Jessica's thoughts

Nada...

2013-05-19T15:53:00.001-07:00

Oh my I have nothing to say.
Blog topics aren't coming so easily today.
Been a productive day.

Winds of change

2013-05-18T20:23:00.001-07:00

Tomorrow has changed how I feel about today
Thinking about what it will be like
Already missing this day
Already missing this place

I see your confidence and waiver
It's nice to breathe you in
Refreshing like a glass of ice water on the hot days.

The what ifs aren't that scary
The wind blows and I feel the calm sneak in
Happiness is in that wind and that is something consistent

Everything is so fluid
Always changing
But always interesting
Faith and love
________________________________

Gonna wrap it up mostly tomorrow. Sounds like I'm sleeping on the couch again.. Snore snore..
Love to all
Goodnight

You are so...

2013-05-17T21:25:00.001-07:00

I think it's important above all to try to be as honest as you can with yourself. Let's face it, we all at some time or another try to push ourselves to believe something that isn't true or maybe not right because you don't feel like you should or it wouldn't be widely accepted.

It's a difficult thing sometimes to decide that there is nothing wrong with who you are or what you're feeling when you feel pushed in a different direction.

I am not winning many parenting awards, but if there are two things I hope my kids learn from me, they are... Be yourself always and true to yourself first... And love with your whole heart, even if it gets broken a lot.

Message to the girl that means more to me than any other in the world: I'm not always there to hug you and say it's gonna be okay, but I promise everything will be. It used to bug me when Gary would say this, but there is no other way it can be. And isn't that really so true. You just Be you and hold tight to that. You're fabulous just the way you are.--millions and millions

Last minute...

2013-05-17T21:00:00.001-07:00

Okay went out with the girls.. Decided I was too tired to party much. This has been overall a busy but good week. I am posting this to hit before midnight Tommy. Love you

Orange...

2013-05-16T17:53:00.001-07:00

Yeah.. Not so good at the improv thing. The black box has a two class parent and child improv, and of course, in support I decided Zacheriah and I would do it. I know I figured I'd rock at it too, but nope. I find myself trying to think about what to do or say next and it makes it impossible for me to enjoy what's going on around me. I like watching others much more than doing.

I wish I could speak bird. Do you think all birds can understand each other? Or do you think it's like speaking a different language and they can learn it? Or do you thinks like women and men and they can understand each other but they don't listen?
Speaking of this.. Do you think all frogs understand each others croaks? Just the thoughts swarming my never slowing mind. We're sitting on the porch and I am enjoying the sounds and company but yeah... Always thinking

The other day I'm driving down the street and a squirrel seriously stops to stare me down. I had to completely stop.. I really don't know if it was a suicide attempt, but it was like for a moment we shared eye contact and he was daring me..

Yeah going to enjoy my time now.. Love you.. Xoxo.. Millions and infinity

Bacon and Eggs. . .

2013-05-15T15:30:00.001-07:00

When I was young, I remember my grandpa being the whisker guy. He actually had hurt feelings for a while when I was young, because I called him a weirdo and wouldn't let him hold me. He liked to whisker me and that hurt my precious skin. As the years went on though, I believe he became to me the most important lesson I'd ever know. NO not that I need to eat bacon and eggs every single day, although he did try to force that on me a time or two.

I remember thinking he'd be with me forever. Funny how when you grow older and people pass away, you see things in others that remind you of them. In a way I guess, that means he's with me somewhere always. My grandpa's attitude was very kind and gentle and he was sure of himself, yet never conceited. He was a quiet man, until you got him going. Some of his stories I never got tired of hearing. He was helpful and generous and smart and just all around a great guy. I remember how he'd look at me when I would get onto a topic he thought was crazy, which was a lot. He'd give me that half grin and just nod with so much love in his eyes. I never one time questioned his love for me throughout the years. The funny thing is, no one did. They just knew he loved them; he was the best kind of love. Sometimes when I find people that remind me of him in the slightest way, I can't help but like them. I hope that as I grow old, I have this same type affect on the people that love me. I hope they just know.

