cheeky's blog

错

2010-10-26T08:09:00.000+08:00

错了，不知道，是无知。错了，不承认，是执著。错了，还在犯，没得救。

很多时候，我们都将自己的错都推给自己的年纪去。因为我们年少，所以无知。因为年轻，所以执著。更因为犯错是年轻人的本钱，所以我们可以在去犯……

A dedication to a racist blogger who write in chinese!

2010-02-10T19:12:00.001+08:00

This post is a dedication to http://utusanmalayu.blogspot.com/.

I wrote these words as a comment to http://utusanmalayu.blogspot.com/2009/08/blog-post_7726.html, please refer!

This is the first time i browse through your blog and i totally disappointed to all your point of views.

First of all, i salute you as a Malay that can read and write in Chinese. I'm so curious when you said you are forced to learn Chinese. Are you forced by your parent? If yes, i sure your parent must have a good reason to ask you do so (I think your parent will be so sad when they see your blog. They still alive? God bless them..). Seems like you also put in some good effort in learning Chinese as well. Although you don't like it, but you still writing it in Chinese (shame to yourself for wasting time doing things you don't like).

About those Chinese bully Malays talk, is totally bull shit! Don't you know that Malay is the majority race of Malaysia? And Malaysia's politic are actually helping Malays through policies like NEP? And those policies is actually "bullying" other races in Malaysia to make it fair to Malays. Chinese totally don't have the power to bully Malays in Malaysia. Please prove that how Chinese have the power to "bully" Malays, don't simply write! If you still thinking that we are "bullying" Malays, then that mean we are "capable" to do that.

If you think Chinese and Indians are outsiders, then you are totally wrong. Of course we are competing with each other among races in Malaysia, but this is something good if the competition is fair for us. Today, we are globalized, doesn't matter we are staying inside Malaysia or outside Malaysia, we still competing to each other. As i said, since we do not have the politic power to "bully" Malays and you still saying Chinese "bullying" Malays, then you mean Malays are a loser in the competition! You are totally a STUPID, if you still believe UMNO can make you a winner since they failed to make you a winner for 50 years...

Another thing, i'm curious about your religion. Are you Muslim, are you sure you believe in you god? You are trying to humiliate all mankind and also your god. you said Indian's god is Pig.. I thought we have so call "Mamak", who is Indian Muslim in Malaysia..

Shame of you as Malaysian! You should out of this country instead of other people! You are humiliating yourself, your parent and also your god when you are humiliating other people..

Happy New Year 2010

2010-01-01T10:43:00.000+08:00

Today is the first day of the year 2010. New year is a mark for the end of 2009 and the starting of 2010. Unfortunately, this is not a holiday for Johor, Malaysia. For me, i feel i'm so lucky for today.. Because i don't have class! Yippee!
Everyone is asking, "how you countdown for this new year?" when i on my msn. This is my answer, "i ate steamboat buffet with my coursemates as the celebration party". Unfortunately, we have to back campus before 12am, so we have to countdown inside campus. Inside UTM, we don't have fireworks, so we played a firework ringtone to and countdown in a basketball court... Funny?
On morning, i browse to Google simply clicking "i'm feeling lucky" and the fireworks animation is out.. wow, that's cool. Thank you Google. Try it out if you are still lucky enough to see the firework from Google..
I also tried to search for new year in Google, i found out a lot of greetings, wishes, celebration video, cards and calendar. Below are 2 things that i feel interesting to share with you all:-
Happy new year greetings:
Hope this New Year brings you, Hopes for a bright future, Affection and Love, Peace for the heart, Prosperity that’s unlimited, Year-round fun. Happy New Year!

Sending you my warmest wishes… For a year filled with good cheer, joy and peace. Wishing you a very Happy and a Prosperous New Year!

May your New Year be blessed with peace, love and joy. Sending you my heartfelt wishes with joy that never ends. Wishing you a very Happy New Year.

Wishing you a New Year filled with joy, peace and prosperity. Happy New Year 2010!

May your world be filled with warmth, joy and good cheer.. Wishing you a Happy New Year 2010!

Wishing you a year filled with joy, peace and happiness. Happy New Year!

May every day of the new year glow with good cheer and happiness for you and your family. Happy New Year!

May each day of the New Year bring happiness, good cheer and sweet surprises to you and all your dear ones. Happy New Year!

Dawning of the New Year.. New Hopes, New Joys, and New Beginnings. Here’s wishing each new day brings for you.. happiness, prosperity and continued success!

“Hi Friend. Happy New Year! We heal our minds whenever we let bad memories go; we heak our souls whenever we pray; and we heal our hearts whenever we forgive. Let’s be more loving this coming New Year!”

“May this NEW YEAR be a song of THANKSGIVING, an offering of PRAISE, a celebration of GOD’S LOVE in HIS Amazing GRACE! A blessed & joyous New Year to you and your family!”

“Wishing you and your family the timeless treasures of Christ…the warmth of home, the love of family and the company of good friends. Have a blessed and a happy New Year!”

