Funny Jokes

Man before marriage is like Airtel

2010-04-23T11:33:00.000-07:00

Man before Marriage Is like Airtel…."Aisi Azaadi Aur Kahaan"

After Marriage He’s Like Hutch… "Where R U Go Our Network Follows."

Naughty Student

2009-05-14T11:00:00.000-07:00

Science Teacher: Oxygen is a must for breathing & for life. It was discovered in 1773.
Student Laloo: Thank God ! I was born after that otherwise, I would have died before becoming prime minister..

Racing car ha.......

2009-05-14T10:47:00.000-07:00

Racing car ha.......

Stupid Indian Politician.

2009-05-14T10:43:00.000-07:00

Indian Prime Minister: We are sending Indians to the moon next year!
US President: Wow! How many?
Indian Prime Minister: 7 OBC, 5 SC, 8 ST, 3 Handicapped, 2 Sports Persons, 3 Terrorist Affected, 3 Kashmiri Migrants, 2 MPs & 1 Astronaut.

Side Effect of yoga....

2009-05-14T10:39:00.000-07:00

Yoga teacher to a woman: Has yoga any effect over your husband’s drinking habit?
Woman: Yes, An Amazing Funny Effect !! Now he drinks the whole bottle standing upside down over his head.

Faith Ful Dog.

2009-05-14T10:38:00.001-07:00

Santa has to sell his dog. Banta wants to buy it.
Banta: Is this dog faithful ?
Santa: Yes, I have sold it 3 times earlier also. It is so faithful, everytime it returned back to me.

Looking for earth.

2009-05-14T10:31:00.000-07:00

Rohit: How much the earth is far from here?
Mohit: 1 kilo meter.
Rohit jumped into the sea and asked again: "...In which direction?"
Mohit: Downwards !!

Smart Kid

2008-11-04T21:50:00.000-08:00

एक बच्चा पैदा होते ही नर्स से पूछता है : मोबाइल है क्या?
नर्स : अभी तुम्हें मोबाइल की क्या जरूरत है?
बच्चा : एक मिस्ड कॉल करना है ऊपर वाले के पास कि मैं सही सलामत पहुंच गया।

पहली बार है!

2008-10-15T00:34:00.000-07:00

पहली बार है!
एक दंपत्ति ने जब अपनी शादी की 25 वीं वर्षगांठ मनाई तो एक स्थानीय समाचारपत्र का संवाददाता उनका साक्षात्कार लेने उनके घर जा पहुंचा। दरअसल वे दंपत्ति अपने शांतिपूर्ण और सुखमय विवाहित जीवन के लिये पूरे कस्बे में प्रसिध्द हो चुके थे। उनके बीच कभी कोई तकरार नाम मात्र के लिये भी नहीं हुई । संवाददाता उनके सुखी जीवन का राज जानने के लिये उत्सुक था।
पति ने बताया - हमारी शादी के फौरन बाद हमलोग हनीमून मनाने के लिये शिमला गये हुये थे। वहां हम लोगों ने घुड़सवारी की। मेरा घोड़ा तो ठीक था पर जिस घोड़े पर मेरी पत्नी सवार थी वह जरा सा नखरैल था। उसने दौड़ते दौड़ते अचानक मेरी पत्नी को नीचे गिरा दिया।
पत्नी ने घोड़े की पीठ पर हाथ फेरते हुये कहा - यह पहली बार है । और फिर उसी घोड़े पर सवार हो गई। थोड़ी दूर चलने के बाद घोड़े ने फिर उसे नीचे गिरा दिया।
पत्नी ने अबकी बार कहा - यह दूसरी बार है। और फिर उसी घोड़े पर सवार हो गई ।
तीसरी बार जब घोड़े ने उसे नीचे गिराया तो मेरी पत्नी ने घोड़े से कुछ नहीं कहा, बस अपने पर्स से पिस्तौल निकाली और घोड़े को गोली मार दी।
मैं अपनी पत्नी पर चिल्लाया - ''ये तुमने क्या किया ! तुमने एक बेजुबान जानवर को मार दिया......! क्या तुम पागल हो गई हो ?''
पत्नी ने मेरी तरफ देखा और कहा - ''ये पहली बार है!''

और बस, तभी से हमारी जिंदगी सुख और शान्ति से चल रही है।

Bhajji in news again

2008-10-10T10:04:00.000-07:00

Please vote for bhajji baba....

Mayawati virus

2008-10-10T10:00:00.001-07:00

Mayawati Virus:

Whatever way, it will try to grab resources of the system, it's only task is to abort BJP processes. this virus hangs the system by sending conflicting signals to different hardware units.

