Fifth of August

Currently

2013-05-17T07:00:00.000-06:00

I've been doing the "Currently" posts for a while now, and initially modeled it after Dani's of Sometimes Sweet. I've decided to cut it down a bit, and change it up a little, since it always has felt like by the end of these I'm repeating myself.

Reading The latest, (and last?!), Sookie Stackhouse book - Dead Ever After. I'm about a quarter of the way through it, and before I even started it I dreaded that it wasn't going to end the series the way I wanted it to, which bums me out, but now I'm pretty much convinced it won't end how I like. Although it could surprise me, of course. I'm sad it's the last Sookie book.

Watching The Great Gatsby. Okay... I know I'm in the minority here, but, I really liked it! I thought it was an interesting take on the book, while still staying pretty true to the story, (although not 100% of course). But I love Baz Luhrmann movies. I can probably recite every line to Romeo + Juliet and Moulin Rogue. Singing included. I also have a deep love for Leo, of course, so I was pretty much guaranteed to like this movie even before seeing it.

Listening We saw The Killers last week here live, and it was an amazing show! It was a very fun, energetic performance. As I tend to do after seeing someone live, whether new to me or not, I've been enjoying their catalogue of music pretty much every day. It's like rediscovering their music all over again. My favorite that they did live was actually "All These Things That I've Done", which surprised me, since it wasn't one I particularly loved before.

Loving My Dad randomly showed up to my door a couple weeks ago with a Sirius XM SkyDock. I have been wanting satellite radio in my car for ages, especially since I can't stand half of what I hear on the local radio, and I long ago stopped burning mixed CDs for my car. It was a very welcome surprise! It's awesome because it plays through my iPhone, which I didn't know was even available, (and, bonus, it charges my phone for me while I'm driving around). So in addition to re-listening to The Killers, I've also been listening to lots of new stuff on that sweet little baby.

Anticipating Neon Desert Music Fest! It's on the 25th, so just barely more than a week away, and one of my favorite bands is playing this year - Dragonette! I'm so excited to get to see them play live again, and I'm looking forward to hearing all the other new-to-me bands that day, too.

An Annivesary & Mother's Day Weekend

2013-05-15T14:05:00.001-06:00

Some photos from our anniversary and mother's day weekend. Also stuck in one up there at the top from seeing the Killers last week live, during their encore. (So good.) I promise that in that picture of Tyler with the wine glass that you are really seeing his "Oh, you're taking a picture of me? Well here's my smile"-smile, and that he is not pissed. That is really his normal ol' smile.

Friday was our anniversary, and even though he had other things he probably should have been doing, Tyler took the day off to be with me. Because it made me happy. There was a lot of movie watching and eating involved. We saw The Great Gatsby, which I personally thought was pretty... well, great. HA! We never get to see movies on opening weekend, so that was especially nice. We hit a restaurant, a new-ish local place called Opus, that we had been meaning to try out for about a year, but just never gotten around to. It's probably my new favorite - it was seriously delicious all around, and I already want to go back. The whole menu sounded tasty.

My parents kept the boys for us so that we could have a night not worrying about having to get home early, so of course we came home by 830, rented another movie and were asleep by 11. We both slept in til 9 the next morning, which I can tell you has happened exactly one other time before then, and it was glorious. GLORIOUS.

Saturday we got our little boogers back, so we spent the majority of the day ~~tidying~~ playing and messing in the backyard and outside before the weather turned bad on us and we were forced to move our adventures indoors. Then Sunday was, of course, one of my favorite days of the year. Good ol' dad let momma bear sleep in and made pancakes and bacon and coffee that was ready the minute I rolled my lazy self out of bed. I was also greeted with a blast of "Happy mudder's dayyyy!" from Parker, (and loud squealing from Auggie), followed immediately by Parker shoving a card into my face. For my mothering efforts this year I was rewarded with a Target card and strict instructions to spend it "exclusively" on myself. So I spent a happy hour and a half strolling around Target that afternoon only to realize there was nothing I actually wanted bad enough to spend my card on, (ridiculous, I know), before heading back home to watch my boys wreck the yard some more. In the afternoon we went to my parents to swim and eat and see old family friends, and to meet some new ones.

It was a very lovely weekend. : )

Five

2013-05-10T05:00:00.000-06:00

Tyler and I have been married five years today. In so many ways, it feels like it's been WAY longer, ha! But I guess that's what having two kiddos right away will do to you. In other ways it also feels like our wedding was just yesterday.

//This last one was taken on Monday night at the Killers concert.//

We've been through a lot together, and there is no one I'd rather go through it all with. It's been a happy five years. : ) I love you, T!

Gone

2013-04-29T15:54:00.002-06:00

I have sat down and tried to write this post at least 100 times in the last two weeks, and every time I try I just get too emotional.

Two weeks ago today my mother-in-law, Michelle, passed away. It was Tax Day - the big day we'd been looking forward to for weeks! The day that meant we could breathe a sigh of relief that all the crazy work hours were done with! Tyler was leaving for work just before 7 that morning, and we were saying our goodbyes in the living room when his phone rang. The hair on the back of my neck stood up. I knew only his stepdad, Eric, would call so early in the morning. When Tyler hung up the phone he turned around to face me and he said,
"She's gone."

The details that I did share here on my blog about her were few and far between. I did this out of respect for Michelle's privacy. I did often want to come here and write about what was happening in our family, just to write. To get such heavy feelings off my chest. However, as I said, I didn't, and there was the reason why.

