Don E. Chute

OBSERVATIONS FROM A BLOWN FUSE 5.18.2012

noreply@blogger.com (Don E. Chute) — Fri, 18 May 2012 17:05:00 +0000

AND YOU THOUGHT YOU WERE HAVING A BAD DAY...WHEN...

Flesh-Eating Bacteria Consumes Man's Penis...
That would really suck...no pun intended, and no laughing matter. I had a mersa virus eat most of my cervical spine...Thank God it didn't go further south!

He has to sit down to urinate. He'll never have any intimate relationships with anyone, and he's lost his manhood.

- Enrique Milla's attorney, Spencer Aronfeld

I don't know if this is a "before" or "after photo"...but he's still got a smile on his face!

Family: Woman Mistakenly Buried In Clothes, Cemetery Plot Of Someone Else...

The family of Mercedes Rodriguez says she left specific wishes: a closed casket funeral and internment above ground in her hometown in Nicaragua. Instead, Rodriguez was placed in an open casket, dressed in another woman’s clothing and buried in that woman’s cemetery plot, the Los Angeles Times reported.

My 'specific wish'...Dress me in my favorite shirt, shorts, and flip-flops...take me out to the Majestic Atlantic Ocean just a few miles from where I'm sitting, and dump me overboard for my last swim...cuz I'd rather be fish bait, than worm food...besides by that time it really doesn't matter anyway, right?

VIDEO: DUI Driver Blows Through Intersection During Live TV Report On Crosswalk Safety...

SACRAMENTO (CBS13) – A live morning television report on crosswalk safety almost turned tragic as an alleged drunk driver failed to stop and burned rubber through an intersection just as the reporter was about to cross the street as a California Highway Patrol officer looked on.

The reality is that this sucks way worse than having your penis disappear, or having your 'specific wishes' f*#*ed up, as drunk driving ruins more lives than anything else idiotic.

Well the rest of the headlines are just as f*#*ed up, so we will end this with...have you bought your Facebook stock yet?

And something really spirited!

As always thank you blogmeister, The Drudge Report for the headlines

HUMP DAY 5.09.2012

noreply@blogger.com (Don E. Chute) — Wed, 09 May 2012 11:38:00 +0000

http://twitchy.com/2012/05/08/cher-doesnt-want-to-breathe-the-same-air-as-romney-and-his-racist-homophobic-women-hating-tea-bagger-masters/

"If ROMNEY gets elected I don't know if i can breathe same air as Him & his Right Wing Racist Homophobic Women Hating Tea Bagger Masters."

This coming from a women
who has done so much for the nuclear family? I like her music, but when will these celebrity near do wells just shut up? The 'tea bagger' reference is not only old but really racist and homophobic.

http://politicalticker.blogs.cnn.com/2012/05/08/biden-defends-iran-stance-we-were-the-problem/

Sorry sir...You are the problem!

Hillary your not getting older....your just getting old! When your husband...remember him BILL, sports himself as a spicy older dude, and you with all your money and assistance's come off looking like a washed up soccer Mom...it's just sad.

Man arrested after 4 kids found strapped to hood...
And Romney gets a load of it for strappin a dog in a doggie carrier to the hood of his car!

More Unaccompanied Children Crossing US-Mexico Border Illegally...

Now don't only the parents want to leave this FU'd country...but the kids want to leave the parents and the country. GOD BLESS AMERICA!

THANK GOD IT'S MONDAY 5.7.2012

noreply@blogger.com (Don E. Chute) — Mon, 07 May 2012 10:29:00 +0000

Just a couple of tunes to sooth my mood these days...

TALK TO YOU SOON!!

OBSERVATIONS FROM A BLOWN FUSE 5.7.2012

noreply@blogger.com (Don E. Chute) — Mon, 07 May 2012 05:44:00 +0000

As I start to begin this post I was going to look to the headlines and pick off stories that I could trip off of. So sad to bad all I found was negative vibes. Where has all the good stories gone?

Are we so bathed in BAD news that we are sheltered from the GOOD?

France is off the reservation...good for em let them disappear in the ir relevant. The US keeps saving their asses anyway so let them fight for themselves.
Obama invites Hollande to White House. No surprise there...socialist are born together and stay together.
Kids raped and sodomized on Facebook? how in the hell does this happen? Where have we stumbled off the path of good vs evil?

