in my life

if i had a theme song....

2013-04-12T11:31:00.002-04:00

It’s been an emotionally taxing week, to say the least. I started with a new therapist, and, while she is rad and I know for sure I’m on the right path, it’s hard work doing a whole re-wire of all your brains. Also, the boss has returned to work full time…he’s a good friend of ours outside of work, so it’s cool, but he’s still the boss at work and my nerves are a tad frayed….to say the least….

That said, this song makes me happy…and I always imagine that if I had a theme song that played whenever I walked into anywhere…or, you know, out of the bullpen and on to the pitcher’s mound (?) this would be it…..

But then I also feel that way about this song sometimes when I’m feeling less…hyper. Which is kind of right now. Cuz we’re having some torrential downpour and it’s freezing cold and dreary and like I said, I am emotionally maxed out. I’m pretty sure Shawn Mullins wrote this song for me, even though I’ve never met him….

So that’s all I’ve got, but it’s Friday, and this is enough, darnit.

If you had a theme song, what would it be? Also, please send wine.

noms noms noms!

2013-04-04T10:08:00.001-04:00

I know I was a bit of a bragger last night on the social media….I whipped up a dinner that was pretty freakin’ amazing, if I do say so myself….and these days? That doesn’t happen too often.

Just ask my husband.

Poor thing.

Anyway, while we were out gallivanting at the petting zoo last Sunday, I found the most gorgeous tomato at the farm stand, and $3.99/lb be damned, I snatched that baby right up. By no small miracle, I had an avocado that was perfectly ripe and I brainstormed up this little number…some days I have it all together, and most days I SO do not…..

I didn’t know what I was going to do with the shrimp, but I knew I wanted it so I rooted around in my cupboard and found a packet of my new favorite, sodium filled lifesaver, the McCormick’s Marinades.

You know, I can’t make everything from scratch. I have such a complex about that….

Here’s what happened next….

And if you make this? Consider yourself warned: you will pretty much want this to be the only thing you will ever eat again forever and you’ll want it every day all day cuz DAMN.

Citrus Grilled Shrimp & Avocado Tomato Salad
with Roasted Garlic, Lemon & Honey Dressing.

For the Shrimp:

1 lb. raw, jumbo shrimp, peeled & deveined

1 packet of McCormick’s Baja Citrus Marinade

1 TBS honey

¼ cup vegetable oil

2 TBS vinegar

2 TBS water

Heat grill to medium high.

Prepare marinade in a gallon size ziplock bag according to directions on the packet, adding 1 TBS of honey. Add shrimp and marinate in the fridge for 15-30 minutes.

Skewer shrimp and grill 2 minutes per side or until firm, opaque and charred. Careful not to overcook!!

For the Salad:

1 large, perfectly rip avocado (yum!), sliced

1 large, gorgeous beefsteak tomato, sliced

¼ of a small red onion, thinly sliced into half circles

10-15 pitted kalamata olives, chopped

Crumbled feta

Assemble the tomato and avocado slices all pretty on a platter. Sprinkle with onion slivers, olives and feta.

For the Dressing:

Juice of 1 juice lemon

2-4 roasted garlic cloves

(I got mine in the olive bar section of the grocery store. If you want to roast your own, go for it, but I think you’re crazy)

2 TBS honey

3-4 TBS olive oil

¼ tsp kosher salt

Add everything except the oil to a food processor or blender and process to a smooth consistency. Add the oil and process for a few seconds to incorporate.

Drizzle the dressing over the salad, lay the shrimp skewers artistically on the side of the plate, take a picture and promptly upload to every social media outlet, brag about how fabulous you are, take a bow and kiss yourself.

MWAH!

brain vomit

2013-03-26T09:58:00.000-04:00

I’m always inspired by my friend Kim to delve deeper, feel more, think harder, write truer….the truth is, today (and any day, actually) I really don’t want to do that. Because I’m lazy. And I’m tired. And I wish I had either brought breakfast or had enough cash on me to get some breakfast because now I’m crabby and unsatisfied with my whole lineup of food (or lack thereof) for the rest of the day and that’s no way to face 9am.

I know I don’t blog anymore. I hate that. I got so caught up in “the blogging world” that I lost sight of why I even started to blog in the first place and then going back to my roots just seemed like so much WORK and frankly, I do enough work. It is easier just to link up and trampoline of other bloggers ideas and throw out some honest love and shoutouts from time to time.

This blog is about me. And about Bennett. It’s not about how many followers I can get or what the drama is with Google Reader or sponsorship or feeling like the outcast who has to sit by herself in the corner of the lunch room eating a stinky plate of cabbage and onions or something. I never intended to feel like that on my own blog, but I do sometimes. And that doesn’t feel good. So I just don’t blog. And then I read Kim, and she makes me WANT to be authentic, and put blinders on, and write what I feel even if I don’t have a perfectly edited and PicMonkey’d photo to add to it.

Such angst. Blog angst. Have you ever heard of anything so dumb?

Tuesday Thoughts…

I’m having problems with my nose. Can I talk about boogers for a second? It’s my blog, I can talk about whatever I want….I don’t know if I need a humidifier or what will solve this but I am making more boogers lately than ever before. And they are the kind that stick to the side of my nose and HURT. Thanks for letting me get that off my chest.

I want a Polar FT4 HRM and a new pair of Asics but I don’t want to exercise. Dumb.

If I am still this fat on my birthday this year, I will jump off the 59^th street bridge.

I finally started a savings account to take Benny on a Disney cruise for his 5^th birthday. This is seriously bringing me more joy than I’ve felt in a long time.

Went to see P!NK at the Izod Center Saturday….it absolutely blew my mind. She is amazing….seriously, if you have the chance, it’s a must see show. I am basically in love with her.

Aaaand my brain just quit on me. guess it’s time to go…..

But first...since I apparently just cannot allow myself to post without a picture, here is my freakishly adorable kid. eating a PB&J. I could swallow him whole.

(yes, it's been PicMonkey'd. Just a little though. I can't stop.)

everything you never wanted to know....

2013-03-19T15:59:00.000-04:00

about my makeup & skincare routine....

First things first. Let's address the elephant in the room, shall we?

I’m not gonna lie… this whole Bloglovin’ transition is really throwing me for a loop, and I was in enough of a funkydunk before this all happened. I don’t even really know WHAT happened, but I know I’m caught up in the propaganda of it all and you know what? I’m not such a fan of change. I mean, I like to change where I live. That’s fun. Run away to where nobody knows my name or my face and I can be whoever I want to be, start from scratch? That’s my bag. But taking away my google reader and moving me to Bloglovin’ is messing with my comfort zone and I’m kind of all screwed up about it. and I have PMS. And it’s still effing snowing. So you can imagine the mood I am in, yes?

