The Uprising

The Uprising is on Facebook!

2013-03-10T01:40:00.000-06:00

Did you know? The Uprising is gettin' an overhaul like whoa. It's gettin' fresh, totally making assumptions, completely smashing those pretty ginger cookies into a pie crust from heaven. The Uprising is lacing up its running shoes and training for a big race, putting on muscle and blowing away prior fitness levels, sweating and eating and sweating and eating.

Just like training (and just like pies and biscuits), these changes take time. But but but! I'm so stupidly excited to tell you what's going on around here and just can't hardly stand it anymore!

So, I made us a Facebook page. While web designers and I talk about domain names and white balance, you can keep your tastebuds sated with new, happenin' recipes and running talk. How's about it? Come on over!

You're the best. Party on.

Big News! Pretty Pizza!

2012-10-14T16:52:00.001-05:00

Before I get started, let's just drool together, you and me. Isn't food just the best thing EVER? This pizza man, I'm tellin' you, I almost fell off my chair. Thank you, So True in Seoul. It's SO f-ing true that your food is amazing. And I love you for it.

And I love YOU. You, sir or madam. You in that chair, drinking coffee like ya ain't got a care in the world. You on that couch, listening to Taylor Swift and begging the cosmos for help on your Taylor Swift addiction--seriously, can she sing something else? You, her, him, that dude over there, all y'alls (even the country music listeners among you), I love all of you! This blog started as a simple project during my extra hours as a graduate student, but the effect it's had on me and my world has been anything but simple. It's brought me pain and torture and questions and happiness and friends and enemies and more questions and not so many answers. That's kind of like love, right? I think, actually, it's EXACTLY like love, incomprehensibly incomprehensible. I love this blog, and I love you for being here.

As I write this, I have just completed talks with a web designer who is, I'm confident to say, the perfect guy for the collaborative concept I've been rolling around in my head for, I don't know, EVER. Him and me, we're going to take this Uprising business to whole new levels. Just you wait, you food-lovin'-granola-munchin' punks! The Uprising is getting refitted, repackaged, remoulded, hugely expanded, and with the help of my amazing creative team, bumped waaaaay up in terms of flash and flair. Oh yeeeeah my nasties! It's gonna be branded, logoed, vamped, sassed, sexified, badass-infused mayhem!

This process, as you've already guessed, will take a long time. Like, a year. Maybe more. I'm writing like a fiend these days for you, you saucy minx. Until such time as the punky badassery of The New Uprising is so extreme that I can't possibly wait another moment before showing you, this space here on Blogger will be pretty quiet. Apart from periodic progress updates, you can expect nothing much beyond the cooling embers of the firestorms of yesteryear. However, the old material and all the recipes will still be live and functioning! So keep up with your vegan lemon bars and tomato soup spice cakes, ok?

And until then, until the moment when all is unveiled, keep cool my dear smart asses. Keep cool and keep reading.

Your friend,
Shelley

Chuseok: A Korean Thanksgiving

2011-11-27T13:12:00.001-06:00

For Matt.

Happy birthday, Matt! You rock and stuff. Your wife is nice. Wouldn't it be cool if we could all make dinner together? How's tonight?

But wouldn't it be even cooler if you birthday just happened to coincide with Thanksgiving? No way! It does?! Let's make a Thanksgiving meal except without the dead bird and all that jiggly-booty-inducing stuffing which the reason for eating, even as I get older, still remains an utter mystery.

Thanksgiving in Korea (Chuseok) does not include a dead bird. It does, however, typically involve a 3-day celebration and a much-needed break from work. What's not great about that? And you say there's a giant, spicy, noodletastic meal at the end of days and days of binge drinking?!??

We gotta make that happen.

The Uprising presents a Chuseok meal of epic proportions, and fabulous breeding ground for delicious revelry the likes of which you've rarely seen. There are noodles with veggies and a CRAPLOAD of garlic, teeny little savory scallion pancakes, wilted spinach, rice, and kimchi (spicy spicy spicy fermented cabbage), all of which you'll get to drown in a sauce that'll make you swoon.

Oh. And then there's cake.

Japchae (Sweet Potato Noodles with Veggies)
Pajeon   (Scallion Pancakes)
Sigumchi Namul   (Wilted Spinach)
Kimchi   (Spicy Fermented Cabbage)

and...

Alli's Lemon Coconut Cake

Scroll down and try not to drool!

JAPCHAE

Sweet tater noodles. Those are noodles, made with sweet potatoes and water. So weird. SO COOL. They look a little like seaweed and taste like victory, but don't let the texture turn you away! They're not what you're used to. Get over it. These are deeeeeeelicious and totally worth a trip to your local Asian grocery.

Japchae is just this: sweet potato noodles with a boatload 'o veggies. Bitchin'.

First thing, get a giant pot of water and crank it up on the stove. Use your biggest stockpot, ok? For realsies. These noodles are long and strong, hence the scissors...

Learn from our mistake. Cut them before you attempt to add them to boiling water.

While your water is heating up, grab your cutting board, a pile of vegetables, and go crazy. The more, the merrier. Get creative and use whatever ya want! Slice and dice:

2 onions
2 carrots
1 red pepper
1 bunch of scallions
1 package white button mushrooms (or not, if 'shrooms aren't your thing)
2-10 cloves garlic (seriously, go nuts)

Doesn't it look pretty? This garlic picture is like porn.

Once everything is sliced, heat up a giant skillet and add in a generous dash of light-colored oil (now's not the time for olive oil). Sautee your mushrooms first, cooking only until they're soft. STOP BEFORE THEY TURN MUSHY AND BROWN because seriously, mushrooms cooked like that are the reason people don't like mushrooms. Change up the status quo, will ya? When the mushrooms are nearly done, add in all the garlic and cook for just a flash (less than a minute), then dump everything into a bowl and return the pan to the stove. Now, add a bit more oil and sautee all your other veggies until they're slightly softened. Then, dump them in the bowl, right on top of that scintillating pile of garlic and shrooms. The veggies are gonna hang out there for a bit, so feel free to set them aside.

Your water should be boiling by now, so drop in your noodles. Cook them for just a few minutes, 4 or 5, until they're soft and translucent. I know, right?!?! Aren't they cool?

Drain 'em like a pro, shake out the extra water, and toss 'em in with your veggies. Add a dash of soy sauce (but not too much...a delicious sauce is on the way) and stir everything up. Voila! Japchae!

PAJEON

Easy and unassuming, these little babies are the world's most surprising showstoppers. Who knew that of all the lovely things we were tucking into, scallion pancakes dipped in sauce would be the faves?

They're laughably simple...literally regular 'ol vegan pancake batter (sans sweetener) with scallions stirred in. It's hilarious!

Actually, the secret's in the sauce, which you'll want to make a lot of (it's perfect over everything you're making for this meal, except the cake....maybe). Whip this concoction together before you throw together the 'cakes, just to give it some time to meld. In a small bowl, whisk together:

1 cup soy sauce
1/4 cup clear vinegar or mirin
1/4 cup light-colored oil
1 tbs agave or maple syrup
3-4 scallions, thinly sliced
2-10 cloves garlic, minced
1-2 tbs sesame seeds, toasted (you can buy them pre-toasted if you want)

Stir it together. Smell it. Set it aside. Try not to freak out.

