BrokeNeckStudio

Father's Day In Retro

2015-06-21T18:24:00.001-07:00

C.W.Coulthart 1936 - 2000

In Honor of my Dad on Father's Day I will post my Favorite "Dad" Story! It is a LONG Read and meant for Entertainment Purposes, so, if you are NOT Entertained by "Life Byte" Stories... Feel free to go on then!!!

Happy Father's Day to All There NOW and that have Been there~in So Many Ways~ Even though you KNOW it may Never be Recognized and yet, You STILL "Father On"!! Huah! \m/\m/

~Rags~ Dedicated to C.W. Coulthart ~By: L.G.Coulthart

My Dad “Clem” died at Thanksgiving. So, instead of our ragtag family gathering to celebrate the blessings of life, we gathered to say good-bye to a loved one. His was not a quick and surprising departure, it was a slow, gut wrenching, painful and long death. There was no peaceful slipping off for the tired, old, weathered redneck. He had fancied himself like “John Wayne” most of his life but there would be no riding off in the sunset for him! But those surrounding him did love him and were there to do all we could to ease his suffering. He was at home, where he wanted to be, with all of us there by his side.

There are a lot of things that take on a new perspective at times like this. As my dad called out to me, “ Girl, go fetch me a towel, no, no, that green one!” I smiled, knowing he liked the green one, even though it was only a rag now. I paused, remembering the origins of this really ugly green terry scrap I held. We had bought that towel precisely because it was so ugly, he could wipe his greasy hands on it and it just wouldn’t even matter. I gazed at that inanimate object and started to think of the stories ingrained in those tattered terry fibers. How and when had it become so torn? How many times had my dad wiped the sweat and blood from his brow with this ugly thing? How many tears had it collected? I used it once to wipe my snoogers on after my Dad saved me from choking on a piece of beef jerky! I can remember seeing it once in his service truck, stiff and thick with who-knows-what. I rescued it by throwing it in the laundry. Do I even want to know what all those stains are? I wonder about the other adventures this “rag” has had living life with my Dad. It’s strange how this towel now seems to have had a “life” of it’s own. Some might ask, how is it that an inanimate object like a simple towel can take provoke such an emotional image and response?

Our family was poor. No, not the really bare bone, raggedly starving poor, but still, poor nonetheless we were always “surviving” between one job and the next. My dad was a mechanic, without any formal education beyond the 3rd or 4th grade. His idea of fine literature to his dying day would be a good comic book. Raised on a farm in North Dakota, he was needed at home to help run the farm. In this survivalist environment, an education was just a waste of good work time. He learned his trade by trial and error. But, his true “gift” was when it came to “fixin things”. He just loved the puzzle of it all, and he had a compulsion to find out how and why it did or didn’t work. Always an obsessive need to figure things out. We called it his “Thinking Hat”, most notably when he had his tongue working at the side if his mouth we knew he was going at it! (He and I had a special bond because we shared this strange trait). Nothing excites us more than an urgent need to “Mickey Rig” something to get us out of a jam. The whole T.V. series McGyver could have been conceived just based on my Dad! The farm taught him that hard work and perseverance was the measure of a good man, and he was a big, strong, steady man. He left the farm to join the service, then after leaving the service, his family life soon settled him in a small rural community in Southern California.

His line of work has a lot of feast and famine aspects and he struggled constantly to fill the voids. Because he had an enormous heart and a deep loyalty to his family he would never turn down any work. Often working for favors, receiving minimal pay or “trades” most other times. Generous to a fault, he died with his riches; only of the soul. He had nothing left because he gave it all away while he lived. If you needed it and he had it, it was yours! His life was full of hardships and he worked doggedly through some really rough times, right up to the very end. He worked even if he had to lie on a scooter and push himself around. Although he was only a shell of himself when he passed, he will always be a “Giant” of a man to us!

Our family of seven (plus strays), a rag-tag mixture of “his, mine, ours and some of theirs” lived on a bare piece of land in the mountains. It was filled with every redneck cliché’ ever dreamed of; out houses, fetching water, kerosene lamps, farm animals in the house, plywood patched floors and a yard full of auto carcasses. Just about anything Jeff Foxworthy ever said about us was true in one way or another. Hell, that’s what makes him so damn funny! It was not an easy life, just a lot of plain, hard work with a good dose of “down home” realities. Things that were important to us may seem a little obscure to others. We most definitely learned an appreciation for some things that ordinary people may take for granted. Such as electricity, indoor plumbing and clean towels!

If you’ve never had to haul huge buckets of water to fill a tub that you will share with several other people you may not be a redneck! This is the real reason why rednecks only bathe once a week and or if you really just need to! Bucket after bucket from the well to the wood stove and then to the tub. One reluctant sibling after another would bring in their buckets of hot water, add it to the bath and climb in. Now, this is where one of those real life lessons occurred. What it really means to be a “middle” child. The older kids got first dibs, one by one, until they reach me. You see, I was not old enough to warrant a bath alone, having not reached that (puberty) line between “young’n” and “ girl” as yet. So my job was to bathe the babies. This was just how life was.

(At least for a couple of years until me and my Dad finally got the pipe line in to run the water from the pump to the house! It had to be put down into a trench that we dug by hand. Okay I admit, I was only about 9 but I did my best. I certainly helped him more than anyone else over the course of just a couple hundred feet.)