So instead of anything meaningful, this morning, I was staring down in a zombie-like trace at my basket of makeup thinking ‘you know what would be interesting? If I wrote a blog post about my makeup.” Cuz in a zombie trance, That really did seem like it might be interesting. If it’s not, forgive me. I’m a little off kilter these days….

I wash my face every morning & every night. It doesn’t matter if I am exhausted, drunk, sick, didn’t wear makeup all day…doesn’t matter. Face gets washed twice a day. It is my religion. At night I use Origins Checks & Balances because it takes off my mascara well & I am way too lazy to add the extra step of eye makeup remover. Also, it lathers awesome and smells like clean trees and eucalyptus or something. In the morning, I use either something gentle like Neutrogena or a couple times a week, I use this amazing exfoliating cleanser I got in my Birchbox one month called Vasanti Brighten Up, and it’s the best exfoliator ever.

To moisturize, for daytime I use Clinique All About Eyes & Estee Lauder Daywear + SPF. It smells like cucumbers & does a fine job. Plus, Scott gets a discount cuz he works for EL, so everybody wins.

At night, I use Rapid Lash like it’s my job, moisturize with Pond’s dry skin cream (cuz that’s what my momma always did and it smells amazing) and then I use Ceramide Herbal Eye Cream by Mario Badescu. I have a deep love for Mario.

That’s my skincare routine…it’s subject to change, but that’s what’s working for me lately….

Here are more links to the stuff I use on the daily….and please share your faves with me too! I love hearing about what everybody else does to get pretty!!!

1. Garnier BB Cream (I used to love this like whoa, but I am starting to stray. I recently fell in love with a CC Cream from my Birchbox and I think that's going to be my new love....see #4)

2. Chanel Glossimer glosses. I had a real habit there for awhile. They are on the sticky side, but soooo sparkly......

3. Elf blush in Pink Passion I was a little afraid of this when I first bought it, but it is the greatest, perky shade of happy pink & it stays on all day when my Chanel blush is rubbed off my 10am.

4. Juice Beauty CC Cream - I am obsessed. This stuff is amazing.

5. Too Faced Sun Bunny Bronzer - this stuff ain't cheap, but it will last forever. I've gone a little heavy handed once or twice and it's easy to get your Snooki on with this, but if you exercise caution, it's the perfect brozer.

6. That's my Rapid Lash right there...I live for this stuff. My lashes were sad and piddly. Now I get compliments. #Boom. The End.

7. More Glossimer. I have a problem.

8. MAC shadows in Vapour, Cork & Naked Lunch. I also use both Urban Decay Naked Palattes all the time.

9. My mascara routine consists of four steps. First, I curl the lashes, then I put on Origins Underwear for Lashes (#11), then a coat of Diorshow in black, then Estee Lauder Zero-Smudge Double Wear. Yes, I'm exhausted.

10. Revlon Eyelash Curler. I used to have a fancy one but it broke.

11. Origins Underwear for Lashes

12. MAC Concealer in NC20. I don't love this, and I ran out of my YSL Touche Eclat and cannot afford a replacement. Srsly, that shiz is expensive. So I use this. It's just ok for me, dawg.

13. All of my brushes & pencils....mostly, I use MAC liners in Teddy & Smolder and lip pencil in Stone & Subculture.

14. Vasanti Brighten Up Exfoliator

it's just a little crush...

2013-03-08T15:44:00.001-05:00

I’m a sucker for a good crush….

I’ve pretty much got one crush or another running at all times, whether it is a crush on some rock star (I use the term loosly) like David Cook or some loser like Adam Richman or some once-was-a-rockstar-but-now-is-an-english-teacher friend of ours named John Hampson…

I’m even prone to the Girl Crush, not in a Katy Perry, I Kissed a Girl & I liked It way, but in a 100% non-sexual yet still 100% swoon-worthy way. It usually has to do with their beautiful hair or perfect skin or incredibly enviable sense of effortless style or their easy, breezy humor or their wit and charm or their talent with words….

It seems I’m not alone.

Miss Erin over at Living in Yellow had this great idea to do a sort of blogger confesh sesh where we all just come clean about those bloggers we’re crushing on for one reason or another….

I wear my heart on my sleeve, so the fact that I’m crushing on these lovelies probably won’t come as a surprise to you or to them, but here they are….my blog crushes. Go visit them. I bet you’ll fall in love, just like I am…

Kim from Typical Kim

This girl. This girl is as real as it gets. From the very first time I read her words, I knew she was special. She is one of my people. You know what I mean, when you just find one of your own. It’s a “home” sort of feeling. It’s rare and it’s awesome. She’s crazy smart and crazy cute and she has a really awesome dog that she loves to death. When I read her blog, I never want to stop….like I want her to write books, so I can read 500 pages in a sitting. So, I sent her cheese and she sent me cupcakes and we’ve been in love ever since. I feel very lucky I found this one…She is amazing.

Beth Anne from OK, BA!

This is one of those rockstar crushes like I talked about up there, cuz to me? Miss BA is a rockstar. She hardly knows I exist. I sort of feel like I felt in the 7^th grade when I was head over heels in love with Marc Horton who was OMGGGG gorgeouuuus except, I was sort of a nerd, or I thought I was anyway, I was probably awesome…anyway, I loved him. Like, hard. And I never spoke to him the entire year. Not one word. But the whole school new I loved him and I wrote “I love Marc” all over everything, because I did…love him…my little 12 year old heart loved him like no other…and on the last day of school, my best friend took him my yearbook and asked him to sign it and do you know what he wrote? “Bug off! Marc”.

Actually, this is not like that at all, but I am glad I got that off my chest. No, BA is the opposite of that. She is….ready? To me, she is BRAVE, strong, smart, determined, motivated, FUNNY, real, honest, vulnerable, loving, gentle…she is an amazing mother with a love for her boy that is so strong I can feel it through her words and the relationship she has with her husband inspires me and just fills me with awe. She’s one cool lady. I want to be her best friend. But like I said, she barely knows I exist, so I’m probably bordering on creepy right now...I better move on…

Amber from Bugs, Barbies & Wedded Bliss

(Amber, love, I'm sorry. I had to use this picture. I stalked your IG feed for it. I love it.)