Heat up your griddle or nonstick pan over medium heat and get another bowl for your pancake batter. Stir together:

1 1/4 cup flour (these would be easy to make gluten-free)
1 tsp baking powder
2 tbs canola oil
1 1/2 cup unsweetened soy or rice milk
1 bunch scallions, thinly sliced (more or less to taste)

*Notice. You're not adding salt. The dipping sauce will take care of that.*

Now, cook 'em like you would regular pancakes! Surprise! Ladle some batter into your hot pan and cook for 5 minutes, then flip and cook for another 3 minutes or until the 'cake is brown and nice. Cut into wedges and serve with the fab sauce.

People will love you.

SIGUMCHI NAMUL

Are you ready for this? It's complicated.

1. Bowl some water.

2. Drop in 1 pound of fresh spinach.

3. Wait 20 seconds.

4. Drain spinach.

5. Serve with the pajeon dipping sauce, since you made extra. Wink.

KIMCHI

Kimchi is fermented cabbage. Weirded out? Don't be. It's delicious and chock full of fiber and probiotic bugs for your tummy. In fact, it's been called one of the world's healthiest foods! And Koreans eat it allllll the time! So wipe that "it looks weird" gaze off your face, that furrowed brow, that worried stare. Kimchi is heaven.

As with many ancient and/or traditional foods (like borscht and split pea soup), kimchi recipes are as diverse as the families they come from. The one I tried is as simple as it can be, basically just cabbage soaked in salt and smothered with hot pepper. It takes a while and involves a pair of gloves, but it's worth it!

The ingredient list is short.

1 head cabbage, green or red
1/2 cup salt
1/2 cup hot chili powder (or kochukaru, if you want to make a trip to an Asian grocery)

Slice up the cabbage into bite-sized bits and don't freak if they're not perfect...we're going for a rustic effect here, folks. Put them in a bowl and stir in the salt, then cover it with plastic wrap and let it hang out on the counter. The cabbage will wilt and create its own liquid! Huzzah!

After about an hour has passed, rinse the cabbage a squeeze out the water once or twice (more rinsing=less salty kimchi). You may have to let it wilt for a bit longer if your cabbage seems to be making more and more liquid, which was my problem, most definitely. Certain cabbages will have more water than others, but one thing's for sure...you don't want to start stirring in the spicy pepper until the cabbage has fully completed the wilting process. Trust me on this. Apparently many kimchi-makers make this easier by pressing the cabbage into the bottom of a colander a few times, a piece of info that would've been more useful to me yesterday. But not for you! I fudged up so you don't have to!

When your cabbage is good and dry, stir in as much spicy spicy pepper powder as you can stand, then stuff everything into a jar and put it in the fridge. Your kimchi will last 2-3 days if you don't pressure seal the container, infinitely longer if you do. You can even get very traditional and bury it in the yard for next spring. Fun! But no matter what, try a little wad of kimchi alongside rice and vegetables. You won't be disappointed.

ALLI'S LEMON COCONUT CAKE

Totally not Korean, but totally perfect for Matt! Amazing when made by Alli, but equally amazing when made by you!

Alli: "This cake is so freakin' rich it doesn't need frosting."

Me: Quiet skepticism and a quizzical gaze followed by, "Really?"

Alli: "Totally!"

Totally. This cake is more like pound cake. Like, pound down your esophagus pound cake, mindfully if you can, but without self-reproach if you fail (this one time). It's so good.

Preheat your oven to 350 and grease a bundt pan if you have one. Or if you borrowed one from Alli. If not, use whatever you have on hand, but be sure to grease fairly liberally. The picture above represents an oopsie-turned-genius move that involved smashing the bits stuck to the pan into a cup, upturning it in the center, and sprinkling it with powdered sugar. We don't stress around here.

In a large bowl, combine:

1 2/3 cup sugar
2/3 cup canola oil
1 14oz. can coconut milk (not the beverage)
1/4 cup soy or rice milk
1/4 cup lemon juice
3 tbs lemon zest (about 3 lemons worth)

Stir until combined, then add:

3 cups flour (whole wheat is a no-go)
2 tsp baking powder
1 tsp baking soda
1 tsp salt
1 1/2 cup unsweetened shredded coconut

Stir. Not too much. Pour it into your prepared pan and bake. Let it go for an hour in you're using a bundt, less for an oblong cake pan or loaf pan. Just keep an eye on it would ya? Sheesh.

When the cake is done, let it cool for about 10 minutes before you attempt to flip it. See photograph above for inspiration. If you don't succeed in getting it completely out, grab your powdered sugar and go to town. If you're a superhero and happen to shake out a perfect cake, you should add powered sugar anyway. But you're still cool.

(recipe inspired by and adapted from Veganomicon, of course)

5 Months is Enough Time To...

2011-11-23T12:11:00.002-06:00

...be employed and unemployed and re-employed and then re-un-employed 4 times. Hilarious!

...start using the word "totes" and promptly try to stop.
...thoroughly enjoy my summer CSA box and wish it would last forever.
...make and eat and LOVE a vegan pizza at least twice a week.
...discover an affinity for Miller's Gin. TRY IT.
...travel back to Missoula and wallow in misery when I'm forced to leave again.
...research, develop, and deploy a whole new life plan and begin a countdown to February.

...miss The Uprising like I'd miss a foot or a kidney or a bottle of gin that I emptied. SO MUCH.

Like, so much.

The urge to write, like most creative pursuits, ebbs and flows. Comes and goes. But you know what really makes it go? A full time job. Yeah, yeah...the money is nice and all that, but after a day of computerthiscomputerthat-look-at-a-screen and try not to vomit, writing was the absolute LAST thing I could think of. Finishing a day in a lil cubicle is cause for a party, and not a "let's cook!" one. More like a "let's drink!" one.

BUT!

Not all is lost. Pursuits like The Uprising last a lifetime. Things are ch-ch-ch-ch-changin' around here though, and I hope you'll stay along for the ride! It is one of my ultimate goals in life to make time for all things, work and running and writing stories and reading books about Catherine the Great and cooking eggplant and asparagus with hollandaise (so vegan, so amazing). To that end, during this slight lull in working due to that silly Thanksgiving holiday, I've scheduled a GIANT feast to celebrate my friend Matt's birthday! It's Korean. Korean Thanksgiving. For a birthday party. How 'bout it?

Tomorrow.

Scott Pilgrim vs. Todd the Vegan

2011-06-21T08:54:00.005-05:00

You told me to watch it. And now, I finally did.

"VEGAN POLICE! STOP!"

Milk and eggs, bitch. Milk. And eggs.

Oh. And for the record, I pretty much worship Envy. Just like that guy there, in the front row.

I'm sure there's someone sexier out there in the big, blue world...but I can't possibly think who it would be. And she's probably an ipso facto vegan, being Todd's girlfriend and all.

THANKS TO EVERYONE WHO TOLD ME I HAD TO SEE SCOTT PILGRIM VS. THE WORLD. YOU WERE TOTALLY RIGHT. Naturally.

HIATUSMUSTHAPPEN

2011-06-16T09:14:00.002-05:00

Or I will keel over. There's too much going on, too much cookin' in the pot, too much rollin' around in my head.

I'll be back in a few days! AND YOU'RE SO AWESOME. Yes, you. You, man. You're fab.

The CSA Strikes Again...

2011-06-14T18:30:00.003-05:00

...yet, I have no evidence to prove it!

My camera has had a complete nervous collapse. And just when I got another huge box of heavenly bounty! What's a girl to do?

