my reality

NextStep

2012-03-26T12:23:00.001-04:00

I have the privilege of sitting in a room with a lot of guys with VISION. There is something about a compelling vision that just generates excitement.

I am taking this week to help people who feel called to start a new venture take another step toward that goal. I am honored to hear all the dreams that these people have but I am even more honored to help them take a step in that direction.

I feel like my role in this season of life is to help people take one step beyond where they are right now. Just today I had the opportunity to talk to a man who wants accountability for spiritual disciplines so we figured out the next step. Then on my way to my meeting I had a parent call me to let me know that her daughter and son in law are having issues with drugs and the only person they want to talk to is me (incredibly humbled). I explained that I will talk to them and figure out the next step. Now I get to be part of a team of leaders that helps others figure out and take the next step to start new churches. WOW

For whatever reason I have been given the responsibility to help people figure out their next step. What an honor to have people share their frustrations and failures followed by their dreams. I LOVE hearing them and helping them remove he clutter and excuses to move forward.

My point: I believe God has a plan for each and every one of us but I also belive the enemy does too. We decide who's plan we are going to fulfill.

What's your next step & what's stopping you from taking it?

Encourage

2012-03-01T10:37:00.002-05:00

We have created a culture of "evaluate everything". With that, comes some incredibly honest feedback. Some good, some not so good - or is it.

Even the "not so good" is positive if we use it to make things better. We always try to have a critical eye but never a critical heart. There is definitely a difference.

I love the freedom we have as a staff that we are not easily offended. We are also trying to establish an encouraging culture.

We have started taking a few minutes of our staff meeting to encourage someone at the table. This is specific encouragement, not just "way to go" or "good job".

The culture of evaluating can get poison very quickly if we don't balance it with encouragement. We are training our minds and hearts. We have the freedom to evaluate and communicate how to make things better but we also have the responsibility to encourage to make sure we are not just seeing the "not so good".

My point: you will find what you are looking for. If you are looking for something to make better, you won't have any trouble. If you are looking for something that people are doing right - you will find it.

Go encourage someone today. See if you can send a text or email that makes a person smile or even respond with "wow".

Proverbs 11:25 A generous person will prosper; whoever refreshes others will be refreshed.

You want to be encouraged or refreshed - go encourage / refresh someone else...

I heart you

2012-02-13T10:30:00.000-05:00

This past weekend we had 35 couples from C3 go on a marriage retreat. It was aweome.

It was a great reminder that a marriage centered on God makes for a much better marriage. The things we most often argue about are issues that come from our fears. Once we are able to identify those fears we can deal with them.

We had a very brave couple sit in front of everyone and work through an issue that has been going on for quite some time. They changed their focus from getting their own way or making sure their opinion was heard to posturing themselves with an open heart to truly understand the other. They changed the goal to understanding the other persons heart.

When you are in a position to understand, you don't have to get all emotional and defensive. When the other person "feels" understood (not when you "think" you understand them), they are more open to trying to understand you.

Watching this couple be that transparent with everyone staring at them was a life changing experience. It took away everyones excuses: If this couple can talk like that in front of everyone, we should be able to do it in private.

My point: marriage is a journey. Are you being a good journey partner. Would you want to journey with someone like you.

Just when I thought it couldn't get any better, we went to our room and they had personalized cookies - now that is a great retreat! (of course our kids ate them...)

anonymous

2012-02-01T21:09:00.001-05:00

One of the best things about my job is the joy of watching anonymous generosity.

I have had the privilege of telling people things like: their entire missions trip has been paid for, someone paid for your marriage retreat & here is a brand new 64gb iPad 2...

I have been on the receiving end of some anonymous gifts too and I used to wrestle with it. I would drive myself crazy thinking - who did this? I then realized that if I thanked them, that was it but if I allowed them to remain anonymous then God would bless them. I thought it was a better "thank you" if I allowed God to take care of it.

Konan just did a great series on the "blessed life" and it has radically changed lives. People are being incredibly generous and God is doing amazing things. You can listen to them on the C3 website but be careful - it will wreck you (in a good way)

My point: Anonymous is fun to be, hard to receive and AWESOME to be the messenger for.

1 thing

2011-07-08T16:30:00.000-04:00

Wed night the adult youth team chose 1 thing that they would want to say to the students if they knew they would NEVER see them again. It was really hard to come up with a sentence but here is what we came up with.

//Tomorrow is promised to no one, so what choice are you going to make today

//Find out who it is that God says you are, then believe it - live it out!