Anyway, I would dutifully scrub each struggling child and hand it off (or chase them off) one by one until the water was dirty, cloudy and freezing. By then I would just rinse off right out of a bucket. It was cold by then, but at least it was still clear. The one redeeming moment was always that wonderfully blissful feeling of wrapping myself in a clean fresh towel. If all was going well at the moment, it was stiff, scratchy and smelled like soap and fresh air. If not, it could be anything from funky smelling to a t-shirt, hopefully not a funky smelling t-shirt! Many a family feuds had begun in our house over the precious “clean towel” commodity.

We usually had a washing machine of some kind, but never seemed to have a dryer that worked more than a couple of licks hit or miss. Most of the time laundry just hung perpetually from lines that straggled from all types of precarious perches. We struggled constantly to keep them off the ground. And I do wish that someone could explain just what it is about fresh laundry that attracts dirty animals? Dogs just love a good game of tug-o-war with a fresh, clean, stolen piece of clean laundry! Then the goats would always drag and chew whatever they could grab before we caught them. Cats climb and the birds crap on them! Between the animals and everyone else running around like heathens, obstinate weather and just plain old nature, a fresh clean towel was a very precious thing. To help diminish the towel wars, we were all given our own personal towels to be responsible for. We took great care to choose different and unusual colors to keep track of what towel belonged to whom. Sometimes resorting to just huge permanent markers. If you didn’t have a clean towel, the alternatives were really hit or miss! Towels that live this harsh rugged kind of life do not usually last long, so a good, clean towel was always hard to come by!

The holidays always seem to pour on the stress and pose an extra challenge when the money is tight. It’s a given struggle to try to find the balance between things you need, things you want and things you can afford. Then the biggest challenge is financing these little extras. Already under great strain just to make ends meet, my Dad worked day and night for the holidays, with dogged perseverance, for every dime he could. It really meant a lot to him to come up with that extra cash.

Now, most families have holiday traditions, those small things that play them selves out year after year with just minor adaptations to suit life. My father had just such a tradition. He would come in on Christmas Eve, covered from head to toe in grease and oil. He would peel off his filthy coveralls, wash up in the kitchen sink, run his thick fingers through his crew cut and eyeball all of us, just waiting in anticipation. With a grin that could only be described as “from ear to ear”, (with a great deal of drama and production), he would dig deep into his pocket, fish around and then haul out, flash, and fan a huge roll of bills. Then with a long exaggerated drawl, announce, “Weeellll, I might just run into town, think anyone wants to ride along?” You bet, we would beat each other down to all pile into that old beat up service truck and then freeze, huddled together for that long, bumpy ride into town.

The only store open in our small town on Christmas Eve was the Thrifty’s drug store. (In later years there was a K–mart that would then became the scene of our invasion. Till then, Thrifty’s was the biggest store in town.) As we swarmed into the store, this dirty, rowdy and raucous mob, my dad would holler to gather us around. He would grandiosely pull that wad out of his pocket and begin to peel them off and hand them out. He would sternly say, “Now, make sure you get something for everyone” and then “you can pick out one thing for yourself.” As we scattered and scurried away, he would add “and get yourself a new towel.” This ritual played out numerous ways and numerous times throughout our lives. For birthdays as well as other celebrations. Getting a new towel was always better than socks!

Needless to say, I am now an admitted towel hoarder. There are towels in my house that I have been dragging around for more than half my life. They ceaselessly follow from one domain to the next. I collect and adopt towels from everywhere. Old towels, new towels, it doesn’t matter. I have towels that have made their way over the years from beautiful fluffy showpieces to stringy little squares that I keep in a basket, ever ready with their last few strands of terry to meet the needs of life. Sacrificing themselves for spills, scrapes or dirty jobs that could very well be their last. These rags have many years of my life entwined in their shreds. As I look at one, I see the stain from helping my daughter learn to tie-dye, I think about some of the other memories in this basket of “rags.” There’s one that was torn and stained as I rescued an oil soaked and injured bird from the beach, here’s the one that I held to my shoulder for my grandchildren and there’s one I seem to favor when I’m sick. A lot of these and other memories are embedded into the ugly scraps left here.

As I sat with my Dad I pondered this strange ingrained ideal of the towel. I have to chuckle, because this “story” has been an on going “joke” in our family for years. I still try to buy towels for my family at Christmas. They will all laugh about it, but if I don’t get them the towels, then they will concertedly whine, “Where’s my towel?” My Dad would actually ask us, usually in a quiet way and with all sincerity, “Do you have enough towels?” More than one trip has been made to K-mart when a visit discloses that our house is lacking something, “need soap”? “Okay, might as well grab a couple of those towels on sale there while your at it.” This was to him a small but important measure of just how well (or not) things were going in your life. If you have plenty of towels, well then, you must be doing okay!

When my Dad passed away, I gathered up his things and washed his linens. Then when I returned home it was with a small scrap of a green towel tucked into my bags. I grab it now and then and use it. I try to make sure it is a gentle retirement. At least as long as I am still here to hold the memory close to me. As I fold up that piece of towel and put it away in my beat up old rag basket, I can’t help but feel a tug of love and fondness. It seems that every piece here, having had some memory or story of it’s own, speaks out to me. I know it is funny, and I silently chuckle, because I know the memories are really all in my heart and in my mind and that the basket is really just full of “Rags”!

