tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31883143006193562242024-11-01T11:14:53.388+00:00<center>random thoughts trying to find a purpose</center>Unknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger97125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3188314300619356224.post-72057473471982531782023-05-18T13:41:00.000+01:002023-05-18T13:42:00.153+01:00

Ordered this as a present for Christmas.Christmas morning came. Has he been? He has!Muuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuummmmmmmmmyyyyy!!!! Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaddy!!!! Can I get up yet?Of course, schnuckums. Iiiiiiittttt&#39;sssss Chriiiiiiiiiiiiiisstmaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaas.So there we are. Half past three in the morning. I can&#39;t get no sleep.Schnuckums picks up their stocking with the aid of the

Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3188314300619356224.post-31737864237722969662016-06-28T14:21:00.000+01:002016-06-28T14:21:55.861+01:00

Not like that. I've supported England a long while now and ever since the first tournament I can remember - the 1982 World Cup - we have succeeded in not winning a single trophy. I was a Liverpool fan briefly, mainly down to receiving a scratchy hand-me-down jersey and they finished 5th. The following season my Dad stepped in to convert me to Watford, his team and they were

Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3188314300619356224.post-36025721421558103492016-02-04T17:44:00.000+00:002016-02-04T17:45:25.477+00:00

You know when you're having a chat with someone and you're both basically stating facts that you&nbsp;already&nbsp;know, you know the other person already knows and it's a bonding, pre-going-over-the-top experience which soothes the pain of the massive amount of work which is suddenly going to land on your tiny plate? And then you say, "Ha! They're probably leaving it until the last minute as

Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3188314300619356224.post-51260468860980620632016-01-06T00:33:00.000+00:002016-01-06T00:35:01.222+00:00

You're gently perusing the cupboard hoping for a biscuit. Perhaps a half-eaten bag of crisps. It's forty minutes until dinner and there's no way you can make it. Then you happen upon&nbsp; A Christmas mirage.&nbsp; A Christmas miracle,&nbsp; A Christmas Miragicle: A forgotten box of spies! But then you get all middle aged and PC and you find this: &nbsp; Briefly you wrestle with

Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3188314300619356224.post-18237063658017822982016-01-03T02:30:00.001+00:002016-01-03T02:48:03.124+00:00

Twelve hours into the New Year and I was inwardly congratulating myself on not having switched on the TV, thereby not having exposed myself to any eye chewing gum; viewing for the sake of it rather than watching because I want to watch something in particular. The congratulations were short-lived when I realised that both my wife and I were side-by-side, phone-in-hand, most likely both on

Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3188314300619356224.post-70097013412164039132015-12-06T15:33:00.001+00:002015-12-06T15:33:09.910+00:00

My child arrived just the other day, Came to the world in an emergency way, I&#39;ve had a plane to catch, bills to pay, Hope she&#39;s learned to sleep while I&#39;ve been away. Somehow I doubt it, I&#39;m only gone two days, she thinks &quot;I&#39;m going to sleep like Mum, Dad, you know I&#39;m going to sleep like Mum.&quot; And next door&#39;s cat&#39;s on the wander, doesn&#39;t

Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3188314300619356224.post-21419182573019076322015-11-10T05:30:00.003+00:002015-11-10T09:52:35.229+00:00

I don't remember if I actually heard this on the radio or whether it was on a sketch show. I like to think I imagined it and therefore came up with it myself but I can't claim that. Whatever the truth is, it didn't matter greatly and if I'm infringing someone's copyright then I whole heartedly apologise and will send you a banker's draft for 50% of all profits I make from this post. It was a

Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3188314300619356224.post-49575780271109887902015-11-10T04:40:00.002+00:002015-11-10T09:54:11.789+00:00

"Hi, how are ya?" You'll soon learn to respond with a similar greeting but whatever you do don't answer the question; if you do, you'll quickly get used to the spot-the-tourist smirk and you'll never be able to quite escape the feeling that 10% has just been added to your bill or the suspicion that a carrier bag can't really cost 70 cents. But you can't question it and you were the one who

Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3188314300619356224.post-53626594465736733012015-09-29T12:10:00.000+01:002015-09-29T12:10:23.700+01:00

Ladies and gentlemen of the class of '99 Wear sunscreen If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it The long-term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists Whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable Than my own meandering experience, I will dispense this advice now Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth, oh, never mind You will not

Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3188314300619356224.post-33741907163372461932015-08-08T23:23:00.001+01:002015-08-08T23:23:06.139+01:00

Struck a chord today when I realised this is it. THIS is it. I suppose it started yesterday with the office email, detailing my whereabouts for the immediate future. A series of acronyms to indicate that I think you should know, but I don&#39;t want you to have the impression that I&#39;m going to spend a second longer than I have to by telling you. Silently everywhere, email settings apply the

Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3188314300619356224.post-7512537009319637202015-06-08T23:13:00.001+01:002015-06-08T23:20:07.920+01:00

Intro music: something sort of cool but not really. You think you recognise it from somewhere, wrack your brain for not very long but long enough to annoy and then you realise it's from when you caught the beginning of the same program a week ago. New music. No better. Does little to distract from the display of white-teethed, hairless, overly preened, fake-tanned androgynes engaged in an

Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3188314300619356224.post-54237443592384998932015-06-02T18:47:00.001+01:002015-06-02T20:08:16.098+01:00

So, Wonky, you're nearly 18 months old and the time is not only flying, it's jet propelled. These regular letters to you were going to be every three months or so. Ten months since the last one, you'll most likely be in school by the time I write the next. It's not for a lack of trying or laziness, it's just that life is so full-on now that you're in the world. Thanks, Elton. I could try

Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3188314300619356224.post-61760380815352356922015-05-30T11:42:00.000+01:002015-05-30T11:47:43.321+01:00

I awake with a certain amount of excitement this morning. Not only because it's Saturday; we get one of them every seven days or so and the weekend dance is over twelve hours old. Not just because it's sunny; don't get me wrong I enjoy a bright, blue-skied 7am as much as anybody but it takes a very dark, overcast mizzly morning to dampen my demeanour. No, this morning I awake with the

Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3188314300619356224.post-41764230265095071922015-04-17T22:36:00.000+01:002015-04-17T22:36:52.860+01:00

Life's hectic.&nbsp; Some form of normal service may resume shortly. While you are waiting, why not relive some of the good old days by reading some of the earlier gems?&nbsp; 2012 was a year to remember.&nbsp; Why not have a peruse? Thank you for your patience. MG.C

Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3188314300619356224.post-58635726395876642602014-09-26T13:16:00.001+01:002014-09-26T22:41:37.062+01:00

I really really want to like golf. That's perhaps an exaggeration. I really really want to be able to appreciate golf to have a conversation about it, not necessarily like it, but enough interest to not switch off whenever it comes on TV or up in conversation. Just a couple of weeks back I was in the Bosun and the conversation got around to 'foot-tee'. Now I haven't checked the spelling but it

Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3188314300619356224.post-28962020460922303342014-09-09T14:43:00.001+01:002014-09-09T14:43:16.103+01:00

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 1 1 12 13 4

Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3188314300619356224.post-17207511958286983102014-08-06T09:56:00.001+01:002014-08-06T12:46:32.419+01:00

Dear Loops, Time flies. It's four months since the last one of these. Four months since there was a collective aww from the female readership and four months since the male contingent looked away sharply, pretending they had been cutting onions. You've continued to accumulate statistics and I'm still to retain any. All I know is you've continued on your percentile path, that everyone is

Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3188314300619356224.post-69085634681185552612014-08-02T11:51:00.000+01:002014-09-26T13:24:04.309+01:00

I had the pleasure of dealing with the fine folks at Argos this week. They asked me to submit a review of my recently purchased fire guard. Unfortunately, they have decided to reject my review so I'll post it here in the hope that anyone Googling "BabyStart Extending Child Safety Fireguard" will come across this post and be suitably advised. Here is a picture of what it might look like if you

Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3188314300619356224.post-85844826000099057692014-05-29T00:40:00.001+01:002014-09-26T13:24:09.308+01:00

Ah la danse de vacances, my uncoordinated friend, how wonderful it is to see you. I take it you've brought with you the siblings of stress: Panic Packing, Awaiting Taxi and the very evil, Taxi Awaiting? Will the sun come out with a necessary pint as we knowingly contemplate the unknown answer to the equation of B+12h where h is a unit of time spent in a metal tube and B is five-month old baby

Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3188314300619356224.post-70493621869950385752014-04-23T08:40:00.001+01:002014-04-23T08:43:08.297+01:00

Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3188314300619356224.post-12126792875929125132014-03-25T11:15:00.000+00:002014-03-25T11:15:12.323+00:00

The bus is half-empty with most of my fellow voyagers enjoying the rarity of a double seat to themselves. I am occupying the second best seat, just beyond the rear doors, slightly raised to allow a full panorama of the equivalent of the sun rising on a beautiful day: leaving Wigley Road, Hanworth to head for Feltham Police Station. Life does not get better than this. A corpulent, aromatic lady

Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3188314300619356224.post-67399591684317620092014-03-24T18:16:00.000+00:002014-03-25T10:20:49.490+00:00

Dear Loops, Where on earth did that go? We were counting in weeks; then months and now it's fractions. Somehow you are now a quarter! I'm not really up on all the percentile information which most would agree is a bit strange for me as usually I'm the one doing the math. All I know is that you're doing well, growing as expected and that you're tall. No surprise there then. You're also

Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3188314300619356224.post-40528711375874546062013-10-18T09:37:00.001+01:002013-10-18T09:37:08.927+01:00

I know what you&#39;re thinking. MG.C, you mm have to be aah one of the most mm tolerant people I&#39;ve never met aah. Mm you befriended Banka Barrister Johnson mm and went so far as mm to propose marriage mm between your fictitious grandchildren mm. The one thing mm that nobody would mm say about you is that mm you are intolerant. Mm. And you&#39;d be right. Aah. I&#39;d consider myself aah

Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3188314300619356224.post-55839051864348425252013-09-27T11:03:00.000+01:002013-09-27T11:04:10.581+01:00

1.5 Minutes of Your Life That You Won't See Again* *this is the correct amount of time that you should waste reading the drivel that follows. This figure is accurately calculated by this blogger's own reading speed, coupled with the correct intonation and stumbling over the complex alliteration in the fourth paragraph. My phone rang during the fifth paragraph and therefore for authenticity,

Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3188314300619356224.post-82611196030824347022013-09-27T10:04:00.001+01:002013-09-27T10:53:50.560+01:00

Dear Loops, Jeez you gave us a scare, pretending you've got a Kango hammer without telling us. Still, you know there's nothing we like to do more than visit as many acronyms in as short a space of time as possible. QMH, KHMU and TGE in the space of 24 hours is something of a new record for us. Oh, AOK, too. That's the important one. You've also taught us some invaluable lessons whilst

Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0