Then we have the beautiful boys of summer...Syria's Muslim Brotherhood, who want to rise from the ashes of their death and destruction.

Okeedoughkee...I can't do this anymore...We have to have a little fun!!

CINCO DE MAYO 2012

noreply@blogger.com (Don E. Chute) — Sat, 05 May 2012 14:30:00 +0000

For those of you who use Cinco De Mayo as an excuse to binge drink I have a few fun facts for you in this 150th anniversary of an excuse to swallow vast amounts of Tequila with lime and salt for no apparent reason.

Literally "the Fifth of May," Cinco de Mayo is a Mexican Holiday celebrating the Battle of Puebla, which took place on May 5, 1862. In 1861, France sent a massive army to invade Mexico, as they wanted to collect on some war debts. The French army was much larger, better trained and equipped than the Mexicans struggling to defend the road to Mexico City. It rolled through Mexico until it reached Puebla, where the Mexicans made a valiant stand, and, against all logic, won a huge victory. It was short-lived, as the French army regrouped and continued; eventually taking Mexico City, but the euphoria of an unlikely victory against overwhelming odds is remembered every May fifth.

I have a overwhelming idea for a new US National Holiday!
We will call it...Seis De Noviembre, for those of you who don't understand English or Spanish it's the 6th of November.

On this day we will oust the most Commie loving, Socialist, Narcissistic, Lie'r, in chief within this nations history...Barack Hussein Obama, or Mr. Cool as he is known by his sycophant fans.

On the eve of the polls closing WE THE PEOPLE will embark in consuming rivers of adult beverages, for those of you tea toddlers chugging V8 juice will fortify you.

SALUTE TO SEIS DE NOVIEMBRE!

LIKE...AWESOME...COOL...

noreply@blogger.com (Don E. Chute) — Thu, 03 May 2012 04:01:00 +0000

You know whenever I tune into what is being said by people around me whether it be in public, private, TV, etc...It's like, really like, annoying that it seems that like they insert 'like' in sentences where it doesn't belong.

IT'S SO BAD THAT LIKE I EVEN FIND MYSELF DOING IT!!

This mangling of sentence structure must be stopped ! Listen to yourself...I bet you do it too.

Sophie and Daddy Gene

Recently I watched an episode of Celebridate [ I have DirectTV, I can watch almost all crap, all the time]. Anywho's it starred Sophie Simmons, daughter of Rock God Gene Simmons of KISS [ in case you just landed on the planet]. She is in college, and studying Computer Science. She is a 'gamer' and wants to develop computer games...So she's no idiot, right?

In case your not familiar Celebridate
is a direct rip off of my generations The Dating Game, except with Celeb the doltish dates are out in the open instead of hidden, as in TDG. The show goes like this...Sophie asks initial questions of the 3 dating dude dolts, and eliminates 1 right off the bat. Then Sophie goes out on dates with the other 2 DDD, and after all that excitement picks The One to date again if all are agreeable. From beginning to end all Q and A's went like this...

Sophie: " So dolt, like, what is your favorite thing you like?"

Dolt: " Well, like I really like surfing cause it's so cool and awesome."

Sophie: " Like that's awesome and cool."

Dolt: " Like very awesome and cool."

On and on it went for 30 minutes until I wanted to wrap duct tape around my head to keep it from exploding.

As always if there is a problem, Don E's got the solution...First off... you Gen XYZ'ers broaden your vocabulary, good God even if your a brainy computer nerd, and wannabe model and singer. Second...no matter where you are or who your with, If 'like' is inserted incorrectly in a sentence, call them on it! My daughter and I do this over the phone, and it really works. Makes you think about what your about to say. Next for Families, Roomies, etc. Turn the cussing jar into the 'like' jar. Every time someone skids in a 'like' incorrectly, 50cent goes into the jar. Takes training of the mind and pocket book, but problem solved...eventually.

Well I really hope you liked this post, because like that would just be like really awesome and cool...

FIVE MINUTE MANAGEMENT COURSE

noreply@blogger.com (Don E. Chute) — Wed, 02 May 2012 12:11:00 +0000

Lesson 1:

A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings.
The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs.
When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbor.
Before she says a word, Bob says, 'I'll give you $800 to drop that towel.'
After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob, after a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and leaves.
The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs.
When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, 'Who was that?'
'It was Bob the next door neighbour,' she replies.
'Great,' the husband says, 'did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?'
Moral of the story:

If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure.

