Not This Blog

2010-09-10T21:10:00.000-07:00

I Have the Issue - ???

So I wanted to get your opinion, or well, maybe not an opinion, but I wanted to share my situation. This was brought up during a heated discussion, just like many couples people argue about different things and one of the most common things is finances. Now, I have already moved on, but in a recent discussion, this was brought up…more of a blame on me for what was happening, but like I shared with her I wanted to share with you…see if maybe I was in the wrong, so please read on.

So, let’s just say…your significant other build widgets and after all costs, make a profit of $100 dollars. Ok, so you really don’t know what the make, but if you see 10 widgets shipped per week, then you can conclude that they are selling 10 widgets a week for $100 dollars each, and this is continuous…ok. So you guess-timate $1000 per week, but when it comes time to deposit into your mutual bank...it is 1500 every 2-weeks…so you ask yourself…what is going on with the other $500…so you ask and they tell you that NO, they deposited all the money…and other reasons. But I ask, I work a full-time job, bust my hump and I am a Realtor and Loan specialist, I also have my Notary license and I run a website business…so I believe that I have the right to get cranky, because every month if you struggle to make ends meet…you end up getting tired and frustrated, because you know there are an additional 1000 a month that you have no clue where it is going. Wait…I am using this as an example, in my case it is thousands of dollars a month un-accounted for…and when I ask…they get defensive and worst of they wonder why I am in such a PISSY mood everyday.

So I ask, if you had a partner that you could guess pretty darn close what the make and you noticed they don’t deposit a lot of it…wouldn’t you be a little PISSY? Especially if you BUST your hump to provide...towards the family. That was the last discussion I was in, why was I always in a bad mood and it wasn’t nice to live with someone that was always in a bad mood…so…I guess I was the problem in this relationship.

You know though, I hear her talking to her friends and I hear some conversation about the husbands…I heard one where the husband got upset and threw out the wife in her underwear and bra in the middle of the night…she had to walk/run more blocks to get to her moms house. Ok, then I hear one where the husband won’t change a diaper, won’t cook, won’t clean, won’t do a single thing around the house to help and they both work. He comes home late or whenever he likes and expects a warm dinner and a warm bed, then I heard one of the husbands does not allow her to wear lowcut shirts, short dresses or tight dresses, no shorts, no bathing suites, no makeup, she cannot go out with friends, unless he is there…wait…the best part is, he goes out with his friends and stays out late hours of the night…no..wait, he sometimes does not come home, he verbally abuses her..seriously…pretty much she is locked up in a 10,000 square foot mansion…with no outside connection…so you tell me…I was the issue here.

Now, I am not perfect at all, I have a temper, but it takes a lot to get that out, but I don’t care what she wears, I prefer sexy, I don’t mind she goes out with friends, she can come home whenever…I trust her, she can pretty much buy anything, within reason, I don’t argue over petty things, I work hard, as I said, I have a fulltime job, make good money, I am a realtor, close deals, I have my notary, have provided services, run a website, pays for itself and provides a little money..which all goes directly into our mutual account…come…I guess I am the problem. So with that said, I decided to move on and make everyone happy…by removing the problem from the equation.

But what drives me bananas is all those other husbands or boyfriends getting away with it and I have a problem…the problem of being lied to in the face…I guess being lied to is not wrong…if no one really pays attention to it…I guess. Anyhow, thanks for reading and I hope to write some more.
For now, Latino Man signing off...wishing you a calm day, one where you can maybe ignore the issues for just a little while.

2010-09-08T21:32:00.000-07:00

Realization – Comes Crashing Through

So I had one of those reflection again, you know those that you step back and realize just what the heck is going on. Well, it happens to me every so often and with it a piece of reality comes crashing into me, so I have to take it like a man, sort of speaking, and well deal with it. So, this time I finally realized that after nearly a decade of searching and working hard to build residual income, I believe I found the one thing that will work. I mean , it more like running a business, and dealing with individuals, but if you think about it that usually what makes people money, owning a company where people you hire perform a service or produce something, so even though there are tons of affiliate programs out there, and they do work, but you do have to be persistent with them and most importantly patient, because they won’t produce money over night and of course you’ll need to spend money the first two or so years to make money. But what happens most individuals don’t have the patience and end up giving up early and then blaming it on the system, when in fact it was them all along. Just like any business, whether you open a restaurant, night club, it is proven that the first two years is where most people give up and their business fails, yah of course you need a plan, but if you follow a plan that is already working, then all you have to do is follow it and stick to it.

So, with that said, I wanted to share with you this thought, “The economy is looking grim, people are failing every where from their jobs, to their mortgage payment to their family and it doesn’t look pretty, but I think this is the best time to start learning something new, take things by the balls and go for it, I know it takes money to make money, but see about taking out a small business loans, or getting together with family, friends, ok…so you had a bad experience with a friend or family, but that doesn’t mean you are older and wiser now and can set certain things into place to protect all involved…and then it could work. Believe in your self, believe on what you are doing but most importantly do something that is already working, or market the way something is already marketing and working…look, read, decide and hang tough, don’t give up…it will take several years to see anything worthwhile, the first 2 years are the most important, those two years weed out the successful business from those that only wished. I believe you believe, don’t let negative people, family friends step on your dreams, because in the long run you are the one living this life as you, you are the one that is part of your children and spouse or mate…and everyone else can simply run in the rat race if they want. I believe it is possible, if I can do it, so can others. And remember always help others along your road to success and you will receive two-fold for your kindness - So get up, shut up and put up.

Thanks for reading and remember this is the time to pull away from everything else bad going around you. Till next time, may success be with you each and every day. Latino Man Signing Off.

2010-08-19T20:28:00.000-07:00

Female Traits That Men Can't Resist
by YourTango.com

Women know what they want, they just don't know always how to tell us men. One thing women as a rule do not want is this guy: Jack McJerkface. While irresistible women will likely still attract the McJerks, she'll also attract the Mr. Perfects.

There's a lot of conflicting dating and pickup advice out there: play hard to get, don't play hard to get, be yourself, be a sports fan, be sexy but still down to earth, the list goes on. Here I've compiled 7 traits any straight man undoubtedly finds irresistible. 3 Secrets To Exuding Sexy

So, do one or all of these things to get our attention... and then keep us calling you for date after date.

1 She's Funny. One of the easiest (and surprisingly least-practiced) methods of convincing us we made the right choice in talking to you is when you respond to our jokes instead of simply laughing at them. If you're heehawing at our wisecracks, wonderful—just make sure you don't leave a dead silence at the end of each one or we're going to think you're expecting a stand-up routine. We want a woman who's our conversation partner—not just an adoring fan.

2. She's Somewhere Between Aloof And Instantly In Love. As the law of supply and demand goes, we want to crave your attention before we get it. Once we have it, though, it's nice to be reminded that you only have eyes for us.

3. She's Fashionable—But Not Obsessively. If you spend most of your time and energy on clothes and shoes, we may suspect you are a bit superficial. Can we not sit around in our underwear once in a while if we're feeling depressed? (OK, a very rare "once in a while," fine.) We like a woman who minds her appearance but who also knows that being attractive is more about confidence than owning Manolos. Surprise: Men Primp As Much As Women Do

4. She's Healthy—But Not Obsessively. Obviously men dig a woman with a kickin' body, but not if it means she spends more time in the gym than she does with us. Likewise, we'll forgive you for eating a salad on a first date but not every date for the rest of our lives. Remember, men like curves and women who can bench-press us are somewhat frightening.

5. She's Down To Earth. The type of attention a drama queen demands from men is not the sort of genuine, will-love-you-forever attention women deserve. We like a woman who forgives the occasional stupid move. If we say the wrong thing in a casual conversation and it wasn't racist or an otherwise idiotic remark, she remembers that, as humans, we are going to disagree with at least 25 percent of everything anybody says, and so, she lets it go. Signs You're Just Not That Into Him

6. She Resists Adding Us On Facebook. Where do you want this relationship to go? If you answer, "I'm not sure" or anything other than "to the friend zone with you!" then you should not be friending us on Facebook until it's established that we are more than chummy. I recently had to unfriend two women I dated because they friended me before we ever went out and it didn't work out with either. Don't make us the bad guys.

7. She Returns Our Phone Calls. I know it seems like calling a woman is no big deal because we are grown men, but every time we dial a number for the first time, we are terrified that one of the following things will happen: a) you won't remember us, b) we have to think of something witty to say on your voicemail. Unless we were total jerks to you (in which case you shouldn't have given us your real number), call us back ASAP.

8. She's Passionate But Isn't A Zealot. TomFoolery blogger Tom Miller says: "It's inspirational when anyone is really into something. Whether it's a cause, a hobby or a job, seeing what gets a lady fired-up makes her more attractive (unless it's dog fighting). Zeal does have its limits, however. Fifty hours of work per week plus another fifty hours of decoupage doesn't leave much time for dating or finding new passions as a couple"

9. She Has Friends. Another one from TomFoolery: "While approaching a gaggle of gals is a little intimidating, dating the lone shewolf is even scarier. It's nice to know that we can spend some guy time or alone time and not have someone lonely, disappointed and thinking of revenges for this slight. Plus maybe one of your friends will like one of our friends, and who doesn't like people helping people? The downside is when your friends are jerks, jealous of our time or totally up in our couple business." Being Popular Makes You More Attractive.

My Perspective:
Be yourself, don't over do it, and yes...guys may be guys, but deep down inside we like the cuddling, the birthday fuss and there isn't one guy out there that doesn't. He might now show it or he might seems the tough guy, but you ladies know, when he is behind closed doors, you know him. Ladies be approachable, give it a go, don't think all guys are assholes...because you might just...might let the one get away.

Till next time, thanks for reading and have fun...Latino Man Signing Off.

2010-08-17T21:42:00.000-07:00

Life Changing Decisions

So the time comes when you have to make probably one of the most difficult decisions you need to make. Millions of people through out the world do it, something in your life that could be a tremendous life changing experience. And the worst part is when innocent people are caught in the middle of these decisions. Whether it can be a life threatening decision, job change decision, relationship decision whatever is thrown on you. The thing is, I think that some of these life changing experience are for the better and as individuals I believe we have the knowledge and set of mind to make it through them; of course there are plenty of support groups out there for everything from death in the family, domestic violence, divorce, alcoholism, gambling, the list goes on. But with that said, if you have a life changing decision, there is help and we can usually make it through those decisions.

Anyways, history has shown that you are not the only one in whatever position you are in…in other words you are not alone, millions of people have gone through or going through what you are experiencing. Yah you can say that maybe we don’t understand what you are going through, and yah each case can be a (little) different, but the outcomes are always the same to someone else that has already gone through it. Take for instance a divorce. You either divorce on a good basis or a bad basis. You either both agree on the terms, or you both fight like wild animals in court trying to take the other for what ever they can…so two outcomes...that’s it. How you get there may be different for each marriage or relationship. Some people go through years of abuse, some are married for 20-30 years and just end up getting divorced, financial stress, intimate stress and so on. The trip to the divorce might be different, but the outcome is always the same.

Now, one thing that I have noticed more and more these days, because of the economy, that people that are getting divorce are doing so with a little twist. Now, this is not for everyone but the way it is happening for some couples is; if they have decided on a divorce, the couple agrees to a living arrangement in the interim, because of financial hardships that come with divorces. It also saves money between the couple so they do not complete the process, until the financial arrangements can be justified for them to live in separate housing. Once the time comes they can complete the divorce settlement and move forward with their lives. Now, some of these agreed living arrangements might be awkward, but the couples live their lives as though they are roommates, they each go about their lives with some of the couples actually dating. Yet the respect to not bring other boyfriends or girlfriends to the house holds. Yah, it’s not the best arrangement, but times change and adjust to whatever life is throwing at them, so even though this might have been frowned upon 10 years ago, it has become the norm. You can find articles on the internet on couples that live this way and it amazing to see, but of course eventually the day does come when they each take different housing.

