Under My Skin

From Me To You

2012-01-31T00:57:00.000-08:00

Who am I?
Who has I become?
Do you still recognize me?
It's me, the person who I am right now

I miss you,
I want to be like you,
your politeness,
your modesty,
your smartness,
your intellectualism,
your kindness...

I'm too far away from you,
we're two different people,
living in the same body,
but I'm taking over this body,
I am the devil to her body
I wish I could kill me
and let you take over this body again
for how I loathe myself

you are perfect for this person,
you are what this person wants,
she doesn't like me,
she hates me,
she wants you, she wants you back.

It hurts me, for who I am.
She's not proud of me,
She keeps telling me that she wants you back
and I can go fuck myself to die.

Meatball Sub Recipe

2011-12-16T22:15:00.000-08:00

Ingredients:
- 1 lb beef
- 2 tbsp onion powder
- 1-1/2 tbsp salt (more if you like your food salty)
- 1 cup Italian-style bread crumbs
- 1 egg
- 1 container tomato sauce (I used Prego)

Steps:

(1) Preheat oven to 325.

(2) In a large bowl, combine all ingredients (except the tomato sauce) until well-mixed. The meat should be very malleable, and not sticky.

(3) Roll meat mixture into balls, 1-inch in diameter. Place balls on a greased pan. Don’t crowd the pan, but you don’t have to worry about these meatballs spreading, so you can line them closer than you would if you were working with cookie dough.

(4) Bake meatballs for about 8 minutes.

(5) While meatballs are baking, start heating the pasta sauce in a large sauce pan.

(6) Take the meatballs out of the oven and scoop them into the bubbling sauce. Leave the oven on.

(7) Cook meatballs in sauce for about 3 minutes. Turn stove off.

(8) Cut a 6-7 inch wedge off the end of a loaf of French bread. Slice length-wise without severing the loaf all the way in half.

(9) Line the bottom half with provolone cheese. Scoop about 4-5 meatballs into the middle, and top with more provolone.

(10) Place your sandwich onto a baking sheet and slide back in the oven. Bake for about 1 minute, or until the cheese is melted. Sprinkle with chopped or dried parsley.

(11) Eat immediately, with a lot of napkins on hand.

source: http://www.justputzing.com/2011/08/meatball-sub.html

Oh My First December Post

2011-12-03T23:59:00.000-08:00

Hi. I'm sorry that my blog is so dead. I have no time to update this blog because I'm usually on tumblr. It's easier there, for lazy people like me cause you just reblog things which sometimes I think it's gay but enjoyable at the same time. I will not let this blog to be a dead blog. I promise, I'll be active again. I'm going to have my final for this semester on January 3rd which is the next day of my 21st birthday and it's going to be the second time celebrating without my family. sigh... well, we don't usually have special things on my birthday anyways. So, I bet it's going to be nothing special for 2012. I miss home, seriously. I miss everyone and everything I know, even though sometimes I say "FFFF everyone and everything I know". okay. take care. I love you all :)

Make Up Your Mind Lili!

2011-09-29T07:05:00.000-07:00

Somehow I feel like forgetting tumblr. LOL

Do I?

2011-09-28T01:35:00.000-07:00

Do I even still have readers? Should I keep on updating? Even though I know how gay tumblr is, at least I get reblogged everyday. It feels better to know that people like what you post rather than knowing there are visitors and they post their link on your blog so that you will visit their site. meh

Spaghettini in Alfredo sauce

2011-08-26T10:45:00.000-07:00

I was watching Rango and suddenly I felt like cooking and it was 11.35 pm. So , I paused the movie and went straight to the kitchen and made this .Don't need to wonder why I'm fat -.-! hehe.

It was good!

dew photography

2011-08-25T21:25:00.000-07:00

It's been raining these days. last evening, I took pictures of the plants after rain! :D using my compact camera. err. that's fine. just for fun. I'm not a photographer.

Lasagna

2011-08-21T22:01:00.000-07:00

It was my mom's 54th birthday. I made this beef lasagna for iftar :]

The boy and the Apple Tree

2011-08-20T20:45:00.000-07:00

A long time ago, there was a huge apple tree. A little boy loved to come and play around it everyday. He climbed to the treetop, ate the apples, took a nap under the shadow…he loved the tree and the tree loved to play with him. Time went by…the little boy had grown up and he no longer played around the tree every day.

