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hmmm

2012-02-19T08:38:00.000+11:00

I wonder if anyone would notice if I stopped eating? I was watching skins and the other day, the ep in session four where the anorexic chick explains to that guy how she gets away with not eating and even with people watching her and I am now thinking if people would notice if I were to do that because I feel like that is the one thing that is holding me back. I am really hoping that next week when uni starts I can just do a million things all the time which will lead to extra calories being lost and just not eat, or I was also thinking of starting to take laxatives but I still slighting confused of how that actually works, maybe I'll go look that all up now. Lostintransmission.xx

It's my birthday. . .

2012-02-15T22:05:00.000+11:00

Today I had a set goal of weighing 80 kilos, well, that hasn't happened, I'm still my whale of a self who seriously needs to lose this fat. On another note, my bf has found a girl to do a 3-sum with, I'm rather excited. . . I've always wanted to experience and just see what it's like, you know, doing it with a girl and with more then one person, I know the girl through friends but we're not that close and she's a nice kind of person but what I like the most about this girl is that she weighes more then me so I'm not going to feel like complete shit the whole night. I guess that is kind of all for the night, I will keep you all posted on both things soon enough, chao. Lostintransmission.xx

13.2.12

2012-02-13T18:09:00.001+11:00

Today I started with my VLCD shake which tasted terrible because I couldn't find my shaker and had to stir it and there was still lumps all in it! Yukk!

From that I thought I was going really good until about 1pm where my body was like fuck you go eat so I had a wholemeal sandwich with avocado, tasty cheese, turkey breast and pickles. Filled me up and then at about 5pm I had a space stick because my mum got them for my sisters lunches and I was like omg I haven't had one of these in forever I want one! So wasn't worth it tasted like complete crap. :/

Tomorrow hopefully I can do better I've got thing planned all day so I'll be on my feet and hopefully can ignore my cravings and achieve my goal of 80kgs by the end of Feb so I can start on the long haul of 70kgs.

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Straving yourself is not that good of an idea

2012-02-12T22:15:00.001+11:00

Yeah I know you all could of told me that, go suck a fat one alright? I have a new plan, I get a new one every couple of days but my birthday is on wednesday and I'm going out friday night so it is kind of important! I do want to look good so. . . I'm going to eat breakfast to get me through the day because I do way too much not to eat. It's not going to be a big breakfast or nothing so don't get your hopes up but I'm thinking like one of those VLDC Diet shake things (I have a whole lot atm) or like a piece of fruit just to get me up and running and then see how I go and if I'm like dying have either a cucumber or a carrot in the afternoon after the gym. I will let you all know how that goes for me later on. Lostintransmission.xx

Chocolate

2012-02-12T17:26:00.000+11:00

I feel like chocolate or ice cream, but that's just complete shit and not going to help the cause. Fuck life. Lostintransmission.xx

Straving myself

2012-02-10T22:56:00.000+11:00

Alright yes I know it's the wrong thing to do and it can be really bad for me but not as bad as dying from a heart attack at twenty, I'm not going to fully starve myself, or maybe I will on and off but it's going to be a close to nothing diet, no that's not right because it's not going to be a diet it's going to become a life style because I am so fucking over being fat, I tried what everyone had told me to do and all it did was make me lose 5kgs but I'm still fat and this isn't be over exaggerating or anything this me being serious. I'm 85Kgs with a 86 waist like beached whale much? I need a change and this is going to be it, no more listening to what people think is good for you I'm going to lose this weight and be fucking beautiful because it is what I deserve. Lostintransmission.xx

Going Vegan

2012-02-06T09:41:00.002+11:00

So I’ve been thinking and well I eat a lot of crap food and I thought why don’t I try something to stop doing that so I’m going to try a vegan diet for a month and see how it goes, I don’t know how I’m going to cope without having a ham and cheese croissant when I go out with the girls but oh well, it’s worth a try and there is really no harm it slipping up and now and then. Lostintransmission.xx

uni

2012-02-05T22:00:00.001+11:00

So tonight I got bored and decided I should check out my course load for uni and my time table and text books and well basically everything and truthfully right now I feel so over whelmed I don't want to go anymore. Just thought I would share that after 13 years of schooling I finally get to the start of the rest of my life and I just want to go back to kiddy. Lostintransmission.xx

84.4

2012-01-14T22:16:00.001+11:00

I was extremely amazed this morning when I hoped on the scales. I hoped on to see how much more I needed to lose this week to get to my goal of 85 for this Friday coming and to my surprise I was 84.4! I was so happy by this I thought I would share it with you.

Since starting this whole at the beginning of October I have lost 7kgs which I am really happy about because that means I'm 1/3 of the way to my target weight and this latest accomplishment has made me hopeful that I can get another 1/3 done by my birthday next month bring me to 77kgs.

Wish me luck :) and hopefully you are all sticking to your new years resolutions.

