Some Times In Our Lives

Happy Halloween

2011-10-31T20:03:00.000-07:00

Maddie's Monkeys

2011-10-10T18:03:00.000-07:00

Ok. Ok. I know. It's been WAY too long since I've updated the blog, but seriously, we're just too busy and something had to give. That doesn't mean I don't think about it, and I really want to give you all an update and there are a million pictures that I have to share, but it will have to wait until I have a little more time. So for now, I'm just going to tell you about Maddie's Monkeys.

We're doing the Buddy Walk again this year, although the name's been changed to The Three Rivers Dash for Down Syndrome, and we changed Maddie's team name to Maddie's Monkeys instead of Maddie's Mavericks because, well, she LOVES monkeys and we thought that should be represented in her team name. The Dash is a little less than a week away and combined with the checks people have sent in and donations through the website, we've already raised $1190 for the Down Syndrome Association of Pittsburgh. If you'd like to donate, follow this link: Maddie's Monkeys, even $5 will help! We feel so lucky that our friends and family have been so incredibly generous and supportive to have helped us raise that much in such a short period of time! You are all amazing and we are so lucky to have you in our lives and part of "Team Maddie"!! Thank you, thank you, thank you!! And I promise, a real update soon!!

Dear Aiden

2011-07-14T05:08:00.000-07:00

You just turned 4, and I am amazed that time has gone by so quickly! Sometimes it's hard for me to realize that you're not a baby anymore. You still love to cuddle in my arms, but instead of a little 8 lbs. baby, you're a 28 lbs. little boy, who is hilarious, sensitive, loving, cautious, curious about the world, and just so much fun to be around! You know how and which buttons to push to drive me crazy, but you also know how to make my heart soar and laugh like no one else (well maybe Maddie, but that doesn't count).

I know that things aren't always easy for you. You hear the phrases "Not right now," "Mommy just has to..." and "Hold on" more than I'd like. We are often busy with lots of appointments and school and you have had to learn how to let Madelyn come first a lot of times, but some of that is just part of growing up, and you are so amazingly patient! I hope that we have provided you with enough opportunities throughout this past year to show you how important you are to us. You and Daddy go on little Daddy/Aiden Dates and he enjoys taking you on Friday mornings to get Dunkin Donuts, to the park, or just run errands together. I wish you and I had more time to do Mommy/Aiden things, but we sneak it in when we can, usually while Maddie's napping. :)

You are such a wonderful big brother to Madelyn. You help her during therapy, hold her hand when she's hurt, keep her from getting into too much mischief, and play with her when she gets into your toys. I'm sure you will both have times when you won't want the other around and I'm sure the fighting and sibling rivalry will someday come, but for now you are the best of friends. I'm in awe of your love for your sister, and I'm so lucky to be able to have a glimpse into your relationship. I hope that it only continues to grow stronger.

You started school this year and loved every second of it. You have asked me almost every day this summer if you are going back to school soon. When I reply that it will be awhile before the new school year, you get sad because you're that eager to go back to school and be with your friends. Your two best friends at school this year were Caleb and Lochlan. Some of your other friends were Francesca, Rio, and Laurel. Unfortunately, Caleb's dad took a job in Tennessee and moved away. You were heartbroken and cried for days. When you found out that Caleb wasn't going to be able to be at your birthday party, you told me that if Caleb didn't come then you didn't want anyone to come. I finally convinced you to invite Lochlan, and you couldn't have been more excited to have your friend there. The two of you played in your room and you even told me that I wasn't allowed in there. You had a sly look on your face wondering if you were going to get away with telling me you didn't want me in your room to play with you. I left feeling so happy for you and so sad for me that you are growing up and asserting your independence. Your world is growing and expanding beyond me and as wonderful as it is to watch, it's also sad for Mommy, but I'm so incredibly proud of you!

Speaking of being proud, a recent conversation went something like this:
You: DON'T BE TOO PROUD OF ME!
Me: Can I be a little proud?
You: No!
Me: Ok, I'm not proud at all.
You: Ok, good.
Me: (whispering) But, you know I'm proud, right?
You: Oh yes, yes!
I may not be allowed to say it to you right now, but I can tell you here, I am incredibly proud of you! I'm not sure you'll be able to know how proud until you have kids of your own someday, but you are an amazing little boy and if I had a choice between you and all the other little boys in the world to be my baby, I would chose you a million times over and over!

This year you have been fascinated by sharks, Spiderman, Transformers and tornadoes. Your favorite color is red (because of Spiderman), your favorite songs are "We are the Dinosaurs" by The Laurie Berkner Band, and "Snow is Gone" by Josh Ritter (but only when it's spring or summer, you refused to allow us to listen to it during the winter because the snow was not, in fact, gone), your favorite shows are The Backyardigans and Wild Kratts. Your favorite building in "downtown Pixburgh" is the UPMC building, and every time you see it you remind us.

You have learned how to write most of your name, however still need a little help with the e... but we just tried a new tactic and I think you've got it! You like to pick out your own clothes to wear in the morning and recently you have demanded to only wear the Spiderman outfit you got from Mimi and Granddad for your birthday. You fell out of a tree while climbing it and Daddy raced to your rescue, expecting you to be crying, but instead you pushed him away and said you needed to practice again so that you didn't fall next time.

You changed the slogan on Aiden Cafe from "Here it's personal", to "I believe you'll like it", to "Ideal", to "That's how it is". You have funny sayings, like "Comfy cozy, I call it, comfy cozy" and "Dreams are like gummies, you can't have them all day" (you are wise beyond your years) and when Daddy told you that you were his best friend, your response was, "Something like that".

You know almost everything there is to know about sharks and have read almost every book in the library about them. When you learned that more sharks are killed by humans every year than humans are killed by sharks, you wanted to lock up every person that killed sharks in a cage and tell them to stop. You will only eat eggs if they are green, and mostly eat oatmeal every morning for breakfast, but only if it's maple and brown sugar because you think it's better with sugar, what you don't know is that I get the kind that is "reduced sugar". You cried with me when we had to cancel Maddie's first birthday party because Daddy was sick, but then you celebrated with me and Maddie when no one else was here.

You insisted that we buy you a bow tie like the one the Cat in the Hat wears, but then refused to wear it until you saw an episode of The Backyardigans where Pablo was pretending to be Dames Bond... and no, that's not a mistake, I said Dames. You still take afternoon naps most days, but I like the days you skip them because it gives me some time to spend just with you.

You are an amazing little boy and I can't wait to see what the next year brings for you. I'm so lucky to be your Mommy and have a front row seat to watch you become the person you are going to be! Thank you for giving me the best job in the world! I love you!

-Mommy

Wild Wednesdays

2011-07-11T20:34:00.000-07:00

Wednesdays are the only day during the week that we don't have appointments and in an effort to make something of our summer, I decided to take the kids on outings those days. A few weeks ago I took them to the Carnegie Science Center because we had been talking about going there for a while. Luckily for us, The Science Center has this awesome deal for families receiving Medical Assistance (MA), and since Maddie not only has private insurance, but also receives MA, we were able to get into The Science Center for $1 each... and since Maddie's under 2, she got in free!

When we got there Aiden saw a giant ad for one of their OmniMax Theatre shows called Tornado Alley. Since Aiden has been interested in tornadoes for some time and we only spent $2 to get in, I decided that we could splurge a little and go see the movie. We bought some popcorn (which was spilled before we even got in line for the theatre, and there was crying and sobbing and cleaning up and then Mommy saved the day with treats she had in her bag), entered the theatre, found our seats, and unloaded. As we were waiting for the show to start, I began to think about all that could possibly go wrong. What was I thinking taking a 3 year old and a 17 month old to a movie by myself?!?!?

We were sitting as far away as possible from the exit and in the middle of the row, so I packed everything and everyone up and we moved as close as possible to the exit. Then I started to wonder about the movie itself, I didn't know anything about it and the possibility that it was inappropriate for a 3 year old and was going to scar him for life was high. This was not a movie about cute, cuddly animals in the wild. It was about storms and thunder and lightning and tornadoes and people going out into the middle of them trying to film them. Clearly, I didn't think this through before I bought the tickets. At least we had moved near the exit and had a clear shot of getting out before we ruined the movie for everyone.

Throughout the entire movie, I was on edge, waiting for it to be too much for Aiden or Maddie and ready to leave at the slightest sign that someone was going to lose it. Turns out, I was worried for nothing. Aiden loved every second of it, and I was able to keep Maddie happy with snacks for most of the movie. During one part of the movie, Aiden leaned over to Maddie, who was sitting on my lap, hugged her and told her he loved her. Just a spontaneous hug, which melted my heart! I wish I had been able to take a picture of it, it was so sweet!

After the movie, we continued on throughout the center.

They had an entire miniature railroad and village set up and Aiden was in awe of it! He kept exclaiming, "Look, Mommy! A train!!" every 5 seconds.

He had no idea who C-3PO was, but took a picture with him non-the-less. Can't you tell how excited he is about it??

Aiden is obsessed with sharks and sharks live in the ocean. So when he saw this "submarine" he was in heaven!! He probably played in it for 45 minutes while Maddie and I stared at the fish in the tank next to it. Every time another kid would come in he would go into this elaborate explanation about what they were doing to find sharks in the sub and even managed to include some things about tornadoes into his imaginary play. It was pretty cute, but Maddie and I got pretty bored after awhile, although you'd never know it from this picture!

I finally convinced him that there was more to see and that we should move on. Little did I know that there was a water area awaiting us. So we spent the remained of our time playing with the little ping-pong balls in the water.

And, little sister wanted to play oh-so-badly! She's doing some AMAZING things lately... there will be a post on it soon!

Then she started to put the balls in her mouth, so she and I went to a little side area where we could still watch Aiden, but play with some other things that we were less likely to choke on.

We had a great day at the Science Center and can't wait to go back, because we didn't even get to go into the SportsWorks area, and we'd like to take Grant with us, too!

