Virginia and Charlie

Intro to Lettering In-Home Class

2017-04-07T10:00:00.000-04:00

For the past few weeks, I've been working on something new and exciting! It's an introduction to lettering class and I'm super excited about it!

This in-home class is for 4-10 people interested in learning the basic techniques of brush and pen lettering. Each class will be 90 minutes. During that time, we’ll go over how to hold the brush and pen, basic strokes, letter forms, and lettering with watercolors. We will also work on creating a final brush lettering piece based on a template.

I'll share with you the basic tips and tricks I've learned through my hours of practice, research and instagram stalking. Using a brush pen, we'll learn the basic strokes, uppercase and lowercase letters and then practice forming words.

Then we'll do the same with a brush. Along with learning how to hold the brush, we'll review some basic techniques for controlling the watercolors to achieve that perfect ombre 😍

At the end of the class, you will leave with:
— 37pg. packet of practice sheets + pdf download
— brush pen
— #1 round brush
— pencil
— final watercolor piece, "home sweet home"

You guessed it, this is another adoption fundraiser! All of the proceeds will go right to the adoption fund. With every party, I get closer and closer to bringing my baby home.

Pricing:
4 people: $40 per person
6 people: $35 per person
8 people or more: $30 per person

If you are interested in hosting a class, email me at virginiasaint@gmail.com and we'll get it on the calendar! If you have my cell, feel free to text or call. I can do weeknights or weekends - whatever works for you.

If you aren't sure where I live - email me! I don't really want to publish that online 😉 but I'll give you a hint - I'm in southeastern PA.

For those of you that are far away and wondering...
At this time, the packet is not available online. I want to test it on a few guinea pigs before putting it online. I need to make sure it makes sense since I won't be there to walk you through it. I'll be able to do that best when I have some fresh eyes on it. An online version is in the works, so keep your eyes peeled!

Thank you for your continual and unwavering support for this adoption.

I can't even begin to tell you how much it means to me ❤️

Balla Family Adoption Fundraiser

2017-04-03T21:11:00.000-04:00

Hello!

I will be holding family photo sessions as an adoption fundraiser to benefit my dear friend, Tara, and her husband, Brent. The photo sessions will take place on May 13th at Hibernia Park in Coatesville. These sessions are a wonderful opportunity to update the family portrait for a perfect Mother's Day present. It can be the whole family or just the kids. It's all up to you!

Here's what you need to know:

First and foremost, all of the money raised through these family photo sessions will be going right to Tara & Brent for their adoption fund.

The cost for each session is $125 and you will receive as many high resolution, edited digital photos as we can get! Each photo will be edited in color and black & white. Images will be sent out within 1 week of the photoshoot.

All sessions will take place in the same location - a beautiful park in Coatesville, PA. The perfect backdrop for this spring season! Feel free to bring props!

1 hour time slots are available from 9am-4pm.
Rain date is May 20th.

To secure your time slot and coordinate payment, email Tara at tara.balla@yahoo.com.

We hope to see you there!

Below are some examples of family sessions I've done in the past:

Trade of Hope Fundraiser

2017-03-16T06:00:00.000-04:00

On March 20th, a woman from my church is hosting a Trades of Hope party to benefit my adoption.

Beth-Anne, from Trades of Hope, will be selling jewelry, handbags, scarves & more that are ethically produced & created using Fair Trade principles by women around the world. Their mission is to empower women in poverty by marketing their creations.

Beth-Anne is generously donating all of the proceeds to my adoption fund.

We’d love for you to join us at the Bicentennial in West Reading at 7pm. Everything is better with food, so there will be snacks!

If you cannot join us, but wish to contribute – visit the website below to view the beautiful items & place orders.

https://www.mytradesofhope.com/parties/53720

Thank you for the continual support for this adoption! ❤️️

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Adoption Update: December 2016

2016-12-28T08:00:00.000-05:00

It's hard to believe that 2016 is almost over. This year has been crazy for many good and many hard reasons, but it's been the best year of my life. New Year's Eve doesn't usually hold a lot of interest for me. I celebrate by laying in bed with Charlie and watching tv (the same thing I do every night). I kiss my pup at midnight and then we go to bed.

But this year is different. I may celebrate in the same, simple way, but there will be something different about this New Year's Eve. 2016 was an amazing year and I never want to forget a single moment, but 2017 could be the year I bring my baby home. There's no guarantee. There's no sure way of knowing, but there's hope - so much hope.

I haven't given an update in awhile - so allow me to catch you up (spoiler alert - I am still waiting):

The nursery is ready (minus that window that I still need to paint). Little bits of nesting continue to happen, but there's not much to be done now. Everything that's left can and will wait until I'm matched and bringing a baby home.

Early in the adoption process, I read a lot of blog posts of women telling how important the nursery was for them in the long months of waiting. A few months ago, I thought that it would just be harder to have it ready while waiting, but this room has been very good for me. Sometimes I just sit on that ottoman and pray or I stand in the doorway and imagine the day that I get to really use this room.

I hope that this wait will make the less pretty days a little easier - when this room full of dirty laundry, smelly diapers, a crying baby... when I'm wishing God didn't ask me to do this alone. I hope on those days I can clearly remember how it feels to stand in the doorway praying for this baby all the while knowing with absolute certainty that I am following God's plan for my life.

Fundraising was a tough job for me to step into. I'm in no way gifted in this area, but I've seen time and time again how God provides when we step out in faith. In four short months, you all have helped me raise 41% of my goal and that just blows me away. The generosity and love that has poured out from my family, friends and community is an incredible gift. I've still got a ways to go, but I couldn't be more thankful for how far I've come in this fundraising process.

Waiting is still something I am trying to understand. I've officially been waiting for 3 months and it seems each new month brings new challenges. Month One was about getting used to waiting and learning how to handle all of the emotions that come with this process (that was an exhausting month). Month Two was all about being ready, feeling ready, feeling like it needed to happen right now and I couldn't wait a minute longer (another stellar month).