This Mothers Search Continues After 35 years...

2015-05-10T16:24:00.005-07:00

Okay, so, It Is Mother's Day....
I feel Compelled to share my Story again...
Just In Case, It COULD Be that ONE Time...

Missing: Clayton Walter Knox
Born: November 7th, 1976, Long Beach, CA
Kidnapped & Missing Since July, 1977
Probably Looks Like This Picture (L) Below...[of UNKNOWN FB Game Player]
Both Sons were Kidnapped by their Father in July of 1977, I have NEVER Seen Them Again! Now, His Brother Albert Knox, that I Have Since FOUND on Facebook, on the (Right) and I WANT to Find Him Too!

Albert, was raised his whole life believing I was dead and NEVER Even Knowing he Had A Brother! After 35+ years missing, I found Him on Facebook, now we are Hoping we can find his Brother Too! This picture below is of an "Unknown" player on a FB Game... Uncanny how much he LOOKS Like Albert for sure!

So, Reaching out to the 2,000+ people in my Feed on this Mother's Day, to maybe Share this and that JUST Maybe This Son can be Found!

— with Albert Knox.

Fabsak Is Coming... When Ideas Crash Into Me~ I Tumble Along...

2014-11-14T14:48:00.002-08:00

Working at really trying to get my arms to co-operate with my brain and roll out with my thoughts! NOT That easy...
I have SOOOO, Many Things to do! And I am Anxious to put the effort in to keep putting it out there...one inch at a time! I know I am slow, but, I am realizing that Slow is Okay, it beats the hell out of NO Go!... it is just so slow... :/ Very Frustrating...

Still learning to let go of my "Stuff" (Fabrics) too, hard to part with "THINGS" (Fabric) that you Want To Keep! LOL! Some pieces I have are nearly "Priceless" to me, just their existence is "Something" even if it Just a Piece of FABRIC! I Know it is so strange for people to understand the "Dream State" one (okay, freaky me) can achieve by caressing a Nice Piece of Fabric and Fantasizing about what one could (C O U L D ) DO With It! The Commitment it takes to Actually DO Anything 'Conclusive' with it is nearly Heartbreaking, in the Loss of all THOSE Dreams!
Whew...
"Stash Pictures"
Unstashing...
Caching...
Cashing!?! :)

Sometimes You Just Find Out Your WORTH It!!

2014-06-27T12:42:00.001-07:00

For years, I have had people telling me..."Oh, you could get a Much Better Rate on that Car Insurance if you just shop around a little!" and "You should get a couple of Quotes, that AAA is Just Too Expensive!!"

Well, Let me tell you! it was NOT Fun to Discover...But...UhUhhhh...
I Am WORTH IT!!
Oh Yeah!
Thank All the Powers that be, I walked away...
AAA Was like a Gleaming Knight In Shinning Armour!!
HU-FKG-RAH!
I will spend the Rest of my life Pimping AAA Auto Insurance to Everyone I get a Chance to!
They were FAST!, Friendly Beyond reproach! Smart, Ready and Got It DONE!!!
YAY AAA!! \m/\m/
I <3 AAA!!
https://www.linkedin.com/company/aaa-northern-california-nevada-&-utah

Fostering The Rose

2014-05-26T12:39:00.004-07:00

A couple of people I know got married some years ago. It was an ill-fated marriage; they really had very little in common, outside the bedroom, if you know what I mean. Their battles were long and makeup sex was strong, but after a few years it wore off, or rather on. After many attempts at attrition, there was just too much to forgive. One day while they were busy ripping and tearing their lives apart, I happened to stop by. As I was a friend to both of them, this was really an awkward moment, but too late, I was already there! As I walked around the property with her, (as she needed to vent,) I made small talk of the plants and flowers. I inquired as to the species of an ugly little lump of a stump in this small wooden container. It was a rose bush she insisted. With which he had attempted favor by dragging it into their lives at some point. It was an ugly little stump; it took some convincing for me to believe it was even a rose at all. She loudly persisted that I should “have it, take it, do something with it”; she sure as hell didn’t want the piece of crap! Reluctantly I accepted the “gift”. It looked dead, like a scrap of driftwood. I threw it in my car and made my escape as elegantly as possible.

A few days later I came across the “scrappling” in my car. I dragged it out, tugged gently at the stump and decided that it may have life in the root ball after all. Who knows what a good root ball can produce! I took it over to my potting bench and poked around the soil a little, put a handful of fresh mulch on top and sank a fertilizer stick into the deepest part of the little rotting container. It was evident that if it lived, I would have to get a new container for it soon. I found it a comfortable place to reside and figured I’d give it a shot.

Sure enough, just a few weeks later I noticed some shoots! I delighted in its first production of just one little rose. But it was clearly weak and it soon succumbed to a terrible round of nasty little critters that stripped its pathetic little stems to scrawny toothpicks. But after seeing that first rose I knew I could bring it back around. I went and got it a nice big new container, a bag of the best stuff around and gave it a place of distinction on my front porch.

The following season, I was ecstatic to get enough blossoms as to glean comments from passersby. Then once again, I had a hell of a bout with the critters. I was reluctant to use harsh chemicals because I felt she was a little delicate. I pampered her and did what I could with teas and concoctions. This cycle would play itself out for a couple of more years.