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Almost to the first goal post.

2012-01-08T23:07:00.001+11:00

I was weighed and measured on Friday an would like to say I've lost 1cm off both my hips and waist and lost 1kg in two weeks which I am sort of happy with. Next week I plan to put the exercise up a bit and aim for 1kg a week for a few months.

How are you going with your new year resolution?

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:)

2012-01-02T23:04:00.001+11:00

I am currently extremely happy. Lostintransmission.xx

Gays. Muslims. Blondes. Asians.

2012-01-01T19:51:00.001+11:00

Each and everyone of those so called names made you automatically think of a stereotype. You can lie and say it didn't but by this point you would have some sort of image in your head; I know I do. Now this isn't to make you, myself or anyone else in this world feel better or worse about themselves it's something that just kind of clicked as I was scrolling through tumblr. As I was doing said task I came across a few posts. One of which presented the image of the Twin Towers before they were destroyed saying that they would still be here if it wasn't for Muslims but following this there was an extremely long list of things that the world would not have at this current point in time without Muslims and it really got me thinking about how wrong it can be to be judgmental; especially if you don't have the faintest idea about a person, race, religion, society, community or really anything that can be judged. Don't get me wrong I'm not about to go an preach to you because everyone is invited to have their own opinions and morals and I know myself well enough to know that I have judged people before getting to know them, heck I've even judged my best friend on some of her actions and we've known each other for over seven years. Maybe society is taking some things a little too far, I could sit here all day and whinge about how f$%ked society really is but all I really want is for people to stop and think before they do or say things that could not only hurt the person that you are saying it to but could have an impact on something major like a religion from the tumblr post before the list was added afterwards. I might only be one person, but if enough of us help to stop judgement and stereotyping maybe another evil in this world could be defeated. Lostintransmission.xx

Happy new year

2011-12-31T18:51:00.001+11:00

Every one have a great last day of 2011 party hard and safely.

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New Years Resolution

2011-12-29T22:26:00.000+11:00

Yes I know it's all half BS and majority of people say it every year and never actually go through with it but I've decided I want to lose some weight. I know that I ma unhealthy, over weight and not properly looking after myself so this isn't really a get slim and be happy kind of thing it is more of be more healthy and have a better chance of not dying of some really random and retarded disease that I could easily prevent by getting healthy.

These are the current facts (I will give progress around the 20th of each month as that is when I get weighed and measured at the gym.)

From what I remember from last time:

Height - 168cm

Weight - 87

Waist - 88

Arm - 32

Hips + bust - (Can't remember)

My goals:

Weight - 70

Waist - 72

The rest I don't really know what the healthy sizes are so I'm leaving them out. I guess that's my goal for next year. For those of you who may have been in the situation of having the same goals of current self do not worry, I'm not going to be one of those people that believes that a life style change like this can happen over night or even within a matter of weeks/months and it will be a slow progression and hopefully this time next year I will be where I want to be.

What are your goals/resolutions?

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Addiction?

2011-12-29T10:56:00.001+11:00

I think I've got some serious addiction issues. . .

Within a matter of days I have become addicted to tumblr. I don't know if it's just me or does everyone else that's joined have the same problem? Seriously it's rather scary. . .

But yeah if you'd like to follow me my thing is

-lostintransmission

I don't know what goes on the end but yes the - is meant to be at the front. That's all for now.

Lostintransmission.xx

Just a thought

2011-12-27T16:16:00.001+11:00

Remember to some body you are beautiful. . .

I somewhat love her hair!

2011-12-23T11:06:00.001+11:00

So I was stalking on lookbook.nu and I came across this lovely lady and I was like ZOMG her hair is awesome and thought I should share it with all of you. Go do some stalking :p

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Santa notices me, why don't you?

2011-12-23T10:41:00.000+11:00

Alright, so thisn't going to be some rant about a guy so relax your sacks.

I feel like I'm somewhat wasting my time on this whole thing for two reasons:

1. I have two followers. . . Both of which are good friends of mine and only followed me because I begged them to which is kind of sad.

2. I don't feel like I have a purpose. . . You know I could be one of those people that go on and on about how gawd damn boring their life is but that just seems like a bigger waste of time. Erk. I just don't know. . .

Some advice on how to get more followers or what I should talk about would be nice.

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Reasons to get up in the morning.

2011-12-22T17:42:00.001+11:00

Alright, I was blog stalking and came across this: Sometimes it can be very difficult to get up, out of a cozy bed and wake from a comfortable sleep where anything is possible, and into the mundane every day lifestyle that so many people complain about. Trust me, I know...

But here are some reasons that make me get out of bed happily!

You can't find out the weather without getting out of bed.

You might miss out on something huge and exciting.

You can't make life better from the comfort of your bed.

You ruin all chance of stumbling across the answers to your problems.

You can't receive any compliments.

You'll forget any special ideas before it comes to sharing them.