The week after we visited the Science Center, we went to the Pittsburgh Zoo and PPG Aquarium, however I don't have any pictures from our visit there. It was pretty crowded and I was by myself with both kids and Aiden wanted to walk most of the way through so my hands were pretty busy with the kids. We, of course, had to see the sharks first. Then, we saw a baby sea lion that Aiden fell in love with, Maddie loved the water fountain that was in with the sea lions. Maddie threw her giraffe sun hat out of the basket of the stroller and I thought it was lost forever, then I had to go back later because some wonderful person turned it in to lost and found. Maddie threw a few more things out of the basket of the stroller, but luckily I noticed those. And finally we got to see a live animal presentation and Aiden answered one of their trivia questions for the audience correctly! It was a great, exhausting day as well!

I'm loving our Wild Wednesdays! We get out of the house and do something that's fun just for the kids; no appointments, no chores, no schedule and it makes me wish everyday was Wednesday!!

Some Times In Our Lives

2011-06-17T21:19:00.000-07:00

To say that we have been busy, may be the understatement of the year. I have been trying to update the blog for over two months now, and it always seems to be the last thing on my to-do list, but the one thing I want to do the most.

I'm trying to cut myself some slack for being so behind, after all I do have two kids, a husband who works full-time and is a part-time student (at least for the summer), and I have been busy becoming a doula (and attending my first two births) and getting into a graduate program in counseling! On top of that, Maddie has had all of her regular appointments, plus a couple extra, the cat got an ingrown dew claw, we started cloth diapering, I threw a baby shower, there was a trip home, and friends and family who visited, Aiden finished his first year of preschool and Maddie started not only crawling on her knees, but pulling up on everything and cruising, which is constantly keeping me on my toes. Now, I'm busy starting a graduate assistantship, planning another trip home, an overnight getaway to Bloomington for our 7th anniversary, and a certain someone's 4th birthday party... I'm exhausted just thinking of all of it!

But, now that June is here things seem to be slowing down (slightly), and I have a little time to catch up.

So, where to start?

Maddie's on the move these days. She's into everything, and getting stuck everywhere!

Here are a few pictures from Easter. I meant to have an entire post dedicated to each of these events, but... well, you know.

Maddie's first time on the swings

Eagle Creek Park... We have a picture somewhere of Me, Dad, Barb and Tom when Tom and I where little in front of this tree stump.

We met up with my friend Lindsay and her kids, Lilly and Jack, while we were home. We're at the Earth Discovery Center at Eagle Creek Park in Indianapolis.

The infamous Easter Bunny Cake!

My brother and his family came over to Granddad's house for an Easter Egg Hunt.

Aiden and my niece, Cali.

Uncle Austin took all the kids for a ride on his skateboard... BEST UNCLE EVER!! The kids LOVED it. I'm not sure he knew what he was signing up for though, because the kids didn't want to stop!

Enjoying the Easter Bunny Cake

I LOVE this picture of the 3 of them!

My BFF, Lindsay, and her family came to Pittsburgh to visit. We had a blast, and Aiden just LOVED hanging out with Lilly. He cried when we had to say goodbye... and so did I. But, while they were here we went to the Children's Museum and the Zoo. It really made me wish we lived closer to them and that we were able to do things like this more often!

Princess Lilly in the castle. I love her pose!

Aiden showing Bryan the video about how to make construction paper. I think they FINALLY made it through the entire video before someone came up and hit a button to change it to another video, something Aiden's been trying to accomplish for years!

Lindsay climbing the rope ladder.

Maddie and Jack chillin' in the strollers. Maddie's wishing I had brought her Sophie the Giraffe to chew on.

There were some disagreements over who's whale this was, Lilly's patiently waiting her turn.

We waited over an hour while everyone else ate lunch to have this Spiderman mask painted on... this cute, shy smile was worth it. Did I mention he's now obsessed with Spiderman?

The baby shower. Our good friends Jake and Alyssa are having a baby girl at the end of July! So of course we needed to throw them a shower. The theme corresponded with her blog: What Was Old... An exploration of simple living.

We had everyone bring a retro or recycled toy for Baby Melby individually and went it on a couple bigger items as a group. I also got a bunch of used onesies at Once Upon a Child, and had the guests use (mostly) scrap fabric to decorate them with. The men really got in on this, and, in my opinion, their onesies ended up turning out the cutest! It was fun watching everyone get creative and turn old, used onesies into personalized, one-of-a-kind gifts for Baby Melby.

Sticking with the toy theme, I made a baby block cake out of chocolate and butter cake and fondant. I have never worked with fondant before, and I'm not too keen on the taste of it either, so I also had a back up cake with buttercream icing.

I love this picture! It's as if Grace is saying, "Listen girls, I gotta tell ya, it's hard growing up." Zoe looks a little concerned about this, and Maddie's bitting her fingernails, she's so nervous.

The Theatre Babies: Zoe, Maddie, Milo, Grace, and Aiden

Milo putting the moves on Maddie... we may need to have a talk.

Congratulations Jake and Alyssa! We're so happy for you guys!

The rest of the pictures are just random pictures of the kiddos being sweet.

This was before Aiden pulled every single book off his bookshelf.

After. He pretended he was a librarian checking the books back in as he put them on the shelf. It wasn't easy at first, but once he started making a game out of it, it went much quicker.

Super Spy Aiden. He requested to wear the button down shirt and the bow tie. He wore them the entire day while we were running errands. He changed into his swimsuit for a little while to play with the water table, but when he was done he immediately wanted to put his Super Spy outfit back on.

Maddie during OT... yay for messy play! She wasn't sure about it at first, but came around a little bit by the end.

I love them so much and I can't believe how big they are getting! Every day there is something new and exciting! I am so lucky to be their Mommy, and I am reminded of that every day!

The R-Word

2011-05-01T20:09:00.000-07:00

This isn't what I intended to write about when I sat down this evening. I intended to write about our week vacation, Easter weekend, or the weekend we just had with my BFF and her family, but an incident this week with someone involved closely with Maddie's day-to-day life has me pretty upset. I'm more upset that I didn't say anything when it happened, but I will be talking to this person this week and needed the chance to gather my thoughts.

Words are powerful. They are meaningful. They set a scene, describe emotions, and tell a story. They can sweep someone off their feet or completely bring them to their knees. Words can be beautiful (opulent), ugly (pustule), or funny-sounding (onomatopoeia).

However, I believe there are some words used in the English language that should not be repeated. They are derogatory, demeaning, and hurtful. I believe in freedom of speech and the right to use words to express yourself, but words that shun a whole group of people to make yourself appear to be better than that group are unacceptable. The N-word, the F-word (and it's probably not the first f-word that comes to mind), and the R-word are all words on this list.

The use of the R-word is particularly important to me, but it hasn't always been. In high school I frequently used the word. During college, someone brought to my attention how offensive the word was. I had never thought of it that way, but when it was explained to me, I began to understand and removed it from my vocabulary. But, it wasn't until Maddie was born that I truly became aware of how unjustifiable and reprehensible this word is.

I have tried to explain to myself why I hate this word so much and why it is so hurtful for me to hear people use it. This is the best way to describe it that I can think of: When you use the word retard or retarded, in ANY context, you are essentially saying that you, or whomever you are speaking about, are SO dumb/stupid/idiotic/etc. that you are like my daughter, who will most likely have some sort of delay in her intellectual development. As if being like her would be so detestable, so deplorable, that you can't think of any other insult to describe that person or thing.

Most people will say something to the effect of, "But I would never say that word to, or in reference to, someone who had intellectual disabilities". "I was only referring to myself, so it's no big deal". Let me be clear, it does not matter what context you are using it in. You are sending a message to my daughter, by using that word, that you think she is somehow beneath you, that you are better than her, and therefore she is unworthy of the same respect that you should receive. You are telling her that the only worthy quality of a person is how smart they are and that none of her other qualities are important.

I don't know what Madelyn's intellectual abilities will be. However, what I do know is that she is a smart girl. She wants to learn and learns things she's excited about very quickly. She also has many wonderful qualities. She is funny, loving, beautiful, loves music, singing and dancing, and is a joy to be around. She enriches my life every single day and has taught me so much that I otherwise would have missed out on had she not come into my life. She is worthy of every possibility life has to offer her and does not deserve for ignorant people to flippantly demean her. When you know better, you do better. Think before you speak, words do hurt. If you hear someone use the word, let them know the word hurts. Do your part to help Spread the Word to End the Word. Choose to make Maddie's world a little less harsh, a little less hurtful. If she could talk, I know she'd do the same for you.

Loving Holland

2011-04-13T20:18:00.000-07:00

WELCOME TO HOLLAND

by Emily Perl Kingsley.

c1987 by Emily Perl Kingsley. All rights reserved

   I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability - to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It's like this......
   When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip - to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting.
   After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, "Welcome to Holland."
   "Holland?!?" you say. "What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy."
   But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay.
   The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different place.
   So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.
   It's just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around.... and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills....and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.
   But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy... and they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say "Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned."
   And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away... because the loss of that dream is a very very significant loss.
   But... if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things ... about Holland.

I first came across this essay in a class I took at Pitt. At the time Aiden was 2 months old, and I was feeling lost, afraid, scared, and felt like being a mom was nothing like anything anyone had ever prepared me for... ever. I was still adjusting. I could related to the poem, not because I had a child with special needs, but because I felt like people were telling me that being a mom was going to be one way, and it was anything but. While I realized that I was in Italy with Aiden, there was something about the essay that stuck with me.

