Restore

Quitter

2012-01-20T23:05:00.000-08:00

I bought a book recently. I was convinced it was written for me after watching this trailer:

I've been reading it during my free moments and my initial impression was correct. I needed to read this book. If you're trying to figure out how to get from your day job to your dream job, you should read this book.

Nope. I didn't get this book for free to review it. I spent money that I earn on my day job to buy it. And Jon Acuff has no idea who I am.

But he's written a book that hits very close to home right now. When I'm finished reading it, I'll share more. But for now, I'll leave you with one of my favorite quotes so far, "More often than not, finding out what you love doing most is about recovering an old love or an inescapable truth that has been silenced for years, even decades. When you come to your dream job, your thing, it's rarely a first encounter. It's usually a reunion."

I love that! A recovery, a reunion. Yes.

Wordless Wednesday (not)

2012-01-18T00:00:00.000-08:00

I took the photo above in 2009 long before I moved here. It was one of my Wordless Wednesday posts.

I didn't think God would actually bring me here. He has.

Anyone who doesn't think God has a sense of humor . . . is wrong.

I took these in the spring of last year, while driving through Joshua Tree National Park.

I live near the Joshua Tree (the tiny little village I live in) entrance to the park. And sometimes, when the

mood suits me, I drive through that place.

And I never cease to be amazed at His creation.

He is one creative Dude...

Yep, that's a dude up there on the rock.

Content

2012-01-16T19:18:00.000-08:00

The Apostle Paul said that he had learned the "secret" of being content in "every" circumstance. I used to wonder if he was being honest (really).

I thought, "Really? Every circumstance. Every?"

It doesn't always seem possible to be content with your lot. Whatever that may be. And yet, as I continue to read One Thousand Gifts and count out my 1,000 gifts, I have begun to believe, more than I ever have before, that the secret is in the joy, the thanksgiving and in seeing the little, everyday graces.

With that realization is the knowledge that it's really my choice to be content. My choice to choose joy. My choice to live with a heart filled with thanksgiving. It's easy (really easy) to blame everyone and everything for a lack of contentment. Or because you're not where you want to be.

At least it's easy for me.

But the secret really is in the thankful heart. It's in your choices. It's in my choices.

When I choose joy, when I am thankful for what is in front of me, my heart is full. I begin to see that life here is what I make it. I can find beauty, meaning, purpose, rest and joy.

Why? Because it's not dependent upon circumstances, locations or any other passing thing. It's rooted, rooted down deep, in the thick rich soil of choosing joy, choosing to be thankful and in remembering all of His tiny graces.

These tiny graces build and grow into a thing of beauty. Beauty right here in this brown, barren desert.
And so my list continues . . .

43. Handwritten letters
44. The gift of creativity
45. The ability to be compassionate towards others
46. A sense of humor
47. Sun shining through dark clouds
48. My soft bed
49. Cheese & Crackers
50. The handmade books my Mom has made me
51. My Reading List by Pat Conroy
52. Plan B by Pete Wilson
53. Seeing God's work of grace in my life
54. Making a life and home of my own
55. Memories of the sea:

56. The color blue:

57. Blue Ball Mason Jars:

58. Creating beauty & sanctuary in my home.
59. Reminders of the sea I love so much, all around me:

60. A friend's artwork:

To read an inspiring post by Ann Voskamp about the answer to anxiety, go here: http://www.aholyexperience.com/2012/01/whats-the-answer-to-anxiety/. This post is part of Ann Voskamp's Multitudes on Monday's.

Broken Roads, Faith & Gratitude

2012-01-09T20:49:00.000-08:00

I took a road trip on Saturday. It was a whirlwind trip from my little desert town, to the border town of Yuma, Arizona (also a desert town - only much bigger). I drove there and back for a wedding.

It doesn't need to be a secret, that though the High Desert has its charms: http://www.flickr.com/photos/elainamarie/sets/72157626784492230/ & http://www.flickr.com/photos/elainamarie/sets/72157626071974840/, I'm not fond of living in a place
so . . . so . . . brown. I'm working on being grateful for this place. But it's taking time.