“A blessing becomes a blessing when spoken. So I declare that you are blessed with a loving family, good health, faith, favor, promotion and provision. A blessed New Year to you and your family!”

“New day, new blessings. Don’t let yesterday’s failures ruin the beauty of today. Blessings of God are new every morning. Today has its own promise of love, forgiveness, joy and success.Happy New Year!”

“May God continue to bless you and your family with divine light, love and power that will bring much love, joy, peace, inner strength and overflowing abundance in your home.Happy New Year!”

“”For last year’s words belong to last year’s language And next year’s words await another voice. And to make an end is to make a beginning.”

“”Be at war with your vices; at peace with your neighbors, and let every new year find you a better man.”

“This is the last day of the year,
they call it new years eve,
look back at all the memories,
this year you’re going to leave”

“Another fresh new year is here,
Another year to live!
To banish worry, doubt, and fear,
To love and laugh and give!”

“New Year begins, lets pray,
that it wl be a year with new Peace,
New Happiness, and abundance of new friends,
God bless you through out the New Year.”

“Do all the good u can,
By all the means u can,
In all the ways u can,
In all the places u can,
At all the times u can
HapPy New YeaR”

“O my Dear, forget your fear,
Let all your dreams be clear,
Never put tear, please hear,
I want to tell one thing in your ear,
HAPPY NEW YEAR!”
"Happy New Year" in many languages:
Afgani Saale Nao Mubbarak
Afrikaans Gelukkige nuwe jaar
Albanian Gezuar Vitin e Ri
Armenian Snorhavor Nor Tari
Arabic Kul 'am wa antum bikhair
Assyrian Sheta Brikhta
Azeri Yeni Iliniz Mubarek!
Bengali Shuvo Nabo Barsho
Breton [Celtic Brythonic language] Bloavezh Mat
Bulgarian Chestita Nova Godina
Cambodian Soursdey Chhnam Tmei
Catalan FELIÇ ANY NOU
Chinese Xin Nian Kuai Le
Corsican Language Pace e Salute
Croatian Sretna Nova godina!
Cymraeg (Welsh) Blwyddyn Newydd Dda
Czech Šťastný Nový rok (or Stastny Novy rok)
Denish Godt Nytår
Dhivehi Ufaaveri Aa Aharakah Edhen
Dutch GELUKKIG NIEUWJAAR!
Eskimo Kiortame pivdluaritlo
Esperanto Felican Novan Jaron
Estonians Head uut aastat!
Ethiopian: MELKAM ADDIS AMET YIHUNELIWO!
Ethiopian/Eritrean Tigrigna RUHUS HADUSH AMET
Finnish Onnellista Uutta Vuotta
French Bonne Annee
Gaelic Bliadhna mhath ur
Galician [NorthWestern Spain] Bo Nadal e Feliz Aninovo
German Prosit Neujahr
Georgian GILOTSAVT AKHAL TSELS!
Greek Kenourios Chronos
Gujarati Nutan Varshbhinandan
Hawaiian Hauoli Makahiki Hou
Hebrew L'Shannah Tovah
Hindi Naye Varsha Ki Shubhkamanyen
Hong kong (Cantonese) Sun Leen Fai Lok
Hungarian Boldog Új Évet Kivánok
Indonesian Selamat Tahun Baru
Iranian Sal -e- no mobarak
Iraqi Sanah Jadidah
Irish Bliain nua fe mhaise dhuit
Italian: Felice anno nuovo
Japan: Akimashite Omedetto Gozaimasu
Kabyle: Asegwas Amegaz
Kannada: Hosa Varushadha Shubhashayagalu
Kisii: SOMWAKA OMOYIA OMUYA
Khasi Snem Thymmai Basuk Iaphi
Khmer: Sua Sdei tfnam tmei
Korea: Saehae Bock Mani ba deu sei yo!
Kurdish: NEWROZ PIROZBE
Latvian Laimīgo Jauno Gadu!
Lithuanian: Laimingu Naujuju Metu
Laotian: Sabai dee pee mai
Macedonian Srekjna Nova Godina
Madagascar Tratry ny taona
Malay Selamat Tahun Baru
Marathi : Nveen Varshachy Shubhechcha
Malayalam : Puthuvatsara Aashamsakal
Mizo Kum Thar Chibai
Maltese Is-Sena t- Tajba
Nepal Nawa Barsha ko Shuvakamana
Norwegian Godt Nyttår
Oriya Nua Barshara Subhechha
Papua New Guinea Nupela yia i go long yu
Pampango (Philippines) Masaganang Bayung Banua
Pashto Nawai Kall Mo Mubarak Shah
Persian Sal -e- no mobarak
Philippines Manigong Bagong Taon!
Polish: Szczesliwego Nowego Roku
Portuguese Feliz Ano Novo
Punjabi Nave sal di mubarak
Romanian AN NOU FERICIT
Russian S Novim Godom
Samoa Manuia le Tausaga Fou
Serbo-Croatian Sretna nova godina
Sindhi Nayou Saal Mubbarak Hoje
Singhalese Subha Aluth Awrudhak Vewa
Siraiki Nawan Saal Shala Mubarak Theevay
Slovak Stastny Novy rok
Slovenian sreèno novo leto
Somali Iyo Sanad Cusub Oo Fiican!
Spanish Feliz Ano ~Nuevo
Swahili Heri Za Mwaka Mpyaº
Swedish GOTT NYTT ÅR! /Gott nytt år!
Sudanese Warsa Enggal
Tamil Eniya Puthandu Nalvazhthukkal
Tibetian Losar Tashi Delek
Telegu Noothana samvatsara shubhakankshalu
Thai Sawadee Pee Mai
Turkish Yeni Yiliniz Kutlu Olsun
Ukrainian Shchastlyvoho Novoho Roku
Urdu Naya Saal Mubbarak Ho
Uzbek Yangi Yil Bilan
Vietnamese Chuc Mung Tan Nien
Welsh : Blwyddyn Newydd Dda!