A lot of things are kind of blurry after the Dr. told us about Maddie, and I'm not exactly sure who brought up the essay first, it might have been the social worker at the hospital, or Grant's mom, or the Coordinator at the Down Syndrome Center, but wherever it came from, I knew immediately what they were referring to before they even finished explaining what the essay was about. I knew that these people were bringing up the essay to help comfort us, and in Grant's mom's case, because she loves us and was trying to ease the pain. And, I appreciated the gestures. But, I was so angry that I couldn't even bring myself to reread the essay. I didn't need to, I knew what it said and I wanted nothing to do with it. I didn't want to look at all the beautiful, wonderful, amazing, and fantastic things that Holland had to offer. I wanted to be back in Italy, and I didn't want anyone referring to what I was going through to a trip. Because, the pain and devastation I felt could never compare to the disappointment you may feel about not getting to see Italy. This was deeper, harder, and more powerful than that.

It took me a few months before I was able to reread the essay. When I did, it made me feel like I wasn't so alone, but I was still angry, and I still hated Holland. That is, until Maddie started to show me all the wonders that Holland has to offer. At 7 weeks old, Maddie started rolling ... 7 weeks!! Then Maddie started smiling, and then laughing, and sitting, and inch-worming and here we are at 14 months and she's still showing me all the amazing things Holland has to offer. And, it's not just the developmental aspects of Maddie that are so amazing. There is something about that little girl that is so much more than other kids. I can't explain it, I can't put my finger on it, but she lights up the room she's in. She draws strangers to her, she captivates them. When she looks at you, she makes you feel like there's nothing in the world that she'd rather be doing than sitting there with you and studying you. She is beautiful and sensitive and sweet and had I not ever visited Holland, I never would have seen or experienced these things. There are still times that I am jealous that Maddie didn't take us back to Italy, but there are more times that I think people should be jealous of us because they won't ever visit Holland. I get the best of both worlds, Italy and Holland. People who visit Italy over and over are missing out!

These days, Maddie has been showing us more of the wonders of Holland and I'm loving it! I can't get enough of her. She thinks she's a rock star. And, frankly, so do we! But before I go into the reasons why, here's a picture of her "mad baby" face. This is the face she gave me when she realized that I had the camera in my hands. I can only imagine that she will perfect this look as a teenager, however, right now it's pretty cute and funny! I love the furrowed brow!

She quickly warmed up to the camera and gave me a happy face! Do you notice what else she's doing? That's right. She's sitting up, and she got there all by herself!! This is how I found her when I went to pick her up from her nap. I don't think she knew what I was making such a big deal over, but she was just happy that I was happy. I don't know exactly how she's doing it, because I have yet to see her in action, but I couldn't be happier!! She's done it three times since then.

Aiden was so proud of his baby sister, too, that he went and got his camera to take pictures as well.

And, as if that wasn't enough, Maddie decided four days later that she was going to pull herself into a stand. That's right... she's standing now, too! This was the 2nd time she had done it, and luckily I remembered the camera on my phone! Like sitting up on her own, she's only done this a couple of times, too. But, it's just the beginning and now that she knows she can do it herself, I have a feeling that there's nothing to stop her!

I'm excited to see what else my little tour guide has to show us, but Ms. Kingsley was right, once you adjust, catch your breath, and learn the language, you can see that Holland is beautiful and wondrous and, frankly, there's no place I'd rather be.

School Pictures

2011-03-29T12:24:00.000-07:00

Today Aiden had his first school pictures ever taken. I have been so excited about this, imagining us years from now proudly displaying his cute preschool photo at his high school graduation open house. I imagined how it would start off the entire book of photos taken all the way through school, how he will change over the years until you can see a glimpse of what he looked like as a kid, but without the photo to prove it you wouldn't have guessed it was him. I dreamt of his cute crooked smile showing a little bit of his front two teeth, one which is pushed up further than the other from a combination of sucking his thumb and a chair falling on him when he was a baby, his huge eyes and eyelashes that seem to open the world to him, and his cute little button nose. I expected ooo-ing and ahh-ing over his sweet little pictures and trying to decide which one looked just right to send out to all our family and friends.

What I didn't expect was for his "rudiculus" (or ridiculous) faces to be captured on ~~film~~ digital image forever.

And that's just what happened. His teacher warned me right before she handed me the photos that he just wanted to make ridiculous faces, so they let him do that and then they had him smile for real. I want to know why I didn't get any of the smiling photos?!?

I do have to say that the upper left picture isn't a ridiculous face, but his "I'm shy and not sure what's going on" face. I love that face!! But the rest are pretty goofy, so it looks as if he didn't stay shy for too long! What a funny boy!

So, once again, my children are teaching me a lesson... don't imagine grandiose scenarios that would never come true in a million years, instead get the most outrageous picture to torture him with when he's a teenager! :) Ha ha! I love you, Stinker!

Family Fun Day

2011-03-27T20:18:00.000-07:00

Normally, our days are spent feverishly running from one thing to the next. From the time we wake up, until the time we go to bed we are busy with school drop-off and pick-up, errands, therapies, etc. I feel like at any given moment I'm juggling 12 different things and trying to keep everything together and on schedule. This hasn't always been the case.

When Aiden was little, we didn't have much of a schedule except for what time naps started. We had the freedom to do what we wanted, when we wanted. It was wonderful! Often times, we'd just pick up and go to the library, Zoo, Children's Museum, or just for a walk around the block. We also used to have PJ days, where we would spend the day in our PJs, ignoring everything else that needed to be done, and just play the whole day away. It was great!

With the addition of Aiden's school and Maddie's therapies and various appointments, we don't have much unscheduled free time, and the free time we do have is mostly spent playing catch-up with things we have neglected due to our schedule.

Lately, I have been feeling overwhelmed by how on-the-go our lives seem and have felt like I just can't catch-up to everything. Then, last week Maddie had an appointment at the Down Syndrome Clinic at The Children's Hospital of Pittsburgh and it was determined that we need to add Occupational Therapy into our schedule. I nearly lost it. This will be our 4th therapy every week. Don't get me wrong, I love our therapists and the work they do with Maddie. Even if it seems like we're not making much progress, I know in the end it will make a world of difference in Maddie's quality of life down the road. However, I just want those days back that I had with Aiden and I want Maddie to be able to experience them, too. I want to be able to pick up at the drop of a hat on a suddenly warm day and go to the Zoo. I want to drop in at the library just because we have nothing else to do that day. I want to wake my kids up from their naps and go on a walk because it's sunny out and we haven't seen the sun in what feels like months. I want to wake up and decide that we can put our errands off until tomorrow because what's important today is to stay in our PJs and play all day long with my babies, and that's exactly what we did today. It was heaven!!

I know all of the appointments we have for Maddie are going to give her the best possible start that she can get, but having time to be a family is also what is best, not only for Maddie, but for the rest of us as well. I know that in the coming months things are going to get pretty hectic, but you can bet that I am going to be building these fun days into our schedule from now on!

Look Who's Signing!

2011-03-13T09:19:00.000-07:00

When Aiden was born, I was interested in learning some basic sign language to help him communicate with me. I learned a few things like "milk", "more", "eat", and "drink", however he really never needed them. Then, when Maddie was born, I decided that I was going to be more aggressive with learning sign language since there is a high likelihood that she will have some delayed speech. When she was less than 2 months old I took a Baby Sign Language class and was waiting for the readiness cues they said to look for.

She started waving "hi" and "bye" a few months ago and since then, I have been working on teaching her "all done" and "more". Well, at 11 months she nailed them, and quickly! Here are some recent videos to prove it.

A few weeks ago, during a particularly hard session of physical therapy, Maddie was getting frustrated and turned to Diane, our PT, and signed "all done" to her. It was so cute and so funny! Unfortunately, we were not "all done". At the end of the session Diane said to Maddie, "Ok, now we're all done" and she signed it again and smiled and clapped! Like, "Yes! Finally, we're done!".

And, she also loves a good game of, "How big is Maddie?" Even though I'm super proud of Maddie's "so big", my favorite part of this video is Aiden and his exasperation over trying to explain to us that Maddie is not, in fact, "so big". He's so funny!!

We're now working on "help" and "play". Those are a little harder, but I bet she picks up quickly, just like she did with these!

Spring Break

2011-03-11T20:38:00.000-08:00

This week was Spring Break for Grant. We thought about trying to get out of town for a little while, but unfortunately, we just had too many appointments and a few that we couldn't cancel. So we decided to make the best of the time that we did have and do things around the Pittsburgh area that we haven't gotten around to doing yet.

One of the things on our to-do list was to visit Lilliput Town Center. Basically, it's a miniature town made out of playhouses that are designed to look like real buildings. There was a market, a coffee shop, a theatre/tv studio, a doctors' office, a mechanic, a train station, and Aiden's favorite, a fire station.

Aiden spent most of his time fixing cars,

shopping at the market,

and putting out fires.

Maddie entertained herself by playing with her baby doll, whom she has fallen in love with (however, the dolls could never replace her beloved monkey).

(Please notice her big Buddha belly... I'm totally in love with it!)

Aiden had a blast, and I loved watching how excited he was about being a fireman!

Then today we had big plans to go to the Carnegie Science Center since we've never been there, but last night it was predicted that we were getting 4-8 inches of snow (On a side note, I want to mention that we didn't even get 1 inch. At the most it was a dusting, which has mostly melted. Oh well.). So, we decided that we would have a day were we just hung around the house.

I can't remember the last time we didn't have somewhere to go, something to do, or someone coming over and it was the most wonderful day we've had in a long time. I felt like we were able to reconnect as a family. We played with blocks and babies, built tents and towers, baked muffins and napped. There was very little whining or crying, and mostly just playing and smiles and laughter. We ordered pizza for dinner, got both babies bathed, jammied, and then read books. The kids were in bed by 8pm, happy and content. Then Grant and I spent the night watching a couple of TV shows. It was a perfect day and one that I will use to refuel me when I'm feeling stressed and hurried.

I'd still like to visit the Science Center, but I wouldn't trade today for anything! Tomorrow we go back to our real life and our Spring Break will be over. Grant goes back to work and things go back to normal. Next week is extremely hectic and I'll be away from the kiddos for most of the day Wednesday, Thursday and Friday, but today was enough to help get me through when I'm missing them! Best. Day. Ever.