Lesson 2:
A priest offered a Nun a lift.

She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg.
The priest nearly had an accident. After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg.
The nun said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129?'
The priest removed his hand but, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again.
The nun once again said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129?'
The priest apologized 'Sorry sister but the flesh is weak.'
Arriving at the convent, the nun sighed heavily and went on her way.
On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It said, 'Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory.'
Moral of the story:
If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great opportunity.

Lesson 3:
A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp.
They rub it and a Genie comes out. The Genie says, 'I'll give each of you just one wish.'
'Me first! Me first!' says the admin clerk. 'I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care in the world.'
Puff! She's gone.
'Me next! Me next!' says the sales rep. 'I want to be in Hawaii, relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life.'
Puff! He's gone.
'OK, you're up,' the Genie says to the manager.
The manager says, 'I want those two back in the office after lunch.'
Moral of the story:
Always let your boss have the first say.
Lesson 4
An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing. A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, 'Can I also sit like you and do nothing?'
The eagle answered: 'Sure, why not.'
So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.
Moral of the story:
To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.

Lesson 5
A turkey was chatting with a bull. 'I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree' sighed the turkey, 'but I haven't got the energy.'
'Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?' replied the bull. They're packed with nutrients.'
The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree.
The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch.
Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of the tree.
He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree.
Moral of the story:
Bull Crap might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there..
Lesson 6

A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field.
While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him. As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how warm he was. The dung was actually thawing him out!
He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy.
A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate. Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.
Morals of the story:
(1) Not everyone who craps on you is your enemy.
(2) Not everyone who gets you out of the crap is your friend.
(3) And when you're in deep crap, it's best to keep your mouth shut!
THUS ENDS THE FIVE MINUTE MANAGEMENT COURSE

I didn't make this up...but whoever did, Thank You!
Send this to at least five bright, funny people you know and make their day!

GAS...GRASS...OR ASS...

noreply@blogger.com (Don E. Chute) — Mon, 27 Feb 2012 05:01:00 +0000

NOBODY RIDES FOR FREE...

What kind of nation have we become? Most all want to ride for FREE. Even Warren Buffett the ultra rich dude who thinks the "RICH" should pay more taxes...Well in the immortal words of Governor Christie..."Write a check and shut up."

GAS...Why are gas prices going thru the sky? Why is Diesel the old green alternative costing more than regular petroleum? It's good ol' supply and demand. WE NEED TO TAP OUR OWN NATIONAL RESOURCES!! It's right under our feet. God given natural resources that the Environmental Whackjobs keep us from and Obamanation caters to the whackjobs.

GRASS...Come on, let's put this baby to bed. I am not a pot smoker, really never was even back in the 60's-70's-80's. My concern is that more people die every single minute of every single day due to Alcohol. Let's face it folks we can make our own Cash Crop out of this and take it out of the hands of the Drug Kingpins...the MexiCartels. At least let us make Hemp rope, clothes, etc.

ASS...Now we are getting into uncharted territory...I am a one way street, goin out, not in. So what can we do about ASS? The very first thing that comes to mind is...[No Not Porn]...Physical Fitness. We have become a nation of lard asses. Go ahead look at your ass in a mirror, and the mirror doesn't put pounds on your ass. Don't be an' ASS to your neighbor, friend, relative, significant other. BE NICE, AN IF YOU CAN'T BE NICE BE SILENT.

SOMETHING TO PONDER ON A WEEKEND

noreply@blogger.com (Don E. Chute) — Sat, 25 Feb 2012 21:02:00 +0000

GIVE EM HELL, AND IF YOU CAN'T GIVE EM HELL, BE NICE!!

SEE YOU ON MONDAY !!

IT'S TUESDAY SO IT'S TIME TO VOTE

noreply@blogger.com (Don E. Chute) — Tue, 31 Jan 2012 13:15:00 +0000

IT'S TUESDAY SO IT'S TIME TO VOTE...

Since I live in Florida it is time for me to do my Citizenship and vote for my replacement to Obamanation.

Just let me tell you the best don't mettle themselves through this process.

My vote will be cast for the former Speaker of the House, Mr. Newt.

Newt engineered every Conservative boat right in the last 100 years. We are electing a human to engineer as a CEO the figure head the head of our country.

NO MAN IS PIOUS!

So just like the Cow chasing a ass, that's where we are now...