Promises

2009-09-14T16:01:00.000+08:00

Recently, I’m reading a book written by Amy Cheung. In a passage, she said something about promise. There is some kind of virtual promise existed in the nature human relationship. This kind of promise is not documented or even never mentioned by anyone.

For friends trust and sincere are the virtual promises that live between them, they will never become friend if they do not trust and being sincere to each other. For family members, the virtual promise existed is some kind of support, family members will support each other during difficult times. For lovers, love and care are the virtual promises, guys will taking care of girls is because of love, not because guys is stronger than girls. The effort to maintain the marriage is the virtual promise that exist between husband and wife.

After reading these, I think these promises existed as the most basic element to maintain a relationship. The promise will be broken when the relationship ends. Promises seem like something really good to everyone. Last but not least, I wish all these good promises stay keeping among us.

Matrix

2009-08-22T19:09:00.000+08:00

还记得有一部叫Matrix的电影吗？这部电影描述着一个虚拟世界。那里，所有能被看见的事情和感觉都是虚拟的。生活在虚拟世界的人，明知道这一切都不是真实的，但却宁愿沉醉其中。是真的还是假的都已不再是重点了！最重要的是这虚拟的一切能够填满大家生活上的空虚。

我想现实的世界也是一样，所有发生在我们眼前的事实未必真实。很多时候，我们都在逃避现实，宁可相信和接受虚假的事。

在现实的世界里，每个人都想要快乐度过每一天。所以，大家都在努力寻找属于自己的喜乐。有些人将所谓的“乐趣”当作是一种喜乐。但是，所谓的“乐趣”是很容易得到的，可以是看部喜剧、让小丑逗笑……但是，这是真正的快乐吗？这种快乐能为此多久？

有人告诉我，他在大学做过许多伟大的事。他曾经为学生福利斗争，成功要求校方统一食物售价，阻止商家以通货膨胀为大肆涨价的借口。斗争成功后，我们到处都看见校方统一售价的布条悬挂在各大食堂，但是新的学期来临时，食物比以前涨价得更厉害，这些布条也不知所踪了。斗争成功了又怎样？成功能维持多久？一个人在这世界的历史中存在多久？成功真的是属于你一个人吗？还是因为大势的趋向，你才会成功呢？

近年，马来西亚人民对民主和自由的意识提高许多了。在走向民主和自由的同时，我们都必须付出代价。人民是否准备付出这些代价了？肚子都填不饱，还能谈民主和自由吗？有一个学长问我，“身为大学生的我们真的愿意为民主和自由付出代价吗？我们能为民主和自由做什么？到街头去示威？万一被开除的话，值得吗？你为国家斗争，给国家带来了希望。你牺牲了，谁还你父母希望？”这一切斗争的意义在哪里了？

成绩很好，又有什么了不起？活动办得很好又怎样？这不表示你是个好学生。试问你自己，是否有做好一个学生的本分？是否有学以致用？是否充分利用自己在学校的时间？漂亮的成绩单和办活动的履历都是一种虚荣。因为你以后都不靠这一些吃饭，也不靠这一些来证明你的能力。漂亮的成绩单是好的，密密麻麻的办活动履历更是了不起，但是我却认为优秀的人格才是最珍贵难得的。

结交朋友是人生一大快事。试问，在众多朋友中，有多少个是真心的？真心的有多真？知己又有多少个？关系又能维持多久？他在你心目中有最高的地位，你在他心目中也同样有这样高的地位吗？这种友好关系是真的这样好，还是做作而已？

天底下，虚假的事情多的是，真实的事情却没有几样。流传在空中的尽是假话，真心话越来越少了。似乎，所有事都是虚假的。

寻找

2009-07-30T01:50:00.000+08:00

这两年，我并没有过着我理想中的大学生活。第一年，试着用各种方式来努力忘记她。结果，让自己拼命参与各种活动，想让自己过着忙碌的生活来冲淡一切。试着忘记她的同时，也不小心忘了自己的理想和原则。经常在埋怨，讨厌别人不守时，讨厌华人的陋俗，不喜欢大家为做而做，没有创新，没有新意。第二年，延续第一年的忙碌在活动中奔波，不晓得自己是为什么而做。想要突破瓶颈，想要改变，结果换来的是改变了自己。是为理想吗？怎么又会舍得让自己抛开那执着多年的原则？早就想要放弃了，为什么不舍得放手？终于累了……