Hiatus

2011-03-07T19:00:00.000-08:00

So I promised that big things were coming, and they did. However, I didn't get around to blogging about them.

Maddie's birthday came and went. We had a big celebration planned, but unfortunately had to cancel it the morning of, due to Grant having the flu. I actually don't think I've ever seen Grant so sick before. He doesn't get sick very often, and when he does, it's usually just a little cold that he manages to fight off within a few days. However, this time he was out for a few days with a fever and just slept most of the time. Needless to say, everyone else proceeded to get sick as well for the next four weeks! Ugh! I'm so ready for spring!!

Here are some pictures and video from Maddie's birthday.

Maddie's Smash Cake

I just realized that the candle is in backwards... oops!

Birthday Girl!

I'm hoping that I'll be able to keep up with blogging again and that it won't be a month until there's another update!

Maddie's Birth Story

2011-01-25T19:16:00.000-08:00

There are many things in this story I wish I could forget or erase or change, like, the fact that if I had known what Maddie was going to bring to our family, I would have only cried tears of joy the night we found out about the Down syndrome, but changing it wouldn't be true to the story. It's taken me a while to get the whole story out, and the only reason that I am writing it is for Madelyn. I want and need for her to know that I always loved her, and I always will. This is her story, just from my point of view, and as painful as some of the story was for me at the time, the reality is that I had closed myself off to be able to see the amazing things to come from this little girl. Madelyn and Aiden have opened my eyes to a world that is better, kinder, and full of possibilities and I will forever be grateful to them for that. I started writing this back in August, but held back from finishing it until now. It feels right to finish it now, as we get ready to write a new chapter in her life, one that will start off by celebrating Madelyn the way we should have a year ago.

__________________________________________________________________

Madelyn Elizabeth Williams, 1/27/10

I have often thought about writing Maddie's birth story, to have it down somewhere so that I could release it a bit. That day was filled with so many different emotions and it's still a little hard for me to make sense of all the things I was feeling that day, and sometimes still feel today. When I think about her birth there is always a "before" and an "after". Somewhere in there the world, and my view of it, changed.

Madelyn has Down syndrome. I said it, or rather, wrote it. Looking at the words on the screen and reading them still seems like some sort of dream to me. Down syndrome. In the early days after hearing this, my mind would race and play that sentence over and over in my head. Madelyn has Down syndrome. Down syndrome. Down syndrome. Down syndrome. Over and over. It makes me feel breathless. Not as badly as it did in the hospital when the pediatrician said it, but similar. Down syndrome. It's like ripping a bandaid off, reapplying it, and ripping it off again. It doesn't sting as badly as it did the first time, but it still hurts. Those two words pop into my head randomly during the day. Not as frequently as they used to at first, but it's still a daily occurrence. Sometimes I forget. Sometimes I'm just the mother of two children, then it comes and smacks me in the face, Down syndrome, and I'm breathless again. It always takes awhile for me to get my breath back. I don't ever want to tell her birth story to the point that I am numb about it, but releasing it a little so that I can breathe sounds a little freeing to me. So here goes:

I knew early on that Maddie was going to be a lot different from her brother. I had all-day morning sickness and nausea with Aiden, and with Maddie it was worse. However, with Maddie I began to lose weight. I didn't start putting on weight until somewhere in the 3rd trimester. By the time I delivered, I had only gained an additional 7 lbs. from my starting weight. The midwives were never concerned about Maddie's weight, and said that she would get all that she needed from my body and that I shouldn't worry.

Maddie moved much differently than Aiden. It's funny how much you can tell about your child before they are born; how their movements tell you a story about them before they are even brought into this world. Aiden was very active, pushy, demanding, and never backed down. Maddie was a little gentler, slower moving, and more cautious. She never pushed back and mostly just moved in my belly with glided movements.

I also had Braxton Hicks early on in my pregnancy with Maddie and knew that she was going to be early. How early, I was unsure of, but I knew she would be early. With Aiden I thought I was going to be pregnant for-ev-er (and he was 8 days late)! So when I went into labor on January 27th, two weeks early, I wasn't surprised (never mind the fact that I was walking up and down two flights of stairs with a two-and-a-half year old on my back while carrying a basket full of laundry all morning).

I always wanted a little girl, I dreamed of having a little girl. The day I found out that we were having one was one of the happiest day of my life. I couldn't have been more ecstatic. I was soaring for the rest of my pregnancy. All my dreams were coming true. Things were perfect. Normally, I am a worrier. I worry about things that aren't likely to happen, I focus on them, obsess about them, even though there's usually nothing that can be done to prevent it. So it was unusual for me to feel like nothing could go wrong. Nothing could have prepared me for the shock I was about to receive. I was about to be blindsided and I had no idea.

There were things that happened during Aiden's birth that I wanted to make sure I avoided again for Maddie's birth. With Aiden I had a C-section and I'm still not entirely sure why. So for my second pregnancy I switched to a group of midwives, who were wonderful! I also did not feel like I had any choices or support during my delivery with Aiden, so I hired a doula for Maddie's birth as well. This birth was going to go my way; I was determined to have a successful VBAC and was going to stack the odds in my favor.

Early that Wednesday morning, I got up and started doing laundry. I knew I was getting close to my due date and wanted to make sure I had some essentials clean so that I could pack them in advance for the hospital. Aiden didn't like to be left alone upstairs while I was doing laundry, so I put him in the baby carrier on my back and took him to the basement with me. While going down to put in the first load of laundry, I started to feel contractions, but just thought they were more Braxton-Hicks. I came back up and Aiden chose that day to decide that he wanted to start peeing on the potty. At first I thought, "Sure, nothing else is going on today. We'll try it." The morning continued on, laundry, big boy peeing in the potty, up and down the stairs, more Braxton-Hicks. After a little bit, my friend, Lindsay, called. I decided this was a good time to lie down, drink some water, and relax a bit since the contractions weren't going away. Half way through our conversation, I realized that the contractions were getting stronger and more frequent. It was time to hang up, put Aiden's diaper back on and call Grant, the doula, and the midwives to give them all a heads up.

With the anticipation of her impending arrival, I was growing more and more exited, building things up in my head. Imagining the first time we would get to look at her, the first time I would be able to hold her, see Grant hold her, listen to her cry, and the first time Aiden would get to see his baby sister. I was on cloud 9, and nothing could bring me down.

I labored at home for a few hours, Grant came home and helped me finish packing, and our friend Meredith came over to stay with Aiden while we went to the hospital. The doula was going to meet us at the hospital in an hour, since we figured it was going to take us that long to finish packing, drive to the hospital, and get checked in anyway. The contractions were 5 minutes apart and intense. Things were happening fast, or so I thought.

They checked me at the hospital when I came in, I was only 2 centimeters dilated. Originally, they wanted to send me home to labor for a little longer, but I knew, I knew this was it, that there was no going home; my baby girl was coming. They decided to let me labor at the hospital for a couple of hours and recheck me later.

We wandered the halls, and each floor of the hospital, stopping for contractions. The funny part about it was that we were at the WOMEN'S hospital, where babies are born everyday, and yet, when I was walking and laboring in the hallways, people would stop and ask if I was alright. Doctors, nurses, orderlies, all stopped to ask if I was ok. I thought, "Of course I'm fine, I'm just in labor! How have you not seen this a million times before?!?"

The contractions were getting more and more painful and coming one on top of another. The midwife rechecked me and I hadn't made much progress. They decided to give me some morphine to help me rest for a little while. Their theory was that the morphine would either stop the contractions all together and I could go home, or that they would relax me enough that I would dilate more and be rested for later when it was time to push. Either way, I was supposed to be asleep within a half hour.

Grant decided this would be a good time for him to go and get something to eat so that he would be ready for everything else after I woke up. I agreed that this was probably the best time for him to go and our doula agreed to stay with me. I lied down on the bed and tried to relax. The room was quiet, the lights were dim, and my eyes were shut. However, the pain wasn't subsiding and I was only growing more uncomfortable. Fifteen minutes later, as I was trying to breathe through the pain, I had our doula talk to the nurse. The nurse blew us off and told us that I needed to wait another 15 minutes. Grant eventually came back and when he did he found me writhing in pain on a collapsable bed that was falling apart in the triage area (because I hadn't progressed far enough to be taken back to labor and delivery). Our doula asked the nurse to please page our midwife so that we could see what was happening. The morphine was having the opposite effect. In the half hour between getting the morphine and the midwife coming back in, I had dilated 7cm, but I could feel every single intensified contraction that went along with it. I was at 9cm and I felt ready to push. There was a huge commotion due to the fact that I hadn't been moved into the labor and delivery suite yet, and as I was yelling that I needed to push. I had the midwife, the doula, Grant, and the nurses telling me not to.

We got back to Labor and Delivery and I was finally able to push. I'm not sure how long I pushed for, but what I do remember is that Maddie got stuck, just as Aiden had, and her heartbeat was dropping quickly. They were telling me again to stop pushing. I felt like they were telling me that I had to stop a train, mid-track, with my bare hands. There was no way I was going to be able to stop it. They pushed her back up inside me to turn her a little hoping this would help her out. Her heart rate slowly began to come back up and they let me push again. It didn't take long. Her slippery little body was placed on my belly and she was here. After 8 short hours of labor, she was here.

I cried. I cried because I was happy to finally see my daughter, to hold my daughter in my arms, I cried because I had found new strength within myself by having a successful VBAC, and I cried because this was how I had envisioned Aiden's birth and I felt like I was making up for what had gone wrong during his birth.

I lied there, holding my sweet baby, crying, and admiring her. The nurses took her and cleaned her up, got her apgar scores, and handed her back to me. She was the tiniest little thing I had ever seen, weighing in at 5lbs. 15oz. She was wrinkly, and squished, and I remember thinking she looked like my baby pictures.