Tomorrow. Tomorrow I shall have a solution, because I seriously MUST tell you about the veggies that have completely taken over my kitchen.

Until then.

(comic from here)

Lentil Loaf with Mushroom Gravy

2011-06-10T09:00:00.002-05:00

The word "loaf" is never appetizing to me. It lives firmly on the list of words I think should never be uttered in reference to food...things like squat thrust and custard and veiny and mulch. Seepage and slop sink and barf bag and turgid and curdle and crotch.

I drove by a convenience store once called the Loaf n' Jug. I almost vomited all over my sister.

But seriously! This stuff is delicious! What does it have to be called a "loaf"? Blech. I shudder just saying it but struggle to find another descriptor. Lentil Blob? Lentil Mass? Lentils-Shaped-Like-the-Pan? Bread of Lentils? Oi vey. I guess I'll have to settle with Lentil Loaf and try not to gag when I say it.
Gagging is SO not what happens when you drop a slice of this bad boy on your plate though, especially with roasted parsnips or mashed potatoes. And then covering it with gravy? Oh man, I'm bad. Fo sho. This meal makes me want to sit on my couch with my feet hanging over the back (something I've adopted as I've aged) while drinking PBR and playing Trivial Pursuit, even while under the distinct impression that sitting quietly and contemplating my strange future might actually be more beneficial. But I live on the edge. I'm a woman of modern times.

This recipe is a teeny bit long-winded in the way of prep time, but most of it can be spent away from the kitchen, on the floor, reading trashy science fiction and eating graham crackers. Wait! How would I know that?!?! I never do that. Ever. Never ever.
Place the following in a big stockpot or saucepan:
2 cups lentils (brown ones work best)
4 cups water

Bring it to a boil, covered, then turn it down to a simmer a let it rock until the water is absorbed, about 50 or 60 minutes. See? You could totally whiz through a few chapters while this is going. Check the pot after 30 minutes to see if you need to add any more water, but do so sparingly. The lentils need to be cooked down but still very thick when all is said and done. When they're soft and stewy, take the pot off the heat and let it sit, covered, for another 30 minutes. They'll thicken up even more. Huzzah.

While the lentils are cooling, preheat your oven to 350 degrees and whip up a quick veggie medley to add to the pot. Warm a scant dash of olive oil over medium heat (not too much...no one wants an oily loaf...) and add:
2 small onions, diced
2 or 3 carrots, sliced and diced, baby
2-10 cloves garlic, minced

Cook just until everything is softened, about 5 or 6 minutes, then dump the veggies into the pot of cooled lentils along with:
1/4 cup ketchup, tomato paste, or tomato sauce (whatever you have on hand)
1/2 cup bread crumbs
2 tbs parsley
1 tbs thyme
1-2 tbs soy sauce, or to taste
1-2 tbs Worcestershire sauce (the non-anchovy one)
dash o' pepper

Stir up the whole thang really thoroughly, taste for salt, and smash everything into a greased loaf pan. You can schmear some extra ketchup/paste/sauce/tomatostuff over the top at this point, if you feel so inclined...that tastes real nice. Finally, toss it into the oven and bake for about 45 minutes.

Go read some more. You won't have to start the gravy for a while.

When the lentil loaf is baked and ready (oh MAN does it smell good), take it out of the oven and let it cool significantly, otherwise it will smoosh all over you when you attempt to slice it. Since this'll take about 20 minutes, you've got plenty of time to whip up an amazing mushroom gravy. Do it. It'll taste so good.

Mushrooms cooked in olive oil taste pretty good. Mushrooms cooked in Earth Balance taste better. But mushrooms cooked in both olive oil and Earth Balance? You'll be over the moon with tasty delight! So, warm a solid dash of olive oil and a tablespoon or two of Earth Balance over medium heat. You'll need plenty of moisture in the pan (since those mushrooms are always so thirsty), so don't skimp. When it's good and hot, add:
1 pound mushrooms, sliced (use whatever kind you like)
1 onion, diced

Saute for about 15 minutes or until the mushrooms turn golden brown. Then, in a little bowl, whisk together the following until smooth:
3 tbs flour
2 cups white wine or veggie stock (you can also use water in a pinch, but wine is the BEST)
2-3 tbs soy sauce, to taste

Dump the liquid over the mushrooms and cook over medium heat, stirring constantly until the gravy thickens. Taste for salt.

And NOW! Now, to eat! Since you've been smelling all this good stuff for more than an hour you're probably totally ready. Like, totally. Slice off a nice slab of lentil ____ for your plate, then smother it and anything else you decided to make as a side dish (parsnips, potatoes, sweet potatoes, squash, biscuits, green beans), with your heavenly mushroom gravy.

So delish.

This stuff is even better the next day, especially between two slices of wheaty bread, slathered in mustard. Double delish.

(Recipe inspired by and adapted from The Vegan Table)

My First CSA

2011-06-08T15:43:00.005-05:00

I told you I was gonna do it! I decided way back in January that a CSA box (that's "community supported agriculture") simply had to grace my kitchen this summer, if only to find out what kohlrabi is and how to cook daikon and which part of a muskmelon is edible. After much deliberation and many passes through the GIGANTIC list of CSA farms in the Twin Cities, I finally decided to buy a share with Blackberry Community Farm in Wheeler, Wisconsin. I really couldn't tell you what the major deciding factor was in picking them above all the others, but I do really dig their family operation and admit to being overtly attracted to the softball-sized heads of German red garlic on their homepage. A girl's gotta have priorities.

Anyway.

This week marked the first delivery! And boy oh boy am I excited. The picture above represents half the booty (the other half is for Alli) and doesn't even show the cute little bin of strawberries and the big leafy green called sorrel.

Sorrel. Yup, I've already been to Wikipedia. Twice.

Isn't that great? I've got a rhubarb crumble in the oven and a big 'ol bag of strange-tasting salad greens washed and ready for tomorrow, not to mention a jar full of the most pungent chives I've ever smelled. Kinda makes me feel like river dancin'.

I Can't Help It....Sorry.....

2011-06-07T13:41:00.008-05:00

I'm so freakin' proud of this, I just can't resist a little shameless tribute to...well, me. Me and Athena Lonsdale of Athena Photography, one of the coolest chicks on planet Earth. We had a good time together, her and I, out in the boonies on an extraordinarily hot afternoon. I ran. She took pictures.

You've seen one of the before, but ya haven't seen THIS ONE:
Page 85 of this month's Runner's World magazine shows one of Athena's photos. Of me! Weird!

And super cool. I simply HAD to share. You understand. Right?

Say yes. Prease.

Cold Soba Noodle Salad

2011-06-06T07:45:00.002-05:00

I never thought I'd profess my love of a machine like I do with my air conditioner.

This is, truly, the very first time I've ever had air conditioning, but not because of any environmental concerns or any other reason I could be super proud of. I never said, "I'd have an air conditioner if I knew it was energy efficient." Nor did I think much of Queen Elizabeth's geothermal cooling system for Buckingham Palace or Elton John's carbon neutral chalk aquifer. I did none of those things most because, and this is pure conjecture, I don't think I ever really needed air conditioning. In Montana, the temperature drops so far down at night that you can throw open your windows and let the breeze chill you to the bone...you may even have to grab for an actual blanket which, in the daytime, makes you nauseous just to think about.

