas hota hai..

Send to Friends

Khuda Hi Khuda
Idhar khuda hai, udar khuda hai,
Jidar dekho udar khuda hai,
idhar-udhar bus khuda hi khuda hai
jidhar nahi khuda hai….udhar kal khudega!

Send to Friends

Pyaar Ise Kehte Hain
Jawani ko zindage ki nikhaar kehte hain,
pathjad ko chaman ka majdhaar kehte hain,
Ajeeb chalan hain duniya ka yaaro,
Ek Dhoka hain Jise hum sab “PYAAR” kehte hain !

Send to Friends

Hathon se girr gaee lakiren kahin,
Bhool aaye hum apni takdeer kahin,
Agar tumhe mile to utha lena,
Mere hisse ki har khushi hathon mein saja lena.

Send to Friends

Tumhari khushi hi se hi nahin, gham se bhi rishta hai humara,
Ye jo tumhari zindagi hai, woh ek hissa hai humara,
Aye-dost tumse lafzon ka hi nahin, Ruh ka bhi rishta hai humara.

Send to Friends

10 Resume Tips for Technology Professionals

noreply@blogger.com (Sandeep chaurasia) — Sun, 1 Apr 2012 21:30:00 -0700

1. Understand Attention Spans

Keep in mind that people read resumes about halfway down the page/screen before deciding if they are going to continue reading, save it for later or hit the delete button. Anything marketable about you should be in the top third of the resume.

2. Make It an Appropriate Length

The optimal length of the resume will depend on your experience. A person with a single year’s experience and a four-page resume is in trouble, as is a person with 10 years experience and a one-page resume. Be concise and try to fit your resume into three pages. Need to cut down? You don’t need an objective — it’s a waste of precious space, unless you are a career changer.

3. General Summaries Bad, Technical Summaries Good

General summaries can help if used sparingly and appropriately. Technical summaries are more helpful, because the first person reading your resume could be non-technical and only knowledgeable enough to look for keywords. However, there should not be a laundry list of every technology you have ever heard about.

4. Dates Matter

Be clear about your dates of employment. Most companies want to see months, not just years — especially if you have some jumps or if you are currently unemployed (i.e. they want to see how long you have been out). It’s better to be upfront than to make them guess.

5. Highlight Accomplishments, Not Just Job Functions

The descriptions of your positions should ideally be a mix of a broad overview and specific accomplishments. That way, recruiters will know what you did day-to-day, but also what effect your activities had on the overall company or department.

6. Quality Writing Still Matters

Long-winded paragraphs or bullets are mind numbing, but short choppy sentences can appear simplistic. The ideal resume should have a combination of short paragraphs and bullets — or even just bullets. If you opt for bullets, combine related activities into one bullet where appropriate to save room.

7. Use Action Verbs

The most overused phrases on resumes are “responsible for” or “participated in.” It’s hard to know if you were just a bystander or a true contributor or even a leader on a project. It’s okay to use these terms once or twice, but it’s much better to use something like “managed,” “completed,” “administered,” “developed,” etc. If you are having trouble coming up with action verbs, Thesaurus.com should be your new best friend.

8. There Are No Rules About Education Placement

Education placement is variable. If you went to a particularly good school, have an advanced degree or have a very relevant degree to the types of roles you are pursuing, then it might be worth putting at the top, but it’s okay for education to be at the bottom, too.

The same applies for certifications — but if you have many, then it might consume too much space at the top. Assuming your resume has the experience to back up the certifications, your prospective employer will be intrigued enough to get to them at the end.

9. People are Not That Interested in Interests

The ubiquitous “Interests” section isn’t really necessary; however, if there’s something you are particularly proud of and it’s short, then feel free to include it at the end of your resume. There is always the possibility that when you put “competitive running” on your resume that the person reading your resume is a marathoner and gives you an interview for that reason. However, you should exclude any activities that could be seen as overly political or offensive.

10. Be Prepared With A Versatile Resume Template

Sometimes it’s valuable to have more than one version of your resume. For example, if your background could be applicable to manager or individual contributor positions, you don’t want to scare someone off with a heavy manager resume for a contributor role or vice versa. However, you should not make yourself crazy writing a new resume for every position that comes up (an especially tempting habit if you are unemployed).

You should develop a resume template you feel comfortable with, and then make minor tweaks if necessary. Also, be sure to update your resume annually to avoid having to revamp it in a panic when you really need it.

jokes

noreply@blogger.com (Sandeep chaurasia) — Fri, 16 Mar 2012 01:56:00 -0700

I Found Aaladin's Lamp,
I Asked Him 2 Increase All Girls brain Ten Times More..
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

.