I could tell something was different about her, though. At first I thought that she looked different from Aiden because he had been a C-section, or that he was bigger, so I didn't say anything. I examined her a little closer and asked why her ears were both folded in the middle. The midwife assured me that it was because of labor and that there was nothing to worry about. I was told that they would correct themselves and that Madelyn was fine, I shouldn't worry about it. But, I knew something was different. I couldn't put my finger on what it was, but there was something that someone wasn't telling me.

We were taken back to a recovery room and spent an amazing first night together as a family. I was so elated that I stayed up until about 2am just looking at her, admiring her, and cuddling her. With Aiden, I had been so scared of him and of myself as a mother. It was wonderful that night being able to know that I didn't need to fear my own mothering abilities with Madelyn. I knew what to anticipate with a newborn and knew that I would be able to rise to the challenge. Instead of feeling that panic I did with Aiden, I felt calm and content with Maddie. I was ready, and confident, and just wanted to take my little peanut home.

Maddie was already such a different baby than Aiden had been. She was quiet, and calm, and never fussed. She was just as content to hang out with Grant or in the bassinet as she was in my arms. She was beautiful and perfect and I was soaring!

I felt great physically after giving birth as well. With Aiden I was sore for weeks and recovery was a long and slow process since I had had a c-section. But, with the VBAC, I was up out of bed 5 minutes after giving birth. I got to change Maddie's first diaper, something I couldn't do with Aiden because it hurt too badly to even shift weight in bed, let alone get out. I got to give her her first sponge bath, something the nurses did with Aiden. And, it didn't hurt to nurse her since there were no stitches for her to lie on. Maddie and I were bonding so quickly. I felt that I missed out on all of those things that had seemed to take longer with Aiden.

The next morning, I remember the nurse coming in and checking on us. I had been up early, took a shower and got out of the hospital gown into some normal clothes. I even put on a little make-up since I knew we'd be having visitors and there were lots of pictures to be taken. The nurse came in twice that morning to check on us and I remember vividly her saying, "I just don't know where that pediatrician is. He's supposed to be here this morning and he knows he needs to come to your room." She said it so emphatically that it made me feel a little uneasy. Something was up, there was no reason that she would need the pediatrician to come in so quickly in the morning. It was a giant red flag, but when I looked at Maddie, I just saw a perfect beautiful little girl... what could be going on?

When Aiden was born, the pediatrician came in and told us that he had a heart murmur, and would need to be seen by a cardiologist. I thought maybe she had the same thing, that's what I prepared myself for. Nothing major, she'd get checked out and I was sure, would be fine. There was nothing to worry about.

Eventually the pediatrician came in. I was excited to see him and have him tell me that my little girl was perfect, that he didn't have any concerns and we could go home as soon as we wanted. He seemed a little uneasy, hesitant, and I thought, "Here we go... heart murmur... cardiology... yeah, yeah yeah, we've been here before, things are fine, nothing to worry about, I'll set up my appointment as soon as we get home."

I was smiling, laughing, joking, why wasn't he? He sat down and started to speak, "Your daughter has Down syndrome." The air was sucked out of the room. Trying to catch my breath, "What?". "Your daughter has Down syndrome." I was gasping for air. "Do you have any questions?" "What?" "Do you have any questions?" I couldn't understand what he was telling me. How did he know? How could he be sure? Did he have the right room? Where is the air, and why can't I breathe? I'm dreaming, this isn't happening. He's not talking about my daughter. I was in shock. I looked at Maddie, and thought, "He's lying. He doesn't know what he's talking about." What he said after that is too fuzzy to remember, but before I could talk he was gone. He just left. He couldn't deal with telling us and he left before we could ask any questions, before it had time to sink in, before I could feel the pain, before I could breathe.

I wanted to throw up. I wanted to take my daughter and leave, I wanted him to take it all back. He had to be wrong. No one came into our room for a while after he left. I sobbed. I looked at Maddie, this couldn't be true. How could I not see what he was talking about? I had worked with a little girl who had Down syndrome when I was in high school and Maddie didn't look like her. She looked like my baby pictures.

The pediatrician had said something about a chromosomal test, he said that it would come back positive, but I could hold out hope. I looked at her ears, I looked at her neck, I looked at her eyes. I could see it. I knew. I knew he was right.

Immediately, the guilt came flooding in. Had I done this to her? If I hadn't wanted another baby so badly, would this have happened? What kind of life was this precious baby going to have? Would she hate me if she couldn't have the kind of quality of life that "typical" children had? Was she going to have to work harder and get less in return? Was Aiden going to blame me and hate me when he was older because he was going to have to be her guardian? Would he willingly give up opportunities to take care of her? Did I want him to? Would he hate me because he didn't have a "typical" sibling? Is she going to get made fun of? Is he going to get made fun of? How do I help them cope with this possibility? How do I teach them to rise above it? How do I navigate this new "special needs" world? Was my family going to be disappointed in me, and in my new family? How was this going to change us? Would we crumble under the pressure? Was Grant going to blame me for this the way I was blaming myself? Was Maddie feeling all of this pain along with me? Could she sense how I was feeling? How could I be so crushed, but still so in love with her at the same time?

I wasn't ready to tell anyone. I couldn't find the words to tell family. I didn't want anyone I told to tell anyone else. I wasn't ready to have it out there in the world. What people needed to know was that we had a darling little baby girl and that she was healthy, and sweet, and perfect. I needed people to respect my timeline for letting the news out. I needed to be able to feel supported from the core people we told before I was ready for the news to get out. I needed to control it because I felt like I was in a tailspin. My whole world had just been thrown upside down.

My Mom was with Aiden and I couldn't tell her first. I had to wait until Aiden was down for a nap before I told her. I didn't want him to worry, or be sad, or know that there was anything to be sad about. I called my step-mom, I needed my Dad to know, but knew I wouldn't be able to form the words if I talked to him. My stepmom, Barb, was in the middle of Meijer, grocery shopping when I spewed it out. She sat on the phone with me, cried with me, hurt with me, and then said, "We're just going to love her to pieces, the same as we would have done before, and she will know that." Relief washed over me. It made me feel stronger. Barb was there carrying me through, others quickly joined her, my Mom, Grant's family, Aiden, my Dad, friends and extended family. They were there loving us and loving my little girl, when I felt like there was no moving forward.

Aiden finally came to meet his baby sister. It was magical. He showed me the true meaning of unconditional love. He loved her instantly and magically. He showed no fear. He was so proud of her and to be a big brother. She would never be seen in his eyes as anything less than she was... his baby sister. He showed me there was nothing to be afraid of, and that it was okay to love this little baby because she was mine. She was the same baby I had bonded with for 9 months. The same baby that I had read and sang to at night while I was pregnant. She was my little girl. He gave me strength and showed me the way.

The next couple of nights were filled with a lot of grieving, feelings of guilt, and gut-wrenching pain, but every time I looked at Madelyn, I was filled with love. I've said it before, but it was never, ever hard to love Maddie, to love my little girl, but learning to love the Down syndrome has been a process. In the beginning it was hard to see the future, to know what to wish for for my daughter and my family, but as the year has passed, that's become a distant memory. I have learned, from watching other children and adults with Down syndrome, that Madelyn can lead a fulfilling, meaningful, life, and I am so lucky to be able to have a front-row seat to watch her bloom. Maddie has opened up a whole new world for me and as this first year of her life comes to a close, I can honestly look back and know that there is nothing I would change about her. We are so lucky that she chose us to be her parents, to be her family. And, even though I know it won't always be easy, what I do know is that we will always love her, just as we did before she was born.

Happy Birthday Sweet Little Madelyn!

Grant's 30th Birthday

2011-01-16T19:02:00.000-08:00

Grant's 30th birthday was this week. It wasn't a huge celebration, like he had planned for me, but we did go out to dinner and I made a Heath Bar Cake for him. His celebration was more in the present that I got for him than the actual day. However, had I been able to get everything done, it would have been one heck of a birthday surprise! My original intention was to plan a great weekend getaway to New York City, go see a Broadway (or Off-Broadway, or Off- Off- Broadway) play, do some sight-seeing and be back before Grant had class on Tuesday. Grant has never been to NYC and I thought that this would be a great time for him to go, see a great production, and remember why he loves (and chose) Theatre to study in the first place. With all of the work, and frustration, on his prospectus/dissertation lately, I thought it might help inspire him a little bit. Unfortunately, due to some extenuating circumstances, a blizzard, and lack of knowledge on my part, I decided the best thing to do was to get him a gift certificate for a Broadway play. That way he can help plan it, and I'm not worried that he's going to hate whatever play I pick out for us to see, and it will be a little nicer weather when we finally get to go.

We came back from dinner and watched the last couple of episodes of the last season of Dexter with our friends and had cake and ice cream. I wish that I would have been able to pull everything off for a big surprise, but despite that, I think he had a great night.

Things have been pretty busy here, the normal appointments, shuffling everyone to and from school, etc. Maddie had an appointment on Friday to have her hearing re-screened, she passed with flying colors, and she also had her thyroid tested again. We won't know the results for a few days, but I don't think there's anything to worry about.

We've been busy trying to get things in order for her 1st birthday party next week, and so far, I'm falling behind. I guess that's pretty typical though, I seem to like pulling things together at the last minute. Click the link below for a little preview of what's to come for her birthday!

Maddie's 1st Birthday

I can't believe it's only a little over a week until my sweet baby turns one! I think of all the things I was busy doing last year getting ready for her impending arrival. The furry of trying to make sure everything's clean and ready and prepared, so that when it happens the whole world isn't in disarray. It's a little of the same this year, preparing for her birthday, but I'm not waiting for contractions to start at any minute.