But Month Three was the hardest so far. It was all sinking in that this process could take years - that I might have to stop counting in months and start counting in years. But in a small way, I feel like I get it now - I know how to handle this new normal. This month had some really deep valleys for me that were hard to come out of. Valleys that I couldn't make better, but I just had to survive. I've learned that while that is not fun, it's not bad either. Not every hard thing needs fixing, sometimes you just survive and that's good enough.

This will come as no surprise, but I'm going to say it anyway - waiting is hard, waiting sucks, waiting is exhausting. But as much as I don't want to admit it, waiting is necessary. I wish I could fully explain why it's necessary, but I'm not sure how. I just know that it's been necessary for me. I've been fighting battles over the past 3 months that I've needed to fight to build my strength and faith.

I've needed to submit my profile and not get picked so I could learned to love a child and mother that I have never and will never meet - and to learn that it's ok to give your love and not have it returned. It's taught me to pray and love deeply, no matter how hard it is when I'm not chosen. I've learned that I can't truly open myself up to love if I can't open myself up to pain.

But as always - in the midst of everything hard, there is God. Even when I've been more than frustrated with him, praying whiny prayers and feeling so lost, He's showing me that not only is he making this path - He is walking it with me.

I bought that little penguin a few weeks ago. It's the baby's very first Christmas present. They may not exist in this world yet, but they are so very real in my heart.

New Christmas Prints - Adoption Fundraiser

2016-11-27T15:03:00.000-05:00

The Christmas season has always been my favorite. I love having my home decorated for this special time of year. It may take me several slow days to put all of the decorations up, but in the end it's always worth it (which I need to remember when cleaning it all up takes forever).

I added several Christmas prints to my etsy shop. I loved working on these. They were so fun to design and create. Plus, they definitely got me into the Christmas spirit!

As always - every penny goes to the adoption fund ❤️

Christmas Mini Photo Sessions

2016-11-09T08:00:00.000-05:00

This is a little last minute, but here goes nothing –

I will be holding mini photography sessions on November 19th at Collmann Christmas Tree Farm in Elverson. These mini sessions are the perfect opportunity to get those much needed photos for the Christmas card you promised yourself you'd actually send out this year. It can be the whole family or just the kids. It's all your call!

Here's what you need to know:

First and foremost, all the money raised through these mini sessions will be going right to the adoption fund.

The cost for each session is $125 and you will receive 6-8 high resolution edited digital photos in color and black & white (so 12-16 total). Images will be sent out within 4 days of the photoshoot. Sessions will last 20 minutes, so please only sign up if your kiddos warm up to the camera quickly. ;)

All sessions will take place in the same location - a beautiful tree farm. The perfect backdrop for the holiday season! Feel free to bring props!

November 19 timeslots (rain date is Nov. 26):
9:30 – 9:50
10:00 – 10:20
11:00 – 11:20 reserved
11:30 – 11:50
12:00 – 12:20 reserved

If you're interested and this date doesn't work for you, let me know! If there's enough interest I'll open up another date in November.

To secure your timeslot, email me at virginiasaint@gmail.com. Payment is due before the session.

I hope to see you there!

Below are some examples of family sessions I've done in the past.

The Crib

2016-10-30T08:00:00.000-04:00

This little room is full to the brim with of leaps of faith. Every leap is part of claiming and living what God has called me to. Most of those leaps were very hard for me. I've been mentioning for months how I wasn't quite ready to buy the crib. I think that's something that is hard to truly understand unless you are in the midst of adoption or have gone through it yourself.

Buying a crib is not about need or necessity. It's not about whether the baby needs it yet or not. It's not about being ready for the baby to come home. It's about me being ready. It's about taking a risky, emotional leap of faith because that is what God is asking of me.

Think about this way - when do most pregnant women prepare a nursery? It's usually ready just weeks before the baby is born. I'm taking that step now - months or years before I have a baby.

I could wait. I could wait until I'm matched or until things are certain. But I've learned that certainty doesn't exist in adoption. I've yet to find certainty anywhere in this process. But there is one thing I'm certain of - God has called me to this.

So yes, I could wait. But why wait when I can run toward this promise? I am running toward this beautiful gift that God has promised me. And I will keep running and leaping until my baby is in my arms.

The week that I joined the matching network was a very hard week for me in more ways that I can explain. I was filled with fear and doubt. I was questioning things I hadn't questioned in months. But God gave me an incredible gift that week.

That was the week that I was finally ready to buy the crib. It might not seem like a big deal, but for me it was this incredible milestone of faith. In the midst of feeling more than overwhelmed, I felt God's peace and certainty. I was finally ready.

So Charlotte, Cameron, Hannah and I took a trip to Ikea. The kids each picked out something special for the baby. Cam picked out those little cars because he had the same ones when he was a baby. Hannah picked out something soft for the baby to sleep with. She said "If I'm not there to cuddle the baby, the panda can do it for me." That trip will forever be special to me.

Getting here took a lot of work and tears and faith, but it feels so good to be here. Ya know what the funny part is? I bought the crib a week ago and I've been sick all week. More sick that I've been in a really long time. So sick, in fact, that I haven't had the energy or strength to actually put the crib together.

So the crib, along with the changing table, are still in the boxes laying on the floor. And it is killing me. It took me 9 months to be ready and now I'm sick? I'm just counting down the days until I can put them together and finally see them in place.

Sometimes, I stand in the doorway and look at the lights from the disco ball and imagine what this room will look like when it's finished. I stand in the doorway looking at those boxes and the promise they represent – and it makes my heart so full.

Feeling Delayed

2016-10-02T17:53:00.000-04:00

The next step in this adoption process is joining the agency's matching network. This is when I'll officially be "waiting." This time of joining the network is what I've been working toward for months.

My profile books are ready and printed. The quality is wonderful. Phew! They arrived just few days before my family left for a trip to the beach. The books are the last thing I needed before joining. I knew I wouldn't be able to join the network while I was at the beach. And I knew trying to join the day before we left wouldn't work either.