But the thing I was trying to say is that millions of people have gone though or going through what ever you are going through…someone out there does understand and there are support groups to help you through these decision or experiences. So maybe it’s time to move on and do what needs to be done, yah ok…there maybe other individuals involved, maybe children, but I am pretty certain that everyone involved will be better off with the decision and time heals, communication opens doors and you are not alone…support groups are out there. So take the next step with confidence, assurance that you will be a happier person, the people around you will be happier and you life will return back to you with some kind of relief, or weight lifted off your shoulders.

You know I am probably writing all this because of me…ok yah I am…maybe I need to put these thoughts down on paper. I live in and out of my current housing…mostly out this last month…but yah I have been told to simply leave and that I am making things harder. But I am in one of those situations where it’s not all about me or her, or even the kids….it’s about doing it correctly and mostly ease into it. The economy is not helping out at all…looking for a rental is not cheap, considering the deposit, first months rent, electricity, phone, water, internet, etc. and not to mention the essential things in living such as a couch, a bed, plates etc…it all ads up and trying to do it while maintaining a house, and those expenses…it can over take your plans. Yah I could run out and let the courts work it out, but then that would affect too many people in the wrong way. And maybe that’s why I am writing this…to simply let me know that the time has come and that I seriously know I am not alone out there…others have gone through it and many more are going through it right now…so…how about we all together take that first step into that life experience changing “Decision”, whatever it maybe…we can all get through it. You know though I do have to say that they stinks…these decisions…that obviously change your life…wow.

My Perspective: Life always throws things at you, the outcome is always the same in whatever situation you are in, the road might be different getting there, but just like many have gone through them and made it…so can you or me for that matter. Just remember things, do, happen for a reason…make the best of it…we as humans have a desire to be happy, successful and survive, we can do it…I know so…just look back in history of mankind and look at your friends, cousins, family…it’s everywhere…it’s your time….it’s my time.

Good luck and stand strong, thanks for reading…till next time…Latino Man signing off.

2010-08-16T21:29:00.000-07:00

The Big “B” Word (Birthday)

I get to celebrate; I guess what you would call an important event, my birth date. I could possibly see a few people wishing other wise, and you know sometimes I even feel that maybe this day shouldn’t have come. But all we can do is do the best we can with what we are given and jus hope for the better. Of course somewhere in there we do need to make an effort, so let me rephrase, to I celebrate my Birthday.
So, I come into work, and of course my desk is decorated with blues, reds and whites…you see I am a huge superman fan and of course very proud to be an American. So when I walk in it’s nice to see that people remember the important dates in someone life. You see lately I have been feeling a bit under…sort of like a mummy…all bandaged up with no sense of real direction…you get that “old” feeling…well at least I do. The thing is it’s really nice to see decoration and someone making a fuss over your birthday…since I really don’t get much from anyone else. Yah of course my kids wish me a happy birthday, and I truly appreciate it, but you know…I wish a little more fuss was made. I guess that came with the whole marriage thing…you know, you first meet, you both celebrate your birthdays with dinner, dancing, and some end with a passionate evening. Then the marriage things comes into play and you sort of forget everything and direct your energy to making ends meet, it’s actually horrible, but we must do what we must do. I know…yah ok…guys don’t like the fuss…yah that’s what they say, but you want the really truth…they like the fuss.
So anyhow, I am sitting here at work…looking at my decorations, and people walking by wishing me a happy birthday…you know some of them I don’t hear a word from the whole year except on my birthday, yet they sit right next to me…go figure. Anyhow, I do welcome the happy wishes and smiles; it’s nice to actually see a smile on some of these coworkers. And its nice to ever so often get a little conversation going about my age, you know…so your 21 again, how’s that retirement looking…little comments like that…makes for a brighter morning. So, as I was saying, I am sitting at my desk looking at the decorations and thinking to myself…am I where I want to be? I mean…I make a good living don’t get me wrong, but I feel some days that I am threading water…and I am getting nowhere fast. Time seems to be going past me…with each year that goes by I look back at the year that has past me and ask what I have done to get ahead. I don’t know, I am sure lots of people out there feel the same way, and of course lots of people out there are worst of than me…I know that.

The thing is I always had plans and goals since I was about 19 or 20. You see I went to all kinds of seminars on turn-key business; I have bought from those infamous –infomercials-, I have bought hundreds of books on trading stocks, commodities, I have ran a Vending Route, I am have my Real estate license, I have my Notary, I have several on-line business that I market and run, I have flipped notes, done the cash Flow business, I mean if you saw my closet you’d think I was a library of business. I have purchased books on all kinds of marketing techniques, from off line strategies to on-line strategies, to gorilla marketing, I could go on. Any how, so I am sitting at my desk and see everything I have tried, done and attempted and I still feel that I am threading water fast NO where. I honestly feel that I don’t get a break and each year that goes by I feel that I haven’t inch ahead at all.

I don’t know, you know…I am not a greedy person, at all, I only want what other people have succeed on, and I know it is possible…people do it everyday…work hard and follow a plan, steps which leads them, eventually, to wealth. I know it is possible. I just need for something to give. Once I find it I will put all my energy into it…and hope for some growth and a more prosperous future, not just for me, but my children. So, back to me sitting at my desk…I truly enjoy the fuss…I just hate the reminder that I need to see how I am doing on my goals.

I am looking at my writing and I think I am just blabbing…oh well, I am trying to get out my thoughts on this Birthday of mine. Anyhow…ok…so…where am I in regards to my goals and hopes for my future…well…not exactly where I would like to be, and I guess this economy is not helping me at all, it’s making things a lot tougher…you know the strategy needs to change…will see. So I guess what I will do like I do every year, is complain, kick and rage about my whole goal thingy and then I’ll just go back to my everyday life until next year.

My Perspective:
Don't let the years go by without looking to see if your are on schedule with your dreams, or in other words, your goals. There is nothing worng with dreaming of where you would like to be when you retire and we all know it takes some financial buidling agenda and yes i know today's economy is very tough and putting away for retirement is very difficult for many of us, but anything, anything at all is better than nothing. Jsut budget, reduce, cut, but look at where you are with your dreams / goals.

So, till next time, thanks for the lending ear, and remember keep on track on your goals don’t let the years go by without making sure you are on schedule.

2010-08-03T13:56:00.000-07:00

Our Children Are Mirror Images of Us

The other day I was thinking about my son, he is 8 years old. Now, the thing is I really didn’t have a father when I was growing up. So trying to recall anything I could have learned from him as been a father figure, well that is out the window. The thing is my son has noticeably become more disobedient and ever so often, more than often, he is starting to lie. Now, don’t get me wrong the lies are not huge or devastation, but I would like to help stop it now before he gets older and it becomes more difficult to teach him, sort of speaking, regarding lying. Now, I understand that currently I am going through some marital problems and I pretty certain that some of the issues he is displaying are from that, but of course I do my best to explain things to him, I know he is only 8 years old and people have told me that that is the reason for his new attitude. The thing is…I don’t think that is the only reason and maybe it is difficult for me to determine what might be the cause taking the situation I am in, but I guess will never really know until possibly he gets older to find out what was all the ruckus about.

I honestly believe that our children are a mirror image of us; they mimic our actions, habits and values. Now the sad thing about this is, in my opinion, that as parents or better yet said, as adults we know we have certain unhealthy habits and we know that we would like for our children to be better people than us. You know the story, I use to have to walk for miles in the rain, snow to get to school and you get a ride. Yah ok, well that maybe true but of course times have change, technology has change and well our children are more technology savvy. Now, we provide, we teach, we encourage, we do many things for our children trying for them to be better than us. Many parents have a tendency to live through the children’s eyes, but I think that sometimes that creates many issues and frustration on the art f the children and of course the parent. What I am trying to say is that we know of our unhealthy habits, maybe exaggeration, and drama or lying and yet we teach those to our children.

Let me give you an example. I know a couple that directly lies to one child when the other child is doing something special and the other child is not included. The child getting that special occasion is told by the parents it is ok to lie to her sister, so as not to cause her to cry, etc…etc.…you know since she wasn’t invited. Now, they do this with each child, one has something going on and the other doesn’t so the parents proceed to tell that child that it is ok to lie so as not to hurt the other siblings feelings. The thing is that, the children start to believe that lying is ok; so they start to lie to other children and adults thinking it is ok to lie that to hurt someone’s feeling. The thing is that the lies, if left unchecked, begin to become made-up stories, or lies that can actually be dangerous or really hurt someone. So my thing is that if parents know, and I am sure they know, why do they do this? Parents say they want the best for their children and wish for them to be successful and a contributor to society, but if they have these habits and continue to teach them to their children then when does the cycle stop?

Why can’t we as parents and most importantly as adults see that our unhealthy habits should not be passes on to our children? I mean…I have a temper….but most of the time it is for absolutely good reason, anyhow am not justifying it. But when I get upset, really upset around my children I do my best and most of the time to show my children how to handle the anger. I will either count backwards starting from 10 and if it is something really big I start from 20, my son gets a kick out of it. Plus I do other things like if I am working on something I get upset or reading something; I step away and say out loud, “I’ll come back to that later”…you know defuse the situation. Little things that are child appropriate, but actually work. So I am trying to show my kids how to deal with different possible upsetting situation. Because you can only talk or lecture so much before any child, hey even some adults, will stop listening. I cold keep going with sample, and observations and I am so certain that many of parents are teaching or doing things that they prefer not to have their kids see or learn, yet they still do it and worse of all they get upset at their kids for doing what they do…I can’t comprehend that.

My Perspective:
Teach our children to really be better people than us. Stop before you react, make sure either your kids are not around or that you have a plan on how to deal with the situation, teach your kids good habits, teach your kids how to deal with the situation and not point fingers or react in anger. I know for some of us it is difficult to teach old dogs new tricks, but you know we are adults, we are for the most part intelligent, and I know that we all want what is best for our kids, it needs to start with you. The cycle needs to be broken, and don; use poverty, finances, marriage or anything else, because the way you handle all these things is the way your child will handle them…and if you step back and look at your reactions to those upsetting situations…you might be surprised that, man I look like that or I sounds like that or I did that…yah you did and your child will do it as well. So remember react properly or according to whom is watching, don’t smoke in front of your kids, don’t drink in front of your kids, don’t display anger towards your husband or wife in front of your kids, there is a time and place for everything…remember your child needs you to teach them the right way…the way you wish you can do…but are stick in those old habits. Your child will be a better, happier, more successful person when he grows up.

Thanks for reading till next time…Latino Man signing off.

2010-07-21T21:14:00.000-07:00

Friends with Benefits - Your "Get out of monogamy free" card?
By: Kate McGovern

Of all the pop culture representations of “friends with benefits,” Monica and Chandler might have made it look the easiest. On “Friends,” those two hopped into bed after years of platonic buddy-hood, briefly kept it casual, and then lived happily ever after. Research shows that this is unlikely in real life—off-screen, only about 10% of friends with benefits (FWB) turn into lasting romances. And anyway, since sex-with-no-commitment is what appeals to a majority of FWB participants, the Monica/Chandler resolution might be more nightmare than dream come true. For undergraduates and twenty-somethings, habitually strapped for time and money, the absence of dating as a prerequisite to sex sounds ideal. Sure enough, the friends with benefits relationship has become ubiquitous, especially on college campuses—but when it comes to sleeping with a pal, the morning after is rarely as straightforward as the night before.

If you haven’t done it yourself, you probably know someone who has. The odds a college student has ever had a friend with benefits are 1 in 2, with men more likely than women to report such arrangements. Among male undergraduates, the odds are 1 in 1.57 (about 64%), while for women, the number is 1 in 1.99. The rationale behind acquiring friends with benefits is rather unsurprising. Melissa Bisson and Timothy Levine, who conducted a study of FWB relationships at Michigan State, found that sexual involvement with a friend was viewed as safe and convenient. There’s also the comfort factor: many young people prefer to have sex with a person they know and trust, rather than that cute stranger at the bar. So an FWB situation is a happy medium between an actual romantic commitment and a casual hook up.