I love green. Deep, deep green. Trees. Water. They feed the dry places in my heart. I'd rather look at fields of cotton and corn or windy roads lined with Loblolly pines. I'm a windows down, wind in the hair, kind of person.

Living here, that's a sacrifice you have to make for a huge chunk of the year. During the summer? Too hot. Though we didn't hit 119 this summer, we got close. Too close for comfort. During other times during the year, the wind is intense and sandy, dirty dust storms pop up.

So when I get out on the open road, I ~~kind of~~ have a blast. I know that this is going to sound silly, but I don't even care. But driving back roads, past farms, cattle ranches: http://untitledname.com/2010/03/beef (apparently, cows outnumber people in Brawley, CA) and through tiny towns nestled up against railroad tracks, soothed me. It does make miss Eastern North Carolina - the home born in my heart. But more than that, I felt alive again. And I so needed that. Another grace to kick off 2012.

I waxed poetic. I got quiet. I listened better. Driving past those green fields, or one stop sign towns, I started to think about all I've seen and experienced - from one end of this country to the other. For the little things I learn about people and creation and God's character in these places, I'm thankful for:

38. Green fields and farmland.

39. The setting sun against open fields and towns so tiny, they boast only one stop sign:

40. For sandy dunes that are other worldly and remind me of a God that can't be easily understood or explained adequately:

41. For the grace of water in the desert:

Photo Credit

This isn't water you want to drink (more saline than the Pacific Ocean). But the view of the Salton Sea as the sun set, was a sight that touched my soul in this way that only God's magnificence can. Someday I'll go back and take my own photos.

And, most beautiful about the trip?

42. For a dear friend's wedding both because I could share in her joy but also because of the reminder it was of restoration and answers to prayer in response to dogged faith:

Her faith - her enormous faith - in spite of the odds and the past and all of the trials, is an example that I will never forget. Her smile and the way her husband looked at her prompted tears of joy co-mingled with hope that someday, perhaps this gift will also be mine. Their first dance to "Bless the Broken Road" gave me hope.

It's been a dry few months for me. I've felt like this barren desert I live in. When the beauty of God's lush creation inspires me to write and think and dream, I feel most myself. But here? Here with the brown and the pace that keeps me running? It takes a little more work.

I'm so grateful for the brief getaway. Though it still took me through desert towns, to yet another desert town, He revealed to me, His beauty is everywhere. And its stuck with me. For this I am so thankful.

This post is part of "Multitudes on Monday" hosted by Ann Voskamp at A Holy Experience.

Here

2012-01-02T16:01:00.000-08:00

In the spring of 2011, I started reading Ann Voskamp's One Thousand Gifts. I even started writing these gifts down - recording them as sign posts and markers of His beauty and grace all around me.

And then I stopped. Life got in the way. My career took over. I stopped looking. I didn't see them anymore. When I did see them, I didn't write them down.

I thought about starting over today. But that would make it seem as though the first things I recorded weren't ever noticed.

So I'll pick up where I left off in just a minute. But before that, I wanted to mention that coming back to this blog has felt like coming home. I've needed this. But more than needing to write and record what's on my mind and heart - I've needed to come home to this Love - this Love that pursues me into the darkest, deepest places in my heart.

When I wandered before, it took so much for Him to get me back. This time, I wandered but not in the same way. I was just too busy to seek Him. It wasn't like before when I turned my back on His ways and His gentle, magnificent love.

It was subtle. Gradual. Quiet. Each day built upon the next until I looked back recently and realized how little I'd consulted Him in the last year and a half - how little I'd ached for Him to fill the lonely places in my soul.

Though not like before, it still reveals my adulterous heart that easily wanders after other lovers. Even still, He's here with me now, gentle and loving and kind. "I'm glad you've come back." I add the, "Again." And in only the way He can, He reminds me that it doesn't matter how many "agains" it takes, He'll pursue me still.

When I first moved up here to the High Desert, I jokingly thought for a second that maybe moving to this barren place was to signify some spiritual mile marker in my life. There are lessons this brown place - with all its dirt and sand have taught me but I'm not sure it was in the way I expected.

