All The Small Things

"Epic"

2011-03-07T22:51:00.000-08:00

You know what really brings my piss to a boil? Hearing people throw around the word "epic", especially when it involves something unimportant. You know what makes it worse? When Maddox writes an article about it (months ago, I might add) that would be infinitely better than mine could ever wish to be.

Read it here: http://thebestpageintheuniverse.net/c.cgi?u=epic

Bluetooth headsets

2011-03-05T13:12:00.000-08:00

Every time I see someone walk around town with a bluetooth earpiece attached to their domepiece, I always get the impression that they're holding their phone up against their faces. The kind of impression that says, "Hey! Look at me! I'm so important that I have to look like I'm always on the phone because I'm expecting a call at any possible second of the day!"

I'll let you guys in on a little secret...

Aside from the fact that I've never encountered anybody who has a remotely important job that wears a bluetooth, you look like a colossal asswipe!

The other day I saw some guy standing in line at a McDonald's (don't judge, we all like to punish ourselves in one way or another) with a bluetooth in. What's the big deal, you ask? Not only was this guy rocking a wicked mullet and poorly cut sleeveless shirt, but he looked like he was on the VIP list in McDonald land. Oh, and the shirt looked like it hadn't been washed since '92.

Now, mind you, this is one of many instances I've seen this happen. You've probably had similar experiences, and it's getting to the point where it's almost a disease. I'll go ahead and call it "headuptheassitis".

You might think I'm a bad person for assuming that this guy does nothing of value, in which case I'd like to ask you: "Would your take on this situation been any different?" Of course not, because deep down, we're all judgemental

Since I know you're all just as bad as me, tell me your feelings on the awful invention of bluetooth pieces.

Sidewalks, people... Use them!

2011-03-04T16:27:00.000-08:00

What did ~~we all~~ most of us learn as kids?

"Don't walk in the street, you'll get hit by a car."

That being said, why is there an influx of people who do their morning walk/jog/run regimes NEXT to the sidewalk? (Inferring, of course, that they're walking in the street.) Why? Is it really that much of an inconvenience to step off of a curb when you get to the end of the block? I just don't understand... I sure as hell don't want to be caught playing a game of chicken with a car going 40mph.

I wonder how that would play out in court?

"Well, Judge, I was hit by a car on my morning walk."
"That's unfortunate, how did it happen?"
"I was just walking in the street, then out of nowhere this car came and struck me down."
"Why were you walking in the street, and not on the sidewalk where pedestrians belong?"
"I-"
"No, next time you stay on the sidewalk and hope that you don't ever let me catch you walking in the street. Case dismissed."

If there's anybody out there who does this, please educate me on this matter, 'cause I'd seriously like to see what the thought process is behind this.