Isn’t it? Possibly not, says sex educator Yvonne K. Fulbright. Fulbright argues that a big problem with friends with benefits is that communication within the friendship itself breaks down. Bisson and Levine, too, found that about half of all FWB participants at Michigan State reported uncertainty about the relationship, and a majority of these said that those concerns were not addressed.

There is also the risk of one person developing more intense feelings for the other—the omnipresent threat of “wanting more.” Popular wisdom suggests that this is the biggest pitfall of friends with benefits, and indeed, about 81% of the respondents in the Michigan State study cited the development of romantic feelings as a key disadvantage.

Someone might get jealous, too. Even though there’s no official commitment, it can be hard to see the person you’re sleeping with flirting with someone else. The odds an undergraduate describes him- or herself as a jealous person are 1 in 1.79 (about 56%), and a large-scale study published in the College Student Journal found that students who described themselves as jealous were more likely to have friends with benefits than those who did not. While this might seem contradictory, perhaps it reflects a tendency for jealousy-inclined young people to avoid the challenges of committed relationships—or maybe the FWB precedes the jealous feelings, with the peculiar dynamic of a sexually involved friendship drawing out the green-eyed monster.

Either way, the research (and common sense) suggests that the friends with benefits scenario has its own risks. In the end, one in four FWB relationships ends with both the friendship and the sex broken off, and a third call off the sex—presumably when things get complicated—but manage to salvage the friendship. So sure, you can buy a t-shirt promoting friends with benefits, or find rules of the game online, but once you’ve hopped into bed with a friend, getting out can be much more challenging.

My Perspective:
I'm a bit scared to send my kids off to college...geez. I could say more, but I best keep my comments to myself...by the way...where canI get a shirt like that...LOL.

Thanks for reading, till next time Latino Man signing off.

2010-07-15T21:55:00.000-07:00

Alone
by seemeemee© of Literotica.com

it's not a new sensation for her. Lately her husband has been working every possible hour nights to earn more money. To get ahead. What this means to her is that he is gone off to work by the time she gets home with only a curt text message saying he let the dogs out.

But lately, this being alone has turned into a jagged stone in her belly, a sandbag in her head. Too heavy to bear. Since moving to the country she has no one familiar with whom to visit, commiserate, only her dogs. She has taken to traveling the country roads for hours on end. Mindlessly searching for something, anything that would give that feeling of connection, belonging, and love.

In her travels she discovered a little used fishing area in a forest preserve running along a river. Every now and then there will be fisherman there, but they go to the river for fish, not to visit with a woman alone with her thoughts. For the last three nights, since discovering it, she has been drawn there, to the solitude of the suspension bridge over the farm culvert that leads to the trail to the river.

On her second visit she invited her husband to join her when he sent a text on his night off. But he was off on his motorcycle and enjoying himself. Alone again, she sat in the middle of the bridge and sipped her beer. Enjoying the swing and sway as the fisherman came and went, but wishing for arms around her, lips to brush her neck.

On her third visit, a very dark evening with the promise of heavy storms, she sat as usual on the bridge, drank her beer and smoked her cigarettes, a new habit to deaden the weight of loneliness. As the storm built, she was alone, no fisherman ventured out to this secluded place. She thought of the building pressure in herself, the emptiness of not having someone to hold her, scold her for being morose, love her. She placed her hands above her head on the cable and felt the yearning for the stretch of her muscles, a sudden desire to be tied to the cable. Possessed by a lover who would fill this need. When the beer was gone and the storm breaking both around her and in her, she lay back on the bridge and ran her hands over her breasts, her stomach, her thighs. Feeling the rain falling down on her trying, wishing it would wash away the need. But the tension in the air only added to the tension in her body. Each crash of thunder, only made her body quicken, desiring now the contact of any type, she slipped off her shorts and began to caress herself. Knowing, and not caring, that no one would venture out and find her. Feeling the warmth of her lips, the wetness of her need. She fantasized about a lover who would tie her to this very bridge and take her. Stretch her desire and take what he wanted. She rubbed furiously at her clit and lips, every now and then plunging her fingers into her empty, waiting vagina for more moisture, to quench her need. The orgasm, when it came was a relief of some of her tension, but was empty. There was no lover to hold her, caressing her body whispering his pleasure in her ear.

On her fourth trip to the river she gave into the pull of the water and stripped away her clothes, her inhibitions, waded into the moonlit water and floated in the arms of her imaginary lover. Her breasts floated on the water like two white orbs, to match the moon in the sky. She reached up and played with her nipples, imagining once again that the emptiness could be filled, that the hands on her breasts were that of the man she loved. Rolling over and diving into the depths, she felt engulfed by the warm water, completely in tune with the needs of her body.

Floating free on the river, her mind given over to need and desire, again she began to stroke herself, floating weightless she attempted to bring that harmony, that weightless release of sweet orgasm as she rubbed and fondled herself. The tension built, and ebbed like the gentle waves of the river. A lover teasing her to distraction. Finally in one last explosive push she burst with ecstasy into that realm of peace, floating above herself. Her need, for now, assuaged.

She climbed back out of the river, collected her clothes and stood naked, drip drying on the bridge. Still alone, but with her secret lover, the river, no longer quite so lonely, knowing it would be there to fill and surround her again, when the emptiness became to unbearable.

2010-07-14T21:01:00.000-07:00

Office Drama – Drama - Drama

The other day I was thinking, as adults, well mostly parents, we have a tendency to try and lessen, for a better choice of a word, the drama our kids give us day in day out. I am sure most of us have been through or going through the daily drama’s our kids give us, whether they are small children with their tantrums or little individualism that crashes up against us everyday to the dramas of handling a teenager, we as adults frown upon that, we yell, ground, place in time-outs, but if you look closely it never changes, it becomes a routine. And the worst part of it all is that we have all been through it as children and teenagers; we were the same way with our parents and our parents were the same way, yah ok, as parents now, our parents would give us a backhand if we were out of place, now-a-days handing out a backhand is condemned by society so we try and avoid that as much as possible, so instead you ground the children or take away privileges’ and we know that only lasts for so long. So all the Drama our children give us and the drama we have to handle becomes a routine in our lives and we do it day in and day out.

It’s funny how parents do really know better, but of course Teenagers as well as young children test us everyday and you know we allow it, because besides punishing them or getting upset, we do nothing else to try and get rid of that habit or tantrum or whatever we may call it, we simply deal with it again when it comes up. So I ask, WHY can’t we have a generation of off-springs that will actually stop and listen to an adult, especially parents and say…”Ok you know I better not do that because my mom/dad told me that this would be the consequence, ok I won’t”, but of course that isn’t the case, as teenagers as well as young kids they go forward and do the things that is forbidden and then of course we get angry and ground and the cycle continues. Why is that? We as parents do our best to set a good example, you know, show them that hard work pays off, or that going to college actually gives you a better chance to land a job, or that being prepared for the future is the right thing to do, or of course not to sleep with anyone unless you have taken the proper precautions. Now, I have being told by other parents that we can raise our kids to be the best they could be, but that there is always someone out there, other kids, adults or groups, whatever the case may be that could possibly change the direction of our kids. But I say, if you educate your kids, lead by example, support them, and actually have some real stern ground rules and punishments in place, then why would someone have the capability to brainwash or lead your child in a different direction. Drugs, simply say no thanks, you a whose, well thank you, but I am a healthy whose, I mean I understand that it is human nature to try different things and of course it is human curiosity that pushes us to try or do forbidden things, but let’s say that you can show your kids these things and do it in a controlled environment, with you, let’s say, maybe then they will learn from you on how to handle these situations when these scenarios present themselves to them. I mean they do say that kids our a reflection of there parents or at least they absorb our habits, whether good or bad – hmm.

Anyhow, I wanted to lead into the whole drama thing into adults and of course work environment. We as parents can’t get away from the drama. You remember little Johnny always crying because he never got a turn or would never win, well believe me when I tell you that it doesn’t go away while at work or even dealing with adults, there are many adults that act as their kids do and the situations almost reflect what we see with kids…it is amazing. Ok, prime example…most companies work on “Productivity” and in order to get merit increases or recognition or even bonuses, companies associate a Point value to the type of work you perform, so lets say for every widget you make you get a point, but in order to meet a Productive day, you need 30 points or build 30 widgets, so in addition if you are being considered for a bonus you need meet 90% quality on those widgets. Now lets say that you are in the second part of the process, where you get a rough widget and you job is to smooth it out and add decals. So, you among lets say another 5 people do this job, and you all reach into a pile of rough widgets…the thing is for some reason you are faster so you happen to take more rough widgets, or once in a blue moon a special widget comes through and they ask if you can finish it. Now this can create issues, those other finishers in your group might now get as many widgets so they might not meet their goal for either production needs or their bonus incentives. Those other finishers, get upset, make a scene, talk directly to a supervisor or manager and then the manager needs to place a few rules and send a global memo stating that we all need to share in the wealth so be conscience on what you are taking. So I ask, in consideration to others, should you slow down and produce less?

I mean drama never seems to leave you, why is it that some parents get upset about their children’s drama, when they themselves can’t seems to stop with their drama. Come one, I am really certain that all of you out in the workforce, hey even just hanging with your friends, you run into drama, and truthfully you secretly say to yourself…”Are you serious, are these people for real”. Yah we all go through it, one way or another we see it and maybe it does not affect us directly but sometimes we are the ones that need to handle it…go figure. I just hope that those that handle the drama created by others do not have their own drama as well.

I am amazed at what you see at work, with friends, family, kids, significant other, I mean it is all around us and yet we do nothing to try and change it…yah ok you are thinking to yourself…”how can I”…”it is impossible to change something you can’t”, so why bother. Well, you know…”Heck with that”…I think we can, and we need to start with us, ourselves first…we need to learn to handle situations without making drama, there are ways to communicate what you want without sounding or looking like the end of the world has come. Once you have been able to get away from the drama you make, then you can start with those around you; kids, significant others, family. Yah I know you can push your values, wills, etc. onto others and you really shouldn’t but you have every right not to have to deal with drama from others, so people that care about you will respect your wishes and believe me, they will eventually thank you for removing yet another piece of “Drama” from their lives as well.

My Perspective:
As for the Job drama, times are tough, so maybe slowing down would be the correct thing to do, well maybe not the correct thing to do, but a temporary fix, while the economy gets better, maybe slowing down is wise. Once things pick up, then see nothing wrong with shining at work, showing them that you are a hard worker, you deserve the recognition, you have earned a place with the company…because you know why, this will flow over to your home life, if you are recognized, then you are a better person, and your family and friends will noticed it and be grateful and appreciative of your happiness…yah slow down for now and wait for the right moment to shine once again. As for the Drama with adults, you know…we need to start with us and make changes within ourselves before we can start changing the things around us. And if you think you can’t change people or you shouldn’t, well, if they care, truly, about you, they will respective your wishes and well eventually thank you for removing apiece of drama from their lives as well. Learn to react to things around you, stimulus, learn to communicate what you need in a relaxed, professional, calm tone…and if you catch yourself starting a little drama…hey why not…stop and count to 10 backwards and try again…communication is the key to everything…I mean that…everything. We need to be able to communicate what we want, but communicate it properly…I promise that it will lift some unnecessary weight off of you.

Thanks for reading and I hope to touch on this topic again. Be safe and Drama Free.

2010-07-07T20:34:00.000-07:00

The Health of the US and other Countries

You know I am in the Real Estate business, and I have seen, well I am sure we have all seeing, how the market in regards to Real Estate is faltering. Yah…it’s a great time for all cash out investors or buyers looking for bargains, but even with cash out…it seems that closing a deal, honestly, still seems to drag on and on. With that said, I wanted to share some things I have been reading and of course just give my opinion on the matter.
The economy fluctuates in line with what the Media reports, not really what the DOW index illustrates or what the feds might do or not do. That’s my opinion, yah the feds might increase or decrease the Interest rate, yah the DOW Jones dropped 200 points or goes up 200 points, or maybe the dollar goes weaker or stronger, but when the news media hypes up little news, maybe, actually they blow it up out of proportion, then the market reacts…and people then react. But you know, what I see is a lot of young folks, not really aware of what is going on, seriously…maybe their approach is to ride this out and not let them affect them, but when they loose their job and they can’t find something quick enough, what then, does it become an issue then. Do they begin to pay attention to the news, the media, and the economy and wonder why they can’t find a job or why the cost of milk suddenly went up 0.50 cents or more?