Alas, Minnesota is different. It was 90 degrees yesterday! It's supposed to be 95 on Wednesday! And now, I know why people worship their air conditioners and why mine is whirring away on high, right now, at six in the morning. It's an energy efficient model, yes, but I'm not entirely sure any lack of efficiency would stop me from using it...because being without it would be torture. TORTURE, I say.

The kitchen in our apartment is freakishly warmer than every other room. I suppose its natural, gas oven and all, but still makes cooking an absolutely devilish undertaking. And then eating HOT FOOD? You're outta your freakin' mind. I don't think you want it either. You want cold food like you want to run through sprinklers and peel frozen kiwis and drink vodka and lemonade over big, fat ice cubes while wearing sandals and reading junky novels.

Look. I made you some cold food. Feel free to eat it in front of the air conditioner.

Get a big 'ol pot or saucepan of water to boil. Add a dash of salt and:
1 package soba noodles*

Cook until they're just done. Totally al dente and stuff. Drain them into a colander, then rinse with cool water...and don't even think about skipping that step! Rinsing means lowering the temperature which means stopping the cooking process and giving you delicious, non-gummy noodles when all is said and done. Rinse the noodles, dump them in a big bowl, and let them hang out while you throw together your quicky marinade. In a small bowl or cup, whisk together:
1/3 cup soy sauce (tamari tastes best)
3 tbs sesame or canola oil
2 tbs clear vinegar
1-3 tsp red pepper flakes, to taste

Stir the mixture together. Simple. Then pour it over the soba noodles and toss. Cover the bowl and put it in the fridge for at least an hour or overnight (the longer you let it sit, the better the noddles will taste....yumm), tossing it occasionally. Add a few extra dashes of soy sauce if they get too dry.

Right before you serve this fab cold salad-thing, add some mix-in's. Whatever you find inspirational is always acceptable, but here are some ideas:
scallions
carrots
red peppers
artichoke hearts
sesame seeds
more soy sauce
more vinegar
more vodka lemonades on the rocks

*Asterisk time! I assume you've come all the way down here to find out what the hell soba noodles are. Eh? They're thin Japanese noodles made from buckwheat flour. You can get them in most grocery stores, often times in the hilariously over-generalized "ethnic" isle. Get lots cause you'll want to use them again and again, especially for Soba Noodles with Peanut Sauce and Coconut Curry Noodles, which can both be served cold.

(recipe inspired by and adapted from The Vegan Table)

Race Prep 'n Step

2011-06-04T12:25:00.008-05:00

I'm never more happy to be alive than when I'm running. Looking down at my feet pounding the pavement as it whizzes by, looking at my muscles as they flex to move my body forward, getting a sudden surge of energy with Rage Against the Machine pounding in my ears, or not. Sometimes the sound of the whole world around me is more fuel-licious than any music, and my brain begins to hum along oh so efficiently as I get high on my own chemicals. Never, ever, even when I'm eating lemon bars, do I feel so thankful to have my own two feet, attached to my own two legs, attached to my precious, adored body. Holy shit, it's heaven on Earth.

Normally this is a very individual experience, rarely shared unless you're one of the lucky few with a permanent running partner you can call to run with you in an ice storm or run with you in the burnin' heat or run with you straight into the sunset, high on life. If you have one of these people in your life, count yourself among the fortunate...for realsies. However, for the rest of us, these feelings bubble up inside when you're out there alone, gradually building until you've got nowhere else to turn except your mate/love/spouse/partner/dude-across-the-alley. They stay inside in kind of a good way, protected. That is, until the day before the race.

The day before is like a party. A party with runners. Lots of them.

Today was that day for me, standing amongst all these trim, fit, happy people holding my iced coffee and race packet. Lady Gaga jams over the PA system while I try on my race shirt (to make sure it fits, yes, but also to note how good it feels on and then to realize I'd better wear it all day, just to be sure), and there are smiling people with smiling children and smiling spouses and all their beat up running shoes. We gawk at each other like idiots because, aside from race day, this is one of the only times where you round up so many of these people at once. And even better, this is before we're all sweating and drooling and thundering toward the finish line with no care in the world and literally NO WAY to carry on a conversation.

And so, we blab. I yammered on to a perfect stranger today about socks. Socks and athletic tape and braided hair. And then she said something I'll never forget. "This is like an alcoholics anonymous meeting," she said. "We're all acknowledging our addictions. Hi, I'm Nancy. And I'm addicted to running."

"Hi. I'm Shelley," I responded. "I am also a junkie. I could never stop. Where'd you get that visor?!??!"

The Minneapolis Marathon is tomorrow. I am pumped. Pumped, I say. Running is the best thing ever.

Izzy disagrees.
Luna doesn't care.
ANYONE CAN BE A RUNNER and you should click here to learn how to do it! There's lots of info to be had.

Need some inspiration? Watch this. You'll feel the urge to lace up and get out there, fo shizzle.

(top photo from here)

You-So-Cool Granola

2011-06-03T09:21:00.005-05:00

A couple of nights ago, slightly too full from the ample leftovers of Alli's Fantastic Wizzbang Indian Bridal Shower, and reeling just a wee bit from having been out of town and the gotta-catch-up's that tend to plague the recently vacationed human, I found myself sitting on the sofa watching a docu-drama about mountain climbing on Netflix. Boy oh boy. It was thrilling.

But then, at that moment, when these dudes were trying some death defying stunt on the ridge of some huge mountain in Peru, I got off the couch and stormed out the door into the balmy summer evening with cabin fever heaving in my chest. I had to get out, right then and there, like...NOW. Because I am an adventurer, dammit, an important administrator of all things hard-core, and no WAY was I going to sit there while these two seemingly normal dudes scaled a mountain.
And so, I invented this while I was traipsing around the neighborhood like a lost puppy, gazing at this one particular house that I always "accidentally" find myself in front of, doing my best to swallow the bitter taste of jealously when I see how cute and small it is, how loved and slightly ramshackled, overflowing with flowers in the windows and the rarely seen "this lawn is chemical free" sign that I so adore.
I decided that in order to live so cooly, so unabashedly hippy as these people do in this little green house, I should make my own granola. Yeah. That'll be one step toward becoming more like them, with their compost bins and their dumpy yellow Volkswagen Beetle and their subscription to Outside Magazine and their lawn chairs and yoga mats. Homemade granola makes me cooler. More apt to becoming like them. You hear that, future self? Or are you still eating stuffed peppers and paying your student loans and reading Proust and planning trips to Belize?

Yes, you are. And you also apparently have a stock of homemade granola eternally at the ready. You definitely know that buying it is stupid, considering how expensive it is and how good yours tastes. And how you can control exactly what goes into it. Since you're like that.

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees and grab a big bowl. Toss in:
2 cups oats
1/2 cup almonds
1/2 cup coconut
1/4 cup millet
1/4 cup sunflower seeds
1/2 cup raisins
2 tbs flax seeds
whatever else looks tasty

Stir it up with a big spoon. Then, in a small bowl or cup, whisk together:
1/4 cup oil (olive oil tastes nice, but you can use canola oil too)
1/4 cup maple syrup

Pour the liquid mixture over the top of the dry stuff and mix, with your spoon, until everything is evenly coated. Add a dash more oil if it seems to dry, or if you went crazy with mix-in's. Then dump the whole thing, every last bit, onto a dry ungreased cookie sheet (with edges) and bake. After 15 minutes, or when the top looks slightly browned and toasty, stir the granola around on the pan and bake again for another 5 minutes. Toss and bake in 5-minute increments until you see your desired level of done-ness (since some folks like super crunchy granola and others prefer a bit of softness), but do your best not to burn it.