This bish is my homegirl. Lets start with the obvious….girlfriend is drop dead gorgeous. Forget it. She’s perfect. Like, could I even go out to ~~happy hour~~ lunch with her without a bag over my head? But besides that, she is my SAHM hero. She mothers those beautiful babies of hers with a heart unlike any other and her love is deep and pure and awesome. I can tell she loves her babes with the same heart my momma had and that, my friends, is a beautiful thing. You know who else she loves? Her husband, that lucky dog. Miss Amber does everything, and she’s honest when it overwhelms her and she tells the truth always and she’s funny….like seriously hysterical. andplusalso, my girl can hastag #LikeABOSS. I love this one with my heart.

Ashley from Hudson’s Happenings

My sweet, beautiful Ashley. Is she gorgeous or what? She is so gentle. She is the epitome of what a classy lady should be. She’s all please and thank you and southern charm and her eyelashes are the mose beautiful eyelashes I’ve ever seen….SHE is the most beautiful I have ever seen, inside and out. Her heart is just genuine and full and she is humble and thankful and….I love her. She was my very first blog crush, if we’re doing true confessions. Before we ever emailed, I’d read her blog and lost hours pouring over her beautiful photography, her adorable family, her daring and genius outfits, her touching words and her beautiful smile. Ashley is the real thing in the most delicate, ladylike, stunning package.

Now go pay them a visit and try not to fall in love…..betcha can’t help it!

the plague...i haz it....

2013-03-07T14:17:00.002-05:00

Or yellow fever…or typhoid flu or something. There is something terribly unwell with me…and I really hate to complain because….well, I’d rather you save your tolerance of my complaining for insignificant crap like when I’m all “waaaah I don’t have anything to wear to see my imaginary boyfriend in this band Friday night!” or “waaaaahhhh I’m fat but I am too lazy to fix it” or even “wahhhhhhhhhhh if it snows one more single friggin’ second I am going to jump off the roof.” Sympathy for being sick is, like, obligatory or something.

Anyway, I feel myself veering off on a tangent. I’m only here to say that I really, really want to participate in Erin’s Blogger Crush link up today, cuz I have some fierce love for my favorite ladies, but the fact is, I am a zombie…..and I can’t think….let alone, put together a cohesive post with links and pictures and ohhhh my head. Really. this might be the flu. I hope it’s not the flu, cuz I almost made it out of winter flu-free but dang y’all, I feel like HELL.

I am going to do it, I just have to pick my face up off the carpet first. Tomorrow maybe? Please pray to the god of NyQuil for me.

In the meantime, here is a picture of the sweetest boy you ever will see…because he is perfect. Perfect, I tell you.

weekend shenannigans...

2013-03-04T10:38:00.000-05:00

Here is what we were up to this weekend…

Friday night I met up with the boys after work at Dave & Busters and spent some time fine tuning Benny’s skee-ball game. Kid’s really got it down, yo…

We followed that up with some filthy dinner and cheap wine and a cleansing conversation that needed to be had….

Deep breaths…

Saturday I was up with the birds to make a crumb cake for my buddy’s 15^th birthday because crumb cake is what he loves and I aim to please. It turned out awesome, but of course, I am a drip and didn’t take a picture….birthday festivities ensued and good times were had by all. CAKE!

Sunday was a day of rest & recovery, pancake making from scratch, a therapy session-slash-lunch date with my good friend Noreen and grocery shopping with my baby at Whole Foods.

I found this PERFECT pancake recipe and have never gone back to using mix ever since. Sometimes I add blueberries…if I’m feeling naughty, I throw in some chocolate chips, but if you never trust another word I say, trust that these are THE best pancakes you will ever eat. Make them. Sunday. You’re welcome. (I’m serious.)

Buttermilk Pancakes

3 cups all-purpose flour

3 tablespoons white sugar

3 teaspoons baking powder

1 1/2 teaspoons baking soda

3/4 teaspoon salt

3 cups buttermilk

1/2 cup milk

3 eggs

1/3 cup butter, melted

	In a large bowl, combine flour, sugar, baking powder, baking soda, and salt. In a separate bowl, beat together buttermilk, milk, eggs and melted butter. Keep the two mixtures separate until you are ready to cook.
	Heat a lightly oiled griddle or frying pan over medium high heat.
	Pour the wet mixture into the dry mixture, using a wooden spoon or fork to blend. Stir until it's just blended together. Scoop the batter onto the griddle, using approximately 1/4 cup for each pancake. Brown on both sides and serve hot with lots of better and syrup. Yum!

toddler bliss & mommy angst

2013-02-28T09:45:00.000-05:00

We found ourselves in a magical place last Saturday afternoon….full of stuff to learn and get into and crawl on and mess with and touch and (much to my dismay) LICK and fall off of and run into and slide down and destroy….

The Children’s Museum was a trip to Heaven and an Attention Deficit Meltdown for Ben, all rolled into one….I’d love to say “his favorite thing was…” except he didn’t hold still long enough to discover it….which is exactly how life is supposed to be when you are 2...

although, if I had to take a stab at guessing, my money would be on the elevator….what can I say? Somebody has a mild obsession with buttons, and an elevator? Has more buttons than anything. Every time we went past it he was all ZOMGGGGGGG buttons!!!!!! And beelined straight for the open doors…

MY favorite part was the stop at Chipotle for lunch afterwards. Why have no pictures of that little slice of bliss nobody knows.

Every once and awhile in the middle of the depressing, blustery, grey days of winter up here in this delightful {sarcasm} place I am, for now, stuck calling “home”, you need to get out and stretch, spread your wings and absorb some color, excitement and gleeful toddler squeeling. It feeds the soul.

I’m happy to say my soul is fed for the next few weeks. My sweet boy had a blast.

Folks, don’t think it has gone unnoticed by me that things are a little strange here on this blog these days. I’m really trying hard, which I’m sure is obvious, because, at least to me, it seems the harder I “try” the more contrived posts tend to become and nobody wants to read that crap. It feels inauthentic, robotic and awkward, and I know you feel it too. Maybe it’s winter. Maybe it is the things in my life that go undiscussed (not a word, I know.) here….whatever it is, something is clouding my vision and squelching my creativity. Suffocating the ability I used to have to run wild and free over here. I miss it more than anyone.

let it snow...

2013-02-26T11:36:00.000-05:00

And snow….and snow…and SNOW. 32 inches of snowwwwwwwwww.......

It’s taken this long to shovel out from the epic blast we got up here in the northeast a couple of weekends ago…

You’d think, as I did, that if we were going to get blasted with record breaking snow totals, the best possible scenario would be for it to start falling Friday afternoon…giving the salters and sanders and plowers and shovellers and blowers enough time to get the big ole’ mess cleaned up for Monday’s commute….except, apparently, when you’ve got some 102 year old on the news talking about how he's never seen this much snow in his entire life, well, all the shit just shuts down, yo.

