My Own Thoughts

A List of A Few Things Mr Metro

2010-04-20T10:05:00.000-07:00

Please read the list if you are an inconsiderate METRO rider...

~My foot is not the rest for your luggage...
~Takoma METRO Station elevator is not a toilet, please behave accordingly...
~If the train car appears to be crowded, please do not assume there is room for one more person - you...
~If you are tall, please hold the rails on the ceiling of the train not the side rails, where shorter people can reach and hold on not fall like the old lady did because your ignorant, inconciderate and inept behind wanted to stand in the middle of the car...
~If you ride during rush hour and you have loads of children, please hold thier hands so they do not get lost in the crowd of people then proceed to scream at the top of their lungs because they are scared and lost, its not cute Mama...
~If you have a body odor, please do not attempt to cover it up with an entire bottle Nautica Cologne and make everyone's eyes water in the train because you stink!...

Your PROMPT attention is appreciated!

Are you connected?

2010-04-08T12:13:00.001-07:00

This weekend I spent three days with some phenomenal women which helped to put things into perspective. I am a member of Gamma Gamma Chi Sorority Inc, which is a group of women that strive for the pleasure of Allah(swt) through sisterhood, scholarship, leadership and community service...Which means to me- do everything in life with that purpose. I socialize with them, work in the community with them and collaborate with them during my usual day to day life. This sorority has been one of the best things that I could been blessed with. I have found some women in which I can grow and develop with.

So, during this weekend I reconnected with friends that I have not seen in years and some friends that I only see during this conference. I truly enjoyed myself as I do always. We sat, laughed, shopped and enjoyed the time together. I was reminded by "Ummie" that we as young people do not rely on our elders in the community for anything...Not for advice, not for help, not for anything. So I ask, are you using your community connections, I know I am not using all of mine...BUT I WILL! Will I be calling you?!?!

Are you connected?

2010-04-08T12:13:00.000-07:00

Sankofa

2009-12-29T11:05:00.000-08:00

It is so close to 2010 that I can smell it. My husband and I were discussing future goals and attempting to get ready for the new year. My mother told me that whatever you do on New Year's Day you will do for the rest of the year...Well, I am getting busy and focusing on Sankofa. Sankofa which is an Adinkra symbol meaning "Return and Get It". The meaning is special to me because of one lady that I know who taught this principle at Friendly High School where I served a sentence as a high-school art teacher for 6 1/2 years(which incidentally made me quit teaching all together). Anyone who knows me well knows that I am not the sentimental type but this image has been popping up in my head lately and I am in need of going back and regrouping from the successful leaders from the past...So in 2010 I am reinventing, remolding and restructuring myself. Anyone else down?

More for the Metro

2009-12-17T07:22:00.000-08:00

Recently, stupid people have been overflowing the metro with their extreme dumbness. When the chimes ring...and the lady says doors closing...that does not mean to run and squeeze your fat keister into the door... I have personally witness in the last week 7 people doing this. Now, metro riders- we do know that if the doors get jammed because your stupid tail squeezes in or the doors can't close because your body was the one that made the train overflow- WE ALL GET TO BE LATE TO WORK BECAUSE THEY OFFLOAD THE ENTIRE TRAIN. Offloading for those who do not know, takes 10 minutes. First they make you get off, then they walk the entire train to be sure no one else is on, then we get to stand out in the cold and wait for the next over-crowed train to come and do this dance all over again.

Now for the Funny-
This morning, at Union Station, this STUPID OVER 40 FAT WOMAN- (YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE) squeezes on to the train and pushes everyone who is standing forward. There was a woman who almost fell in the process. Miss FAT over 40, then says "Everyone needs to suck it in because I am pressed against the cold door." You know me, I said to her-"Maybe we have 1 too many people on this car." The train car was immediately in an uproar of laughter, as this woman give me the evil eye. She must not know that all Hijab wearing Muslimah's have not always been the pious looking Muslimah's and I was raised in the city of cuss you out on demand. She continued her evil stares until I said to her "Honey, Do NOT let this scarf fool you." With my DC "GRIT STARE" and eye roll. I know, I should be sorry, but as Steve Harvey says" He ain't through with me yet" I wonder if the people who push the folks on the trains in Japan get the evil eye from the squashed passengers?

And you call yourself a Christian, WWJD Then?

2009-09-16T07:39:00.000-07:00

I am over the "I'm a Christian" as a response from someone who is getting confronted because they are wrong. If you are such a good "Christian" then learn your book and find out what it says about your behavior-about causing problems for others, about holding grudges, about being spiteful and vindictive, about encouraging people to do things that are not pleasing...

If you are such a "Christian" it would show and not need to be said in defense. At the end of the day if there are issues all around you, you are the common denominator and maybe YOU should reevaluate YOURSELF.

I am SICK of the hypocrisy of it all!

Don't accuse me of being week when I stand firm in silence while you make a complete ass of yourself. Don't accuse me of being docile, when in-fact you are doing the same thing that you accuse others of doing. No matter what you tell people, there are three sides to a story and eventually people will learn that the common denominator and antagonizer is you.

So good "Christian" go study your own book and learn what it says about those who create mayhem and mischief- sounds like the work of the adversary, don't be a stupid as to be his vessel of destruction and demise. Learn about forgiveness and how to seek the forgiveness of others. Learn how to be a good example of your faith and learn that your actions will be judged by the best of judges, the one who sees what you do in the dark, the one who knows your intentions no matter what you say-

I fear him and you should too...He is the most merciful and forgiving and also the best judge and vindicator!

When is Ramadan in 2009?

2009-08-20T10:56:00.000-07:00

Note that in the Muslim calander, a holiday begins on the sunset of the previous day, so observing Muslims will celebrate Ramadan on the sunset of Thursday, the 20th of August.

Although Ramadan is always on the same day of the Islamic calendar, the date on the Gregorian calendar varies from year to year, since the Gregorian calendar is a solar calendar and the Islamic calendar is a lunar calendar. This difference means Ramadan moves in the Gregorian calendar approximately 11 days every year. The date of Ramadan may also vary from country to country depending on whether the moon has been sighted or not.

The dates provided here are based on the dates adopted by the Fiqh Council of North America for the celebration of Ramadan. Note that these dates are based on astronomical calculations to affirm each date, and not on the actual sighting of the moon with the naked eyes. This approach is accepted by many, but is still being hotly debated.