In this ugly stretch of land, I am learning that He is here. His graces are here. His beauty? Here. It may be a little harder for me to find them. And I may not see them as easily as I did in the lush south with water and green and rich soil everywhere - but they're there.

And as I pursue Him, I see them more clearly. So . . . back to the counting . . .

23. A breeze through open windows, on a quiet afternoon.
24. Avocado's
25. The pine tree in my back yard - it's green such a contrast in all this brown.
26. Tiny, baby pine cones that fell from my tree in the spring.
27. The days when work is what it's supposed to be.
28. The opportunities my Marine Corps life has given to me.
29. Rainstorms in the desert.
30. My dog falling asleep at my feet.
31. The people who take care of me.
32. Memories of salt and pine in the air.
33. God's unending patience.
34. Lemons, fresh from my Grandma's tree - and the scent they leave on my hands.

35. The little green plants on my counter. Giving me a little bit of green in a world so brown.

36. Green army men that remind me to be a prayer warrior - and of the group of women who gave it to me. It's a reminder of the grace extended to me in those Thursday morning's studying His word and learning to be real again.

37. Golden sun on country roads (like in the photo at the top of this post, that I took while at my Grandma's house this weekend).

To read other's lists, you can go here: http://www.aholyexperience.com/2012/01/what-the-new-year-needs-most/ or click the multitudes on monday button below.

To read the first 22 in my list, you can read up, here:

Eucharisteo

All Around

More Gifts

Streams in the Wasteland

2012-01-01T10:29:00.000-08:00

“Forget the former things;
   do not dwell on the past.
  See, I am doing a new thing!
   Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?
I am making a way in the wilderness
   and streams in the wasteland."
Isaiah 43:18-19 NIV

The Message says this:

This is what God says,
   the God who builds a road right through the ocean,
   who carves a path through pounding waves,
The God who summons horses and chariots and armies—
   they lie down and then can't get up;
   they're snuffed out like so many candles:
"Forget about what's happened;
   don't keep going over old history.
Be alert, be present. I'm about to do something brand-new.
   It's bursting out! Don't you see it?
There it is! I'm making a road through the desert,
   rivers in the badlands.

I picked the photo above because that tree has a lot of meaning and significance for me. Sometimes we need a little reminder that He is in the midst of doing something new in us.

The branches of the tree above had been so barren only a couple of months prior to me taking that photo. Watching it slowly bud into this glorious white blossomed tree, meant so much to me because it was a symbol of what God was doing in me.

January 1, 2012 - it's a new year. Let it be a reminder to all of us that even when we don't see it, He is doing a new thing.

Well . . .

2011-12-31T23:14:00.000-08:00

The last time I posted on this blog o' mine it was September of 2010. Since I've been slowly taking back my life, I figure it's time to come on back to this space.

I've tried to write and start a few other blogs. But nothing felt like home. Because this is my blog. So what little content I wrote elsewhere, I'll merge over here.

The post below is the first of those.

It's good to be back.

Balance

2011-12-31T23:12:00.000-08:00

I have had this regular nagging thought over the last few weeks that I needed to make some changes in 2012. But I hate that word. Resolutions.

I can't really explain what it is that so repels me about the idea of resolutions - or even of "goals" for 2012. Nonetheless, I know that something is required of me for 2012. This could be a year of big changes. It could be a year of transition (again).

It could be a year of many things. But it all hangs on one word: balance. Balance. I suck at balance. That very fact was one reason why this blog is called "a simple life." Why? Because I crave simplicity. Yet, it is of my own doing that life is often far from simple.

It's my own doing.

For as long as I can remember, I have doggedly taken care of others to the point where I find myself utterly lost and exhausted somewhere down the path. I become, almost to the point of obsession, focused on everyone else's needs - forgetting myself.

I know that sounds selfish, right? Forgetting myself. But what encompasses me? What does that actually mean?

It means that I forget:

- My Jealous God who fought so hard to win me back from the abyss.
- The Call God has on my life.
- His call on me to write.
- My longing to create beauty and see it in the everyday world around me.
- To care for my own family - by prayer and supplication for their needs.
- My passion for loving and soaking in His creation.
- The little things that bring joy.
- I forget to talk to Him. To seek Him. To praise Him.
- His sweet Word that soothes my soul.
- My friends.