There’s good news and there’s bad news….the good news is, we were lucky enough to be snowed in with our dear, sweet friends Andi & Grayson who had flown in from Denver to hang out with us, arriving Thursday night just in time for Snowpocolypse 2013. The bad news is, they was supposed to fly home Monday morning. Cue panic, cancelled flights, cabin fever meltdowns, lots of wine, and a healthy dose of tears….(and not just from the toddlers...)

We finally got them on a direct flight back home at the asscrack of dawn Tuesday morning, Andi wound up with the flu, and Ben is still walking around going “Addy? Eason??” looking for his buddies….

Cabin Fever aside, we made the best of things, bundled up the boys for some street sledding, ate lots of snow, took lots of naps and soaked up lots of hugs and love to last us till the next time we get to play with these two….hopefully with just maybe a little bit less weather???

i love you more...

2013-02-25T13:03:00.000-05:00

There are places I remember
All my life, though some have changed
Some forever not for better
Some have gone and some remain
All these places have their moments
With lovers and friends I still can recall
Some are dead and some are living
In my life I've loved them all

But of all these friends and lovers
There is no one compares with you
And these memories lose their meaning
When I think of love as something new
Though I know I'll never lose affection
For people and things that went before
I know I'll often stop and think about them
In my life I love you more

Though I know I'll never lose affection
For people and things that went before
I know I'll often stop and think about them
In my life I love you more
In my life I love you more

~The Beatles

is there a doctor in the house?

2013-02-22T15:25:00.001-05:00

Does anybody know CPR?

My blog.

She is dying.

And I don’t know how to save her. I've got such tremendous stress over this, this silly little blog.

I've lost that lovin’ feelin’…

It’s kind of like when you miss a workout. And then you miss the next one too. And the one after that. And then you just stop going altogether because that momentum you’d built up at great cost? Just completely fizzled out in like 1/64^th the amount of time it took to build it in the first place. Don't ask me how I know about such things, I just do.

I feel like my heart is SO heavy lately. I can barely get through the day on auto-pilot let alone tap into my creativity to bang out a post that will scratch my itch. I feel like I am driving a toy tractor inside a shoe box. Drive drive drive…crash into the wall….drive drive drive….crash into the wall. No doors, no way out, no hope for change, just driving and crashing into the wall over and over again. Like, how many times do I keep doing this till I finally just give up, turn the engine off, get off the tractor and sit on the floor of the box, listeless? I think I’m close.

Source: someecards.com via Rachel on Pinterest

But they say Spring is around the corner. I guess that is supposed to invigorate me? I've seen snapshot of daffodil shoots breaking the frozen earth on Instagram. They say in the spring you feel renewed, is that right? I'll let you know.

In the meantime, don't worry about me. It's probably just PMS anyway, that dirty whore.

saw it, pinned it, did it - valentine's edition

2013-02-14T09:21:00.000-05:00

Um….sorry to toot my own horn, really I am. if you know me, you know I’m usually very uncomfortable with self-horn tooting however, when I do something rad, it’s REALLY rad….so let’s just own it, am I right, ladies??

Here is the original pin...

Source: dandee-designs.com via Rachel on Pinterest

Sadly, I can’t take any credit at all for the creative genius that is Ben’s class Valentine this year. All the accolades belong to dandee-designs. I can take credit, however, for executing them perfectly and managing to take a trip to Michael’s during which I found absolutely every single exact thing I needed (miracle.) and got out of there without having a Crafting Envy meltdown. ::::high five:::

These turned out so amazing that I wish I could do them for the next 10 years. They are the perfect DIY boy Valentine, and I am totally obsessed with them. Obsession. How unlike me…..hmmmm…anyway…..a giant thank you to dandee-designs for the printable and the fantastic inspiration and for making the life of this stressed out, manic mama a real breeze for once.

Happy Valentine's Day, Lovers!!!!!

this is the story of a band...

2013-02-04T14:18:00.000-05:00

That made me so happy this weekend that my cheeks hurt from smiling. Cheez-O, I know, but it’s the truth…It’s been a long time since that’s happened and I am still floating around in a post-show daze with pink hearts and stars floating around my head. I LOVE this band. Forever….

Friday night started off the weekend with some last minute running around…an eyebrow wax and a mani (Essie “marshmallow” because my standard “limo-scene” was nowhere to be found…) , a trip to ulta for fake eyelashes I didn’t end up wearing (necessary, obviously.) and a big box of vino to get me through the night of getting ready for Saturday (i.e. trying on everything in my closet – none of which fits me – drinking more wine – freaking out – deciding I am no longer going to the show – realizing I have to go to the show, even if I have to wear a mumu – crying – eating a giant bowl of pasta - passing out with nothing done.)…

Saturday morning, the boys headed out early to give me some alone time to get ready in peace, which I deemed a true Christmas Miracle, and I was even able to have a few extra minutes to run into Kohl’s and grab a pair of leather gloves (on which I saved something like $47 because I am a freakin’ animal.)…I had a haircut & blowout at 1:30 at a new place that I am completely obsessed with and, of course, they did an amazing job and since you get what you pay for, I am now broke as a joke. But damn my hair looked fantastic!

All this to drop Benny off at his Aunt Amy’s house and jam to catch the 4:26 train into the city....

We grabbed the F train down to 2^nd Ave & headed over to Katz’s Delicatessen for some indescribably amazing pastrami on rye and a much needed cold beer (Fake orgasm scene not re-enacted, thank you for wondering), did a double take in front of National Underground (which I always want to call Digital Underground, cuz, you know, The Humpty Dance is your chance to do The Hump. Duh.) and sent a quick text to my Sami to let her know that she and her lovah Gavin DeGraw were with us in spirit…

then we ran across the street and squished ourselves into the world’s smallest live music venue for some drinks & some snuggles & some good conversation with my favorite boys, Ninedays & some of my favorite girls too….

It was blissful being back in the audience amongst the devoted few who would still, many years later, travel far and wide to see that somewhat messy, kind of weird but always amazing band play their hearts and sing their brilliant lyrics. Those are my people. That is my happiness right there, and I missed it so.

Brian had sent me a message on facebook a couple of weeks ago making sure that I was coming to this show (as if.) because he had something to give me….and, not 3 seconds after their set ended my sweet friend waves me over, digs in his bag and, all the way from Nashville, unfolded, un-bent and in immaculate condition, produces David Cook’s autograph. To me. to ME.

I’m not going to lie, it was one of my most favorite moments of my life.