He Laughed ROFL & told-

.

.

Multiplication Does Not Apply On Zero

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Father: Beta!
Tu ne Engineering K 4 Saalon Mein Sb Se Mushkil Kaam Kon Sa Seekha. ?
.?
.?
.
.?
?.
.?
Son: Bus Ki Chatt Pe baith K....Tez Hawaon Mein 1Teeli Se 3 Cigarette Jalana....!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ek baar santa prabhu ki tapasya main doob gaye...Santa ki tapasya se khush hokar prabhu bole
Prabhu - "VAR MANGO VATS"
Santa - Prabhu!! Jaisa aap soch rahe ho main waisa nahi hun...
MUJHE VADHU CHAHIYE!

----------------------------------------------------------------------
varialble

Local variable: Jeena Yahan Marna Yahan, Iske siva Jana kaahan..
2. Global variable: Musafir hoon yaaron, na ghar hai na thikana..
3. Null pointers: Mera jeevan kora kagaz kora hi reh gaya .
4. The debugger: Jab koi baat bigad jaye Jab koi mushkil pad jaye Tum dena saath mera hamnawaz.
5. Unexpected bug (esp. during presentation to client): Ye kya hua, Kaise hua, Kab hua, Kyon hua.
6. And then to the client: Jab hua, Tab hua, O chhodo, ye na socho.
7. Load Balancing: Saathi haath badhana ek akela thak jayega mil kar bojh uthana.
8. Modem - talk on a busy connection: suno - kaho, kaha - suna, kuch huwa kya? Abhee to nahin... kuch bi nahin.
9. Two Recursive functions calling each other: Mujhe kuchh kehna hein mujhe bhi kuchh kehna hein pehle tum, pehle tum.
10. Hidden or Private scope Variable/value: Jaanejan .. dhoondta phir raha, Hoon tujhe raat din, main yahan se wahan.

-----------------------------------------------------------
Smile
Smile is not a single word
Its a beautiful sentence
'S' peak
'M' ore
'I' n
'L'ess
'E' nergy

So Always Smile....

-----------------------------------------------
Mad: What is the name of your car?
Dad: I forgot the name, but is starts with 'T'.
Mad: Oh, what a strange car, starts with Tea. All cars that I know start with petrol.
-------------------------------------------

Interviewer : "We need someone, who will be responsible for the job."
Candidate : "Sir your search ends here!
Interviewer : How ? Will you
Candidate : In my previous job whenever something went wrong, everybody said I was responsible."
Interviewer : ??????

---------------------------------------------

Man 1 : How do two programmers make money?
Man 2 : One writes viruses, the other anti-viruses

-------------------------------------------------
If two twin happen in s/w engineer house

if twins born in software engineer's house means what will be name?

guess????

Ans: copy and paste

---------------------------------------------------

Husband: (Returning late from work) "Good Evening Dear, I`m now logged in."

Wife???: Have you brought the grocery?
Husband: Bad command or filename.

Wife???: But I told you in the morning!
Husband: Erroneous syntax. Abort?

Wife???: What about my new TV?
Husband: Variable not found ...

Wife???: At least, give me your Credit Card, I want to do some shopping.
Husband: Sharing Violation. Access denied...

--------------------------------------------------

Soldier: Sir we are surrounded from all sides by enemies ...
Major: EXCELLENT ! we can attack in any Direction.

-----------------------------------------------------

Man: I could go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: Yes, but would you stay there?
Man: I offer you myself.
Woman: I am sorry I never accept cheap gifts.
Man: I want to share everything with you.
Woman: Let's start from your bank account.

----------------------------------------------------
Boy to Girl
BOY- CHALTE CHALTE YUNHI RUK JATA HOON MAIN
BAITHE BAITHE KAHI KHO JATA HOON MAIN
KYA YEHI PYAR HAI
GIRL- NHI YE KAMZORI HAI SUBAH SHAAM GLUCOSE PIYA KARO.../

--------------------------------------------------------------
Deadlock

The Boss asked to his secretary : This week we are going abroad.so make arrangements.
Secretary makes call to her husband : This week My Boss and I will be going abroad. so take care of Yourself.
Husband makes call to his secret lover : My wife is going abroad this week.So we can spend this together.
Secret lover makes call to the small boy to whom she gives private tution and told :This week I have some urgent work so there will not be any classes this week and you need not come this week.
The small boy makes call to his grandfather : Grandpa this week there will not be any classes as my teacher has some urgent work.so we can spend this week together.
Grandfather (The Boss)makes call to his secretary : cancel the trip as I will spend this week with my grandson. We will not attend that meeting.