The Bennifit of a good Halaqah

2009-07-27T12:05:00.000-07:00

Saturday, the Beta Chapter hosted a halaqah at Masjid Muhammad. It was a wonderful experience. Brother Muhammad Sideeq presented the talk. I am sharing what we discussed.

Topic: The Ease of Islam

Allah created the trees to do what they do. They root themselves in the ground, grow fruit and leaves, shed leaves in the fall and sway in the wind. That is the character of the tree. The tree does what it is designed to do and has no choice in the matter. When Allah created humans, we were given the choice to move and do as we see fit. Allah created everything in balance and proportion. Man was created to serve Allah, and when we fight what Allah creates for us that is where we see the difficulty with living.

Arabic Vocabulary Words-

Yaasurah- easy , lenient, prosperous, facilitate, gentle, multiply

Issurah- burden

Ahad- One Wahad- One, only used when referring Allah

Samad- Absolute

When given a choice between something difficult and something easy The Prophet (salahi wa alaihi was salaam)chose the easy way. There is nothing wrong with keeping the deen simple. The Prophet Muhammad (salahi wa alaihi was salaam) was soft hearten, and as a result Islam spread by guidance and the good character of Muslims.

In Sahih Bukhari
Narrated Anas bin Malik:
A Bedouin came and passed urine in one corner of the mosque. The people shouted at him but the Prophet stopped them till he finished urinating. The Prophet ordered them to spill a bucket of water over that place and they did so.

The brothers that witnessed this event wanted to go fist to cuff with this brother but the Prophet(salahi wa alaihi was salaam) instructed them to cover it, and then teach the brother that this was not something correct to do. If the brothers were allowed to do what they wanted to do this man would have never become Muslim.

Here is some simple things...

There is only ONE (1) God-

He is one, Ahad/Wahad/Samad

Man lives a life of struggle but believers find the struggles as a test. Look at our lives compared to the lives of the Prophet (salahi wa alaihi was salaam) and his companions. The Prophet (salahi wa alaihi was salaam) and his companions had to walk and ride camels to get to where they were going. They went miles at a time, walking and riding. We can simply hop on a bus or get in our cars.

When you over indulge one appetites the other appetites grow out of proportion and balance.

Ground yourself in the deen. Allah's creations find ease when the submit to the will of Allah.

We read the follow Surah's and Ayats

سورة الأعلى Sura #87 Al-Ala

1 Glorify the name of thy Guardian-Lord Most High,
2 Who hath created, and further, given order and proportion;
3 Who hath ordained laws. And granted guidance;
4 And Who bringeth out the (green and luscious) pasture,
5 And then doth make it (but) swarthy stubble.
6 By degrees shall We teach thee to declare (the Message), so thou shalt not forget,
7 Except as Allah wills: For He knoweth what is manifest and what is hidden.
8 And We will make it easy for thee (to follow) the simple (Path).
9 Therefore give admonition in case the admonition profits (the he"

10 The admonition will be received by those who fear ((Allah)):
11 But it will be avoided by those most unfortunate ones,
12 Who will enter the Great Fire,
13 In which they will then neither die nor live.
14 But those will prosper who purify themselves,
15 And glorify the name of their Guardian-Lord, and (lift their hearts) in prayer.
16 Nay (behold), ye prefer the life of this world;
17 But the Hereafter is better and more enduring.
18 And this is in the Books of the earliest (Revelation),-
19 The Books of Abraham and Moses.

Ash-Shams Sura #91سورة الشمس

1 By the Sun and his (glorious) splendour;
2 By the Moon as she follows him;
3 By the Day as it shows up (the Sun's) glory;
4 By the Night as it conceals it;
5 By the Firmament and its (wonderful) structure;
6 By the Earth and its (wide) expanse:
7 By the Soul, and the proportion and order given to it;
8 And its enlightenment as to its wrong and its right;-
9 Truly he succeeds that purifies it,
10 And he fails that corrupts it!
11 The Thamud (people) rejected (their prophet) through their inordinate wrong-doing,
12 Behold, the most wicked man among them was deputed (for impiety).
13 But the Messenger of Allah said to them: 'It is a She-camel of Allah. And (bar her not from) having her drink!'"

14 Then they rejected him (as a false prophet), and they hamstrung her. So their Lord, on account of their crime, obliterated their traces and made them equal (in destruction, high and low)!

15 And for Him is no fear of its consequences."

سورة الأعراف Sura #7 Al-Araf
42 But those who believe and work righteousness,- no burden do We place on any soul, but that which it can bear,- they will be Companions of the Garden, therein to dwell (for ever).
43 And We shall remove from their hearts any lurking sense of injury;- beneath them will be rivers flowing;- and they shall say: 'Praise be to Allah, who hath guided us to this (felicity): never could we have found guidance, had it not been for the guidance of Allah. indeed it was the truth, that the apostles of our Lord brought unto us.' And they shall hear the cry: 'Behold! the garden before you! Ye have been made its inheritors, for your deeds (of righteousness).'"

157

"Those who follow the apostle, the unlettered Prophet, whom they find mentioned in their own (scriptures),- in the law and the Gospel;- for he commands them what is just and forbids them what is evil; he allows them as lawful what is good (and pure) and prohibits them from what is bad (and impure); He releases them from their heavy burdens and from the yokes that are upon them. So it is those who believe in him, honour him, help him, and follow the light which is sent down with him,- it is they who will prosper."

سورة الحديد Sura #57 Al-Hadid

Then, in their wake, We followed them up with (others of) Our apostles: We sent after them Jesus the son of Mary, and bestowed on him the Gospel; and We ordained in the hearts of those who followed him Compassion and Mercy. But the Monasticism which they invented for themselves, We did not prescribe for them: (We commanded) only the seeking for the Good Pleasure of Allah. but that they did not foster as they should have done. Yet We bestowed, on those among them who believed, their (due) reward, but many of them are rebellious transgressors.