So basically, I knew going into this past week that this was going to be a time to rest and refresh. I can't move forward yet, so I needed to just enjoy the slow time. And I did that - I read a book, did a lot of pinteresting and blog reading, spent a lot of time with the kiddos and my family. I did it. I relaxed. But at the same time - relaxing felt like work.

I don't know if I've ever felt more conflicted. I'm so anxious to be in the network and see situations, but at the same time I'm not at all feeling ready to start this process. But I want to badly so be matched and I feel like I've wasted the last 2 weeks. But really, what's 2 weeks in the grand scheme of things? But two weeks feels like forever when it's taken months to get here. But this is all in God's timing. But waiting is going to be so hard and the sooner I'm in the sooner I can get matched. But it could takes months or years, what does a few weeks matter? But these past 2 weeks have left me feeling stuck. But I am also nervous about moving forward. But I'm so ready...

And that's just the tip of the iceberg, folks.

The roller coaster of emotions that have happened during this adoption process is nothing that I could ever have prepared for. And trust me, I tried. I read everything I could get my hands on. I've tried to prepare for every single scenario.

A few weeks ago, I was so blessed to connect with a single adoptive mom who's son is about a year and a half old. She gave me her email and then after a few emails asked if I'd like to talk on the phone. Oh my gosh. Are you kidding me? Of course I want to talk on the phone! I have a bajillion questions.

It was one of those phone conversations that begins with "I don't even know where to start" because there are so many questions. She was amazing and patient and answered all of my questions - even the one's I felt stupid asking. I was so incredibly encouraged by her honesty and openness.

The best piece of advice she gave me? Stop trying to prepare for everything.

Ok, to you that might sound obvious. To me - it was eye opening. She told me to wait until I know my match situation and then prepare for that. Honestly, my mind was blown. I know, I know - it seems totally obvious, but it's really not. Its not obvious when everything is out of my control. Since I was feeling powerless, I tried to control what I thought I could - knowledge. Being prepared for anything and everything became my mission.

But I'm walking away from that. I'm working hard to stop freaking out and to just wait. I'm working to let God have this time and to not steal it away from him by spending my hours worrying.

So even though I'm feeling like things have been delayed and slowed down and that's hard - this beach vacation was everything I needed. I loved reading a good book on the beach. I loved cuddling with Cam and Hannah during movie time and not even looking at my phone (partly because Hannah accidentally kicked it onto the floor). I loved having slow days and slow nights with my family.

After a week of relaxing, I feel ready to take on the next step.... waiting to be matched.

The First Onesie

2016-09-18T16:45:00.001-04:00

This onesie is so very special to me. I bought this simple onesie in celebration after I chose my agency at the end of April. It took months of research (not exaggerating), visits and informational meetings to finally make my choice. I stressed over it. I prayed over it. And then I did more research.

The day I made my choice was the day I attended an informational meeting about domestic adoption. There were several woman running the meeting. Each woman had a different job within the agency and their passion for this process was clear. As they spoke I could tell how much they loved and protected the birth moms, but also how they would advocate for me, the adoptive parent. It was plain to see that they were kind and caring and would do what was best for everyone involved.

One woman even came looking for me after the meeting. She remembered speaking to me on the phone and knew I would be at the meeting. She remembered so much about the conversation we had weeks earlier. I was already sold on the agency after hearing all of the information at the meeting, but that small gesture of being remembered solidified my choice.

In a process this complicated, (along with finances and logistics and everything else to consider) comfort is hugely important. There are many agencies that I could have chosen, but this is where I'm comfortable and I didn't make this choice lightly. I know God brought me to this agency.

Finally making the choice that I had been stressing over for months felt like sweet relief and I wanted to celebrate! So like anybody else - I went to Target.

I strolled the baby aisles looking for something neutral and simple. When I picked this little striped onesie, I held it in my hands before putting it in the cart. I'm not one to be overly sentimental, but as I stood there holding this soft onesie I pictured my baby. I pictured meeting them for the first time and holding them in my arms. And for the first time, it all felt so real that I almost started crying right there in Target.

In a process full of unknowns, purchasing a small onesie was a huge emotional risk for me. Logic starts to tell you that this may never happen and you may have to pack this away unused. Logic says don't get your hopes too high because you might never be picked. Logic says to hold back and be safe. Pardon my french, but screw logic.

This baby is real. This love is real. I'm all in.

And I'm going to keep taking steps to claim this baby and this adoption. Like packing the hospital bag and buying some bottles. There are still some steps that I'm building up to - that feel bigger and harder than the rest. I'm learning to take this one step at a time and know what I'm ready for. But I'm circling the walls of Jericho. I'm moving forward without knowing all of the ways God will provide. I'm leaping.

And someday, I'm going to bring my baby home in this striped onesie that I bought before I even knew them. And I'm going to keep it forever... unless they puke all over it.

Steady Now...

2016-09-03T18:56:00.000-04:00

I am the Lord your peace / No evil will conquer you / Steady now your heart and mind / Come into my rest / And oh, let your faith arise / Lift up your weary head / I am with you / Wherever you go

– Come To Me, Bethel Music

It's only been a week since completing my home study, but boy it's been a weird one. I've taken a lot of time this week to just relax and enjoy this amazing weather. But in those quiet moments, doubt creeps in.

The home study was such a big and overwhelming process that it consumed my thoughts. I had no time to think/worry about anything else. I've worked hard to take this adoption one step at a time so that I don't allow myself to get overwhelmed by it all. I've waited for months to be in this I'm-almost-there place and now that I'm here, I don't love it. It's so easy to allow myself to doubt when I'm not busy and distracted.

I've felt shaky and unsteady in so many ways this past week. Will my profile really show who I am? Is someone really going to pick me? What if I have no lead time and I'm not ready? Should I buy a crib now? Can I handle seeing an empty crib every day with no promise of a baby yet? What if it takes years to get matched? What will I do in the waiting time? How am I going to afford this? Why has this, of all years, been so hard for me financially? How am I going to raise $11,000? Can I manage being a working mom? What if I'm not focused at work and then my performance tanks and I lose my job and I can't pay the bills? I'm still scared of bees - am I even ready to be a mother?