Michelle was diagnosed with a brain tumor, glioblastoma multiforme, in February 2011 - on her 60th birthday. She did remarkably well for nearly two whole years after being diagnosed. She was just incredibly strong about it from the first moment she found out. She wanted to fight it, she wanted to beat it, and she didn't want to waste any time feeling sorry for herself.

Up until about the beginning of this year, she did very well. If someone didn't flat out tell you about it, you would never know that she was fighting cancer. I still ran into her several times a week at the gym, where she worked out with a personal trainer. She would come pretty often and pick up Parker in the afternoons, and take him out to play, and get ice cream. She came over some nights to watch the boys for us while we went out, and put them to bed. She was always astonished at how easy of a baby August was - when we would get home, she would marvel about how happy he had been all evening. Parker always begged for her to swing him on the swing set the second she would step foot through our door, and she always indulged him for as long as he wanted. She went out and bought a swing set for her backyard, so she could swing him whenever we came over there, too. We were accustomed to weekly Sunday night dinners at her house, where she insisted on cooking for us and entertaining, while we raved or ranted about the latest Sons of Anarchy episode together.

//Left: Michelle with Parker at 10 months old in 2009; Right: with August at his first birthday party.//

We moved back to El Paso from Arlington because of Michelle's diagnosis, and I am very happy we did so, especially so quickly. We had a year and a half here at home with her, and that year and half is filled with memories with her that couldn't be traded for anything. By the middle of March, we were all aware that things were moving much more quickly. Tyler's sister came in town most weekends, and we tried to be with her as much as time would allow. One of the last times I was with Michelle, just a few weeks ago now, we were out to dinner with the whole family. There was a long wait at the restaurant, people were spilling out the front doors, Tyler was chasing the kids around, and the other members of our party were lost in the mix somewhere. Suddenly I found that it was just Michelle and I standing there alone together. Even though I consider us to have been close as far as mother/daughter-in-law relationships go, we were probably not as open as some. So, in a rare instance, I moved to stand by her side. I encircled my arm in hers, and leaned my head over on her shoulder. She leaned her head a little back onto mine. We stood there like that for a minute or so before I whispered to her, "I love you." She didn't say anything, she wasn't talking much anymore by that point, but when I looked over at her a moment later, she was crying silently. I loved Michelle very much, but verbal "I love you's" were not common between us... I am glad I had that chance to tell her privately, at least that once, and I hope she knew how much I meant it.

Michelle was the closest person to me that I've ever lost, friend or family. She was kind and generous toward me, and accepted me into her family from the very first moment we met. She was a fantastic mother-in-law, a wonderful grandmother, and an incredible woman. I will miss her terribly.

5K - DONE

2013-03-11T16:07:00.001-06:00

On my birthday back in August, I made this ridiculous promise to myself, (among others), that I would run a 5K. I really don't even fully know what possessed me to do this. And then, stupidly, I told Tyler about it. So then I knew there was no going back on it, because I knew he'd never shut up about "that one time, when you said you were gonna run a 5K by your next birthday... and then you didn't", if I didn't make good on it.

Well... So... I did it! The race was two weeks ago, the annual El Paso Marathon/Half/5K. Tyler didn't train for it at all, and stayed with me the whole time. (Ugh, jerk. I trained for seven weeks!) But it was reassuring to have him by my side. I also made my little mini-goal, which was to finish in under 40 minutes, and we did it in just under 39, so woohoo! Oh, and did I mention? It was my first time since starting training that I was not running on the treadmill... Yeah. I was very sore for a good four days afterwards. Totally different running on pavement.

My hope about training for this was that I would just suddenly love to run. Well, I don't hate running anymore, not like I used to, but I still don't love it. It is growing on me, though. It's good time for thinking and I tend to feel less stressed out on days I've gotten a run in. I think I had always hated running before because I thought I couldn't run. Even back in high school when I think I was in the best shape of my life, I played tennis five or six days a week, and I promise you I could not have run one full lap around the track to save my life. But it's growing on me. And I'm not scared anymore that I just can't. I just know now that if I'm ever being chased by a psychopath with a meat cleaver, I can actually run from them.

// T and I after we finished the race. //

I could have stopped running the second I was done with the 5K two weeks ago, but I've still been keeping at it. I've decided to try running one or two more 5Ks this year. Like I said... I don't love it, but... it's growing on me.

So, anyway, to recap, 26th birthday goals:

~~1. Pay off all of my credit card debt.~~ DONE.

~~2. Run a 5K.~~ BOOM. Done. And hopefully more to come.

3. Finish school... Probably not likely this year. : / But then, it's not really my fault on this one.

Currently

2013-02-28T13:20:00.000-07:00

Yeah. It's been a while. LIFE, what can I tell ya? It's kinda more important than blogging. Perfect timing for a new currently post, though, to bring you back up to speed...