It's no surprise to a lot of you that my parents divorced when I was already an adult. I can not pretend that this was easy on me. I felt like the child had become the parent very quickly. I was sitting at grandpa's table in tears over the whole thing and just confused and he said to me something like (I won't quote, cuz i'm sure I won't do him justice) People are who they are, and they change over the years, and either they grow together or sometimes they grow apart. All you can do is love them. You don't want to try to change their minds, cuz they might hold you accountable. If I hadn't had that man through those years in my life, I honestly don't know who I'd be today. He kept me grounded. Always a rock and always someone I could depend on. I will certainly miss that guy forever.

BTW guys - he did tell me once when I was calling him for carpentry advice, "You are the son I never had." @dad, terry, cris and patrick ;)

Pets and feelings and such . . .

2013-05-14T16:07:00.001-07:00

Why do I have no pets?

Well in a word...Gary
I have had pets in the past, but Gary is seriously against the idea, so yeah.

Also though, I have Zach, so do I really need a pet? He's hard enough to take care of. Whenever I start getting crazy and looking at dogs and going all gooey, Gary is quick to remind me his feelings. I guess this is something that I can live without. I'm not that tender and nurturing anyhow really. Ask the kids..I do love them, but I'm not really really affectionate usually.

Today I was thinking about perspective. Everything is relative (actually, Gavin Degraw helped me think of this - Relative) It's interesting how people all have their own lives and their own thoughts that could be receiving messages completely different than you're meaning it to be. I'm sure I have talked about this before, but I figure since it's part of my thoughts today....you're hearing it again (or reading)

Lets take the weather for instance...I was talking to a friend today about rain and how much I enjoy good warm rains..some people would interpret the rain as a bad weather day for some reason, but I try to always look at it is - - if today isn't what I want, then there is something to look forward to - - tomorrow. This is true with a lot of things. I also wish more people would think with the cup half full mentality, but I haven't always been like this either. I used to play softball, and it would annoy the heck out of me if games were rained out. - this is how my mind works, but I just jumped to - man I miss softball. Jenn - you and I need to play catch soon..

and now my mind jumped again to, do you think that anyone really knows who they want to be or where they want to be - and i don't mean young teenagers that think they know for a minute. I think people like to pretend, but the growing up thing never really ends. I am starting to think that no one has anything ever figured out for real. I was listening to my baby girl this weekend stressing about her problems, and I started thinking about how I am so not that different. I'm not depressed or upset by any of this, just think that I'm figuring out something some others already may know. I love the day by day...I love the moments and that is awesome.

I also LOVE you...all of you..love is so easy
Millions - infinity - xoxo

"Hay Shaker". . .

2013-05-13T18:49:00.001-07:00

Laura - Intellectual property is worth only friendship to me. Give me a true idea and I'll hug you when I see you. I would love to write something fresh, but I have plenty of thoughts mulling around in my head that I could blog about. I just figure having someone else's idea might let me know what you want to know about me, or maybe give me some freshness that I didn't already possess.

Congrats to my cousins JD and Wendy on the pregnancy. I can't believe that I'm gonna have so many babies around me in a few short months. I love babies - also happy to send them back home, but I sure enjoy loving on them. JD - Can you believe we're gonna be so close? Wow!

I sure like people. All kinds..For me, Shelbyville has been full of different kinds of people. Someone called themselves a "hay shaker" to me today and that had me baffled. (For those of you that are like me and have no clue what that is, i was told it means farmer). I am still not really sure if a farmer minds being called that, so if so, I am not calling anyone anything. I guess I am not a country girl after all; not that I don't like all the country people, I just feel kinda foreign at times. I was worried about today - being on my own for the time in IT, but really it wasn't that bad. I have found that there are a few people I can count on to make things feel a little smoother when there is turbulence. For that I am thankful.

Uninstalled the GO SMS app today - I think I've only been getting about half of a conversation during texting, so if you think I'm ignoring you or not answering questions during our conversation...it could be that I seriously haven't gotten the question.

Came home today to my awesome new crossbow all put together. Although, now I think Gary likes it too, cuz he was talking about building me a wall mount. I just hope it's a good new hobby that I can get into.

12 days until the move. Got a lot to do before then, but I only have plans this Friday night..so packing Sat and Sun, so don't call me and don't ask. I have gotten in enough trouble for not packing lately.

Tomorrow - I will explain why I have no pets..

Love to you - Millions... infinity....xoxo

Let's talk..