Not because I don’t already have at least 6 things signed to me from David…..or 12…or possibly a hundred at this point. I am sort of out of control….but because of the way it came to me. How thoughtful and awesome was Brian to do that for me? How elated was I that my worlds were colliding in such a harmonious and freakin’ AMAZING way?? I just stood there holding it, beaming, pretty much speechless except to say “OMG! TELL ME THE STORY!! TELL ME THE STORY!!!!” because, obviously.

It turns out that they’re neighbors! Brian moved down to Nashville a few years ago, and David moved there last year and, apparently, they ended up in the same neighborhood….with similar paths, similar talents and similar stories, of course they have become friends, plan to write together, plan to blow my mind! Sometimes life is just so cool…

It started to snow, so we snapped a few ridiculous pictures for old times sake, grabbed a cab back to Penn and made our way home to snuggle with The Little and rest up for Super Bowl Sunday….

Hmmmm…..yeah. There was not too much that was “super” about Sunday. Beaten and exhausted, we barely made it to the diner for breakfast by 11 (Big Thanks to our babysitter, Dora the Explorer for entertaining Ben all morning while we nursed our nasty cases of Being No Longer 22)….came back home to nap until 3 and then whipped up a quick Buffalo Chicken Dip and headed over to our friends’ house for food and football….and water….lots of water and Advil….

Who won the game? I passed out after Beyonce. Bish is fierce.

Linking up with Samilicious for Weekend Update!!

i haz happiez

2013-01-23T08:46:00.000-05:00

This morning? I woke up to this...

and it made me so happy I'm pretty sure I squeeked.

I know numbers don’t reeeeally matter and it’s content that’s important. My content lately has been less than impressive (at least to me), which makes it all the more mind blowing to start my day with 202 of you little chickenheads checking in to see what nonsense I have to spew on the daily…or weekly, as the case may be lately.

I’m going to try harder. You’ve made me want to. I am so excited to have all of you guys, to get to know you and your stories and to share my (sometimes lame, sometimes mundane, mostly ridiculous) stories with you…now who was supposed to be The Champagne Bish?? Get your cute butt over here and let’s pop that cork!!! Amber, I’m looking at you!

Now, let’s get this party started for REAL, people!!!

The Facts of Rach

2013-01-22T09:50:00.002-05:00

uno.
It makes me bonkers when people leave time on the microwave. Just push the stop button. It’s not hard.

dos.
The smell of cold food that is supposed to be hot makes me almost hurl every time. Leftovers are not my friend. It doesn’t matter if it smells exactly the same hot as it does cold, somehow my nose knows and the smell of it right out of the fridge makes me gag. Except for pizza. That I can handle.

I rarely wear a coat. Even if it’s 20 degrees outside. I just hate the feeling of bundling up. I feel all trapped and immobile and crabby when I have on too many clothes. It’s the California girl in me.

tres.
Speaking of California, I left my heart there. I honestly feel like I’ll never be the real me again until I go back, which may never happen, and I mourn that. I do.

cuatro.
Things I enjoy that lots of people don’t: mushrooms, roller coasters, doing laundry, anchovy paste, super spicy hot sauce, plane rides, super hot weather (like Arizona in July hot).

cinco.
Things I don’t care much for that lots of people enjoy: hot tubs, snow, high heels, oysters & cats.

seis.
About those cats….I’m allergic. Bad.

siete.
I can’t deal if only one of my hands gets wet. If one hand gets wet, I have to get at least part of the other one wet or else it freaks me out.

ocho.
Also, I hate having dirty or sticky hands. When I am cooking, I will constantly wash my hands after everything I touch, and use a new paper towel every time. Carbon footprint, I know.

nueve.
I always eat my French fries first.

diez.
I was a soul train dancer for one episode. I wish I could find the picture of this….stop laughing.

once.
I drink more water than anyone you know. And yes I pee…a lot.

doce.
I love Whitney and I think you should link up too cuz facts are fun and that’s a fact!

And Plus Also? This post insipired me to finally, after almost TWO years, update my About page. So there you have it. More facts about me in one day than you ever wanted to know. Don't blame me, blame Whitney ;)

currently...

2013-01-16T15:54:00.001-05:00

Hey....is anybody still out there?? Sorry. I know.

My life lately is not nearly as exciting as my lack of blogging might lead you to believe....or now that I am thinking about it, maybe my lack of blogging lately is a perfect indicator of what a snorefest my life has been....regardless, here is a quicky update....

I am currently…

Hating…

That I feel so swamped at work. Ugh. I like to be busy cuz it makes the time go faster but chaos and loose ends are not my thing, yo.

Loving…

(I think?) my new glasses from Firmoo, (a great big thanks to the adorable Emily from The Sweetest Thing for the $25 credit I won in her giveaway!) but still too chicken to wear them out of the house…they are just SO nerd chic and I sometimes* feel way too frumpy and lame to pull off that hipster act.

(*all the time. even when I am rocking my Chucks, which, by definition are supposed to make a girl feel cool ,right? Sad.)

Crushing on…

This sweet, delicious boy, as per the usual. I could just BITE that little butt!!!!!

Freaking out over…

The fact that I am 4 GFC followers away from 200…what? me?? the girl who sucks at blogging? I love you guys. Wif my heart of hearts. We should do a giveaway, yes?

Excited about…

Wearing my new boots I just got from Sole Society with the credit they sent me in my Influenster Holiday VoxBox. I LOVE them!!! And I loved being a part of the Influenster program last month too. If you are jonesing for a new pair of boots…or flats….or sexy heels, you can use the code: INFLUENSTER25 to get $25 off your purchase through January 31^st!!! In the meantime, tell me how to style these cuties, cuz I am a hot mess fo’ sho’.

Daydreaming about…

Source: soul-surfer.tumblr.com via Rachel on Pinterest

Moving to Florida. Or South Carolina. Or back home to SoCal. Just somewhere warm and pretty with palm trees that nourishes my spirit. Every day I spend here sucks the life out of me more and more. I feel angry, unmotivated and uninspired. I feel like the girl I used to be is gone forever, and I miss her.

Dreading…

My birthday this year. I don’t even want to talk about it.

Pigging out on….

Pretty much this whole pan of leftover Honey Lime Chicken Enchiladas I made the other night. Nom Nom Nom…

Reading….

All of your blogs! Now that I have them all organized into cool little folders in my reader, I am so much less stressed out when I see that I have, like 374 unread items because some days, when I only have a few minutes to spare, I just need to check up on my besties (I’m talking to you, and you, and you, and you, and you and YOU!) and other days, when I have a little more free time, I can snuggle right in and read all the recipes and top 5 lists and Friday’s Letters on the interwebs.

Organize your reader, it will change your life.

And folks, this might not win me any bloggie awards but it’s all I haz for ya today.

Smooches!

it's ok...