每当要放手的时候，都有不同的诱惑。你不搞活动，就来跟我们一起搞直销吧！直销“钱”途无可限量，这里的人有同样的理想，你需要这么多跟你一起吃喝玩乐的朋友来干嘛？即将踏入社会，未来和“钱”途是不得不考虑的问题。他们对我说希望和梦想是可以用钱来买到的，没钱就不要梦想了。我不相信钱能买到理想！我相信天底下没有白费的午餐，我更相信可以用钱买来的理想是分文不值的，只有付出时间、精神、努力和坚持所换来的理想才是有价值的，所以我依然坚持要让自己在Computer Science里闯出属于自己的天空。

不能再依赖她的日子里，自己也逐渐变得冷漠了，真情也不再流露出来。原来，她也带走了我面对全世界的勇气，失去了真心对待朋友的勇气，觉得其他人跟她没两样，还是不要太投入比较好。陪伴我的只有一把口琴，空闲时就拿出来吹，心情是开心或不开心都无法用韵律来掩盖。面对虚假的人，我的笑脸也自然虚假，现实的人生就好像圣经所说的那样虚空。有时候，是要交朋友还是要应酬朋友，我也搞不清楚了。有人说，我需要爱情来滋润人生，我却因为种种因素不想要在大学里交女朋友，我坚持要让自己在这些日子里更清楚看见真爱情。我相信，如果真的能在一起一辈子，三年又算得了什么呢？如果注定不能在一起，又何苦要逼自己去坚持这三年呢？

辉煌的过去和潦倒的现在都不再重要，未来的去向才是我活着的原因。我为什么而活？难道我就没有未来了？迷茫的生活让我更加清楚自己要往哪里走下去。未来的路会让我走多远，无法预测。过去的好和坏，不再重要，不值得我遗憾，也不值得我伤心。一直以来，我总是相信自己多过相信上帝。但这一次，我开始怀疑自己的判断了。这三个月里，我看见的上帝的奇妙作为，实在是难以置信，但是这一切就是发生了。我想尝试将这一切都交给上帝决定我的未来，但又有人对我说这是最愚蠢的做法了，简直就是在逃避现实。要如何面对才好呢？我不知道，我还在寻找……

Seek… What if…

2009-07-12T23:22:00.000+08:00

This is the welcoming activity theme for Inter-Varsity Christian Centre UTM (the church I joined in UTM). I can’t remember the theme meaning as the long definition that defined by the committee. But, I have my own interpretation here. Hope it’s not much different from the original interpretation from committee.

“Seek” is the common action that most of us doing in university life. Seeking for knowledge, friends, career path, love, money… What I understand about the word “seek” is quite direct and simple, but the phrase “what if” left a lot of imagination to me.

For me, I have 2 situations that I’ll feel uncertain if I face either of these situations. First situation is when I found everything that I’m seeking. The second situation is when I lost everything I have. The first situation is not applicable to me, but the second situation is quite relevant to my situation now.

I’m from non-Christian family and converted to a Christian in the Christmas baptism of year 2006 in Madras Lane Chinese Methodist Church. My ex-girlfriend is the one who brought me to Christ. Eventually, we broke up the 2 years realationship in one month time after I baptized. This will be a biggest lie from me if I tell you that the broke up doesn’t affect my faith.

Once I taught that she was my angel in my life, but she become a devil come into my nightmare at the end. Now, she became a totally stranger to me. I tried hard to forget about her, I let myself to become busy to forget about her, I even seldom back to places visited by us before, just to forget about her. Now, she became nothing to me, no longer affecting my emotion. But, I have price to pay for this 2 years period.

I denied some precious moment with friends when making myself busy. My best friend advice me that I have to manage relationship well, everyone need somebody to support them from behind when doing things. Besides that, I also lost my faith to God while I denying the opportunities to serve in church. In most of the cell group activity, we shared our thanksgiving to God within the week. Sometimes, I feel that I have nothing to say for thanksgiving… This is a symptom for a Christian to end up in hell.

After baptized, I’m not a holy Christian, also not faithful, not humble, and a sinful Christian. Generally, I found myself have no different from non-Christian. Sometimes, I even become unsure when my friends tell me that people will not die because of no religion. But, what is the purpose you live if you believe in nothing? I think this is some kind of curse to me within the period.

Undergo life without direction in 2 years time, I found that I have not much improvement, I even lost my self confidence. Now, I changed my lifestyle to become more passive. Especially in this 2 months time, I become more cool to friends and taking a passive role in anything. I’m lost between my principle and friends, not sure that I should lose my friend or my principle, feeling hard to keep it both. In short, I’m lost in my life…

I’m still seeking for the purpose of my life that I lost just before I enter university. I think I have a model life for youth before I enter university. Working part time in a pharmacy, joined a non-governmental organization, served in church as Sunday school teacher, consulting a club in my secondary school, good relationship with school mates, also have a lovely girlfriend. I think I have my purpose of life during that time… But now, all this disappear from me.