Obsessing over…
Money, school, and running. In that order. To expand on that, without writing a novel...
Money: I've got all of my credit cards paid off - finally/again - and I'm trying to scrounge up some extra money right away to keep me from going right back to old habits. I've cancelled one card, but I have one still open juuuuust in case! I want to have more security and have some money in savings, which I had for a while, but then screwed up and had to use it to pay my cards back off. Ugh. So I've had a garage sale, been selling on ebay and craigslist again, and I'm getting ready to help my Mom have a garage sale at her house, too.
School: A very long story with this, but someone at Tech really screwed up, and as a result I have basically been forced to switch my degree plan, as well as to a different part of the university, and it's been one ridiculous big hassle and a headache. And I will not be able to graduate as soon as I had hoped. And that means not just more time spent, but money, too, (grrrrr). And one of my classes this semester may be just a teensy bit wayfuckingharder than I thought it would be. I'm pretty stressed out about this one.
Running: I started training for that 5K I said I was gonna run. Surprise! I did train for it, and I already ran it this past weekend! (Will hopefully post about that soon.) Anyway, as a result, I've come to like running a little bit. Damn it. So I've been obsessing over what days to run, how far I can run, for how long at a time, etc. It's maddening for me, since I've always sworn about how much I hated running... I still kind of do. Anyway, like I said, hopefully more on that in a new post soon.

Anticipating…
Warmer weather, Tyler's accountant busy season being over, (come onnnnnn April 15th!), the start of baseball season, and what 5K to run in next.

Reading...
I have not done much reading lately, except for classes. So I really haven't had time to finish that bloody On The Road that's still sitting on my nightstand, staring at me judgingly, nor anything else. But I suppose I can count my Greek mythology textbook here? Yes, I think I will count it.

Watching...
Since my last Currently post, I finally picked up Downton Abbey, which my Mom had been nagging me to watch for awhile. So good. I finished the first two seasons before the third started airing, and then I watched that up through the finale last week, of course. Can I just say it? Dan Stevens is a schmuck. Next season will not be the same... Anyway, now I need something new to start on. I'm thinking either Walking Dead or Game of Thrones.

Listening to…
Nothing much. I have listened to "Chelsea Dagger" (by The Fratellis) a lot since I started running, I kind of made it my anthem. So that's been in my head a lot as a result. I think it's fitting... (See: Run Fatboy Run.)

// image //

Anyway. Here are some random photos from the last six weeks or so.

Be Content

2013-02-11T07:00:00.000-07:00

12 in 12

2013-01-06T21:33:00.000-07:00

2012 still isn't quite over and done with. Everyone still has to compile all their "best of 2012" lists and what not! And we still have the the Golden Globes, the Oscars, etc to look forward to celebrating all of last years movies, too, no? Anyway, I found this via miss Camille's blog, and wanted to do it myself.

My 12 Favorite Things in 2012
12. Favorite movie you watched: The Dark Knight Rises. I'm sad it was the last of the Christopher Nolan franchise, though. I loved all three of his Batman movies.
11. Favorite tv series: Girls. Started watching it right as it began in January, and I thought it was awesome right off the bat. I'm so looking forward to the new season beginning next week.
10. Favorite restaurant: A new local one in El Paso, a tapas place called Tabla. Deeee-licious!
9. Favorite new thing you tried: Corduroy leggings... Yep.
8. Favorite gift you got: Errr... not gonna lie. I got some moolah from both my parents and my in-laws for Christmas, and it was greatly appreciated, especially since it basically covered what I had just spent on the boys for Christmas. So yeah, that.
7. Favorite thing you pinned: Ugh, I love everything I pin! Seriously, I don't pin anything I don't like - who does that? But I guess if I had to choose one, then it would be this one:

I probably spent an embarassing amount of time staring at this picture, especially when I first saw it. Spanish Colonial/Spanish Revival is my favorite type of architecture. Funny thing is, I don't even want to take care of a pool or live in a two-story house, or anything even remotely this big. I want a bungalow. But I kept daydreaming about this house and picturing myself in it. It's so beautiful.
6. Favorite blog post: Probably this one about starting back to school and finishing my degree.
5. Best accomplishment: Getting myself back in school.
4. Favorite picture: Almost certainly this one, of the boys candy-drunk on Halloween:

3. Favorite memory: August's first birthday.
2. Goals for 2013: (1) finish my degree (only 8 classes left to take!), and (2) find a house.
1. One Little Word: fast. 2012 went by too fast.

Alsoooo, since I'm posting anyway, I joined a little blog hop for the first time in eons. But since I don't put stuff in my sidebar anymore, (or at least currently), I guess this is how I'll be sharing the button.

So if you're dropping by from that, then leave a comment and say hey!

Lana

2013-01-05T19:47:00.003-07:00

We have a new girl in the house. Meet Lana, our tortoiseshell colored kitty cat.

At least temporarily. Her status as "pet" in our household is pending on two things: 1) whether anyone responds to our Craigslist post about finding her, and 2) if Sadie girl accepts her. This wasn't planned or anything. Tyler and I have said that we'd like a friend for Sadie - a companion, rather, for laying around the house with - but we didn't really know when that would be, or if it would ever come to fruition.

This cat must have known we were suckers right away. She showed up at our house for the first time on Christmas Eve. All four of us were in front, with the garage door open, arranging our luminarias down the sidewalk, and she came strolling right into the garage. I have rarely seen a cat do this, they are usually too cautious, especially with kids around. She didn't run, though, in fact, she rubbed right up against all of us, the boys included, and let us pick her up and pet her. She was super friendly. So we gave her a bit of milk and sat and pet her for awhile, before she decided to run on. So we watched her go, shut our door and figured she had an owner.

We didn't see her again until New Years Eve. This time, she showed up at our front door, and pawed and mewed at it. It was about 30° that night, pretty dang cold. Tyler and I debated back and forth about what to do - whether we should shoo her off, wondering whether she really did have someone to go to or not, and where we would put her if we did let her in, (so as not to upset Sadie). Ultimately, we decided to let her stay in the garage.