And most of all, a day counts when it comes to our short lifespan.

Thought some of you may enjoy it.

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Caught in the middle

2011-12-20T20:13:00.001+11:00

So I've got this friend she's basically my best friend we've been like apple pie and cream since we were little but she's having some problems. She's been going out with this guy for a couple of months now by they were really good friends for about three years before that and what's happened is she's realized that they have no possible future so she's tried to break things off with him and I've somehow become caught in the middle because over the years I've kind of become his friend as well and right now I don't know what to do. I know I should be supportive of her discussions because it's her life but I know she's happy with him but she doesn't want to spend time with someone if it's going no where (who wants that?) and well he's asking me what to do and she's confused and it's like what do I do? This isn't my mess I just want the both of them to be happy.

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So you are in a failed relationship

2011-12-10T18:21:00.001+11:00

Okay there is thus guy who I've got on Facebook and he just goes from one fucked up relationship to the next and the thing is most of the time they don't last more then two months but at the end of them he always spends a week bitching on Facebook about it and going on how he's going to drink himself to death and it's like well why don't you just go out with girls who aren't going to turn out to be complete whores? Seriously, idiots these days they do my head in.

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University?

2011-11-24T23:00:00.001+11:00

I'm going to start this off with the title of a fb group I saw 'In every circle of friends there is one person who can answer every question you throw at them.' As I read this I thought to myself that's kind of me, I'm the type of person where if you ask me something I will have some sort of answer for it all the time even if it isn't right. Except this one question 'Which university should I go to?'

This question is kill me. Deep down I want to go to Notre Dame, it just seems so amazing. It might be a small university but everything they seem to offer out does the rest, I guess that's why I wanted early entry so I knew I'd have a place there.

You see as much as I want to go to Notre Dame I've always wanted to wind up at USYD (university of Sydney.) I guess this is because everyone deep down inside themselves wants to go there, like who wouldn't, it's the most well known university's in Australia and offers so much, but it's not where my heart really lies.

My final real place of interest would be ACU (Australian Catholic University) this place because it has the most renown teaching courses in NSW (I want to do teaching.) The problem is that the course is the only thing drawing me to the university, and I don't want to be at a university where I dislike everything else besides the course.

I know that it shouldn't matter where I end up because at the end of the day I know where I want to end up and I know what I have to do to achieve it. I guess I just want the most out of the next four years of my life because as everyone says they're the best years of your life.

I guess I just have to wait another three weeks for my marks.

Lostintransmission signing off, xx.

Being a woman

2011-11-20T18:38:00.001+11:00

As I stand here in the kitchen doing the woman thing and cooking ( don't give me any feminism stuff) I think to myself where is the line between stirring the pot and actually bullying someone?

I was out today and a male friend of mine was going on about so hot some girls (who looked 12) arse was. Like don't get me wrong I value the female arse in many forms and accept a comment from a stranger and will listen to a friend like this one go on about an arse but it brings me to a thought of where is the line? Is it age? How fat the commenter is taking it? Or is it fine to just keep going because they are simply interested on the arse?

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A funny thing really.

2011-11-19T23:11:00.001+11:00

I know I just posted a thing but I was looking at my page stats and I found it somewhat interesting that most of my audience (not that it's a big one) is from the complete opposite of the world, seriously. I'm on little old (not really) Australia and all my views are from Europe and Russia and Africa and a few other places and I was thinking how do I even get an audience on those places I don't know anyone outside of Australia that even knows I have this attempt of a blog, well at least I thought it was funny. Lostintransmission.xx

Why is ginger called ginger if it's not really ginger?

2011-11-19T23:02:00.000+11:00

That one has got you thinking, hasn't it?

Okay so my dilemma of the day. I seem to be having a few of these recently. The whole boyfriend and mother thing, I've gotten the reasoning behind the whole father boyfriend junk but the mother boyfriend thing is a whole new playing field.

I've learnt that different people want different things to happen in your life because it's either going to impact on their lives or it's going to set you up for something positive in the future but what happens when what they want isn't what you want? I've just reached that stage.

I'm the kind of person that will spend as much effort possible on trying to keep other people even if it means I might end up in a place (both mentally and/or psychically) that I might not want to be in. The thing lately is that trying to keep l these people happy has become a nightmare especially between my boyfriend and my mother. I know they both want the best for me but the thing is I don't know if what they want is what I want anymore.

I'm not going to give which one wants what but one wants me to just go out their and experience everything I possibly could and the other just wants me to take it slowly and trend carefully. My problem isn't that I have to choose between the both of them because that's not even possible it's my mother and the guy ice spent three years with they are both equally important to me. It's that they feel as if they get to make my decisions for me and if I go against one I get shit feed to me about it.

I just want to be left to feel happy with my decisions and not as if I have to please everyone else. I mean it is my life but sometimes it feels like no one e even listens to me.

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