Vote for the Cow, not the Ass.

Nothings from sunny south Florida...

THE MAYANS AND 2012

noreply@blogger.com (Don E. Chute) — Thu, 05 Jan 2012 14:50:00 +0000

You know I am getting a little puffed about all this 2012 crud and the Mayans....Why put so much stock into a people that couldn't even figure how to poop in a inside toilet?

The folks that have encumbered themselves into this 2012 Apocalypse are just a little far into there bag of Gangs. So let's take a little sojourner into the first few says of 2012...

The Mayans disappeared from the face of the earth without indoor plumbing, and now we are supposed to believe these outdoor pooper scoopers are to lead our lives....BS!

In the Political ream...My Man Herman Cain folded like a used Turkey, and thank G
OD Michelle Bachman did the same. Now if we could just get Rick Perry gettin back to shootin wild game in Texas we would be back to all square (minus Obamas puppet Huntsman).

Newt (angry Newt) is the real deal...He engineered the destruction o f the DDD party after 60 years of rule...He engineered the Contract of America (YEA). We are not electing a President as Saint, we are electing a person as CEO of America.

Mitt is a tool he is just playin it safe because he figures every LOSER needs his place.

I'm not going to mess with Santurum now because he has a special relationship with GOD and I am not willin' to screw with that....Ron Paul is just half part genus and half part nuts...

Screw the Mayans...go out and live a little...

WRITERS BLOCK DUX AND OTHER JUNK FROM THE BLOWN FUSE

noreply@blogger.com (Don E. Chute) — Mon, 26 Sep 2011 04:01:00 +0000

Yeppers it happened again...Writer Constipation...Didn't have the stamanation, or motivation to sit in front of the flat screen and type out the mumbo-jumbo.

It's been 2 weeks since my last post promising that I was going to post at least thrice weekly...Oops.

Well let me see what I can drainO out of the Blown Fuse...

So how did you folks like last Monday nights premier episode of One and a half Men? Personally, aside from the Cameo appearances of most of all of Charlies women at the Funeral, and 'Darhma and Greg' at the Open House I thought it was as predicted in previous posts [look em up if not intuit ], One of the most watched sit-coms in history, with about 28 zillion people watching. I still predict that it will shine for about 2-1/2 episodes...then SPLAT...

The famed Charlie Replacement who's best work has been Punk'd, Demi's Husband...AK, was a regurgitated billionaire tech wiz version of 'Kelso' on that 70's Show. 'Alan' was Alan and 'Half Kid' is now just a surly teenager.

As my Dad usta' say..."We will see what we will see"...

I have been soooo out of it, I'm not really sure whats trending...lessee...

Hot Topics per Alexa at 9.25 pm Sunday...

Hot Topics

1. Jennifer Aniston

2. Jeffrey Jethro Pet...

3. Terra Nova

4. weather

5. hotmail.com

Jennifer Aniston is HOTHotHOt
Who the hell is Jeffrey Jethro Pettigrew ?
What the hell is Terra Nova ?
The Weather Is Here I wish You Were Beautiful [thanks JB]
Yes we know your mail is hot...I like gmail better.
Who the hell is Victor Cruz ?
I know Deion [one toe] Sanders...King of Direct TV Ads.
MapQuest...come on get your bearings...what did folks do before GPS ?
Facebook is really sucking right now...I can't navigate.
WTF is Droid Bionic ?
Sarah Smile...
Buffalo Bills beat my RAIDERS last week and I hated them, they beat the Patriots this week and I LOVE EM' :)
The World Market...? Where's the BEEF ?
Just keep it in the air...and don't keep me on the runway without a drink.
TV should never be free...unless you have a old pair of rabbit ears.
I would love to Occupy Wall Street...but I would never leave Florida.
Michael Vick is still a dog mauling DICK.
See #14
Kobe Bryant is the heir to Michael Jorden...
Google Maps are sooooo cool, but see #8

Badee-badee-badee that's all folks...I have to cool the fuse...I'm Running On Empty...

LIFE AFTER THE BREAKATION

noreply@blogger.com (Don E. Chute) — Sun, 11 Sep 2011 04:09:00 +0000

Have you ever experienced life after a Breakation ? No not a Vacation...not a Sabbatical...but a break from what was a non income producing Vocation, like blogging ?

Some have, but some have not...

IT'S CALLED WRITERS BLOCK !?