2013-01-10T15:31:00.000-05:00

It’s ok….

That I was really happy when I realized it was Thursday & I could link up for “It’s OK Thursdays” because I really wanted to blog today, but my motivation was in the shitter…this is just what I needed.

That I am really, really stabby today even though I definitely should be floating on cloud 9 since I woke up to a facebook message (legit) from one of my favorite rock stars, bought myself 2 cute sweaters for 50% off at LOFT, and also got flirted with by a major cutie this morning. I don’t know what is wrong with me, but I will punch you in the face.

That I promised I was going to hit the ground running (literally and figuratively) in 2013 with my diet and exercise regime but instead I just had lunch….twice. Yes, I had two lunches. Go ahead and judge me.

That we still have not taken down the Christmas tree.

That my new VS Swim catalog came in the mail yesterday and I am lusting after everything, even though half of it wouldn’t even fit on my arm.

That I am seriously done with winter even though it’s getting up to almost 60 this weekend. I need sun on my face and a pool raft under my ass immed.

That I actually am not feeling too ‘ok’ with anything today so it’s pretty hard to make this list right now.

That mostly, I just want to go lay down under my desk and wait for somebody to come and hug me.

2013

2013-01-08T09:52:00.000-05:00

*eat at a food truck. or ten.

I started this “list” back in, like, November and that’s as far as I got. My one goal for this year, apparently, is to eat at a food truck. I’d best make that happen, right?

I had another list started in the back of my planner too. I’m the girl with multiple lists running at the same time, usually with many of the same tasks and bullet points on each one. If, on every list, I put “make duplicate list”, I’d probably feel marginally more accomplished because I’d get to cross that off for sure a few times a day whether anything else got finished or not. Let’s be honest, it usually doesn’t. Usually, the making of the list feels so taxing and overwhelming that I just quit while I’m ahead.

Or behind.

Whichever.

I’m not one for traditional “resolutions” either. Mostly because I know myself. I get pretty defiant in the face of strict rules, even if I make those rules myself. I’m a very “don’t tell me what to do!” person. Only child syndrome, I guess* so instead, I make pipe dream lists. Like that one I started up there about the food trucks. Food truck as pipe dream…..I dream big, people.

You might notice I’m also not very goal oriented. Man, I wish I was. If I were to make a list of character traits I wish I had, being goal oriented would be one of them. I’d also like to be more competitive. I’m pretty complacent…..either that, or else I get angry and jealous. You lost 15 pounds by eating right and working your butt off at the gym while my lazy ass sat here and grazed from a bottomless bag of cool ranch Doritos? Eff you. Attrcative, right? Everybody wants to be BFF with a jealous, unmotivated list addict, yes?

I haven’t blogged in like 11 days. Obviously, “be a better blogger” was not on my 2013 list, and I’m cool with that. There’s lots I miss. Also, lots I don’t miss. I kind of just need to veg out for awhile without constantly stressing myself with how long it’s been since I wrote a blog I wasn’t feeling just to keep up with The Joneses out here. I wish I had cute outfit posts, fun recipes and a recap of Ben’s killer 2^nd birthday party to share, but…well…

So for now, I’m just popping in to talk about The Bachelor for a minute.

I’m really pissed that I forgot it started last night until it was already half over. I’m an idiot. I even said, out loud, at 7:00 “omg I’m so excited! The Bachelor is on tonight!” and then Scott went to take Ben to bed and I put on Diners, Drive Ins & Dives and settled in for a night of food porn…..then Scott comes out at 9 and he’s all “isn’t your show on tonight?” and I was all “craaaaaaap!!” and I turned it on right in time to witness the crazy chick in the wedding dress. I can respect that brand of crazy, but she’s still not a front-runner in my book.

I am SO excited that Kacie B. is back again, although I’m a little concerned that this is making her look kind of desperate. She’s better than that. She really is. She’s so cute and so sweet….and of course I am watching all the upcoming scenes at the end and totally stressing out that I’m not seeing Kacie in any of them and I already hate Sean for that. But every year I fall for their crap. Their editing is pretty excellent. They probably knew everyone would be rooting for Kacie and so they didn’t put her in the previews on purpose to get everybody thinking she’s getting kicked off. Conspiracy theory. They get me every year. Except Ben’s year. I knew he was going to pick that Courtney skank all along.

ugh. Lame.

Anyway, I’m excited for Monday’s. Which is a good thing, cuz I’ll tell you what I am not excited about….Wednesdays & Thursdays. Am I the only one boycotting American Idol this year? I’m sorry. I will not watch Niki Minaj and Mariah Carey. I refuse.

Go Kacie B.!

That’s all I’ve got. Peace out.

*I was 16 by the time my oldest younger brother came along.

a very important letter...

2012-12-28T08:00:00.000-05:00

Dear Bennett,

Today, you are two years old.

My life before you is a blur of insignificance. On that snowy, surreal day 2 years ago, you instantly became the sun around which my whole world revolves and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

This little journey we are taking has not always been easy. In fact, at times, it has been a bit of a nightmare. I have so much sadness over the days I will never get to do over with you. Those days when my mind was just not quite right and I wasn’t able to understand how blessed and perfect my life had become, all because of YOU. All because of you, my love. But, this journey is ours alone and we will grow together and learn from each other and I can’t understand how I am lucky enough to call you mine. I am speechless and humbled and head over heels in love with every thing about you.

Little boy, I love the way you dance. You stomp your feet to the music and then lay down on the floor and get back up, you spin in circles and wave your hands and when I watch you, I am overcome with your lack of inhibition and I know that you are dancing out everything you’re feeling and it is pure joy and I could want nothing more for you than pure, unjaded, simple joy. I love when you sing from the backseat, or along with me when I sing you Twinkle Twinkle Little Star. Sometimes when I hear you sing, I think my heart might burst. I love more than anything when you are trying to fall asleep and you brush your fingers on my face, just to feel me and know I am there. Your touch is light and gentle like a whisper and sometimes it makes me cry because I know I can’t protect you forever and I know that these gentle moments will soon be replaced by rough housing and talking back and “Mom! Don’t kiss me in public!” and it’s not fair, because I am in love with you, baby, and you’re going to break your momma’s heart.

I am so proud of you. You are gentle and kind and smart and funny. Your sense of humor is dry and brilliant and your vocabulary is, although sometimes garbled, impressively expansive. You say “please” (“pweeeeez!”) and “Thank You!” (“kee kee!” or “tanks!”) and make your elders stop and look twice before they answer you “you’re welcome!” because what 2 year old boy has such delightful manners? And I beam with pride. Because you are mine. My one and only.