//God allows us to struggle in order to learn lessons we couldn't experience any other way

//Acknowledge Him in all your ways & he will direct your path (pr 3:5-6)

//Stay REAL! Dont imitate, ...Duplicate. BE yourself and LOVE yourself, and know that the only one that can JUDGE you is Jesus Christ, himself.

//Don't lose heart! Trials are temporary, focus on eternity (2 cor 4:16-18)

//You are not an accident. God has a very special purpose and plan for your life. He loves you unconditionally and wants to help you live out His purpose for your life.

//Life is full of choices, choose wisely.

//You WILL stand before God and give an account for the way you live this life

My point: you never know when the last time you see someone is the last time you will see them. We challenged them to make every encounter one that they would be ok being remembered that way.

After we presented our "1 thing" we had some of the students share the 1 thing they would say to someone if they knew they would never see them again and I was BLOWN AWAY.

These students are incredible and we as a team, are honored and humbled to be part of such amazing people.

What is the 1 thing you would say...

check your pulse

2011-07-07T16:24:00.000-04:00

Each Wed at youth we have a time set aside to share "check your pulse" moments.

The youth name is Pulse and we have decided to help students focus on the time between opportunity and decision. In that brief moment of time we are trying to give them so many questions that they can ask themselves before they make a decision. We want them to pause long enough to "check their pulse" and run the decision thru a few questions then make a wise decision.

A lot of times when we talk to someone after making a bad decision, we ask them "what were you thinking?" and they typically respond with "I have no idea". So we just want them to pause, check their pulse and then hopefully make a good choice.

Anyway, last night we had a student stand up and tell how he was at a party and he was being encouraged to smoke marijuana. The guy he went to the party with decided he didn't want to be around that stuff and was leaving. Now he was left with only the people who wanted him to smoke it but he said he had a "check your pulse" moment and decided that this is not the best thing for him to do. Instead of smoking, he found his friend and they left together.

I am so proud of these guys. I am equally proud of the environment this team has created to allow students to feel comfortable enough to stand up and share personal stories without fear of being judged.

My point: we all go thru junk & hard times. I think it is sad that we don't feel comfortable enough to ask for help or choose not to open up in fear of being judged instead of helped.

I am so encouraged to see the LifeChange that is taking place in these students & adult leaders - well done team!

is this the part...

2011-06-20T11:50:00.000-04:00

I was part of a group of dads who participated in a dance routine during Hannah's recital (the dad video is on my facebook). When I was on my way to the first rehearsal I told Shayna that I was just going to keep interrupting the instructor and asking "is this the part where I rip my shirt off?"

I made the mistake of telling Konan the same story. One of the owners of Passe (the place Hannah takes dance) goes to C3 and Konan decided to share my comment with her. At practice the next week, she and her husband asked me about it - is this the part where you rip your shirt off...

You know how sometimes you do things at home that you should only do at home. Things that are funny to us at the dinner table aren't necessarily funny to do at someone elses house or in a public restaurant? You know how you have to have those conversations with your kids and explain it to them that all the conversations we have at home don't need to be repeated - THIS WAS ONE OF THEM!!!

My point: We all do or say things that everyone isn't supposed to hear. Even if we don't want them to be repeated, we should be prepared if they are.

No harm was done with this one (I actually thought it was hilarious & so did they) but how many times do we wish we wouldn't have said something or hit "send" before we thought about it.

Side humor: yesterday we were having lunch at the same place some of our friends were eating and I had Hannah (5) and Raegan (3) go to their tables and ask "is this the part where I rip my shirt off"- it was pretty funny. I guess if we can do it at home, we can do it in a restaurant...

what I am reading

2011-06-18T18:01:00.000-04:00

Here are just a few of the resources I am into these days.

catalyst offers some free resources (audio, ebooks) that are worth getting and taking a look at.

you can sign up to get these emailed to you each day:
seth godin has a blog worth reading. it will definitely challenge your thinking.
leadership freak is always a good read.
minute with maxwell is a good 1 minute video clip of John Maxwell talking about a word. good to have going in the background while you are getting set up in the morning.

my point: I am always trying to learn and here are a few of the free resources I use to grow.

Let me know if you have some you like.

oh crap!

2011-06-17T08:25:00.000-04:00

Next Wed @ Pulse we will be talking about crap.

We all have those moments in life when we can't say anything other than "oh crap!"

We will be sharing stories about our "oh crap" moments and we will talk about how to avoid them.

We are going to talk about the ultimate opportunity for the worst "oh crap" moment ever & how to make sure you don't have it. I am sure there will be a lot of funny stories, some sad stories but the goal is to learn from those stories.

My point: when you are prepared and warned, you have no excuse. Share your "oh crap" stories so others can learn from them and learn from the stories you hear. There is no reason to repeat those moments.