I'm excited to be able to sit back and reflect on all that has happened this year, and to finally be able to celebrate Madelyn like we should have been able to do a year ago. This year will be just that, a celebration of her and the day she was born. No more dwelling on the what-if's and the unknown, because while we were busy worrying about those things, Maddie was busy growing and learning and showing us that there was nothing to worry about and that she was so much more than we ever thought. I'm excited to celebrate these things about her and to fully see her for her, for being my daughter, Aiden's sister, and a wonderful, enriching part of our family!

The ONEder Fund

2011-01-14T12:29:00.000-08:00

I have no words. Please, watch the video below, donate, and spread the love for Maddie, Nella, and all the other 400,000 individuals living in the U.S. with Down syndrome. (Also, check out Maddie waving at around 5 1/2 minutes in!!)

Shine Bright

2011-01-12T21:07:00.000-08:00

*small disclaimer: this is a long post. I tried to condense it, but with over 500 pictures taken while on vacation, it was impossible to get it much smaller.

I have been struggling to write this post because this Christmas has meant so much to us. I'm afraid I won't be able to fully articulate how significant this year was. Last year was so full of hope and promise and dreams. Not only was I pregnant, but there was an anticipation of what was to come, and an open door of possibilities. Right after Maddie was born, I was afraid I had lost that, but I have so fully gained all of that back plus a newfound feeling of gratitude and appreciation. I knew Maddie would change our lives forever before she was born, just as her brother had done, but I had no idea how far she would stretch and push my heart to grow and love.

Which brings me to the title of this post and the title of our Christmas Card. Shine Bright. So much has happened this year, and this is what I'm taking from the whole crazy ride. Shine bright, embrace our differences, celebrate them, cherish them, and don't be afraid to be who you were born to be. I never thought that one tiny, dependent person would be the one to show me this in such a short amount of time, but she has. I want my babies to learn to shine bright throughout their lives, to never be afraid to be themselves and to know that they are fully accepted just the way they are.

On a side note, you should head on over to Kelle Hampton's blog, HERE, to see how she is helping others with Down syndrome to Shine Bright, as well. Donate if you can, or are moved to, she's not asking for much, whatever you can give, all the money raised goes to the National Down Syndrome Society (NDSS). She started with a goal of $15,000 and $5 donations from every state in the U.S. and beyond have put her above her goal 3 times already, and she's reaching for the stars! Her next goal is $63,000 (for the 3 sets of the 21st chromosome), but my guess is she's going to have to raise the bar again! And on a personal note, it has been amazing for me to feel this sense of community with everyone who has donated. I check the site multiple times a day to see how fast the donations are pouring in. It shows me how much good there is in this world, and that I don't have to be so afraid of the people who will not accept my daughter, because there are many, many more people who do understand and accept her than don't. I am thankful and grateful to Kelle for opening my eyes to this.

So, on with the rest of the post...

This year, for Christmas, we went to Florida with my Dad and Step-Mom, Barb, my brother, Austin, Grandpa Mac, and his girlfriend, Joanne. When we started talking about going, I quickly realized that it had been over 10 years since I spent an actual Christmas Day with this side of my family, and knew it had been too long.

Both kids did an amazing job on the plane ride. Aiden was happy to have some videos to watch, sit in the seat like a big boy and look out the window. Maddie fell asleep during take-off and woke up 15 minutes before we landed. I don't think it could have gone more perfectly! Unfortunately for me, Maddie being asleep the whole time severely limited my mobility and I spent most of the 2 1/2 hour flight just holding her, and trying not to wake her up. However, both kids were happy, no one cried even a whimper, so I really have nothing to complain about.

Aiden was so excited to go to Florida. We talked for weeks about what Florida would be like and even watched some YouTube videos about manatees, dolphins, alligators and of course sharks (because the kid is OBSESSED with sharks) to prepare. So when Granddad picked us up from the airport, Aiden's natural first question, was about when and where we were going to see sharks. When he found out that we probably wouldn't be seeing any sharks he turned his attention to things we could do... like swimming.

Maddie was happy to stay inside and play with blocks... the water and weather were too cold for her.

For years my husband has not really cared about sports. It's one of the things I liked about him while we were dating. I didn't have to devote an entire day to watching football, we could go do other things together and enjoy our day. However, there is something about the Steelers that has drawn him in (ok, I have to admit, they've kinda drawn me in, too). You know that saying that people can't ever change? Yeah, well my husband is proving them wrong. He is so obsessed, in fact, that he had to find the game on the internet and watch it while we were gone.

When Tom and I were little and going to Florida with my Dad every other year for Christmas, it was tradition that the weather would turn bad and inevitably be "one of the coldest" periods that Florida had had in years. It never failed. It was as if the second our plane landed the weather would turn cold and as we were taking off to go home, the weather would warm up. Well, this year was really no different, but Aiden didn't let the cold stop him from pretending to swim.

And Maddie enjoyed reading books indoors with her Granddad.

We busily prepared for Christmas Eve and Christmas Day when we got down to Sanibel Island, wrapping presents, stopping by the grocery store, and making cookies. A note (that Aiden attempted to sign his name to), cookies for Santa, and carrots for the reindeer were left by the (brand new) fire place, but I just realized that we didn't leave any milk out... oops. I hope the Big Guy didn't hold it against us.

If you look closely, you can see his "A" and "i"

Christmas morning came quickly and I was so excited to see Aiden's face when he had seen that Santa came to visit. He's a bit shy and apprehensive, but had no problems warming up quickly. He was excited to see that Santa and the reindeer had eaten some of their treats, but couldn't figure out why he had left anything. *Note to self: Next year make sure Santa finishes cookies* But, he was excited that he could eat the leftovers, especially since it was the first thing he had had all morning to eat... cookies for breakfast, every 3 year old's dream come true!

Maddie was happy to just be held and look cute in her Christmas pj's. And, in case you can't tell, yes, her pj's have a little tutu on them... so stinking cute!!

Christmas morning love.

Aiden was done with the love and ready to open presents.

He was a good elf helper and passed out all the presents. I was happy that this was no longer my job.

Maddie and her new "Maddie the Mermaid" that Aiden gave to her as her Christmas gift. She loves her!

Grandpa Mac and Joanne, getting into the Christmas spirit!

Aiden enjoyed all of his gifts, which included a belt and wallet that he asked Santa for. However, apparently Aiden didn't specify what kind of wallet he wanted from Santa and instead of getting him a nice black leather wallet, like he envisioned, Santa got him one with a shark on it. Aiden's first reaction was, "No, not one like this! Like Daddy's wallet!" Santa... fail. However, since then Aiden has forgiven Santa, and now loves his wallet... whew!

While we were in Florida, Austin found himself with a nephew who didn't want to leave his side. Aiden followed Austin everywhere and wanted to do most of the things he was doing. Austin was such a great sport, and seemed to enjoy hanging out with Aiden as much as he did.

Here's just a sleeping baby who was too sweet not to take a picture of.

And then I regretted it, because it woke her up.

Mimi and Aiden taking a nap together. I don't think Aiden had to sleep by himself during a nap once while we were there! He was in heaven. Only now, he thinks every time he takes a nap, that someone has to sleep with him.

It also seemed that my husband found the right family for watching football with. One night we went to a bar that had a private section for only Colts fans! It was pretty amazing to be on this tiny island and have so many people come together as fans to watch the game.

One day we walked over to Periwinkle Park, which is a camp ground on the island that has a bird sanctuary in the middle of it. We were all excited to see the birds, but unfortunately, it was so cold they had to move the birds inside. Luckily, the woman who does the bird shows decided to show us some of the birds anyway. (Please note, we are all in our winter coats... it was pretty cold).

We also went to an outlet mall close to the Island and had a day to play while my Dad flew back to Indy for the day to work (crazy right?!?). Aiden followed Austin everywhere and just couldn't get enough of him!

We had never taken Aiden putt-putting before, but Dad and Barb knew of a place that we could go that had live alligators, and since this was one of the things we had talked to Aiden about before coming down, we knew we had to see them. And, the putt-putting was tons of fun!! Aiden had a blast!

Putt-putt is a lot harder when you're carrying a sleeping baby on your chest.

Out to dinner at a Jazz Club with the whole family. It was fun to get dressed up and do a little dancing. Aiden was in heaven and loved watching the band play with Granddad. There was even a trombone player who came down and played right in front of him very quietly while he sat on Granddad's lap. He was amazed, to say the least! Maddie had a good time, too, being held by Mimi and admired by other people dinning in the restaurant. Then she fell asleep in my arms and was content the rest of the evening. I love that she's still in that stage, where she can fall asleep and be content in my arms despite whatever else is going on. It's the most comforting feeling for me, and I can't even imagine what it feels like for her.

Granddad and Aiden playing one of Aiden's favorite games after getting out of the tub, "Wanna 'mell 'em?!?" Granddad played along, however I'm not sure he had just gotten out of the tub!

On our last day there, we were scrambling to fit things in. There were so many things left and we wanted to make sure we squeezed them all in before leaving. So in the morning Aiden and Granddad went fishing, then we rode bikes to the beach, because you can't go to Florida without going to the beach, rode home and spent the rest of the night packing up to go home. Unfortunately, Mimi wasn't feeling so well and she spent the rest of the night in bed trying not to infect us all with her cold.

Unfortunately, the day after we got home, New Years Eve, Aiden, Maddie, and I were all sick. We spent New Years Eve in the E.R. with both kids, since the doctor's office was closed for the next 2 days. Aiden ended up having a double ear infection and an Upper Respiratory Infection, Maddie an eye infection, and later developed into a pretty nasty Upper Respiratory Infection, and I got a little bit of everything. Grant worked New Years Eve and so our celebration of the New Year didn't happen until New Years Day. We didn't do much, but did have some yummy fondue!

This year has been so full of life and love. I have stretched myself further than I could have ever imagined, but what I am taking away from it, I will forever be grateful for. I can't wait to see all the things that these two little beings will show me, and how they will challenge me to Shine Bright in the next year. It was a great way to celebrate Christmas and the end of an amazing, challenging, fulfilling, year!

