tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14493204Wed, 20 Nov 2024 10:06:27 +0000A blog focusing on the path to wisdom (chokmah). The first unbounded flash of an idea before it takes on limitations, /first revelation and creation from nothingnesshttp://slurmfactory.blogspot.com/noreply@blogger.com (AnnaB)Blogger1128125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14493204.post-1233674788837331580Sun, 04 Sep 2022 20:06:00 +00002022-09-04T16:06:47.373-04:00 Content Warning for Mental Health and SuicideSeptember is mental health aware month. I have lived with my roommate for seven years we are basically family.  From job loss, car accident, pet deaths, parent death, a pandemic and attempted coup, that tends to bind people close. Also we are both middle aged big nerds who love bad puns. We are both born in November too. This all came http://slurmfactory.blogspot.com/2022/09/trigger-warning.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (AnnaB)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14493204.post-671081742937282274Sun, 10 Jul 2022 18:19:00 +00002022-07-10T14:19:43.459-04:00Last month my mother, brother and I drove to PEI and stayed for a week at a beach house (pink star). Our family used to vacation on the island when I was a teenager.  I got to live out my Anne of Green Gables dreams and discover the Emily of New Moon series.  My mom's family was originally from the island.  It's neat going to a place where a good part of the population looks like http://slurmfactory.blogspot.com/2022/07/vacation.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (AnnaB)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14493204.post-7650660753785519563Tue, 26 Apr 2022 05:02:00 +00002022-04-26T01:02:34.628-04:00 Fall 2021 I had my annual mammogram at Tufts. The tech just pushed the go button on the hydraulic press with no adjustments. It was very rushed and I didn’t know what to do.I started crying on my way home. My entire chest was black and blue for weeks. I needed to ice the area and only wear sports bras. I looked like I had been in a massive car accident.Around the holidays I noticed a lump http://slurmfactory.blogspot.com/2022/04/dont-have-mammogram-at-tufts-medical.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (AnnaB)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14493204.post-2857538181421445565Sun, 22 Aug 2021 21:20:00 +00002021-08-22T17:21:47.448-04:00 I was vaccinated with Pfizer Jan 11 and Feb 1 2021. Those vaccinations were pretty uneventful.  Just a sore arm and tiredness afterwards.Last weekend I traveled to Hampton Beach to actually get away and enjoy beach life. I don't think I contracted COVID from Hampton Beach but the no mask atmosphere got me lulled into a false sense of security.  On the drive home I used a restroom http://slurmfactory.blogspot.com/2021/08/i-have-breakthrough-covid.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (AnnaB)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14493204.post-8180859189645837982Wed, 30 Dec 2020 23:28:00 +00002020-12-30T18:28:08.964-05:00 Welp, here we are Dec 2020. Out of control COVID infections throughout the country. MA ICUs at 80 to 100% capacity depending on area. Baker not rolling back anything. So, my July opinion of him is GONE. I know, I know there isn’t any good move to make everyone happy. Another shutdown will crater the economy. But trusting citizen’s common sense isn’t working. In October, I went to one socialhttp://slurmfactory.blogspot.com/2020/12/deuxieme-vague.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (AnnaB)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14493204.post-2506660180582603193Thu, 09 Jul 2020 06:18:00 +00002020-07-09T02:23:53.221-04:00Thank God I live in Massachusetts! As of now, I am really happy how our governor handled COVID shut-downs.  We are one of the few states with declining infection rates.  I did take advantage of some of the phased openings. Eating outdoors at a restaurant feels amazing. You have to give a contact name and number.  The server wears a mask and you have directions to the restroom with http://slurmfactory.blogspot.com/2020/07/july-check-in.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (AnnaB)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14493204.post-8542802613652003876Wed, 22 Apr 2020 21:29:00 +00002020-04-22T17:33:53.147-04:00Here are some laughs that help:   http://slurmfactory.blogspot.com/2020/04/corona-laughs.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (AnnaB)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14493204.post-3725155102178864294Wed, 25 Mar 2020 01:58:00 +00002020-03-24T21:59:08.800-04:00This is my second week working from home. It has highlighted that I need to upgrade my desk with a monitor eventually. Right now, I am hunching over my work laptop. At least I have a fantastic office chair! It is over twenty years old - something I bought after lumbar disc removal. That gives you a clue on the great back support. I also love the chair because every single cat of mine has perchedhttp://slurmfactory.blogspot.com/2020/03/anxiety-during-pandemic.