It’s sad to see, I seriously try not to let it affect me, but I do have to keep up with the information and news flashes, but I do not have to buy into all the hype, just get the information I need to make solid decisions. And maybe because I have a family that might be another reason I am so vigilant on what is going on. I mean I have to consider my children and their welfare for their future. I can’t have the little I have saved for them disappear into a void or something. I need to make decision to move investments around to support a growth. Yah, growth you say, there is still some growth, just need to look for it, whether it is an international investment or a safe investment of 1.75 or more percent return…hey something is better than loosing. I know many of us are looking for that 6 to 12% return, but we need o be vigilant about it. I am sure many of you have your stories to tell, the hardships, the success you might be encountering, am sure there are also many out there that don’t really bother keeping up and pretty much take each day as it comes and deal with it one thing at a time. But for some of us, we like to be prepared for the future, many of us do look forward to retirement and leaving something for our children, you know even if it is small, but something that could help them along once they complete school. Oh yah and don’t get me started on the whole higher education costs, that’s something many of us are dealing with or will be dealing with…how do we prepare for that? Vigilant, look, read but don’t read too much into it, get the information you need to make solid decision or at least some type of decision.

Indicators state that foreclosures are on the rise again, that States are falling behind and actions are needed to make things flow, sometimes those actions are not welcome by individuals, and sometimes decisions are hard to make, especially in today’s economy, but what would help if these steps, by our government are not taken? What can be done…we all seems to have a solution, but if you look really into your solutions would it really help, or would it simply divert the issue out for a longer time or towards another group of individuals…I mean…we all can offer solutions…but when it is done and said…hard decisions will have to be made.
I guess this topic could lead into a book about the United States Economic crash of the 2000’s and a conversation that cold potentially be endless…geez. Can you see it?

My Perspective:
This topic; our economy; the health of the United States and of many other countries is in the public eye. We need to all listen, watch and keep up with what is going on around us, simply because it does affect you in someway, maybe not now and hopefully never, but the people, friends, family around you…are affected…and somehow that could lead right back to you. So, keep watching, listen and I wish everyone the best and just hang in there…we are an incredible species, we are resilient, innovative, and strong…we will make it through and better days will once again be upon us, but hopefully with this lesson, we learned not to over indulge in things we really don’t need, but enjoy the simpler things in life.

Thanks for reading, till next time.

2010-06-22T21:24:00.000-07:00

7 Secrets to a Sexy Marriage
by Reader's Digest Magazine, on Mon Apr 19, 2010 6:33am PDT By Sarì Harrar and Rita DeMaria, Ph.D., Adapted from The 7 Stages of Marriage

How to get the love you want.

Every marriage has its bumps, and they can pop up at any time. What's important is that you learn to navigate them smoothly -- before they send your relationship into a ditch.

No matter how far along the marriage highway you've gone, there are some simple, fundamental rules of the road. Putting them into practice isn't always easy, but it's critical. If you do play by the rules, you'll make your marriage stronger, and the good stuff -- fun, sex, trust, affection -- will be better than ever.

1. Build up your love balance. Boredom, frustration and everyday irritations can douse the spark between you and your spouse -- and more of the same certainly won't feed the flame. Making the good stuff your top priority will. Here's how to do it:

First, consider that it takes up to 20 positive statements to outweigh the harm done by one negative one -- or by a steely squint or impatient "humph." So do more of the former, less of the latter. Compliment your wife on her new shoes, or your husband on his new blue shirt. Thank him for helping around the house. Dial her office for a quick "thinking of you" check-in (don't discuss household chores or bad report cards).

Be sure these compliments and thank-yous are heartfelt and specific: "I can always count on you to make sure my car is safe and ready to use." "This new tablecloth is nice -- you're always thinking of ways to make our home pleasant." Make eye contact when you smile or deliver a compliment. Try a little joyful noise (a happy sigh, say) when giving a loving touch.
Once you take this approach, you'll realize that, in addition to knowing how to push Mr. or Mrs. Right's hot buttons, you know how to push his or her joy buttons too (and we don't just mean sex). After all, that's how this whole thing started. It won't be long before you appreciate that it's always the right time for small acts of love. Give him a "glad to see you" hug and kiss when you get home. Surprise her with coffee in bed on a rainy Sunday (then stay to talk). Revel in the best qualities; let faults slide. Flash your "I'm so happy we're here together" smile as you schlep the recycling bin to the curb. Resolve to enjoy a long kiss before you turn in each night. You do little things for your kids. Why not for your spouse?

2. Reach out. Human touch aids the release of feel-good endorphins, for giver and receiver. So link arms as you walk into the grocery store. Brush her cheek with your fingertips when you smooch good morning. Revive the ways you touched in the early days -- a kiss on the back of the ear, a hand through her hair. Touch is a complex language. It pays to improve your vocabulary.

Adding more of this kind of touch will help you build a fortress of love. That's important, because a couple who form a tight unit can weather any storm (and are better able to stave off infidelity). How do you build this bond? First, support your soul mate. Take his or her side whenever possible if trouble arises in the "outside world." Keep your spouse's secrets to yourself, even when everyone at work spills theirs. Except in a true emergency, don't let anything interrupt "us" time. That's what voice mail and bedroom-door locks are for.

Speaking of "us" time: Make a commitment to spend up to 30 minutes a day chatting with each other about everyday plans, goals and, yes, dreams. One rule: no household-management or "what about our relationship" talk. This is time to build a friendship. Studies show that being friends pays off over time, ensuring a closer, sexier union. And don't forget to make time for intimacy, even if you must log it in your day planner. Schedule sex? Absolutely, if necessary. Spontaneity is great, but if either of you hungers for affection or physical love, don't wait for that special moment.

Another thing you shouldn't wait for: chances to celebrate success. Super Bowl victors. World Series champs. Gold-medal skiers. They all have one thing in common: When they win, they party. And even small victories deserve recognition. If your marriage is humming along, that alone is worth celebrating. Dine out where you proposed. Or book a midwinter-deal trip to Paris. You've earned it.

3. Remember -- nobody's perfect. It's tempting to blame your spouse when you feel angry, disappointed, bored, betrayed or stressed out about your marriage. Then it's a short hop to seeing your mate as the one who must change for the marriage to improve.

That's a cop-out. Trying to improve your spouse puts him or her on the defensive and casts you in a dreary role. The result? Nobody changes. Nobody takes responsibility. Everyone is unhappy. And making your spouse the bad guy means ignoring the 90 percent of him or her that's good.
The true fix: Change yourself. When you address your own flaws and seek the best in your spouse, magic happens. Optimism increases. Your spouse feels better because he or she feels appreciated, not chastised. And you both feel motivated to change in ways that lead to even more joy.

One tip to help get you thinking this way: Adopt the Japanese philosophy of imperfection, wabi sabi ("wah-bee sah-bee"), which applies well to real-life love. Next time your guy or gal does something annoying, take a breath, mutter "wabi sabi" and remind yourself that his or her intentions are good, even if the execution isn't. At the same time, don't ignore what's good in your spouse. Each day this month, pick something, big or small, that you like about him or her. Then name it. For example: "My wife is thoughtful" or "My husband makes me laugh." Then think of a specific act that backs it up: "She brushed the snow off my windshield last week." "If I'm feeling blue, he'll joke me out of it."

Finally, honor your own imperfections. Sometimes we blame ourselves for all that's off kilter in our marriage. Too much guilt can paralyze. So, think of qualities you value, tell yourself you have them and think up real-world examples. "I am loving and kind -- I gave my spouse the last cookie yesterday." "I am honest -- I tell her what I'm really thinking."

4. Add some zing. The classic advice experts give to singles seeking a perfect match: Be "the one" to attract "the one." Same goes in marriage. The happier you feel, the happier your marriage will be, and the easier it will be to manage conflicts. If 15 minutes of morning yoga, a switch to decaf, or a new hobby gives you a relaxed zing, the good feelings can't help but lead to happier, richer moments together.

Meanwhile, admit it: You used to fuss over your hair and obsess over the sexiest item to wear to bed. Now, it's stained sweats and a ratty Rolling Stones T-shirt. Time to spruce up your look. Comb that mane, brush those teeth and throw on a new robe. Feeling good about the way you look makes your eyes sparkle. You're more likely to make eye contact. That sends a spark to your spouse. You know what to do next!

5. Always fight fair. Conflict is a normal, even healthy, part of any marriage. What's important is how you handle it. In a Florida study of longtime couples, joint problem-solving ability was cited as a key factor for 70 percent of satisfied pairs; just 33 percent of unsatisfied couples had mastered this skill. With the right tools and attitude, conflict becomes a gateway to deeper intimacy -- the chance to be seen and loved for who you truly are, to accept your mate's adorable, vulnerable real self, and to build a strong union without caving in or silently seething.
First, steer clear of criticism, confrontation and hostility. They're like gas on a fire. University of California researchers who followed 79 couples for more than a decade found that early divorcers fought long and loud and were always on the attack -- or the defensive. Happy couples, on the other hand, avoid verbalizing critical thoughts, keep discussions from escalating, and don't use absolutes like "never" and "always."

If a fight does start, try to change the subject, inject gentle humor, empathize or show your spouse extra appreciation. Too late? Call a truce, walk away and cool off for a while.

6. Pick the right time and place. Don't start potentially tough talks if you're not well rested and well fed. Hunger and fatigue can unleash nasty remarks and dark thoughts. Ban booze for the same reason. Save it for when you've achieved detente. That's worth a toast.

Don't ever try to deal with serious marital issues if you've got one eye on something else. Turn off the TV, the phone, the laptop. Close the catalog.

If you're distracted or going out the door, pick another time to talk. You can't resolve conflicts on the fly.

Remember, too, that how you handle these situations doesn't just affect you. Is the conversation G-rated? Will it end happily? If not, stop and reschedule for when the kids aren't around. When they are, keep things respectful and productive. Research shows that children thrive (and absorb good relationship skills) when parents resolve issues constructively, but develop insecurities and behavior problems when exposed to hopeless shoutfests.

7. Open your ears. The single most powerful step you can take to keep a marriage solid? Speak less and listen more. Blame, insults, criticism and bullying predict a bad end, or at least a living hell. When talk turns combative, don't interrupt, offer a solution or defend yourself too soon. When feelings are at issue, they need to be heard. So nod, rephrase or provide a soft "um-hum" to show you honor the emotions behind the words. Sometimes, all we really need to do to feel closer to someone is pay closer attention to what it is that they're saying.

My Perspective:
Oh Yah, we can read hundreds of these articles, tips, suggestions, or stories, but the truth in the matter is that if both people in the relationship do not attempt to work together through anything, then having one person trying and trying will eventually get old and tiring. I am only saying, that these tips sound fantastic, but both of you need to follow through. In all relationships, the most importnt ingridient is "Communication", plain and simple. So, if this articles helps you or at least provides some ideas, i wish you the best, if not, then you both need to talk, and if that doesn;t work, then you both need to move on...yah...yah...children maybe involved, but honestly happy parents are better parents.

Till next time, thanks for reading...Latino Man signing off.

People That Actual Work -

2010-06-19T21:50:00.000-07:00

You know the other day I was sitting at work, I was just looking around; I happen to have an actual break in my work, because I am usually working full steam ahead all day everyday. Which is very cool because it makes for the day to go by faster, but anyhow, so I sat there maybe 15 minutes and I realized that 90% of the office noise does not come from office equipment…really…just listen. Ok sat there and started listening and the noise was from all the conversations going on around me…and believe me they were not work related.