سورة الليل Sura #92 Al-Lail

1 By the Night as it conceals (the light);
2 By the Day as it appears in glory;
3 By (the mystery of) the creation of male and female;-
4 Verily, (the ends) ye strive for are diverse.
5 So he who gives (in charity) and fears ((Allah)),
6 And (in all sincerity) testifies to the best,-
7 We will indeed make smooth for him the path to Bliss.
8 But he who is a greedy miser and thinks himself self-sufficient,
9 And gives the lie to the best,-
10 We will indeed make smooth for him the path to Misery;
11 Nor will his wealth profit him when he falls headlong (into the Pit).
12 Verily We take upon Ourselves to guide,
13 And verily unto Us (belong) the End and the Beginning.
14 Therefore do I warn you of a Fire blazing fiercely;
15 None shall reach it but those most unfortunate ones
16 Who give the lie to Truth and turn their backs.
17 But those most devoted to Allah shall be removed far from it,-
18 Those who spend their wealth for increase in self-purification,
19 And have in their minds no favour from anyone for which a reward is expected in return,
20 But only the desire to seek for the Countenance of their"
Lord Most High;
21 And soon will they attain (complete) satisfaction.

سورة الضحى Sura #93 Ad-Dhuha

1 By the Glorious Morning Light,
2 And by the Night when it is still,-
3 Thy Guardian-Lord hath not forsaken thee, nor is He displeased.
4 And verily the Hereafter will be better for thee than the present.
5 And soon will thy Guardian-Lord give thee (that wherewith) thou shalt be well-pleased.
6 Did He not find thee an orphan and give thee shelter (and care)?
7 And He found thee wandering, and He gave thee guidance.
8 And He found thee in need, and made thee independent.
9 Therefore, treat not the orphan with harshness,
10 Nor repulse the petitioner (unheard);
11 But the bounty of the Lord - rehearse and proclaim!"

سورة الشرح Sura #94 Al-Inshirah

1 Have We not expanded thee thy breast?-
2 And removed from thee thy burden
3 The which did gall thy back?-
4 And raised high the esteem (in which) thou (art held)?
5 So, verily, with every difficulty, there is relief:
6 Verily, with every difficulty there is relief.
7 Therefore, when thou art free (from thine immediate task), still labour hard,
8 And to thy Lord turn (all) thy attention."

You never know...

2009-06-17T09:41:00.000-07:00

You never know who you will meet. The other day I took the bust to Georgetown to meet some friends. I saw a lady who sat across from me and she was staring...so I was a little irritated. Then the lady asked me where I got my hijab. I guess I had a strange look because she then informed me that she was in the process of reverting to Islam and needed to get hijabs that were nice so she could wear them to work. So what do you say to that? I gave her my card and wrote Sister Jennah's website on the back. Then I shared my reversion story and told her to call me whenever she wanted to chat or have a jummah prayer buddy.

Who'd a thunk it...You never know when your smile might be encouragement for a new Muslim or an invitation to the deen...

Relections in A Minor

2009-06-03T11:49:00.000-07:00

So...with my schedule so hectic I never find the time to really get into a quality blog cycle, LOL, But here goes my attempt. Lately I have been rather melancholy and I think it is due to me getting to be older and wiser or, I am slowly dying from "the lack of sleep" disease since school started. I was watching "August Rush" today and yesterday I watched "The Happening". They were both excellent thought provoking movies. It is amazing how we human beings are so self-centered and are very rarely humbled by the unexplained phenomenon of life. Not many people think the unexplained is an act of mercy from the higher power, and I am curious to know why?

God created us to serve and worship him. I believe part of that worship is to take care of his creations, all of them. I can be very crude, harsh and direct sometimes but I have never willingly taken advantage of someone or been a blatant destroyer of things. In "The Happening" the common theme was to take care of the earth or it will destroy you. In "August Rush" the common theme was to have faith and all things will fall in place. Here is my question. Where are all of these feel good people and why don't I encounter them very often?

Daily I am encountered by people who's favorite topic is themselves. I am not that interested in them so why am I forced to discuss you and your issues- ALL THE TIME. I have things I like to discuss, mostly not about myself. I enjoy an occasional genuine, what are you feeling conversation.

The entire theme of energy in "The Happening" is so deep(seriously). I can be in a wonderful mood and someone with nasty energy can come in and it takes me a good 10 minutes to shake that bad vibration. I am currently in an industry that will not allow me to have negative thoughts while I am working on clients. I think that is why they like my services. I think that since I am thinking of positive thoughts and feelings I am passing along these vibes to my clients and I like the way we both feel in the end.

Maybe, someone else needs to rent those movies and tell me if I am crazy for feeling personally effected by them.

Do people really think they can say anything to others....Really?!?!?!?

2009-04-23T06:16:00.000-07:00

So....I have been incognito due to school...work...and other family issues that really should put me on one those moods that I would feel compelled to share my misery around the world. Over the last 2 weeks I have noticed all types of shenanigans going on in my environment, almost like Shayton (Then Devil) is attempting to trap me into some corner so I can come out swinging. I have chosen to take the high road, however my patience has run thin. Lets begin with these strange antics...

***Someone stole my son's torn, ripped and basically destroyed Spiderman Bookbag from school ( I am not paranoid, it was stolen because all of his things were thrown in the bottom of the cubby)... So my mother (The devout Catholic who sprays random people in the face with holy water while cursing) goes in to the school and performs and all I said was, "Maybe the other person needed that bag more than he did.." She shot me a look and then I knew just to keep my opinion to myself. He got another bookbag on Monday and she makes sure it comes home every day.

***On the way into the driveway one weekend afternoon, I pulled my car over, with my right turn signal on and then followed that signal with blinkers. This crazy white woman in this hillbilly pick-up was right on my tail and almost hit me in the back, which automatically makes HER wrong...so she drives around me after laying on her horn and then gives ME the finger...So the entire time I am like, what just happened here and how did I deserve that? I guess I would have been wrong if I decided to follow her down the street and return the favor...so I took the high road.

***Yesterday, after our class plans for the day had been turned upside down by some of the other instructors we were cleaning up the classroom. One of my class mates starts saying, "I don't have time to clean up I need to go home to my child" (This girl came into class with an attitude...) So the other classmates chime in on how they have this and that... and I am sitting there thinking...these chain of events is getting old and I am getting irritated by selfish people who are self centered, rude and childish. I started to think about the fact that I have not spent a night alone with my husband in months, my son is acting out in school because he refuses to go to bed before I get home, I have a mother with cancer who helps me but I think at the end of the day I her more, I have to figure out how to pay my bills and help with my families bills on a part-time salary, I do not think I have slept a full 6 hours since the start of 2009...I can go on and on.... So I say "We are all stressed, we need the upcoming break to regroup." Then this Woman in Child's behavior says "Nothing ever bothers you, you must not have any feelings."