Doubt is just so fun. *dramatically rolls eyes

(Btw - big props to all the mamas out there. I thought I understood motherhood. But now I know that I had zero understanding of the pressure you face and I am humbled by your ability to do it all.)

In the midst of all this doubt, I keep thinking about Peter. About when he saw Jesus walking on water –

“Lord, if it’s you,” Peter replied, “tell me to come to you on the water.” “Come,” he said.

I prayed for God to take me to a place where I could only move forward with His strength and power. Ok. Check. This is definitely that place.

Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus.But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, “Lord, save me!”

This is so me right now. This is where I am. I got out of the boat, I'm on the water and now I'm panicking. I'm having moments of doubt and fear that feel overwhelming and impossible. I'm waiting for Him to save me. So I pray - a lot. And I read my Bible - a lot. And I listen to worship music - a lot. I'm crying out.

Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. “You of little faith,” he said, “why did you doubt?” – Matthew 14: 28-31

God did not bring me all this way to forget me. He is not going to let me sink. He is with me now and He is with me in those moments of doubt. He will reach out. He will provide. He will bring peace.

Therefore, my beloved brothers, be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, knowing that in the Lord your labor is not in vain. – 1 Cor. 15:58

So I pray for the Lord to stop my knees from shaking. To lift my head and bring my focus in. To keep me from wavering to the right or left. To give me the faith to walk on the water with Him. And I pray for trust, patience and hope. And I pray and I pray and I pray.

God has made this path clear and I will continue to move forward through the doubt and the fear. And I'll buy alllllll the cute onesies and shoes I can find. And I'll put the disco ball in the nursery. And I'll plan fundraisers, ask for help and seek guidance. And maybe I'll finally conquer my fear of bees. Because there is a baby that is waiting for me to get it together and I will not let them down.

Steady now...

We Passed!

2016-08-26T22:50:00.000-04:00

On April 30th, I chose my agency. I went to an informational meeting and walked out knowing this was the one.

On May 16th, I had my educational meeting and signed up for the home study. A few days later I received the application and began working toward an approved home study.

Today, August 26th, I completed the last step in this process - the home visit.

It took four long months to get here. For the past four months, I've had a constant to-do list running through my head. What needs to be done, who's doing it, when it's getting done, how it's getting done, how much it will cost, what questions are left on the application, do i have all of the paperwork, did i make all of the appointments... It was a very long and very stressful list.

Four months.

In the grand scheme of things, four months is nothing. I can do anything for four months. Four months in a lifetime is nothing. Four months of work to bring my baby home is nothing. But it's still been a very long and very stressful four months.

The second the wonderful people from the agency left, I shut the door, leaned up against it and the tears started flowing. I actually thought to myself Ok, this is just lame and cheesy. Cut it out!

But I couldn't stop the tears and once I gave in, I didn't want to. All of those months of worrying and stressing were over. I made it. I'm approved, my house is approved - even Charlie is approved. The complete joy in that moment was bigger than I could contain.

Not to mention the sweet relief of being done! No more to-do lists. I still can't fully grasp it. I've had to stop myself several times today from running through the list in my head.

After lunch, I went to bed. I needed a nap badly. I needed to be able to sleep without worrying about what is still left to do. And now it's a to-do list of wants, not needs. Now it's nesting, not necessity.

So, what's next?

Well, now I work on creating a profile and I need to finish it in the next 2 weeks. This profile will be shown to expectant moms and it is how they choose me. No pressure, right?

I know that God has already chosen this child. He knows them by name. I will pray over every sentence and photo that goes into this profile, but I know that no matter what is in it - God will connect me with the right woman and the right baby.

Once my profile is complete, I will join the agency's network. That is when expectant moms will be able to see my profile.

Then I wait.

The wait could be very short, but there's a possibility it could take years. So I'm coming up with a plan. Things to do. Books to read. Places to go. The wait will be hard, but it will be good.

____________ _ _ _

Friends - your love and support means everything to me. I know I keep saying it, but it's very much true. God has used you to encourage me and confirm this path. To see the amount of people that already love and pray for this child has been the most beautiful glimpse of God's love. I can't begin to express how much that love means to me and how grateful I am for it. Thank you!

The Biggest News!

2016-08-09T09:10:00.000-04:00

To be honest, I’m not quite sure where to begin. So much has been happening over the past 8 months. I will attempt to make this as short and sweet as possible – but I’m not making any promises. This has been the most incredible 8 months of my life and I’m really excited to tell you about it.

I’ve known for a long time that I would adopt, but I never thought I would do it alone.

Adoption came into the picture when I was 23. In December 2008, I walked out of my interview at Lincoln Charter School, sat in my car and knew 2 things to be certain – If they offered me the job I would take it and someday I would adopt. I just knew it. There was a peace in my heart that’s unexplainable. I feel that same peace today.

Fast forward to January 2016 – we were singing Oceans, by Hillsong in church a lot. It felt like we were singing it every week. It started as a song, but soon became a heartfelt prayer –

Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders / let me walk upon the waters wherever you would call me / take me deeper than my feet could ever wander / and my faith would be made stronger in the presence of my Savior

I began asking myself How am I living for Christ? What is my leap of faith? I prayed for God to take me out of my comfort zone. To lead me to a place where I can only move forward under His power. A place where I have to live every day relying on His strength and not my own.

At the same time, I was longing and praying to be a mother. More than anything I wanted to feel the love a mother has – to love a child as only a mother can. I wanted to get as close as I could to feeling and understanding the unconditional love Christ has for us.

February 6^th, at the end of IF:Gathering at church, they gave us each a domino. We were asked to write on it something we were ready to give to God. I remember thinking, why a domino? I don’t know if you’ve ever been 30 and single when all of your friends are married and having babies, but it’s not super fun. And I’d been holding onto that disappointment for a long time. But I was ready to give it up, so on my little domino I wrote my singleness and my future. Then I turned to Mel and asked Is singleness a word?

I put that little domino by the mirror in the bathroom and prayed over and over for the continued willingness to give up control of my life. I prayed for the patience and trust to let God run my life instead of trying to run it myself.