I would love to hear your "oh crap" story. You can leave a comment or post on my FB wall

perfect timing

2011-06-16T10:12:00.001-04:00

Last night @ Pulse (C3's student ministry), Jacey talked about perfect timing. It was a great message that made me ask this question. How would I live my life different if I TRULY believed that God's timing was perfect.

We can say we believe it, we may even want to believe it but if we truly believe it, why do we worry, why do we question, why do we get mad, why do we pout, why do we rush things or stall.

What if God's timing was really perfect and we lived our lives as if we believed it.

My point: We may not always get what we want when we want it and we may act like spoiled rotten kids when we don't but if we really really believed God's timing was perfect all the time - I believe our lives would be different.

How would your life be different if you really believed God's timing was perfect...

fill in the gap

2011-06-12T22:07:00.000-04:00

In 1 Cor 13 Paul tells us what Love is. There is a part toward the end that says Love always Trusts...

When we expect something from someone and what they deliver is less than we expected, we have a gap. We choose to fill that gap with suspicion or trust. Today many C3ers made the decision to give the benefit of the doubt when there is a gap between expectations and experience.

Trust is something we choose to give or withhold. When we choose suspicion over trust we are communicating rejection. No one functions well in a relationship where they feel rejected.

My point: it feels a lot better to trust than to go thru life being suspicious and not trusting anyone. When you don't trust anyone, you are a lonely person. When you fear being hurt so bad that you won't trust anyone, you will never have meaningful fulfilling healthy relationships.

Trust is a choice: what's the downside?

Hannah

2011-06-11T21:43:00.000-04:00

Today was the day all the hard work was on display. Weeks and weeks of practice, outfits, hair, drama and laughs came to a close today after Hannah's recital.

It was absolutely amazing putting all this work into a 3 min presentation and it was well worth it. I cried watching my 5 year old little red headed princess show her ballet moves. It wasn't a perfect performance but it was perfect to me.

I was blown away at all the work behind the scenes and all the people it takes to pull off a dance recital. They did a great job. Passe did a great job and we are very pleased with them as a dance studio and as people. We got to know them a little on a personal level as well as business.

My point: the older my kids get, the more precious time seems to become. I don't ever want to miss out because I am too busy doing something that won't matter in the future. I want to give them the greatest present I have - my presence.

It was great getting to know some of the other dads too. We got to dance a little too (if that is what you want to call it...)

kayaking

2011-06-10T22:03:00.000-04:00

Today my oldest baby girl turned 15. I am so proud of her and wanted to do something different so I had planned a hike and along the way I was going to share 15 things I want her to always remember.

Somehow when I got on the websites to see some good trails, I came across a kayak trip. I tucked that option in my pocket and figured I would give her the choice. While we were driving I asked if she wanted to go for a hike or a kayak ride and she chose the kayak option.

Once we got in the boat, I thought of a lot of life lessons I could teach on this 1.5 hour trip. The coolest one we shared was how I am now allowing her to make more decisions for her life. A coach helps someone get where they want to go. I believe she knows what God wants her to do so it is my job to help her get there. I don't want to accomplish my will for her life, I want her to tell me what she feels God's will is for her life and I will help steer and guide thru rough waters.

We encountered some obstacles along the way, she got tired of paddling, we worked together, we communicated differently but we made it. It was a great growing experience for both of us.

My point: I want the best for my daughter and I have to begin to trust her and help her get where she feels called to be.

I will always be her daddy, I will always be there for her and I will always love her. I am sad she isn't a little girl but I am excited that she is growing into a young lady.

Happy birthday Shayna. I love you little girl... 3

guard your heart

2011-06-05T22:45:00.001-04:00

We have an amazing team of adult leaders to help Pulse student ministry. These guys (& gals) just get it. They not only make my job easy, they make it fun.

We are seeing incredible LifeChange in so many of the students & that is contagious. We need to experience LifeChange ourselves & model it for the students.

The other day one of the team was strugglin with something & called me. She let me know that she prayed thru it & determined that there was no way she was going to let this go to her heart. She understands that what is in ur heart comes out. It was more important to her to guard her heart so when she poured out to the students, poison wouldn't come out. That is called LifeChange!

As a result of her choice to guard her heart, she was able to pour love out to the youth that night.

My point: what goes in - comes out. If u have bitterness & unforgiveness in ur heart, poison will come out.

Someone said when u choose not to forgive someone, its like drinking poison & expecting it to hurt the other person.

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bike ride

2011-06-04T22:35:00.000-04:00

I got invited to a bike ride today and I am glad I went. Team Speranza was amazing and made me feel like part of the team.