SO...My face frowned, and my mind was saying remember that you said this year you would attempt to do a better job of thinking through what you say... So I said "No, things bother me, I just know that if I moan and groan it doesn't help, I have other things that I need to do with my time and I put on my BIG GIRL DRAWS on and get busy...So maybe you should change OUT OF YOUR DORA PULL UP and stop crying all the damn time and maybe you will be blessed with some reprieve...and you should really mind what you say to people because maybe you will prove how simple minded and selfish you are instead of them assuming that is the way you are...."

It felt good even if it may have been wrong to say...however it was needed...

I spent the morning watching rude people on the metro. Is this what this world is coming to...people who travel in their own worlds who do not realize that we are all connected and a few moments of common courtesy and human decency would take you farther than your behavior right now. I am so moving to my private island sooner than later....

Ok, I am claiming temporary insanity...Does that give me the right to say what I want?

2009-03-05T05:58:00.000-08:00

Over the last few days, I have been irritated because I have had to stifle myself..But yesterday I think Allah blessed me to have a series of events that took place over the day that had me saying to myself "Welcome Back Sister Girl-I have missed you!!!" So sit back and enjoy the series of ridiculous events.

Event 1- So...I was riding the Metro, it was cold as a polar bear's tail(*word substitution*) and crowded. I had to stand for the duration of the ride. I get on 4 stops from the beginning of the line and by the time we got to downtown D.C. the train was pulsating with the crowd of people that had stuffed themselves on this one train like it was the last to come before the end of the world. There were many very nicely dressed professionals in their designer best acting like children in Headstart... pushing, shoving, complaining, and acting simply retarded. I finally get to my stop and the doors open and to my dismay people began to attempt to board the already crowded train while we were trying to get off. Then there was a slight break in the pushing and shoving...and I was wondering what the hold up was..then I saw. An older lady had fallen outside of the train doors and people were stumbling as they steped over and on her as they went on their way...Something in my head snapped and then I said..."Hold it a minute, you people act like farm animals!"..and I helped the lady up, mind you her beautiful winter white coat was saturated with footprints and smudged stains. Only then did some of these selfish people act like they had a bit of concern.

Event 2- So at dinner time I decided I wanted to go to get a burrito bowl. As I waited to order, I noticed a lady in there...clearly homeless and hungry with another well dressed woman. Everything the well dressed woman ordered the homeless woman ordered the same thing. As we got ready to pay, she had a side order of rice and beans, chips and salsa, her burrito with extra everything, an Izzie soda, a large bottle of water and a cup of ice. I watched the well dressed woman pull out her American Express Card and pay for the meal. My class mate and I saw the pair again at the back of the resturant where the well dressed woman asked the homeless woman, "Did you get everything you needed for your meal?" and the other woman responded "You know what, I want some white rice from the chinese store down the street..." The nice lady said back, "I do not have any cash, you have rice with your dinner from here, don't you remember?" Then the exchange went on back and forth for a few minutes and then the nice lady said to the homeless woman, "I am sorry you are not happy with your meal, I do not have anymore money. You should sit down inside the resturant and eat so you can stay warm. It's cold out tonight" THIS UNGRATEFUL NASTY WOMAN SAYS BACK, "Don't tell me what to do, you bought me dinner and thats all..." I was PISSED OFF as I heard this conversation. As we all walked out together, the nice lady was clearly upset about the entire event. I said to her, "That was very nice, and it was clear you were not doing a good thing for public recognition. Even if she is not happy with her meal, you have added a good deed to your life and God always remembers when his servants give of what they have." She smiled and said thank you and went on down the street... People who are truly hungry would kill for a customized fresh hot meal, not complain...

Bottom line I learned my lesson---Say what you think...immediatly, especially when you are watching people act like colons.

More to come-

Listening to Your Breathing

2009-03-04T09:24:00.000-08:00

It seems like I am full of words of wisdom when the "Poop" hits the fan- (substitution for a more colorful phrase). I am continuing to reflect on my choices and what I am doing in my life right now that is effecting an outcome of some sort. It is amazingly easy to say "Give in and let GOD do his work"...but the actual action is a hard thing to do. I have come to the section of my journey where I must really look to Allah for guidance and acceptance.

My instincts right now are telling me to go back home and get in the bed and try it again another day, but I have to stretch myself past that and move on, get up get out and do something. Nothing seems to come easy to me, and the things I plan always fail if I do not have the proper perspective and guidance. I have know for years that in order to make a wise decision you need to make isthakar (prayer asking for direction). I can honestly say, I have not done that in years. I have been writing my own script without the directors blessings and it is now starting set a series of events to come to clean up my mess.

It is amazing how much Allah loves us and how much he cleans our messes and forces us to do whatever it is that we need to do to grow and change. As I make more lemonaide out of my lemons I can really appreciate and hear part of the message. I think the message is to be still and breathe in the sites, use the gifts that Allah has given me and be still. Shut my mouth and listen to the sound of my breathing and the sounds around me. But here is the tip...How do you become still? I have thoughts racing and plans being planned in my mind as I sleep, day dream and even when I am really not trying to- You know what they say "You are not crazy if you talk to yourself, you are only crazy when you answer too..." So I am shutting my mouth...

It is amazing what the mind has to say when you actually listen...so I am listening to the sound of my breathing.

Random Thoughts

2009-03-03T09:12:00.000-08:00

As I sit at my desk and contemplate the way my life is evolving and revolving, I reflect on all the things I thought I would be doing at 31- and it was NOT THIS! Where did the turn happen? I am currently listening to one of my favorite songs from the 80's. I remember one day I waited on the phone with WPGC 95.5 to request that Al B. D play Girlfriend by Peebles, I was a pre-teen at the time (I am dating myself).

Here is what I envisioned my life to look like...I was going to be a famous artist of some sort, painting and drawing to my heart's content. I was going to look fabulous in my designer clothes and I would be living in my fancy loft style apartment. Instead, I am a mother of 2 small children, now a student again, living at home with my parents and my family because my mother has cancer, and a wife of a husband who is clearly unhappy with the entire situation. This is so not the Sex in the City Lifestyle I had planned.