I sat there watching and listening and of course I saw maybe one or two people actually working, the thing is they were fairly new and were trying to keep the job, the others were mostly older veterans of the company; they were pretty much slacking. So I was wondering, if we have the majority of the employees slacking, for the lack of a better word, doesn’t that actually mean a loss in production, the relating to a loss in revenue…I mean…I am all for having a life outside and inside a job, but lets say you owned the company and literally were able to calculate the loss related to all socializing that goes on when people should be working. Ok I am not saying that people can’t take a breather and chat about the weekend or economy…but to spend two to three hours talking and then jumping on the internet for another two three hours, while your work is piling up…come on. I mean when I hear some of the calls they get and they try and explain the reason why it was not completed, my eye almost come out. I hear things such as; my computer was running slow, I had other things to do, I am waiting for the fax or email…and yet they are talking, surfing the net and taking long breaks…or extra breaks….wow. Believe me I am not saying not to socialize at work, but seriously…that is a lot of time wasted…you know and they wonder why they are not getting raises. Wait, actually I think what happens is that when companies set goals for individuals, and the employee can meet it, maybe exceed it a little within 2-3 hours of work…they then have a tendency to slack the rest of the day…5-6 hours…wow. It is mind boggling, but I happens…try it your self…just observe for a full day, look at all the employees and you’ll see what I am talking about…yah…yah that means you’ll not work for a day, but I think you can pull your self away from the internet or chatter enough time to try this experiment…just saying.

So, how should companies react or deal with when they finally realize all the time spend on chatting, surfing, long or extra breaks…hmmm. Only saying…I was amazed to see the amount of time not related to actual work…wait…I almost forgot…how about the smokers or the personal phone calls…and not to mention the texting that goes on during work…I see people texting …I mean …texting for hours at there desk…you walk by and they are texting, an hour later you walk by again and there fingers are vigorously moving…then you sit down and look up ever so often to see them still texting…its crazy…anyways…don’t look at me as a tyrant, I am only pointing out something I observed.

My Perspective:
The next time you complain about not getting a raise, or being over looked for that management position, please step back and tell yourself what have you done to get noticed, some type of recognition or maybe not credit but they know your name in a good way; if you answer “nothing really” except for what my job description tell me to do, then sit back down and stop complaining. If you want to get those raises and those management positions, then start working…only saying.
Thanks for reading till next time Latino Man signing off.

Office Environment

2010-06-18T22:02:00.000-07:00

I’m not sure if anyone one knows Dilbert; it’s a comic strip you could read in the news paper. Anyhow, I look back at some of the strips and you know it’s funny, but man, they are so true. The other day I was talking to a colleague and we were talking about some of the strips and how when you look around, where we work its scary but so true. Anyhow, sometimes I am sitting there at my desk working and its amazing at what you hear, I think people forget that they are in the middle of the room and they might think they are whispering or maybe they think no one is listening, but every so often things are said and my eyes pop out…WOW.

Ok, well the office environment might nit be for everyone, I have been told by family and friends that they would rather be working outside in the sun, doing hard labor…and the thought of been cooped up in a build all day long, looking though the blinds seeing the sun and blue skies, just would not be the thing for them…I sort of laugh and then I tell them of some of the things I hear and they smirk…hmmm…well then maybe it would be fun…NAH.

So, anyhow, the whole office environment sort of grows on you and actually you need to work with a special set of people in order for you to enjoy doing your job, now of course it is important to enjoy what you do, but of course having the right people working next to you can make a huge difference. I mean think about it, if you sat next to a quite, nerdy person that really did not get involved in office life it might make for long days, of course some actually enjoy the quite cubicle mate. Now, of course you have those neighbors that well…you know…yapp up a storm and pretty much share everything and anything with you…sometimes it could be sort of weird…but other times it really is funny…and you think you had it bad…well…just stop and listen to your cubicle mates you might be in for a surprise and realize your life is not so bad…LOL….only saying.

You know though, things have changed even in the office environment, people really don’t talk as much and are almost looking over their shoulder every second of the day, or wondering if the next day they will still have a job to come to; this makes for a very stressful office environment, but I guess the way you can look at it, is that hey…you have a J.O.B. doesn’t make it right, but you know the pot locks, the birthday decorations the special events, they have sort of disappeared form today’s corporate world…and people have had no real reason to socialize at work. Now, it seems that with the combination of the economy, extra work duties, finances at home, has led to more outside gathering that are mostly Happy Hours…people are taking to drinking to enjoy a peaceful moment and forget the worries of that they…even if for a few hours. But this can lead to many issues later in their life that could put them out of work…but it seems to be a norm…what can you say.

Talking about drinking and today’s youth; I have noticed a huge shift to Vodka as been the choice of drink…and the majority of consumption by the younger generation….I hear it everywhere, at work, online, forums, chats, emails, friends…everywhere…wow. I recall that a 40 was the big thing back in the day, now its Red Bull and vodka…LOL. So, what causes these changes, beside the economy creating stress? I mean I know we all have been through a generation of craziness, but what brings about the change, ok…well.I guess it could be the media, celebrities’, or maybe it’s just a new thing that catches on at school…weird. Anyways…so back to the Dilbert thing, once again if you get a chance read a few strips, I believe now you can find it online…nice…and see what you think…I am telling you…it is totally funny and scary true.

My perspective:
Work hard at work, but keep them ears perched, because you never know what you might catch. I know mom said never to listen in on other peoples conversation and never interrupt a conversation or only speak when spoken to…but come on…we need to keep on top of things and the office is a great place for NEWS FLASHES…lol.

So, I’ll cut it short here and try and be back again…I know I have been slacking on my posts, but I try and pick up the paste…you know I have so many thing son my mind…to share…I just need to start sharing…well…ok…I need to make time and start typing and posting. Till next time Latino Man signing off.

2010-06-01T21:20:00.000-07:00

What does your sleep position reveal about your personality?
by Jessica Ashley, Shine staff, on Mon Apr 26, 2010 12:55pm PDT

These days, the way that I sleep simply says, "I am happy to be single and spending five to seven hours sprawled out in the center of my bed alone."

At other points, my tightly squeezed eyes and curled-up body would have screamed, "I know the baby will wake up/someone will start snoring/the alarm will begin blaring as soon as I finally, finally, finally get to sleep."

Years and years ago, the corpse-looking college student still in her clothes would have mumbled something like, "Finals. Boys. Beer."

Our lives, the amount of sleep we get, and how well we actually rest during those nighttime hours may change drastically over time. However, one sleep researcher says that our body position in bed could say something about who we are, not just what else is happening in our lives.
Professor Chris Idzikowski, director of the Sleep Assessment and Advisory Service, says that a study of 1,000 Brits revealed that the six most common sleeping positions are indicative of personality types.

If this sounds ridiculous (and honestly, I'd love to see information on this study and the analysis fleshed out further than any of the reports I could find), consider that Idzikowski says it comes down to body language.

"We are all aware of our body language when we are awake but this is the first time we have been able to see what our subconscious posture says about us," Idzikowski said. "What's interesting is that the profile behind the posture is often very different from what we would expect."

The research also links certain sleeping positions with health risks. Some aid digestion while others spur on snoring and restlessness.

Here are the six common sleeping positions and correlated personality traits and health implications, according to this study.

[graphic via BBC.com]

Fetus position - A whopping 41% of participants sleep in this curled-up manner. Women are twice as likely to rest like this and it is listed as the most common position. These sleepers are said to have a tough exterior but are still sensitive and may appear to be shy but warm up quickly.

Log position - If you sleep on your side with both arms down, you are a social, easy-going person who is trusting, sometimes to the point of being gullible. The study showed 15% of people sleep like a log.

Yearner position - A close third is the side-lying position with both arms out in front of the body, with 13% of partipants sleeping like this. Yearners are noted to be open-minded and still cynical, suspicious, and stubborn about sticking to decisions once they are made.

Soldier position - These sleepers lie on their backs with arms down and kept close to the body. This 8% study is said to be reserved, quiet, without fuss, and hold themselves and others to a high standard. Soldier sleepers have a higher likelihood for snoring due to the flat-back position, which may not cause them to wake up often but may result in a less restful night's sleep.

Freefall position - Those people who lie on their bellies with arms under or wrapped around a pillow with head turned to the side, make up 7% of the population studied. Freefallers are brash, outgoing, and are very uncomfortable with criticism.

Starfish position - Sleepers who lie on their backs with arms up near their head or the pillow account for 5% of participants. These people are good listeners, helpful, and are uncomfortable being the center of attention. People who sleep in starfish position are more likely to snore and to suffer from a poor night's sleep more often.

If you think you are one of those people who move through all of these positions, that's not likely to really be the case. Idzikowski said the research reveals most people stay in the same position all night and only 5% lay differently night by night. Also interesting is that the study showed only one in ten people cover their bodies entirely with a blanket, with most people exposing an arm, leg, or both feet.

The Economy – Are You Serious

2010-05-17T20:50:00.000-07:00

So, I am sure you seen the big bail out of Greece, nearly $1 Trillion in a rescue package. Yah the first day it was approved the stock market shot up, but now look at it, today May 14, 2010, it is down 170 points. And the news flash concerns on Greece, Spain and Portugal tightening up its economy/market. Come on now, are you serious, how much more money, that we do not have, are we going to give out. Your are telling me that there won’t be other countries asking for relief as well. That once they see that money is being given away, countries won’t be asking for a piece of the pie. But how much more pie is there, wait, ok, so really what this means is that we are borrowing from the future money, we don’t have yet, but somehow we will be paying that for the next 30 or 40 years, hey wait maybe out kids…kids will continue to pay.

I’m only saying, how many times are the Countries Governments going to dip their hands into the cookie jar? So you tell me this, when the US gets a Junk Rating, who will bail the US out, do you think that $1 Trillion dollars would do the trick for the US, by the time it happens, hopefully it never happens, but let’s assume it did happen, wouldn’t that be a scary situation.

You know everyone can point the finger and blame the housing market, then they can direct the blame to the Brokers, then everyone can point their fingers to the Lenders. Wait, why stop there, lets point the fingers to the Oil companies, oh come on…I think since there are so many people pointing fingers, hmm…let’s just say 1000 people, each with 10 fingers, hmm that comes out to 10,000 fingers that we can all point to someone else, right. Are you serious, I mean come on…people, step back and take a deep breath and let’s really get to the bottom of this. Stop listening to the Media, we all know that bad news sells, so why listen to the Media’s over inflated concerns, tactics, used to delivery news, so as to make it more dramatic…you know this and I know this.

Now, first of all the Governments need to stop handing out money like it is growing on trees, unless there is something I don’t know and it is, but really stop handing out money. Ok, I am struggling like many Americans and actually people in other countries, no raise in 3 years, hours cut, and prices of everything going up. Ok, don’t come crying to me about being out of a job, and loosing your house, car, boats, etc. Ok…just because I haven’t got there YET, doesn’t mean I won’t be soon. Let’s all just take a deep breath, again, and try to resolve the issues, real issues, and not just give out money like it’s a new fad - wait it is a new fad. I’m not all saying I could run things better, or that my ideas will work for everyone and every situation, because in life nothing is exactly the same and everything has exceptions…to exceptions. But the countries need to put a foot down, wait…no not the government…the PEOPLE need to put their foot down and demand, real solutions…remember this, Lao Tzu - "Give a Man a Fish, Feed Him For a Day. Teach a Man to Fish, Feed Him For a Lifetime".

Lets learn from this, really, lets not look back and start thinking about what we need to do for the future, a better future, the mistakes we did, who we allowed to make ridiculous mistakes, mainly our government…I am only saying. The people need to take back what is rightfully theirs…and start fresh and make things happen. One voice can make a difference, but imagine the MASSES, all our voices as one, yah ok…may sound far fetch, but we can do it.