We spent the better part of an hour just playing with her, setting her up a little bed of blankets, and feeding her some turkey and water. August was a bit cautious - still is - but is very interested in her, and likes watching her flit around. Parker immediately thought she was already ours. Tyler fell in love.

Our plan the next morning was to crack the garage door - if she left, she left. If she came back, then we would think about it further. So we did just that. She did leave for a little while, but before dark she came back. We closed the garage door and kept her that night, too. We decided to get her checked out at the vet come Saturday, (today, the first chance we would be able to go), to see if she had a chip in her, and how old she was, but in the mean time to still keep her in the garage at night. So we repeated the same process for three more days - leave the door cracked during the day for her to come and go, and close it at night, so she had somewhere warm to sleep. We bought a little cat food and set up a litter box for over night. The boys wanted to spend every evening out there playing with her when Daddy came home. It was a good thing she came back, too, because we got snow this week, and it's been ridiculously cold, so she had somewhere nice to stay and sleep.

Today was finally Saturday and we went to get her checked out. Vet said she's probably 7 months old, which is a little older than we thought, and not chipped. She got her first shots, and sent her on back home with us. We've asked our neighbors, and looked for flyers around the neighborhood, and looked on Craigslist to see if anyone had said she'd been lost, but found nothing... So it looks tentatively as if she is now ours. I am nervous about how Sadie will get used to her, though. She is a big dog, pretty hyper, and in the past has not warmed so well to other animals she's been around. So I feel like I'm trying not to let myself get too attached in case it doesn't work out.

She is the sweetest cat, though. She's pretty talkative, and is friendly with everyone, and is very playful, so I really hope we can make it work. On top of that, I have always been told that cats that adopt you are the best cats, because they are so loyal. My first kitty, Midnight, adopted us, and stayed with us through three moves to different states, and 14 years all together. She was the best. So something tells me this will be an awesome cat.

Oh yes, and the name we've chosen. We said right away that if it was a boy, and we got to keep it, we would name it Sterling, as in Sterling Archer from the FX show. Obviously that was quashed, so we came up with two more we liked before settling on Lana, which is another character from the show. If you've never seen Archer, this video is probably my favorite set of clips from it. It's hysterical, and one of our favorite shows. And we still fit in Sterling, since her full name is Lana Sterling Smith. (Yes, we have given our pets middle names.)

Family Photos

2013-01-03T07:00:00.000-07:00

I posted our Christmas card, but I never did post the rest of the family photos we had done in November, and I still wanted to share a few. I'm just proud and giddy over them because they are our first and only set of photos as a family we've had done, and not since our wedding have we had any professional photos made of us. There were a lot more, but these are my favorites.

Photo credits: Sara Wong Photography.

Currently

2012-12-31T07:00:00.000-07:00

Obsessing over…
Well, back at my birthday I made this ridiculous goal for myself to start running. God only knows why. I actually hate running. I don't run. But I have been suckered into some sort of idea that it would be fun to run a 5K, maybe later on a 10K, maybe eventually a half-marathon... No, probably not ever a full marathon. Screw that! But I have let that goal sit for about four months, and now that the fat-mas holidays are coming to a close, and I need to get back to a good exercise routine anyhow, I figured... well, why not start now? New Year's is as good of time as any for me to start something, because I actually am one of those people that are motivated by new years resolutions. So, I've been "obsessing" over finding a good training plan, a new pair of shoes, and where in the hell this first 5K I apparently plan on doing should be.

Anticipating…
As much as I sound as if I'm purely bitching about it, I am anticipating starting my training plan for the 5K, as well as cutting back on all the crap I've been eating over the holidays. I think I can actually feel how clogged my arteries are. I am actually looking forward to getting back to eating better and working out. I know, I've lost it.

Reading...
I never did get to reading A Christmas Carol this year, boooo! I am still stuck reading On The Road, I've just been too tired at night to want to keep reading. I think I need to finish it before the new semester starts though, as I'm signed up for four classes, one of which is an English class that has about nine novels assigned to it. I'm not really dreading that, per se, but it seems like that will be a lot to get through so quickly, and especially with my other three classes and their material, as well.

Watching...
Parenthood. I think I kept reading about this one through the blogosphere, and decided to give it a go since the first three seasons are on Netflix. It's almost too real for me to stand. The fights between Sarah, and her daughter Amber really bug me. The little boy with Asperger's bugs me. It's screechy-whiny b.s., and I usually hate that in a tv show, but for some reason I kept watching. I suppose I can relate to it a bit - I was a teenager after all, I used to fight with my Mom, and I do have an autistic sister. Maybe that's it. It really is a pretty good show. I won't say it's AWESOME, but it does have me hooked. Good news is, the new fourth season starts tomorrow, so I chose a good time to start watching it, cuz I've finished all of the seasons just in time for the new one.
Edited to add: Ugh, I'm glad I found out in time, but apparently I was a little off - the fourth season already started last September, but the rest of the season starts airing tomorrow night. Which means I still have 11 more episodes before I'm caught up.

Listening to…
We saw a local band, The Dirty River Boys, for the first time right before Christmas. They played with The Lusitania, so of course we went. I had heard about them for years, but for some reason never bothered to listen to them, and they are awesome! They're a bit more country than I usually prefer, but they sound great, and I've been listening to them since we saw them.