But, I am not the planner. Allah ta ala is the best of planners and what he plans for me I will accept, even if I grumble a little, I am only human. I do what I am supposed to do, I got married, had children, raise them with morals and values, work hard and earn what I have, but there is always more month than money. I look at what others have and I think how easy it was for them to have what I should have. My kids deserve to live in a spacious home with their family, I deserve to have a safe and new car, my kids deserve to go to the best schools, I deserve to have the best of whatever. But then I remember that when you are on the straight path, that is when things are thrown in your way. When you are on the path to dispare on your own it is a very easy road.

Please do not get me wrong, I am not misrable but I am thinking of what I wanted before I had children, a family and responsibilities. It is amazing to see how I have changed directions over the years. I have not given up my dreams and asperations, I have just changed directions and fine tuned dreams. I am a realist, and it is hard for me to dream and desire things that are far from reality, but I am working on it.

When I change perspectives my life seems to be a little different...I have a car that is paid for and works fine, I am able to take care of my parents the way they took care of me, my children are growing up truly knowing and learning from their grandparents, when the world is cold outside my famliy is at home together to warm each other. I am able to go back to school and work on things with my families support. Yeah we could have more but when you think about it...It is not so bad afterall. I would like to have a better car, LOL.

I know there is a lesson in this, and I am really attempting to get the lesson to learn from it...I just wish the school bell would ring and I could move on to bigger and better things. I guess I am ungreatful for what I have...

You can do it, I only have a Bachlors Degree in art so I do not know anything....

2009-02-25T08:34:00.001-08:00

So, my mother's church wants me to do a project for them( of course NON paying project) and I was to meet with the coordinator before class yesterday. I scheduled and set the meeting with "Lady X" and "Father Y" and we met briefly about the project. "Lady X" is an over-zealous know it control freak and "Father Y" is a very nice Priest at the un-named church. They want to put together several projects and document them in a brochure and press kit so they can increase membership and gain attention from the Archdiacies of D.C. So we are there discussing the project, getting an Idea of how things should be done, and I am doing some mock-ups on the laptop using Adobe Illustrator( a professional graphics program). So I swing around my thoughts and she then says "Well, I had visioned something else" and she pulls out these drawings on lined paper that she did with her daughter's crayolas.

I am clearly a hijab wearing Muslimah, sitting with a very nice Priest with whom I could see me befriending. He and I exchange looks as she unveils her masterpiece which gives a child's drawing a bad name. I listen, and explain why it is not a professional look to do a brochure in the paint program that comes free on your basic computer. We get into a very heated dialog and then she says very coldly, "Well I think I wil do it myself and I am sure I will get a better product".

I am sorry, but sister-girl needed to get it- I said, "That is fine, you can do whatever you want. It is clearly the diseasion of the church and it's members. I am sure the church would like to have a professional looking product, and if you think you can deliver that over me than I am woman enough to step back and let you handle it. I only have had 14plus years training and experiance. I only have a Bachlors of Fine Arts degree and work experiance at The National Archives, doing a project very simular to this one that is still being used and duplucated today. I am sure you are better skilled with your crayola special on lined paper than I. So I will not waste your time with my trivial ideas. Please excuse me Father, but I am not about to sit here and be insulted by Ms Kindergarden Art when I have other things to do. Good day and my best regards for your upcoming project."

Why do people think that if they are crafty at scrapbooking and knitting they can do art. Art is not that easy, it takes years of study and practice to be able to do things on purpose. There is more to it than microsoft clip art. I guess people who go to school for art have a degree equvialent to basket weaving. I guess I wasted my life learnig the methods and proper design concepts. Why do people think that they can watch some online tutorials and call themselves whatever! IT IS THE FAULT OF THAT DAG-ON EXPERT VILLAGE AND YOUTUBE!

I don't think I have ever seen a pissed Priest before but that guy was LIVID and boy I wish I could have been a fly on the wall when he discussed the events of the meeting with the other Priests of said church. Wow! That was something special. She needs to give up her crayola's for lent, LOL. Question- Are Priests supposed to cuss? I thought they took a no cussing vow along with the vow of poverty.

How many times are you gonna...

2009-02-17T11:27:00.000-08:00

OK, here are a few thought...

How many times are you supposed to say Hi to people in one day. At work, while walking through the halls I see the same faces all day long. There is one lady in particular I see at least 6 or 7 times in a day and each time she says "Hi, How are you?"...every time...Now here is what I was thinking. Either, you do not really care how I am , or you have the same question milling around in your head as well. Here is the tip, The first time I see you, say "Hi, How are you?" once, and then subsequent times we pass a smile will do.

How come when someone sends nasty office email they always end it with Thanks! What is the deal with the nice-nasty politeness? Why say -Thanks when you really want to say "Fall off you cushy chair and die." or "Thanks for being an example of someone who is high quality stupid." Personally, when we are having an email war, I'd rather you end the email with a period(.) not a thanks, like I work for you or something. So here is the question, Am I rude for not adding the -Thanks at the end of meaning less emails that do not require such an ending? How many times is the obligatory thanks supposed to be used?

Where are these questions in the office etiquette rule books? Just a few thoughts for the day.

Do I look like a sucker to you?

2009-02-12T07:49:00.000-08:00

I am so sick of the media portraying Muslim women as chumps and suckers. Why do people assume since you took your shahadah that meant you traded your black-woman card for the punk-sucker one? I am so sick of this ignorance, but we are partly to blame

Now these shenanigans are spilling into the schools. My daughter wears her hijab to school 2 or 3 days a week, when she feels like it. ( Which is alhamdull'lah because she is only 7) She loves the deen and is always speaking positivly of islam. She has as schoolmate, who must be the prodigy of some really hateful nasty people. This particular schoolmate always says some not so nice things to my little Muslimah about her headcover and her religion. My daughter is not the only Muslim in her class but the other student is a little african boy who is very sweet and well studied in his deen. He then definded my daughter during aftercare, like he always does-His mother wants to arrange their marriage BUT I am not into that-

So moving forward- This morning when I droped my pooh off to school she says to me "Mommy there is soandso, she is mean and she bosses me around. I don't like her, and she puts her hands on me..." I immedatly went into the procteive mama role, but I remembered what I was told when I was little... "If she puts her hands on you again, you punch her in the mouth and let me worry about getting in trouble, and if I hear about you letting this person touch you and you do not defend yourself, I am going to put my hands on you. We are Muslim, we enjoin what is right and forbid what is wrong. You are NEVER going to be afraid of ANY human being. Allah is the only thing to fear!"