The Secretary makes call to her husband : Sorry My boss has cancelled the trip.so I will not go abroad this week.

The husband makes call to his secret lover : sorry my wife has cancelled her trip. so we will not be able to spend this week together.

The secret lover calls to the small boy : There will be classes as usual this week also.
The small boy makes call to his grandfather (The Boss): Grandpa sorry,There will be classes as usual this week also.so I will not spend this week together.
The Boss makes call to his secretary :We will attend that meeting .so make arrangements.
What is this??
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
This is deadlock!!!!!

-------------------------------------------

Employee: Boss, Now i have got married..! Please increase my salary..!
BOSS: Factory is not responsible for accidents occuring outside the company..!

-----------------------------------------------

Philosophy of life
At the begining of married life, every gal treats her husband as GOD,
Later on somehow the alphabets got reversed..!

----------------------------------------------

Teacher : why you are sleeping in the class ? Tum School kisliye ate ho ?
Student : Vidya k liye sir.
Teacher : To tum so kyu rahe ho ?
Student : Sir, aj Vidya absent hai na .......!

--------------------------------
Mahabharat

Krishna:
Arjun, Try to respect the e-mails of your colleagues.

Arjun:
But Vasudev, how dare I send junk mails to my honourable elders who are logged on to honourable domains ?

Krishna:
Paarth, at this moment they neither are your friend nor your foes. They are mere mail-users. So follow your Net-dharma. Logon and send dozens of junk mails. This is your Karma and this alone is your Dharma.

Arjun:
Murari ! After seeing all this, I feel like resigning from the company itself

Krishna:
Bandhu, it seems you are caught in a vicious circle of Maaya. In this material world you have none and you are commited to none. Junk mails have existed before you came to this world and shall remain long after you are gone. Rise above this Maaya and perform your duty. Just keep sending junk mails.

Arjun:
But Devaki Nandan...........!

Krishna:
...Victory or failure is not in your hands. So stop pondering about results. Don't waste your knowledge on the junk shastra bestowed by your Guru Dronacharya.

Arjun:
Hey Keshav, how is junk mail related to the 'system'?

Krishna:
Junk mail is just junk mail. It has no connection with Hardware. However, it is another matter that it overloads the system... fills up the hard disk....but you are not supposed to worry about it. Listen Kunti putra, the way Aatma leaves one physical body and moves onto another, likewise these junk mails move from system to system.

Arjun:
How can one define junk mail?

Krishna:
Neither fire can burn it.., nor air can dry it... neither it can be conquered nor it can be defeated. He who sends junk mails cannot be looked down upon even by Mahadev... Junk mails are immortal.

Arjun:
Hey Narayan! Now all my doubts on junk mail are crystal clear. You have opened my eyes Yashoda Nandan, or else I would have lost myself in Maaya and read all the junk mails myself.

........... MAHAAABHAAAAARAT ............

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About me : I think I am changing the world, but I am not. I think I am contributing to the Indian economy, but I guess I am not. I think I love my work, but I do not. I think I hate all people who made me earn my engineering degree, and I do. I think I am living, but and most importantly, I am LOOKING for someone!! Ok...I won't be funny anymore. I am a cool guy with a zeal to enjoy life (If you know me--> "Just stop laughing!!")

Relationship status : what?

Birthday : The day my PL is about to fire me.

Age : 10111

Here for: web browsing in company hours.

Children : can't be (hey, don't get me wrong here!!)

Ethnicity : Programmer.

Languages I speak : Java, C/C++, 010101110101

Religion: I get holidays on all religious festivals, so I love all religions.

Political view : the guy sitting beside me is a pig!!

Humor : weekly.

Fashion: Ask my company HR. Btw, I like jeans, t-shirt and a cross-bag.

Smoking: The second greatest pleasure on the earth.

Drinking : The first is this.

Pets: Yeah, my PL looks like a dog. J

Living: Cummon, this is a stupid one. How can this be asked to a software engineer? Believe me, I am living!!

Hometown : My company (Oh God! Please bring my appraiser to this page)

Webpage: http://naukri.com , http://jobsahead.com ß - Isnt it Ultimate???

Passions: searching for the cheapest pub around, cursing my company, looking for other company, remembering my good old college days, worrying about my future.

Sports: quake, CS (Counter Strike), computer chess.

Activities: Are you crazy?