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (AnnaB)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14493204.post-9089673676575616510Fri, 13 Mar 2020 17:41:00 +00002020-03-13T13:45:23.581-04:00The last couple of months, I have had experiences with drivers of Lyft and Uber where I wonder what is going on. Example 1 - from my stroke I have problems with feeling and dexterity on my left side. Buckling a seatbelt on the passenger side is difficult for me. I usually ask the driver if it's okay for me to sit behind them. Usually, they are cool. Or you get a driver like I did a couple weekshttp://slurmfactory.blogspot.com/2020/03/rideshare-hit-or-miss.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (AnnaB)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14493204.post-8889212594030664507Sat, 29 Feb 2020 05:18:00 +00002020-02-29T14:18:50.653-05:00January 2010, I caught swine flu at age 33. I was living alone. It started with bad stomach upset which lead to a horrible cough. I got a same day appointment, a swab of my nose, and it was confirmed. There was nothing the doctor could prescribe but I got a list of symptoms to keep an eye out for. I called my work and the protocol is that I needed to be symptom free for a week before I could http://slurmfactory.blogspot.com/2020/02/reality-check-and-anxiety-mitigation.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (AnnaB)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14493204.post-8248775238574284120Wed, 11 Dec 2019 22:17:00 +00002020-01-14T12:54:49.883-05:00 I had to get a new computer, I lost my old Sims 3 game progress. But with a new computer I would able to play Sims 4! Oh my goodness, I have been playing the hell out of it! I started with the base game plus Seasons plus Parenthood and toddler stuff pack. That first week was me figuring out how to rotate items and the new build options. I love the drag to make a foundation and the ability to http://slurmfactory.blogspot.com/2019/12/down-sims-4-hole.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (AnnaB)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14493204.post-364762780474987507Thu, 21 Nov 2019 23:22:00 +00002019-11-21T18:22:23.317-05:00It is going to be a low-key bittersweet birthday this year. I'd like to look back on where I was ten years ago. I was working at Beth Israel Deaconess in a newish job and had moved to Quincy October 2009. Rasputin was two years old. I was let go from that job January 2010 and the apartment in Quincy was a complete nightmare. So, through pretty crazy times and putting up with total landlord BS, Ihttp://slurmfactory.blogspot.com/2019/11/turning-43-tomorrow.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (AnnaB)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14493204.post-6841413812491678720Thu, 07 Nov 2019 02:06:00 +00002019-11-06T21:06:39.777-05:00 I didn’t think I could get through this pain of loss back in April.  Now it’s October. I have more good days than bad.My heart still feels like it has been crushed and hung with a heavy weight. On my bad days, I cry myself into a headache. I’m proud that I have been fairly consistent with my work schedule and output with only a few mental health days here and there.The other week, I http://slurmfactory.blogspot.com/2019/11/six-months.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (AnnaB)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14493204.post-6863517066087441989Mon, 21 Oct 2019 15:42:00 +00002019-10-21T11:42:33.811-04:00On Friday October 18 my apartment was burglarized. People and cats are safe. My roommate came home around 6:00 PM and the whole place was tossed. We had computers and jewelry stolen. I've lost family heirlooms given to me by beloved departed family. We didn't have renters insurance, fixed that ASAP. Also, my computers stolen were both apple so they are locked down and reported missing. Glorified http://slurmfactory.blogspot.com/2019/10/is-it-safe.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (AnnaB)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14493204.post-4395933897791343376Mon, 14 Oct 2019 21:24:00 +00002019-10-14T17:24:16.719-04:00Tuesday morning, I had hit snooze a couple of times. As usual, Phil decided to meow up a storm and hop on my torso to wake me up. It is normally quite cute. He starts licking my chin, lips, and nose. If I don’t stir, then I get a play chomp on my nose. But Tuesday was different. That morning when Phil hopped on my torso, I got a huge whiff of feces. I picked him up and turned him around and http://slurmfactory.blogspot.com/2019/10/what-tuesday.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (AnnaB)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14493204.post-264318178881863927Thu, 05 Sep 2019 01:45:00 +00002019-09-04T21:45:48.933-04:00 I took two days before Labor Day weekend off from work. In those two days, I had my new Tempur Pedic mattress delivered, rested, relaxed, and rewatched Avengers: Endgame.  The movie is great and makes a lot more sense on rewatch. There is a lot of emotional baggage for me because it was the first movie I went to after my dad died. I basically sat in the movie theater weeping throughout mosthttp://slurmfactory.blogspot.com/2019/09/really-great-vacation.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (AnnaB)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14493204.post-7465276509056996773Tue, 20 Aug 2019 20:20:00 +00002019-08-20T16:20:00.608-04:00 This has been sitting in drafts for a while... My childhood home's sale was closed today [July 31].  