We did 64 miles on a beautiful day. I learned a lot on just one ride. Right out of the gate there was a "we will not leave a team member behind" attitude when one member had a bad tire. Then another member lost a pedal and each time the team paused out of respect for the team.

One of the coolest things was the drafting. I couldn't believe how much of a difference there was in how hard it was to pedal based on where you were in the cycling line. The lead person sets the pace and takes the wind making it a little easier for the rest of the team. Then they fall in line and allow another person to "pull" the team. This was awesome to witness and to be part of.

The sense of team was awesome. They allowed me to ride with them even tho I have never done anywhere that distance or rode with a team. Now having rode with a team, I am kinda spoiled.

My point: when a team works in sync, there is nothing like it. When everyone knows their role and accomplishes it, it is a beautiful thing.

I am grateful for the invite to ride with Team Speranza, maybe we can do it again soon...

I am training for the PanOhioHopeRide at the end of July. I still need to raise $100 if anyone wants to help out and raise money for cancer. Click here to donate

ridiculous

2011-05-31T14:31:00.000-04:00

I am sure you will have to look closer at this pic to make out what it is. Once you get past the awesome Mexican background you may notice it somewhat resembles a wallet.

This is one of the most ridiculous wallets I have ever seen. It reminded me of the wallet that George Costanza carried. It was so thick he had to see a chiropractor for back pain or shove a wadded bunch of napkins under the other butt cheek to balance his posture.

I will not mention the name of the person that carried this overstuffed wallet in a giant sized purse but we did have a good laugh at it. As crazy as it may seem, the wallet is probably very organized. I just thought it was blogworthy.

My point: You can learn a lot about people by their daily habits. The way they act when they don't think anyone is around, the way they talk to their spouse, the way they drive... What do your life habits say about you?

I am still trying to figure out what message this overstuffed wallet sends - it would've been a lot better if it were overstuffed with money, maybe my lunch would've been paid for...

Mudrun

2011-05-28T22:50:00.000-04:00

Well for some reason a group of us thot it sounded like fun to run a 10k thru a bunch of obstacles & mud. We were right - It was a blast.

It was a beautiful day, we got to get some exercise & act like kids
again - play in mud. It was definitely a challenge but the fun and the memories we created far outweigh the aches & pains we came away with.

I am sure we will probably do it again next year but there is only the first mudrun once & I am glad we could experience it together.

My point: I love trying new things and I love creating memories. These memories just happen to include mud in places that mud should NEVER be - some memories may leave a rash...

forgot my wallet

2011-05-26T22:06:00.000-04:00

Everyone knows how this works. You go to lunch and when it is time to pay you tell the other person that you forgot your wallet.

The problem is that if you ALWAYS forget your wallet, we begin to question if you even own a wallet.

The other day this dude we will call him "Brad" forgot his wallet - AGAIN. I was going to get a polar pop and he said I will come with you. I knew his game so I asked if he had his wallet. Guess what, he didn't. I said dude just ask me to get you one, you don't have to keep playing that old game. We had a little giggle and went to get a polar pop.

As I was getting ready to go, I saw he was filling up 2. I asked what he was doing and he said he wanted to get Konan on too. I asked how he was planning on getting Konan one when he wasn't even getting himself one. He stood there and let it sink in that he wasn't even paying for his own so how did he plan on paying for Konan's. I said "Brad if you can figure this one out, you have totally beat the system. The whole economy will be rewritten by you if you can make this work."

Once it sunk in, he just stared at me. I said, get it, I will pay for his too...

My point: don't be that guy. Don't keep making the same excuses and think people are dumb enough to believe you.

I may be dumb enough to buy it, but I don't even think you own a wallet. If you do, it definitely doesn't have any money in it. Maybe you should say "I forgot to get a job to make money to put in my wallet". At least that's believable...

whats in a name

2011-05-22T19:58:00.001-04:00

Hannah is taking ballet & somehow I got roped into being part of the recital. I am 1 of about 30 dads who will be putting on a dance clinic.

We are kicking off the recital to a "Rocky" theme. I am learning that this white man can't dance & ain't got much rhthym BUT I will do just about anything for my girls. I figure it will be more embarrassing to them than to me so what's the downside.

I am gonna make sure I wear a C3 shirt so I can represent.

My point: who cares! Its all for fun. If I gotta watch a bunch of kids dance, they should have to watch a bunch of old guys attempt to get their groove on.

I kept interrupting the dance teacher asking "is this the part where I rip my shirt off". She didn't answer me yet, she is probably waiting on the perfect most opportune time for this public display...