Christmas 2012

2012-12-30T11:41:00.000-07:00

I didn't have the camera out a whole lot this year during our various Christmas festivities, but before they become completely irrelevant, I wanted to share a few of the photos I did manage.

// This was taken quite a bit earlier in December, but still wanted to share it. //

// Christmas Eve before Church. //

// Our house all adorned with luminarias. We did our own this year. I love luminarias. //

// Santa's milk and cookies. Yes - that IS a blue leg lamp cookie, à la A Christmas Story. //

// Tyler got a 1 lb. of Reese's cups in his stocking. Can't be Christmas without obnoxiously large candy. //

// Parker in front of my parent's tree. //

We spent both evenings of the 23rd and 24th at Tyler's parents house. Tyler's sister, Jessica and her husband came in on the 22nd, so it was nice to get to spend a little bit of time with them both those nights. On Christmas Eve, after a delicious traditional meal of tamales, we set up luminarias outside of the house, and then we had our gift exchange. Jess gave me the most insanely large candle I've ever seen in my life. I was thrilled, because it's one of my favorite scents, but man is it huge. We got the kids in their new Christmas jammies before going home, and got back to our house in time to light the luminarias in front of our house, put out the milk and cookies, and then read The Night Before Christmas, (although reading it on the iPad feels strangely less fun, I must say).

In the morning, we found that Santa had visited overnight, and had decided that both of the boys had been pretty good after all. Parker got the two main things he asked for this year - a Batcave and a firetruck. Auggie, of course, did not have a clue what was going on, but was pretty happy with the various things Santa decided to bring him - namely a little Batcave, a toy toolbench, and some Batman slippers. Parker got matching Spiderman slippers, which Tyler and I were pretty tickled to see the two of them strut around in. It was a superhero Christmas this year.

We went to my parents in time for lunch, and stuffed ourselves silly on possibly the most delicious ham I've ever tasted. And mashed potatoes... lots and lots of mashed potatoes. And rolls, and broccoli cheese casserole... but the ham and potatoes were the highlight of the meal for me. Afterwards we had our final gift exchange, and then we all layed around lazy the rest of the day, watched movies, and grazed like cows on the leftovers and Mom's homemade pumpkin pie.

We had a really nice holiday, but it went by so quickly! The day after Christmas is always depressing for me, and Tyler went right back to work, too, so that was unfortunate. But the fact that it was a short week, and that he gets this Monday and Tuesday off took a little bit of the sting out of it, I guess. Anyhow, we plan on laying around a lot more for the next couple days, before throwing out all of the various junk and candy, and "slitting our throats" - as Tyler's mom likes to say - for the New Year.

Merry Christmas

2012-12-22T21:27:00.003-07:00

Last month we had the nice experience of having a photo session done as a family for the very first time, (by a professional, that is). I was really thrilled with how they came out, and I had been meaning to share a few of them here, but time has escaped me, as usual. Anyhow, here is my favorite, which I plastered on our Christmas cards we sent out this year. Unlike last year's cards, this year I had absolutely no patience to make them, and went the easy route, ordering from my favorite card site, Tiny Prints. (I'm not being paid to say this, I promise, but I really truly love them and highly recommend them. Their service is always great and their cards are exceptionally beautiful.)

We've been busy, busy, busy the last couple weeks, and I am so excited that we're only a couple days away from Christmas. The excitement is building in both of the boys, too, I can tell, and it makes me happy to see it. I am always quite sad the day after Christmas, so I hope we can really relax and enjoy it all as it comes for the next three more days.

Anyhow. I'll quit now, before I start blathering. Merry Christmas and happy holidays from my family to yours!

Currently

2012-12-02T21:13:00.001-07:00

// My girlfriend Elyse and I. Tyler and I made it out to Dallas for her GORGEOUS wedding. //

// Thanksgiving morning with my little guys... Bedheads. Don't even care. //

Obsessing over…
As of ten minutes ago - really, nothing! And it feels WUNDAFUL! Eleven minutes ago I was still obsessing about my classes. I just turned in the final paper for one of them - early, at that, holy crap go me! - and I feel so relieved. Even if I get slaughtered on the grade for it I'm still probably going to wind up with an A, so that's a pretty nice feeling. My other class I still have a final to take at the end of this week, but I am not worried about it at all. I mean, come on, history of rock and roll? Piece of cake. I loved the class, too, so I'm kind of sad it's over with, but oh well.

Working on…
Obviously was just working on the paper, but now... nothing. I already have all of Christmas decor up, minus a few strands of lights in the front yard. I wanted to get all of the shopping done with early, and I did, last weekend. I hate fighting the crowds, and I always wind up spending more money than I should if I do my shopping later, so that's done with. All of the gifts are wrapped. I ordered our Christmas cards earlier today, too. Basically, it looks like I'm going to be a big lazy, egg-nog guzzling, cookie-making lump the rest of this month. YES.

Anticipating…
Christmas! Well, just the rest of this month, really. I'm in no hurry for it to fly by since I've got all the other things out of the way. I am excited for it, but not overly anxious. I just want to relax and enjoy all the fun little things the rest of this month. You know, making paper snowflakes with Parker, watching Christmas movies, maybe decorating a gingerbread house, seeing all of our friends that will be home for the holidays... All that jazz.

