and then...

Why I Love Thee

2015-03-12T10:44:00.001+08:00

I believe I owe you at least an answer to this. So let me tell you for the first time and maybe the last.

I will never be fully able to tell you why

But here and now I will, at least, give it a try

I know it’s been a question left hanging

That eventually left a void of desire and wanting

I know you know I dislike being put on the spot

Especially for things that are most important

And I was probably seeking an answer you’d accept

That the worrying left a deafening silence I deeply regret

But let’s just get to the point of this piece

And to fate I pray these words would reach

I’ll probably stop all the rhyming now

Because, in the end, the truth finds a way somehow

Even if I try, I don’t think I’ll ever be able to find all the reasons why. But the first time I saw your face awakened an abundance of feelings I thought were lost forever and could never be replaced. In you I found a sense of curiosity, a sense of renewal. Like a breath of fresh air, you came in as a gentle breeze. You were as genuine as genuine could get. And the truth, to me, is something shared out of respect. I loved how honest you were to me. How you would not leave out the details. In a sense, I felt as if with you is where I belong and no place in time or space could ever compare.

I love how you would try. Try everything for us. How you would come to a “Yes” just because it was something that would make me proud and happy. I love how there would never ever be a lack of effort from your part and how the most important thing to you was my smile. I love how much my opinion was so important in the way you would decide on things. I love how you never made me feel I was not a priority. But, most of all, I love you because at least for some part of my life, I had someone I truly loved and I knew truly loved me back to share the happiest, the most frightening, the saddest and the most fulfilling moments of my life. I’m glad I fell in love with you.

Dear Superwoman

2015-01-20T08:08:00.001+08:00

What's up lately? It's like you've built up this huge wall between us all of a sudden. It's like everything that has happened between us doesn't even matter. It's like you're a different person all of a sudden. It's tiring, really, trying to figure out what your next step would be. Always second guessing how I should approach you. I care for you and I know you know that. I wish there could be a bit more transparency between us. You know I won't judge and it's okay for you to be vulnerable around me. I don't want to keep on guessing anymore. I thought we were way, way past that stage. Here I am, arms open, ready to give you a tight embrace of assurance all you have to do is take it. I can't force it to you. Everything is still all your choice. I just want to leave you with this one thought. Bonds aren't built when each is afraid to trust. You don't have to be Superwoman in front of me all the time. Because the person I care for, want to know and be in my life is you. The whole package. No pretending, no make believe.

Late Post

2015-01-20T08:07:00.002+08:00

All I C is

You
In your crop top
Skater skirt
And black chucks

Your
Pretty eyes
Pink cheeks
And infectious smile

That
Happy girl
Whose laugh is real
Messy hair but she don't care

The
Way your face lights up
On a perfect day
When everything goes your way

I can search high and low
Far or near, I can go
But it's never the same
Because all I C is you

Another Year Older

2011-10-08T17:08:00.002+08:00

September 29, 2011

Rising From The Storm

2011-06-26T15:16:00.000+08:00

Life is truly fair and we can't expect everything to go the way we plan it. We are only human and cannot control any other thing but ourselves. The way we do things, the way we react, what weighs more for us, are all drawn from our notion of what is right and what is wrong. We can't force other people to always see things the way we do. However we have all the right to voice out our opinions. In the end, it is up to that person whether they would agree or not. In turn, we should not condemn them for not seeing things as we do. Doing so will only bring up a storm.

And with it, that storm will just bring a rain of tears, winds of panic, thunderous heartache and a flood of sorrow.

We all know that all this can be at least managed. A storm does not hit in an instant. There are always early warnings and we must be aware of those. You can track the storm so you will be ready for it. And when it comes, be equipped with a lot of patience and understanding. If all your preparations were set up correctly, the storm will pass and brighter days will be ahead.

You can always wish that a next storm will never arrive. Then again, we all know that life is fair and all we can do is just be ready. There will always be that time in between to grow in each other and make foundations strong enough to weather any storm that life throws at us.

Only Beach Trip Of Summer 2011

2011-06-26T14:54:00.000+08:00

Am I Important?

2011-04-07T18:19:00.003+08:00

I guess there are just some times when are all stressed out and we want to feel more important than usual that a simple act of consideration can go a long, long way to make us feel better and put back that smile on our face.

I feel like I need that pat on the back today...