What am I getting at, We the people need to put our foot down and stop letting these politicians make decisions that we obviously do not agree with and are obviously going to hurt us more and our children. Yah some of you are saying, yah your one to talk, how come you are not doing something, well I am, I started with this post and hope that some where someone will click and start the process. We need to stand together and stop pointing fingers and work towards a REAL solution.

My perspective:
When you point a finger, three point right back to you. so really are you serious. Lets step back and take a deep breath and stop allowing these politicians in making decision we don’t agree on. Let’s make our voice heard and put a foot down. We need real solutions, instead of all this money being giving away. That’s my thoughts, personal feelings and I could go on, but remember I am not saying I am right, or that what I am saying is concrete…only sharing my idea and hope to rile up some folks.

Thanks for reading, till next time…be safe….listen closely…don’t believe everything you read, instead actually read between lines, because if a story sounds to good to be true, it usually has a hidden agenda.

Socializing – What ever Happen to Meeting Someone for Coffee or Drinks?

2010-05-15T07:44:00.000-07:00

Socializing

Something I have come to realize, not that I wasn’t aware of it before, just that I really did not pay attention to it. The thing I noticed, is people really do not socialize any more. Everything is done through emails, social sites, such as Face Book, My Space, Link In and many other social sites out there that maybe don’t get the media attention they should. But, I remember a time when people went out, got together with friends, for some drinks, places where you met other people, maybe leading to a date or maybe a new friend. Sometimes the club scene was a place to go and meet that possible special someone, ok, maybe that is now far behind us and maybe you can’t meet the Ms. Right or Mr. Right at clubs, but it doesn’t mean you didn’t have fun doing it. Maybe at church gatherings, or a BBQ at a friends house, something outside your home, where you actually interact with people.

See now, a day’s people use the Internet and social sites to share, pictures, thoughts, send happy birthdays and so much more. The actual human interaction is no longer there. I mean, when you are at work, how many times do you actually say “Good Morning” to someone or a simple hello. I think in years to come, people might have an issue with human interaction. Ok, I am not trying to take it to the extreme, just saying that we have come to rely on computers for everything and we simply sit at our computers and email someone a happy birthday or upload pictures to a site. Then in return we go onto friend’s and family’s site and look at pictures, comments placed by friends or family just to see what’s new in their life. I remember when cell phones were big, people were on the phone talking all the time for hours, but never bothering to actually see a friend. Now, we have Text Messaging, so forget hearing a human voice, we now see encrypted text messages, such as, “ROFL, :oP (funny faces), OMG, TMI, LOL, and so many more characters”.

Social sites and how we communicate these days, is incredible. The funny thing is, I am a HUGE person on communication between people, couples and marriage; but you know when you log into a social site and read what your loved one is thinking or doing, then I think lack of communication has been taken to a whole new level. I mean if you can’t sit with your significant other and talk person to person, but instead both of you sit at a computer looking at each others Face book and laugh about what happen to them that day, I mean all through a social network, is that now the new fad on relationships.

Does anyone remember Judge Dredd, with Sylvester Stallone, in the movie if you recall Sandra Bullock character explained that intimacy was no longer required/allowed and it was a whole Utopia kind a of world; well don’t be surprised if we continue on this path to social sites and no human interaction, that we will end up just like that. Oi.

So come folks, Peeps, Homies, Compadres, distinguished ladies and gentlemen…lets get out and mingle with live humans. So, everyone get up and go out…don’t be shy and share your thoughts, pictures and happy birthdays - in person.

My Perspective:
Social sites are great, and I am not knocking them out…ok. I just think that people need not replace these sites with actual human interaction. I know sometimes family or friends are far away in other cities, other states maybe other countries, but you know. If you can take a few hours to drive to visit with them, do so, take with you a photo album, share your ideas and experiences. Ok some of us don’t get along with family or maybe friends for that matter and actually sitting with them can lead to huge arguments, but we can’t let a few bad apples push us away from interacting with people or letting someone shoot you down because you believe in something else than they do…I mean everyone is entitled to their opinion, belief, can you imagine how boring it would be if everyone agreed on everything, one color, one type of drink, one channel…no…variety makes life interesting and how we handle the criticism, the arguments or the lemons that are thrown at us is what makes us stronger and more open minded to the many wonderful things that life has to offer. Enjoy Face Book, enjoy the email and text messages, but don’t forget how enjoyable it is talking to someone in person, laughing, seeing there facial expressions, their reactions and just simply enjoying their company….I would rather sit in person, and talk to a person, have a drink, maybe a cup of coffee, a beer, a glass of wine, what ever makes each person happy…talk, listen, laugh, learn and most importantly enjoy the company.

Thanks for reading, till next time Latino Man signing off, and remember, next time you think about emailing, texting, or placing a post on your Face Book Wall, stop and call the person, get together with them and enjoy each others company.

2010-05-14T22:10:00.000-07:00

Bedroom Tricks That Take Practically Zero Effort
by John Ortved, Single-ish, Glamour Magazine, on Fri May 7, 2010 2:10pm PDT

"She came up behind me, and all of a sudden my shorts were on the ground and I was in her mouth--I didn't even have time to put my toothbrush down!" This was recounted to me by my friend Ty (though he won't let me see his birth certificate, he insists that it's just "Ty"--not short for Tyler or Tyrone--just "Ty"), who's been dating the same woman for three years, and is as amazed as I am that their sex life is still fantastic.

Ty thinks that the biggest problem with fading sex lives isn't disinterest, but laziness; we fall into routines and we don't want to expend the effort it takes to break them. So, from Ty, myself and our friends (both girls and guys), here are three bedroom tricks that take almost no effort at all:

1. Bathroom Surprise
This involves your own version of the above, NOT kicking down the door when he's in there with the newspaper. Couples end up spending all kinds of time together in the bathroom--while she's prepping and he's showering, brushing their teeth together at night, etc--what worked for Ty was that his girlfriend's oral gift came totally unexpectedly (not 10 minutes later, when they were both in bed and sex was expected). There was a loss of control there too, which is nice for guys, like "I'm in the middle of brushing my teeth...Woahh.....ohhhh."

2. Show Don’t Tell
Many of our friends, of both sexes, like the idea of being tied up (gently), blindfolded, or a little (or a lot of) spanking. But when he or she asks permission first, some of the magic is lost. The fun, for him is the mischievous look on her face as she puts his hands above his head, and out of nowhere come the silk neck ties, or for her the sensation of all of a sudden being over his knee. Though this isn’t to say there aren’t sexy ways to ask; my friend Sienna says it drives her boyfriend to the brink when she asks him to do very naughty things in her cutest, gentlest voice)

3. Turn Off the World The phone goes off. Same with the TV, the Internet, the alarm clock and the radio. There is something magical, and very sexy, about the only noise in the room being the sounds of contact, and each other’s grunts and moans (part of me wants to retype that sentence—there is no word less sexy than “grunt”—but let’s be frank, that’s what they are, so it stays). When you put the focus on each other, you discover whole new things about each other, and whole new ways to please each other, and if it’s not clear yet, the unexpected can be the sexiest thing of all.

My Perspective:
Don't hold back, what happens betwen a man and a women while they are making love is beyond words, if things go correctly it could and should be an expereince that neither one of you will ever forget. The touching, the caressing, the kissing, the fondeling, the oral sex, the different positions, who takes control, well taking turns is fantastic. Never forget, when it comes time to get down and dirty, don't hold back, let go and enjoy.

Thanks for reading till next time...Latino Man signing off.

2010-05-13T17:04:00.000-07:00

Adding Spice to Your Marriage Sans The Extra Marital "Spice"
by Kevin, 13 hours ago

Variety helps a relationship move forward and helps keep it interesting. A woman can add variety to a relationship through various means. She should also be aware of the various ways to turn on the man. Find some useful tips here.

It’s a fact that men are more prone to boredom than women. This fact could spell disaster in the bedroom if a woman is not careful. If they can give a man variety in a relationship, there is nothing like it. Women could start off, by learning about the man’s anatomy and how to go about stimulating its various parts to stimulate him to a state of arousal. Don’t think that a man’s anatomy is only about his penis. It’s much more than that. By knowing these parts, doesn’t mean reading about them. Knowing, in this case is about knowing how to caress, lick and kiss in the right places.

Couples, relationship and boredom
A relationship needs its share of spice to keep afloat. If there is no spice, the relationship becomes monotonous. A couple can soon become bored of such a relationship and boredom is the silent killer of a relationship. A small amount of boredom is acceptable as one can’t bring variety in a relationship all the time. If a couple does not find the relationship interesting enough, they see no point in going forward with it. The trick is to keep adding a bit of interest quotient now and then. Both the man, as well as, the woman in the relationship, are responsible for it and should try making it exciting by adding some fun now and then to the proceedings.

Variety - Why is it needed?
Variety is the spice of life. This is true for a relationship, as well. Variety is an important facet of relationship. Variety could come in many forms and can also be a part of your sexual activity. A woman should know how to turn her man on, and use this knowledge to spice up the relationship. All good things come in small packages, so should variety in sex. Much as it is important to know the turn ons for a man, it is even more important to know the turn offs. If a woman adds variety, there is no doubt that the man will come to appreciate her better and will never want to let go of her. Variety can be regarded as the foundation of a healthy and a successful relationship. It’s the fuel that propels the relationship ahead.

Tip 1: The role of a caring mother
One way of adding variety is by adopting the role of nurturing mother. You must assume the role of somebody who actually cares for him and wants him to be happy at all times. Take care of him when he is sick, make sure that he is well taken care of, and be there when he needs you. Being a mother is all about being confident of your role as a woman in his life. Men find this kind of confidence sexy.

Tip 2: The little girl
The little girl needs her daddy! Make him feel wanted and needed. Most men need to feel like a hero and your little girl approach will make him feel like the most important person of your life. You can also get naughty at times, especially in the bedroom. Of course, using the little girl approach doesn’t mean letting go of all the responsibilities, but it’s about having some fun with your man. Say he likes baseball; hang out with him when he is watching the game. The little girl needs to take interest in her man’s hobbies.

Tip 3: The seductive lover
Every man loves a seductive lover; somebody who is uninhibited and knows just how to arouse and satisfy him. She can heat things up for him and give him some unforgettable sexual experiences. By not being inhibited, it will give you an opportunity to try new thing together with your partner. It could include role playing, enacting your most private fantasies, giving the man quickies and of course, oral sex.

Turn on your man - Tips
It doesn’t take much to turn on the man. But this doesn’t mean that you don’t make an effort turn him on. Here are a few pointers that can help you turn him on:

Through communication. You need to be able to tell him what you need and what he wants
Initiate a sexual adventure. Identify some exciting locations for having sex surprise him by seducing him, when he least expects it
Men will definitely be turned on by a woman masturbating for him
Sexy apparel, especially lingerie is a surefire turn on for a man
Initiate an erotic conversation with him. If he likes talking dirty, talk dirty for him

It’s a process
Infusing variety in a relationship is a process. It’s not necessary that a man will appreciate it the first time that you try it. He might or might not like it. Patience is the key here, as a bit of trial and error will help you get the perfect mix of variety.

My erspective:
I enjoy writing, I do it all day long at work, well maybe not this exciting, but I do. Now, as I think about my topics i also do quite a bit of research and see what other's think about it, and believe me when I say there is a lot of people out there thinking the same way I do. So I find these articles and think to myself, self, why not share these since they represent a bit of what I think. Now, I do not want to change them, common courtesy, so I need to give my perspective at the end and cover the areas I think hit closes to me.

Anyhow, I might sound like a broken record, but I am always on the whole subject of communication, but you know, I thought that this article hit an area I honestly believe needs to be kept up in any relationship. Need to keep the "Spice", need to keep it interesting. Yah some of us loose interest, but you know, if you just open up your mind and allow your self to let loose and imagine the things that would turn you on, then do it; I am sure that your love one will be more than happy to oblige. Now, keep it within reason and before doing anything crazy, make sure you BOTH talk about it before adventuring out and doing it, OK. Surprises are fun, but if one really doesn't like it, then it more than likely will flop, so keep those open lines of communication between the two of you.