Reading...
I finished the 50 Shades series last month, and then moved on to The Rules of Attraction, and I utterly despised it. The movie was hundreds of times better, in my opinion, if that says anything. Now I'm reading On the Road, which is one of those ones that I've always wanted to read, but never really got around to. Seeing as it's coming out as a movie this month, and I anticipate that I'll be seeing it, I decided it should be next. I'm sure the movie will be crap in comparison to this one, though, but we shall see. Also want to read A Christmas Carol after this month, which is another one I've always wanted to read but just haven't.

Listening to…
I made a Spotify playlist for December, full of some of my favorite slower tunes. No surprise, I associate a lot of depressing - or at least less chipper - music with cold December weather. (Even if I am in El Paso, where it's still been 74 degrees all this week... it will get colder, damn it.) Anyhow, I think I'll be posting that mañana.

Wishing…
For a new pair of socks. Ha. Odd as that sounds, I never think to buy myself socks very often, and lately all of mine seem to have disappeared, (eaten by the dryer!), or have gotten holes in them.

Fire

2012-11-12T16:36:00.000-07:00

What would you grab if your house were on fire? Family are a given. You know - your kids, your dog, your pet turtle Michelangelo. I mean material things. I ask this question of myself a lot. What possessions do I even have that are worth saving? This past summer I was thinking about this question quite a bit, as I was purging a massive, seemingly endless amount of things from our home, giving away to Goodwill and friends, and selling as much as I could on eBay and Craigslist. I just kept thinking: "How did we end up with all of this stuff? When we moved, why did we continue to hang on to twelve extra plastic tupperware lids that are half melted?".

I make it an almost daily habit to look at The Burning House, now. I find it endlessly fascinating to see what other people would take, and I decided to really figure out what I would take in that hypothetical situation.

I'd grab my computer first and probably foremost - as you can see below - but logically, I also know that photos and just about everything else on it are backed up somewhere or another online, so I needn't be too worried about losing those things. I'd be sad to lose lots of mementos I've kept for my boys, as well as ones from my own childhood, but I don't think it would kill me. Actually, if we didn't grab Parker's Tigger tiger, I think that might upset me most. But then, wouldn't that be under the list of things I would hope that Parker would grab? So do I include Tigger or not? What about August's Leo lion? Seriously, these are things I debate with myself. Random "collections" I have would be difficult to fully replace, but in the end they don't mean much to me... that includes books, things like my pretty Fiesta dishes, or the quilts and and cozy blankets I've amassed over time.

So. After thinking about it long and hard, these are the possessions of mine that I would take if my house were burning down:

13" 2010 Macbook
iPhone 4S
Swiss Army jump drive - loaded with all of our important documents that would be necessary if we lost everything
my wedding rings
Giles & Brother sparrow necklace - T gave me for our 3rd wedding anniversary
my copy of Khalil Gibran's The Prophet, given to me by my Mom
copy of Jane Austen's Pride & Prejudice - my favorite
Warby Parker Huxley glasses - I'm pretty blind, actually, so these are necessary
Ray Ban Wayfarer sunglasses
Braveheart Lion - as old as me, given to me as a newborn
quilt given to me by my Mom, made by my great-grandmother

11 material possessions. Every other thing could be either be replaced, or I could live with the fact that they're gone, and cherish the memory of them forever. That's it, and that's the honest truth.

Weekly Gratitude, vol. 10

2012-11-07T08:25:00.000-07:00

It's been a long time since I've done one of these posts, but I thought today was particularly ripe for one. Today, I am especially grateful for one big thing...

// Photo credit: Jason Reed. image //

That I can still, for four more years, call that man right there my president. THANK YOU BABY JESUS!

Trick or treat, smell my feet

2012-10-31T23:59:00.000-06:00

It's been one crazy fun week around here with the kids. On Tuesday night my parents came over to help us all carve pumpkins. Parker was really into it! I was a little surprised, but so happy to see it. Mom helped him carve a regular old jack-o'-lantern, Tyler carved him a Spider-man pumpkin, and I carved August a Batman pumpkin, and myself a Joker one, (although he looks kinda more like Einstein). I can't even count how many times we've watched Hocus Pocus/It's The Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown/Shrek's Halloween this week. I made pumpkin cake, we've had sweets like crazy, and just in general the whole atmosphere in our house has been hyped up on this favorite holiday of ours.

The boys went out trick or treating for a bit early this evening and had a great time. August was content to have a lollipop and just watch his big bro most of the time, and Parker was not as nervous as last year about running up to the doors and screaming "trick or treat!" - plus this year he can actually reach the doorbells. I can't stop laughing at the last photo of them in the wagon from this evening because they look almost drunk off of candy.

All-in-all a pretty awesome night for my little super heroes, I think. I have mixed feelings about Halloween being over already, just because I love celebrating it so much, but I think we did it up good this year.

Corn Maze

2012-10-29T20:15:00.002-06:00

This past weekend we took the boys to the corn maze and pumpkin patch just outside of town. I was a little shocked, truth be told. When I used to go to this in high school, it was just a corn maze. If I'm correct, it had only opened when I was in middle school. It cost maybe $5 a person, and the only other attraction at it was a small concession stand that served hot chocolate and roasted corn. I had planned on taking the boys all week long and was surprised when I was told that they also had a pumpkin patch there, now, too.