I could go on. But that's enough. My career has become my consuming passion. It has consumed me. I don't want to be consumed by it. I want to be consumed by Him.

But beyond all of the spiritual and emotional consequences are the physical ones. Since I live daily with a reminder that my body has a mind of its own (in the form of lupus) it is imperative that I get this right. Lupus has no actual cure. But I am convinced that I can live a long, healthy life by taking care of myself because I have gone such long periods of time in remission.

Those remissions were long because of how I lived my life. Stress can usher in a lupus flare like nothing else. Since my kidney's have become an issue (which I've been in denial about), I have to make changes. I am in a lupus flare now. And this time, it has scared me like no other time before. I become so focused on everything and everyone else, that I even forget simple things like vitamins and become so fatigued that I go through the drive through on the way home vs. making that healthy dinner.

I know this much . . . I wouldn't be here now, feeling like I do, had I lived my life in balance. Balance. Like simplicity . . . it has eluded me for 15 months. Scratch that. Its been much longer than 15 months. But the previous year and change has so clearly highlighted my lack of balance (in all things) that it's just easier to point to it to show my failings.

My One Word for 2012 is balance. To find it, I must choose ~~a path~~ many paths that will not come easy for me. I have to be intentional. Disciplined. I have to say no. When my work day ends, it needs to end. Though I'm always on call - I need to set aside the work I so often do, until a new work day begins.

It means choosing Him first. It means subjugating the tyranny of the urgent - which is rarely all that urgent. And it means that I might have to let a few things slide. It means having to be comfortable with not being perfect. It means being okay with how others react when I say, "No."

Balance. Like simplicity, I crave balance. So here's to a 2012 lived in balance.

I don't think I have any readers anymore. But...in the off chance you end up here, you can share your "One Word" here: http://oneword365.com/community/.

~ Elaina

2011-09-18T12:11:00.000-07:00

Somewhere, buried deep in the closet of my heart, is my short-lived memory of a baby that was mine fleetingly. On nights when I am more alone than I am anything else, I remember. I remember that being a wife and a mom is all I ever really wanted. And I remember her. I do not know who she would have grown up to be.

I don't even know she was a she. But somehow, in my heart, it is so. I long for her. And I long for a house filled with her half-siblings. Their noise to replace the silences. When friends complain about their husbands and their kids, I want to tell them what the opposite of their existence feels like.

I want them to see what they have. I don't want them to know what it's like to be thirty-five and living a life I never dreamed. Longing for what they have and so easily dismiss.

There is a blogger named Sara -- Gitzen Girl -- who is losing her earthly battle with a disease that has taken so much from her. Sara Frankl's emphasis through it all -- though she was home bound and living a life that was so different than the one she imagined -- was always choosing joy.

Though I just read last night that hospice had come to serve her in her final days - and her priest had come to administer her last rites, I am certain her focus was on everyone around her. I focus on what I've lost -- on who I have lost. I focus on the physical pain of a disease that steals hours (but not my life) of my life. I focus on being alone.

I rarely focus on joy. I rarely choose the contentment of being well loved by my Savior. A Savior that loves me faithfully in spite of my faithlessness. I rarely choose to remember the grace so lavishly bestowed on me. I never see Him first.

May I learn the lesson that Gitz's life exemplified. May I always choose joy.

The Little Things

2011-05-14T22:10:00.000-07:00

I moved. And it was challenging. I never intended to move so fast as I'd only been in my "permanent" digs for a few months. I got the opportunity for a beautiful place that I couldn't pass up. All the way across the driveway. Not a far journey. Nonetheless it was a stressful, last minute thing.

And ever since I moved to the new house, I've been running. I haven't had the time in the last few weeks to rest. To think. I need that. I don't function without that. And yet, the demands of my life require a tempo that just isn't me. As such, the time to slow down, to simplify, is mandatory.