Here is the tip, the media portrays this image of the timid Muslim saying Islam means peace, in a meek tone. They never show the black Muslim saying something like, If you hit me then I will hit you back... I became Muslim in the 10th grade and I was not a punk before the shahada nor will I play the punk role now. When people are allowed to say and do what they want to others they gain their strength from fear. Muslims gain strength and guidance from Allah and Allah alone. He says "BE" and it is- and that is that. We can keep tiptoeing and pussyfooting around the fact that people are saying and doing what they want because they think we are inferior and from some actions of some people, I think some of the Muslims think they are too.

Allah says in Qu'ran:

Al-Baqara (The Cow)

فَهَزَمُوهُم بِإِذْنِ اللّهِ وَقَتَلَ دَاوُدُ جَالُوتَ وَآتَاهُ اللّهُ الْمُلْكَ وَالْحِكْمَةَ وَعَلَّمَهُ مِمَّا يَشَاء وَلَوْلاَ دَفْعُ اللّهِ النَّاسَ بَعْضَهُمْ بِبَعْضٍ لَّفَسَدَتِ الأَرْضُ وَلَـكِنَّ اللّهَ ذُو فَضْلٍ عَلَى الْعَالَمِينَ (2:251)
Baset - Hussari - Minshawi

Fahazamoohum biithni Allahi waqatala dawoodu jaloota waatahu Allahu almulka waalhikmata waAAallamahu mimma yashao walawla dafAAu Allahi alnnasa baAAdahum bibaAAdin lafasadati alardu walakinna Allaha thoo fadlin AAala alAAalameena

Topics discussed in this Verse:
[Allah's attributes:full of bounty] [Allah's Bounty] [Allah's signs] [Children of Israel] [David:given power and wisdom] [David:slays Goliath] [Earth:mischief (corruption) in] [Goliath]

2:251 (Asad) And thereupon, by God's leave, they routed them. And David slew Goliath; and God bestowed upon him dominion, and wisdom, and imparted to him the knowledge of whatever He willed. And if God had not enabled people to defend themselves against one another, ^[242] corruption would surely overwhelm the earth: but God is limitless in His bounty unto all the worlds.

Al-Imran (The Family of Imran)

وَلْيَعْلَمَ الَّذِينَ نَافَقُواْ وَقِيلَ لَهُمْ تَعَالَوْاْ قَاتِلُواْ فِي سَبِيلِ اللّهِ أَوِ ادْفَعُواْ قَالُواْ لَوْ نَعْلَمُ قِتَالاً لاَّتَّبَعْنَاكُمْ هُمْ لِلْكُفْرِ يَوْمَئِذٍ أَقْرَبُ مِنْهُمْ لِلإِيمَانِ يَقُولُونَ بِأَفْوَاهِهِم مَّا لَيْسَ فِي قُلُوبِهِمْ وَاللّهُ أَعْلَمُ بِمَا يَكْتُمُونَ (3:167)
Baset - Hussari - Minshawi

WaliyaAAlama allatheena nafaqoo waqeela lahum taAAalaw qatiloo fee sabeeli Allahi awi idfaAAoo qaloo law naAAlamu qitalan laittabaAAnakum hum lilkufri yawmaithin aqrabu minhum lileemani yaqooloona biafwahihim ma laysa fee quloobihim waAllahu aAAlamu bima yaktumoona

3:167 (Asad) and mark out those who were tainted with hypocrisy and, when they were told, "Come, fight in God's cause" - or, "defend yourselves" ^[128] - answered, "If we but knew [that it would come to a] fight, we would indeed follow you." Unto apostasy were they nearer on that day than unto faith, uttering with their mouths something which was not in their hearts, ^[129] the while God knew fully well what they were trying to conceal:

Where in these verses does it say anything about let people beat on you, spit on you, talk bad about your religion to you, talk about how your mother must be ugly cause she wears all that stuff. We are African-Americans, who are stronger than we are? We were raped, beaten, abused and broken for centuries but we are still here and we are thriving. We come from greatness and we are great. We are also Muslims and a Muslim strives for the pleasure of Allah in all he/she does, and Allah is pleased when we are doing what he loves, spreading the deen al-haqq.

My little Muslimah is a warrior in the cause of Allah and she tells everyone she meets about Islam and how we are Muslims and a Muslim prays 5 times a day and Muslimah cover so that her beauty is saved for her Husband and family. She says that there is no such thing and boyfriend and girlfriend in Islam, Muslims get married. She says the a Muslimah should recyle
and leave a place better than she found it. She says that she is greatful for her parents who taught her about her religon.

Yeah, I had to get some Ayats in...

Something Under My Skin

2009-02-05T07:21:00.000-08:00

So-

My "best-est" friend and I were having a discussion about Islam and Women. Here is some background information. My husband and I have been married for 8 years. Neither one of us have a wonderful example of marriage to pull from so we have been doing ok. Our standard debate is on duties and responsibilities of the spouses but we got into a conversation about why Muslims especially Muslim men do what they do. Lets break down something-I know some brothers who get "Islamaically Married" only and refuse to do a state marriage license and when they have children they refuse to add their name to the birth certificate because they do not want "The Man" in their business. Guess what brother-If you die suddenly your next of kin could be your mother, your ex-wife or whoever and they may not be Muslim, and they may not respect your wishes to have a janazah in 3 days and buried in a Muslim cemetery. They may just be money hungry and take the cheapest way out to deal with your dead body-cremation (which is so haraam on so many levels). Then look at your dumb behind-or rather your ashes.

Why do some Muslims try to get over so hard? Are you afraid that when you abuse and misuse your state legally married wife she may divorce you, make you pay child support and alimony (what you are supposed to do anyway because it is in the Qu'ran to take care of your children for life and your wife for 1 year)? You are afraid to be held accountable. And what is this business of "I need another wife" The Qu'ran says "One is best for you if you but knew." I am not claiming that all Muslimah's are the best things on the planet, because there are plenty of Muslimah's with their fair share of issues, but I am saying that you should want to be just and correct on all levels.