Well. We showed up, and there was a hell of a lot more than a corn maze and pumpkin patch. There were special carnival rides. There was a mini-maze for the kids made out of hay bales. There were multiple concession stands with all kinds of food and drinks. There were slides, a jumping balloon, tractor rides, and on and on and on. And it was packed to the gills with people. In fact, there was so much to do there that we didn't even get to do the corn maze before the boys were ready to go. We didn't give ourselves enough time, because we didn't realize how much bigger the whole thing had gotten. I didn't capture most of it, because we were busy chasing the kids around, trying not to lose them in the crowd. Needless to say, though, they both were excited by all there was to do.

I loved being able to take them to this! I hope it becomes another yearly tradition for Tyler and I to do with the boys.

Grand Slam

2012-10-28T21:57:00.001-06:00

We had Parker's birthday party a week ago, and I am just now getting back on track from that exhausting weekend and the long, hectic week that followed it. So, a little recap:

The night before his actual birthday, I taped his door up with streamers and stuffed balloons between them for a big birthday morning surprise. I actually got nervous at the last minute that it might cause screams of terror more than joy, but thankfully he was pretty happily surprised by it. I made his cake, like I do every year, and even though I have practically no decorating skills, I decided to try making a Spider-Man for him anyway, since I knew it would thrill him. Totally patting myself on the back here, but I don't think it turned out half bad! (And he was super excited about it!) We had a little family party for him that evening and took him to play and eat at Chuck E. Cheese -- a little off topic, but I haven't been there since I was a kid myself and their pizza tastes like cardboard. But Parker didn't care about that, of course, and was happy as a clam to be there. Afterwards we went back home and had his cake and opened gifts.

Last Sunday we had his "grand slam" party with all of his friends. I actually didn't plan this party out nearly as much as I did August's party several weeks ago. I ended up kind of pulling it all together within a few days, even though I knew well ahead of time what little theme I was going to do for it. Still, it turned out really well! Lots of his little friends showed up, we rented a jumping balloon, had way, way, way too much food - like always - and let the kids break a piñata. Most importantly, Parker had a total blast. When it comes down to it, that's all that really matters to me, is that he had fun. I don't think I'll ever forget his look of surprise and excitement when the men showed up to set up the jumping balloon. He was almost beside himself.

Parker got lots of really nice gifts, but I was blown away by one in particular: the parents of a boy he goes to school with are very close friends with Colby Lewis, who plays for the Texas Rangers. I am a huge Rangers fan, so like any good parent, I will pressure him forever to like them, too. So, on his party invitations - which were, obviously, baseball themed to show what the party was going to be - I put a photo of him in his Rangers jersey and hat, holding his bat. When they received the invite, they told me they were tickled by it, and asked their good pal Mr. Lewis to sign a shirt for Parker. Soooo, yeah. Parker got a signed shirt from Colby Lewis. I didn't even want to open it at first, but I finally caved, wanting to see the signature. How cool is that?! So sweet of the family and of Colby Lewis. Love!

After the weekend wrapped up, we pretty much lounged around the house all week. I think I wore myself out a little. Both boys came down with horrible colds, and were sick all week, too. We only are just today seeming to get back to normal, and I could not be more relieved. I'm ready for Halloween, and things to completely wind back down again.

Four Years

2012-10-18T12:25:00.001-06:00

Parker - my little man - is four years old today.

Jesus, where is all of the time going?

I've been thinking about his birthday coming up for the last several weeks, and felt like I was ready for it. Then yesterday, the last day he would ever be just 3, I suddenly felt like I wanted to slam on the brakes. I'm not a particularly weepy person, or someone that typically feels down when birthdays roll around, but I've felt a little emotional in the last 24 hours. It didn't help that when he got up this morning, after all of our cheering and birthday singing, he told Tyler and I, "I don't wanna be 4, I just wanna be 3!". Ugh, mama tears! (Of course, after a bit more cajoling, he seemed to brighten up about it.)

I love you Parker! You are such a sweet, smart, wonderful little boy, and I'm so grateful to have you as my child. Happy birthday little dude. : )

Sugar Skulls

2012-10-11T20:58:00.000-06:00

Before I begin this: I've been tinkering with the layout still, and I think something or another I've added or messed with has screwed up my comments system. I'm trying to figure it out, but if you can't comment right now, I'm sorry!

Have I ever mentioned that I have "a thing" for sugar skulls? Well, I do. Love them. Don't know why exactly, but I just do. I think they are beautiful pieces of art, and Dia de los Muertos in general just fascinates me. A couple weeks ago I bought a fat quarter of this Michael Miller fabric online, and it's had me a bit more obsessed than usual since I got it. Well, that and that it's getting close to Dia de los Muertos, of course. Anyhow, it's been a long time since I've done a "Things I Love Thursday", and I thought a nice round-up would be fun.

Wordless(ish) Wednesday: Red

2012-10-10T20:42:00.000-06:00

I can't help it. Every year when Fall rolls around I just crave - yes, literally crave - making the switch to red hair. I just love the warmth of this color during cooler weather. So, yup, I gave in to my "craving" and I got my hair dyed red again! I'm crazy about it, even more so than the last time (and only other time, in October 2010), that I went red. I know that I will want my blonde back again come Spring, but for now I am so happy I did this. It's always refreshing to change up your look, isn't it?

Currently

2012-09-30T20:24:00.000-06:00

Obsessing over…
As per usual, I'm craving some sort of new look for the blog. Although, I've still yet to determine what that should be. So I'm obsessing this week about the layout and tweaks and the header, etc. etc. All very boring to most, I'm sure, since I do this once every two or three months... I just like to change it up! But if you're here, then expect everything to look a little funny for a few days while I figure out what I'm going to do with it!