Thanks for reading, till next time Latino Man signing off.

2010-05-06T18:04:00.000-07:00

How Soon is Too Soon to Have Sex?
Editor by Liz Brody, Shine Staff, on Wed Apr 14, 2010 4:29pm PDT

"Benefits" used to mean life insurance and 401Ks. Now it means sex.

And, yes, Friends With Benefits is so much more fun than actuaries. But here's the question: If he's a friend, and you're, the benefit—or visa versa, or either way—will it go anywhere? I guess what I mean is, if you like him, will you ruin things by being just a benefit rather than the investment? When Elaine tried it back in the Seinfeld days with Jerry, the whole thing was a big nada, nada, nada.

Anthony Paik, PhD, a sociologist at the University of Iowa, set out to answer that question in his new study. Using 1995 data on 783 adults ages 18 to 60, Paik found that one out of five had gotten together with their most recent partner via friends-with-benefits or hook-up sex. He also found that these weren't particularly faithful couplings. "For women, if you start with casual sex, there's a 44 percent higher chance you'll end up in a non-exclusive relationship in comparison to those who start out in a serious relationship," says Paik. By that he means that you'll have multiple lovers; your partner is even more likely (48 percent) to cat around. Jumping into bed within the first week of meeting a guy similarly predicted a non-monogamous future.

Mind you, this is data from 1995. Today, supposedly, FWBs and hookups are even more rampant. And if drive-through sex is not the best route to the altar, as Paik's study suggests, you can just see the writing on the spreadsheet.... husbands going the way of pay phones, Father Knows Best returns as The Orgy Bunch, the whole, sad, "demise of dating," as one New York Times op-ed put it...

"I don't agree."
Hello? That's Helen Fisher, PhD, on the line. One of the best-known love scientists around (and a biological anthropologist at Rutgers), she's written five books on the subject, the last of which is called Why Him? Why Her?

So why, then, doesn't she agree?

THE WHOLE HOOKUP HYSTERIA: It's ridiculous, Fisher sighs. First of all, people have been hooking up for millions of years as a way of starting long-term relationships. "I'm doing a research project myself now with a graduate student at SUNY, Binghamton," she says, "and he has asked 551 college students why they initiated a hookup. Half of the women and 52 percent of the men said they went into it hoping to trigger a longer relationship. And one third of them succeeded."

THE ONE NIGHT STAND: Fisher explains that any kind of sexual stimulation drives up dopamine in the brain. And dopamine is associated with feelings of romantic love. On top of that, orgasm releases hormones that cause attachment. And then there's the learning curve, or curves as the case may be: "You learn a HUGE amount about somebody when you to sleep with him—just a kiss activates 5 of the 12 cranial nerves," she says referring to the senses. "You see his body, feel his rhythms, discover whether he cares enough for you to listen to your needs."

AN IMPORTANT ASIDE: Condoms, ladies.

BACK TO COURTSHIP: "Basically," Fisher says, "there are two ways to get the boy. Either you bed him right away and try to jump-start these brain systems for romantic love and attachment. Or you spend you spend a lot of time getting to know him and hope you can trigger those systems in other ways; then sleep with him. Each one works."

BOTTOM LINE: As a scientist and girlfriend, what does she suggest? "I've tried both," she tells me, laughing, pointing out that in a FWB situation one partner is probably wishing it will turn into something. "You really have to go with your gut. But personally, I think it's wise to wait a few dates. Get to know him a little. Make sure he won't just dump you. And make sure you actually like him. Something happens in the brain when you sleep with someone. Having sex is playing with fire. You could fall in love."

My Perspective:
This is interesting, you see I could definitely give you my opinion and it may sound exactly like a "Guy", but you know, I think if you are two adults, that understand each other completely, are smart, and keep the communication lines open, mutual encounters aren't so bad, because in the end, if the communication is there, then the sex will only be the icing on the cake, and come on...how many of you out there honestly can't say that once you reach orgasm with that someone...it doesn't feel out of this world. I am only saying, it may not be right, it feels right, but as along as the communication is there...there is nothing wrong as far as I could see.

Latino Man signing off, till next time...thanks for reading till next time.

2010-04-28T19:37:00.000-07:00

10 Reasons Guys Aren't Approaching You
by Rich Santos, Marie Claire, on Fri Apr 23, 2010 4:01pm PDT

I was doing research on my never ending topic about relationships, marriage and well communication issues between couples. I so happen to come across this article, that I found interesting, since this is where we all begin...

by Rich Santos, Marie Claire,
Recently, at a wedding, I witnessed a dance floor with a friend who is an Ecologist. In the middle of this dance floor, a girl approached a guy, legs slightly spread, while slapping her thighs with the back of her hands while looking him in the eye.
You don't have to emulate an Animal Planet mating documentary to get a guy approach you when you're out, but body language is important. You have to give a guy an opening, and make yourself available.
I want my approach to appear to be well-timed, and I don't like it when I feel like I'm interrupting. Sometimes the situation lends itself to an approach: there's something extraordinary to talk about, or we just bump into each other. Pay attention to your actions when you're out. If you want guys to approach you, are you making it easy on them-are you available ?

Some girls might want the guy to work as part of the approach; but, for every one of you that make it tough for a guy to approach, there are women who make it easier to approach that a guy might go for instead.

Here are a few things women do, that prevent guys from approaching them:
1. You're Surrounded by Lots (I mean LOTS) of Friends
When girls are in a group, I know that I'm going to be evaluated as soon as I walk away. It's tough enough to walk up to one girl, let alone a group.

2. You're Too HotIf she's super hot, sometimes I assume I have no chance or I'm just plain intimidated. Most guys will give it the old college try though. This, by the way, is the best reason for your ego why guys aren't approaching: "I'm just so hot I'm intimidating."
3. Dancing On Tables (AKA Super Drunk Girl)One night, we were out and a girl intermittently stood up on the seat of her booth and did stripper-type dances. The guys in the bar looked, but never approached. It's tough to approach a whirling dervish and no one could take her seriously. And sometimes the "too drunk" girl gets approached by guys who are interested in one thing only.
4. Looking SloppyI don't usually approach girls who don't look stylish and put together. Now, if you want to keep guys away from you, doing the celeb in public homeless look might be a good strategy.
5. Looking Angry/Snobby
Smiling and eye contact is inviting, while anger, and looking like you're too good for everyone drives people away. Try to give off positive vibes, and more people will approach.
6. You're With Another Guy In Any Capacity
You appear to be taken if you arrive with guys, or meet guys while you're out. Guys have no way of knowing if you're with a guy. Some guys might ask, but some might just move on to someone who looks more available.
7. You have a Ring
Now I'll admit that I'm clueless, even for a guy. I'm not sure about the wedding ring/engagement rules: which hand/finger gets the ring? I know one has a big diamond, and one looks like a simple ring. But unmarried women wear all sorts of rings. Your ring that looks like a wedding ring might be keeping guys away (or maybe stupid guys like me, which is probably a good thing).
8. You seem BusyIt's easier to approach a girl who looks bored, like she wants someone to talk to. In a caf , if she's reading a book, or has her face in her laptop, I assume she's busy and doesn't want to deal with my stupid pick up attempt. In a bar, if she seems content doing whatever she's doing, I won't want to interrupt.
9. You're Literally Tough To Catch
I've devised strategic plans to make a move, waiting for a girl to go to the bar, or bathroom. But when she finally gets up she walks too fast, or takes bodyguards (tons of friends) with her. Bottom line, some women just don't give that opening physically for the approach. Remember, your migratory patterns might be exactly what that guy is waiting for, so be on the lookout when you're on the move.
10. You're a Wall Flower
If you're in the corner all night, or buried behind chairs and tables, you not only cut yourself off from the rest of the world, but some guys don't want to slalom obstacles to get to you. If you want guys to approach you, you might want to move or try out some other spots.
Rich asks if you agree with his list above? What actions do you think deter guys from approaching you? What actions make a guy tough to approach? Follow him on Twitter: twitter.com/richravens

My Perspective:
It all starts somewhere, and it begins with the simple hello or of course one of your great lines. But somewhere the communication was never established, so its like faulty wiring...it might work for a few years, but then the problems start surfacing. I always say, be yourself, don't pretend to be someone you can't be and why lie, don't...it will sooner orlater come to light...so don't lie. If the person you find hot likes you, they will like you for you...yah...ok it sounds corny, but you know...I am expereince and being around the block...i hear well and I observe and believe this is all true...you'll either agree or not and eventually find out it is. Guys, as hot as she maybe...just be casual, confident and yourself...ladies...the guy that came up to you...might be the one.

Thanks for reading, till next time Latino Man signing off.

Nothing to Talk About – Nothing in Common

2010-04-27T19:22:00.000-07:00

This is something I probably already touched on, on one of my last posts, but I wanted to talk or share a bit more about this issue. This is a common issue, and it not only happens in marriages, but in normal dating couples as well. For some crazy reason after a couple has been together for a while, they run out of things to talk about. There conversations consist of maybe only the children if there are children involved or just arguing about the economy. You know, couples forget those great moments when you talked on the phone for hours, or just sat out in front of the house talking about everything; future, dreams, concerns aspiration…that all goes away after you have been together for a while…maybe those topics get old…or maybe they just don’t matter.

Why is it that couples lose interest in talking to one another? Why can they just sit down or pull up a chair out in the backyard and talk…maybe a glass of wine or a cold beer and talk…but you know…I bet you some of you tried and it just didn’t work out…I could see it. So can some one tell me why…after all that courtship, laughing, dreaming of that person, wearing little lingerie, playing games…why does that go away. And you know don’t tell me it has to do with you been tired or the kids could walk in anytime or you had a hard day at work…because you know…we are all grown ups here and let me tell you, if you were stranded on a desert island you’d do everything you could to stay alive…so come on…why does that go away? Why do couples loose interest in talking to one another?
I don’t understand it…it boggles my mind… cannot comprehend…I am lost…ok…so…someone help.

My Perspective:
People make excuses…simple. And I think that if you really care, love someone…that interest will never go away. I think most of the couples out there jump into relationships without any idea of what they are doing, or expect or you know what…they jump in before they even really TALK to one another and clear the air of what they want…wait…ok…so some do, but then they LIE, flat out lie and more than likely only say what you would want to hear…never thinking that they really don’t follow that road or value…they simple just want to get into your pants…and never think about what it reall means. So before you get into a relationship…sit down and talk….really talk about what you expect and want out of the relationship…and please do not lie…you’ll only end up getting hurt or hurting someone….it could mean 5, 10 or more years of your life…don’t do it. TALK, communicate and be honest…that I believe would help.

Thanks for reading; I hope to see some comments…Latino Man Signing off.

2010-04-21T16:06:00.000-07:00

5 Tips For Outdoor Sex
By YourTango, on Tue Apr 20, 2010 1:00pm PDT

Ah, spring. Sweat, sunshine, Earth Day and jacket-less evenings of pasty limbs and exposed toes always makes us think of…outdoor sex! Here's a handy list to ensure the romp doesn't turn into a nasty public nudity ticket or unfortunate rash.

1. Be alert.
Getting frisky al fresco is all fine and dandy, but nothing turns a saucy romp in the grass from titillating to mortifying quicker then locking eyes with a small child and disapproving mother. Depending on where you're getting down and dirty, it would behoove you to be extra alert to your surroundings. If you're on a hike and decide to be one with nature, fine, but be extra paranoid about a rustle of leaves or serenade of breaking twigs. It's better to be safe (and unfinished) then sorry (with your pants down).

2. Dress appropriately.
Ladies: make it easy and wear a skirt or dress. And men, avoid belts or tight pants. If you want to go commando, even better. But select your outfit carefully and be prepared to disrobe, get busy and then get presentable fast.