While I've worked all day at getting more settled in my new house, the process of doing so is part of the simplifying. It's part of the taking care of self. As each book is placed on a shelf and each picture goes up on the wall, the tension releases.

At the end of the day, I set up my new chair on the back patio, took the few sips of a watermelon margarita and sat, quietly. I simply listened to the sound of the wind as it blew through the pine tree that takes up a sizable portion of my backyard.

The rush of the wind through the needles is all I needed to remember. To breathe deeper. And to see clearly what is often hard for me to see when life is rushed and moving at a frenetic pace.

God is so good to me.

More Gifts

2011-04-26T22:11:00.000-07:00

12. The Eastern NC sun as it filters through the trees.

13. The smell of the desert on a cool morning.

14. A good book.

15. Light through my kitchen nook window, shining on my table.

16. A strong cup of coffee.

17. Grace.

18. Quail running through the yard.

19. Abby's cold nose:

20. The bright green of spring (I'm remembering...as there isn't much green in the desert :).

21. The Neuse and its jagged shoreline.

22. Bright pink flowers on a prickly cactus.

All Around

2011-04-18T22:13:00.000-07:00

They are all around me. Some sound almost insignificant. Yet, they are sources of joy in the midst of the mundane. And they are reminders of His love for me.

2. strawberry shortcake made with Bisquick.

3. the first sip of chilled chardonnay.

4. being able to afford a printer, ink and paper. i love the sound the printer makes as the words are traced in black against the white.

5. the snoring puppy at my feet.

6. weathered doors

7. white christmas lights

8. fireworks

9. the sound of coffee dripping into a pot in the morning.

10. the smell of old books.

11. fresh flowers throughout the house.

Eucharisteo

2011-04-17T22:14:00.000-07:00

I've started reading Ann Voskamp's One Thousand Gifts, which has a description accompanying it . . . Dare to LIVE FULLY right where you are. Only three chapters in, I feel my soul settling in the way it does when Truth does its transforming work.

The stirring in my soul -- the awakening of places in my heart I don't dare to acknowledge has begun. I've been afraid to live in all out gratitude and joy. After the loss and grief, to be thankful -- to be overwhelmed with joy is to risk losing again.

But this is no way to live.

So I won't.

1. Flowers by my sink.

Choices

2011-02-13T22:15:00.000-08:00

When I was a teenager I bought a book called Leaves From A Children's Garden of Verses that had absolutely beautiful art work. It, like some of the Golden Books I had since childhood, were like dream keepers. Actually, most books from my childhood were my dream keepers.

But these in particular held on the pages between the front and back covers, the life I dreamed of. The life I hoped would become mine. The art was the visible depiction of my heart's longing. All of the artwork -- whether in the Golden Books or the Leaves From A Children's Garden of Verses, can be boiled down to this fact, they depicted a rural, country life.

In the Golden Book, children were running barefoot, playing in front of a home alongside of a creek surrounded by emerald green hills and dense with trees. That was the life I longed for. Even today, in my mid-thirties, with a big birthday around the corner, I still want this life.

Somewhere in a corner of my mind I have woken up to realize that getting there depends entirely on me. While God has a will and purpose for my life -- I believe this firmly -- I also believe that I have a choice in what I do with my days, with my time, with my treasure and with my talent.

And frankly, if I were doing those things, that simplicity and those dreams probably wouldn't seem as far away.

Homesick

2011-01-14T00:01:00.000-08:00

I've tried. But no matter what I do or where I go, I always long for one place. It's that swampy piece of land.

There between the Outer Banks and "SOBX" in a place where people hold doors open for strangers, accents are a strange mix of southern hospitality and leftover Elizabethan English, the food is fried and the sea grass blows clack, clackity like.

And it's home. It always will be. I can't change it. And don't even want to try to do so. It will always be so.

I will bloom where I'm planted. I will. But in this dry, brown stretch of land thousands of miles from the home I made, I am still so very homesick.

Here in the desert, I know I'm not alone in that feeling, which makes the kindness of those who were strangers only a few months ago, that much more beautiful. I am so thankful for the little graces. But I'm not gonna lie, I'm homesick.