Hope, Love and Faith

2011-03-30T20:20:00.010+08:00

Life is not perfect after all. It is, however, a mix of ups and downs. We can't have everything is the reality of it. For if we did have everything for ourselves, nothing will be left for others. Even the ones nearest and dearest to us.

We can, however, hope for the best. That is one thing we should always have. With hope, We can look forward to something good. We can rise from the downs of life and go back up. With hope springs determination and the courage to keep moving forward and never giving up.

We can also learn to love. For with love, we learn to share. We learn to care. We realize that life is not lived by a solitary person. We gain the desire to seek for the best not only for ourselves but for those that we love. We find ourselves wanting success and happiness for them too. And, you care for them enough to truly understand them, communicate with them and know what they need to be genuinely happy.

And we should always have faith, the belief that everything will fall into place somehow. We should know when to let go and trust that the people around us, especially those truly in our hearts, will also help us through. In turn we develop confidence knowing we can depend on each other and help each other throughout the journey of life.

It is these three key ingredients that will help us overcome hardships in our travels. Hoping for more ups in life than downs. Truly loving each other and in turn creating a harmonious connection. Keeping the faith and trusting each other enough and each other's reliability. We may come out wounded sometimes, as we are only human. But wounds do heal and with enough Hope, Love and Faith, we can continue in our journey stronger than ever before.

It's In All Of Us

2011-03-30T20:03:00.003+08:00

Happiness is, and will always be, in all of us.

All we need is the desire to let is show.

-Coloy Kintanar

Simple Lang Ang Hiling Ko

2011-03-20T18:43:00.000+08:00

Kaunting lambing lang at pagsumamo ang siyang hinihingi ko sa'yo,
Upang humupa ang kalungkutang lumulugmok sa puso't isipan ko.

Lalo lang kasi nadaragdagan ng luha't simangot,
sa bawat walang emosyon mong mga sagot.

Na parang wala kang ganang ipaglaban ang ating mga napagplanuhan
At kung may dahilan ka ngunit hindi mo sasabihin, hindi ko malalaman.

Parang wala lang kasi sa iyo ang mga nabuwag na plano
Tagung-tago ang mga emosyon mo sa kahong gawa sa yelo.

blah

2011-03-20T13:00:00.001+08:00

It's sad to be left wanting something you thought you'd get when your expectations were already set.

Ho Hum...

The Heavier Things

2011-02-21T20:32:00.003+08:00

Life, as we know, is a mixture of ups and downs. It is also a continuous array of activities, a list of tasks and duties. However you look at it, we are bound to carry loads and we often choose the lighter ones, aimlessly forgetting that loads vary in weight. In the end, we are left with a burden far too heavy to carry.

Sometimes we can balance it out by alternating what we choose to carry so that everything is moderated. However, we can't choose how the cargo arrives. When a ship comes in, we don't know how everything was packed. Most of the time, it would take more effort to achieve that desired balance and it would be better just to face it whichever way it comes to us.

You don't have to worry, though. I will always be here for you. When your hands are frail and your mind wants to quit and your heavy heart just adds extra weight, I will be here, helping you through the heavier things.

A Little Piece of My Childhood

2011-01-30T21:05:00.003+08:00

Guess what I found at the Candy Corner yesterday... :)

January 22, 2011

2011-01-24T20:19:00.003+08:00

I spent exactly 24 hours in the little island of Boracay just to be with the love of my life. :)

I arrived at 8am, Saturday, 22 January and left at 8am the next morning.

If that's not a perfect weekend for you, I don't know what is.

A Little Bit of Everyday Newton

2011-01-13T21:29:00.002+08:00

Newton's third law of motion states that for every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction. Pretty straightforward, I pressume. We, however, have no control as to what that “reaction” might actually be. We may not find it favorable or what we expect it to be. It may skew our results. It may even nullify whatever hypothesis you may have.

The exciting part is the experimentation where you live in the unexplained. You are eaten by anxiety and the anticipation of what might happen. It keeps you on your toes and directs your thoughts and actions to the possibilities. It is, however, not entirely in your hands. Why call it an experiment if it actually is? The important thing is you've done your research, carefully placed all instruments and ingredients and you are ready for anything, absolutely anything. Your action is the experiment, your initial sparkplug, you may say. The reaction is the result.