2013-05-12T18:37:00.001-07:00

Today I'm feeling slightly bored with blogging. I would like your help to come up with some blog topics. What do you want me to talk about? Of course I'll talk about your topic, but add my own opinions and thoughts. I'm telling you this because if ask me to talk about something controversial, I will be most likely taking a side. I would like you all to respond to this blog or on whichever Avenue I post this and I will do my best to cover your topic at some point, unless I completely don't want to in which case I won't. Okay..

I love you all, and hope for a peaceful night for all. Xoxo

Baby Ima want'chu...

2013-05-11T14:44:00.001-07:00

Baby Ima want you.. Baby Ima need you.. You're the only one I care enough to hurt about..

Yeah was loving some Bread today.. And why.. I Dunno.. Not really knowing why
:-).. Anyway another weekend half way over, but Zacheriah and Gary did some packing today while Jenn, my brother and I built some shed doors.. Isn't it strange how some of the simplest projects can be completely complicated? I've had much bigger projects that were much easier.. Hopefully mom is happy with them. Mistakes and all they look pretty good.

Cast party tonight at the Hutchins house. Be there or be.. Um.. Square.. Figured I should get this out there first..

14 days... And then we'll have this move over with. I think we're feeling much lighter as we keep giving things away.

Jenn slept with me last night.. Is it weird that I'd rather sleep next to her than anyone? Sorry to my boys.. It's a comfortable full type of sleep.. And it's nice to wake and chat with my sweet girl.. It's like having someone completely get you and I love that. I think she might be the only person that really does fully.

Anyway.. Millions and millions.. To infinity and beyond.. Xoxo.. And I love you to all the rest of you..

Kramer Lumber. . .

2013-05-10T19:36:00.002-07:00

There are things I am going to miss about Lebanon for sure. (14 days until we're full time Greenwood residents) It is great that I can simply ask Todd Ransom to help me out, and he's all over that. I vote that people of Lebanon not forget the small town feel and make sure they're shopping at Kramer Lumber for whatever they can get there. Thanks, Todd, for everything you do. I'm not sure that they're going to like being mixed with the rest of this crazy blog topic, but I must say - I have a lot of friends and people I don't even know reading this blog, and if I can help throw some business to someone who deserves it, I will.

Okay - so. . . Jenn is home now for the weekend, which is awesome, but as always it's another busy one. Tomorrow we're replacing momma's shed doors with my bro and then going to a cast party in the evening. It is so nice to have two of the three of them with me though.

So today I decided to check the weekend weather and came across this story - http://www.weather.com/news/science/nature/large-rats-eating-louisiana-20130509

Seriously how disgusting, and people are eating them. Okay so I'd much rather eat just about anything I can think of than a RAT. I don't know why I feel this way but I guess I think they are horrible yucky creatures. It's times like that when I think - is there something wrong with me, or is it that there is something wrong with everyone who would eat a rat...and then my thoughts went to, I wouldn't even want to kiss someone that ate a Rat..I know but really. . . and then I thought about - that brings new meaning to you are what you eat..and laughed a little...Yeah these thoughts really do roll around in my crazy head.

Yeah, so gonna enjoy my girl, but wasn't about to miss tonight's blog.

Thanks again to Kramer Lumber for everything.

Love you all..xoxo

Whatsamawhoo....

2013-05-09T13:48:00.002-07:00

Best kept secret of Windows 7 - I know - I know - most of you are gonna be like, really Jess - but some of you will be amazed. I have actually been so surprised lately of all the people that do NOT know this exists. Ready for this:

This is the Snipping tool...First click on your Windows button and then Click on the snipping tool and then guess what - you can take pictures of whatever you want on your screen and post it into email or save it as a picture on your pc. You can also use highlight features and a pen..and then just do CTRL C and CTRL V functions to paste it into whatever you want (Word/Email).

Okay now on to a few of the things I want to do before I die - there are many more of these but I decided I'd list a few of the more outrageous ones:

1. Skydiving with Jenn this summer
2. Hopefully ZipLine in Catalina this summer
3. Shoot my new crossbow (hopefully this weekend)
4. Finish writing a book - NO more starts..need a finish
5. Spend the night in a haunted castle - preferably someplace in like Ireland and with Jennifer of course, cuz she'd enjoy that more than anyone I know and Gary would like it too I think.
6. Kiss a dolphin - no swimming with them..just a simple kiss.
7. Vampire bite..maybe someday

Now here's a few of the outrageous things I've already done:

1. Ride in an actual really trolley - hanging off of it like the locals do
2. Get punched in the face (cuz i wanted to)
3. Start a business (wasn't on my list - but it's been a great experience)
4. See flying fish
5. Rock climbing
6. Paint Ball

As much as many of you know me and know that I love CA..I do love California, but I do not like getting into the ocean..on either side mind You...I have a GIGANTIC fear of what I can't see under me..I do not like the idea of predators or whatever swimming with me in there, and if any of them can smell my fear they will certainly eat me. So I have no desire to swim with anything in the ocean or to surf or anything like that. I know I'm a huge wimp and maybe someday that will change, but I doubt it.