Something Special

2011-01-08T23:57:00.000-08:00

" I would rather have thirty minutes of wonderful than a lifetime of nothing special."

- Shelby

There is a scene in one of my top ten favorite movies of all time that I think of frequently when I long for simplicity. In Steel Magnolias, Julia Roberts, after having a child, is working as nurse, managing her Diabetes and going through the dialysis that has become necessary after having a baby. She is physically depleted. And her mental and emotional depletion is probably nearing empty too.

She gets her long, beautiful hair chopped off. It's super short and piecey, you know? Easy to deal with when you're a wife, mom, nurse and battling a long-term chronic disease. She says, before she leaves to have her did, "I just feel the need to make things as simple as possible."

Me too. Me too. This weekend has become my unofficial start to the New Year by becoming "2011 Organization Weekend." I've worked on organizing work projects, my personal budget, home and office organization. And tomorrow, I'll even (ahem) clean out my car.

But all of it points back to one very simple truth. I long for a simple life. And like Shelby, I want my life to count for something. Even if it's thirty minutes of wonderful vs. a lifetime of nothing special. My life now is in the center of something special.

While I have a lifetime ahead of me, I'm doing now what I've longed to do. But with the something special comes a long list of complications. The complications are no different for any other woman in the world who thinks and functions like me. But it means that life is far from simple.

As women, we don't want to let anyone down. We place a higher premium on caring for others before caring for ourselves. And yet . . . when we fail to take care of our own needs, we are not able to adequately care for those God places in our paths.

So here I am. In the midst of the something special. Or at least one of the something specials I'll experience in this life. But I'm watching slowly as the me I'm meant to be slowly slips behind the long to-do list, the seemingly insurmountable obstacles and the overwhelming needs of others.

What does it all mean? It's time to get serious. In the last four months I've spent my fun money on randomness. I haven't exactly been frivolous but lets get real people . . . my fun money has gone to pointless stuff as opposed to those "things" that might organize, simplify and be long-term investments on, well, my sanity.

But not anymore. Not after this weekend.

I'll share later some of the items I've purchased to simplify . . . complete with before and after photos. :) But the bottom line remains that my longing to make things simple is important. It's who I am. It's what I need. It might be what you need to, you know? And so?

It's worth the freaking effort.

But there's only one way to get there. Work. Effort. Dude, I hate acknowledging that. But the truth is, you've gotta take some steps to get there, though they might be small. I read an article on the Real Simple website that made sense. Start with a simple approach. Tackle one area. Or spend each commercial break of your favorite show organizing that stack of mail, magazines, receipts and paperwork.

The point is, let's just do it already. I am. I'll let you know how that work out.

2010-09-23T18:33:00.000-07:00

Well. This has been a whirlwind two weeks. Two weeks ago Wednesday, I was unemployed and completely convinced I wouldn't get my "dream job" working for the Marine Corps as a Family Readiness Officer. I had decided to focus entirely on school.

Lo and behold, I got word two weeks ago today that I was being offered a position at 29 Palms Marine base. By Tuesday of the following week, I had found a studio (that is thankfully temporary) to rent and had moved in. I started work yesterday afternoon.

I am so excited to be here. I'm blown away at the timing of all of this! But God knows what He's doing and just when I thought I had it figured out, He showed me that He was still the boss of me. :) I'm just so very excited!

So . . . what is a "FRO?" "Let me explain. No. Let me sum up, there is too much."

A Family Readiness Officer works directly for the Commanding Officer of a Marine Corps unit as the primary link between the commander and the families. A FRO provides resource and referral information to Marines, Sailors and their spouses and family members, provides official information passed directly from the Commanding Officer and a whole list of other duties such as planning special events. Essentially, the FRO is "the face of the commander’s vision for family readiness."

So what is family readiness? Family readiness is defined as, "families who are prepared and equipped with the skills and tools to successfully meet the challenges of the military lifestyle. Family readiness directly affects the fundamental purpose of the Marine Corps to make Marines and win battles by building commitment and raising morale, thereby increasing unit readiness."