I just blogged on my DROID

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it's all about timing

2011-05-19T12:34:00.000-04:00

Another little concept I have been trying to teach my children is timing.

As soon as Hannah gets in the car she immediately starts with "can I have..." That list goes from a snack to her book, a piece of gummy on the floor, a drink, a sleepover... you name it and she is asking for it.

I got pretty tired of answering all these so I decided to lecture a 5 year old. I told her it's all about timing. You are more likely to get what you are asking for if you pick the right time to ask. After we are all buckled up and situated is a better time to ask for a snack. When mommy is already at the refrigerator is a better time to ask for a drink. When you are being good is a better time to ask for ice cream.

I figured this went in her little red head and back out the other side just like most lectures do but to my surprise I was wrong. The other day, my 3yr old asked for something as soon as the van door shut. We didn't even have our seat belts on or van started yet and Raegan asked for a snack and a drink. I didn't even get to turn around and Hannah was saying "shhhh RaeRae, it's all about timing..."

I gave Hannah a high five and gave them both a snack.

My point: it's all about timing.

The other day Raegan asked for a little sister - too late Rae, it's all about timing...

dirty laundry

2011-05-17T18:53:00.000-04:00

The craziest thing happens every week. I throw dirty, wet nasty clothes in this basket in my closet and out of no where a pile of folded clean laundry appears.

I throw the dirty clothes in a closet and the clean ones appear in plain view. I think it's funny that we try to hide the dirty laundry of our lives but it is much better to go thru a process to become clean so we aren't ashamed to talk about it in public.

My point: think about the things in your life that you are hiding or ashamed of and find a coach to help you identify where you are and where you want to be, then help you get there.

I thought about looking into this mystery but I decided to just enjoy it instead. I am so thankful that my wife does laundry but I am learning that not every stain comes out...

race for the cure

2011-05-14T11:23:00.000-04:00

Today was the Susan G Komen race for the cure. Although it is hard to "race" with 50k people, it was a great time.

C3 represented "team Brandy" - a true hero. It was an honor to support this great cause represented by so many brave survivors.

I can't wait for the day that the mention of cancer isn't met with such uncertainty. I pray we see the day that it is treated with a shot or prescription. Until that day, we will just keep trying to raise awareness and support.

My point: I am honored to participate in such a great cause. I am humbled by the strength of so many who are affected by cancer.

It was awesome running with my wife. The best part of the course was the stretch of motorcycles revving their engines in support. It was quite an adrenaline rush.

easily offended

2011-05-11T16:14:00.000-04:00

I saw a little girl the other day and I found myself trying to guess how old she was. I thought about my kids and decided that this little girl was about 3 yrs old.

I realized I stink at guessing people's ages. I would be horrible at the carnival game to guess ages. Then I started thinking about people's spiritual age. Wouldn't it be cool to be able to determine someone's spiritual maturity.

If we could do that, we could partner the mature ones with the less mature believers. Then I heard a statement that said "you can determine your spiritual maturity by how easily offended you are".
Uh oh...

If we can determine how spiritually mature someone is by how easily offended they are, there are a lot of immatture so-called believers up in the house!

If you find yourself being offended I would challenge you to take a long hard look at your relationship with Jesus.

My point: If you are easily offended, you are immature. If that statement just offended you - you proved my point.

yo momma

2011-05-08T21:19:00.000-04:00

Well it had to be done - a shout out to all the mom's.

Without you, none of us would be here.

I am so thankful for my mom. She is an amazing woman and I continue to learn lessons from years of being around her. I see the selflessness, sacrifice, wisdom, heart, kindness... I could go on but you would just agree. (Hopefully you can say the same about yo momma)

My mom is amazing and there is nothing in this world I can do to thank her enough for all she has done and continues to do. I am so grateful that my children get to be around her and absorb some of the qualities she has to offer.

My point: I love my mom - period!

Now if you didn't already do it, go tell yo momma Happy Mother's Day!

be a miracle

2011-05-07T15:26:00.000-04:00

I remember when I was wondering why God doesn't seem to "do" miracles anymore. I know that I was focusing on what I defined as a miracle and then I realized that He does still do miracles and sometimes He will allow us to be part of them.

I got to witness this the other night. There is a couple that needed a financial miracle and God came thru in an "anonymous" way.

I had the priviledge of being right in the middle of it. "Anonymous" contacted me and said to let the couple know that God took care of the need.

I got to see first hand the reaction and even tho some may not consider it a "miracle" because an anonymous person took care of it, there were no arguments from the couple that needed it.

My point: God still does miracles and sometimes we get to be part of them.

Go be a miracle to someone...