I heard somewhere a long time ago that snails can sleep for three years at a time. I don't know if that is true, but I have a feeling I could sleep a few days anyway. Wonder how a snail lives without food and water that long?? Snails are slimy and I wouldn't want to eat them, but I think their existence is very cool...

yeah..so - this is me..signing off..have a great tomorrow..and remember that somewhere someone loves you, maybe more than you know.

Jimmy . . .

2013-05-08T15:24:00.002-07:00

So. . . June is gonna be interesting. Zach's at his dad's house and has a mission trip in the middle of the month, so he'll be gone for almost an entire month. I knew it would happen eventually but I believe a whole month without my baby might almost kill me. Gary on the other hand will probably be rejoicing.

on to some of my random thoughts. . .

Why do boys stink so much? I mean really smell even with deodorant EVEN when you buy them the new and improved clinically proven kinds that are like 8 dollars a piece. I swear I don't think that boy sweats as much as I do, yet he stinks - and it's a weird yucky stink. And how can someone you love so much smell so bad? I would think that if you love them that much their stink would roll right off, but NOPE..

Two flights of stairs to get into this apartment might kill me. Especially when I have to carry stuff up. I am so glad we're hiring movers cuz urrgghh..Just bringing my ass up those stairs is enough for me. I was thinking of rigging a pulley system over the balcony for when we go shopping.

Gonna try the Arni's next door tonight with my wonderful family. JD and Wendy (cousins) and My bro and sis will be there too, and my Lucy. I do think that part of moving is going to be AWESOME.

Gary bought me the cutest coolest little Android speaker today. He just got here and gave him to me. I think his name will be Jimmy. I think I love him. Not Gary - I do love him...but my new Jimmy. He's got some awesome sound, too. I can't say enough about Google stuff, love might not be a strong enough word...Seriously!

Love to all of you though...xoxo..millions and infinity..

Popcorn . . .

2013-05-07T16:12:00.002-07:00

I don't usually have happy feelings when something no so great happens to someone else, except of course, when I feel like it's a karma thing. There are some people on this planet that do bad things to others all the time, and when something turns their lives upside down, sometimes I smile. There are also people that believe they are something great, and when the world shows them that they aren't as great as they think they are - I think that's kinda great too. Don't get me wrong, I don't want anything horrible to happen to anyone, but there are those moments when you're like, yeah, it's 'bout time you got yours. I do believe in that ying and yang of life, so when I do something to hurt someone I always think about how that could come back on me.

Did you look up at the sky this afternoon? FANTASTIC. I do love this time of year. The temperature is perfect and the sky is blue with my puffy clouds.

I think I know why I don't like popcorn so much..I think it's hard to eat. Sounds silly maybe, but I really don't like how airy it is and it's an odd shape that doesn't work right in my hands.

Be Happy and Smile for me.
Have a great evening and night - until we meet again...xoxo

got the goods...

2013-05-06T19:25:00.000-07:00

Android is so cool. Last night I was playing with a new launcher and started remembering why it is so much the superior operating system to any other. What is a launcher you ask? Well let me tell you... Basically the Launcher is an app that allows you to change the look and feel of your phone. It allows for total customization on all of your home screens. Yes, unlike a few other OS's out there, Android allows for total customizablilty. Not even sure if that is a word..anyhow. I am a geek; love my gadgets, but I also like being in control of them. I like my app drawer to be a certain way and my screens to rotate in a nice way. Anyway...Google is not so full of themselves that they don't allow you to change the stock design of the phone, which is very very cool. I downloaded last night the "GO Launcher" which is free. I didn't expect much, because not to long ago I purchased the "Nova Launcher" for 4.99 and it's pretty neat, but I saw a review somewhere for GO and decided to give it a go :)..