One day, the boy came back to the tree and he looked sad. “Come and play with me” the tree asked the boy. “I am no longer a kid, I do not play around trees any more” the boy replied.

“I want toys. I need money to buy them.” “Sorry, but I do not have money… but you can pick all my apples and sell them. So, you will have money.” The boy was so excited. He grabbed all the apples on the tree and left happily. The boy never came back after he picked the apples. The tree was sad.

One day, the boy who now turned into a man returned and the tree was excited “Come and play with me” the tree said. “I do not have time to play. I have to work for my family. We need a house for shelter. Can you help me?” “ Sorry, but I do not have any house. But you can chop off my branches to build your house.” So the man cut all the branches of the tree and left happily. The tree was glad to see him happy but the man never came back since then. The tree was again lonely and sad.

One hot summer day, the man returned and the tree was delighted. “Come and play with me!” the tree said. “I am getting old. I want to go sailing to relax myself. Can you give me a boat?” said the man. “Use my trunk to build your boat. You can sail far away and be happy.” So the man cut the tree trunk to make a boat. He went sailing and never showed up for a long time.

Finally, the man returned after many years. “Sorry, my boy. But I do not have anything for you anymore. No more apples for you …” the tree said. “No problem, I do not have any teeth to bite” the man replied. “No more trunk for you to climb on” “I am too old for that now” the man said. “I really cannot give you anything… the only thing left is my dying roots” the tree said with tears. “I do not need much now, just a place to rest. I am tired after all these years” the man replied. “Good! Old tree roots are the best place to lean on and rest, Come, come sit down with me and rest.” The man sat down and the tree was glad and smiled with tears…

This is a story for everyone.The tree is like our parents. When we were young, we loved to play with our Mum and Dad…

When we grow up, we leave them…only come to them when we need something or when we are in trouble.

No matter what, parents will always be there and give everything they could just to make you happy.

You may think the boy is cruel to the tree, but that is how all of us treat our parents. We take them for granted we don’t appreciate all they do for us, UNTIL it’s too late. May Allah SWT forgive us of our shortcomings and may He Guide us inshaallah.

“And your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him. And that you be dutiful to your parents. If one of them or both of them attain old age in your life, say not to them a word of disrespect, nor shout at them but address them in terms of honour. And lower unto them the wing of submission and humility through mercy, and say: ‘My Lord! Bestow on them Your Mercy as they did bring me up when I was small.’ ” [Al-Qur’an 17:23-24]

source : http://islamicthinking.tumblr.com/post/9017332355/the-boy-the-apple-tree

Nasi Kerabu

2011-08-20T09:16:00.000-07:00

Nasi Kerabu

It’s always my favorite Malay food . The first time I had this was in college because my roommate was Kelantanese and I tried this when I saw her eating this rice.They say it’s healthy cause it’s not oily. Love it!

15 Days of Suman

2011-08-17T02:41:00.000-07:00

within 15 days period

The First time I saw you, I thought you were the most attractive person in the building.
I liked ...
the way you walked,
the way you looked at me.

I like the way you talked to me.
the way you approached me
the way you made me feel
the way you told me things.

the way you took my pictures

the way you carried your professional camera
your goatie, it was cute.
your style,

your height ,
your smile ,
:)

After 15 days

I hate the way you walk
I hate the way you looked at me
I hate the way you approached me
I hate the way you made me feel
I hate the way you told me things
I hate that I let you took my pictures
I hate the way you walk with your camera
your goatie, it's eww to me now
I hate your style
I hate your smile
I hate your height
I wish I never knew you.

you said, you'd call me but you never did and I don't think you would.
this is Ramadhan and how dare you play with my heart.
I'm not broken but i just don't wanna see your face again.

Roses are red , violets are blue.

Fuck you ~~asshole~~.

First Day of Work

2011-08-01T20:10:00.001-07:00

I must say I love my job but my hands are aching but it's not so bad because I still can do more! it's pretty cool about my job...

2011-08-01T19:57:00.000-07:00

why do they choose to ignore us?