Sweetheart, you are my most precious gift. You will never know how all consuming my love is for you. Today is YOUR day, but it forever will also be mine because on your birthday, I became the person I was always meant to be, your momma. I will never be worthy of you, Love. I will always be humbled by your perfection. I will always be your cheerleader, your unyielding supporter. I will always love you more than you could ever believe, unconditionally.

On this day, and every day, I want to hear your unabashed giggles. I want to hear you sing from the depths of your heart and watch you dance with reckless abandon. I want to smother you in kisses and hugs and tickle you till you laugh so hard you get the hiccups. I want to surround you with a feeling of love and warmth and security so all encompassing that it will stay with you even after I am gone.

I love you, Bennett. I can’t say it enough. You are my everything.

Happy, Happy Birthday, Baby.

Love, Momma

the magic of Christmas...

2012-12-26T09:55:00.000-05:00

Is sitting on the living room floor in your pajamas, watching the person you love most in this entire universe, rip wildly through paper and bows to get to the tiniest of things; squishy slimy bugs, Buzz Lightyear pez dispensers, hot wheels. It is watching his face light up with overwhelmed joy and disbelief that these incredible treasures are ALL HIS!!! It is, of course, having the resources to provide these little, silly, superficial things that bring my sweet boy so much joy and wonder and this year, in the wake of Hurricane Sandy, I would remiss if I didn’t take note that there is magic in the fact that we have a roof over our heads to keep us dry and safe. But the most magical things for me are the memories of when I was little and would wake up at who knows what ungodly hour and sneak out to the living room to check and see if Santa had been there yet. When I would see my stocking stuffed full and overflowing with presents, my heart would race and I’d barely be able to contain myself….SANTA! WAS! HEREEEEEE!!!!!

That stocking. That lopsided, red velvet and green satin contraption that my mom made for me was always one of my most cherished possessions. Last year, while searching high and low for a stocking for Ben and coming up short everywhere I looked, it came to me out of nowhere…of course I wasn’t going to find the perfect stocking for Ben at the mall….at Target….at Pottery Barn. The only perfect stocking for Ben was already in my garage, sewn together with all the love his Grandma Hallie was saving up for the day she’d get to hold him. She never got to hold him, but every year at Christmas, when he sits on the floor with that stocking in his little lap overflowing with presents, I will know that they are together. And THAT is Christmas magic.

We have a winner for the Kohl’s gift card giveaway!!!!! Congratulations, Skye!!! Now go buy your new knife set!!! I can’t have you slicing and dicing with dull knives, woman.

a Rafflecopter giveaway

the most wonderful time...

2012-12-21T08:44:00.000-05:00

Today, I'm just giving you a little quicky and linking up with beautiful Kristen to share our Tinyprints 2012 holiday card.
This weird little blogging world has brough so many amazing people into my life, given me so many fun opportunities and has taught me so much over the last year and a half. I am thankful for YOU. Yes, you.
I hope your holidays are filled with health, happiness, abundance, joy, yummy food, peace and most of all, love.

p.s. have you entered the Kohl's $50 gift card giveaway yet???

let's hang out with Beverly today, mkay??

2012-12-20T08:37:00.000-05:00

I was up last night way past my bed time (which shamefully is 9:00 these days) at our "holiday party" and uh...I'm a little fuzzy in the head this morning....nothing that stuffing my face with coffee and carbs won't cure by lunch time, but fuzzy nonetheless....so I am especially excited to turn things over to the lovely Beverly today, cuz I'm sure she does not go out and do irrisponsible things like stay up too late on a wednesday doing The Macarena with her co-workers and drinking ~~eight~~ three glasses of wine....

*******************************

My name is Beverly, I'm a twenty something photographer from “The Bootheel of Missouri”. I am the owner & photographer of Photography by Beverly. I've been snapping pictures as far back as I can remember. I think I got my first camera when I was 6-7 years old. It was a very small Kodak film camera, and I would take pictures of EVERYTHING. Now when I say everything, I literally mean EVERYTHING. I think I even got a few pictures of our toilet. LOL! Yes, I'm serious.

My love then was just for the photos themselves, I didn't really understand the whole concept of actually taking a photograph. As I got older, I started taking photography classes, and kept upgrading cameras. At this point, I just loved the idea of changing a few settings on a camera, and moving some stuff around, and coming out with a great photo. (Taking a good picture, is MUCH more than just that, but you get the basic idea!)

My son, Brayden, was born in August of '09. This is when I REALLY got into photography, still no plans to make it a business though. I mean, who can resist taking pictures of a sweet innocent newborn? Especially your own newborn bundle of sweetness? You just can't!

I had no intentions of turning this into a business, what-so-ever. I would just post the pictures I took on Facebook showing off my new bouncing baby boy! After about two weeks, I started getting messages on Facebook like crazy. “Your pictures are soo good. Will you take some pictures for me?” or “You should really look into starting a business out of this! You're really good.” I put lots of thought, and research into it.
I started taking pictures for people, just as a hobby, but I soon realized that this could turn into a career for me. After a number of long nights of no sleep, being on the internet, and reading books until 2 or 3 AM, I decided to figure out what I needed to do to make myself legal, and have a business. OH MY! Was I in over my head. There is soo much paperwork involved, but I won't go into too much detail about that! After about two weeks, I finished up everything I needed and on October 19, 2012, I officially launched my business -Photography by Beverly.

This is just a short glimpse of my story, but I would love to hear yours. Send me an e-mail to beverly@photobybeverly.com, and be sure to check out my blog and follow at www.photobybeverly.com. I can't wait to hear from you and thanks for reading!

***********************

Isn't she the sweetest?? And can you even handle how adorable Brayden is? That hair! That face! I die. SO, while I am snoring under my desk today and fantasizing about bacon, egg & cheese sandwiches, you should go show my girl Beverly some love. Cuz I said so...since you guys always do what I say. Duh. And since I don't have the energy to fight you on this today, clearly.

You should also not forget to enter my $50 Kohl's gift card giveaway!!!! you can do that here.

leavin' on a jet plane...

2012-12-19T08:52:00.000-05:00

Well, technically, we’re not leaving….we already left…and came back! And we kind of snuck away without much of a warning which is where I disappeared to all last week.

We went on a quick little jaunt down to Hilton Head to see my best friend in all the world. It was Ben’s very first trip on an airplane and I’d like to say he knew exactly what was going on and was totally stoked about it, but alas, he had no clue. Also, he was still pretty sick so the flight down was slightly apocolyptic….to put it mildly. The other passengers might have wanted to toss us out the emergency exit doors with no parachutes, but the flight attendant took pity on us and offered my demonic screamer his first pair of wings anyway. And I cried. And snapped a million pictures. Cuz I’m a sap like that.