I must say...I am impressed.. They have like a ton of widgets to make my experience GREAT and also I can still launch Nova from an icon anytime I like. Launcher to Launcher is smooth and I love it. Why would you want to do this..well..I have all my icons set on my home page in the Nova launcher and didn't want to give that up completely, so I just put the Nova link on the new home screen and vvvuuuaaallaaa you touch it and I'm back to the old.

okay - on a different subject - talked with my boy today (the one I don't talk to that often) I sure love him VERY much. I have such great kids. Seriously. Watched Iron Man 3 tonight too, and while I thought it was a great movie, probably not good enough for me to feel so rushed about so many other things, but now Zach feels better about seeing it, I know. The things we do for our children.

Overall an okay busy day. Hope yours was fantastic.

Love you ... millions .. infinity . . xoxo

experience ...

2013-05-05T17:10:00.001-07:00

Went to Zach's mission meeting tonight. I am really hoping he enjoys himself, but also learns a lot from this trip. Thanks to everyone who has pledged or supported the mission group.

Today included Lots of packing - lots of getting rid of stuff..been a VERY productive day. It is good for us to cut down on our 'things'. This cutting the fat is much needed. (no comments needed)

I love new experiences, and hope that never changes. I love it also that my kids get this too. They seem to understand the importance of enjoying each experience. Especially that Jennifer, she really really seems to get that. The crossbow is gonna be a new and hopefully fun experience. We only live for a little while. Subject switch - I watched a couple little boys getting all excited about my decepticon today. So great; made me smile for a long time.

Okay - enough for today - blogged a lot yesterday - I love you, and of that I am certain.

millions - to infinity - xoxo

Understanding...

2013-05-04T20:45:00.001-07:00

I was going to save this for tomorrow's blog, because sometimes I have issues with.. What am I going to talk about today.. But I am thinking about this now, so I thought I'd write about it fresh.

Isn't it great how much we don't understand about the way things work? I mean.. Zach said a few weeks ago, "I font really get how the whole electricity things makes things work" and I actually struggled to explain cuz I am not sure I've ever really thought about it much. I remember Shawn having a electric kit when we were young and the open and closed circuit thing, but yeah Gary jumped in to help and it was a good thing.

Well.. Today I was thinking about a helicopter.. Why.. I don't know, but anyway who thought up that design and it's awesome that it works, right.. Kinda like a bee but not cuz the blade circles and it's not even that large if a blade to lift a lot of weight.. Anyway this thinking made me think about how little we all know outside of our own day to day stuff.. I am learning some of the acting stuff gradually and even that seemingly uncomplicated thing is so overwhelming at times.. There is a lot involved.

So.. Tomorrow I am going to look for a crossbow. I have some things that I do not want to die not knowing and being able to shoot a target with an arrow is one of them. Later this summer when I jump out of a plane with Jennifer.. That will be marking my number one off the list but the crossbow is right up there, so it's time to make that happen. Now you're wondering how I jumped to this subject.. Me too actually...

Spent some quality time with some lovely ladies and a man tonight.. Going to have another girls night out before the move.. Looking forward to that. Cherishing the time and glad I'm not moving that far away. Again how did I get on this subject.. My thoughts and you're just reading them so don't judge.

Love to you.. Millions and millions.. To infinity and beyond

As I pack...

2013-05-04T13:37:00.001-07:00

I am going through old things the kids made for me over the years and deciding what to keep. I find some stuff from David in there that I had no memory of. I really love my kids so much.

Today has been a weird day from the start. We stayed downtown last night at the Embassy Suites. Was awakened by work this morning and worked on a problem for a good three hours, and then went to the apartment to get the garage.. I napped.. So tired sometimes. Gary did convince me to start training again for next year's mini.. So we're signed up again. I need to get with it if that's gonna happen.

Got home this afternoon and decided a grocery store run was in order and some recycling needed to be done.. Then I started packing what I like to think of as the "junk" room upstairs.. Doubles as a guest room but all kinds of Christmas decorations and such. I believe I'm going to get rid of most of that. We didn't do a tree other than charlie browns last year and that was nice.. Who needs all the crazy decorations that you put up just to have to bring then back down anyway?

We have a lot of stuff we're giving away. We originally thought we'd have a rummage sale, but I don't want to bother with that either. I still have about 2 shelves of Dvds and blurays too.. So let me know if you're interested and I'll go through the list.