Then, like dominos falling, God set off a chain reaction and life started to get very interesting very quickly. Now I see why they gave us a domino. Did they do that on purpose?

February 17, Mel sent me a link to a blog post. A single woman named, Sara, had written about her experience as a foster mom. Mel knew I had been thinking about adoption and she encouraged me to contact Sara – so I did. We began emailing back and forth and Sara gave me amazing advice that would officially begin my adoption journey – All you need is enough courage to say yes. Just go. His peace will follow your obedience.

I had asked God to take me out of my comfort zone. I had asked God to make me a mother. Whether I was married or not, whether I was ready or not, God made one thing clear – get moving.

So I said YES.

After many months of counseling, prayer, family support and research I chose Domestic Infant Adoption, picked an agency and began the legal process to become an adoptive mom.

On May 16, at an educational meeting at my agency, my caseworker gave me the first official paper to sign. This paper was the beginning of my home study. I was SO excited. This is it! I’m really doing this! …And then I forgot how to sign my own name. After months of talking and planning and praying – it was really starting. Like really starting. And I couldn’t remember my own signature. My counselor called that a stress response. Yup, that about sums it up.

The end of May arrived and so did the paperwork. Lots and lots and lots of paperwork and document gathering and doctor appointments and meetings and planning and stressing. Night after night of writing and re-writing my responses to the questions in the home study application. Not to mention all the work my family, friends and I have been putting into this house… and we aren’t even done yet.

The last step in this home study process is happening on August 26 – the home visit. I’ve never been more nervous to have house guests.

In case you noticed something different and are wondering – Yes, this is why I’ve been more forgetful, more stressed, less involved, quieter. Life has been very busy.

But friends, life has never been more exciting.

Don’t mistake excitement for ease, though. This has been hard. I’ve had to face a lot of fears and insecurities and there is still so much unknown. There are so many questions I can’t answer and all I can do is wait to see how God shows up in each circumstance – because I know He will show up.

Here are the details – the type of adoption I am pursuing is called Domestic Infant Adoption. That means I will be matched with a birth mom during pregnancy. I do not care about race or gender. I do not know when I will be matched. I can be matched with anyone in the United States, though I am praying for a local adoption. I would like to have an open adoption and hope to develop a loving relationship with the birth mom.

So there you have it – my adoption journey in a nutshell. Believe it or not, that is the short version. Eight hard and exciting months boiled down to 1,050 words.

This process has been so much work and so much stress, not to mention all the unknowns in my future – but it’s nothing when I think about my baby. It never ceases to amaze me how real this child is to me. I don’t even know if he or she exists yet but this love is so strong, present, hopeful. I don’t know my baby yet, but my Lord knows them by name and I will wait on His perfect timing.

My family of two will soon become a family of three… but don’t tell Charlie.

“And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.” Colossian 3:17

—————————

If you’d like to stay up to date on my journey, check back here! I’ll be posting more to keep you updated on the process. You can also follow along on my Instagram account @ginnersaint. This journey is only just beginning and I’m so excited to share it with you!

April Desktop Wallpapers

2016-04-03T07:00:00.000-04:00

Spring in is full bloom around here and there's new color and life popping up everywhere. Including a the bunnies that made their home in my back yard.

So this month, I used photos from my last trip to the incredible Longwood Gardens. I hope you enjoy these wallpapers.

Click "read more" for download links.

A polite reminder - Wallpapers are free for personal use only. Please be respectful. Do not distribute or sell.

To Download:
– click the link
– click the download icon in the upper right corner.

With calendar

Without calendar

With calendar
Without calendar

With calendar
Without calendar

Enjoy!

Brush Lettering - In Real Time

2016-03-26T16:55:00.000-04:00

Learning brush lettering has been a great adventure. I love exploring different styles and techniques. My primary source of instruction has been instagram - there are so many artists sharing their art through that platform. It's awesome of them to share their skills, techniques and tools. I follow a lot of artists and I learn a lot from those 15 second videos.

But don't even get me started on Instagram's new feed algorithm. The chronological feed is one of the main reasons I love instagram - if they go away from that it's just going to turn into Facebook. And nobody wants that.

Anyway...

I've had a few people ask me how I'm learning hand lettering.

First, practice. Lots and lots of practice (and lots of paper).

Second, I'm a big ol' copy cat. I look at the way others are writing - the size, thickness, variations in the base line and how they write each letter.

Since instagram videos are almost always sped up to fit within the 15 second time limit - hand lettering looks a little easier than it really is. Now, I'm in no way claiming that I know what I'm doing - but below you'll find 2 real time videos. It'll give you a better idea of how slow I write (though I should really go slower) and where I take breaks to move my hand.

I hope you find them helpful!

For those of you looking for some examples of amazing lettering - below is a list of artists that I follow on instagram. They are all incredibly talented.

@throughpaintandpen
@flaxandwooldesigns
@brimpapery
@greentiestudio
@kingblottothethird
@tierneystudio
@winkandwonder
@mattvergotis
@stefankunz
@letteringcamp
@bysarahkim
@lissletters
@jennyhighsmith
@amandaarneill
@iamlynati
@handlettereddesign
@erin_nielson

(And that's the short list)

March Wallpapers

2016-03-06T17:52:00.000-05:00

Late is the new black. You haven't heard that one? Well let's make it a thing, because these wallpapers are coming in a week late.

Oops!

My family and I recently spent a week on Eleuthera - an island in the Bahamas. It was beautiful. My favorite part was getting to experience swimming in clear water for the first time in my life. It was incredible.

I tried out some night time photography for the first time. The photo above was taken at around 10pm at night - if you look closely you can see stars in the sky. It's one of my favorites from the trip.

In this post you'll find 9 desktop wallpapers - without and without the calendar.

Click "read more" for download links.

A polite reminder - Wallpapers are free for personal use only. Please be respectful. Do not distribute or sell.

To Download:
– click the link
– click the download icon in the upper right corner.