This has ultimately been nine years in the making for me. It was around September 11, 2001, that I got my first job working in family readiness for the Marine Corps, in NC. This is something I've wanted for a long time. I am beyond thrilled.

That said, there will be some changes around here. While I moved some content to a personal, private blog some time ago, I will probably move more. In addition, I will be changing the content of this blog to some degree. If you are at all interested in an invitation to the private blog, you can send me an email at elaina.avalos at gmail dot com.

I will still keep this place. And while I am not entirely certain what it will look like, it will definitely be different than it has in the past. I am excited about the path God has me on now. I love a new adventure! Like I said, please feel free to email me if you would like me to send you that invite. Otherwise, things may be even quieter around here while I formulate what I hope to do here.

Thankful,

Elaina

Today

2010-09-22T11:12:00.000-07:00

Today I start my new job. This is what I've been waiting to write about. And now I don't have time to write a real post. :) But after 19 months of being unemployed, I will be working at Twentynine Palms Marine base. I'll share a few more details this afternoon.

I'm so excited. And so very thankful!

No matter what...

2010-09-20T13:38:00.000-07:00

I will be a fool for Him. Gladly.
I will follow.
Regardless of what happens.

He can take away everything, because I've been there before.

I will still hope in Him.
I will still have faith in Him.

Not that He'll make everything okay.
But that He'll still hold me in His arms no matter what.

And I will still step out in faith, because even if I fall, He's here to pick me up.

"Though he slay me, yet will I hope in Him." Job 13:15a

Your faith is all it takes...

2010-09-20T13:34:00.000-07:00

Walk On the Water by Britt Nicole
You look around
It's staring back at you
Another wave of doubt
Will it pull you under
You wonder

What if I'm overtaken
What if I never make it
What if no one's there?
Will you hear my prayer?

When you take that first step
Into the unknown
You know that he won't let you go

Chorus:

So what are you waiting for?
What do you have to lose?
Your insecurities try to hold to you

You know you're made for more
So don't be afraid to move
Your faith is all
It takes and you can
Walk on the water too

Verse 2:
So get out
And let
Your fear fall to the ground
No time to waste
Don't wait
Don't you turn around and miss out
Everything you were made for
I know you're not sure
So you play it safe
Try to run away

If you take that first step
Into the unknown
He won't let you go

(chorus)

Bridge:
(step out)
Even when a storm hits
(step out)
Even when you're broken
(step out)
Even when your heart is telling you telling you to give up
(step out)
When your hope is stolen
(step out)
You can't see where you're going
You don't have to be afraid

So what are you waiting,
What are you waiting for?

So what are you waiting for?
What do you have to lose?
Your insecurities try to hold to you

You know you're made for more
So don't be afraid to move
Your faith is all
It takes and you can
Walk on the water...
Walk on the water too

Part One

2010-09-15T15:19:00.000-07:00

Well, I said I'd be back to share some news. I'm not quite ready to share that just yet. I will soon (hopefully). What I can say is that I moved yesterday. I moved to the High Desert of California. Sometimes, God has a funny way of showing you that He's still the boss. And that's what He's done in my life in the last week.

There's more to the story but I am not ready to post it just yet. I'll be back soon...

Ch-ch-changes

2010-09-10T23:28:00.000-07:00

Soon . . . I'll be sharing some news.

Big news.

Really big news.

For now, I'll just say it involves this place:

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." ~ Jeremiah 29:11

Permission to Speak Freely by Anne Jackson

2010-09-07T22:45:00.000-07:00

Anne Jackson's latest book, Permission to Speak Freely, was recently released and I was privileged to get my hands on a copy. Don't expect to read this book (which is described as "Essays and Art On Fear, Confession, and Grace) without being changed.

I wrote awhile back about going to Crossroads Church in Corona, California, to hear Anne Jackson speak. You can find that post, here. I have a great deal of respect for Jackson. Her honesty and authenticity are inspiring. This book is no different.

Here's a bit of what the book's back cover has to say:

"What is the one thing you feel you can't say in church?"

In May 2008, Anne Jackson asked a question on her blog, "What is one thing you feel you can't say in church?" Hundreds responded. Everyone had a story.