Okay grilling.. Gonna watch cloud atlas with Gary and then hanging with some girls and cleaning at the Black Box.

Btw.. I have seen cloud atlas already.. Really liked it but knew I'd have to see it again to fully get it.

Epic Fail

2013-05-04T03:28:00.001-07:00

Sorry missed a day., but it was for a good reason :-D

yup yup....this is me on a box...

2013-05-02T17:11:00.000-07:00

Soapbox moment

I must prologue this with - I do NOT have it all figured out, I'm not claiming to either. I just used to have much more of a mean streak than I do now, and I used to let things really really get to me. Things still really do get to me sometimes, but mostly it's the way others react to one another. I expect I wonder how they get to where they are more than anything.

I've blogged about this topic before, but I think some of my friends new and old could use a refresher course..

If you want to be unhappy, you will be. If you want to be sad, you will be. If you want to be happy, you will be. Guess what - if you wake up and just know that it's going to be a good day - it will. I know that things get hard, and sometimes you want to jump ship. I get all that. Honestly though, you chose your emotions. I get sad, and mad and sick of things. I have moments where I feel like NO ONE gets me (a lot). I have moments when people listen to me, but don't hear and look at me but don't see..but. . .I smile for me...not for you...I love for me too..it's really all selfish. I choose to care and to love and to smile and to make everyday mean something. If I say hi to you and smile, I do it so that my day is a little brighter - if you smile back..that adds to it, but if you don't - oh well..I did my part. Hello...I write this blog for me. This is my release - my putting it out there. I know how many of you read this..I can see the numbers..I believe I would write it though, even if no one read it. I know that people are reading and paying attention, so maybe tomorrow (just maybe) you can look at someone else, and see...really see them. Maybe you can even chose to be happy and not let anything bring you down.

There is at least one person that irritates me daily, oh shit, every day (always a different person it seems). There are some people that I obviously connect with more than others, but I don't have many people in my life that I genuinely dislike. I used to, but then I decided that was a really wasted emotion and it didn't bring me much happiness. When I find someone that I find rather difficult, which happens from time to time, I usually spout off..and then regret it later..(regret is also a wasted emotion that doesn't make me very happy) - I have been working on this, but it's there sometimes.

You really can decide today that you're not going to let all the petty stuff in life bring you down. We're all only here a short time, why spend it filling your days with miserable feelings. Look outside, feel the warmth, look at the clouds, do whatever it is that makes you happy and decide to be that way.

I chose to love you, and I choose to always love you. If any of you are confused about this statement, ask me, I obviously have no issues sharing.

Yellow - I like yellow. . .

2013-05-01T15:21:00.000-07:00

I had an epiphany today. No one really knows what they want to be when they grow up. Everyone is in and out of reality. We teeter on the edge of the non-existence of what we assume to be true. I know that statement sounds confusing, but really - we are all walking this tightrope and on one side if/when we fall there is one thing, and the other side holds something entirely different. Many times I have struggled with the feelings of "I have to decide now what I want" - - Guess what...I don't need to know what is to come. I don't have to decide anything today or tomorrow either actually. How about - - I just live. I wonder how many other people think about all the crap like I do all day/night..My mind seems to run in circles and in overtime a lot, and this causes me to second guess and make strange assumptions. Well, I'm glad I thought about all this today, but I think way too much. A very sweet friend of mine pointed out the assumption thing, and I want him to know that I was listening, and this is definitely not my first rodeo with this subject.

Also, I will do what I want to do in the end. I do not like being told what I can and can't do. If I want to, I will do it. And actually telling me not to do something sometimes pushes me in the complete opposite direction. Mind you, I'm trying to be mindful of my decisions and not hurt anyone along the way. I'm sure I'm guilty of telling people what they should or shouldn't do, but that's certainly not my place, so if I have done this to you, I sincerely apologize. I once had a kid that worked for me that i told he was too young to have kids, seriously that is still my opinion, but who am I to tell him that. I did tell him, and of course, he didn't listen, so why did I even offer up that opinion. People inherently think they need to help others out along their course, but that does not work really. Live and learn.

So on a much lighter note - I left work at 4:45 and was in Greenwood at 5:15...woot..I am not going to know what to do with all this extra evening time. Love that..And now I'm doing this so I can go to dinner with a very good man and my bro (he's a good man too) and his fabulous wife..might even see the most beautiful two year old girl tonight..and to think in a month..I'll be able to do this a lot - That is exciting for us!