#UNWANTED

Headless Figure in Red

2011-07-12T02:13:00.000-07:00

Assalamualaikum to my readers (If I even have any)

I read a post on Akmal Ayob's blog about his experience with the supernatural thing he had while sleeping and what he saw in the mirror. Read his blog if you wanna know his story. Therefore, I'm writing this post to tell about my experience with the "Headless Figure in Red".

I remember it happened when I was 15 and I was going to have a big examination, Penilaian Menengah Rendah (commonly abbreviated as PMR; Malay for Lower Secondary Assessment) so I stayed up late in school ,studying with my best friend Nabila as the exam was just around the corner. It was around 11 pm and it was just us because everyone went back to the hostel already, we walked from the school to the hostel and oh yeah before I forgot , I studied in a boarding school. As we reached near the mosque, I saw something in front in the cover walk was facing us and it was big but looked like it was looking at us and FYI, I wasn't wearing my glasses on and that's why I asked Nabila" hey do you see what I'm seeing right now?" she said "yeah but don't know what it is" . So we decided to walk in front of it to look closer but we just looked at it like that but then suddenly Nabila asked me to run and recite ayatul Qursi. I was like "what is it?" she anxiously asked me to run and kept on reciting ayatul Qursi and I did with full of curiosity in my head.

Once we reached in front of our hostel block , we stopped running and I asked her again, what was it and she told me " I saw a red figure but headless" and I was shocked but thankful that I wasn't able to see it clearly and the thing did not disturb us.Until now I'm still wondering about what I saw (but wasn't clear). If it was human, why would someone stood in the cover walk at night like that ?

this is what we saw. well something like this.sorry for the ugly drawing :P

So this is how the real cover walk looks like

Shirts

2011-07-09T00:12:00.000-07:00

My life isn't so interesting like yours..I got two new shirts ;

from my sis

from my cousin.

at least my blog is updated

Sarawak

2011-06-28T00:56:00.000-07:00

Last Friday me, my parents and sister went to Sarawak and our flight was at 7.10 am but we had to leave house at 4 a.m but that wasn't an issue.Something interesting happened and it all started when we waited at the bust stop near our neighborhood . They said 4 a.m but they came later which was making me felt bored waiting and sleepy because I had not slept yet. There were an ugly bus and a van but thank god the bus was full so we hopped into the van. I had a feeling that something just was not right but I did not know what it was because I had no clue.

Soon as we reached the Penang International Airport, we checked in our luggage and that time my mom realized that she didn't have her ID with her or even a passport. So my mom and dad went home to find for the ID but dang it wasn't there. We were running out of time so she had to stay and just me, my sis and my dad who made it. I was so sad and was not very happy for this trip. I cried all the time thinking that my mom was alone at home.

As life goes on, here are some pictures to enjoy and guess what? it wasn't bad at all because she came on the next day! yay =]

I love Sarawak because of the uniqueness of this place and the people there are very nice. I know I live in Malaysia and Sarawak is still in Malaysia but it's totally different from Penang because they do have what we don't have here and I heard the crime rate there is very low ! The food is so different and very rare from Penang. I've tried things that I've never tried before and that is what I love to do, trying new things and leave it if I don't like it.At least once in a lifetime, right?

I have more pictures but hey, why look at pictures? go visit Sarawak yourself! lol one more thing I love about this place is I met Muni and visited her house. She said I'm the first friend from Peninsular Malaysia who visited her :D Her sister gave us Cheese Layer Cake that she made herself it was good! I love it!

I also uploaded a few videos on my youtube channel of my visit to Sarawak Cultural Village and more to come soon :)

list of places I've visited in Sarawak
Sarawak Museum
Sarawak Cultural Village
Pasar Satok
Kuching Waterfront
Dayang Salhah Kek Lapis (Layer cake)
Sin Piao's Bird's nest.
Ngee Tai Pottery Factory
Semenggoh Wildlife Rehabilitation Centre
Sarikin

Beautiful by Boonaa Mohammed (Poetry)