This can very easily be translated to your everyday life, your actual being. You start off as an object at rest and an action like simply getting up from your bed in the morning leads to another reaction that then creates a chain of events which, in totality, comprises your very day. For the purpose of scientific analysis, let's not delve in the possibility of karmic powers that may skew your results. Focus first on what you do and the result of it. Your outlook is the direction of the object and the outcome varies as to which direction you may take.

For instance, if you choose that your outlook be that of nervousness, more often than not, the events that follow only add to your initial outlook. If you decide to be freewheeling and joyous, your day just seems to get brighter and brighter. Your disposition controls your surroundings. The people you interact with, places you go to, things you do, they all reflect that action of which you originally decided.

You may ask, what if I change my perception in the middle of the day? Think about it. That mere change in perception was actually guided by a certain reaction and made you change directions. The decision you make is derived from a change, a counterstrike, a simple reaction.

Be careful then of that initial action you take to start your day. It might as well be what dictates how the day will go and end for you. And we all know, as I assume you all are normal human beings, everyone just wants to be happy. The moment you wake up, there is an action and a choice to be made. So, I ask you dear readers, put a little perspective in your day and adapt a little Newton in your lives.

Only Bats Can Fly In The Dark

2011-01-06T21:37:00.002+08:00

Please be the light and guide me.
For all around it's pitch black and confusing.
I don't want to move for it's eerie.
The next step might just be disaster waiting.

All I need's a bit of clarity,
And I'll find my way, for sure.
Don't just leave me here lost and weary.
Your voice is enough guidance and cure.

I recall we've agreed communication is the key.
I don't even need a flashlight, all I need is a spark.
Talk to me, even only a whisper, I don't care if there's a fee.
Take my hand, please guide me, for only bats can fly in the dark.

Tomorrow's Another Day

2010-12-19T12:11:00.005+08:00

We can't always control what comes into our lives,
But we can always decide if we'd let them stay.

I knew way back, from the first time I saw your eyes,
I thanked the Lord, he led me that way.

So, here I am feeling very satisfied,
Not afraid of whatever tomorrow hides.

I live for today and take my stride,
Leaving to fate, whatever she decides.

The important thing is that I'm happy,
For the most part, that's when I'm with you.

Wishing you won't get tired of me,
And hoping that you are happy too.

Making the most of the moment,
With no need to rush, no need to hurry.

Your smile is my heart's content,
It's enough to make every burden easy to carry.

Let go of the paranoia, don't worry too much, my dear.
Today is ours, you should not fear.

I hope I've made myself clear,
For whatever the risk, today is today and I will be here.

Utak : Puso

2010-12-07T21:00:00.000+08:00

Masmalakas ang takbo ng utak,
Kapag ang puso'y nagagalak.

Friendship over Knowledge

2010-12-01T18:30:00.003+08:00

Patrick : Knowledge cannot replace friendship. I'd rather be an idiot than lose you."

What Do You Think?

2010-11-30T03:15:00.002+08:00

The least of my priorities is to ruin the moment.
Though, it was so good that I crave for another.

However, thoughts come crashing.
Will it ever be better than that beginning?

How do I keep this going?
Should I just keep it a one time thing forever?

A bliss, a serenity, an inner peace,
That will forever be etched in my memories.

For on that fateful night,
We shared ourselves and everything was better.

Soaring high I was then,
Though still careful enough as not to startle any tired eyes.

I need your help now.
Help me figure out, is this worth a second time?

Her Song

2010-11-21T17:44:00.003+08:00

When, finally, I find her, this is the song I will sing. For now, uncertainty is still my foe.

Brand New Colony
by The Postal Service

I'll be the grapes fermented, bottled and
served with the table set in my finest suit
like a perfect gentleman.
I'll be the fire escape that's bolted to the
ancient brick where you will sit
and contemplate your day.

I'll be the waterwings that save you if you
start drowning in an open tab when your
judgement's on the brink.
I'll be the phonograph that plays your favorite
albums back as you're lying there, drifting off
to sleep... drifting off to sleep...
I'll be the platform shoes; undo what heredity's done to you:
you won't have to strain to look into my eyes.
I'll be your winter coat buttoned and zipped
straight to the throat with the collar up so
you won't catch a cold.