I know I told you all this last night - but it does mean a lot to me to have you all in my life, even if it's only this way. Love you all.

chose my animal today . . .

2013-04-30T16:19:00.001-07:00

So. . .I can honestly tell you that I wanted to be a turtle at one point today. Why you ask...because I wanted to pull my head in my shell. Sometimes it would be nice to avoid conflict, but I am quickly learning that days are filled with it right now. I so wish everyone was more positive, and while I know that there is positive and negative in everything..the ying and yang thing...I just hope that I can rub a little positive thinking off on a few people.

Almost every argument or disagreement Gary and I have (I'd say about 72%) are about how he and Zach get along. Wouldn't it be nice, if we NEVER argued or about anything..Raising kids is hard work, but it's also got so many high points. I am mostly saying this, because I think there are a few people in our lives that need to hear that blending families is hard even when there is only one kid. I can only imagine how hard it would be with a hers and his set.

Now though, Gary is making grilled chicken for dinner and veggies and I'm thinking I'm happy I'm not a turtle..I would want to be the fastest turtle anyway and maybe have a blue shell or orange.. or blue and orange..

I did have a thought about the vampire thing...Maybe I should rethink that...I have a small problem; it's kinda like the feet thing with me, and for a similar reason, I doubt I would be able to bite very many people's necks. Only those people that I would want to hug would I ever be okay with biting. And a few of you are thinking, well she hugs me...well yes, I would potentially bite you then, if I was a vampire and I wanted to..If you don't know about the feet thing...well...I don't want them near me..that's all.

Hope you enjoyed all this nonsense.. I'm not going to reread or fix it either, so if it is gibberish it came out as I was thinking it..

Have I told you that I love you lately? - I do.

how do I avoid stink. . .

2013-04-29T18:08:00.001-07:00

Today’s Blog is going to be actual thoughts that I had throughout the day today. . .

How old is old? Age is a relative thing, and most of you know how much I mean this, but really when I think of old, what does that mean? I see people sometime that seem old to me, maybe it’s a state of being instead of a number. I dunno..just something roaming through my head. I was also thinking, by that definition I bet I would consider myself old. I’m sure tired a lot, and sometimes boring, but I’m definitely not wise..

Another thought.. smell…what is the amount of time that it takes for smell to reach my nose from a spot and how do I avoid that. I know there is speed of light and speed of sound, so how can I determine the speed of which smell travels?

Why is it that I don't have a favorite music genre? I have a least favorite, but seriously I could listen to the Mix station in my car all day long. I love it all. I was trying to think of today's favorite, and I think it's "Mermaid" by Train. such a catchy tune..

Yeah I think that is all today...

xoxo

Oh happy day . . .

2013-04-28T14:46:00.004-07:00

Thank you so much to all of you Black Box parents and volunteers and family and everyone that showed your massive community support. I seriously am so happy to be a part of this. Today was a bit stressful for a few minutes, I did get worried about seating and not having enough. I know it's a good problem, but it didn't feel so good at the time. I am so thankful also to the Milk Building and Scott and Nikki for putting up with us. I hope they consider doing this again with us sometime. I do really truly love those kids, and I'm so genuinely joyful that we did this.

This show was FANTASTIC. Thank you so much to everyone.

Starting tomorrow - a break from LBBT and back to concentrating on homework a bit for a week and half or so..then the move..Thing are changing fast, and I think I'm figuring it all out. It is all going to work out nicely; just need to breathe.

I am very proud of Zach. What a good kid...I know he's mine, but he is really a great gentleman..and I love him so much.

If I have been weird, or short with you, or crazy or whatever towards you - I am very sorry. If you're reading this, chances are I love you dearly, so I am promising to be a better friend to you.

Have a good rest of your Sunday - going to dinner at a friend's house..I can't believe I still have any after the last few weeks.

Hugs to you all. Millions. . . To infinity..

Hey

2013-04-27T20:16:00.001-07:00

Hanging with friends. Good music and great people.
Great show tonight and tomorrow is the last one. Yay!

Gary says, "peace".
Darrell says, "Jimi Hendrix is a guitar God."
I say... I love you

Just wanted to not miss a day of blog..