How come when some Muslim men gets married they think they have a right hand possession? This woman is in your possession and you get to treat her like a child- with this asking permission to do this or that- and asking for this and that. Please. I am an adult, I went to college, I go to work, I take care of mine, I am not asking anyone permission for squat. NO ONE! I will ask your opinion and take that into consideration, but, I am not asking for anything. If I want it I get it, if that means that I have to work overtime, save money, clip coupons, find a babysitter for the kids- I am going to get it, period. I am not going to ask permission to go to New York for the day for business, Go shopping with my money, go out at night to visit friends or to go to get a cup of coffee at 2am if that is what I want. I am an adult, capable of deciding when and if I get married and to whom, why am I asking permission for anything. I guess that is the negro in me but hey- love me or leave me alone. If I have to work to help with the responsibilities of the house then I GET EQUAL SHARE IN THE SAY OF WHAT GOES ON. When I get treated like a princess and can stay home all day and put henna on then I may THINK about asking someone something. Don't get me wrong, I do discuss with my zawj my events but it goes something like "I got invited to do a bridal party in New York, do you want to go? If you don't want to go I will take the train instead of driving." Then he says something like "When are you supposed to be there, I have to check my schedule." Not like "Husband, May I please go to the movies with my girlfriends after I worked and took care of our children and took care of the house."

These are the same reasons that strong women are turned off of the deen because these ignorant, chauvinistic, women-hating brothers walk around town spewing this type of garbage and rhetoric to people so they can feel like "the man in charge." Attitudes like this make it hard on Muslims who strive for the pleasure of Allah in all they do, but are confronted with this kind of stereotypical Muslim self-promoting agenda. You can not imagine how many times I have had the conversations about how someones brother's-cousins-best friends-baby daddy is a Mooslim and he makes his wife for permission to go to the store or she will get a beating with a stick, and then they ask me why did I chose to become Muslim.

These type of messed up Muslims do not share the beauty of Islam and the blessings you get from Allah to be married and treat your spouse with respect and love, and the bountiful blessings you receive from Allah to do well by your children and wife. They do not share the knowledge of the blessings from Allah to have children and to raise them as believers in the oneness of God and the endless love from Allah for striving in his cause. Islam is so beautiful, why do some humans make it so ugly.

I am done ranting for today.

Random Wednesday

2009-01-21T10:28:00.000-08:00

Ok...so, I was hired to do makeup on Saturday and it was AWESOME!!!! I was hired again on Sunday so I went and it was not so awesome. Ok...Why is it people sware they can do what I do and they want to tell me how to do what I do, but they don't do it themselves?!?!?!

One of my clients asked for a full face- for those who do not know that means that is foundation and concealer, eyes with lashes, blush, lips and finishing powder... So I asked where can I set up and I was laying everything out. For those who do not know, you are supposed to have a clean area, with all of your products laid out and placed in a way where they are within arms reach of you...

So I started with the no brainers- Alcohol in the spray bottle, hand sanitizer, tissues, cotton swabs, cotton round pads, brush cleaner, foam pads and triangles...and then I started laying out the colors. So her sister was there, she was supposed to be a self proclaimed fashionista-and I do mean self proclaimed and she proceeds to touch and handle everything..and then she started digging in the my bags of colors that I have labeled and separated by color, type and brand-

Now I know I can be sensitive but-So I said to her sister, you are welcome to VIEW the colors and not touch them then this chick starts putting her hands all on everything and trying on colors...I was like uh excuse me, but I need you to stop that.

So the makeup took twice as long because I had to spray or wipe everything down. Then she was super critical of everything and was watching me like a hawk. I am an artist and I can paint on canvas and make it look very realistic, I think I can handle covering acne and putting colors on eyes. Needless to say her sister was pleased and the old girl hopped her big self in the chair and was like I am next...So being me, I did her face too.

Moral of the story- Keep your fat fingers off peoples makeup or catch the beat down!

The bought lost of product and end the end I was very happy...

~The end

OK...Here are my BOGGLES of the day

2008-12-30T07:48:00.000-08:00

Why do people get on crowed elevators with Body Odor?!?!?!And then look around like everyone else when someone says "Hey something really smells.." And then suddenly the air clears when the stinky one gets off on their floor and the air clears!?!?! IF YOU STINK...TAKE THE STAIRS!!!

Why do people take advantage of "Jeans Day" at work and then come to work looking a hot mess...and why do people wear jeans with tight shirts and sweaters and they have an over baked muffin top rolling over their belts...AND WHY DO THEY PULL THOSE BELTS SO TIGHT IN THE FIRST PLACE...

Why do people still get dressed in a bathroom stall at the gym? No one is looking at you dress!?!?!

How come when people who you are talking to stop talking back, do you still keep talking?!?!?

Why do people put purses in the only seat on the Metro and then catch an attitude when someone asks them to move it so they can sit down??!?!?

Why do people still wear white eyeliner?!?!?

Why do people wear false eyelashes and then do not do their hair??????

Why do people still outline their lips with black eyeliner and then add a thick layer of Vaseline for the sheen?!?!?!? Makes me want to ask where is the greasy fried chicken?????

Why do people wear wigs that look like a cat with the mange or a sponge...?

Why do people draw their eyebrows on with a ruler...MAKING 2 DASHES ON THEIR FOREHEAD, BUT do not shave the real eyebrows off?!?!! Who do u think your fooling?!?!

What happened to moaners?

Why Part 2-

2008-12-01T07:29:00.000-08:00

These are my opinions- disclaimer-LOL

Every now and then I see Muslims on METRO or in the community at various places and they do not seem very happy. I know this may seem like a cliche but what happened to the Sadaqa of a smile...Most of the time I see Muslimah's (Because most of the time the Muslim walk around looking like everyone else, so I do not know who is who until they give Salaams-that is another subject) walking around looking so "oppressed" for a lack of a better word. Then someone see's me and I usually try to smile, even when I don't feel like it, and then they usually ask me if they can ask me a question. Most of the time the question is about Hijab( head cover) or Niqqab (face cover) but the second question usually comes about why we look so sad and "oppressed".

Here is my thought on that...A smile is considered sadaqa (charity), I know I am not in a position to give financially as much as I want to right now but I always have a smile to give. Even when you are in a nasty, bad and irritated mood you have to return a smile for a smile. My daughter reminds me of that all the time. So SISTERS, SMILE sometimes.