You have a lot to say...but you just don't know how to say it, in words, to ya' all.

I could go on an on of what's been goin' on with me the last few months, but that would not do it justice in a blog. Nor would I want it to do justice to air the laundry [feweee].

I would just as well dispel all that crap and flush it down the terlit than to have me regurgitate it for you all.

So what I'm telling you now is that I'm trying to summin the Blown Fuse Mind into something that ya-all will enjoy reading again [since my url hits have it the basement].

This is for Sunday The start of the real Football Season...I will hope to continue at least 3-4 posts a week to keep you all entertained.

GO OAKLAND RAIDERS ON MONDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL !!!

My laps has been both unavoidable and avoided, and for that I am sorry for all of you who have been touching base, with a batter striking out at the plate...

Buy another ticket to the game my folks, and I swear it won't be soooooborin'.

DON E's BREAKATION

noreply@blogger.com (Don E. Chute) — Mon, 05 Sep 2011 12:36:00 +0000

The 1st thing I did was, I moved...For the last 8 years I thought I was DEAD and was spending time in Purgatory...

Now I am still DEAD, but I am livin in Heaven...

I now live in the Sailfish capitol of the world...Stuart, Florida.... and I live ALONE.

Now don't get me wrong on this Labour Day, Commie Holiday. I am livin life large...I take my morning walks, and talk to the dogs...and people too...Every Morining is Breathtakin...and I prey each and every day that I am nolonger in Purgurtory, but in deed in Heaven.

Please com join me on my next foray into my Blown Fuse Mind, you will not be dissapointed.

noreply@blogger.com (Don E. Chute) — Fri, 02 Sep 2011 23:59:00 +0000

Don E Is Back...From a long Breakation. A all new post will appear on Monday [Commie Labour Day], out lining what Don E did on his Breakation.

From then on it will be Hump Day on Wednesday, and who knows what the Blown Fuse will ignite from then on...

To all who are still around...God Bless ya'...Tell your friends and enemies...I'm Back [again].

Happy Commie Labour Day...have a drink on me !

ALL ABOARD THE CAIN TRAIN 8.8.2K11

noreply@blogger.com (Don E. Chute) — Mon, 08 Aug 2011 16:01:00 +0000

If You Like...Please Share With Your Friends...

IT'S SATURDAY IN AMERICA 8.6.2k11

noreply@blogger.com (Don E. Chute) — Sat, 06 Aug 2011 10:16:00 +0000

FROLICKING FRIDAY 8.5.2K11

noreply@blogger.com (Don E. Chute) — Fri, 05 Aug 2011 10:18:00 +0000

You know how I feel about favorite this and favorite that, it's hard to pin me down on a 'favorite' anything. In this theme series I will go deep into my Blown Fuse to uncover my favorite Comedians from Don E's past to present.

The funny lady herself...

HUMP DAY 8.3.2K11

noreply@blogger.com (Don E. Chute) — Wed, 03 Aug 2011 10:02:00 +0000

This is from the brand new OH SHIT! File...

Damn-crap-sonofagun...This is what happens when you pay more attention to Politics and Cat's...

TRACK MAP...

That big frickin dot in the Southeast point is Lake Okeechobee, and I live directly EAST of that, on the Treasure Coast of Florida !! At least I'm moving to a 2nd Story unit today...So Let It Rain...

COLD: CBS will kill off, bury Sheen character...

I'm really disliking that [now] One and a Half Men creator, Chuck Lorrie. While this is not unprecedented in Hollywierd history, It is certainly killing the Goose that laid the Golden Egg. My previous prediction remains the same the first 2-1/2 episodes will be the most watched in TV Sit-Com history...Then Splat!...

Would this be called...putting your money where your mouth is?...or...putting your mouth where your money is?...or...don't fill your ink in the company well?...once again I'm looking at these cards blind...

DUNKIN DONUTS Worker Arrested For Selling Sex In Parking Lot...

Police say 29-year-old Melissa Redmond, of nearby Mine Hill, was arrested for selling sexwhile working late night shifts at the store after soliciting sex from a undercover officer.

Police Det. Sgt. Kyle Schwarzmann said Redmond would go out to cars in the parking lot and spend 15 to 20 minutes in the vehicles.

“Whatever sexual act you want, there was a price for it,” says Schwarzmann.

