Yang.

2011-12-30T21:27:00.001+08:00

So apparently, I'm emotionally unstable, and my family is dysfunctional.

I'm moving on.

Life is a rubberband ball, tangled, interconnected, screwed up.

2011-12-26T03:30:00.000+08:00

This is shit.

Pure and utter shit.

I don't want to do this anymore. I'm way too nice to everyone.

Its funny though, No-one even bothers about me.

You know, when you're stuck in a situation like this, all you want is someone to be there for you.

i have none.

Every week, i hope, and pray for someone to not only say "Oh, you walk from the train station?"

and actually say "Hey, Do you want a ride? its an awfully long journey."

Thanks Josh, Matt, Teacher Michael, David Swee, and Steph for actually bothering to ask me on the odd occasion

I've been all up thinking about how much my life sucks, and how much it sucks that a certain girl wont leave my mind be.

its like she's using me, because she's only there when it counts.

All i do is offer people things that i can't afford.

make people smile,

let people step on my head,

allow being pushed around,

just accepting peoples behavior.

But maybe i should shout back at everyone,

Maybe i should look her in the eyes, and tell her things she needs to know while being a douchebag

maybe i should spill my blood in-front of everyone for them to understand.

sometimes, i wonder if she's actually into me.
cause the way she treats me, sucks.

i miss the old her.
i miss the old us.

thank you for ruining us, mothers.

Another post explaining how much my life sucks.

Screw these fake smiles, and stupid lies.

Why can't my life be normal.

why can't i be normal.

why can't i have been raised in malaysia.

why do i have this stupid accent that everyone hates.

why do i have to be such an idiot for hoping for the impossible.

why can't i cry, and it be okay?

why can't i scream, without people staring.

why can't i just be normal.

Okay then.

10 reasons why no-one likes to date me.

1) I'm far from "hansome"
2) I do not train for sports, so you will not be able to "cheer me on"
3) I excel in girly things such as
4) sewing
5) cooking
6) musical instruments.
8) arts
9) I'm an actor
10) i'm into serious relationships.

a few reasons why you should.
1) I'm myself.
2) I'm protective
3) I know how to use a map.
4) I will make you look "hotter" due to my lack there-of (subjective hottness.)

i should go out more.

2011-12-26T03:09:00.002+08:00

You know what hurts more than losing someone you truly love?

Knowing that she and your best friend are keeping secrets from you.

if only my heart could take much more.

2011-12-09T19:07:00.001+08:00

I guess thats it then,

So I looked through your chatlogs again.

You and my best friend. of all people i trusted.

Thanks again.

Cause you'll always be my baby.

2011-12-07T23:51:00.001+08:00

Lets hope you read this.

2011-12-05T00:20:00.001+08:00

Hey there.

Maybe this is just another note?

well, truth is i miss you like crazy, and theres not a day that goes by without me thinking about you.

the way you smile at me when i tell you a joke, or that re-assuring face when i'm worried about something

I really don't know what you're going through. i wish i did.

i wish we could text for hours on end like we used to, just texting about everything.

i miss talking to you, like a best friend, like someone i could spend my life with

i miss just having the freedom to talk, side by side.

i miss us.

the old us.

not the us, now.

this us sucks. we barely talk.

we need to talk so much more than we are now.

Anyway, maybe its true. you were way out of my league.

Maybe?

2011-12-03T16:06:00.001+08:00

Sometimes i wonder if i should just let you go, you know, for all the stuff you've done.

but then i think of all the times we had, and the future we could have.

and i'd rather stay with you.

Trying to stay occupied.

2011-12-02T17:54:00.001+08:00

Usually, i'll play a game or something, you know, something to take my mind off things, but this time, i feel really bummed out, i feel as if someone is leading me to the slaughter house.

Other than that, my wound is healing, i ran out of antibiotics, my stitches should be out on saturday, and i need a friend at this current time. i feel very lonely and bored, and all attempts to get someone to come over are failing :(

Trust?

2011-12-01T14:57:00.001+08:00

Why do we trust people?

Because we feel they are worthy of being believed.
because we feel that they will tell the truth
because we feel as if their words have volume to them
because we believe that person.

What if we trusted someone, but they lied.

They promised you something, but behind you, they did the opposite?

Its been 2 months since you promised me something.

should I say something?

or should i just let people run me over like the coward i am?

2011-12-01T14:50:00.001+08:00

I feel so betrayed.

when you say something, at least mean it.

all i wanted was for someone to be there for me.

2011-10-16T00:51:00.000+08:00

Everything happens for a reason. Lets not muddle ourselves up in this. Until the very end?

you're a pain in the arse.

but you're MY pain in the arse.

and i love you for it.

2011-10-11T22:22:00.001+08:00

i don't want to do this anymore.

2011-10-11T18:14:00.003+08:00

I can't help feeling this way.

2011-10-10T21:23:00.002+08:00

fuck how i feel. i see his face, i'll punch him.

2011-10-04T23:25:00.001+08:00

i think its safe to say, that we're perfect for each other :)

2011-10-02T23:02:00.001+08:00

i'm a happy chappy. she said yes.

2011-10-02T17:05:00.000+08:00

"i know you still love me, don't you"

"no"

waiting.

2011-10-01T18:11:00.000+08:00

waiting for a call, a text, a message, or maybe, just a miracle.

one more chance.

2011-10-01T10:40:00.000+08:00

one last chance that i didn't deserve?

does that mean she's breaking up with him to give me one last final shot?

i hope so. i need it so desperately.

2011-09-25T19:32:00.000+08:00

another day spent with you. another day wishing i could be the only one.

today, when you said "if you get a girlfriend, it's good for you"
my heart just sank.
i thought you'd be jealous,

i felt worthless, that you didn't even care if someone else took me away

wheres my dead sure stephie. where.

2011-08-23T00:59:00.000+08:00

i dont like sharing you.

but its the only chance i have.

i want you all to myself, but then he's always sweeping you off your feet.

we always fought over nothing.

why can't we not fight

200

2011-08-14T18:43:00.000+08:00

Well, here i am again.

dying on the inside once again. watching you get closer to him.

crying, when finding out that you and him are so close

i just want you back. i want you to leave him for me, so it will be like it always has been,

the two of us.

i thought we were stronger than this. stronger than what the world thought we would be

sometimes, it really feels as if it is my fault that you left

then again it is.

every night i think about you. what it would be like if you were in my arms.

then i think about what its like when you're with him.

then my heart breaks into more than a million pieces.

how i wish you were in my arms not his.

and how hurt i feel, when i know that he's giving you the tingles that I should be giving you.

2011-07-18T22:39:00.000+08:00

they tell me the same thing everytime, if she's with another guy, it means she doesn't love you, she's not worth it.

she is worth it.

trust me.

Moments

2011-07-10T23:19:00.001+08:00

I lied that i could take it.

i fucking cant. do you hear me? i'm dying whenever i hear you two are so close.

deep down inside i hope you still love me.

even though I may seem okay, i may tell you i'm fine,

but i'm dying inside.

i'm going to pretend that nothing is happening

i'm going to let it eat me inside.

i'm going to sit here in this pain, until you come back for me.

and when you come back for me.

i'm going to treat you like a mother fucking princess.

cause i'm not going to let you miss out on a single "moment" with me.

2011-04-22T23:17:00.001+08:00

maybe im not your hearts desires anymore. that hurts.