3. Bring a blanket.
We learned the hard way to avoid getting sand tucked into certain crevices where it doesn't belong, so if you want sex on the beach bring a generous-sized blanket. Likewise, rocks, sticks, burrs and other parts of nature are prettier to look at than to grind on—trust us.

4. Otherwise, best to do it standing up.
If you have the stamina, standing up is probably the best position for knocking boots outdoors. The shrubbery always looks much more comfortable than it actually is.

5. Come prepared.
Outdoor sex is more about novelty than having the best sex ever, but you might as well up your pleasure quotient with a few easy tricks. Namely, bring lubrication. Getting it on outside is challenging enough without trying to navigate foreplay, so let lube works its magic instead (scentless—no need to attract bugs). Likewise, being one with nature is no excuse not to protect yourself. Bring condoms or your choice of contraceptive, and please take them with you when you're finished. Nothing ruins a good time like happening upon someone's used Trojan.

My Perspective:
Anywhere, anytime, just remember enjoy.
Thanks for reading, till next time Latino Man Signing Off.

The Best Sex Positions for Every Situation

2010-04-20T20:53:00.000-07:00

The Best Sex Positions for Every Situation
By Sarah Joi

Got pain? Pregnancy wishes? Confidence issues in the sack? We have a position for all that! We spoke to top female sexual health experts to hear their recommendations about the best positions for the most common sexual health concerns. Get ready to meet your new favorite moves.

The Best Position for Baby-Making
While it’s true that you can get pregnant from all kinds of sexual positions, there is one that health experts frequently recommend as the way to increase your odds of becoming pregnant, and that’s the “missionary” position (male on top) with a “pelvic tilt,” says Amy Levine, a New York City–based sex coach, certified sexuality educator and founder of SexEdSolutions.com. “Putting a pillow under the tush can help elevate your pelvis, and create a slide effect—providing an easy path for his swimmers to make their way through your cervix on their journey to your ovum,” she says. “Typically, women who try this tend to maximize the ejaculation, since it stays in their body a little longer compared to positions in which you're upright, allowing the semen to drip out of the vagina.” And, don’t forget to orgasm, says Ava Cadell, a sex educator and founder of Loveology University in Los Angeles. “She is more likely to get pregnant if she climaxes,” she says.

The Best Position to Help Women Build Confidence in Bed
Maybe you feel insecure in the sack and could use a move that can help you feel more confident and in control? If so, Debby Herbenick, PhD, author of Because It Feels Good: A Woman's Guide to Sexual Pleasure and Satisfaction, has a suggestion for you. Memorize these three words, she says: you on top. “It can be confidence-building because it physically helps women to be in control,” she says. “Make sure to do it your way, though. Woman on top can be done kneeling, squatting, facing forward or facing backward, so show off whatever you or he loves most about your body.”

The Best Position for Long-Lasting Sex
While premature ejaculation is a medical condition that your guy may need to seek treatment for, there are positional tricks you can try to help him increase his staying power. According to Levine, the missionary position (again, guy on top) may be the key to helping your partner last longer. “It can work for him if he has trouble going the distance,” she says. “The key is that he's in an easy position to stop and start when his arousal is increasing at a fast rate, and can take it down a notch so he can last longer.” Want to vary the missionary position a bit? Try this idea from Cadell. “The ‘fox’ position is a variation of missionary, in which the woman’s legs go all the way up and over her lover’s shoulders,” she says. “Penetration of the vagina is very deep in this position. She is contained in the boundaries of his body and he can dive totally inside her, maintaining his arousal and lasting longer.”

The Best Position for Women Who Experience Pain with Intercourse
There are often few quick fixes for intercourse-related pain; however, consider these two ideas that can help improve your intimate experiences. First, be sure to use lots of water-based lubricant, says Dr. Herbenick. Second, if pain is an issue, it’s important that you keep the reins, so to speak, in your hands. It’s why Dr. Herbenick, and other experts, recommend the woman-on-top position. “It gives the woman more control over taking sex at a pace that is comfortable for her.”

The Best Position If Your Guy Is Well-Endowed
Looking for more “oh”s than “ouch”s? Here’s your move: “The guy lies on his side; she lies perpendicular to him with legs spread as they rest over his body,” Dr. Herbenick explains. “This allows her to hold the base of his shaft if she wants to limit his range of motion, and allows her to use pelvic rocks to create an in-and-out sensation.” Levine says that women whose partners have “lengthy penises” love this position because “they can control how much of him will penetrate her, and can create pleasurable sensations for both without the cramping and discomfort that can happen when he hits her cervix during intense thrusting.”

The Best Position for Small Penises
Experts are quick to point out that penis size is a very minor part of a satisfying sex life, yet there are certain positions sex therapists recommend more often when a man has a smaller penis. The best? Woman on top, says Levine. But here’s the key: “You need to gyrate on him rather than move up and down, or else he's likely to slip out,” she says. “Missionary can also help, with your legs up on his shoulders. This allows him to penetrate you deeper, making the most of his size.”

Sarah Jio is the health and fitness blogger for Glamour.com. Visit her blog, Vitamin G.

My Perspective:
Sex, love making, intimacy, needs to be enjoyed to the fullest, don't hold back, let yourself go, experience everything about the moment, the person you are with...most importantly communicate and I promise that the expereince, what ever position you try...will be even more enjoyable.

Thanks for reading, till next time...Latino Man signing off.

Catching Someone in a Lie

2010-04-19T16:59:00.000-07:00

You know, I am sure that this is an on going, common and most importantly on everyone’s crappy topic list, which is “Catching Someone in a lie”. How many of us have caught someone or possibly been caught in a lie, I am talking about an obvious lie…that pretty much puts you or them on the defense when they or you know have been caught.

You know we can confront the individual or probably get confronted ourselves, but what does that do…come think about it…what does it really do, except just blow out of proportion…into a major fight. The person that was lied to confronts the person that was lying, and then the liar denies it, and of course it leads to shouting back and forth, and then you end up in a totally different topic…it strays off into some other deep kept hurt issue that either of you did and well…I am sure we have all been there. You fight about some other topic loosing totally direction of the actual reason you were fighting…of course at the end of the yelling and you are both walking away…the last words thrown…are…”And don’t ever lie to me again”.

But really, what was resolved nothing…absolutely nothing, all that happens is now you or they have serious trust issues. You start wondering what else they have lied to you about, what else they are hiding…hmmm…do I believe them from now on. I mean the feelings that are generated through the confrontation are incredibly horrible, and yet nothing gets resolved. Only now, either you have broken up or simply don’t trust one another. Yah, ok so your wondering where I am getting at, that maybe it’s not wise to confront the liar…yah I am saying that…exactly…you know why…because you either end up forgiving the person or breaking it off. So why not be smart about it and skip all the hard ache in between and just do one or the other…break it off or simply forgive them. Forgive them you say…you are crazy Latino Man…yah I might be, but think about it…you are going to do either one or the other, you know it and I know it.

“Now, the thing is which one can you live with?”

Do you break it off and move on with your life, and really know that you will find someone who actually cares about you or are you willing to forgive the person and live with the doubts for the rest of both of your lives…because let me tell you…I know that most of us cannot really ever forgive someone that has lied to us or any other issue that causes distrust, unhappiness, or turmoil between the two…because we are human and that’s what’s we believe or think we believe should be. I seen it hundreds of time, it’s become the storyline for a lot of movies, the girl gets cheated on, the mans pleads that he is sorry and will never do it again, then she goes on to forgive him, so we think, but she always has doubts. When he stays later at work, maybe he really does have to work overtime or he got a flat tire and is at Discount tires getting it fixed…yah…she is wondering what he really is doing…we all know the story, yet we allow it whether we do it consciously or not. Like I said two thing will happen either you’ll move on or just live with it.

But you know, when most of us decide to live with it, you know what I mean, so called ‘forgive’ the person, we end up unhappy, unsure of ourselves or the significant other. And it’s not until it’s done to us enough times that maybe we finally open our eyes and say, “Enough”.

Yah…you know whom I am talking about…so why confront and be an adult and make the decision without all the fighting and head aches…yah I know your saying it’s easier said than done…yah…well it is…OK. You’re an adult, maybe not live enough, but all in case an adult or wait…why not listen to an adult and do either one without any fighting.

My Perspective:
Forgive the person, without confronting them and live wit it, but live as you really have forgiving them and not carry any doubts, uncertainties or issues. If they do it again, then as an adult or person who can ask for advice, move on or continue accepting the issue. If you decide to break it off, then do it with out confrontation, move on, make sure things are in proper order. Now, when I mean confrontation, I am not saying that you should not talk…communication is important, but DO NOT let it get into an argument.

Definition of Confrontation:

a bold challenge
discord resulting from a clash of ideas or opinions
a hostile disagreement face-to-face
the act of hostile groups opposing each other; "the government was not ready for a confrontation with the unions"; "the invaders encountered stiff opposition"
a focused comparison; bringing together for a careful comparison

Confrontation is exactly that and argument…communication is what is done between two calm adults, that are in there right mind. If you need to allow sometime before you approach the other person, do so. Then calmly communicate your concern of what they did, if they begin a confrontation, defuse it quickly and ask that they come back when they are ready to talk/communicate. Arguing solves absolutely nothing…you know it and I know it. Remember what I said, 2 things will happen either you forgive the person or break it off…so why not avoid the argument and confrontation and make the decision yourself or try to communicate with the person. I am not saying to allow someone to lie, or make you unhappy, what I am saying is…you know that only 2 things can and will happen…either you’ll break it off or remain with the person…the arguing does nothing except bring up past, current issues between the two of you and if that is the case then you and them need to move on.

Thanks for reading, until next time Latino Man signing off.

Who is Nicer…a Step Mom or a Step Dad?

2010-04-16T16:35:00.000-07:00

"…Ma…Pa…I’m hungry…I’m bored…are we almost there yet”

Now, as parent we sometimes forget how much work it really is to raise kids…I mean maybe not forget, but ever so often we get into those moments where we just want to pull out our hair. But, of course those great moments always out-weigh the bad ones or do they.

Now, as parents we build tolerances and we adjust to our kids every whim and cry, but is it because we have that connection with our child, I mean, what about a step father or step mother…do they have that same tolerance with kids that are from other marriages?

Actually that’s my topic for today, “who is nicer a step mom or step dad”. I did some research through out our wonderful internet and I was totally amazed at what I read, found regarding this topic. I mean, go ahead and do some research…I am sure you’ll be surprised at what you find. Now, during my search, I found that about 75% of the articles, discussions, blogs, etc. leaned towards the Step father being nicer. Yah…sort of weird I guess, well at least for me it is, because I always heard or understood of the ‘Motherly’ intuition or the ‘Mother – Child” bond being stronger than anything we know, so…when it comes to a step mother, why would it be different?

Now, I would not be able to put in my experience personally, I only grew up with my mother…but I do recall friends and some of the things they talked about, when there was ever a step mother or father involved. Now, most of the time I heard more about the step father, since kids usually end up with their mom and the mom most of the time re-married…and let me tell you…most of the steps fathers, that I heard about, were pretty darn mean. So, when I did my research I was surprised to find what I did.

I do recall one friend, actually I couldn’t forget…you see a close friend of mine in high school, lost his mom in a car accident, the father re-married and actually remarried to a very young wife. Let me tell you, she was HOT…ok…hey even my friend thought so…yah it was his mom…or step mom, but still she was hot…but besides that she was totally cool…seriously. Any time anything happen at home that my friend would cause, she would take the blame, if my friend stayed out late she would sooth my friends father and always said to him, :Come on honey, were you a teenage once”. Yah she was totally cool, so once again I was surprised to read so much about a step mom being the meaner of the two.

My Perspective:
I think that a motherly instinct is always on, whether it’s her child or not. Now, ok, we do here stories about mom’s gone bananas…but of course life always has its bad apples. Anyhow, I think a mom or step mom would for the most part always look after the welfare of a child, it’s part of being a women. So, if anyone of you has a story to share, please do…I would like to hear from you.

Thanks for reading, till next time, Latino Man signing off.