Mayawati and kashi virus

2008-10-10T09:53:00.000-07:00

Kashi-Maya Virus:
It's also called the Dalit virus, it destabilizes the co-ordination amongst different resources, It controls & steps the low priority resources from functioning. Lot of scanners available now to kill it. Other viruses are thriving by splitting this virus.

Laloo and Maya

2008-10-09T00:59:00.000-07:00

Politician

2008-10-09T00:45:00.000-07:00

The following is the list of some new viruses going round in India. Better beware of them.

P.V. Narasimha Rao Virus:
First of all, this virus reduces the CPU speed to 66Hz. Before
executing any instruction, it deleberates over it a number of times
and finally does nothing.

Betting Blues

2008-10-08T23:58:00.000-07:00

Gopi saw that his friend Ramu was very depressed.
'What happened?' asked Gopi.
'Yaar, I lost Rs 800 in a bet yesterday.'
'How come?'
'Well, yesterday, the one day match between India and England was being shown live on TV I bet Rs 500 that India would win, but I lost the bet.'
'But that's only Rs 500, where did the rest go?'
'Yaar, I bet on the highlights too!'

Chandigarh or Jalandhar.

2008-10-08T23:42:00.000-07:00

Santa was flying to Chandigarh from Pune. He was allotted a middle seat but decided to take the window seat instead, which had been allotted to an old lady.
The lady requested Santa to exchange the seats and let her sit on the seat allotted to her. He refused, saying, 'I want to see the view from the window.' The old lady complained to the air hostess who requested Santa to sit on his allotted middle seat. Santa was adamant and bluntly refused.
The air hostess went up to the co-pilot. He too came and requested Santa, but in vain.
Finally, the captain of the aircraft came. He whispered something in Santa's ears. Santa immediately vacated the window seat and took the middle seat.
Astonished, the air hostess and the co-pilot asked the captain what he had said to Santa. The captain replied: 'Nothing, I just told him that only the middle seats will go to Chandigarh. All others were going to Jalandhar '

Patient To Doctor.

2008-10-06T03:39:00.001-07:00

Patient to eye doctor: " I'm very worried about the outcome of this operation,doctor.
What are the chances?
"Eye doctor to patient: " Don't worry you won't be able to see the difference.

Beast of burden.

2008-10-06T03:35:00.000-07:00

A Haryanvi peasant was walking down the road carrying a heavy sack of grain on his head. A kindly sardar farmer drawing his bullock cart offered him a lift. The Haryanvi gratefully accepted the offer and sat down in the cart but kept the sack on his head. ‘Chaudhury, why don’t you put the sack down in the gadda?’‘Sardarji’, replied the Haryanvi, ‘your cart is already heavily loaded. I don’t want to put more burden on your poor bullock’.

Pandit request to God...

2008-10-06T03:18:00.000-07:00

Pandit: Bhagwan, agar tum muje 100 rupe do, to 50 rupe main mandir me dunga.
Thodi dur ja k Pandit ko 50 rupye mil gaye.
Pandit: Wah Bhagwan, itna bhi bharosa nahi, apne paise pehle hi kat liye...

Doctor Santa

2008-10-05T10:29:00.000-07:00

Santa Singh MBBS

After finishing his MBBS, Dr. Santa Singh starts his Own practice.

He checked his first patient’s Eyes, then the tongue, and finally the Ears using a torch.

Finally he said Battery is Ok !!!

Banta wife painting wall.

2008-10-05T10:24:00.000-07:00

A person went into the office kitchen one morning and found a Sardarni painting the walls. She was wearing a new fur coat and a nice denim jacket.

Thinking this was a little strange, he asked her why she was wearing them rather than old clothes or an overall.

She showed him the instructions on the tin, “For Best Results put on Two Coats”

Side effects

2008-10-05T09:45:00.000-07:00

Santa asked banta :

Why did you cut the sides of the capsule before taking it?

Banta replied.

To avoid side effects!!!

Santa kiss.

2008-10-05T09:42:00.000-07:00

Santa saw a beautiful girl… He went and kissed her….
Girl said- “What R U doing…?”
Santa replied- ” B.COM from Kh college, London

Banta with phone..

2008-10-05T09:40:00.000-07:00

Banta: For the past one week a girl is disturbing Me.
I don’t know how she got my no, she interrupts whenever
I call someone and says “please recharge your card”

Simpu in park

2008-10-05T09:27:00.000-07:00