Then one year, just as she was beginning to put out some really promising blooms, again the damn critters began to munch, Oh! I can’t believe this! The poor thing has been trying so hard. It looked so sickly; I moved it away from the front of the porch to the back.

When I got up the next day there was a huge spider web covering most of what was left of leaves and stems. I figured what the hell, let him live there; maybe he can grow fat on some critters!

Sure enough, several days later I noticed that the progression of the critters had ceased. In fact there was some evidence of new growth. Oh my God! That spider really did eat the critters! Well, I was so astonished I tried to tell some people about it and I think they think I’m crazy. You Think?

Over the next couple of years, despite some amateur clipping accidents and several more bouts between critters, I have ended up with what appears to be a small, double trunk, mini “tree” of roses. This year my spider moved in early, how I love this guy, not another critter in sight! I played with the stems and crossed them over each other and secured them in the middle. They look really cool like that. The blooms are setting for the second time this year, and there is going to be even more this time around.

My friend stopped by the other day; it’s been years since she came around. As we strolled around my yard she proclaimed about what a beautiful rose that was! I proudly informed her it was the same one she had given me. Oh! No way, this was her rose? I bristled at the words rolling off of her tongue. Her rose? NO, this is my rose! But, being civil, I refrained from correcting her and let her wallow in her own self-glorification and lament about how she should not have given away such a beautiful rose. Her comment on how she had a spot that would be perfect for it at her new home, rolled off me like water on a duck. I wasn't going to go there, and neither was my rose!

It wouldn't matter to tell her that it would not even be in existence any longer had it been left in her care, nor that it would still not probably survive the future. She can beat her chest all she wants because the truth is; I know that I brought this plant to life. Yes, the root may have belonged to her, but she discarded and discounted its value. Now that it is plain to see it’s potential she wishes to bask in its glory! All of that doesn't really matter, she can’t have it back, and it still lives at my house. I’m still the one that will run out and brush away the first snow and then tie and cover the stems to protect it. I will be the one to carefully trim it and feed it to help it “spring” to life next season. I’m the one that sees it grow and delights in the changes. I’m the one that basks in its glorious blooms! Ultimately, this is my reward; because you see, it really is my rose!

'Twisted Crone'

Dedicated To Fosters Everywhere....

Grandma's Honey....

2014-01-30T09:28:00.000-08:00

"Grandma, Why do you put Honey in Everything?"
"Because a Little Sweet always cuts the back off the Bitter!"

When Powerful Dreams Manifest...

2013-10-27T11:34:00.002-07:00

I had the most Intense "Vision" that was really a "Trigger" to Deja Vu a Dream! I had a "Slice" as if it was a PICTURE Imprinted On My Mind! From it I can Re-create the Knowledge of what I saw! Wow!
In the future, I saw hospital person operating a hand held device that was analyzing information from a patient that was then "Creating" food (3D printing?) perfectly nutritious based on their needs, being dispensed from a small unit in the wall, it really was like I was living inside a "Judy Jetson" at the Cafeteria moment!
Freaked me out just a little, but then i felt very excited and wanted to see if there is such a thing...not yet I guess...soon... :)

Music Musing

2013-10-23T13:47:00.000-07:00

"Why do you listen to that weird music all day?"....
Hmmmm....
Well, I guess it is because it is enjoyable, quieting and contributes to the "Fugue" that lends to my Creative Abilities! If I try to listen to music that has a lot of lyrics, catchy rhythms, messages or anything like that, it is like my Brain is a "Radio Station" with bad reception and keeps jumping channels! I can't get anything done because the song, music, beat or whatever will distract me and I may never get back in the same groove...sometimes, I loose a project for days...
That is okay, at least I am still DOING IT!!!
Doing it
Doing it
Doing
It
Well!
HAHAHAHaaaa!

Living Life IS An Artform...Here's To An ArtFULL Life!

2012-08-17T14:12:00.000-07:00

I have been trying to wrestle with life and adjusting to a few new twists and turns, so lately it has been all I can do to keep dreaming the DREAM of getting to the things I want to do!
An Example would be that every single day I am "Thinking" about my Blog, but SELDOM, (If EVER) actually sit down and say a line! However, I did notice that I seem to have Plenty of time to FaceBook! :o
So, As of TODAY... I am Vowing to Blog First! :) I am Actually really working towards a "VLOG" and am REALLY trying to figure it out!
I will hopefully get a link page soon up at the www.brokeneckstudio.com for the start of my Webshow ICEDview! So, hopefully, if I start heading my Positive Energies in THAT direction, instead of spending so much time on 'Other" stuff...Hmm.... Well! :)
We'll see!

2012-03-08T15:22:00.001-08:00

Learning To Merge Into The Fast Lane...

2011-11-16T08:13:00.001-08:00

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=2654746055773

Second Saturday Still Hopping!

2011-08-14T10:17:00.000-07:00

I was out and about last night for the Second Saturday ArtHop, even if I did get out a little late! I was Disappointed that I did not get to have a Spot on the Hop with my show at the Bohemian Art Loft, but alas, it is the"Traveling Bohemians" after all! They had an out of town performance so they could not be open last night! What a bummer for me...