What am I now? I not sure that the role that I should play now… On coming weekend, is IVCC welcoming camp. This will be the very first time for me to participate my church’s welcoming camp. Hope to found what I’m seeking there…

Written on 12 July 2009

Sweet talks

2009-07-04T01:29:00.000+08:00

ONE

I don’t want to call on you because I don’t want let you know that I miss you...

When my phone ring, I will wait for 10 seconds before I answer the phone although I know you are calling me. I always feel nervous while chatting with you, so I make our conversation short and simple.

Always, I’m the first one who ended our conversation with ‘good bye’, but it doesn’t mean I’m cool. I wish to chat with you over night, but I feel nervous.

Every time you send me back to my house, I hope to be with you forever. But, I still turned around and say ‘good bye’ to you. When you turned back to your vehicle, I turned around to watch you for several time and don’t want let you know my feeling.

Why I’m so timid? Don’t dare to go closer with you?

TWO

“Actually, I’m looking for you on something important.. Can we meet up somewhere?”

“Hi, you arrived finally. Let have our dinner..”

We chat happily during meet up, but we chat nothing important. We also forgot about the reason we meet up here tonight.

Actually, I have something important to tell you, “I just want see you for tonight.”

THREE

Lover will stay away from another when he or she need it. Lover will never leave when he or she don’t need it.

I stayed away from you when you tell me you need me is not because I’m cool. It’s because I hope you will appreciate me more in future.

I stay away from you is because I want to date me again.

I stayed away from you is because I want to let you know that I still angry and want you to endure me.

I don’t leave you when you ask me to do so.. Do I need a reason for that?

I don’t leave you when you ask me to do so is because I realized something good about you.

I don’t leave you when you ask me to do so is because I regret about my fault..

Written on 4th July 2009

13th June 2009

2009-06-13T11:17:00.000+08:00

13^th June 2009, a Saturday that no need attend company meeting, so all my house mates and also my colleague planned something to fill the spare time on this weekend. I planned nothing for myself on this weekend, and also not following their plan to find friends in Taman U. Initially, I planned to help up my pastor in Taman U, but last night she told me that there is an event going on for her church on this weekend, so she suggested that we postponed our plan to next week. As the result, I have no plan for this weekend!

Don’t know what can I do for this weekend. I want to spend some time to learn about Javascript and find some solution for the system I developing, I want to go church on night, I want to have a new hair cut, I want to clean up my hostel and all my clothes.. but, I don’t want to be alone at home..

Afraid that the lonely feel will kill me in these 2 days.. Online? Facebook? MSN? Hey, this is Saturday lehh.. Everyone planned something. Go dating, back hometown, visit friends... Feeling stupid just spending my Saturday for online.. What to do?

Here is what I did for today:-

I washed my clothes on morning while others is still sleeping. Before leaving hostel, Chee Ho send me a link through MSN. The link led me to a Youtube video that mourning Zhi Theng, my friend who rested in peace on Thursday night. It has been I very long time I didn’t hear any news about Zhi Theng after Form 5. Suddenly, I received a message from Chee Leng that mentioned the bad news. Feeling unbelievable.. But, it’s fact. Life is so fragile..

Without delay, we go restaurant nearby to have Dim Sum as our breakfast plus lunch. This afternoon I managed to fix my motor and have a new hair cut in You & Me. Then, I leaved Taman U on 5.00p.m.

6.30p.m., I reached Johorjaya Rosmerah. The air-conditioner is a little bit cold due to the rainy weather. Walked alone to the way back to hostel, suddenly I think of having dinner first before back to my hostel. So, I changed my way to Mei Hwa Café to have my economy rice.

Returned to hostel to take a shower after having dinner. I decided just buy a fit-to-live house in future when looking into my hostel. The feeling of being alone at home is really fearful.. The hostel is so silent.. Silent until I can listen to my heart beat..

8.00p.m., Zi Feng fetched me to church at Anggerik, Johorjaya. Today, we discuss about Sadness as a modern community sickness. I found that I have all the symptoms they mentioned in the discussion. Cool, have no feeling to love, self conscious, sleepless insomnia, bad appetite, no confident, down, pessimistic, hopeless.. Seem like I really need to arrange a counseling session for myself soon..

After the fellowship, Zhi Xiong invited me to a nearby mamak stall for yam cha. I just knew this guy through the fellowship just now. During the yam cha session, we shared our experience. We are both converted Christian in non-Christian family background. I have similar feeling when I listen to his sharing.. Feel good to know him here..

11.37p.m., reached my hostel and start blogging.. That’s all for today.. nitez..

Conflict

2009-05-31T21:45:00.000+08:00

Recently, I’m conflicting among myself. Not sure whether I should change someone mind, for his good and become his enemy at last. Or let him go for the mistake, and learn from there. The situations here, seems like the second choice is a smarter way. But, it’s really hard for me to bear that mistake, because the mistake will affect me in another way. Which one should I choose between friendship and my principle?