When it's done, let it cool completely on the sheet tray before you bag it up for breakfast tomorrow. You're cooler already.

Foodbuzz 24x24:The Bride of India

2011-05-29T07:25:00.003-05:00

I have a friend. Her name is Alli. She's one of those effortlessly stylish people who can wear turquoise tights and big pink plastic earrings and pants that I used to think would only look good on Aladdin. She buys pretty aprons and books about the black plague, and she calls me with questions like, "Should we make dinner tonight?" I like Alli, like bunches.
Alli is getting married, to a dude my dude has known since those two dudes were wee. Really wee. I have a picture of Matt and AJ standing together when they were just figuring out how to ask girls out and which side of Mr. Stevenson's math classroom smells the worst (okay, so they weren't babies when the met, but still purty damn young, in the embarrassing rosy-cheeked years of middle school). Matt is awesome...the kind of guy who compliments fashionable Alli like sea salt and chocolate. The kind of dude who sings and dresses up like Lupin from Harry Potter and attends murder mystery dinners and listens to books on tape and quotes Radiolab. They're a perfect match.

And since TODAY IS THE UPRISING'S FIRST BIRTHDAY, I figured what the hell, I'm throwing a party for Alli and The Uprising. A big Indian-themed party, since Indian cuisine calls to Alli in her dreams and she knows all about things like like tamarind and asafetida. And so, with the help of FoodBuzz (my advertising folks who so graciously decided to support this meal and to include it with their 24X24 feature) some elbow grease, and some very flexible ladies who, with almost zero notice, decided to make time for a party, I'd like to present my longest post ever! It's a wedding shower! It's a birthday party! It's Indian! It includes 9 recipes and a ber-jillion photos that I took with super schmancy camera! It's unbelievable!
I had this strange notion that somehow, for once, I would be super civilized and do the whole first course amuse bouche soup with samosas followed by the real meal, the main attraction. This, of course (HA!), did not happen, and I, naturally didn't care. It was delicious served as one big meal, straight out of the pots and with mismatched tableware, which we all knew would be the case.

I personally ate my amuse bouche out of a coffee cup. What a world.
ANYWAY! I won't present this meal with the feigned grace and impossible civility of the first course second course thing, but if you wanted to do that (all evidence of its necessity to the contrary), you could serve the Roasted Yellow Pepper and Corn Bisque alongside the delicious simplicity of Samosas, then follow it with a giant plate of Basmati Rice, Tamarind Lentils, Curry Tofu, Sauteed Spinach and Tomatoes, and Mango Chutney with Roti. Finally, you "let's do courses" people could follow up with wee plates of Chikki and a heaping platter of Jalebis.

Or you can throw everything on one table, sit on the floor, and drink your wine out of a plastic juice glass. It'll still taste amazing, no matter what you do, and everyone will still think you're astoundingly cool for feeding them...with food. Good, vegan food.

The following recipes are adapted from and inspired by Veganomicon and The New Moosewood Cookbook, and from mine own noggin. Go figure.

Scroll alllll they way down to look at every fantastic dish, or click on the links below individually:

ROASTED YELLOW PEPPER AND CORN BISQUE
SAMOSAS
TAMARIND LENTILS
CURRY TOFU
SAUTEED SPINACH AND TOMATOES
MANGO CHUTNEY
CORNMEAL POPPYSEED ROTI
MACADAMIA AND CASHEW CHIKKI
JALEBIS

Samosas

2011-05-29T07:24:00.006-05:00

Unfreakinbelievable. That's what these are. AJ's called them "india hot pockets," to which I responded by saying, "How dare you use that word...hot pockets....in reference to anything I've made. Ever. Even hot pockets. Especially hot pockets."

Nope. These are not hot pockets, but they do kinda look like it. Typically, samosas are filled with spicy potatoes and peas and then tossed in the deep fryer, but these ones are baked. So there's that.

THEY TASTE AMAZING.
So, you need to make the filling first. This recipe will make enough filling for about 12 samosas which, since they're side-dish-y, is a lot. I doubled this recipe for Alli's party and ended up with spicy mashed potatoes running out my ears.

First, grab:
2 large potatoes
1 medium sweet potato

Peel 'em (yeah, this is one of those times where they gotta be peeled...and since you know I almost never do that, I hope you trust me on it), then chop them into pieces and toss them in a pot. Cover with water and boil until very soft. Yup. Just like mashed taters. When they're ready, dump them in a big bowl. smash 'em with a fork until smooth, and set aside. Then heat a dash of olive oil over medium heat in your skillet and add:

1 onion, diced (finely)
2-10 cloves garlic, minced
1 tbs freshly grated ginger
1 tsp mustard seeds (or dried mustard)
1 tsp coriander
liberal dash o' salt
liberal dash o' cayenne

Saute the spiced onions and garlic for about 5 minutes or until they start to soften. Add this to the potater mixture, along with:
1 bag frozen peas (they'll thaw amongst the potatoes)

Stir. Filling is done. Leave it on the counter to cool a bit while you make the dough...

...which is cake. Well, not literally cake but still ridiculously easy. It's yogurt dough with very little moisture, so be prepared for some toughness. It won't be smooth and beautiful like bread dough, but rather more like pie crust dough. In a big mixing bowl, throw in:
5 cups all-purpose flour (you can also do half and half white/wheat)
1 tsp salt
2 cups soy yogurt
3 tbs water

Stir it all up with a spoon, switching to your hands when the goin' gets tough. Add more water or flour as needed in order to keep the dough in check...not too dry, not too sticky. Knead it together on your floured countertop, then cover it and let it sit in the fridge until you're ready to assemble your not-hot-pockets. This is an awesome place to stop if you're preparing these in advance.

To assemble! It's a cinch. Roll out a wad of dough into a circle-y type shape and don't freak if it's not perfect. Slap a spoonful of filling on one side, fold the other side over, then crimp it down with your fingers. You can use a fork to make pretty lines if you want. Me, I kinda like the finger dimples instead. When they're all assembled, it's time to bake. Alternatively, for advanced prep people, you can dust the unbaked samosas with flour and freeze them indefinitely to be baked later.
Are ya still with me? I know, these are a bit labor intensive. Alas, they're not the hardest part of this meal, but they're probably number 2 in terms of annoyance. BUT, I'm tellin' ya, they're so majorly worth it!

Okay, to bake. Preheat your oven to 425 degrees. Bake for 15 minutes, then turn the oven down to 375 and let them go 15 minutes more until they're nice and brown. You can also flip them in the middle to assure maximum crispiness, but it's not imperative.

Serve hot samosas with soup (how about bisque?) or chutney. Yummers. Everyone will worship you.

Roasted Yellow Pepper and Corn Bisque

2011-05-29T07:24:00.004-05:00

Kinda sweet, kinda spicy, this soup kicks some serious ass. People will say things like, "Wow! The complex combination of these flavors is so smashing, it makes me want to give you my yacht for 2 weeks so you can go skinny dipping in Acapulco!"