Anyhoo...We didn't get started until almost 7, so we went straight over to the Gallery 833, which is always our "kick off" point for Hopping, then we work our way back across town! As always, Dennis Halkides and his Gracious family had a Wonderful Show in full swing! The guest Artist was very sweet and had some very nice pieces, but the "833" moment of the night for me, I have to say, was a new picture in his Gallery of the Jewish Cemetery in Prague, as he told me the story, it took my breath away! What a powerful image, very haunting and memorable... I also want to comment on what a spectacular table of Tid-Bits they had, I especially Loved the pickled Asparagus!!! Oh Yum!! I still miss Ann & Jeanette, I was thinking of them...I swear... :)

Since we lingered too long at 833, we made a mad dash for the Vintage and could barely squeeze through, in fact we didn't, I plan on going in next week to see the Artwork! What to say, they remain a staggering favorite on the course!

We were bent on making it to the "Empty Lot" event at the Corner of Market &amp; Shasta Streets, put on by a WHOLE lot of People... Ashley Wagar, Tyler Faires, Ben George, Mike Cruz, Brent Van Auken, Wesley Jensen, Sheena Rae George, C.d. Tomcat, Emily Applekamp, Amanda Honeycutt and I have to say IT ROCKED!! I met lots of People and Artists that I only knew on Facebook, like "The Good Stuff Girl", "Dark Pony Designs" and more! Thank youze Guyze, I hope you do it again!!

Then, walking on the rocks gave me multiple Herky-Jerkys and I had to leave...

We still had a blast and I can't wait till the next!! :)

"Till Then And Now" Show Opens With A Crowd!!

2011-08-04T10:10:00.000-07:00

Okay, Okay, so it was a SMALL crowd...but it was big for ME!! I think I had about 25-30 people come through!! YAYAY! :) I was very excited to see so many people come! I had plenty of new pieces, so even the people that have seen some of my pieces at other Venues got to see something new!! I am very happy with the Direction my new work is going, but last nights show was a cross section of works I created long before my injuries and what I have done recently!

I have several new canvases I want to start working soon as well as I am putting up new canvases soon! I will be doing new canvases next week, while I still have enough heat and sun to "Cure" them! So I will be hoping for and looking forward to doing yet another show soon!! :)

I made a "Antipasto Pasta Salad" that grew and grew like a stone soup that ended up big enough to serve a small army though, so even with my Great turnout, I took Plenty Home!!

I'm Just Necking Along Now!!

2011-07-21T08:18:00.000-07:00

Yes! Wapaw! I got my Gallery Cards done yesterday!! YAY! I am just going crazy trying to get everything ready for my upcoming show! I am very excited, but also struggling my Azz Off! :(
I have definitely been taking my physical limitations to new measure! My G-Kids think I should do a video of me painting while having a Herky-Jerky! Although, I do not technically Paint While I am having one, I always stop...it would be a (funny?) interesting video! :) I wonder what kind of music I could put that to? Hmmm... imjstkidding...noreally...

Look "Who" Is In The Mix!!

2011-07-18T13:26:00.000-07:00

http://www.redding.com/events/2011/aug/03/10517/

ME! I am now beaming!! I am going to have my very own Solo Show right here in Lovely Redding, Ca. at the Bohemian Art Loft, 3304B Bechelli Lane!!! YAY! I hope to see a lot of friends, all friends whether real or imagined!! I am going to have a drawing for one of my Paintings, so even if you do not make it to the Opening of "Til Then And Now", Please try to come by, the show will be up through August! The Bohemian Art Loft is truly a wonderful little Gallery that always features a ton of local artists, handmade jewelry, cards, prints and more! Plus the Owners Nadia and Peter are Delightfully sweet, ready to greet you and very Exuberant about what they Do! :)

Another Hopping Good Saturday!

2011-07-10T17:52:00.000-07:00

I was out in full force last night with a Carload! LOL! I got out late, had the Grand kids in tow and the rush was on! :)

We started out at the North Valley Art League where I was looking for Pam Bennett! She was the featured Artist and had a couple of her Very Big Paintings there, that she worked entirely in Grey Scale! They were fantastic, nearly photographic looking! It was Very Impressive! Also up is the current Members Show “Daze of Summer”! Their hors d'oeuvres were nice, complete with somebody's Home Made lemon Squares and Tasty Shrimp!

Then we were off to the Old City Hall (SCAC) where they have a awesome Show Called "The Natural Step", highlighting the theme of natural form and features the works of a lot of excellent local Artists! I have to admit that I have a special weakness for a good Baked Brie, so I found myself lingering a tad too long at the Tid-Bit Table!

Following the horrendous parking issue I had, we finally made our way to Leatherby's Creamery! They were featuring the work of one of my Favorite Groups the "Artistic Endeavors"! I love the stuff they bring in, it is always fresh, well executed and presented very well!

We rushed to get over to see my Artist friend Raette Meredith doing an exuberant demonstration at the "Redding City Ballet Company", she is always putting herself out there for her demonstrations and is forever inspiring to everyone that watches, which is definitely the case this time! :)

We finished off the evening by dropping in at the "Viva Downtown" to see some nice Photographic works on Canvas then across the street to my Favorite End Spot "Vintage Wine Bar" where an old Favorite Gene Knaebel had a really fantastic body of works featuring Photos on Canvas of Murals from the Coit Tower in San Francisco!