With calendar
Without calendar

Always Learning

2016-01-20T06:00:00.000-05:00

There's something about New Years that gets me every time. I could sort of care less about the party and the ball drop and all the sparkly dresses - my New Year's kiss was Charlie - but there's something about the new year that makes me want to start fresh.

I'm really into brush lettering right now. It's all over the internet and I'm loving it. I found a few guides that got me started (like this one) but my real goal is to find my style. And that is proving to be difficult.

Practice usually includes picking out words from the show I'm watching and writing them down. Can you guess what show I was watching? This was early on in my practicing and I actually feel like I've come a long way since then.

It took at least 20 tries to get a "February" that I was happy with. I had to throw out at least half the tries because I spelled it wrong. I've noticed that I'm not the best speller when I'm working on brush lettering. Oh well. One skill at a time. Once I get the letter's down, maybe I'll be able to focus on the words I'm putting together.

I really, really, really like using watercolors and a brush. It is so smooth and I can go back and hide the mistakes.

Plus, the texture of the colors and paper is just awesome. I love the way the color spreads and moves as you write.

The ombre that happens naturally is pretty much the best thing ever. It makes mediocre lettering look deceptively good. And I'm totally fine with that.

I recently bought some brush pens and I'm really excited to try them out, though I don't know if anything can top watercolors.

This is one of those skills that I'm not sure what to do with yet, but I'm sure I'll figure out something. And I haven't found my style yet, but I'm certainly having fun trying.

Have you been learning a new skill in this new year?

Our 2015 Christmas Card

2015-12-23T10:19:00.000-05:00

Whenever I see a beautiful image or video, I'm always interesting in the behind the scenes. I love that what seemingly looks effortless usually comes out of chaos. This is most definitely true of this year's Christmas card.

I spotted some ugly sweaters at Target and knew I had to get one for the photo. The look on her face says it all. This dog hates wearing anything. She hated this sweater so much that she nipped at it when I took it off of her. She wore it for all of 10 minutes, so I don't feel bad. And she got a ton of treats.

She also hates wearing her rain coat. But! She won't go outside in the rain unless she's wearing her coat. Oh my little, over dramatic terrier.

So here's what you don't see -

The camera is only a few inches off the ground. To get it there, I had to put it on my tripod, then put the tripod on it's side, then put it on a low box.

I couldn't find the remote, so I had to use the 10 second timer. I'd get a treat in my hand, push the timer, run over to Charlie, plop her into position and then say "Stay. Stay. Stay. Stay..." until the camera took the photo.

Every time I moved, Charlie moved. With each try I had to reposition her.

After 20 tries, I was sweating like a maniac.

Some photos ended up great. Others ended up like this. The brown on the bottom is from the box I had my camera on. Oops.

I do love this photo, though. It's sort of a fail, but I love it. I love all the curls in her hair. I will admit that I photoshopped out one of her nipples. What is it about nipples that makes them so weird? And it's black so it was super obvious. #awkward

This is another favorite. Maybe it's that I think this little butt is adorable, but I also just like that it is unconventional. I love that this photo is a little weird.

So I used it as my Christmas card. Well, one of them. I couldn't decide on just one photo, so I went with three options. I gave this one to the people that I knew would love how weird it is.

This is card number 2. This one is a little more traditional. Along with many other people, I gave this one to Cameron and Hannah. Charlotte sent me a video of Hannah opening the card. I think she was really thrown off by Charlie in a sweater. She basically didn't recognize Charlie. Once she figured out who was in the photo, she loved it.

This is the last photo I chose. This one is all about the ugly sweater. This is one of the cards I gave to people who I know actually really like Charlie. Like my mom said "I like the one of her butt, but I want to see all of her."

People that meet Charlie tend to really like her. And I've always really appreciated that. It really wonderful when the people that I love and that love me - also love my dog. This pup is a big part of my life and I really appreciate when others take an interest in her.

So with that, I'd like to wish you very Merry Christmas and Happy New Year! I can't wait for 2016 and all the possibilities it holds.

Love,

Ginner & Charlie

December Desktop Wallpaper

2015-12-07T06:00:00.000-05:00

Let's go with "better late than never". Yes, yes - I think that will work. Sorry these are coming a week into December. This holiday season is flying by and I'm just trying to keep up!

So allow me to get to the point with as few words as possible -

In this post you'll find 5 desktop wallpapers - without and without the calendar.

I could overanalyze these puppies and cringe at all the mistakes (like how grainy they are), but when it comes down to it, I really do like these photos. Frost is my favorite and I love seeing it up close. I hope you do, too!

Click "read more" for download links.

a polite reminder - these photos are free for personal use only.

To Download:– click the link– click the download icon in the upper right corner

With calendar
Without calendar

With calendar
Without calendar

Enjoy!

Learning to love my home

2015-12-02T06:00:00.000-05:00

Let's be honest here, folks. This homeowner thing isn't all hearts and rainbows and fresh paint. It can be a real struggle and sometimes it can feel more like a burden than a blessing.

But when it's all said and done, I love this house.

If I'm being really honest - I haven't always been able to say that. Not too long ago I was researching apartments. But under all of the repairs, time, money and stress, I have a home that I love and it's time to remember that. So today I'm going to tell you what I love about this home of mine.

I love the light. The light in this house is one of the main reasons that I bought it. It's a row home, but being on the end, I've got extra windows. Being in my home during daylight is one of my favorite things and even after almost 3 years, that hasn't gotten old - not even a bit.

I love that it's just the right size for me and my pup. Parties here can be tight and I don't have much seating. But when it comes down to it I only need 2 seats - one for me and one for my best pup. The kitchen can feel tight at times, but there's plenty of room for dancing.

I love that all of the walls are full. Everywhere I turn is another photo or piece of art that I love - even in the bathroom. Everywhere I turn there are photos and art that I love. Filling my home with meaningful art has been a joy.

I love the yard. It's tiny and cute and perfect for us. Outdoor movie nights are my new favorite thing and will be happening on the regular next summer.