Permission to Speak Freely is the artistic collaboration and movement of author Anne Jackson, who is through with keeping brokenness in the dark. Bringing to light the original intent of God's sanctuary as a place of help and healing, Anne reveals that through confession, both to God and to others, we can live lives that are whole and healed.

First thing you should know is that this is a beautifully put together book. I love the photos, the handwritten notes, layout and artwork. But beyond the beauty of Permission to Speak Freely, is a heart and spirit that is powerful.

One of my favorite chapters echoes a concept Anne spoke about at Crossroads. "The Gift of Going Second," is, though I heard her tell this story in person, incredibly powerful and convicting. If only I had a speck of the courage Anne showed that day when she approached Crystal.

Listen, I'm not going to lie to you, this book may not be easy for some people to read. Why? Because it might make you a little uncomfortable. But sometimes, it's in our discomfort that we find the exact area God most wants to use us.

But for others of you, this book is going to shower healing and comfort onto the aching places in your heart because it's going to give you hope. It will help you see that healing and wholeness are possible. I haven't always felt safe within the doors of the church. In fact, it wasn't until recently that I could say that was the case again. So...if you're anything like me, you should read this book.

You should read this book because you won't feel alone. You should read this book because every Christian should live their lives with this kind of transparency. As the inside cover says, "In the voice of an engaging but battle-scarred friend, Anne Jackson questions a church culture that 'sacrifices the beauty of confession and brokenness for religious trappings and the malady of perfectionism."'

Please know that you can't come away unchanged from reading this book. I can't say enough about it and Anne Jackson's passion for truth and transparency.

You can pick up a copy, here: Permission to Speak Freely: Essays and Art on Fear, Confession, and Grace
Check out Anne's blog, Flower Dust. Or stop by Permission to Speak Freely.

Yada, yada FTC crap:
This book was provided to me free of charge by Thomas Nelson. However, a positive review was not required nor suggested. I just freaking love the book.

The Butterfly Effect by Andy Andrews

2010-09-07T22:43:00.000-07:00

I recently read The Butterfly Effect: How Your Life Matters, by Andy Andrews. I was touched by the heart and message of this book.

Andrews's quote on the back of the book is, "Every single thing you do matters. You have been created as one of a kind. You have been created in order to make a difference. You have within you the power to change world."

Speaker and author, Andrews tells a powerful story in this book about one man who made a decision over 100 years ago and the ripple effect it has had on us as a nation. But beyond the stories effect on us as a country, is the power it has to motivate you as an individual.

In the day to day, humdrum of life, it's hard to imagine that our life is making an impact on anyone. And yet, the truth is, even if we impact one person, we have the potential to change the world -- just as Andrews demonstrates so powerfully in this book.

At fifty-eight pages, it is a quick read but its impact on your life can be profound. The artwork and photos in are beautiful and well, at fifty-eight pages you can't say you don't have time to read!

The way Andrews tells this story is sure to leave you thinking about the impact of your own life on those you encounter.

You can pick up a copy here: The Butterfly Effect: How Your Life Matters.

Andy Andrews on Twitter: http://twitter.com/AndyAndrews or on his website: http://www.andyandrews.com/.

FTC yada, yada:

This book was provided to me free of charge. I was not required to provide a positive review.

The Boy Who Changed the World by Andy Andrews

2010-09-07T22:39:00.000-07:00

The Boy Who Changed the World, written by Andy Andrews and illustrated by Philip Hurst, and published
by Tommy Nelson
is the children's picture book version of The Butterfly Effect

I have to say that I enjoyed the picture book version even more than the other version. I, as a lover of books, have a special love for children's books. Not only are the illustrations rich and beautiful but the message is one that is sure to have an impact on a child's identity as a unique child of God.

Towards the end of the book, Andrews writes, "God made your life so important that every move you make, every action you take, matters . . . and not only for you or the people around you. Everything you do matters for everyone and for all time!"

This book is a powerful way to help teach your child about the impact their life has on others and to instill in them a deeper understanding of how special God has made them. I highly recommend it!

You can pick up a copy, here: The Boy Who Changed the World.