All in all it was a really great Hop Night and I hope we can get out a little earlier next month though! :0

Neck Brief; Arachnoiditis and Action Myoclonus with Generalized Dystonia

2011-06-20T13:01:00.000-07:00

In late September of 2006 I injured myself while doing work on a truck! To make the longest story brief, I am too short and too round to reach into the engine compartment, so, I went in and retrieved a chair from the dining room. Almost every time I applied heavy torque to the wrench, it would throw off my fulcrum point and the chair would flip out backwards; I would pitch forward and then be left straddling the front end! This actually occurred several times spread out over 3-4 hours and the whole ordeal was quite the fiasco! Breaking wires, banging my head, smashing fingers, the balancing act and the busted parts! Sometime during this circus act, my whole right side, from the breastplate down, went numb and I just figured I must have hit a nerve and it would get better after some rest! Some days later I was rushed into surgery where they were desperate to see if I could be brought back from what was now nearly complete paralysis due to a pair of burst cervical vertebrae. It was more like a "Permanent Contraction" position in, that all my muscles were in a "Charley Horse" that would not release!

After a 7 hour ACDF at C4-7 with a Titanium VBR C5&6, I can walk again! Hip-Hip- Hooray! Smile, SMILE! But, I still have some problems. I am completely numb on the outside from my right armpit, across the breast line, straight down dead center of my body, all the way to my toes. EVERYTHING there is numb on the outside and it feels weird and awkward, then there is of course, the high voltage electricity that runs along the same said course on the inside. It is exactly the same thing as when you sit too long in one position and your butt and/or leg goes to sleep and then when you stand up, it feels "dead" and the communications to the brain aren't making it and so the "messages" are just going haywire and feels like you are "electrified", It feels like the noise made in the power lines along side the railroad tracks. I am like one of those Orbs at the Fair that have electrical "Lightning" on the inside and when you touch it the zapping moves all around! Most of the time it is a low voltage, it is just a low buzzing hum and then at other times it really starts cracking, snapping and popping! Then, every once in awhile it randomly sends a jolt so strong, it can knock the air out of me like falling out of a tree. The one thing it does NOT Do however is Go Away! No, It never EVER STOPS, it keeps on buzzing 24/7, never ending electrical zingers!! The level is the only thing that changes, it fluctuates in "waves" like one of those "Bio-Charts" of the 70's you could get for 25c at the Arcade! Meet "Archnoiditis”, no, it is NOT a fear of spiders…

Externally? On the skin? Nope, no feeling, none, gone are the Cutaneous Receptors; can’t feel a thing, scrapes, cuts, bites or sting, no not even heat nor cold! However I do have some whacked out, seriously out of control, overactive, "Proprioceptors" to terrorize me! If I do something or “experience” anything that “sets off” or “triggers” a proprioceptive response, it begins a “Storm” of uncontrollable muscular (Action Myoclonus w/ Generalized Dystonia) and nerve firing that we simply call the “Herky- Jerkys”! My entire body convulses in a horrendous spasmodic episode that (when going full bore) essentially feels like I’m having a Baby while being Tazored! This is usually centered in/or around my (still) numb right lower quadrant. The firing and zapping can come in various ways, such as rapid sparks that causes just small "jerking" responses in one or two areas like the thigh or side, or it can zap and grab causing a total body spasm like a giant "charlie horse" "locking" me up either front or back , with an Rhythmic change up, so that I feel like I am being ripped apart. They usually only last a couple to few minutes or so but on occasion, I have had some last up to 20, depends on what I was doing that brought it on! It always reminds me of what that film “Hell-raiser” looks like it might feel, with all those “meat hooks” tearing through and ripping the flesh, only for me it is on the inside instead! I sometimes scream...but I try not to, it really upsets people! Having a baby (10), (severe) Herky Jerky (9.5), gallstone attack (9), Tattoo on inner/upper thigh (8)! Eventually, the zapping will gradually subside like a tuning fork, slowly fading away, then just as I catch my breath, the “burning lava” starts pouring through my body along the entire right side, feeling EVERY inch, this is where "selective memory" allows you to live through to the next episode...

These spasmodic episodes (HJs) are totally unpredictable. What brings one on in one instance doesn't necessarily mean the same thing will bring it on every time. Some days I can get away with doing a lot of things and often push, then, there are days that the Current is very high and It can be triggered by anything; getting hot, a shiver, stepping on an uneven surface, showering, clothes that rub me or are too tight, lifting something the wrong way, bumping into anything, even as light as the wind or just someone touching me! Shivering or being nervous, I have even started from eating ice cream a couple of times! I can just be lying there asleep and something will turn up my “voltage” and wake me up, BAM, within 1-2 minutes something, even just the blanket will “trigger” it, or I simply start "Dreaming" I am having one just to awake and find out I am! Simple everyday events can become horrendous ordeals! Putting on my socks might mean a 10 minute passage through Hades! I live my whole life in between these episodes. How many I have per week generally depends on my level of stubbornness and persistence at trying to do things, but I guess on average I have between 15-20 pretty considerable ones and maybe another 25 not so bad. Every once in a while, I’ll have a REALLY bad day and have HJs all day, some little, some medium, with a couple of bigger ones thrown in for good measure. On these days I end up just staying on the sofa, chair or anywhere trying not to move. I never really know when one is going to happen, but sometimes I can tell my voltage meter turns way up, then it is just a matter of hold on, find a spot! Occasionally, I even get away without a full HJ and will just get a few jolts!