What will people do when they found a problem? Run away from it? Face it? Solve it? From successful people, of course we know we should face and solve the problem rather running away from it. But, how many of us are brave enough to face the reality? Problem will still exists, if do not solve it now. Maybe it will become greater when we facing it tomorrow.

The day my father get stroke, I went to hospital in school uniform. A doctor come and talk to me, he introduced himself as the ex-student of my school. I told him that my father get stroke and ask him whether got anyway to cure my dad. He told me to be calm, my father need my support. He tell me a truth, he said nothing can cure stroke, only prevention can be made. People never feel harm when they know that they have high blood pressure. But, why people taking medicine to lower down their blood pressure? Because they already know the result of high blood pressure is to get stroke. For those who don’t want to face reality will end up here getting stroke. They see the situation now have no harm to him, so he don’t take the medicine advised by doctor, they never realize that the mindset killing them softly until they found out they get stroke in bed.

Since then, I know I have to face the reality is an important attitude. The difference in thought will give us to different result. Actually, we already decided the result when we have the thought in our mindset.

Sometimes, I feel I’m the trouble maker for this world. Other people never happy when I told them that I see that is a potential problem there. The world will become peace, if people like me doesn’t exists? May be yes, may be no.

Who cares about what they will be facing in future? Most of the people just see what they see is true in front of them. Why need to do so much to forsee your future? You will know it when you see the result.

There is an elephant outside the refrigerator

2009-05-19T23:28:00.000+08:00

This is not my story.. Just a touching story to share..

There is a little girl who has a lovely father. But, she never appreciated it. She feels shame when her friends making jokes on her 200 pounds father. She is always sensitive with the word Pig!

Every day, her father sent her to school. This girl never know that is the most happy thing for a child. One day, she cannot stand for the shame anymore.. She told her father no need to send her to school anymore and tell her father the shame she felt every day.

His father ask him what is the steps to put an elephant into the refrigerator. The answer is to open the refrigerator door, put the elephant into it and close the door. He told the girl with smiles, although the elephant is big size, but the refrigerator still willing to fit it into it… The girl smiled and says, “Then you are the elephant in refrigerator…”

Their family is really poor, they just rent a small unit of apartment to stay. One day, the girl ask her father.. Why we dun have home? Her father ask her a question, how to place a giraffe into refrigerator? She say, open the door, chop the giraffe head, put the giraffe into refrigerator and close the door. Her father says, “Don’t make things difficult, you just need to open the door, bring the elephant out, place the giraffe in the refrigerator, then close the door.” He continued, “Girl, you see giraffe also have it house now, the refrigerator is it home… What you need is a home, not a house…”

One day, her mother told her that, “Girl, one day the jungle is on fire. Which animal still alive? Is giraffe! Because you put it into refrigerator…” That girl don’t get what her mother mean and replied, “So?” Her mother cried and said, “The elephant also died in the fire! Your father is dead. He will never come back to us again.” That girl cried out, “Why this happen to me? Why I choose to let elephant stay outside the refrigerator? Why I cannot accept my father big size? ”

The death of father change that girl’s life, happiness and luck no longer belong to her… For others, happy may because you have the one you love as your lover, or you have one love you as your lover, or you have your success in career… For her, happy is just two things, one is to have someone love you and someone you love at the same time, another one is to have a warm home…

What if the giraffe never exist, will the story end happily? No, the elephant will also die because of freezing in the refrigerator…

Sometimes, people may lost their mind, lost in their life and forgot the way to go home… A sub story worth for us to think of it… Recently, she read a lost and found notice in newspaper. There is a bee looking for 5 ants. Maybe the ants are lost or forget their home. So, she called up that bee and told him that she willing to help him to find out the 5 ants. But, the bee told her no need to find the ants for him anymore, because he already gave up. The bee told her that happy is no voice itself. So, you never realize it existence whenever it surround you, and you never appreciated it until the happiness lost in air and never come back to you again…

19th May 2009

Poem

2009-05-18T22:03:00.000+08:00

During my secondary time, a few of my friends can make good poem. We use poem to criticize people and more important is to express our feeling. Recently, I make a poem by merging two sentences from a song. Then, I placed the poem in my msn personal message.

Then, a few guys message me and ask me about that. I told them that I make this poem for fun, but they say the poem also mean my feeling in another way. I admit it.

人走了就让心死了，你走了就让门关着了.. Direct translation of this poem: If someone leaved, let the heart die. If you leaved, let the door close. What a pessimistic poem. As a result, I get scolded for being thinking pessimistic. I agree that I’m pessimistic in most of the time. Sorry friends, I need time to have my new life. Forget the past… and forgive myself for my guiltiness.