The next question most popular question is why are American Muslims so poor...I am not poor by any means and it has nothing to do with money. I have been blessed repeatedly and I continue to be blessed by Allah...I have a lot to smile about. But it is the Sunnah to be clean and neat. WHO SAID IS WAS ISLAMIC TO WALK AROUND LOOKING LIKE WHO DONE IT...Jelbab all dirty and torn, Sisters walking around with filthy children speaking in Arabic to them and yelling, Sisters all covered and as nasty as you please. What happened to taking pride in how you look? I am not saying every woman should walk around attracting attention to themselves. There is nothing wrong with wearing an all black jelbab and hijab/niqqab and guarding your gaze but...who said it was cool to be tattered and torn. I had a sister tell me that I was too worldly because I did not want a jelbab that I had for a long time because it was raggedy at the bottom, and I should be grateful to have any clothing at all...

Well this is what I said to her and this is what I say to anyone who asks...It is Sunnah to want the best in this life and the next. You don't get extra points towards entrance to heaven because your acting all poor and third world...only giving your children raw veggies to eat AND sending your kids out hungry and then they end up begging other people in the neighborhood for food...or if your child looses a shoe, you refuse to buy the child new shoes and make them go in the winter in flip-flops...or choosing to take a Qu'ran class and leave them in the car outside of the masjid because you can not afford a babysitter...Home schooling your children and treating them like small adults and not allowing them to be children...

You know what that says to non-Muslims...I do not want to be no Muuslim if they live like that! So tell me, those who claim to be better than me because I like to wear lip gloss and bright colored clothing....What do you think will be judged harsher on the day of judgement...the turning off of the Deen people by your actions or my lip gloss?!?!?!

Islam is a simple way of life, we humans make it harder than it has to be. We have a guide The Qu'ran and we have the best example The Prophet-salahi was salaam- why do we need to put unrealistic restraints on ourselves.

The State of Our Community

2008-11-26T07:53:00.001-08:00

Why?!?!?

Why do black girls think it is cute to be loud and crude in public? Who said that was even a little bit cute? I would break my foot off in my daughter if I caught her acting like that in public...I am not saying I was perfect when I was a teenager, but I knew when and where to show my tail and get ugly. Yeah we usta fight on the corner and get put off of the D bus for being too loud but at some point we respected our elders. Now I am not saying that we respected elders all of the time but we offered respect first. Respect is earned and not given but still, we respected ourselves enough to act a little like we had some home training.

Why did a Lady on the train look like the lion from cats and she thought she was so cute....and then had the NERVE to ask me if I was hot in my Hijab (head cover). I kindly asked her if she was hot in her hair weave...I know it was wrong but I think I had a dunya (pre-Islam) flash back. But there she was standing there with her horrible blond weave and her Mr Mistofolies fake fur coat that looked like it had the mange, looking down on me and feeling sorry for me...Feel sorry for me because I have a raggedy car, feel sorry for me cause I am broke until Friday but do not feel sorry for me because I wear a scarf on my head- in the winter- when people normally bundle up.....

Why am I so not in the mood for the Black Friday shopping madness- I want sales and good prices but not the get up early and fist fight your neighbor for that leather jacket or latest video game...needless to say, I am so not excited BUT I will be there anyway, like the rest of the people who are feeling the effects of this horrible economy.

Why is gas cheaper and food more expensive?!?!?

Why was I the only Black parent at my daughters school for the IMPACT Silver Spring Program...everyone else was from Ethiopia or Eritrea...Is it that we don't care about how to get our kids to do well on school? IMPACT is a program that specializes in reducing achievement gaps in schools. Black kids have the highest percentage of students doing satisfactory but we are trailing behind in the advanced levels. We are dead last behind- bi-lingual students, students who do not speak English at all. I wonder why? I REALLY did not want to go to that meeting, I did not feel like it at all, but I am glad I went anyway....So maybe my kids will stay ahead in school and do better than the less than fabulous job I did...

New Group Site for Muslimah's

2008-04-08T07:10:00.000-07:00

Hey Sisters,

There is a new site for Muslimah's to learn and share information about the Deen-Al-Haqq. It is for Sisters only, sorry fellas. Here is the link to request to join. Its small now but just imagine what it will be like soon!

http://mysistersplace.ning.com/

Another Soap Box Blog

2008-04-01T07:50:00.000-07:00

I was listening to the Russ Parr Show this morning. They were discussing the educational system of the US. We do not have to be rocket scientists to see that there is a problem all over the Continental US with our educational system. As a former teacher and a current parent I can not begin to discuss what the brilliant idea for repairing the school system should be. BUT! There was a dude that called into the show that was a complete idiot. He said something like... if the students were not doing well in High School courses like chemistry and algebra they should be transferred into trade schools. WELL MR ELITIST! I WAS A VERY POOR STUDENT IN THE 9TH GRADE AND I AM NOW A COLLEGE GRAD AND HAVE DONE VERY WELL. HOW DARE YOU!!!!!! You condemn the school system and then punish people who suffer the consequences of the poor educational brand of the US. WOW....That made me so angry! Well, Mr. put every dumb kid out of school and enroll them in trade school, I did poorly in algebra and chemistry, so I guess I should be a carpenter like Jesus and not aspire for greatness. Isn't that what the Malcolm X's teacher told him...what makes you any different from any other racist person in the world....

I think anyone with the "BALLS" to go into a high school and work hard to finish with a diploma weather an -A student or a -D student should have the opportunity to finish. I know that this waist of DNA is not alone in his thinking...so for all of you believers of the "Talented 10th" need to find an island.

Here is a tip! If you teach these students life skills and encourage them maybe they will find the energy to care about learning despite the fact that most of the community members only care that the kids in the neighborhood don't destroy their personal property. Lets teach these kids some business savvy skills that they can use instead of them learning how to run the local street pharmacy. Maybe someone should take some time to invest in our future. Maybe I will since not too many people care enough that this is a generation of the next professionals like doctors, lawyers, computer specialists, artists etc.....This is how we got George re-elected. Because not enough people care..........

So Mr ELITIST take that!

Thanks Soror for the Henna Paranoia

2008-03-25T05:52:00.001-07:00

My Friend and Soror said this weekend to a group of us, "I don't get henna on the outside of my hand because it draws too much attention..." And so a group of us looked at her like she was crazy. Well....Thanks Soror for the paranoia...I went to Starbucks yesterday and today each time having a new discussion about the floral designs on my hand, and I was being reserved and only got 1 design. Next time I think I will do the inside of my hand and arm instead. I guess my deen is growing because I got really annoyed when I was asked about the henna. Before I would have liked the attention.