First thing, you gotta roast those peppers, baby. But since you already know how to do that, you won't freak out or do anything insane like buy them prepacked. You're so much brainier than that. You can even do this the day before! Whatevs! Preheat your oven to 400, line a sheet tray or 9x17 cake pan with foil (something with an edge to keep in the juices), and decorate it with:
4 yellow and/or orange peppers

Toss them on the pan whole and unsullied. Bake for 45 minutes to an hour, or until the skin is visibly loosened and somewhat blackened. Let them cool (do it), then pull out the stem and as many of the seeds as you can, peel off the skin, and deposit the soft fleshy pepper into a bowl for use later on. Don't they smell amazing?

Now, we move on to the actual soup. Find your stock pot and heat a good dash of olive oil over a medium high flame. Add:
2 big onions, diced
2 chili peppers, diced (I used a jalapeno and a big anaheim pepper)
2-10 cloves garlic, minced
1 bag frozen corn
2 yellow summer squash, cut in half lengthwise and thinly sliced

Cook this big pot o' veggies down until the squash starts to sweat out some of its water, about 4 minutes. Finally, add:
6 cups water
2 veggie bouillon cubes
your roasted yellow peppers

Bring everything to a boil, then reduce the heat and simmer for about 20 minutes (it really won't take long for the veggies to break down). Remove the pot from the heat and let it cool for about 10 minutes. The puree process is about to begin, and boiling hot soups can potentially lead to cracked blenders. No. Bad. Real bad. First, off the heat, stir in:
1 can coconut milk (the regular kind, not light...you want thick "bisque" not "broth")
1 tbs maple syrup
juice AND zest of one whole lime
dash of nutmeg

Stir everything together, then puree the soup in its entirety, transferring blenderfuls of the smooth soup into a bowl until the whole thing has been processed. Then dump the bowl's contents back into the pot and season-taste-season-taste with salt...don't skimp either. Salt will bring all the flavors of this bright yellow soup together under one rainbow of tasty revelry.

Serve with a blob of rice in the middle or a swirl of chili oil, if you like-a some spicy spicy.

Curry Tofu

2011-05-29T07:23:00.004-05:00

Boy oh boy! As if you didn't already know how to make killer baked tofu, a recipe like this comes along and makes it even better!

The process is exactly the same as with our tried-and-true Baked Tofu and Hoky Smoky Tofu, except the spice mixture is different. A versatile brick of beans, that tofu is.

First thing, press it out. No water allowed. Really. Wrap the drained tofu brick in 3 or 4 layers of paper towels, put it on a plate, stack another plate on top, then put a heavy can on top of that. Like this:

See? Not hard. And certainly not fancy. Let it hang out on the counter for at least 30 minutes while you whip up your easy curry marinade. In a small bowl, whisk together:
1/4 cup curry paste (which is, as you know, way better than powder)
1 tsp cumin
2 tbs olive oil
2 tbs soy sauce
3 tbs rice vinegar or mirin
1/2 water

Slice your drained tofu brick into 12 mini slabs (cut once down the center lengthwise than 6 times across the other way), lay them in a cake pan, then pour the marinade over the top and let it sit in the fridge, covered, till morning. The longer you soak, the more flavor you'll get. Duh.

When it's near time to eat, lay the squares on a lined baking sheet and bake at 400 degrees for about 25 minutes or until the edges are starting to brown. You want FIRM, not BURNED so keep an eye out will ya? Sheesh. Burned tofu is awful.
While it's still hot, slice each slab in quarters, or not. See if I care.

Tamarind Lentils

2011-05-29T07:23:00.003-05:00

Lentils and Indian food go together like baguette and French cuisine. If you're doin' Indian, you're doin' lentils.

Not to make them sound ho-hum, because these ones are so not. This recipe utilizes tamarind paste, which you've probably never heard of. It's okay. I hadn't either. Turns out that tamarind is a useful spice in both desserts and entrees, even as a side dish (the immature pods and flowers of the tree are sauteed with garlic and supposedly taste amazing). It's available in paste form in most ethnic food stores and is a wee bit on the pricey side, but delicious as all hell. Feel free to substitute with soy sauce if you don't have it.

Otherwise, this recipe is pretty straightforward. Use any kind of lentil you want and don't skimp on the salt!
In a big ol' pot (a stockpot works nicely), heat a dash of olive oil over medium heat and add:
1 onion, diced
2-10 cloves garlic
1 tbs freshly grated ginger
1 tbs cumin
1 tsp cayenne (or more)

Cook for just a few minutes until the onion begins to get soft, then add:
1 cup dry lentils
2 cups veg broth or water

Crank the heat, cover, and bring that baby to a rockin' boil. Give it a stir, then turn it down to a simmer and let it rock again for about 35 minutes until the lentils are tender and most of the liquid is absorbed. If they're too think and globby, just add a dash of water and give it a stir.

Finally, in a small bowl, combine the last of your fab flavors:
2 tsp tamarind paste
1 tbs maple syrup (weird!)
2 tbs tomato paste
liberal dash o' salt

Stir it up, nice and smooth, then add it to the lentils. Stir till everything is dissolved, taste for salt, then serve with rice and a smattering of other Indian yummies.

Mango Chutney

2011-05-29T07:22:00.005-05:00

Yeah, you could simmer and simmer and simmer then put everything in perfectly sterile jars with cute little ribbons and hand them out to all your neighbors with slices of cake, become the apple of everyone's eye, and, accordingly, win the key to the city.

Or you could whip it up in 5 minutes and share it with no one.

Let's do that one, at least this time. This stuff is so delicious...you'll really have to ask yourself whether you want to share or not. Or should you "share" it as a way to show off your mad mango-cutting skills?
In a large skillet, heat a small dash of light oil (canola or peanut or whatever) over medium low heat....not super hot. Add:
3 cloves garlic, minced
1 tbs freshly grated ginger
1 jalapeno, seeded and diced*
2 large mangoes, peeled and sliced into bits

Saute for about 1 minute or until you can really smell the garlic. Then add:
2 tbs water
2 tbs clear vinegar
1 tbs sugar (or maple syrup)
1/2 tsp cumin

Quickly bring the mixture to a boil for just a minute or two. You don't want to overcook the fruit or it'll turn to goo...and we want chunks. Chunks, baby. When it's done, toss the lovely chutney into the fridge to chill until dinner. Get a load of that fabulous color! India's comin' to town!

*It's the asterisk again, and this time it's about jalapenos. More specifically, how not to die when you cut one. The heat of a jalapeno lives everywhere inside it, but nowhere more so than in the seeds...seeds which, if they fly into your eye, will make you the most miserable person on planet earth for about half an hour. Your partner/spouse/housemate will really feel sorry for you after they stop laughing. Be super super super careful then, k? Slice the pepper lengthwise and gently remove the stem, white fibrous rib, and the scary seeds with your fingers, NOT with your knife. You are much more apt to make yourself miserable with just one flick of that blade, so seriously, use your phalanges. Dice and slice up the green part, add it to your recipe, then immediately wash your hands and rinse your cutting board. Do it. You'll only need to rub your eye one time to know what "seeing red" really means.

Sauteed Spinach and Tomatoes

2011-05-29T07:22:00.004-05:00

Because a huge Indian meal needs some form of a salad. Why? Who knows. Cause I want it.

In a big skillet, heat a solid dash of olive oil over medium heat and add:
2 or 3 plum tomatoes, diced (scoop out the seedy centers...those make for ooky spinach)
2-10 cloves garlic

Sautee for just a sec or until you can really smell that garlic. Yummers. Then add:
2 pounds raw spinach

Cook everything down over medium heat, wilting the spinach as you go. Covering the pan for a few moments will really expedite this process.
When all the spinach is wilted, dress your hot salad with salt and a dash of lemon juice.