I can just barely bend over, pick up or carry anything more than a loaf of bread, pushing or pulling is skeptical at best and anything over my head is out of the question! Before the surgery my left arm was in permanent state of contraction, like a chicken claw. So now, even though I can use it freely, it still wants to “Pop” back into that contraction. It just hangs back, right at the edge, so I can get away with a significant amount of “activity” with that hand, but if I try to hold onto something a little too long, with a little too much force or just in an odd position, it will just go “snap” right into a “Charley Horse”. My right arm has a rhythmic “dance” to perform during most Episodes! I must be very careful because my legs can and will sometimes just not do what I think they are supposed to be doing. Then of course the added bonus of having an outright full blown HJ if I stumble or fall! If I am out in public this will always result in someone wanting to call an ambulance. When I fall, I just try to aim towards something soft, a sofa or chair, at least the carpet! I will generally end up on the floor a couple of times a month, by just not paying attention and “whump”, there it goes! I have trouble sitting for very long at a time because my side will start burning like fire; the insides start jumping around like I have teeny tiny firecrackers going off up and down my whole right side. I must say that my honey is not very happy these days either. Not only the huge shift of extra chores, but putting up with EVERYTHING comes all right back onto him!!

I cannot seem to tolerate the drugs for much of anything, they never do anything for the pain anyway and I can’t live with the side effects of all that crap, mostly the dizziness, constipation and nausea thing! They piled those prescriptions on, I had some prescriptions to fight the side effects of some of the medication! Really? They didn't even WORK!! I have had real issues with pain pills and bowel problems before in my life, it wasn't long before THAT cycle was just as unbearable as my illness... that the drugs were not helping anyway!! I also am intolerant of the “groggy zombie” feeling! I'm not sure that actually qualifies as LIVING anyway... Even though I tried quite a few Pharms like Neurotin, Lyrica, Baclofin and so many others… I quit, it never turned off the “Electricity” or stopped the HJ’s! I do take a Valium and a muscle relaxer once in awhile, I primarily rely on Teas and my Herbs! I am a Certified MMJ and an admitted PotHead! I do not really intend to justify my use, it works for me, … even if anyone else "thinks" it does not, THEY are not living inside MY body and I DO, so there! I do not propose that it has or will 'cure' me, there is NO CURE FOR THIS! The only thing that can be done for me is to try to mask the symptoms, up to and including morphine! I do not believe I am better off strung out on Morphine than Happily using my MMJ and living life, still doing something, not a zombie laying in bed waiting to die! It does not Cure me, Fix anything or perform any miracles but at the very minimum…I do NOT CARE AS MUCH!! I like smoking it, I gave up a 35 year Tobacco Habit to smoke it! Been years, I don't miss the Tobacco at all! If I am sick or feeling full of allergies, my preferred method is to Vaporize, as this is the best medicinal delivery available at this time! I also use it in oils, tinctures, butter and edibles! Yes, I AM HIGH ON POT, instead of the 16-25 pills a day of Pharmacopia I was on before…that didn't work anyway…but were eating my insides away...

I cannot achieve my level of previous life activities, because she was a whole other person. I can do a little, unassisted in the kitchen, lifting pans is really hard and "Big Cooking" is too much of an Ordeal... I am not happy that so many of my meals are ready made these days, it is too hard sometimes, I do keep trying! My husband now shoulders both His job & a Big Part of Mine too! I try to go shopping when someone else is available to go with me AND if there is an electric cart available. Many trips to the grocery store have been aborted because there was not a cart available. A lot of stores and shops I can’t even go to at all anymore because I can’t walk that far and also most anyone with me is petrified I may have a HJ. They are pretty embarrassed to say the least, I have been told by people that were startled and surprised about my condition, that I should stay home and not put "strangers" through these episodes! I am sorry they feel that way....

Harder yet is that I can no longer work or earn a living! Besides the money problems, it is gut wrenching not to be able to pick up and use my tools, not in the kitchen, nor in the shop. I can’t operate a drill, grab a staple gun, use a saw or hammer. Just holding my own arms up is very difficult so I can just barely hold anything up to sew at the machine, then the other day, sewing a button by hand took me about 20 minutes because I had to stop 3 times. My life as Ms. Fix it is over, so now I am striving to create “art”. I refuse to sit like a zombie in front of the boob tube and vegetate, so I paint and draw, write and sew when I can tolerate sitting, and piddle with various forms of other handcrafts that can be readily picked up and put down. My husband even helps me when it comes to that because you would be surprised how much "labor" there is in "ART"!