Once back on the ground in Savannah and settled into a good snooze in the back seat, things slowly started to return to normal…whatever that is...and my heart just filled up with love and overflowed for being right next to my best friend again….my home base.

It was a great, long, not entirely relaxing but thoroughly delightful weekend and I’ve got lots more to share including why I am obsessed with World Market, how my kid loves dogs SO hard and the tragedy that is why he will never have one and also, how I am moving to Hilton head come hell or high water.

In the mean time, have you guys entered my $50 Kohl’s gift card giveaway yet???? It’s a good one! Get on that!

expect great things...for yourself!! Kohl's gift card giveaway!

2012-12-18T10:52:00.000-05:00

The Holidays are a hectic time for lots of us. Lots of running around, lots of maxing out the credit cards, cold winter air, hot, stuffy department stores, hordes of people knocking into you with their shopping bags stacked all up their arms, pressing obligations, zero time to get it all done and in the end, you might wind up with a pretty ugly pair of slippers and, like, a sparkly reindeer sweater or something when what you really wanted were some pretty earrings….a new purse….some running shoes….a fancy shmancy new crockpot.

I know, especially lately when our hearts are so heavy with the unthinkable violence in our own backyard, that this Christmukkah will be about soaking in as much magical time as possible with those of us that we hold most dear in our hearts. Those cherished memories we make baking cookies with our babies for their classroom parties, opening our gifts in our jammies, hanging lights, stuffing our faces with latkes or sipping hot chocolate (spiked or not…your preference…I think we all know what I would choose thank you very much…ahem…) under a blanket on the couch with our Loves mean so much more than material things ever could ….ever.

But….and there is ALWAYS a “but”……

Isn’t it fun to go shopping??? And isn’t especially fun, in a season where everything you do is for others, to go shopping for yourself for once??? And isn’t it super duper majorly even the MOST fun when you get to go shopping for yourself and get an outrageous bargain?? And lets all take a second here, take a few deep breaths into a paper bag, have sip of wine and imagine going shopping, for yourself, scoring an unreal bargain and getting it for FREEEEEEE cuz you won yourself a gift card from your favorite blog!!!!!! That’s me, by the way. This is your favorite blog. Duh.

Moving on…I know that’s a lot to take in, but I am here to grant you one of your Christmas wishes…cuz I KNOW one of your wishes was a little shopping spree at Kohl’s…and if it wasn’t, why are we friends?

I scored THIS cutie cutie Lauren Conrad top on my last bargain shopping bonanza and ladies, lemme tell you, it is fabulous. You can dress it up or dress it down and it is super comfy and flattering. Everything you could ever ask for in a top if you want my opinion on the matter. Good old LC comes through again...

As I am sure you already know, Kohl’s is pretty much my happy place. I go in there, and, like magic, I come out with $300 worth of fantastic things and wind up spending like 1/3 of that. it really is magic. And it makes me happy. And it’s going to make you happy too cuz the fabulous people at Kohl’s sent me a $50 gift card to give away to one of you gorgeous little things…so git ta gittin’ why don’t ya??

Merry Christmukkah, my little shopping fools!

p.s. this giveaway will run through midnight on Christmas. The winner will be posted the day after Christmas. Good luck!!!!!

a Rafflecopter giveaway

one more time, with feeling...

2012-12-10T08:30:00.000-05:00

So...I am super torn right now re: diet and exercise. On the one hand, as I’ve mentioned many a time, I feel gross. I am sluggish, I eat nothing but crap, I drink too much wine (and sometimes vodka if the wine is out. there, I said it.) and I haven’t seen the inside of my gym in 2 months. An object at rest stays at rest and blah blah blah (Shout Out! What’s up Sheldon Cooper?? Ba-Zing-Ga!)…

I want to feel better, I do, with all my heart and soul…..but then two little voices inside my head are all “but it’s the holidays. Are you insane? Just unbutton your pants, let your gut breathe and drink till you’re jolly you lazy little thing. Exercise and Self Restraint are what January is for!” and then voice #2 chimes in “But the Mayans say the world is ending in 2 weeks anyway. Do you really want to spend your last days on earth eating sprouts and exercising?? Eff that noise. Just eff it in the A!”

Obviously, I do not really believe The Mayan thing, but one never really knows, does she? And as you can probably tell, I’ll basically cash in on any excuse, no matter how absurd, to eat a steady diet of french fries with ranch and boxed wine. I’m klassy that way.

What I’m saying is, there is basically zero chance of me clombering my fat ass back on the wagon before Mr. Claus arrives. I have thought about it…..lots. This morning, I even looked up what time my gym opens and made an imaginary itinerary of my day so that I could squeeze in a workout before work….of course, I’d have to get up at FOUR THIRTY IN THE MORNING to make that happen and if I’m being honest, there’s a better chance that The Mayans are right about Decmeber 21^st so….there’s that.

BUT, after Christmas? I’m afraid it’s back on. I am both hating the thought and weirdly excited. I need this. I don’t know how I am going to stay upright all day when I have to get up at 4:30 in the GD morning, I don’t know how I am going to refrain from chewing off my own arm before 10am when I am forcing myself to eat nothing but egg whites & twigs and most of all, I don’t know how I am going to function without my nightly binge on cheap pinot but, guys? I’m on the cusp of a very, very nasty birthday ( I am not naming numbers, but if you feel you must make guesses, don’t say them out loud. Or I will not hesitate to full on ugly cry. and cut you.) And if I approach this birthday looking like a beluga whale…

(you’re welcome)

well, I’m afraid it might just send me over the edge. I already decided all I want for gifts is another round of Botox and a fat syringe of Radiesse in my marionette lines….I’m not handling this aging thing gracefully.

So….I don’t know the point of this post. Mostly I think it’s to whine about how I really hate dieting and exercising but I have to do it and I don’t want to and wah wah wah…but maybe it’s also a little bit so I have a sense of accountability? Like here I am, telling the world (population: 145) that I feel gross and want to feel better, that I am getting older than I ever thought I would be and I want to change my attitude about that and prove to myself that I really can do this once and for all and maybe slide gracefully into this next decade of my life (Gulp. Vomit. Gulp.) instead of dragging in, all lethargic, out of breath and pissy. It’s no small project. Which is precisely why I think I need to spend the next couple of weeks gearing up by eating as many onion rings as possible….

And wine…pass that box of vino, would ya?

p.s. I am kidding about the onion rings, but I am not kidding about the New Years Resolution.

p.p.s. sort of

p.p.s.s. what's the hold up ont hat wine, huh?