Working on…
Besides the blog layout, I'm currently procrastinating on doing some work for a paper due in one of my classes this week. Four years away from school and I thought maybe my ways had changed, that I would be more studious... Nope! I'm back to my usual self.

Anticipating…
Parker's "grand slam" 4th birthday! Yes, I decided months ago that P would definitely have to have a baseball themed birthday party this year. I haven't gotten much done or planned for it yet, but I'm getting excited about it. I've just ordered to invitations through etsy - a buy and print item, so they should be ready to go tomorrow - and I have a lot of good ideas brewing for the decor and games. Should be fun with all of his little schoolmates being invited, so I'm excited for it!

Reading...
Fifty Shades Darker. Yup, I finished up the first book last week, and moved right on to the second. It's official: I love Christian Grey in all of his controlling, freaky glory. I am fervently hoping that they make the casting decisions for the movie soon. My top picks for Christian would be Alexander Skarsgård or Ryan Gosling. Either one would be perfect for that role, I think. I am loving the second book much more than the first, and will definitely go right to the third and last book after I finish this one up - hopefully within the week.

Listening to…
The new Dragonette album, Bodyparts, came out last week and it's my new favorite. It seems like it has been a while for me since I last found an album I loved every track on, (or nearly every track). This one definitely makes that cut. It is a very fun album, and I've especially loved listening to it at the gym, this last week - it makes for great workout music.

Wishing…
I've had a cold this past week, and I really wish it would completely leave. It's mostly gone and done with - I think - but it would be nice if I could stop hacking up junk. I also just want it to be gone from our household, so no one else will catch it, or re-catch it!

Shop's Open

2012-09-16T20:39:00.002-06:00

I've meant to make this small announcement here on the blog - since the two are obviously connected - but have just been too distracted with this last very, very busy month to remember to do so. My etsy shop is officially reopened - finally - with all the listings of vintage items I've been hoarding for some time now. I'll be adding blog redesign packages back up as soon as things get more back on track here at home. Lots of prints to be added, too, I just have figure out printing options (only slightly important; if anyone has some recommendations for me please feel free to send them to me).

Stop on by! Might be something you like. : )

The Inevitable Third Baby Debate

2012-09-16T16:33:00.001-06:00

For years I always had my mind made up that I wanted four children. When I first decided this was the number for me - whenever the hell it was that I decided that - I'll admit, my main preoccupation with the number four came from the fact that my mother was one of four siblings. I had always deep down been a little jealous of how tight knit of a group her and her siblings and my grandparents seemed to have been. Actually, I still kind of am.

The other main - and clearly more logical - reason why stems from the fact that I have only one sibling, and being mentally handicapped, she won't ever have a family of her own. Adding to that, my only real extended family comes from my mother's side where I have several cousins and aunts and uncles, and on my father's side none. Tyler is not close to any of his extended family - save one aunt, uncle and cousin - and he only has one sister, as well. We're always keeping our fingers crossed for his sister and her husband to have kids, but so far, our boys are still the only grandkids between either of our parents. I want my kids to be able to grow up in a big, loud, loving family. I have always dreamed of and wanted that to be me and my family, even before I was married.

When Tyler came along we agreed on that: we both wanted a big family. But we said we would take it one child at a time and see how we felt about it. Now that we've had two children, the next question from everyone is always the same predictable one: will you have more? We don't have any damn clue.

We're at something of crossroads now that August has turned one. Our debate comes up nearly every day. Some days, I'm okay with not having anymore. Like, today, for example. Nothing in particular happened to make me say to myself "THANK YOUUUUU, we only have two of them". There were no meltdowns, no epic crying fits, tantrums, or even teething. Just a normal ol' day. But as I sat watching my two boys play together, I didn't find myself yearning for another one to be in the picture. I just felt content with the two wonderful boys I have.

Other days, though, I watch them together and my heart could burst. I want them to have at least one more sibling... or more. I think about how fast August is growing. My baby is already no longer a baby. Very quickly I'll turn around and he'll be two, three, four. Parker will be four in barely a month. I want badly not for us to be done with the baby stage. I want badly for us to have more children, to have a big family to love and be close to. To have that big crazy family I always dreamed I would have, I always saw myself being the mother to. On those days, I am sure in my own mind that I will have another baby.

Then there's the mental battle of "Oh God, we'll have to start all over again." Horrible nights with no sleep, post-partum depression, thousands of diapers and bottles, potty-training, all of the endless amount of baby gear and toys we'll need - not to mention hospital bills, an extra one to add to our insurance, endless more amounts of money. What a negative way to think about it, but it's just true. Those are all reasonable and logical things to have to take into account. We'd be responsible for a third human being's life. Forever.

Then: what if there was something wrong with the baby? It was and still is an intense fear of mine deep down that one of my children would have disabilities like my sister's. I would love any baby regardless of ANY kind of problems, of course, but it is no doubt such a hardship to have to endure. Again, forever. My sister is a wonderful human being, but it is evident how hard it has been to have to raise her and take care of her. My parents deserve a medal for it.

I go in circles, just like this, talking myself in and out of it until I have a headache and have to move on to something else.

As of right now, Tyler swears that we are done having kids. That is his feeling at this moment. My feeling is more like... maybe not right now, but I will not say never. And Tyler seems at least open to this thinking... some days. And really, we don't have to decide - either one of us - right now, right?

Maybe not now, but maybe not never. Just maybe.