痛

2009-04-09T20:42:00.000+08:00

自从欣雨离开以后，展鹏的心里的那一块也被她带走了，剩下的只是一个空虚的躯体。不断地尝试去寻找回自己的灵魂，也曾经尝试让忙碌的生活填满空虚的心灵，希望疲惫的躯体能够忘了自己失去的那一块。结果换来的是更加的空虚与寂寞，还有更多的痛楚……忙碌的生活，失去了目标与焦点，也忘记了自己是谁。告诉别人自己是个冰冷的机器人，只会做工，只会读书，自己失去情感也不顾及身边每一个人的感受。

心里的痛比身体的痛难熬。失去了她就好像失去了全世界；被她遗弃就好像被全世界遗弃了。想让身体痛来让自己忘记心里的痛。希望自己遇上几个恶匪，跟他们来场恶斗，伏诛他们，也让他们在自己身上捅几刀。死去就算是一种解脱，也不白死，活着也至少有一些贡献。

依稀记得跟她拥抱时，总是觉得我们本来就是一体的两个人的感觉。无法忘了自己的那一块被硬生生扯开的痛楚。不明白为什么原是一体的两个人会分开结果。曾经以为那就是所谓的天长地了……后悔自己当初为她放弃了全部朋友，受伤后没有人来安慰，这只能怪自己太单纯了。不明白为什么童话依然是故事，但是终于知道现实总是残酷的了。

痛真的让人长大吗？思念着她时，心总是楚楚的痛着，仿佛要逼自己要忘记她。但是，真的能忘了这甜蜜的回忆吗？应该让这甜蜜的回忆留在心中吗？无法忘记第一次对白的码头与黄昏，无法忘记跨越友谊的高原，无法忘记她微笑点头的堤防，无法忘记一起去过的每一个地方，更无法忘记2009年的约定……都忘不了。童话里都是骗人的……First and the last?都是骗人的谎言！

恨，恨她离开时也带走了自己的心，恨这世界怎么没有其他能够填满自己的心灵的人？怪自己太爱她，怪自己不珍惜她，怪自己当初狠狠地给了她那挽不回的巴掌。但是更多的还是遗憾……遗憾自己失去美好的，遗憾连朋友都不如，遗憾当初自己放下爱情选择了面包，遗憾这世界又多了一个最熟悉彼此的陌生人。

也许，上天早就已经注定他们不能在一起了。水里的鱼（欣雨）怎么能跟天空中的鸟（展鹏）在一起呢？有人说：“何必在乎天长与地久，至少曾经拥有过就好……”如果真的能永远在一起，还有谁会在乎曾经拥有？既然已经注定不能在一起，再难再痛也应该有个了结了吧！想将她还回来的戒指带到她微笑点头的堤防投进海里，想将过去美好的回忆写成小说、拍成电影。

事隔多年，痛也不再痛了。等待着她的银表也停了下来……听说她的未来也有了安排，想要祝福她。展鹏真的将她放下了……很快，展鹏就像自己的名字像一只展开翅膀的大鸟也去寻找自己的未来与梦想了。虽然，很想要再次恋爱来证明自己已经痊愈了……但还是很怕，怕自己无法找到一个比她更好的，怕自己再次受伤害，怕自己无法对另一个人像对她一样好……希望找一个能够填满自己心灵的另一半，希望有人能够像她这样了解自己，希望有人能够比她更能体谅自己，让自己也能够同时有时间给朋友、家人和事业。

人，就只有这短暂的一辈子。但是往往一起走到最后的，很多时候都不是一起开跑的人。在完全放下之前，不想对不起别人，所以不想任何恋爱。前程茫茫，不知道自己会怎样，所以也不敢恋爱，怕辜负了别人。当然，也不能让自己随便跟一个单纯的小妹妹说会天长地久……如果发生的一切好像偶像剧一样完美，谁还会有这样多担忧了？学习向现实低头，将一切交给未来吧！

终于领悟喜欢、爱和能不能永远在一起是三件不同的事。喜欢是可以来自单方面的，也不需要任何回报，爱则是来自双方面的，但是能不能永远在一起才是现实。

Flash in mind

2009-01-30T00:38:00.000+08:00

Recently, this concept came into my mind. Be appreciated whenever you have a choice in hand, and don’t blame anyone or anything when you don’t have choice!

When we have the right to choose, we can choose the best option available. Doesn’t matter the result is good or bad… We already do with our utmost ability. This is the best we can do… The rest is fate.

Another thing, I’m more respect those who have better personality if compare with those who with better ability. Is not the matter of how many great things that you did to this world, but how good are you in being a human being.

You must be a good mankind before you consider good in anything… I strongly believe in this! What happened recently remind my believing.

Something funny on Youtube..

2009-01-28T12:04:00.000+08:00

This is something funny i found on youtube during my boring Chinese New Year...

Third Semester

2008-12-28T21:08:00.000+08:00

The third semester of my university life had come to its end. And the fourth semester will be starting soon. I have a total of six semesters to be in UTM, now three had pass. That mean I had gone through the half way of my university life. In another one and half year time, I’ll end up in working environment. I hope the economy will be better after I enter working environment.

For the third semester, I would like to make some conclusion. This is an unhappy semester for me here. I feel not satisfy for the relationship with all my friends and not satisfy with what I faced in activities.