Paying it Forward

2011-01-08T12:26:00.000-08:00

As we are getting ready to celebrate Maddie's 1st birthday, Kelle Hampton is getting ready to celebrate her daughter Nella's as well. See how Kelle and Nella are paying it forward for those with Down syndrome, and see how you can help by clicking HERE! (Also, check out our friend Colton, who's picture is among all the cuties in the post!)

It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year

2011-01-03T11:28:00.000-08:00

The last few ~~days~~ weeks have been a blur of activity. We've seemingly gone from one activity to another. Here are some of the pictures from the last few weeks...

Making cookies:

Attempting to stand and cheering for herself:

Aiden wanted to make a magic wand for our friend who babysits him. He came up with the idea all by himself. Luckily, I found this great kit after he said that he wanted to make her a magic wand. He also colored her a picture and told me what to write to her. The best part is how he sticks out his tongue when he's concentrating:

Maddie just being cute. Notice the monkey she has in her mouth, she has chosen him to be her "lovey". You should see the way she lights up when we put him down with her... so cute!

Maddie's graduated from the baby bathtub to the sink, and it's really cute!!

Grant's sister, Laura, made this apron for Aiden for Christmas. We opened it before we left for Florida, and he loves it!! In case you can't read it, it says "Aiden's Cafe" on top and then his tag-line he came up with for his little restaurant, "I believe you'll like it!" down below. In this picture he was talking to me like I was recording him and said, "Today we're going to make cupcakes," like he was the host of a show on the Food Network. The kid cracks me up!

Ok, so I condensed some of the posts and just have one big Christmas week post left and then I should be caught up with the blog! Yay!!

Impromptu Day

2011-01-02T14:01:00.000-08:00

Most Fridays are busy days here. Aiden doesn't have school Friday mornings and Maddie usually has two appointments, Developmental Therapy in the morning and Speech Therapy in the afternoon. So when both our appointments got cancelled, we had a free day to do anything we wanted.

I was so happy because Aiden had been asking to go to the Children's Museum for quite some time and this was the perfect opportunity.

We gassed up the car and headed out...

Ha ha! Not really, but Aiden did get to gas up a smart car at the museum.

Maddie even enjoyed the infant room at the museum, but Aiden was antsy to get to the water room.

Aiden spent the majority of his time in the water room and the craft room. He loves painting and usually has to make a few paintings before we leave. He was also able to make paper this time, and enjoyed it so much that he did it twice in a row before moving on to something else.

The museum has this huge two story wall that the kids can climb through. It's usually crawling with kids and so busy that it looks like a beehive. Aiden is usually too cautious to go through it for this reason, but at the end of the day no one was in it and he was brave enough to give it a try. He LOVED it!

We were all tuckered out at the end of the day, but had a great time! I LOVE impromptu days, they are the best. These are the days that fill my heart and keep me going and they are the days that will stick in my head and forever! The smile on Aiden's face was priceless and I would do just about anything to have him look at me like that everyday!

O Christmas Tree, O Christmas Tree...

2011-01-02T13:00:00.000-08:00

Ok, I'm really behind in my blogging. I have started 5 different posts and haven't finished one yet. So I'm going to go back and finish the posts that I started. I'm hoping to eventually catch up to more current events.

__________________________________________________________________

The beginning of fall is my most favorite time. However, Christmas time is a close second. I like the fall because it's still warm enough to get outside and do things without freezing to death, there is the farmers market, the warm fall colors, pumpkins and pumpkin patches, and Zoo Boo. It seems like the entire month of October is jam packed with fun things to do.

But, December is just as busy and, although cold, just as fun. I love how the warm colors of fall have melted into deep, rich colors that can warm you just from looking at them. The pumpkins are gone, but replacing them are poinsettias with their huge burgundy leaves. There are twinkling lights everywhere you look, and the way they light up a living room makes it so much more cozy to snuggle into. The hot chocolate and marshmallows that melt away the cold, and the smell of a fresh tree right inside your house, not to mention the stories, cookies and songs, all warm me from the inside, out.

We spent Thanksgiving with my Mom this year and had a great time with everyone. When we got home, we decided that it was either get the Christmas Tree up now or wait another week, possibly two, before Grant had time again to help. So after driving 6 hours home from Mom's, we drove straight to pick out our Christmas tree.

It took us no time at all to pick out a tree, and before we knew it, it was on top of our car and we were on our way home, with decorations, ready to unload, unpack, and decorate.

This year Aiden was able to help us put decorations on the tree and he was excited to be able to do it. He was especially happy to put his decorations on the tree.

Unfortunately, he really thought this ornament was a real cookie and kept trying to eat it.

Maddie sat around supervising us and eating biscuits, but enjoyed herself none-the-less.

Aiden with the small tree for the kids' bedroom. He was really excited to be able to have a christmas tree in his room.

One disadvantage to having Aiden help decorate the tree was that most of the ornaments ended up in one spot, but it was cute, so we left it there.

I was excited for Aiden to be able to put the star on top of the tree this year. I have fond memories of my brother and I sitting on my dad's shoulders, putting the angel on the top of the tree, and I was anxious for Aiden to be able to start this tradition.

Our tree and Christmas decorations look about the same as last years, but as we were decorating, I remembered the anticipation I had last year about what this year would be like. So many things have changed this year, but I remember thinking that this year our family would be a little more complete than last year, and with Maddie's arrival, it is.

I am looking forward to all the things this Christmas season has to offer, and all the new memories we will make.

Here Comes Santa Clause...

2010-12-12T06:23:00.000-08:00

Aiden was SO excited to see Santa this year. He talked for weeks about what he was going to tell him he wanted for Christmas, and asked almost daily if we could go see him. I was excited because last year, Aiden was terrified of Santa and would only "sit" on his lap, if I held him and sat on Santa's lap. I just want to say... it was awkward.

The day came to see the Big Man, and Aiden made him a list so that he would remember what to tell him he would like. We got in line to see Santa and Aiden was silent (this doesn't happen often). When we got up to the front of the line, Aiden was clutching his list, but still seemed excited. The elves finally told us it was our turn and Maddie welcomed the Bearded Guy with open arms and a smile. Aiden on the other hand, closed his eyes tight and walked as far away from him as he possibly could get, clutching Grant's leg instead of the list.

Grant and I didn't push him too much to talk to Santa, I don't want to scar him for life, but we helped him read his list to Santa. Aiden was still speechless. After reading off Aiden's list for him, we attempted to take a picture. For most of the pictures, Aiden has his eyes shut tight and his hands over his eyes just in case someone tried to pry his eyes open. Grant stood next to Aiden holding him just next to Santa and after some "Don't smile, Aiden"s, we get this...

Ripping off the Bandaid

2010-12-05T12:46:00.000-08:00

When Maddie was first born, Grant and I needed to take a little time to sit with Maddie's Down syndrome diagnosis. We only told a select number of people, because we weren't ready for all of our family and friends to know at first. But, after a few days, we knew it was something we needed to tell people. Not that we were necessarily ready, but it wasn't something we could, or even wanted, to hide. It was like ripping a bandaid off, you don't really want to, but the bleeding had stopped, momentarily, and it was time to give the wound a little fresh air. We were incredibly proud of our new, beautiful, and wonderful daughter, but we weren't sure how people were going to react. So, in order not to relive it over and over, we sent an email to most people letting them know what was going on, and others heard it second hand from friends or family.

After the news was out, it was much easier to see and face people. I didn't have to worry about their reactions, or judgements, or anything else that may have gone along with it, because they had already done that before they saw us. As a result, I have not had much practice telling people about Maddie. In the beginning, I had this urge to tell everyone I met, the man checking us out at the grocery store, or the woman who stopped to stare at her in Ikea, I never did, but the urge was there. Then I realized, that I didn't HAVE to tell anyone, unless it was something that I wanted to tell them, and that complete strangers didn't fall into this category.

Since Aiden has started school, I've gotten to know some of the other parents a little better. At first, these parents fell into the 'complete strangers' category, and they didn't need to know, but they aren't complete strangers anymore. There are times that Maddie and I are in the viewing room watching Aiden and other parents will come up. Inevitably, they start to ask normal questions about Maddie, is she crawling yet, talking yet, etc. There is always backpedaling on their part to reassure me that kids develop at their own rate when they find out that she's not doing these things yet. And, with a couple of parents, I have felt like they have been searching for some answers because they know that something is a little different with Maddie.

At first, I was hesitant to say anything. Because of my lack of experience in telling people I wasn't exactly sure how and when to say it. I was also afraid of having to see, hear, and feel peoples reactions when they found out. And lastly, I didn't want people to define Maddie by her Down syndrome and assume things about her based on any stereotypes or assumptions that they have about people with Down syndrome.

An opportunity arose the other day when two women, with children similar ages to Maddie, were asking questions. The backpedaling and inquisitive questions began, and I decided to just say it. My heart was racing, and I could feel that pit in my stomach start to grow. I was ripping the bandaid off... again. I'm not sure what I expected, but my worst case scenario didn't happen, however, neither did my best case scenario. Both women were respectful, and asked questions, but had assumptions like Down syndrome runs in our families, and that it only happens to older women. It made me wonder what else they assumed, but weren't saying.

As we were talking, I realized that one of my new roles as Maddie's mom is to educate people about Down syndrome, for the sake of my daughter. Before Maddie was born, I didn't know much, so I hope that I can do it correctly, but I'm sure I will make mistakes along that road. It's part of the learning process. What I wanted these women to know most of all, is that Madelyn is not that much different than their children, that it will take her a little bit longer to get where their children are, that she may need a little more help doing it, and that it's ok. Different doesn't equal worse or bad. It adds diversity to our lives and our world, and we're all a little different in some ways. Just look at this little ham, who requested a bow tie, like the Cat in the Hat, but blue! :)

It has gotten easier, the bandaid doesn't stick as much, and since this incident, the opportunity to tell another parent came up again, however, this time, I got the response that I wanted and needed. It went a little something like this,

Her: How old is Maddie again?
Me: Almost 10 months
Her: I bet she's crawling all over and just getting into everything!
Me: No, not yet.
Her: Well (slight pause), all kids are different... It'll be no time before she is.
Me: Maddie actually has Down syndrome, so (interrupted by Her)
Her: Oh, so it's just going to take her a little longer than other kids.
Me: (smiling and trying to hold back from crying and hugging her at the same time) Yes, just a little longer.