Before, my life was a very physically propelled world. I was an Upholsterer, Seamstress, Artist and could "Do It" for an army of people, avid co-op gardener, out-door enthusiast, fanatical do-it-yourselfer and a mechanic when one was needed! I loved hiking, boating, working with my hands, could whip up a meal for 10 people in an instant, “run out” after $200.00 worth of groceries, fix and repair nearly any household disaster, operate most any type of tool and even held a commercial drivers license! My idea of a good time was a tag sale and run at the flea market! Now the order of life is… no bending, stooping, twisting, lifting, carrying or pulling! I used to be a hero, now I am just a zero! I owned a little Toyota, but it is a stick shift and I cannot push and pull effectively enough to shift and left me terrified I would have a HJ behind the wheel, plus It is very hard to turn my head enough to look over my shoulder. So it is extremely hard for me to get around, I almost always have to rely on somebody else to be with me! There are not too many things I can do on my own and I had a very limited social life to begin with, now, is nearly non-existent!

At least I can try to do something in between the spurts of dealing with the demons! I am desperately trying to find a way to help out financially and help to provide some kind of income! Now, I have been trying to sew some as well as sell my paintings! I am so grateful to be walking and using my arms, able to live life, that I feel ashamed to complain about my whinny aches and pains. I know that some people would gladly tolerate my quibbling pains just to be mobile again! Still, I must admit, that it is VERY depressing and I struggle not to despair daily. I try to think of positive things and look for ways to be functional in between.

If you are reading this, then Thank-You! May only positive energy flow through your life!

The Fair Is In Town! The Fair Is In Town!

2011-06-15T11:36:00.000-07:00

Oh How I Love The FAIR!! I will be there, out and about looking at all the wonderful wares! I am soooo Happy to live so close, it feels Extra Special That Way, like I'm out visiting with my Neighbors! :)

See you there! :)

Keep Local Talent "MOOoving" And That's No "Bull"!

2011-05-02T11:25:00.000-07:00

I love it when Local Artists Break out and do something so Clever and Lively!

This local young talent Artist Kong Souriyavong has been busy on several projects around town and is really putting out some 'Moooving" work! HAHAHA! I hope to see even more of his good works soon, I believe he is also doing a Mural at the Anderson Teen Center as well!

So, I can't wait to catch him in action soon and see what else he has working!
Remember, Keep It Local!

Great Music, Shamrock Style Pulled Pork & A Little Rain!

2011-04-23T18:45:00.000-07:00

What a great way to finish of a wonderful day here in Redding, on a slightly rainy day, enjoying the fine offerings of being out and about in Redding ! I started out at the The Annual Redding Whole Earth And Watershed Celebration, but made it a point to finish off my Day-trip over at the Shamrock Cafe, where my friend Mark Loring was rocking the Block lining up some fine Music and attracting the crowds where he was plying some really Awesome BBQ Tri-Tip and Pulled Pork!

Wow! I barely caught a glimpse of Feral Farm,

but you know they were a real crowd pleaser, they have a history! I don't know who let Cirtus wear a Security Shirt, what were they thinking? LOL! :) I also caught some more groovy tunes that ended out with a group called Magic Bus! Yay!

Mark has it going on now setting up his BBQ, even going to be out at the Harlot Show in Anderson coming up in May near my neck-o-the woods!! I know he has been busy and working hard, so I am glad to see he is going strong!

Studio Smells Like Paint!

2011-04-04T13:43:00.000-07:00

I can't help it! Even though I still don't have any "official" place for things to dry I had to paint SOMETHING!! HaHaHA! I only put down a couple of colors...it won't take much for that layer to dry! :)

Sunshine Driving Me To Start Slinging Something

2011-03-31T18:24:00.000-07:00

Around in the Studio that is! I have about 4 Canvases that are just itching for a start! I lost my drying rack over the Winter, so now I am going to have to wing it until I can go get me another! Plus, coming soon is the Pecha Kucha Night! I am already working on my presentation and I am nervous but it should be a Blast!

What Is Going On In The Studio?

2011-03-22T10:10:00.000-07:00

"Paradiso" Original Framed 9"x12" $275

Today I am trying to tie up some projects that have been dragging on Wayyy tooo looong and get it Outta Here! :)

So, up first, the finishing touches to this Custom Upholstered Frame I made for this Original Acrylic Painting, named "Paradiso", in honor of my friend that liked it...that will possibly end up owning it? IDK

Right now it is for sale! $275 It is not on display anywhere, it is still on my easel awaiting the power tool wielding Hunny to attach the hangers! :)

Sundial Film Festival Had A Big "Breakdown"!

2011-03-21T13:56:00.000-07:00

At least that was the Film that took #1 for the Night! LOL! It was a rousing hand of applause when things went "Splat" for the Lady(?) of the film!! Josh McHale of L.A. took home the Big Prize!! :)
Apparently we are still awaiting the People's Choice Award Tally, so keep in touch here... Sundial Film Festival

There were numerous faces I recognized, although I could not get through the Sea Of People to touch bases with most of them! Yay! That is a Great thing to see Soooo many people out having a blast involved with the Arts in Redding!

But... what an awesome time we had out and about at the Festival! I got to see Jeff Loveness again! I have been following him since the First SFF when he won for his short called "Profiles Are Lovely"! What a doll he is... his (2011) short film "Contact" was very thought provoking and another Classic! Now that he is officially a Grad from Pepperdine University I can't wait to see him fly!! :)

Sundial Film Festival Excitedly Anticipated!

2011-03-15T12:14:00.000-07:00

I wish there was a sticker! I used to love those stickers people handed out for promos! Annoying as hell, but boy sometimes they could Really Stick Around! :)
I would be getting my 3rd one this year!
Hey, I voted, Did You? :)