Serve. Done. You should make this all the time.

Poppy Seed-Cornmeal Roti

2011-05-29T07:21:00.002-05:00

Every meal needs something to mop up the plate goodies with, besides your tongue. This is it. Indian flatbread, unleavened, beautiful in its soft corny texture and perfect for dippage.

And yes, this is the most challenging recipe featured in Alli's Whizbang Fancy Schmancy Bridal Shower Feast. It takes time, but it flexes your muscles. Much like making doughnuts or homemade hummus or your own fantastic pizza sauce, carefully and precisely measured to be awesome, everyone will think the sun shines out your ass if you make this. They'll be so mesmerized by your talent, you'll get that yacht trip to Acapulco way sooner than you thought. People will be tripping all over themselves to be your friend. They'll spin circles around you and throw confetti in the air and offer you drinks, drinks made with love.

This will make 8 good-sized flatbreads. So there. That should be enough. My double batch got way outta hand.

Let's make the dough. In a large bowl, combine:
3 cups flour (I used half and half wheat/white)
1/2 cup cornmeal
2 tbs poppy seeds
1 tsp cumin
2 tsp salt

Stir it up with a spoon, then add:
1 1/2 cups water

Mix to form a soft dough, switching to your hands when you knead to (ha!). Knead the dough on your floured countertop for about 5 minutes or until it's soft and smooth, adding more flour if it gets too sticky. Then, spray a bowl with cooking oil and dump the hunk o' dough straight into it to rest for 10 minutes, covered, while you make the crumb mixture. This rest time will help avert any unnecessary gluten development and will, therefore, help keep your roti tender.
Crumbs are easy. Just mix together the following with a fork until it's...um, crumbly. Behold:
1/4 cup flour
1/4 cup cornmeal
2 tbs canola oil
dash o' salt

Okay. Now you're set and ready to roll, literally. Get yourself a wee cup full of oil and a spoon to help smooth it across the flatbread (or a brush), flour your counter, and dump out the rested dough. Divide it into 8 even-ish balls. Ready? This is the somewhat tedious part, but it's really not so bad. Each ball you roll will go faster and look better than the one before it.

Roll the dough out into a circle. Using the back of the spoon, spread a thin layer of oil across the surface. Now, fold it in half and spread more oil again, this time on the newly-exposed surface. Then, fold that piece in half and spread more oil (you'll learn quickly how much oil it too much).

Gather the ends under one side of the ball and roll it out, again, into a circle. This time, you'll do the same thing, except you'll add a sprinkle of crumbs over each thin layer of oil. So, oil the circle and sprinkle with crumbs, fold it in half, oil and sprinkle, fold it again, oil and sprinkle. Gather the ends again, just like you did before, and roll it out into its final circular shape. Place the flatbread gently on a well-floured plate and turn back to the mess in front of you.
One down. 7 to go.

Be a soldier. Each one is easier, prettier, better-rolled than the others. Make sure you use lots of flour between each uncooked disc, lest you end up with stickage. Boo to that.

Done rolling? Are you glad? Now you get to cook them! In a dry skillet over medium high heat! Wow! Gently place a dough circle into the hot pan and cook for about 3 minutes. The dough will release from the bottom when it's almost there, but will not move prior to that moment (which also means it will tear if you flop it carelessly in the pan and attempt to fix it...nope, you got one chance to get it right). Flip it over and cook the other side. You want it to be browned and slightly bubbled, but not blackened. If your pan is smoking, there's a good chance your bread is burning.

Finally, when your roti comes out of the pan one by one, stack them on top of eachother on cutting board (they shouldn't stick together). Slice them into wedges and serve with a huge Indian feast like this one. Everyone will love you.

Macadamia and Cashew Chikki

2011-05-29T07:20:00.002-05:00

4 ingredients. One big sugar bomb. This candy concoction is like peanut brittle on steroids. It's crunchy and munchy and looks super pretty in a nice bowl, and it can also be made with whatever nuts you have....I just chose these cause I was feeling indulgent. So sue me.
These babies might also be your first excuse for playing with caramelizing too! Double trouble!

Roast these, on a dry sheet tray, for 8 minutes, at 350 degrees:
1 cup macadamia nuts
1 cup cashews

Try your best to buy unsalted nuts, but don't worry if salted ones were all you could find. There's a lot to be said for controlling the salt content, a control you can exercise right now if your nuts are salt-free. Salt them, to taste. When your nuts are browned and salted to your liking, pour them onto a foil-lined, greased sheet tray. They're about to get pwned. With sugar.

But, this part takes time. A lot of time. There's good new though...you don't have to stand there and watch this process go down, although it IS pretty freakin' cool. Depending how much water you add to the sugar, it may take up to 45 minutes. In a big saucepan, add:
2 cups sugar
enough water to cover it (like wet sand)

Bring this mixture to a boil, uncovered, on high heat. The sugar will now cook and cook and cook until it begins to change at a chemical level and break down oh so slowly. Oh. So. Slowly. While it's working on the stove it is DOUBLY IMPORTANT to be EXTRA SUPER CAUTIOUS with your arms, elbows, or any potential child-stove interaction. Sugar burns are horrific. Much like getting smashed with all the power a jalapeno can muster, nature will totally win out on this one and you win be in pain. So be careful.
Several minutes in, you'll start to notice that little crystals have formed up the sides of the pan above the water level, which you'll eventually learn to wipe off with a wet paper towel. Do not attempt this if you're a sugar-cooking rookie. See above for more details. This crystallization is also your cue to start looking for color, a dark, caramel color to be exact. Not burned, just dark. The sugar and water will have reduced way down and exhibit a change in texture, far more toward the syrupy end than the watery one. You should also smell the caramel (which, incidentally, always smells like popcorn to me). When it's there, CAREFULLY remove the pan from the stove and pour the caramel over the waiting roasted nuts. Spread it out evenly with a spatula, then immediately fill your sugar pan with scalding hot water. Do not do not do not leave it on the stove unsoaked because then, my sweet one, you'll have ruined your pan. Get it cooled down quickly and that sticky caramel will just melt away, sending a would-be terrible mess down the drain and into your nightmares.

When the chikki has cooled, break off pieces with your fingers and enjoy! Be sure to brush your teeth afterwards.

Jalebis

2011-05-29T07:19:00.001-05:00

It a doughnut shaped like a wibbly faux-pretzel and soaked in sugar! Then it's topped with more sugar! Given to the poor during Ramadan in the 13th century, jalebis are now part of the quintessential Indian street food world. They're sometimes flavored with cinnamon, cardamom, lemon, or rosewater and are always dripping with sugar.

We're all going to get headaches.
The dough needs to be made in advance by about an hour. I whipped it up right when everyone was sitting down for dinner, and that seemed to work well. It's a sponge dough, which means the yeast is leavened with the flour and not bloomed separately (like with bread and pizza dough), so don't be weirded out. This comes together in a flash.

In a medium *non-metal* mixing bowl, combine:
1/2 tsp yeast
1/2 cup water

Stir until it comes together, then add:
1/2 cup all-purpose flour
1 tsp chickpea flour (if you don't have any, just add more all-purpose)
1/2 tsp sugar
1/2 tsp oil

Stir it smooth, baby. Cover the dough, then go eat dinner. It needs to sit for an hour.