The conversation went to something else after this, I don't remember what, but I will never forget this part of it. This woman has no idea the amount of acceptance and understanding she gave me in that one little sentence, even before I had a chance to say anything. It was amazing. Before this happened, I wasn't sure what kind of response I wanted, but as soon as she said it, I knew that was it. I will forever be grateful to this woman for not only accepting my baby immediately, but for also showing me what I was missing by not telling people. Because, not only are there going to be negative reactions (not that the previous conversation had been negative, it just wasn't filled with the understanding that went along with this one), but there are also going to be positive reactions, and I won't know which one I'm going to get unless I put it out there.

A few days after both of these conversations, the director at the school met me at the door to let me in. She said that Aiden's teacher told her that Madelyn had Down syndrome and then shared with me that she had had a son with Down syndrome who passed away when he was 13 from heart problems. She told me that he was the best thing that she has ever had in her life and that he brought so much joy to her in those short 13 years. She also said that it was so hard for her at first, but that it only got easier because he was so easy to love. I agreed with her, loving Maddie has never been the hard part, but learning to love the Down syndrome has been a struggle at times.

The instant connection I have with other mothers of children with Down syndrome, the shared bond between us, this common knowledge of what we have gone through, and our endless love for our children, the wish for acceptance and love for our children is an amazing thing. I wondered how badly it stung for her as she ripped the bandaid off to tell me about her son, but she did tell me that seeing Maddie brought a lot of memories back for her. I hope that they were good memories and I am so appreciative that she was willing to share and open up with me.

Life's Beauty

2010-11-08T19:38:00.000-08:00

"The clarity of life’s beauty is more evident when the struggle for that beauty is more difficult." - Paul Daugherty

This quote seems fitting for our last few months and then the turn of events last week. For months Maddie has been progressing very nicely. She's done a wonderful job babbling, smiling, lifting her head up, reaching for toys, etc, but I feel like there have been no major developments since she was 7 weeks old and she started rolling over. So, for the last 7 months we have been working on the next step, and it's finally here!

Maddie is sitting up, and it is BEAUTIFUL! After months of physical therapy and practice, she's sitting up! I was hesitant to announce it at first, thinking that I might be prematurely jumping the gun, but she's doing it, and for long stretches at a time, too. She will start to wobble and quickly corrects herself so that she doesn't fall over. She's finally got the hang of it, and is loving her newfound independence. She loves that she can see more, play more, and is down on the ground with Aiden actually playing instead of lying next to him.

I don't think I appreciated sitting up with Aiden as much as I do now with Maddie. One day, shortly after Aiden was 5 months old, he just decided that it was time to sit on his own. We hadn't really practiced it with him much, just a few times, and he got it. So it wasn't as big of a deal as it is now with Maddie. Don't get me wrong, I was happy and proud of Aiden when he did it, but I hadn't invested a lot into making him do it. With Maddie, not only have I invested time and energy into practicing with her, but a team of people have invested time and energy into her, too. It makes it extra sweet, and special, and I couldn't be more elated about it.

Aiden is excited about this new turn of events, too. He can interact and play with Maddie more than he could before. And, they are adorable playing together! This was the image I had in my head when I was pregnant with Maddie, imagining Aiden playing with his sister.

Although, I have started to see some jealousy come out during their playing together. Maddie can get into more of his things and he has a hard time sharing his toys with her. He will often take away something she has been playing with, and replace it with something else. I guess he figures if he gives her a different toy, then it doesn't matter what he took away from her. We're going to need a little work on this. Luckily, Maddie is pretty easy-going and willingly accepts the new toy every time. Hopefully, we can work on this with Aiden before Maddie starts to get upset about it.

There's more news, too. She's waving "Hi" and lifting her arms in the air for a game of "So Big!"! She knows when I am waving to her and will wave back, stop when I stop, and start back up when I do! I took a sign language class after Maddie was born at the hospital and they said that a good time to start signing with your child is when they can wave, because it means that they have made the connection that a sign actually means something. I have been signing things at mealtimes to her for a while, but you better believe I'm ready to start doing more!!

She has also figured out how to turn on one of her favorite toys. This toy has been such a great motivator for her since she was born. It's the first toy she started to track with her eyes. She loves that it lights up and that it plays music, and will stop anything else that she is doing when this toy turns on. The fact that she can now control it and make it play over and over, fascinates her.

Next stop is crawling, but I'm going to sit and savor these milestones for a little bit longer!

Halloween, Zoo Boo, and a Party

2010-11-07T08:04:00.000-08:00

I had to show a picture of our sad looking pumpkins. Grant and Aiden carved them a week before Halloween and this is what they looked like 3 days before Halloween. Poor pumpkins.

This was the first year Aiden really got into the Halloween spirit. He knew about dressing up, pretending he was something else, and the candy. Plus, he was excited about all three. We had been talking for a few months about what Aiden wanted to be for Halloween, at first he said "Super Why", which is a character from one of his favorite cartoons, then he changed his mind to a pirate, and he finally settled on a shark (which he is now obsessed with). He loved his costume this year, and has been dressing up randomly in the costume to pretend he is a shark. He loves the costume so much that even though he is sweating in it, he refuses to take it off until he's done playing.

Maddie decided she wanted to be a nice warm and cozy ladybug.

Every Halloween season we take Aiden to ZooBoo. I'm really not sure what my obsession is with making sure we go to the Zoo for this event, there are always huge crowds, you can't see the animals very well, and the line for the different candy stations is always long. But, none the less, I feel like any chance we get to dress up the kids in their Halloween outfits and parade them in front of other people, is a good time. So this year was no different.

We had a lot of fun at ZooBoo and spent most of our time in lines for the haunted house, train ride, and concession stand.

Halloween day, our friends threw a baby Halloween party. I was a little worried that Maddie would get too hot in her ladybug costume, so I improvised and made her into a Material Girl with things I had around the house for her. You can't see it in the picture, but she's wearing a Madonna onesie.

Our hostess and her daughter... she made the parrot costume... I wish I were that talented.

We had a great time seeing all the kids in their costumes, it was a great idea to have a little party for all the kiddos. Thanks Cara and Tommy!

After leaving the party, we headed home to get ready for the main event... trick-or-treating!

This was the first year that we weren't out of town for Halloween and I was a little worried about how the turn out would be in our neighborhood. It was perfect though! There were tons of houses that were ready for trick-or-treaters, but not a lot of kids trick-or-treating, which meant that houses were giving away candy by the handful! Aiden had a great time and I was so impressed with how he would say "trick-or-treat", "Happy Halloween", and "Thank you" at each house.

Field Trip

2010-11-02T13:33:00.000-07:00

Last Wednesday, Aiden's school went on a field trip to Reilly's Summer Seat Farms. This was Aiden's first field trip and first ride on a school bus. He couldn't have been more excited! The school invited one parent to join their child on the field trip. So, Maddie went to a friend's house for the morning and I joined Aiden at the Pumpkin Patch. Two Pumpkin Patches in one month, plus spending the morning with just Aiden... I was super excited!!

We got to school early and waited to line up for the busses. When we finally got a little closer to the busses, Aiden and a couple of the other kids started to get nervous about getting on, but when it was his turn, Aiden's smile was almost bigger than his face! He slowly walked up the stairs examining the driver's seat and then proceeded to carefully inspect each row of seats as if he were worried that there would be a quiz later where he would have to describe every detail on the bus.

After picking out the perfect seat on the bus, he slid in with this sly grin on is face trying to hide how fascinated he was with the whole experience. The bus hadn't even started moving yet when Aiden looked at me very seriously and said, "Mommy, I don't see the Pumpkin Patch yet." After I explained that the bus was going to drive us to the Pumpkin Patch, he looked at me worriedly and said, "But, I don't have on a seatbelt!"

After we got to the Farm, we waited in line to get on the hayride to the pumpkin patch. It obviously wasn't as exciting as the bus ride, but he did get to sit next to his friend Francesca, who he was worried about on the bus because he didn't see her. Once we got to the pumpkin patch, Aiden took his job of hunting for a pumpkin very seriously. He would pick up a pumpkin, find something wrong with it, put it down and continue to the next imperfect one. Until he finally found two acceptable pumpkins and put them in his bags.

When all the kids were finished, the next stop on the hayride was the Corn Maze and Nursery Rhyme Forest. Aiden really had no interest in either of these and during the Corn Maze, my camera ran out of batteries. It probably was for the best because the only thing Aiden wanted to do after this was to eat a snack and play with his friend Lochlan, which was my favorite part.

One of our main factors in deciding to put Aiden in preschool was the fact that we don't know anyone here with kids Aiden's age. So he hasn't had many chances to socialize with other kids. We had gone to a library class when he was little, but he aged out of it, and we had put him in a gymnastics class, but he was no longer enjoying it so we took him out. Preschool gives him a chance to be with kids his own age on a daily basis and to form friendships with the same kids. Watching Aiden and Lochlan having so much fun together was awesome! They each would go and do separate things during the field trip, and then would realize that the other one had gone missing, and would then go around trying to find him. It was so sweet, and Lochlan's Mom and I had a great time talking and watching our boys play together. On the way home Lochlan wanted to be sure to sit by Aiden on the bus and so he waited to get on the bus until Aiden was ready. The two giggled and played the whole way back to school!

We had a great day together and I can't wait to go on another field trip with Aiden and his class!

And, well here's a sweet baby picture, just because.