BUMPY RIDE 8.1.2K11

noreply@blogger.com (Don E. Chute) — Mon, 01 Aug 2011 09:34:00 +0000

A View From Above...Our Collective Toilet...

FROLICKING (oops) FRIDAY 7.29.2K11

noreply@blogger.com (Don E. Chute) — Sat, 30 Jul 2011 03:51:00 +0000

There was this Redd Foxx of Sanford and Son...

Then there was this Redd Foxx of Stand-Up...

HUMP DAY 7.27.2K11

noreply@blogger.com (Don E. Chute) — Wed, 27 Jul 2011 09:26:00 +0000

This From the 'WTF' file...
Atheists sue to block cross from Trade Center memorial...

"The WTC cross has become a Christian icon," said Dave Silverman, president of the atheist group. "It has been blessed by so-called holy men and presented as a reminder that their god, who couldn't be bothered to stop the Muslim terrorists or prevent 3,000 people from being killed in his name, cared only enough to bestow upon us some rubble that resembles a cross. It's a truly ridiculous assertion."

The 'truly ridiculous' ASSertation is that there are ridiculous Asses, that can be ridiculous...But in the land of Freedom of Speech, I can say WTF and FU! I know, not very Christian, but WTF...

Continuing with WTF...

HOMELESS WOMAN CHARGED FOR ASSAULT WITH BRATWURST...

Now let me tell ya' I'm entering into this...blind...I have not yet read the article, but I will use my Blown Fuse Mind to foretell what this may be about...

She didn't know what she was doing...she was drunk...
She grabbed the biggest club she could find...
He Burnt it so he deserved it...
All of the above...

And Now The Envelope Please...

"Connie Jones, 63, told police that she got into a verbal argument in her home with Tajuana Banks, 31, over the childcare of her granddaughter. Jones stated that Banks regularly visits her home and tries to spark physical altercations."

Wrong on all counts...Go figure, it was girl on girl...I gotta check youtube on this one...

I'm on a roll here...More WTF...

COPS: Man attempts surgery on his hernia with butter knife...

"A 63-year-old Glendale man was in stable condition after he attempted surgery on himself with a six-inch butter knife to remove a protruding hernia from his stomach, police said Tuesday.

When police arrived at the man’s home on the 1000 block of Columbus Avenue on Sunday evening, they saw the man lying naked outside on a lounge chair with what appeared to be the handle of a knife protruding from his stomach, Sgt. Tom Lorenz of the Glendale Police Department told the Glendale News-Press."

He didn't know what He was doing...He was drunk...
He grabbed the biggest club He could find...
He Burnt it so he deserved it...
All of the above...

All Headlines Furnished By The Ubberblogger The Drudge Report

DON E's NEW DIETARY STANDARD

noreply@blogger.com (Don E. Chute) — Mon, 25 Jul 2011 04:01:00 +0000

.............Boy I guess you haveta be wondering about this one huh? What could Don E possibly enter into the dietary world that hasn't been crossed by the likes of Jean-Michel Cohen and Dr Dukan in this quest for dietary supremacy?

How bout...

NEW YORK - We've read their books, we've followed their advice and their recipes, and we've probably seen them on television. After all, many of America's most popular diet gurus have turned themselves into globally recognized brands in their quest to make a buck by helping us lose weight.

Curious as to how these slimming superstars got their starts? Click on any diet guru in the box at left to read his or her story.

Want to track news by this author or about this industry? Forbes Attaché makes it easy. Click here.

You could do that to lose a few pounds...Or you could do this...

Don E's New Dietary Standard is....DON'T EAT A BITE UNTIL YOU POOP! That's right, don't put a bit of food [drinkie-drink is okeedoughkee] in your pie hole until you do a #2! Drop the deuce, then you can choose what to eat. Simple, right? Did this take Michele Bama to undertake a billion dollar study to figure out how to make fat kids slim? NONONO.

I'm tellin ya' if you got a problem Don E's got the solution...

Just give me a holler and ask me, cuz as I'm being told all the time..."You just think you know everything."

Yep...It's a blessing and a Curse...

ASK EL PRESIDENTE --- WHAT WILL YOU DO WITH 181 BILLION $$$

noreply@blogger.com (Don E. Chute) — Fri, 22 Jul 2011 21:00:00 +0000

FROLICKING FRIDAY 7.22.2K11

noreply@blogger.com (Don E. Chute) — Fri, 22 Jul 2011 04:01:00 +0000