2011-06-27T22:44:00.000-07:00

Maybe you’re smarter than me,
Or maybe you just know how much your worth
Or maybe you don’t need anyone to tell you you’re beautiful
‘Cause you already knew that the day you came out the womb.
Maybe you know too much, or maybe you just expect the worst
Or maybe you aint trying to be nobody’s baby unless he speaks with your dad first
Maybe you’re saving yourself for heaven cause you can’t stand this earth
Maybe you’re saving yourself from hell, Iblis and the ones who are cursed
Maybe you see past deception, maybe this world is a lie
Maybe we’re like in the matrix, but you’re unplugged and you can fly
Maybe you just wanna go back home so you stare at the sky
‘Cause maybe you know the difference between living and just being alive
Maybe you are a slice of this life’s ultimate prize
Cause maybe your mind has been divinely designed
But maybe it’s just me or maybe its Maybeline
Or maybe I should do a better job at lowering my gaze but honestly you’re amazing
And I treat you like a queen ‘cause you give me no choice
My sister in deen it is time to rejoice,
For you who believe and work righteous deeds,
There is a garden of bliss, for all of eternity
If only you would believe what your eyes could not see
Which begs the question what is beauty?

Maybe it’s the way her bodies shaped or the way she’s dressed
But if everyone was blind, how many people would you impress?
I couldn’t care less for tight jeans or a short dress
Or those shirts that expose what God told you to protect
And I don’t mean to sound rude, but how could you approve of any dude
Who doesn’t mind sharing you with the whole world too?
‘Cause he probably don’t think you’re beautiful, he think your booty-full
Glossed lips with make up on every single cuticle, and it aint cute at all
Cause if those shoes hurt your feet, why don’t you just take them off?
Some girls think that pain equals sassy, and if you got it show it off
But nobody even looks happy with those plastic smiles on
And those magazines are wrong, forget men and their songs
Love yourself first before you take anyone else on,
And to love yourself is to love the one whom which all love belongs
There is beauty in creation, but creator really got it going on
‘Cause there is something seriously wrong with pre-teens who look like moms
And middle aged moms who are afraid to see life move on
So they tell wrinkles to be gone, buy hair to make it long
Pluck this, tuck that until you don’t even know who you are
You women are oppressed, forced to flaunt your thighs and chest
And before puberty, you already on a diet
Promoting nudity, like it’s some kind of natural science

But you’re a diamond, I shouldn’t even see past the glass cage unless I’m buying
But if you have no shame, than do as you please
Because what is beauty, but an extension of modesty?

So maybe she’s right, maybe she does deserve respect
And maybe she walks around feeling like a superhero with that scarf dangling from her neck
Maybe nobody is forcing her to wear it
Maybe she would never leave home without it
And maybe she don’t care what other people think,
cause most people opinions aint even valid
Maybe she feels free; maybe she has peace of mind
And maybe she’ll give you a piece of her mind if you step out of line,
Maybe she isn’t perfect, but maybe she’s trying
Maybe she is just taking things one day at a time
Maybe she laughs and maybe she cries
And maybe you would be surprised at everything she keeps inside
Maybe she hears every single word said by those cowards
Maybe she has no problem defying all those who doubt her
Maybe she is a warrior and the silence is getting louder
Maybe she wears that shield because every single day is a battle
Maybe she is more than the skin she is in,
Maybe we should start learning how to love what’s within
Maybe God only knows all the places she has been
But maybe she comes back to him, again and again
Maybe she’s not afraid to die, just afraid not to live
Maybe I am not worthy of everything she can give
Because maybe she is kind, sweet, pure, gentle and suitable
And maybe, just maybe she is beautiful

Loded Diper

2011-06-21T07:48:00.000-07:00

my third gif image. from the movie

Diary of a Wimpy Kid: Rodrick Rules

What's your name?

2011-06-20T20:53:00.000-07:00

my second gif from the music video Smile-Avril Lavigne

Bottle

2011-06-14T20:59:00.001-07:00

Bottle from Kirsten Lepore on Vimeo.

29 ways to stay creative

2011-06-12T10:31:00.000-07:00

29 WAYS TO STAY CREATIVE from TO-FU on Vimeo.

Facebook

2011-06-08T11:40:00.000-07:00

I've been thinking and think again.I want to do this but I'm not quite sure because I might do it permanently.

DEACTIVATE?

My First gif image!

2011-06-01T10:41:00.000-07:00

from the movie Diary Of a Wimpy Kid

GUTS

2011-05-28T10:08:00.000-07:00

location: Pantai Bersih, Penang
model : my best friend
photographed by:Liliana

Knocked Down

2011-05-25T21:46:00.000-07:00

I get knocked down

But I get up again

You're never going to keep me down