When you're ready heat 3 or so cups of canola oil in a small saucepan. You're so gonna deep fry these are you're not even gonna care. Much like with doughnuts, frying goes easier with a steep-sided pan. Less oil, less splatter, fewer pissed off people. While it's heating up (crank up the stove so it goes faster) pour your risen jalebi dough into a large ziploc bag, squeeze out the air, and seal it up. This will be used to drop the dough into the oil in cute coils that only sort of resemble poop.

Cut off one corner of the bag and get ready. Test your oil by dropping in a teensy bit of batter...if it flares up with bubbles, the oil is ready. So ready. Drop your jalebi dough into the oil while circling your hand in spirals, squeezing and circling, and don't try to make fancy shapes. They will totally not stay. Let the spiral cook for about 2 minutes before you flip it over with a slotted spoon to fry that other side. When the jalebi is browned, remove it to a paper-toweled plate and drop another small coil into the oil (rhyme!). Repeat.

While your naked jalebis are cooling a bit, stir together the following in a small saucepan:
1 cup sugar (more sugar...oi vey)
1/2 water

Bring this mixture to a boil over high heat, cooking just until it's turned clear. Voila! Simple syrup! Turn off the heat and start dunking your soon-to-be-not-naked jalebis. Toss one in the syrup, flip it around, then quickly remove it. Soaking it too long will leave you with sodden, limp dessert...and no one wants that. So don't soak it too long.

Stack your dunked, beautiful jalebis on a plate, dust with powdered sugar, and serve. Your guests will ask you what the hell these things are, and you should oblige them with a history lesson (not to mention a lesson in your general coolness). Click here for the Wikipedia entry.

Lemon Bars

2011-05-27T07:42:00.003-05:00

Dude. Lemon bars, I'm tellin' ya, and you have to believe me, are in my top 5 favorite desserts of all time. Serious. I enjoy all good food as you well know, and I'm generally touting the joy of every amazingly beautiful flavor in every recipe as the bestest EVER, which is always true. But sometimes a girl's gotta have a favorite, something that reaches out and grabs you with a shake, saying, "You must eat me. Even if you are full. Even if you know you'll get a sugar headache. Especially if you know I am particularly delicious and animal-free and cold from the fridge. You. Must. Have. Me." The lemon bars are seducing me.
Unfortunately, in most cases, lemon bars are made with a mountain of eggs to get that golden yellow hue and can also exhibit a pound of butter in the crust. We don't have time for that crap. We want our butts to be high and perky and our arms to be firm and our tummies to be happy. Screw butter and eggs. This lemon bar has none of those. It also doesn't call for anything fancy in the way of ingredients, no agar-agar (which is really cool stuff but too expensive for this girl) and no turmeric.
Simple. Alluring. Cold and zippy. My fave.
Crust first! The crust is my favorite of the favorite, so buttery sweet. It is, then, with no hesitation that I admit having made a double recipe of this in order to get a super thick, dense crust. If that's not you, just bust out a regular batch. With your mixer, hand or stand, cream together:
1 stick Earth Balance
1/4 cup sugar
2 cups flour

Just throw it all in and mix. Simple. It should come together really easily, attaining that nice pie dough consistency rather quickly, but if it seems too dry you can add a tablespoon or two of water. This texture is just about right:
Soft, smashable, but not too dry. Press this yummy dough firmly into the bottom of an ungreased square cake pan, flattening with your hands as you go and going slightly up the sides to help keep the filling sealed to the crust (and not stuck to the bottom). Bake at 375 for about 20 minutes, or until the edges are just slightly browned.

While it's baking, put together your simple pudding-like filling. It's really important to pour the hot filling over the hot crust, so hop to it! It needs to be ready soon. In a saucepan, combine the following:
1/4 cup flour
1 cup sugar
1/4 cup cornstarch
dash o' salt

Now, turn the burner on to medium high and whisk in:
1 3/4 cup water
zest of 1/2 lemon
3/4 cup lemon juice

Bring it to a boil, stirring constantly. The mixture will immediately thicken up, but just keep stirring and make sure you're checking for burnage on the bottom. Stir, stir, stir for about 5 minutes or until a thick, pudding-y consistency is achieved. Pour your sheZAM lemony filling over the crust, hot from the oven, and let the whole thang cool. Put it in the fridge. Let it hang out.

When you're ready, and you will so totally be ready, slice and serve. You can dust the tops with powdered sugar too if you'd like!

(recipe inspired by and heavily adapted from The 100 Best Vegan Baking Recipes)

The Exit, with Sloppy Joes

2011-05-26T08:29:00.002-05:00

The following is a list of Sloppy Joe's aliases.

Yip Yips
Yum Yums
Wimpies
Slushburgers
Hot Tamales
Taverns
Sloppy Janes (Joe's ladyfriend)
Steamers
Gulash
Dynamites
Manwiches
Victory Burgers
Juice Burgers
Snot Burgers
Finger Toes

Way to go incognitus, Joe.
What is it about tomato-soaked bread that is so delicious? Isn't it, like, totally weird that something so silly could be exactly what I want? What's up with that?
It's Memorial Day weekend and I'm so excited I can hardly think straight, sitting here just outside my kitchen with a pile of dirty dishes looming and waves of heat rolling out of my oven (that's the price of roasted beets). I have marinara sauce to make. I have a loaf of bread to rise. I certainly have no time to sit on the porch dreaming about my upcoming weekend. I certainly cannot be on vacation already.

But I totally am. I so totally am. This weekend, me and AJ and a cadre of pals from yesteryear are flittering up to northern Minnesota to do...well, absolutely nothing. Except eat. And drink. On the dock. In my new fabulous swimsuit. It's going to be sooo amazing because, really, I haven't been out of town in so long. I'm starting to notice the adverse effects of spring gotta-get-outta-here fever. Jittery legs, uninspired mind (unless, of course, I'm talking about leaving town), the inconsolable longing to smell sunblock and gasoline and eat potato chips and pack my coffee pot into its cute little carrying case for the journey. I long to wake up early and stand on the deck with my cup, my toes just slightly too cold and my brain positively buzzing with options about how best to relax. Swim? Sit? Read? Doodle? Approximate the mass of the universe? How about an episode or two of Game of Thrones and a map-drawing contest? The winner gets cupcakes, but only after I've eaten three. It might rain, it might not. I don't really give a crap. Because I am SO on vacation.

Sloppy joes would taste good up there, in the misty world of don't-gotta-do-nuthin' land.

In your skillet, crumble up:
1 package tempeh*

Cover it with water, about 1/4 cup, and turn the heat up to medium high. Simmer the tempeh for about 10 minutes, then add:
1 onion, diced
1 red pepper, diced

Cook it down a bit, just until the onions start to soften. Toss in a few more tablespoons of water if you need to, or even a dash of olive oil. Finally, when the veggies are cooked-ish, stir in:
1 can tomato sauce
1 tbs chili powder
dash of Worcestershire sauce
dash o' salt
dash o' pepper

Stir it all up and turn off the heat. Oh yeah, that smells amazing! Now, toast your buns and eat that sloppy joe like you're on vacation. I so am.

*"What the hell is tempeh?" Is that what you're asking by following the asterisk all the way down here? Tempeh comes in a brick, much like tofu, and is made up of soybeans that have been smashed together using a controlled fermentation process. It's crazy versatile and has a chewy texture that's to die for! Click here for the Wikipedia entry if you want to know more.

(recipe adapted from The Vegan Table)