I love the potential in this house. I'm not quite sure how to explain it, but I feel there's potential in more than just how it looks. I just feel like this house is going to be used for something greater than I can imagine. It's my motivation to be more involved in my church and community. When it's needed, I want to make sure I'm ready to say yes.

I love the lessons I've learned in this house (even though I didn't enjoy the process of learning them). I've learned to be more assertive and responsible.

Maybe it's the time of year. Maybe it's the new Adele album on repeart. Maybe it's just time. Either way, I'm ready to start loving my home again.

Brightening Up the Bathroom

2015-11-11T06:00:00.000-05:00

My bathroom is my favorite room in this little house. I know that sounds a little strange, but allow me to explain...

This room, this semi-clean, mostly-empty room is the only room in my house that is done. It needs no work. It requires no attention. And (knock on wood) nothing has broken yet. It gets some of the best light in the house. It's the most low-stress room in my house. It also happens to be where I spend the majority of my time in the morning.

BloomNation inspired me to create a post showing how I would use flowers in my home. Until they approached me, I hadn't heard of them, so I did some research. They are a flower delivery service that supports local florists through their online market place. I popped my zipcode into the box and a second later had list of arrangements available from a local florist. Very cool!

With the evenings being so long these days, I was looking for a way to brighten up my space. I read a long time ago that flowers in a room can have a positive effect on your mood. I don't know about you, but mornings tend to be the toughest time of day for me. It seems to take me a long time to wake up. So if there's any room that could use a mood-booster, it's this one.

My dear friend came over for brunch on Saturday, so I got flowers for the table. Once we were done, I decided to spread them around. I didn't have any bud vases, so I used bowls from the kitchen.

Kitchen bowls weren't exactly what I wanted, but I'm really trying to stay on top of my budget. It's easy for me to say no to hair cuts, pampering and new clothes, but I find it very difficult to say no to things for my home. I had to control the urge to get on pinterest and look up adorable little glass bud vases.

(Like this one, this one and this one.) Oops.

Owning this home has been a big challenge for me. It's been in a constant state of being worked on for the last year and a half. And not the fun stuff like painting and new kitchen cabinets. The short version - oil tank, water heater, leaky faucets, broken doors. As much as everything is fixable, it's never fixable alone. I can rarely handle it on my own, let alone fix it on my own. It's a real struggle to be independent and completely dependent at the same time.

But maybe that's what this is all about. Maybe I need to learn to let others help me. Maybe this was just what I needed to help me get better at budgeting. Maybe I'm learning patience and trust. Maybe I'll sell this house one day never fully understanding its importance in my life.

I fully believe God has a plan for this little house of mine. I know it even more when I look at these flowers he gave me that, no matter what they are in, brighten my day and my mood.

Until I can see the future, I'm going to live in the present and enjoy each day in my home. I'm going to decorate for Christmas in November and put flowers in my bathroom. Whatever makes the day brighter is a good thing.

It's amazing what a few small petals can do.

How do you use flowers in your home?

November Desktop Wallpapers

2015-10-28T06:00:00.000-04:00

My macro lens has been my favorite since the day I bought it. It's the lens that forced me to learn how to shoot in manual mode. It's also the lens that had me on the edge of tears when I thought it was broken. Every session with my macro lens teaches me something new and I love the way it challenges me to see things differently.

I may or may not have an unusual attachment to my macro lens. Let's not talk about it.

These photos are inspired by last week's DIY notebooks. I took a close up of the stitches on the notebook and new immediately that I wanted to use that same shot for desktop wallpapers. The big block of stitches just looked so good. There is so much texture and depth in those little stitches.

Each wallpaper is sized for widescreen and you have the option to download with and without the calendar.

Click "read more" for download links.

a polite reminder - these photos are free for personal use only.

To Download:
– click the link
– click the download icon in the upper right corner

With calendar
Without calendar

With calendar
Without calendar

Enjoy!

DIY Notebooks

2015-10-21T06:00:00.000-04:00

Work has been crazy for the past month. All of my energy has gone to some big presentations which is why I haven't posted here the past 2 weeks. Welp, the presentations are over and I finally feel like I can relax (aka: empty out my Hulu queue).

PS. If you aren't watching Quantico and Blindspot - you should be! So good!!

Ok, back to why we've all gathered here today. I bought these notebooks with the intention of DIYing them a little. I had no idea how, but sometimes the blank canvas itself is inspiring.

I've been writing down ideas for the past few weeks, but finally settled on adding some cross stitch detail.

And just incase you think cross stitch is so blah - Did you see that LC also does cross stitch? I've loved her ever since she was on Laguna Beach (when we all thought "that's so donzo" was cool to say). The girl's got taste and I'm definitely feeling much more on trend these days.

There were actually 3 notebooks in the pack, but I knew going into this that I would lose one to a project fail. I opened the notebook and laid it flat onto the cutting mat so the Silhouette blade could cut the cover without damaging the rest of the book. But I didn't take into account that the rolling bar would hit the spine if my design got too close to the edge. I ended up with one notebook that I had to chuck. Oops!

I'm in no way a girly-girl. I'm not into pink and hearts and glitter, but for some reason I put a heart into every cross stitch project that I do. It's a mystery. But I guess the reason doesn't matter if the result is nice, right? Maybe I'm a girly-girl at heart. (See what I did there?)

For these designs, I used all 6 strands of floss. Typically, I only use 3 or 4, but I really wanted these designs to look full. I also wanted the center holes to disappear. There's nothing I can do about the edges, but it's nice when the holes in the center of the design aren't visible.

This design probably looks a little strange to you. It's actually initials. Do you see it now? E. S. They are my sister's initials. She also inspired the colors. She loves purple and orange - together and individually - so I gave her a little of both.

The first design was simple and small, so I wanted something big and chunky for the second notebook. I stumbled across this cross stitch alphabet inspired by this quilt pattern. I love that it's abstract.

Stitches upon stitches upon stitches. I just love it.

I think I need to join C. S. Anonymous. I'm only a few steps away from cross stitching everything I own! Watch out, Charlie!

Have you tried cross stitch yet?