Books: "How to lose weight in 20 days?", "How to live a happy life?", "101 ways to attract a girl", "Java Unleashed", "C++ at your footsteps", Others censored.

Music: Metallica, Pink Floyd, Nirvana, ACDC, and anything depressing.

Tv shows : can't afford one.

Cuisines : Bread Butter, Maggi, anything available within 200 meteres of Home.

------------------------------------------------
Propossing girl in programming way
#include

#include

#include

#include

#define Cute beautiful_lady

main()

{

goto college;

scanf("100%" ,&ladies);

if(lady ==Cute)

line++;

while( !reply )

{

printf("I Love U");

scanf("100%" ,&reply);

}

if(reply == "GAALI")

main(); // go back and repeat the process

else if(reply == "SANDAL ")

exit(1);

else if(reply == "I Love U")

{

lover =Cute ;

love = (heart*)malloc( sizeof(lover) );

}

goto restaurant;

restaurant:

{

food++;

smile++;

pay->money = lover->money;

return(college) ;

}

if(time==2.30)

goto cinema;

cinema:

{

watch++;

if(intermission)

{

coke++;

Popecorn++;

}

}

}

--------------------------------------
Sardar at bar in New York .
Man on his right says "Johny Walker single"
Man on his left says "Peter Scotch single"
Sardar says - "Baljith Singh Married" .
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Sardar's theory : Moon is more impt than Sun, coz it gives light at night when light is needed & Sun gives light during the day when light
is not needed!!!
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Boss : I am giving u job as a driver. STARTING salary Rs.2000/-, is it o.k
Sardar : U R great sir! Starting salary is o.k.......but??
how much is DRIVING salary...?
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A sardar on an interview 4 da post detective.
Interviewer : who killed Gandhi?
Sardar : Thank u sir 4 giving me d job, I will start investigating. ......
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How to check Who has visited my Facebook profile?

noreply@blogger.com (Sandeep chaurasia) — Thu, 22 Dec 2011 01:00:00 -0800

If you want to know about who has visited your facebook profile then
Sorry! it’s not possible on facebook. Other social website like orkut provides this function.
Facebook not allows this feature and not gives this facility to users.
Facebook not provide this function who has visited to your profile because facebook wants all users freely move to other profile and view the profile. If any such application exist then that application is against facebook.com policy.

इन्टरनेट Photoshop

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http://pixlr.com/editor/
Web developer Mobile jquery

Select Reopen All Tabs

noreply@blogger.com (Sandeep chaurasia) — Tue, 29 Nov 2011 01:52:00 -0800

Chrome has an option that lets you reopen previously opened pages before you closed the browser. This comes in handy if the browser crashes for some reason and you had a lot of tabs open. I recommend that you make sure this option is checked. Learn how to do it here

About:memory

noreply@blogger.com (Sandeep chaurasia) — Tue, 29 Nov 2011 01:48:00 -0800

For the geeks among you, Chrome provides an “About memory” page that can accessed by typing about:memory in the address bar. This gives detailed insights into how different processes in the browser are consuming memory

Chrome Task manager

noreply@blogger.com (Sandeep chaurasia) — Tue, 29 Nov 2011 01:43:00 -0800

Chrome treats each tab as a separate process so that if one of them starts creating a problem, it can be killed and a browser crash could be prevented. It offers a built-in task manager to let you see the memory and CPU resources consumed by each tab. You can access it through Tools –> Task Manager or by pressing Shift+Esc.

Do a Barrel roll

noreply@blogger.com (Sandeep chaurasia) — Tue, 29 Nov 2011 01:41:00 -0800

After writting you will amazed.

google gravity

How do I set up a free @facebook.com email address?

noreply@blogger.com (Sandeep chaurasia) — Wed, 23 Nov 2011 22:52:00 -0800

To set up a free @facebook.com address, go to your Messages view and click the "Claim your Facebook email" link.

Your email address will match your public username, for example:

Profile: facebook.com/username
Email: username@facebook.com

If you don’t have a username yet, you can choose one when you create your email address.

Once you set up your email address, people can email you using any traditional email system (e.g., Hotmail, Yahoo or Gmail), and the emails will be delivered to your Facebook Messages. When you send messages to external email addresses, the emails will be formatted to look like Facebook messages, including your name, your profile picture and your message.

Recovery

noreply@blogger.com (Sandeep chaurasia) — Sat, 5 Nov 2011 02:36:00 -0700

http://www.torrents.net/find/Acer+Aspire+4720z+Recovery+Disc/