My parents lived together there for forty-four years. My dad lived there longer (with his first wife). It was a center entrance colonial built in the 1920's. The plans are to tear it down in September and build another soulless McMansion. Upside - my mom will have a nice http://slurmfactory.blogspot.com/2019/08/farewell-childhood-home.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (AnnaB)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14493204.post-1525580864350898399Thu, 25 Jul 2019 22:16:00 +00002019-07-26T10:18:29.528-04:00 COMMENTS IN RED  Donald Trump born Jun 14, 1946 10:54 AM Queens, NY Sun in Gemini The sun in Gemini people are fun-loving and ready for action. They love meeting new adventures and doing something different. Positive keywords  for Sun in Gemini: entertaining, magnetic, social, optimistic, charming, and humorous Negative keywords for Sun in Gemini: restless, http://slurmfactory.blogspot.com/2019/07/donald-trumps-birth-chart.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (AnnaB)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14493204.post-9204902711862898205Sun, 14 Jul 2019 17:22:00 +00002019-07-14T13:22:15.461-04:00Tomorrow would have been my father's 87th birthday. Next Saturday is his memorial.  My childhood home will be signed over the end of the month. The plans for the crater where my childhood home will be are posted online. You know how we found out about this?  Some asshole called my mom asking if the house is still for sale. Rather than the developer or realtor - the actual contact infohttp://slurmfactory.blogspot.com/2019/07/july-is-lost-cause.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (AnnaB)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14493204.post-6464234941871678130Sat, 15 Jun 2019 03:37:00 +00002019-06-14T23:37:43.505-04:00Father’s Day is going to be difficult this year. My heart aches with every ad I see. My family has already made plans to spend the day together as proactive step to deal with pain. You know what made me feel a million times better? I looked through Father’s Day cards at CVS. It felt so normal. I immediately was able to rule out the beer, grilling, and sports themed ones. I was able to read the http://slurmfactory.blogspot.com/2019/06/buy-card.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (AnnaB)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14493204.post-313837426230531476Sun, 09 Jun 2019 16:12:00 +00002019-06-11T14:32:25.266-04:00My workplace is coordinating EAP counseling with medical care and since I scored so horrendously on the wellbeing survey, I signed up and it is definitely helping. I'm also seeing my talk therapist. More tools to help me get through a difficult time. EAP sets defined goals and helped me with my seizure situation. I got an appointment with a neurologist at Tufts pretty quickly thanks to them! Thehttp://slurmfactory.blogspot.com/2019/06/a-bit-better.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (AnnaB)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14493204.post-3213589428938350144Fri, 03 May 2019 22:05:00 +00002019-05-03T18:05:07.358-04:00 I haven't been sleeping, eating meals, and I cry every day. The pain isn't constant but I don't have the energy to fight it off. The first of May was the absolute worst day since my dad died. Being a new month without him felt like a body blow. If I'm not sad, I am hounded with why's. Why did we go ahead with a partial hip replacement surgery on an 86 year old diabetic with congestive heart http://slurmfactory.blogspot.com/2019/05/everything-is-awful.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (AnnaB)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14493204.post-3502065388140822639Mon, 22 Apr 2019 20:26:00 +00002019-04-22T16:26:25.503-04:00When he was dying, this helped. Now that I am grieving, this helps. Yesterday I could not stop crying and sleeping. Today I'm just numb.  Here are the songs my family listened to while waiting for the funeral home to collect my father's body: http://slurmfactory.blogspot.com/2019/04/i-miss-my-dad.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (AnnaB)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14493204.post-4588153954178443573Fri, 19 Apr 2019 14:55:00 +00002019-04-19T10:55:24.615-04:00He passed peacefully and painlessly. He had a bad night Tuesday where he could not get warm and his breathing got very rapid.  Mom and I had to call the VNA for what to do. We started him on morphine that night and stopped all other medications.  Tuesday was the last time I spoke to my father. I worked remotely Wednesday at my parent's apartment. Dad started flailing and mumbling http://slurmfactory.blogspot.com/2019/04/my-father-died-april-17-2019.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (AnnaB)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14493204.post-4197396523316848945Fri, 12 Apr 2019 13:50:00 +00002019-04-12T09:50:26.958-04:00He was in a rehab hospital since March 13. The first week he actually was able to do some rehab on his hip then he got a horrible cough and then he stopped eating. Mom sent my brother and I a message last Thursday that dad's health was in permanent decline. Both of us rushed out to the hospital. My dad was hallucinating and looked like the Night King. Friday morning amidst tears, we discussed http://slurmfactory.blogspot.com/2019/04/my-father-is-dying.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (AnnaB)0