Hannah's Birthday

2015-10-01T06:00:00.000-04:00

We celebrated a very special birthday recently.

Our little princess is getting bigger every day and it's so much fun to watch... and photograph. I was kicking myself for not setting aside time for a project, but I realized that these photos are my creative project.

Kids are hard to photograph, especially when they know you so well. They don't stop moving to pose or say cheese, they just live and move and play. For example, they might put 2 party hats on their head, come over to show you, stand still for 1 second and then walk away. They've taught me to react quickly.

I'm constantly changing settings on the camera and moving myself when I shoot these kiddos. Sometimes I ask them to look at the camera. 80% of the time, they won't. They've gotten too used to me asking for that.

Most of the time, I try to capture what is happening and what they are doing without them noticing me. Like this shot of Esther and Hannah playing.

And this shot of Hannah hugging her new dress.

Each time I go through the day's photos, I learn something about how I shoot and what I like to shoot. It's such a fun experience.

If you haven't tried photography, I highly suggest it. It's much easier to pick up than you might think and it's incredibly rewarding.

DIY Clock

2015-09-23T06:00:00.000-04:00

For my 30th birthday (yikes!) my BFF, Kristin, got me a DIY clock kit from Bri + Co. It was so perfect. She gave it to me right when I started up the blog again. It's amazing how your friends can know you so well. Right when I'm looking for creative projects, she gives me a clock kit.

It took me quite a few weeks to figure out what I wanted to do with it. After some pinterest searching and a few failed mock ups, I finally found my inspiration -

[please pin from original source]

(1) This wall at the Ban.do office designed by Emily Henderson. She also used stripes similar to this on the floor of the Oh Joy studio. They look amazing and I'm obsessed with them. If I was in anyway a risk taker in my home, I would have a wall like this.

(2) This fabric from Joann Fabrics stopped me in my tracks - along with every other fabric by Nate Berkus. I was surprised that I could love upholstery fabrics so much, but when I saw the designer it all made sense.

If I ever become a millionaire, I'm going to have Nate Berkus design my entire house. The man is a genius. I stalk his stuff at Target. Seriously stalk it. I want all of it.

Ok, back to the clock.

Illustrator has become a favorite tool for my DIY projects. Being able to see the outcome of a project before starting is really helpful. I was able to size my stripes, layout them out and see the outcome before cutting any vinyl for the stencil.

Painters tape comes in 1" or 1/4", but of course I wanted my stripes to be 3/8". Because I'm a middle child and we don't make anything easy (just ask my family).

So instead of cutting painters tape by hand and most likely having crooked lines, I cut strips out of black vinyl using my silhouette Cameo. One direction at a time, I placed all the strips onto the clock face and just eyeballed the width of each stripe. The control freak in me was blown away by my lack of measuring. Thankfully it turned out pretty good and no mistakes are staring me in the face.

I was really impressed that the paint didn't bleed under the vinyl. I'm a big fan of clean, crisp lines.

The outcome was exactly what I wanted and so perfect.

You might be wondering why there are no numbers. Let's be honest, who needs a clock anymore? With my phone always by my side and a computer in the room, I'm never looking at the clock. So I skipped the functional and went straight to beautiful.

It was such a fun project and I really enjoyed the challenge of figuring out the pattern.

Thanks again for the kit, Kristin!

Handmade Cards with Watercolors

2015-09-16T06:00:00.000-04:00

This spot in my house is one of my favorites. It's basically the only place that I actually keep clean and clutter free. It probably looks cluttered, but everything here has a purpose and gets used often. I have another work space in my craft room, but I always end up sitting at my desk.

This desk has been through a lot and it's held up really well. It's a little warped, so if you put a pencil down it will definitely roll away, but it's a great workspace. It's big and bright and white. This space always gets my creativity going.

Countless hours were spent on Pinterest this week, but zero good ideas were had. I was stumped. How did I ever keep this blog going 5 days a week? Finally, I gave up on Pinterest, went into my craft room, put on some T. Swift and started brainstorming.

ps. How good is her 1989 album? I finally gave in and bought it. I'm loving it. Don't judge me.

Inspiration finally struck - hand lettered cards using watercolors. Have you watched this short video about Jake Weidmann, Master Penman? This man is incredibly talented. Listening to him talk about penmanship had me wanting to write lots of letters.

Everything was ready to go. Supplies, check. Water, check. Online tutorial, check. Then I remembered one important detail - oh right, I can't hand letter.

But color is inspiring, so I didn't give up.

You've probably noticed a trend around here lately - cross stitch. The color and texture of cross stitch keeps me coming back for more. This week, there's a slight twist. Cue plot-twist music.

While I may not have the skill to create hand lettered art, I certainly can make a bunch of little x's. A quick pinterest search led me to a lot of great options for cross stitch letters - some detailed and some very simple.

I'm always drawn to detail, so that's where I started. It's not perfect, but I think that makes it a little sweeter. I love when you can see the hand-made touch. There's something lovely about imperfection.

I also tried smaller, less detailed designs. I used watercolor paper for these cards and cut them down to 5x7". Watercolor paper really is beautiful (even the cheap stuff that I used). The texture and weight of the paper is so nice.

The only measuring I did before painting was to find the middle of the card. I put a very small and light pencil mark where the center X should be. Then it was just a matter of following the pattern.

The envelopes were made using this card maker that I got on super sale at Michael's. I don't typically make my own envelopes, but I wanted envelopes for this post and these were free and fast.

I tried lining the edges with washi tape, but it ended up looking messy. Plus, it seemed a little too busy, but then maybe I just like plain brown envelopes.

I also made some smaller cards since I already had envelopes for those. The possibilities are endless and you don't have to be an artist to do this. You could even use a kids set of watercolors.

When I was doing my pre-project research I saw this post about letting the color cakes soak in hot water before using them. It made such a difference! The colors were richer and deeper, which made this project just that much more fun.

A few months ago, I saw a quote from Kid President that said "Be somebody who makes everybody feel like a somebody." That really struck a chord with me. I plan to send out all of the cards that I made and hopefully I'll make a few people feel like a somebody.