I want to take you far from the cynics in this town
and kiss you on the mouth.
We'll cut our bodies free from the tethers of
this scene, start a brand new colony.
Where everything will change, we'll give
ourselves new names. Identities erased.
The sun will heat the grounds, under our bare
feet in this brand new colony.
This Brand new colony...

Everything will change, Ooo ooo...
Everything will change, Ooo ooo...
Everything will change, Ooo ooo...

When I See You

2010-11-18T17:30:00.002+08:00

Outside you'll see a happy face, but inside I'm already dying.

I know there's always a better place, but the hurt stops me from wanting.

For at night I sleep with a heavy heart, and don't even look forward to morning.

I should've known from the very start, that I shouldn't have kept on trying.

Outside you'll see a happy face, but deep inside I keep on dying.

No matter what anyone says, this lonely heart is mourning.

The first time I said a prayer in front of people in years.

2010-11-17T18:33:00.004+08:00

We have this thing in the office where we'd huddle with our teams and talk about certain values. Today, it was my turn to lead. It was also the first time I took this sort of thing seriously. Now, after every huddle, our boss would ask for a volunteer to lead or say a prayer. I'd never volunteer in the past but I thought I'd step on to the plate since it was my turn anyway. It was pre-meditated, to say the least. I guess I really liked the value which was "Display Passion and Optimism." I've had a lack of passion and optimism lately so it really struck me.

Anyway, here is how my prayer went:

Dearest Lord,

Thank You for another day. It gives us the chance to better ourselves and be happy.

Lord God, Help unleash the Davids in us, who in battle, instead of sword and shield, carried You in his heart.

Help us to be ultimate team players who, though not stars of the show, cheer their teammates on until the final buzzer.

Help us be vessels of passion and optimism so that we may share ourselves with others.

Amen.

A Short Dissertation of a Dialogue or the Lack Thereof (First Draft)

2010-11-17T17:36:00.003+08:00

Most of the time, grievances are caused by mere miscommunication. Person A thinks this while Person B thinks that. If one of them doesn’t get what they expected, that is called a misunderstanding. This is brought about either by having different plans, by a deviation from a set plan or probably the total absence of a plan. As much as possible, anyone would like to avoid such un-agreeable circumstances, which may lead to a gloomy atmosphere much worse, heart-rending endings.

A good way to avoid such miscommunications or misunderstandings is by expectation setting. In an event that involves two or more people, be it immense or minuscule in scale, expectations should be guided by the agreement of all parties involved with the intention that no one is given the short end of the stick. In other words, setting expectations is a shared, communal, mutual agreement between concerned participants of any events that, again, involves two or more people.

With this in mind, you, as well as the other people or parties involved, are better equipped to handle any unfavourable event, any misguiding or any obstacles at hand. With aligned expectations, the event is more tangible and will produce better results that are favourable to all parties involved. It allows for better resolution and a smoother execution of a said event. Much more, it does not allow for misguided opinions to be formed that may entail to negative judgements or statements that in the end may deem hurtful to all parties.

Now, in the occurence that an event already happens with the lack of expectation setting, the beauty of it all is that it is rarely irreconcilable or amendable. Communication is the key to damage control. Any person or party involved is usually open to reconciliation, understanding, settlement or compromise. It usually involves though that the person or party at fault oftentimes has to perform an action sympathetic or complimentary to the person or party faulted but, that’s besides the point. In any case, a dialogue, agreement, communication between two parties helps alleviate and control any hurt or cause of distress. It allows the other person or party to understand the basis and give own insight with regards to the matter at hand or the matter that has passed. It gives chance for a reconnect between two parties or persons. It may not bring back trust fully or right away but at least it settles any bad judgement and creates space to be civil and probably back on track.

In short, before an event takes place, it is best to set expectations through dialogue or communication so that everyone’s ideas and thoughts are aligned and fair. In any case that it is not done, an amicable way to settle this is again through communication wherein the faulted is made able to understand the other’s actions – It may not be what they would want to hear, but at least they’ll have a better understanding. If indeed all lines are severed, there is, at the very least, closure.

(to be continued...)

I'm A Box

2010-11-16T19:35:00.002+08:00

Take out your new shoes from the box. Try them on, check the mirror, imagine yourself dancing around in them. What a joy...

Now, look at the box. The one that once held those shoes so dearly.

Oh, there I am! Empty.