First of all, I would like to comment on the activities. I don’t mean that the activities I joined is not good nor wasting my time. But I think I have other better option in my personal improvement. Actually I have a higher expectation to university activities. And I also believe that the activity environment is the best place for us to grow. I believe that the activity environment should let everyone to dream and realize their dream.

If comparing to my thesis, I think I can realize what I thinking through my thesis. So, I’ll put down some of my activities and concentrate to my thesis. Besides that, I feeling the first class honour is very important to me. I can have more option in choosing my working environment in future.

About friends, I feel sad because not being understand and feeling uncomfortable with my best friend’s admirer. Anyway, I feel much after the holiday. Thank you to Yee Teong, because he make me smile when I tell him what I faced here. I’m not born yesterday night! What I want is true friend, I don’t need entertainers. I know who is true to me and who isn’t true to me.

Finally, is about my love. Before I back to Penang, Wan Ping called me, she asked whether I’m joining our church caroling for this Christmas. Besides that, she also asked when I can bring my girl friend back to Penang. Actually, I feel that many people concern about my love, think that I should have a girl friend now.

But, I have my different thought here. I think I shouldn’t involve in any relationship until I finish my study. There are a few reasons why I’m doing this. First I don’t have enough resource to have any relationship at this stage. I don’t have time, money and cannot provide any secure to my lover. I don’t know where to go after my graduation. Now, taking care of myself already become problematic. So, is impossible for me to take care of another person.

Some may ask me. What if I meet a suitable one and she like you too? My answer is if the suitable one is belong to me, she never run. If the love is true, let it be in trial. The time will prove it to me! Don’t you feel wasted? You don’t afraid to be single? If the love is not true, I found no reason to own it, rather be single. If can together for lifetime, why cannot wait for one and a half year?

The fourth semester is going to start shortly. Hope everything will be fine in the coming semester. Wish that I won’t make a wrong decision for my future here. And wishing everyone good luck in coming semester!

Georgetown as a world Heritage Site: The Untold Story-Heritage Cries

2008-12-26T21:29:00.000+08:00

This year, Georgetown and Malacca is recognized as the world heritage site by UNESCO. This is the first time UNESCO award the world heritage status that shared by two cities. This is a good news for Malaysia.

However, the status of world heritage site will be forfeited if one of the cities no longer fulfill the requirements or do not obey any article in the agreement. So, this had become worries of both the cities behind the glory of getting the award.

According to “Rumours”, the idea of joint application came out due to Georgetown is too Chinese. Therefore, they suggested Malacca to join in the application to show that this is Malaysia with multiracial culture. Compared to Malacca, Georgetown had done a more complete research on her heritage buildings. Again, due to some politic views, Georgetown had to reduce the paper documentation during the application, so that both cities looks like equally attractive to the world heritage status.

UNESCO only accept the application from the recognized federal government of a country to ensure that the heritage site is fully protected by the government through laws and enforcement. According to “Rumours” again, the reduced paper work done is not that satisfied as something expected by the panel. But still, both cities are entitled the honor for their colourful historic background.

After the 308 election, DAP had won the control of Penang state government. However, the new government still lack of awareness in taking good care of Georgetown heritage building until today. In term of efficiency, they are excellence. They can approve a development project within a month period. But, the problem is the project they approved is somewhere near our glorious city. Besides that, the people involved also lost some precious documentation of heritage buildings during the inter-changing of state government.

According to the study of three Germany students under ASA program, the heritage buildings of Georgetown are not maintained well. There are more than ten thousands of shop house that old enough to be protected as heritage building in the inner city of Georgetown…

I feel sad when I reading the report…

The Thermometer of LOVE

2008-12-23T18:13:00.000+08:00

Not sure whether you are falling in love with someone? Think of the statements below and evaluate how true is the statements.

This article is taken from TIME Megazine (4^th February 2008). Just want to share with friends here:

First, fill in the blanks with his/her name.

Then, evaluate every statement below by rating from 1(Not true at all) to 9(Definitely true).

1. I would feel deep despair if ___ left me.

2. Sometimes I feel I can’t control my thoughts; they are obsessively about ___.

3. I feel happy when I am doing something to make ___ happy.

4. I would rather be with ___ than anyone else.

5. I’d get jealous if I thought ___ were falling in love with someone else.

6. I yearn to know all about ___.

7. I want ___ physically, emotionally, mentally.

8. I have an endless appetite for affection from ___.

9. For me, ___ is the perfect romantic partner.

10. I sense my body responding when ___ touches me.

11. ___ always seems to be on my mind.

12. I want ___ to know me—my thoughts, fears and hopes.

13. I eagerly look for signs indicating ___’s desire for me.

14. I possess a powerful attraction for ___.

15. I get extremely depressed when things don’t go right in my relationship with ___.

Finally, add up your total. Your score can range from a minimum of 15 to a maximum of 135. The higher your score, the more your feelings reflects passionate love; the items for which you picked a particularly high number indicate the components of passionate love you experience most.

Moving in...

2008-12-23T18:06:00.000+08:00

Hey friends, welcome to my new blog...

To those who support my previous blog at frienster, thank you for your continue support. And sorry for inconvenient.

Hope you enjoy reading my blog.